I'm Not Leaving

I'm Not Leaving/UK
It's been a miserable few days. Yet when isn't it anymore? I just don't have it in me to keep moving through the pain anymore. I don't have it in me to be a full time secretary keeping track of all these appointments and the disappointing transportation system from hell to get anywhere. My body is weak and tired. Lucky for me I lose my muscle mass fast but I re-gain it quickly.

Let It Ride/BG
I know in my heart I have a war to fight physically coming up but I just don't give a flying flock anymore. This Monopoly Game is the joke. Go back to start, pay a fine, go to jail all the while they use my body to pay their bills while I can't pay mine? Slavery all over this rock I see, and the clothing industry and mark up for a label that was created by slaves in other countries. Yup so it seems we got a whole lot of bling in this United States with very little thought for this rock. All to feed the wrong stock and ego. You want to be a star today get your own reality show. Become famous then go around and keep creating more labels under one star going in my landfills.

That's When You Know It's Over/LB
Truth is I know it's my blood they are going to want from me. Not one more dot out of my veins to feed this rock. God is my vain. My vein. My pain is His pain and that doesn't make me happy. Not one freckle, not one dot, not one drop and not one tiny hair off my babies head. Not from me or mine you don't anymore. If you want this mothers blood it will stay in my body and you may have my words of Truth to heal. My family has fed you, and this rock all the while you are the game using my T.O.L. and my essence to feed this rock from one tiny location on this rock. I am angry that I carry every curse in this one tiny body. The curse of the wrong Better Business Bureau we report to and well it's all just a system to make you feel like your reporting to something.

I'm Your Boogie Man/K.C. And The Sunshine Band
Blind eye of justice is gonna come back around and bite you in the ass. You remember Isaac Newton and that apple? From the start I was wondering what's up with all these apples? Now I know I'm the apple of Gods eye. I used to make them and hand them out to everyone I knew growing up. Regardless of what you think of my mother, aside from her outburst and spirals, she was a good mother. I mean she is clearly a beasty in just the way she did feed me and handle me. Both my sister and my mother, when I climbed into bed with one or the other. Both of them would grab me and pull me in. I'd have to wait until they fell asleep to escape.

Like Jesus Does/EC
Watching Isaac Newton this morning it finally dawned on me. Zion, Zionist, Zionism and the Book Of Danielle. Funny thing is I understand his numbers. The numbers 2060? I have two, to take out those sixes. That is a Trinity inside twice over, and well those two zero's? My two moons sunny side up. Yup that big I and that apple has been with me since the beginning along with the flock of angels that carried me through. Hey all I had was the Angels 101 book. I knew nothing about no 3, 6, or 9's. I figured out that motel and all that weird stuff that happened right behind Edgewick INN? So my mother is the Zina for Zion that first religion. She hated her name growing up and now she'll like her name.

Jesus Take The Wheel/
Truth is no one is wrong, and no one is right in religion. They cut out half the heart from the start. Your feeding the wrong pride if you think it is only you. You can't have family with honoring only you inside your heart. Why do people like to eat alone? Must be hiding something? The human race is functioning on half a heart. Our cosmic side of us, that lights our soul is God, and he gave us His son in His Making. We're the energy from the Cosmo's. Picture a tiny dot of light. One tiny Atom inside you that energizes you is God's Atom/Adam. Add a little love, a little mother and with these two energies of light you got God. You got a twofer this time people.

Days OF Gold/JO
I kept seeing gravity when I looked at one mans shoulders. Whats up with the saggy shoulders in that man? Then I started to realize I've been seeing quite allot of saggy shoulders over the years. Who do you think controls the gravity on this rock? Who is the gravity? Who created the gravity? God. When God created life, he created Freya his wife. His mate in all walks of life to create life in all forms. God is energy and light, neither male nor female, yet he is the alpha and the omega. Duality. Which turns out is I. I asked God last night why? Why would I choose to come back and marry Cain? Then the answer came to me. I got two very good reason. My rock and my light. The two very best parts of my beating heart. I want so badly to tell them how they really got their names? How far back their names go through history. That it's the women this time. These young ladies. These twelve, my two little monkies with that ring of fire belong to me and mine. That seven and three do not belong to you. They belong to Him.

