My grandmothers name was Foye Lily Bishop. She was one of the seven Bishops. She came from a Cherokee mother of twelve. Her Father a Navaho. I like that I don't know what this great grand daddy holds in his hands. Some things are always a nice surprise. Come on my Great Grand Daddy is a Dakota I never knew I had so this part will be a nice surprise.
My Great grandmothers name was Beatrice. Remember she burned her and her families birth certificates so they wouldn't be treated like dogs. Blood money anyways is coming up allot here. Even that Lawyer I saw Mr Bird was going to look into that mans finances for me to get his money. First of all he wanted to brush off that I was accused of being a prostitute on that lot. He just didn't want to deal with it apparently. I guess having that label on my head wasn't bad enough but when I read the implications in the news paper article that they aren't sure if it's a crime/rape because I walked away.
That was another man I met at that red rock. I had to accept everything that came my way I had to walk the path and accept the answers to getting the answers. Truth be told I never liked my name. I never really knew my true name anyways. I was named "Coleen but it was spelled Colleen. " It didn't matter how much I told people I don't care the text or the preference it doesn't matter to me. Its just a boring name anyways. My aunt who had meningitis called me "Cowmay". My X-mother in law called me Kalean. You know I got it I never cared what any one called me but today I do. Their will be no more sullying my name or my heart. None. Their will be no more twisting my words around. It said on Gary's chest to "To Thine Own Self Be True." It was written backwards and if you think these opposites in behavior isn't a clue then fuck you. I give it all back to you.
You may no more poison my name or my reputation and heart with your fears. If you don't want to hear the Truth then turn me off. I started this journey because I was willing. Willing to let it all go in so many ways you have no idea. The other part is Able. Able is all about if you can you do. If you have something more than someone, like more food and someone next to is starving share it. If a woman or child falls down because they are to weak and you are stronger help them pick them up. That is what Abel is all about. Those that can that do. I promise you God is looking at those that can that don't. All you corporations that think that when this federal take over goes down if you think you are untouchable;e think again. They will come in and take over. They won't even need your money. It wont matter. They will take whatever they need and leave the rest behind they don't care who you are.
Growing up I always asked my grandmother questions. Always something about the difference in generations and what she didn't have then that she has now. Dirt floors for her growing up and washing the clothes on a rock. Then washboards and machines to wring them out. Then toilets to wash out those diapers. Even as a child I was aware of how much work that was for a mother back then. Chasing chickens and cutting heads off for her children.
When I was in third grade I lived in a house on Ross Street. I had a cowboy standing in my room always whittling a piece of wood. I slept with my sister allot still. What you don't know is my grandfathers name is Neil Nevell, he was a tall blond haired blue eyed cowboy. Even as a child I always saw the twinkle in his eye for me. He told me I reminded him of his oldest daughter Doris the other Foye in my family. He said you are just so tiny always like a lil Cupie doll.
My grand daddy married a Cherokee of 12 with seven Bishops. I might not know about all of his brothers and sisters. I met some of them. My grand daddy married my grandmother and when he met her he liked her fire too. She wore pants, road horses and played basketball. However I realized even back then my grand mother always wanted to be noticed. Always quiet. Most of the time when she spoke she was cut off or no one heard her words either. I did however.
My grandfather expected her to wear skirts and dresses why she took care of the children. Kept the house, worked and prepared the food. She couldn't wear make up either. My grandmother was short my grandfather was I think six foot one. He was the only tall one on this side. My grandma was old fashioned. She stood by her man no matter what. At all cost. Quite frankly I wouldn't want to be the one to sit at that table and tell my daughter its her job. I wonder with being who my family is and knowing we are filters. Actually we all are filters. We are all filters for God and this planet and we chose to take the poison on in our own way this time.
My family just made my tolerance for pain high along with the drugs. Trust me my whole life I have walked through pain in one form or another and so has my family before me. Whether you choose to believe it poison in our hearts in actions in words that is untrue is poison. No matter what you feed yourself everyday to get through I do not care. I'm done with the excuses for the bad behavior everywhere. I have given you answers and well if my X chooses not to listen to me one last time that is his choice not mine. I assure you I gave him my writing. His labels and lies and poison for his own ego and behavior all so he can poison my children against me is his problem now.
If his ego is so big not to listen to my words when this hits I no that even if he is the Cane in this Able line I did everything I could do on this journey and I have told him the truth all the way. He can go to heaven do the clearing like I did and it will hurt. Love hurts and getting answers hurts. Fate is a hard pill to swallow I understand this. He is the epitomy of Sins of the Father. I know longer care what his excuses are for his behavior. I know longer care if it is that dark energy. I told his parents in the beginning even when I didn't understand. I don't care what it takes grab him by the throat and pull him out of the closet. I told his own father this.
I even said if you can't do it get Steve and if you are to weak of a father to kick your son in the ribs then you get Steve his brother to do it. I am done. I have had enough dislocated ribs in my life because of him not taking any responsibility. I would not want to be him stand before God after he has been given at least five chances to look at me. He will feel all of the pain of what I went through for him and my children I promise him that. He better remember about my four sisters. Those two mothers and my father my brother. I kept telling God he will get this. Please God he will get this. Fucking ego thinking he had the right to punish me anyways. You have no idea what I went through all those years. The sabotage and ego.
That part when I spoke about me knowing how to work on cars. My new car for three weeks Greg kept changing the oil. By the third week I looked in the bag and I saw oil but no filter. So I asked Greg where the filter was? He told me "Oh you don't need to change the filter every time you change the oil." He would not listen to me when I explained logic. "Greg you can not pour dirty oil through a clean filter it dirty's the oil and engine again." He didn't believe me. I had to ask his friends in front of him if this was the case? All four of them looked at him and said of course. I never mentioned it again thinking he was smart enough to get the clue. Ego.
My grandfather could never understand why my tiny grandmother gained so much weight? You try carrying those four close to your heart spiritually. My grandmothers side of the family always looked like birds. Eagles and Hawks. My grandfather turned my grandmother from a Hawk to a bear. Those burdens she carried, fuck you Satan.
As a child my favorite thing was the old suit case full of old photos. My grandmothers perfume was Rose. I remember when I was a lil girl "I always said I will name my daughter Rose." As a lil girl I talked to my grandma about her name Lilly. I thought it was old fashioned at the time. Then on this journey around Easter time I learned something about JC's flower being a Lily. It was also Easter time when it was on the news about a couple who's last name was Easter set up someone else on the school board or something like that with drugs in her car. This was also around the time when a couple opened a clam shell and found purple pearls.
My grandmother used to do this lil dance. She'd stand up and wiggle her great big booty butt. So yeah my grandmothers name is "Red Rock Lily Rose."
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