Human

Human/CP
The deeper I go into this family tree of life? Not knowing which way do I go? My Benevolent Belinda's house? That dark grey house on Lilac street? The curse of the chamber pot made? The deep sleep, the dreams, the times when we can't sleep, the pattern in my family tree on both sides?

Need You Now/LA
Whom her father represents in my family? The depression and she wasn't depressed. Just because our parents have a demon inside their hearts, it doesn't mean we are them or that we become them. It means we carry the burden of the secrets inside our hearts even if we don't understand why? No matter what adversity, what a human being is capable of to keep going? Why we are here standing in the center of all this insanity? This is between Job and Satan.

Over You/ML
My first prayer when I was in the ninth grade, and I hit the wall, with my arms out to my side's I screamed up at God, "why God? Why did you place me here in the center of all this insanity?" I fell to my knee's, I placed my arms across my chest. I sat there and cried. All I wanted was a normal mother. A normal life, without it always being something to block my path. Get me out of this box. This was why I wanted to go live with my father. I never said anything to her about my father, but it was the age and the timing?

She Will Be Loved/M5
My sister left about this age. I wanted my turn to escape and I didn't care how? I'd cook and clean. I'd do his laundry. I'd take care of my father just like Charm did after her mother left her and her father. I didn't care if I became a Cinderella daughter. My father didn't belittle me and put me down. Not an unkind word. My father I could trust to never lay a hand on me no matter what. I just wanted to spread my wings and fly, without all the fears of my brothers death hanging over my mothers head, every time I stepped out that door. I wanted away from all her spite. All her rage. All her belittling she would do to someone else if she didn't get her way. Then she'd make them pay. Boy did my mother not let anything go in the public eye and behind the scenes her spirals usually lasted about three weeks of slamming doors and put downs. Making your life a living hell. Reel in cast out. The highs and lows of the blame game going on inside her heart.

Like I'm Gonna Lose You/JT
The depression of the fig tree? The one I never knew about, hanging over my bed and on each side I had two old fashioned blue lanterns. A green and blue butter fly quilt that my mother gave me just before I learned that after all these years of hearing you got to do your part? All these years of carrying the heavy load?Taking all the blame? Making our future gifts in middle of the night. A night owl doesn't even describe how little sleep I need to keep going.

Blown Away/CU
Baking zucchini bread, making homemade candy, Kahlua and putting together gift baskets always just ahead I moved through the night. I sewed on my time down usually a gift for someone else. All the party planning, doing every thing myself for each gathering to make it cheaper. It wasn't until after this that I had just put together another gathering. Greg comes walking in the door late as usual like he's the life of the party. He'd check himself in the mirror. Then I'd be left with the clean up. To hear after two businesses, my house, my children, all this scrimping and saving to make things cheaper to carry my load to do my part to build what?

Back To December/TS
He never had any plan of having a future with me. It was all a lie it was all a scam. It was like Pam said in the beginning 'you can walk into a room looking hot and he doesn't even say a word. He takes you for granted." I thought at the time it was about my looks. I didn't need to be told I looked good. I wasn't like that. I knew I was fortunate. High metabolism and all.

Don't Speak/ND
Pam was right however, he did take me for granted. It was about my heart? I married a man with no heart. He didn't have a low self esteem, when I stood there with his father in the middle of a fixer upper, two children later I find out why Greg can't swing a hammer? After finding out he doesn't know how to balance a bank account? Why he knows nothing about insurance why and how anything works? How much stuff really cost? The reality and the truth of what things in life cost every day? Greg had no concept of anything every step of the way. I'd discover something big like this after I'd just make a major financial commitment with this man? Greg had a smart woman with allot of energy. Greg had a woman who was the jack of all trades and could pick up and learn anything quickly. Especially how to do it myself.

Making Memories Of Us/KU
I liked doing things myself. I liked working with my hands. I liked having a busy day's with the family. That is what I couldn't figure out was just this, as long as I was doing something to make something cheaper a gift, a project in the house, as long as I was moving and doing my part he wouldn't bother me, but if I tried to just sit down, shut down, go to the gym something for myself, it was always an issue. My time and money. I wasn't allowed to do anything for myself not without a sit down and whether I was worthy to even get a haircut.

Temporary Home/CU
He'd nit pick me about food my whole marriage, how I could do more in the kitchen to make it cheaper but cook him his own meal? I was shown how long I drove that gold truck? The one from the early seventies put together with bondo, the doors didn't stay shut nor did the seat belts work?

