Whose The Big Bad Wolf Now?

Song at the moment Shine by Collective Soul

Well once again I'm going to let my music move my emotions as I write. I like it that way random play. I don't pick. You pick one thing in this system you get a label. A label to any emotions does not ever mean just one thing. We are three dimensional beings after all. All different spiritual beings. From all walks of life. In the universe, heaven's gates and this rock. Your last rock.

So yeah I think I'm seeing something more about the Atom? Still not happy about the Atom bomb being a solution to move mankind forward.

Without You by Hinder
Is only science, a whole solution for humanity and the cost behind it? Humanity came from organic beings first. It's serving the wrong kind of evolution. Science, computers, is over riding humanity. It's just how we choose to heal. That people is what human beings in religion called free will. One way or the highway. Our snake oil for profit. So let me see if I have this straight someone else is picking out my free will and how I can enforce my rights as a free human being without being violent? Character assassins. Yes just because you don't like my words it does not make them untrue. Perhaps more encompassing. Funny word for me to use because I literally stand in a circle spin around and have to start over to get my bearings. I can walk out the same door twelve times and still have to spin in circles and think once again which way do I go and where am I? All encompassing that's me.

Life After You by Daughtery
Funny some of my thought process and character defects. We are human beings addicted or not we all have  character defects. Even addiction to technology. Most jobs can't function without a cell or smart phone. Or perhaps we don't as humans. I mean not be able to function with out technology at your finger tips telling you how to think and feel.  It depends who is applying them, especially when the dollar gets involved with your over all well being.

Believe by Staind
So this popped in my mind the truth about character and character defects is how you apply them and who is applying them to you. To determine your worth and value. People as a whole, or society in any society it's the character behind the mask you got to watch out for. As a whole mankind seems to value your education, and class status over your self worth. Like your education and where did it come from? School Loan's and where we really get all these school loans with all that compounded interest.

Broken by Seether
People think money builds character. Truth is money hides the snake charmer. Depends who's got it and who doesn't.  If you need money to be charming instead of heart?  Truth is money buys quality of a possession not a loving heart. The illusion of a character money buys is a lie.
Humanity can buy charm but they cannot buy a heart, except the black market and well even in my writing there isn't allot of character when it comes down to who holds the keys to your kingdom, Your rabbi or priest your boss, your landlord.  Maybe they put you out to pasture. With guilt and shame instead of God's Love for all his children. Money will  hide your true character. I mean when your rich who can't buy character? Then the flip side in the end of a relationship perhaps even a boss, you will see the others true colors over time. It's even like that when your broke down here. What do you have to exchange? What do you carry? Watcha gonna barter today?

To me money buys ownership. I have seen this history repeated in religion and Government. Who gets a free exchange and who gets to purchase the rights? Who owns the stock? Who owns the deed? Money surpassed humanity long ago and we didn't see it. These two societies Hold the key's to every kingdom all the way around? Our hearts our seed, our gardens, our love, our children, our family.

One Last Breath by Creed
These gardens were poisoned oh so long ago? Now I can tell humanity how these seeds got planted and I'm speaking the Truth. I don't know, isn't the black star called the pentagon? I mean really the two coincidences pentagon and the black magic being used behind the Pentagon? Look at the actions and behavior, overtime, and history? Yes we are all so indebted and thankful all you bankers have done hiding behind the iron curtain. Controlling evolution, humanity, your solution more product, more money, more waves, more taxes, more fees, more laws to serve under and box you in in all this injustice of bullshit you serve up. Thanks again but no thanks. It's so funny and standing right out in the open making you feel like you need to have insurance just to live on my rock? Insurance this insurance that, nickel and dime the insurance, nickel and dime humanities basic rights to live at their free will, willingly. In this system if you do not abide, you are a black star, a black stain, all because I will not conform. I will not adapt to this systems cruel inhumane behavior. I will not lower myself to your level. I am not the coward. You are.
Free will to choose spiritually, and medically.