Raymond/BE
To discover all those ant's I had to fight since our first apartment in Sunnyvale California? Those nine ant hills on my way to work I'd see every morning when we only had one car to commute to work I was pregnant with Alex? An ant can lift half her weight and well I am the aunt, the mother and the wife. You got a problem with that then get the flock off my rock, my mood today is touchy at best.

Muckalee Creek Water/LB
Then I heard it the verse the words in this verse that Newton connected with the most in revelations. In my family tree of life it is all relative. Don't forget to read Revelations 12 first about the dragon. Revelations 13:14
"The woman was given two wings of a great eagle (my angel tattoo on my right shoulder transformed), so that she may fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care of for a time, times and a half a time, out of the serpents reach." I said to Michael last night. "I knew I was being watched and that is why I chose to stay in the open as much as possible. To be seen out in the open by many people is safer than staying hidden. I did not bother anyone or approach anyone except that one time to find out the rules and policies. Since when is that illegal?

Sara/Fleetwood Mac
Any excuse. It was 3:16 a.m when I sat down with cash to order a cinnamon role and coffee and told if I did not leave or if I caused a scene they would call the police. I did what was asked. Stepped out and whispered a prayer and they still called the police. A place I have worked at and let my manager know about the drug dealing and what I knew. I was not protected anymore. I was a liability and all I did was speak the Truth. It is not my problem if I'm the White Horse. It is not my issue that I'm the Patriarch of this rock. Yeah it sunk in all those Pat's and Patricia's in my life.

Dirt Road Anthem/BG
Wow! Yeah been there done that already. I mean where did I go to get fed? Mt. Si. even after I was unjustly eighty sixed off the lot the only place that my EBT card worked. Without me asking, food showed up. It was incredible.

JCJD/KU
I was wondering in the beginning what does my size have to do with this? Why does everything seem to focus on my small stature? Something I knew but I didn't let it get me way. I mean I never really noticed, because silly me to expect the human race to be able to behave. You know for such an advanced society we are pretty violent and out of control. I point my finger all the way up the line to congress and that pentagon lurking behind that white house. That boys club I want it gone. Get rid of this and well the human race can get rid of the pollution inside our hearts bodies and mind. These assholes are not the Shepherd they are preventing ascension naturally to keep feeding the machine by creating all these bills on humanity. To get your claws in and always keep you owing, needing and wanting. Just like cable T.V. This pisses me off.

I Started A Fire/Ash
Before I go any further this song and the band name member caught my eye. Metallica/King Nothing and one of the band members name? Lars Uhlrich. I slept on a coat from Australia that said on the label "Zero King." He doesn't even know that he is the King of this Rock. Clueless with that big egg head he proudly sports. As he should. I'm still very jaded about this guy. I'm very angry at God still about this man. I'm even more angry that I didn't know I married the beast and he is the reason for his two lost mothers. He is the reason for those two bouts of cancer and 9/11. He is the cause for all this depression in our bodies and the ground.

Poems, Prayers and Promises/JD
Flock you God. All this two and half shit. I'm five foot two point five? Two times two and half and Isaac Newton? Is me? You know when I walked away from Kyle 4/2/2016? All of a sudden my mind drew a blank on my questions I wanted to ask? Why disrupt another human beings life now? Why tear him apart before I have too? Faith is a hard pill to swallow.

Brick House/TC
I Do It For You/BA
Revelations 13:17
"Then the dragon was enraged at the woman, went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring. (this rock and God's flock)Those who keep God's command and hold fast their testimony about Jesus(healthy love in your heart)." What Michael's demon said to me that night when I called Michael out on his shit? "How many days Michael? You left me to take the heat with your daughter once again, to cover your lies just like all the other men in my life?' The cowardly lions. Taking the easy way out. No honor. What do you teach your daughters when their own father treats their own mother like this? What do you teach your daughter when you fathers mistreat and have unrealistic expectations on the disrespect that you serve up to these mothers that you brought into their lives? All to cook and clean for you? Help you do the part you don't want to do yourself? No, men with this attitude and behavior have no honor.

Somewhere On A Beach/DB
Now I got my babies running free out there clueless at what they have coming for them. I got a demon sick fuck looking for my babies. It seems he wants to cut off my children's heads and mail them to me in a box. All this head cutting off God? All throughout history? When I read what they did to John The Baptist, the creator of the Lords prayer whom baptized JC? Yeah it's a bit close discovering history wants to repeat itself on my babies? I want the Gregorian to fall out of the sky. That tenth planet that I'm thinking God wants out of the universe. Hard to tell with God being the creation of all including Cain. I'm thinking he's gonna turn them against each other. Drown the mother fuckers.

