Truth be told I don't have faith in mankind. I don't have faith in society. I don't have faith in my kings. Not these four kings. The four kings on this planet anyways. The ones who are mother natures and God's children who are here this time to represent this nation, this planet, our mother. You know the only sister who stands in the middle of this triangle. The three doorways the three pathways all in this place. I truly hate this shit. It makes me wonder just where the fuck are my four jacks? I mean half the time I'm lucky to find one jack let alone two everyday just to hook me up. I'm so tired of being tied up to all these cords and batteries just to have a life line here on this planet. I remember when I was young all you needed to get music was electricity and a cord or battery. I'm all hooked up and Pandora can't even play a request. At least when I was a kid you can call in and make a request for a song. I didn't have to rely on all this technology to get music. I'm all hooked up and the internet doesn't work or Pandora can't hook up. All this shit I pay for pisses me off. All this garbage pisses me off. Now the head jack in my phone doesn't even work.
When you are homeless you have no peace. None. I had a woman named Meg in the shelter. She left her husband and bottle behind. Just packed up her car and left, somehow she ended up here. I never could of gotten sober living in that house. Not for one God Damn minute of any day. I drew a name out of Mason's lil bowl. I never knew if it was Gem or Meg. When Meg screamed and yelled every night over any speck of noise. One lil peep. No one even noticed what Meg was yelling about, but I did. Meg wanted peace and well when your homeless no matter where you go you never have peace.
In these woods, I've got Gary always moving around me or if he's not I don't have choices when I do. Hell I can't even make a peep in my own tent without him asking me what it is? How is that peace? My music that no I don't choose even today, but I can at least choose the genre, kind of like I could as a kid. Not really because now I need all these components to hook up to everyday to make something work. Yes I feel tethered and like a puppet to the wrong society and I don't like it one God Damn bit. I don't give a fuck who pays for this, it had better work when it is offered, I am so fucking burned out of shit/products and garbage that can't even do there job it pisses me off.
All these titles of power out there and not one in the service industry anywhere because of these titles and sense of entitlement, it has made mankind lazy and acceptable of this service and this garbage. It gives mankind a good excuse for bad behavior in any title today. The money and the title is what its all about. I don't see a whole hell of all of humanity in these titles today. I see allot of people with allot of indignant behavior for these titles. When Gary told me he saw a Spynx Cat in the woods. Here comes Egypt back around again. Lone wolf sitting out here in these woods? Lone Spynx Cat? I truly I don't give a fuck anymore about these spiritual animals or spiritual signs today. I am burned out and tired.
I signed up here to receive food at a food bank last week. It pissed me off like you would not believe. I had everything ready all signed up and ready to go and I get to the counter, the first thing the lady said is there seems to be a problem with your address? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm homeless I don't have a address. I made that pretty clear when I registered. My EBT card is out of dollars. I have pretty much a liquid diet trying to get all the nutrients I can. I am limited by what I can even get at the food bank. I have to carry it and store it at whatever temperature and I don't have those options. I'm still in king county however, a recipient of this good fortune I hold in the palm of my hand. The irony telling mother natures daughter how she is gonna eat? The irony is I'm hungry and everyday it is a chore not a choice for me to eat, how I'm gonna eat, what I'm gonna eat or what I need to survive everyday. I am mother nature and you are starving me. This system is deciding for me how I'm going to eat. Truth is we are all mothers and fathers. I don't like the way this system feeds us or decides for us how my children are gonna eat.
The way I see it because my only options I have here is to let my family decides who lives and who dies. They see the bigger picture of what you really hold in your heart. Man kind always wants to test fate. I don't have faith in mankind to accept their fate make the right choice and move forward. Mankind really is just to trigger happy for my taste. Truth be told I don't think anyone in society can handle the truth no matter who you are or who you represent. Everyone is always looking for the truth, and when you get it your run or point your fingers because of your own fear in your heart for your own behavior. I hate the part of being a mother.
You know the part having to hurt your children and watch them fall to make a point. No mother ever wants to hurt there children. I assure you now that I know I don't only have a family of five, you know a mother a father a sister a brother upstairs and well its just lil ole me standing down here alone. I know I have another five in me. Don't forget five pregnancies. One Son, One daughter. Two daughters, my daughters Irish twin, my brother again. Lets not forget my lil Jimmie Jane her father was a twin. A James Wayne and well his brothers name is John. That would be five babies times two with two sets of twins. Even then my five and those seven times two well you do the numbers.
So no I have no faith in this brother john or my kings today. I have no faith in mother natures son. I am sick and tired of waking up with the sun rise, most of the time just before dawn. Hell I'm a night owl by nature. Most nights I'm out like a light at times between five thirty and seven. I don't know if its my food or my fuel intake or just the burdens I carry inside me for that family upstairs but I'm tired of being tired and depending on society for anything down here. Everything you have on you when you except anything is a barder. It is always gonna cost you in some of way. If you just put anything down for a moment it can disappear in the flash of an eye. Always searching for something everyday out here and I hate it too. Everything just to get anywhere is a chore, just for the most basic needs, to even use the facilities its gonna cost you someway today. All this injustice on just the basics in life that others take for granted everyday. Complacency/ Laziness or fear. I'm burned out of sacrificing my time and my life away from family here on this planet for that family upstairs. So yeah I'm ready to get jacked up and shut this place down.
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