Home/Adelle
Between fifteen and seventeen months. He drove my new car that I paid for to work to feed his ego. Alex his newborn daughter drove that truck everywhere. We got stranded everywhere and not one time did he come to our aid. He'd tell me on the phone their is nothing he can do to handle it on my own. Alex and I got stuck out in Gold Bar. Then when I had no choice but to get a second car toward the end of my pregnancy with Kiley, he would not acknowledge the need and he ran me ragged, made my life miserable about this truck. I told him with my car after he sold his car in California, don't you even look at my car to get to school. I won't Colleen we're only three blocks away, then he'd call me a selfish bitch when he wanted to use my car to carpool three blocks from school.

When You Need Somebody
It was a repeat history when he stood behind me and called me a selfish bitch once more. When I first got the used Ford Exploder which is what I wanted. I thought it was ridiculous to lose ten thousand in your investment the moment you drive off the lot. He tried to tell me how he is going to take this Ford Exploder to work every other week. Now I can take the Toyota. The one with two doors? The one with two car seats? The play pen, the stroller, all this stuff I hall around each day to all these functions, bouncing from town to town?

Then/BP
It was around this time that I started to wonder why Greg wants to take every thing good away from me? He couldn't let me have a moment in the delivery room, not in nor before? The way both his parents behaved around both pregnancies? The behavior around the hospitals? I went over the wedding already. I started to wonder about this how come every thing so good and so beautiful to me in my life it is this family right here that always has some kind of issue with something? My family not even close. My family was there for me as much as they could be. Even long distance, yet every time something good or bad came up with my family Greg would stand over me, his time his term his conditions. He could never give me space. I could never have peace it was always something.

Mama's Broken Heart/ML
Back to those two sisters and how we came to be here today? This story started out about those two sisters, those twin towers in the sky and on this ground? My mother and my aunt? (The restaurant they would meet half way in Tumwater was called the Copper Kettle.) When you really think about it, these two sisters didn't make there bed after all. It turns out it was my grand father whom chose his two daughters lives long before they were born? The sign of the times, fathers and daughters?

Stay/Sugarland
The expectation of the male role versus the female role in a home? Whom serves whom serves whom? My aunt Hoogie whom also had all this left arm pain, the arthritis, shot in the hip by a stray bullet checking the mail one day, age eleven. How she fell from my grand daddies good graces? She became a cripple. So my grand daddy had a way to protect her so she could keep a man and always be taken care of and on the other hand he had my mother. The tomboy, whom he expected to have curfews and wear skirts. I knew growing up this did not go over well with my mother.

Wreck Of The Day/AN
The expectation of the female, the secrets we keep to feed another life? The chosen one, vs. the black sheep taking all the blame? This was the competition right here the reason for all the storms between these two. The love the hate, the competition, the fights, the spite, the rise the fall between these two. The Truth is between these two all those years they never knew the reason why all the sensitivity, and hurt feelings between them. They did, just each in there own way. My aunt knew what she saw about her husband from her perspective, first it was the affairs, then the little children.

You're Not Sorry/TS
When she tried to leave him my grandfather sent her home and told her she made her bed, she made her choice. Now go home and lie in it. My aunt didn't make that bed, my grand daddy knew all along. It was after my brother died that this ugly Truth came out between them. It's bad enough your own home under your own roof, you can't escape but to find out that both your parents knew all along and that it started with your little sister all those years?

Burning House/Cam
Now I ask are you ready for these two sisters that stand above my head? Are you ready for these two sisters that stand on the ground? Hell God I don't even know if I could choose which two sisters and their husband's that stood by their side all this time, going back through the generations? Two mother's right up above, those two giant crazy red heads? The mothers of that ring of fire. Over here well let me see Isis and Nephyte. My aunt Hoogie, the Horus, the watcher, the disabled for this rock she carried, let's not forget, I gotta a crazy fickle fackle one on this ground. I said in the beginning my mother is the black cloud, the cause of all these storms? When you think about it, looking back I never said in the beginning which mother was behind these storms? The one on this ground or the one in the sky the other mother you all wrote off, stole from, poisoned and took for granted. Is my Tree Of Life fact or fiction? Am I just an old wives tale, a curse, a myth, some old folklore?

IRIS/The Goo Goo Dolls
I figured out something else this isn't just the end of the line? This isn't just about those John's? Whose the Real Big John? Whose the real Big Daddy of this rock? Whose the pimp of this rock? Whose the real John of Gods flock? That red carpet, the Jezebel and the Gin? The Genie in the bottle? Oh no it's not just about the dragon and setting these slaves free in all walks of life? This is a fight between the crone, for that other big C. The Crown, this is about the Crown and whom really rules this rock to feed her children everlasting life?