Take It Way/Eagles
All For You/Sister Hazel
Yeah God the rewards in this family are just bountiful. Like I said in the beginning "first they pull the food, then the roof." Well they not only poisoned the food and garden from the inside long ago, they are here to take this rock. God did not create Genocide it is you the human race allowing the money and the wrong profit to rule this rock. Dumbshits. How you could not of figured out that our garden is our most precious commodity, I will never know?

Leather And Lace/SN
No better way to feed your children and another human being than that garden. It feeds you Love in more ways than one. I explained last night to Michael. It was Freya in the beginning that was confusing? I mean why am I doing a fertility Goddess ritual in the first place? I only have two daughters. Then I accepted Freya as one of my guides. I put my Faith and trust in her. Go through any open door? Have Faith at what is on the other side? Part of being raped is because I represent the planet, this Tree Of Life that you coiled and turned a blind eye to. No better way than to shut another human being down then to keep you hurting and suffering in your T.O.L.

What If's/Kane Brown
I did this for my two babies and that ring of fire. That seven and three. You see the trinity in the three daddies and then the fourth to shut the door on this shit is this mother. Number four. It was after I was raped. I was calm the whole time. My whole life I handle emergencies calmly until I can later analyze the Truth behind it, then I lose my shit. As the Truth sinks deeper and deeper in to the reason for all this depression is my X's demon. The 666 using the Hell Care System to take us out. How come other countries can do this and we couldn't?

Against The Wind/BS&TSBB
Is it because of the way you assholes decided the value system on the Indigents you stole from in all walks of life through the centuries? Yeah I want my Big Daddy's reservation. I'm sick of the box God. Let Hope out of the box God, even if it's just my words of Truth today that can heal. You literally followed the same patterns all these centuries throughout time. We didn't used to pay for our homes until you middle men came along. The same fight with the same Pharaoh's today, all over that same Gold Coin. Money vs. mankind because of a machine that all of you over the globe couldn't figure out that it is that banking system and machine controlling everything.

Gonna/BS
You in Congress can't follow all these Corporation's affiliate's and buy outs, yet you expect what you label as insanity to be able to even walk through all your bullshit of a Hell Care System? That is so spread thin with county lines adding the fines and changing the names constantly. They already changed the standard on pain. On chronic pain. They started the experiment and set the guide lines way low for these people to get any help.

City Of New Orleans/JD
They are lying and not listening to the people that hurt in their personal opinions on pain. You allowed in Congress on the top to do this from the bottom up to set the standard on a group of people whom can't speak for themselves. What is wrong with you greedy heartless fucks? You've seen this same thing over and over throughout history. I'm here to tell you, these people aren't insane, you are. You are if you think My Daddy is gonna let you ever get away with this. Wipe out "His Favorite Mistake" ever created?

Give A Little Bit/The Goo Goo Dolls
Me. Yup. I love that part the best of all. I love being a beasty best of all. It is my beasty side that is the very best part of me. All the way down to that Earthworm that feeds the soil and that weed plant that you in this system wiped out of my gardens long ago. You eroded the most important part to feed your children, the soil. All for your roundup? Nope that's the wrong kind of hoe down for my garden. That's the wrong roundup. I like my family's idea of a roundup better than yours. A little demon wrangling, my family's way. A little music, I get funky and crack that whip to get you back in line.

You Don't Mess Around With Jim/JC
I call BULLSHIT on this system. I gotta a seventeen for you. I got a seven with a black ten back. Take your very best shot bitch. I'm ready to dance. You don't like it, you can DEET ME. We'll see how well that works for you. Whatever I got inside me? Whatever you choose? You know do unto me, I do unto you, three times over and over. I'm done. This mother wants the eye of the storm to shut this rock down. Drop that Gregorian curse out of the sky then get it the flock off my rock.

