You know Satan as much as I hate this life. I am done, I am throwing in the towel. I mean why the fuck am I out here doing this and it isn't even my burden to carry on my own. I'm just done. It is amazing how some days things work out. I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere in a motel and they gave me my internet for free today. This will be pretty much my last day to post and vent my rage on all this bullshit injustice in pretty much everything IC things just don't add up. In the last month or so some things have caught my eye and it just keeps spiraling in my head. Remember brother my family is just catching me up and well God Dammit if I'm not a quick learner after all.
Shall we tell the good people of my nation just where the Hippocratic Oath that doctors originally took came from. His name was Hippocrates he was called the Father of Western culture. Historically our physicians took this oath to treat patients. It was a widely known Greek text for new physician's to swear be a number of healing gods to uphold specific ethical standards. Interesting how our histories cultures are based on other histories of other cultures. I mean what physician today would ever believe that their history was based on a myth right? Wow it amazes me that back then our practitioners had some kind of spiritual belief and now it is stripped away based solely on science. Science learned from the atoms of this planet. We carry it through generations inside us every time we come back. That is part of our essence from upstairs. Energy is energy no matter what label you place on it.
A Different Kind of Oaths (you tube)
Our lawyers greatest reputation is his greatest asset. Sometimes lawyers lose and there are no tools available to eradicate the impending loss. The only way a lawyer can do anything possible to win a case for his client is by manipulating tools available to him. A lawyer can fudge or lie about the facts in a case or the law in order to help his client.
You know as well as I do Satan that most of these people that become physicians and lawyers do it to help someone else. Well they start out that way. Truth be told I have heard lawyers and judges say just trying to work or defend someone in this system of all this justice is a huge loop hole of injustice that doesn't add up. Some try to be honorable and represent and they just can't hardly move anymore.
My own doctor wanted to write me a prescription for a muscle relaxer to take at night. You know one that actually does it's job not one of the other synthetic's that don't. Her hands were tied she had to put a five day hold on a prescription that I needed that day because of the insurance company guidelines. I have had a pain pill prescription filled at the same place like three in about eight months, I go to get it refilled after I left the office and the pharmacist assistant has me wait to look me up to see if I can get it filled. I about jumped over that mother fucking counter and I said to her "if my doctor writes me a prescription you better damn well fill it. It is the insurance companies job to fill it. It is not the insurance companies job to tell my doctor how to treat me her patient."
These doctors are told they will get paid a hundred bucks to fill out all this state questionnaire paperwork. They keep bouncing it back if one I is not dotted and they don't get paid. They are burying my doctors who are so confused and just trying to do there job under all this paperwork. Sound familiar? Just like a lawyer.
I begged my doctors to get the guidelines changed on my Imitrex. I even said look that stuff is like gold to me. I just want to function and take care of my family, I don't want all these other pills. They wouldn't do it. I even got into a program to get it covered from a pharmaceutical company for free for a year and another doctors office fucked that up. Even though I took the prescription to a pharmacist they billed the company who made it and she wouldn't give me the prescription. Since when does a nurse or doctor get to decide where or how I get my prescription filled with a perfectly legal program actually provided by the pharmacy company to help me? All of this bullshit of different professions crossing lines that just isn't there place. We just wonder why people take matters in their own hands.
I had two surgeries back to back in a six week period with a migraine the whole time.
Afterwards I took four months off and I took two more just to see how I would feel. I literally felt and saw in my mind a huge lion head that roared. I checked myself into a rehab to gain some tools on how to handle this and instead I have my husband lying, and leaving people to assume his truth of what was happening to me. This was while he was signing my life and my business over to Mary Stone after 12 years of marriage and never dropping the ball. I even got a threatening letter from him while I was in there and truth be told I never dropped the ball on my children not one God Damned time. I even showed up at the office the same night of my fathers funeral to work on the trim because Greg told me I had to do my part. What about the four thousand I got from my father that I paid into that business when he dropped the ball. What about all the leg work with two babies in tow to find a location, sign a lease, work with the city on everything. I got credit or acknowledgement for nothing.
Let's not even get into the illegal billing my divorce lawyer pulled on me after that? To get a divorce in this country that is already rigged to create stress and set up to make people fail? That one years worth of paperwork to get a divorce is a numbers game set up to be spread out over a year through the court system. If it wasn't for Mary Stone being involved in my divorce me and Greg's divorce could of been settled in just a couple of months. Hell I didn't care if he lived in the third section of that house just so he could stay close to our children.
He had a bedroom, a full furnished living room and his own bathroom. We could of shared the kitchen and my girls could of ran back and forth but his ego wouldn't let him do that. We even made an agreement that he would read a story to the children before bed to help me out and he showed up one time.
This truly is why I will never get married again. I have no desire. Marriage becomes about the documentation and state standards and guidelines for a worthless piece of paper to tell me how to leave someone and just how much it is gonna cost me. I have no idea how many men wanted to marry me? Give it a lil while and you will see someone's true colors. When Greg asked me we were at a friends cabin. Greg can cook he doesn't very often but yes he can cook. He made steak and the works, we are sitting at the table and I am clueless. I have on a big Victoria's Secret mans shirt, my hair in a pony O and he drops the bomb. I got up from the table and went and laid on the couch. I placed my arm across my eyes and I did not move.
I was young, I had a new car by the time I was nineteen. A beautiful apartment and I had already managed a salon. So for him to ask me to quit my life and put it on hold while he does four more years of college was a big commitment. I asked him and just when do you expect this wedding to take place? He said four. I said two, you want me to pack up my life for you I'm not working my ass off somewhere else for someone else without that ring. That was our agreement. I think for some reason Greg felt guilty because I aborted our first son. He was with me all the way and I always thought that Greg was a kind and caring person. His family was hard workers and they both started from nothing. Even though they didn't like their jobs they had integrity in all things they did, except for the mother of the only grandchildren in both sides of his family.
I was not trapping a man to me for a child. Who pays but the child. I was not going to interfere with his future and I was not using my mother for back up. She already destroyed three lives and she wasn't getting one of mine. That is called redemption people. The choices we make and why we make them.
No comments:
Post a Comment