Kicked To The Curb

Went and took a break the music playing,
Trying Not To Love You by Nickelback
Paralyze by Finger 11
The Reason Hoopstank
Over and Over by 3 Days Grace

First one speaks volumes. The quarrel and fight I carry inside me each day trying not to love you.
Paralyze, no shit I know just how you feel I've had a few heart stopping moments in the last two years. I mean who really knew there was anything such as me? I mean come on get the flying flock out of town. Get me the flock off this rock. You bet your sweet shit I say Beam me up Scotty.
Ground zero and Ni Eve doesn't even begin to describe this journey. Right from the start I took my Q's from humanity, starting with Family, Brothers, Sisters, Lakota, ISIS, Freya, infertility, ? I mean you'd say Jesus Christ get me off this rock too. I'm going to chase you, I'm going to hunt you. I don't care if your the black snake. I don't care if your my brother.

The Reason Hoopstank
You bet your sweet ass Hoopstank. I mean just as I said get this mother nature shit over with and as soon as my eyes laid up on him. Good or bad this is not good. Hell no I didn't want to see any of that man. Nope I don't care if he's the Father, the Sun, the Universe. Nope. Then Robin Williams Chimes in and I'm down on my knees on red rock road crying and wailing. Robin hit the nail on the head right then. He's going to have the last laugh. I choked with laughter on my own tears.

Then I got real mad. No matter how hard I tried I told him. "Oh know you don't, you can keep your dimensions. Oh no you don't, I don't want your dimensions inside of me. Not after this load of shit you dropped on me. No I don't care how humanely he has been. I mean God ain't nothing if not humane.

Then the song Over and Over, by 3 Day's Grace. My God really then a couple days later he says it, "the dimensions are inside you and I thought I had seen the last of the crazy dream". You know the ending and the irony, the timing. Yeah ground zero. Yup that about describes it. Parallel universe pops into my head right now. I mean my God Really?

Then Bring Me To Life by Evanescence, Like this doesn't speak volumes. Just where have I said this once before? Then to discover when I got a concussion at the age of two when I woke up it was my brothers face I saw first, standing over me looking down.

With Arms Wide Open by Creed.
Used to be my favorite song. Now seeing it from a bigger picture it speaks volumes. How God and that family of angels speaks to you through music and song your whole life, but yes, there are days with that man upstairs I aint happy for one God minute either

Photograph By Nickelback

Another word popped in my head the other day Ion, Ionic, and Photonic, molecule. I don't know with all these apples Adam's. and atoms. Earth Science, Science Fiction, Mythology, Theology, Anna, Bridal shows I don't watch, sure have shown me allot of what I was already seeing. I mean first the Name Abe and Rose. Moving into a orphanage, Family comes first once again. Mothers and sisters. Over and over upstairs and downstairs.

Whoopi Goldberg from Ghost can have her job back. God you can have back your bloody tear drop and all your atoms, Adams and keep your dimensions. I don't want your dimensions inside me even if your God. Not that way that's for sure.  I don't care nothing about no family jewels, upstairs and downstairs. Universal thought process and discovering they are not very happy about breaking all this universal law. Who even knew there was such a thing?

Chalk Outline by 3 Days Grace

You bet your sweet ass I was happy to be ostracized. Oh yeah I couldn't explain any of this shit. Not without this journal. Close your fucking doors and hide your mirrors I don't wanna know either. A lawyer tells me Colleen follow the system and their ain't nothing I don't like than people watching and observing humanities behaviors from all walks of life. I had to look up Lakota for Christ Sakes and the twin thing. I did not know nothing about no twins nothing. Ground zero and a book of angels is all I had to go on.

Anthem Of The Angels by Breaking Benjamin

Then Abe Lincoln, Mary Todd and they have a son named Todd. Todd Road, Betsy Ross and that flag, white dresses? Whats with all the white dresses? Whats up with the white beasties for animal guides? Whats up with all these puritans, deciding for God and his family what our agreement was and what he would label a pure heart? I mean God all these rules on God and his love is so locked in and we make a big profit off that and his son/Sun and Mother Nature, Mother Mary, Mary Stone, Eve, Sara, Kiley, Kai. Kyle get me the flock off this rock.

Breaking Inside by Shinedown
I mean Mother Mary Mother Nature Eve the garden and the seed like that's not enough? Wendy the weather, the prides all those prides and country prides, red rocks and I hate red onions. They are the worst onion of all. Can't get the taste off anything, They are a, vial and they make me puke and cry. When cooked they turn to slime. Ish. I hate slimy things.

Mushrooms, Olive's and Anchovies. Oh Yuck. Seafood, Clam's and Oysters oh so fishy oh so slimy. Picture what my true scent would be if I could take off my face mask of pain I fight daily, I mean clear out my sinuses building up mucus all these years has definitely dulled my senses. Then the most basic healthcare system does not cover a sinus rinse with a antibiotic. I mean just look at all these face masks you don't see. Then the sudafed addiction. Legal and illegal. Locked up too.

The S shape of the spine, holds our emotions and effects our energy heart and souls. All to squander money in a healthcare system they created.

I Don't Care by Apocalyptic

I have prayed to the porcelain God, I have sat upon that white throne a few times. Even said a few" oh shit prayers, hanging by the seat of my pants. After awhile, I actually said out loud ,"oh hell God, you know I ain't going to no church to find you'. Then to find out that it's about the poison inside causing all this disconnect inside and out. My God is right. I don't care. Let's just blow this popsicle stand. To discover my prayers are promises to come. Right down to the prayer of peace. All these numbers, all these angels, all these guides. Man, woman or beast is my families tree of light. I assure you that family understands the context and the intent of your words and prayers.

Epiphany by Staind
You were a star before you came to be here. My other epiphany that family wanted these doors closed because they didn't want outside influence. They know what is in your heart. They know who you really are and who your true spirit really is inside. I laughed the last night when it dawned on me. Evolution. Squandering humanities evolution for profit and gain is evol and it's insane. The true intent, the action taken, the cause and effect on humanity?
Epiphany vs. Eternity.
Live in Epiphany on this side forevermore or eternity on the other side of the door?  Free will, I will, Thy Will is His Will.
I will not stand for mankind to be kicked to the curb. Why you ask? It's inhumane unloving and unkind. It's the other Big A. Abuse of humanity for loss or gain is a crime.