Drive by Incubus
Objectivity just popped into my head, not sure why how we objectify everything? Women, children, men, humanity in the forest and the beasties we carry inside us. The oppression of the emotions in the spine. It compresses it emotionally and literally drains your spirit so much making you feel so repressed and tired, that duh. Of course your depressed, They take minimum couple months to even work, so each day a human being tries to function on this shit even for a mental diagnosis illness, you wake up everyday in a black cloud feeling so tired and repressed just to start your day and function as a human being. Is inhumane and you still hurt because serving all pain with one Pat solution, is not solution. It's a illusion of services with a high cost no matter who pays or how cheap.

So let's go back to that Atom, I heard the words in the show that described how I see the atom molecule spiral around a human being. I think we are an anomaly of atoms. Linking up physically from the inside to the outside energy we emit around our bodies. What comes around goes around. What comes up must come down. Round and a round we go. That doesn't mean you fall down. That means your atom energy, your personal energy. Your personal atomic energy spirals all around you. That energy drain of pain you wake up to everyday represses you and over a short time it's  causing depression. It's not the environment or addiction behind this plan. It's the illusion they created.

Picture your body sitting inside a white egg and draw a stick figure inside. Like the Davinci guy standing with his arms out to the side. Now draw a line from each point of pain around your body and make a jagged crack to the outer edge of that crack? When we awaken each day, we should feel a full 100 percent. Not with these drugs, you wake up with a black cloud starting at fifty percent, depending on your energy and what it takes to perk you up. Starting out suppressed and hurting compressed in that spine we are shutting down emotionally creating the depression on human bodies that their septic system has been poisoned long ago. Even being intolerant, we lose nutrition every time we eat it. It slowly starves our bodies from nutrients on the inside. Yeah that would make anyone off balance.
Mentally and physically.

Away From The Sun, 3 Doors Down

Now try telling them the truth? I want out of my shell. Get me out of my shell. I want to fly. I want to dance, Create the addiction, Vietnam around the time they planted the seed, all this PTSD, duh, You'd be fucked up to, then to come home, beaten bruised, missing pieces of your body, told your wrong your a addicted freak of nature now. Ostracized drugged up for a war created to cover the excuse they needed for all the insanity labels they created to fight a war to plant a seed has to come off someones back right? We had men wanting to come home, on the other side others couldn't respect that, but they sure took the blame.

Crashed by Daughtery
Yet the 60's perhaps had it right also with all those beet nicks. Yeah the Government liked that. Allot of money and control in war and food. Especially when they created the profit and loss in humanity. To pay the taxes to fight the wars. To keep all us inbreds stupid and high on reality T.V.. Look at that alone. One studio one show, it goes out heavily advertised to millions and sets the stage to a new reality. To succumb to be anything, you need this visual aid too. The Poison apple and the black Cobra hiding behind the money, creating humanities profit and losses, has no right to determine humanities frame of mind. They have no dialogue except, re-direct and plant seeds of lies make you take the blame for all this insanity I see inside my broken heart.

If Everyone Cared Nickelback
Do you know what that family upstairs wants you to do? Procreate responsibly,  love humanely. Use your internal intelligence, not some other system of numbers and how they place your value with your own zero's and ones inside you. Numbers don't have heart and neither does this number system and all this advanced technology and that mainframe in the sky monitoring all your character defects, literally placing a black cloud and value right there. Now literally everything is up to a credit report. Every value every purchase. Whether you deserved that value they created and determined for you.  No value in a system with no heart.

Yeah so who's the big bad wolf now.? You are surrounded by families militia, I learned just who the real big Atom is of this universe he created. One lil atom of God's particle, as big as this universe well thats allot of hot air and star power wouldn't you have to agree? Making a marketing system, poison the food all the way around and the water, create the label and crime, leave humanity carrying the bag, right down to that last dime. Yeah their objectives are pretty clear to me.

I am no longer anyone's object or trophy wife. (Not a rich one, I mean his motives)Been there done that and look at the mark up on a wedding today that used to be free to do until the governemnt came along. Create a problem, now we got a judicial system applying your label of llove. How much a divorce is gonna cost you. Do you see those spirals going round and round boys?

