The Conductor

LMFAO! the conversation we were having was hilarious when my brother hit me with the fact that he's the conductor of this story line. I mean Their are allot of conductors in life now. Conductors of a train. Conductors of music. My brother let me know just why he always tinkered and tore things apart. He wanted to know how things work. A battery for example, you have a positive and a negative but to give it a charge you have to connect the two together in the middle to make it work. A battery. He let me know he was a conductor at that time. Conductor energetically for this planet. The last time JC walked this earth in human form things were different. I always how a Jewish man could have blond hair and blue eyes myself?

That was the picture I got in forth grade hanging above my bedroom door. The same year my brother died. I think I was about nine years old and that black things started crawling around in my room. Sue Sommers told me if you think a demon is there it is there. I didn't ask for them to be there. I mean they woke me up. I didn't wake them up. Oh hell yeah I was glad my mother made my sister move back home. I could finally get some sleep again. That was when those black things that woke me in the night. It finally dawned on me somewhere along that sequence of events that keeps coming back around in my life time, that all they do is shake my bed and wake me up.

They haven't hurt me yet. It was in Fall City and they woke me up twice and both times I didn't even have to turn around or even open my eyes to see them. I was still drinking and withdrawing off Paxil that was when it dawned on me on this journey that they woke me up two times right before my grandmother showed up. All I said to them when I opened my third eye in my mind was ICU and I rebuked them and they disappeared. That is when on this journey somewhere I started to clue in that these demons can't touch me and I never understood why?

Plus I clued in yesterday I think it was when I looked back at the Heavens Gates in Seattle. He let me know there is a backdoor to heaven. Two doors not just one, (you know the conductor theme) but this land with a entity and the fallen angel sit here and that is why my brother is on a white horse in a white robe holding my teddy bear with a staff in his right hand my brother is the keeper to heavens gates. That is why so much darkness and greed going down these highways, Sitting right at the gates of hell is heavens gates. That line is that close and well that is why the face of JC has changed in the face of this time.

This is why they eased me into the whole brother thing slowly at first. You know brothers and doors and somehow a brother close by just when I need him. Then he shows up in the park standing next to my brother jack with my brother Todd in a loin cloth and a rock on a rope. Then the whole sleeping with brother conversation. If you think I didn't heave when it finally sunk in that I slept with my brother Greg think again. To discover who really watches me and controls me this whole time, especially then is creepy right? I am so thankful I am not having to sleep with stranger's to feed myself or my children.

A battery is a conductor right? I had to purchase four C size batteries one day. The other day is a matter of fact. They were like $11.99 to $12.99. Didn't matter if I purchased in two's or fours pretty much the same price. I spy with my lil eye four Duracell for six ninety nine. Sweet! I get up to the check stand and he says something like twelve dollars or twelve ninety nine. Who the fuck cares anymore, just the irony in the answers alone is enough to kill me. Here we go another club another deal to hand over all of my information to save six bucks on four batteries. Why can't they just all be the smaller price and quality? Dollar store batteries are pretty much the same.

Truth be told nothing works without some kind of battery out here. These flashlights and vibrators that take three smaller batteries are any better think again. Smaller batteries and smaller parts. More things with all these lil components to make it work. I find the one double A works better than these three triple AAA's. Or in a flashlight two big double D's are allot stronger than two lil A's together or those two Big C's alone. Where is the quality when everything shakes lose or falls apart faster? How much are we paying for these batteries anyways? In our landfills and all these homeless people who use this stuff more?

A can Deet cost me ten dollars to poison me and my planet. Fuck I don't care if I am Mother Natures daughter or if my moods are causing the storms. All last summer I didn't get bit. These ants are rampant this summer. Not biting me, just everywhere. Yes it is nice to be in my smoking igloo in the forest. It's grey like my house was in North Bend. The one I painted with earth tone purple to brighten it up. I painted my bathrooms sea foam green with ivy on the edges and I hung my jewelry on a ivy shelf. I try to remember these flashbacks as I sit and watch the bugs crawl around me and not on me this time. MOFF YOU!  Yeah that is when I get the mildew and off smell together.

The injustice and irony in the poison and the cost of the poison kills me today. We can put corn in everything except its to expensive for gasoline. Michael's cousin ordered sun panels to heat his house and it got stuck because of the Tariff charge. Is anyone else getting my drift? The irony in our own complacency in the dependency on this system, our technology, healthcare, food, medicine, and insurance. Know why my phone is rarely charged because when you are out here their is nowhere to plug it in even. You can pay for internet and it not work but you are still expected to pay for it.

Hell it cost more to eat and recycle those water bottles. We are paying a fortune to recycle water today. You aren't allowed to gather water in buckets even when it rains? What next people? When are you going to let the money go and lift the dollar off of people and weather they are worthy to eat and have a roof over there head? I'm telling you right now, get on board or jump overboard I don't give a fuck anymore. It doesn't mean your gonna lose your wallet or shirt. Find your rock inside you. Find that rock for this planet. Find your rock for mankind. Hell I don't give a fuck what God you pray to. I don't give a fuck if you are a scientist or a energy person, its all the same to me anyways.

This planet feeds our children and it will forevermore. If you think I'm putting up with your whining blaming me anymore think again. Blocking me and my word with all these lil technicalities going off in your head because you are so stuck on one thing and you can't let it go to open your heart for your children or family the get the fuck off my rock. I'm not here to fight for the ones who don't want to be here, disappear, go home. I hate it when people grovel. I get it but don't come to me for answers when I have freely given them.