Night Moves/BS&TSBB
Carry On Wayward Son/Kansas
I said to M. last night when he was actually an open vessel and not trying to cut me off with something I already know. Let's just say it didn't go well with me and Keith the other night. I lost it. Keith is one of my most favorite people. He is an eagle eye all the way. I laughed inside when he told me his planet is Pluto then I saw on Santa Clarita Diet, on the kids shirt leave Pluto alone. He wouldn't let me speak. When I tried I had to keep stopping and saying let me finish Keith. Over and over by 11:15 p.m. I turned into 'Old Yeller" I did not used to be a yeller, but I am now when someone pisses me off. Micheal said, when I heard you with the gardener, I knew it wasn't going to be good.

Round Here Buzz/EC
I said I am so tired of the bullshit behavior of blame. Then they use a swear word as an excuse to try and walk away. Control my behavior after all the injustice you have doled out to me and mine?Then you have the gull to tell me how to behave in my anger over all this? Don't bring the bullshit to my door nor garden anymore. You gotta a problem telling you the Truth about my life and putting it all on the line for you? To behave like this anytime of day is not justified. Your behavior in this system is not justified. Their is no justification for any of what I have walked through in my life, nor the last two and half years of walking through this system. The BULLSHIT I have walked through is absurd. I'm angry all the way up that line just trying to get to the A.G. the secretary wanted to send me to another box.

Hold My Head/The New Rivals
I have realized that anytime I have asked someone for anything this last week I can't get anything. I have gotten nothing I have ever asked of another person as far as help all week long. It is absurd. People that say they are going to show, have called and canceled because it's a ucky day outside. Dave wonders why he's single? He actually said "hey you can come over here" Just hop on the bus Gus. He has the car, I have the bad back, I'm in pain just wanting out of the box and I realized it was about 1 year ago that he did the same thing? Leaving me to come to him in a storm, while he sat inside and kept switching locations on me. I texted him today and I said just that to him. Cowards, pussy's. Men are pussy's,. M. tried to show sympathy and I said, "how are you any different? How many storms have you left me in, because you don't want to go outside in the rain? We live in the Pacific Northwest. This is reality. Life happens everyday, not just while your at work." He's no longer speaking to me.

Tiny Dancer/EJ
I'm not walking through no more storms to get to anyone anymore. I realized just what I have put my body through with this backpack and stomping through this system in all these storms? It's a scam and a numbers game designed to make you fail.  People offer to give me a ride, yet when I need it, they all of sudden have better things or other things to do. Then they show up when they feel like it and leave me hanging. I'm tired of when I am speaking all the bells and whistles on the phone's. All these interruption's because no one can turn it off and take the time to just listen. Their time is always more valuable than mine, their pain is always more than mine, their need always out weighs my need. I am unworthy you say? I said to Michael last night I didn't understand in the beginning that Freya is not just the fertility Goddess of children. She is the Earthworm that feeds the soil. I wasn't even aware that it was a Trident that I stuck in her green worm cartoon tail. I told Michael I didn't hurt her I just stuck the Trident in her tail and told her to stay their until I know what to do with her. You see Michael the fertility Goddess Freya feeds all life on this rock. The Holy Spirit is the represent of the female counterpart of life is this rock.

Your Words/Dog Nasty
Mother Earth feeds you life. That soil you poisoned feeds you life. That circle of life from all walks of life she feeds and well you as in the human race have eroded her away. That trinity that God gave you in all walks of life. Take that peace sign if it helps you to see a three and a four? It is a circle with one prong up and three prongs down. God is the Atom. God is the Beast. God is the Creation.

Take It To The Limit/Eagles
God is the energy that feeds this Rock life. Three prongs down going into this rock that feed it life is this mother, and my two daughters. We three are the perfect storm. Yet we are not complete, we are just the beginning of any trinity you choose. The Sun, The Moon and planet earth. God. The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Any way you shake a stick at it people it is all God. Now if you got a problem with that regardless of what you believe about my crazy mother, she is an opposite that carried inside her three royal children.

Pulling Push Ups/CH
It horrifies me too, but when you know the Truth of her life it makes sense. That adversity God has walked me through my whole life to get me here today. I have a Trinity on this ground before. I have my sister and my mother whom came before me. My two Set in Stone in my story book life. My two Ruby's. My two Lions. I kid you not looking back the storms between us three? Oh my God and the drowning's? My final drowning on my cursed life I lived? The fourth "The Toilet Bowl." To think at one years old I was in the paper holding a big blown up fish. "One year old Colleen Mulligan caught a big fish."

Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
My childhood song that I gave to Gwen back then. How much longer God?

Danny's Song/Loggins and Messina