\\

Kicked To The Curb

Went and took a break the music playing,
Trying Not To Love You by Nickelback
Paralyze by Finger 11
The Reason Hoopstank
Over and Over by 3 Days Grace

First one speaks volumes. The quarrel and fight I carry inside me each day trying not to love you.
Paralyze, no shit I know just how you feel I've had a few heart stopping moments in the last two years. I mean who really knew there was anything such as me? I mean come on get the flying flock out of town. Get me the flock off this rock. You bet your sweet shit I say Beam me up Scotty.
Ground zero and Ni Eve doesn't even begin to describe this journey. Right from the start I took my Q's from humanity, starting with Family, Brothers, Sisters, Lakota, ISIS, Freya, infertility, ? I mean you'd say Jesus Christ get me off this rock too. I'm going to chase you, I'm going to hunt you. I don't care if your the black snake. I don't care if your my brother.

The Reason Hoopstank
You bet your sweet ass Hoopstank. I mean just as I said get this mother nature shit over with and as soon as my eyes laid up on him. Good or bad this is not good. Hell no I didn't want to see any of that man. Nope I don't care if he's the Father, the Sun, the Universe. Nope. Then Robin Williams Chimes in and I'm down on my knees on red rock road crying and wailing. Robin hit the nail on the head right then. He's going to have the last laugh. I choked with laughter on my own tears.

Then I got real mad. No matter how hard I tried I told him. "Oh know you don't, you can keep your dimensions. Oh no you don't, I don't want your dimensions inside of me. Not after this load of shit you dropped on me. No I don't care how humanely he has been. I mean God ain't nothing if not humane.

Then the song Over and Over, by 3 Day's Grace. My God really then a couple days later he says it, "the dimensions are inside you and I thought I had seen the last of the crazy dream". You know the ending and the irony, the timing. Yeah ground zero. Yup that about describes it. Parallel universe pops into my head right now. I mean my God Really?

Then Bring Me To Life by Evanescence, Like this doesn't speak volumes. Just where have I said this once before? Then to discover when I got a concussion at the age of two when I woke up it was my brothers face I saw first, standing over me looking down.

With Arms Wide Open by Creed.
Used to be my favorite song. Now seeing it from a bigger picture it speaks volumes. How God and that family of angels speaks to you through music and song your whole life, but yes, there are days with that man upstairs I aint happy for one God minute either

Photograph By Nickelback

Another word popped in my head the other day Ion, Ionic, and Photonic, molecule. I don't know with all these apples Adam's. and atoms. Earth Science, Science Fiction, Mythology, Theology, Anna, Bridal shows I don't watch, sure have shown me allot of what I was already seeing. I mean first the Name Abe and Rose. Moving into a orphanage, Family comes first once again. Mothers and sisters. Over and over upstairs and downstairs.

Whoopi Goldberg from Ghost can have her job back. God you can have back your bloody tear drop and all your atoms, Adams and keep your dimensions. I don't want your dimensions inside me even if your God. Not that way that's for sure.  I don't care nothing about no family jewels, upstairs and downstairs. Universal thought process and discovering they are not very happy about breaking all this universal law. Who even knew there was such a thing?

Chalk Outline by 3 Days Grace

You bet your sweet ass I was happy to be ostracized. Oh yeah I couldn't explain any of this shit. Not without this journal. Close your fucking doors and hide your mirrors I don't wanna know either. A lawyer tells me Colleen follow the system and their ain't nothing I don't like than people watching and observing humanities behaviors from all walks of life. I had to look up Lakota for Christ Sakes and the twin thing. I did not know nothing about no twins nothing. Ground zero and a book of angels is all I had to go on.

Anthem Of The Angels by Breaking Benjamin

Then Abe Lincoln, Mary Todd and they have a son named Todd. Todd Road, Betsy Ross and that flag, white dresses? Whats with all the white dresses? Whats up with the white beasties for animal guides? Whats up with all these puritans, deciding for God and his family what our agreement was and what he would label a pure heart? I mean God all these rules on God and his love is so locked in and we make a big profit off that and his son/Sun and Mother Nature, Mother Mary, Mary Stone, Eve, Sara, Kiley, Kai. Kyle get me the flock off this rock.

Breaking Inside by Shinedown
I mean Mother Mary Mother Nature Eve the garden and the seed like that's not enough? Wendy the weather, the prides all those prides and country prides, red rocks and I hate red onions. They are the worst onion of all. Can't get the taste off anything, They are a, vial and they make me puke and cry. When cooked they turn to slime. Ish. I hate slimy things.