Leave The Pieces/The wreckers
My jaded blue heart is softening God. My sister and I had another conversation, "how come it's all these fathers whom got the blue eyes and we got the shit brown eyes?" Now I can tell her we are created from that soil, and that blue sky. The shade of peace and my robin blue eggs.

Love The Way You Lie/Skylar Grey
Who said God doesn't speak to his children through song? The Truth buried deep in the lies? Clearing the emotions the natural way, whatever works for you is the way to finding the light behind all this darkness .Just please stay away from that Dragon and that Gin. If you want to choose I'd say the safer bet to Truth is the green. Yeah God I admit I'm pretty proud of myself, I figured finally what Mary it is I represent in this family tree of life? Why people if you haven't figured it out already my name is Mary Jane. This Mary Jane is here for the Truth behind that weed. I'm here to crash down those glass houses. All these lies and transgressions you created in my family tree of life.

Stand/RF
You know God I've been thinking about that one thousand year mark you gave Satan? It is around 1900's or just before. My clue took me back to that garden God? It was there in the show Damnation it was around 1900's when these rich bastards came in for the land for the wars. The industry on technology and advancement to create and feed the machine is right here isn't it God? Those mother flocking 17's that keep going round and round this rock? I got my oppressors, I got my suppressors, then I got my depressors from the twenties and we as Gods flock are what the re-cessors to all this recession bullshit?

The Reason/Hoopstank
Slavery isn't about the color of your skin, we are all Gods flock slavery is how this system values another human being, first the color of the skin then the redlining determining your value. I know one thing God I got my flock on this rock whom were once the oppressed the disadvantaged, and they will know just what it is I'm talking about. The Truth behind slavery, move it further up the line. Follow the money, follow the shit.  The bullshit in this banking system whom stole all the gold long ago. Still doing it. Now I ask which set of two mothers, which set of two sisters do you want to flock with? Could it be between Eve and Anne? Could it be between Colleen and Anne right here in this rock making up for lost time? No I do not think so. This story is about the sins of thy father. This story is about the Truth buried deep behind that heart? Whom really holds that lock and key to this universe?

Smile/UK
Smile, dance, cry, play that music and just feel those emotions. Let the tears flow. Don't control the pictures in your mind. You've already been there. All those nightmares, all those dreams, all those demons we fight off in our sleep. Sleigh that fear. Sleigh that dragon. Sleigh that dead weight that pulls you down. Give it all your hate and rage.

What It's Like/Everlast
Then let the emotions wave out all that poison and pollution. Then later when you least expect it, God in his own way gives you the answers, maybe the next song. A conversation a name comes back around? Something you always wondered but never knew about, you over hear and off in a direction you go to the next stepping stone. Pay attention to the colors others wear, the numbers anything that sounds familiar that falls in your lap. Don't take it for granted, analyze it, play with it. Ask it questions? Give God all your anger to move you along. I always knew he had the big shoulders to speak the truth in your heart. To carry all the pain your carry inside. You have no idea the things I said to this man. The more I said and realized, hey I ain't dead yet? This Holy Shit path really does work to finding the light.

Second Chance/Shinedown
Life After You/Daughtry
Back to the mountain we go. Back to the honey bees and bears. Back to our lions, our dogs. Yeah God I got it the erosion of the animal kingdom. My wolves you erode and kill off you created the curse of the wolf disease. Funny Big Daddy, the monster in my closet? The one that would just sit and watch me watch him? My monster in my closet, my beastie, is a a great big tall white wolf with little girls climbing all over him in little red dresses.

Santeria/Sublime
This mothers little beasties God planned ahead for this family tree of life. He already had a plan to turn that giant ring of fire into rainbows around this rock. Turns out God had his twelve already chosen people. From what this Big Daddy told me these girls don't mess around on this farm. Oh hell no. They weren't going to allow another charming little boy farmer, come on their farm, get paid and leave these ladies to carry the load. All so they can be all cute and playful to get into their pants? From what I gathered these girls could handle their own. That part made me laugh inside. Betcha I got my green eyes in this batch? Sweet mother of Mary Jane back to the green I go. They told me in the beginning it's about these trees. It's about Alex and this rock. They showed me the redwood forest and the evergreen trees of all places the Veterans office.

Heaven/LLB
Heaven on earth baby. Bring it. Two days, two knights, in the black. We dance on our feet, we dance on our knees. We hoop we holler, we give it all we got for this Rodeo Ride. Then comes the light, the new beginning, the new dawn. No more fear, no more guilt, no more shaming the pain. No more Gin nor dragon to feed the addiction. We will have choices, we will have freedom, food for one, food for all, to plant our own garden, with love and heart from the start. How far is heaven you ask? Well honey if you don't know by now? This little light of mine you carry inside you.

Fly/Sugar Ray