What a fitting song to come on at the damdest time. I had no idea what to write about. Truth be told I've been feeling kind of numb. Talk about lifting you up and plopping me back down somewhere I don't want to be right now? I hate that family upstairs sometimes and frankly I'm not very happy with the ones down here either. I can't say I've ever had allot of desire to kick any man in the balls but today I would gladly. I don't give a fuck which brother today. I hate them all. The mother fucker I married and that mother fucking asshole with all those kids. I wish it was as easy as saying why the fuck didn't you keep your God Damn trap shut? I hate you! I hate you! I hate you today! Every last one of you but especially this brother. What a mother fucking peach this ones gonna be. Assholes every last one of you.
Last night Cyndi made a flip comment and you have no idea how true this one was. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. She said "hell has a lifetime restraining order on your mother." Yup if I was Satan and this entity I'd file a lifetime restraining order and run too. Either mother down here up there, not even I want any of that. Oh the storm. I hate my mother today. I don't care if they have my back, I don't want to be anywhere near this storm.
Oh and my brother, J.C., Brother Todd, really? You have to ask? I guess I only saw J.C.'s burdens and heart inside not the other side of J.C., my brothers justice and just who his mother is? No that asshole plopped my ass here and I hate him today. You bet I want to kick a brother in the balls.
My Sister? All wrapped up in one in this family tree. Karma/Justice/Faith/Destiny/Poison Ivy all wrapped up in this sisters justice and today I don't give a fuck. It finally dawned on me that out of these four up there, I am number five, the only one alive.
Still can't get my name on a lease, not even with Michael's name on it. Timing.
Then it dawned on me hey wait a minute, out of these three asshole brothers that cross pathways at three doors. Yeah real cool, it finally sunk in that even though I'm human and only a shell, these three assholes are spiritual and celestial beings but not me. I'm the only sister right here. The only mother, the only daughter and some days I don't want to deal with this families baggage either.
What a quandary I have here. I have a Trojan Horse going down somewhere else in the United States, but truth be told, I have a real spiritual, fucking bring it all on. Give it all you got for two days and two nights. With three of the biggest Trojan Horses crossing paths once and for all. I can't alert anyone. Not without everyone trying to lock mother nature in a box. Stick another label, another poison, another lie, on this mothers love for my children head. Really people three dead brothers and one alive sister and that makes four. I could use those four horse men today.
Does anyone have any morals anymore? Does anyone have any values, any principals, any dignity, any pride for anything but yourselves anymore? Today I just want to check out. Not to commit suicide, I just don't want to be here either, especially not alone. Today I could use my six, my four, my three, my two and my one. Truth be told I hate this. Lets get this over with. Today I hate my family. Today I hate my life.
To have Faith in others who have no Faith in themselves is the hardest part in this family tree. I'm left to carry everything I hold inside me alone.
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