Mushrooms, Olive's and Anchovies. Oh Yuck. Seafood, Clam's and Oysters oh so fishy oh so slimy. Picture what my true scent would be if I could take off my face mask of pain I fight daily, I mean clear out my sinuses building up mucus all these years has definitely dulled my senses. Then the most basic healthcare system does not cover a sinus rinse with a antibiotic. I mean just look at all these face masks you don't see. Then the sudafed addiction. Legal and illegal. Locked up too.

The S shape of the spine, holds our emotions and effects our energy heart and souls. All to squander money in a healthcare system they created.

I Don't Care by Apocalyptic

I have prayed to the porcelain God, I have sat upon that white throne a few times. Even said a few" oh shit prayers, hanging by the seat of my pants. After awhile, I actually said out loud ,"oh hell God, you know I ain't going to no church to find you'. Then to find out that it's about the poison inside causing all this disconnect inside and out. My God is right. I don't care. Let's just blow this popsicle stand. To discover my prayers are promises to come. Right down to the prayer of peace. All these numbers, all these angels, all these guides. Man, woman or beast is my families tree of light. I assure you that family understands the context and the intent of your words and prayers.

Epiphany by Staind
You were a star before you came to be here. My other epiphany that family wanted these doors closed because they didn't want outside influence. They know what is in your heart. They know who you really are and who your true spirit really is inside. I laughed the last night when it dawned on me. Evolution. Squandering humanities evolution for profit and gain is evol and it's insane. The true intent, the action taken, the cause and effect on humanity?
Epiphany vs. Eternity.
Live in Epiphany on this side forevermore or eternity on the other side of the door?  Free will, I will, Thy Will is His Will.
I will not stand for mankind to be kicked to the curb. Why you ask? It's inhumane unloving and unkind. It's the other Big A. Abuse of humanity for loss or gain is a crime.

Road Less Traveled

Road Less Traveled/LA
Satan's soul purpose to corrupt and destroy mankind. Chinese Solar eclipse caused by a huge wolf that eats the sun. Norsk, Oden was accompanied by two. HEE HAW this is gonna be fun. The wolf gets to eat the sun this time? My kind of garden, my kind of play time. I can't wait to play with my food God.

Cowboy Casanova/CU
Adam Conover thank you my son, your right the con is over. The game is up. I got a bird for you to clean up your mess you made for me? The carnivore, a bird of prey to pick you apart like you did me and mine, with all this nit picking, blaming I carry the load with my families Tree Of Life. He ain't heavy, he's my brother comes to light.

Better Dig 2/TBP
So the Beast is looking for a bride is that what I'm seeing God? Greg's 666 grew to the 4th 6. All this time he gained all his power. The answer to my prayers was hanging on my wall all along and I didn't even know it. "All I Am IS Yours" at the top." Got my list of love to my left. "Live simply, love generously, serve faithfully, speak truthfully." So I've tried, what a roller coaster ride.

Rain Comes In/The Judds
I got my hand of Faith on the right. written in words of truth and light. Hebrews 11:1-3
"Now Faith is Assurance of things hoped for. Proof of things not seen. By Faith, we understand the the universe has been framed by the word of God. So what is seen has not been made out of things which are visible." Pray daily. Have a little conversation, tell him all your pain your fears and your joys that's what he's their for. Their ain't no rules on how to pray. You can take that straight to the bank and tell them Faith said so.

Born To Fly/SE
Look what I have sitting just down below in Shamrock green? "Family, forever and always, no matter what." Sitting right in the center God, is the answer to my prayers. A medieval cross to pull it all together. The best five bucks I ever spent.

Grandpa/Judds
Done/TDP
Shut Up And Drive/CW
How Do I Live/LR

Family Of Faith

Human

Human/CP
The deeper I go into this family tree of life? Not knowing which way do I go? My Benevolent Belinda's house? That dark grey house on Lilac street? The curse of the chamber pot made? The deep sleep, the dreams, the times when we can't sleep, the pattern in my family tree on both sides?

Need You Now/LA
Whom her father represents in my family? The depression and she wasn't depressed. Just because our parents have a demon inside their hearts, it doesn't mean we are them or that we become them. It means we carry the burden of the secrets inside our hearts even if we don't understand why? No matter what adversity, what a human being is capable of to keep going? Why we are here standing in the center of all this insanity? This is between Job and Satan.

Over You/ML
My first prayer when I was in the ninth grade, and I hit the wall, with my arms out to my side's I screamed up at God, "why God? Why did you place me here in the center of all this insanity?" I fell to my knee's, I placed my arms across my chest. I sat there and cried. All I wanted was a normal mother. A normal life, without it always being something to block my path. Get me out of this box. This was why I wanted to go live with my father. I never said anything to her about my father, but it was the age and the timing?

She Will Be Loved/M5
My sister left about this age. I wanted my turn to escape and I didn't care how? I'd cook and clean. I'd do his laundry. I'd take care of my father just like Charm did after her mother left her and her father. I didn't care if I became a Cinderella daughter. My father didn't belittle me and put me down. Not an unkind word. My father I could trust to never lay a hand on me no matter what. I just wanted to spread my wings and fly, without all the fears of my brothers death hanging over my mothers head, every time I stepped out that door. I wanted away from all her spite. All her rage. All her belittling she would do to someone else if she didn't get her way. Then she'd make them pay. Boy did my mother not let anything go in the public eye and behind the scenes her spirals usually lasted about three weeks of slamming doors and put downs. Making your life a living hell. Reel in cast out. The highs and lows of the blame game going on inside her heart.

Like I'm Gonna Lose You/JT
The depression of the fig tree? The one I never knew about, hanging over my bed and on each side I had two old fashioned blue lanterns. A green and blue butter fly quilt that my mother gave me just before I learned that after all these years of hearing you got to do your part? All these years of carrying the heavy load?Taking all the blame? Making our future gifts in middle of the night. A night owl doesn't even describe how little sleep I need to keep going.

Blown Away/CU
Baking zucchini bread, making homemade candy, Kahlua and putting together gift baskets always just ahead I moved through the night. I sewed on my time down usually a gift for someone else. All the party planning, doing every thing myself for each gathering to make it cheaper. It wasn't until after this that I had just put together another gathering. Greg comes walking in the door late as usual like he's the life of the party. He'd check himself in the mirror. Then I'd be left with the clean up. To hear after two businesses, my house, my children, all this scrimping and saving to make things cheaper to carry my load to do my part to build what?

Back To December/TS
He never had any plan of having a future with me. It was all a lie it was all a scam. It was like Pam said in the beginning 'you can walk into a room looking hot and he doesn't even say a word. He takes you for granted." I thought at the time it was about my looks. I didn't need to be told I looked good. I wasn't like that. I knew I was fortunate. High metabolism and all.

Don't Speak/ND
Pam was right however, he did take me for granted. It was about my heart? I married a man with no heart. He didn't have a low self esteem, when I stood there with his father in the middle of a fixer upper, two children later I find out why Greg can't swing a hammer? After finding out he doesn't know how to balance a bank account? Why he knows nothing about insurance why and how anything works? How much stuff really cost? The reality and the truth of what things in life cost every day? Greg had no concept of anything every step of the way. I'd discover something big like this after I'd just make a major financial commitment with this man? Greg had a smart woman with allot of energy. Greg had a woman who was the jack of all trades and could pick up and learn anything quickly. Especially how to do it myself.

Making Memories Of Us/KU
I liked doing things myself. I liked working with my hands. I liked having a busy day's with the family. That is what I couldn't figure out was just this, as long as I was doing something to make something cheaper a gift, a project in the house, as long as I was moving and doing my part he wouldn't bother me, but if I tried to just sit down, shut down, go to the gym something for myself, it was always an issue. My time and money. I wasn't allowed to do anything for myself not without a sit down and whether I was worthy to even get a haircut.

Temporary Home/CU
He'd nit pick me about food my whole marriage, how I could do more in the kitchen to make it cheaper but cook him his own meal? I was shown how long I drove that gold truck? The one from the early seventies put together with bondo, the doors didn't stay shut nor did the seat belts work?

Home/Adelle
Between fifteen and seventeen months. He drove my new car that I paid for to work to feed his ego. Alex his newborn daughter drove that truck everywhere. We got stranded everywhere and not one time did he come to our aid. He'd tell me on the phone their is nothing he can do to handle it on my own. Alex and I got stuck out in Gold Bar. Then when I had no choice but to get a second car toward the end of my pregnancy with Kiley, he would not acknowledge the need and he ran me ragged, made my life miserable about this truck. I told him with my car after he sold his car in California, don't you even look at my car to get to school. I won't Colleen we're only three blocks away, then he'd call me a selfish bitch when he wanted to use my car to carpool three blocks from school.

When You Need Somebody
It was a repeat history when he stood behind me and called me a selfish bitch once more. When I first got the used Ford Exploder which is what I wanted. I thought it was ridiculous to lose ten thousand in your investment the moment you drive off the lot. He tried to tell me how he is going to take this Ford Exploder to work every other week. Now I can take the Toyota. The one with two doors? The one with two car seats? The play pen, the stroller, all this stuff I hall around each day to all these functions, bouncing from town to town?

Then/BP
It was around this time that I started to wonder why Greg wants to take every thing good away from me? He couldn't let me have a moment in the delivery room, not in nor before? The way both his parents behaved around both pregnancies? The behavior around the hospitals? I went over the wedding already. I started to wonder about this how come every thing so good and so beautiful to me in my life it is this family right here that always has some kind of issue with something? My family not even close. My family was there for me as much as they could be. Even long distance, yet every time something good or bad came up with my family Greg would stand over me, his time his term his conditions. He could never give me space. I could never have peace it was always something.

Mama's Broken Heart/ML
Back to those two sisters and how we came to be here today? This story started out about those two sisters, those twin towers in the sky and on this ground? My mother and my aunt? (The restaurant they would meet half way in Tumwater was called the Copper Kettle.) When you really think about it, these two sisters didn't make there bed after all. It turns out it was my grand father whom chose his two daughters lives long before they were born? The sign of the times, fathers and daughters?

Stay/Sugarland
The expectation of the male role versus the female role in a home? Whom serves whom serves whom? My aunt Hoogie whom also had all this left arm pain, the arthritis, shot in the hip by a stray bullet checking the mail one day, age eleven. How she fell from my grand daddies good graces? She became a cripple. So my grand daddy had a way to protect her so she could keep a man and always be taken care of and on the other hand he had my mother. The tomboy, whom he expected to have curfews and wear skirts. I knew growing up this did not go over well with my mother.

Wreck Of The Day/AN
The expectation of the female, the secrets we keep to feed another life? The chosen one, vs. the black sheep taking all the blame? This was the competition right here the reason for all the storms between these two. The love the hate, the competition, the fights, the spite, the rise the fall between these two. The Truth is between these two all those years they never knew the reason why all the sensitivity, and hurt feelings between them. They did, just each in there own way. My aunt knew what she saw about her husband from her perspective, first it was the affairs, then the little children.

You're Not Sorry/TS
When she tried to leave him my grandfather sent her home and told her she made her bed, she made her choice. Now go home and lie in it. My aunt didn't make that bed, my grand daddy knew all along. It was after my brother died that this ugly Truth came out between them. It's bad enough your own home under your own roof, you can't escape but to find out that both your parents knew all along and that it started with your little sister all those years?

Burning House/Cam
Now I ask are you ready for these two sisters that stand above my head? Are you ready for these two sisters that stand on the ground? Hell God I don't even know if I could choose which two sisters and their husband's that stood by their side all this time, going back through the generations? Two mother's right up above, those two giant crazy red heads? The mothers of that ring of fire. Over here well let me see Isis and Nephyte. My aunt Hoogie, the Horus, the watcher, the disabled for this rock she carried, let's not forget, I gotta a crazy fickle fackle one on this ground. I said in the beginning my mother is the black cloud, the cause of all these storms? When you think about it, looking back I never said in the beginning which mother was behind these storms? The one on this ground or the one in the sky the other mother you all wrote off, stole from, poisoned and took for granted. Is my Tree Of Life fact or fiction? Am I just an old wives tale, a curse, a myth, some old folklore?

IRIS/The Goo Goo Dolls
I figured out something else this isn't just the end of the line? This isn't just about those John's? Whose the Real Big John? Whose the real Big Daddy of this rock? Whose the pimp of this rock? Whose the real John of Gods flock? That red carpet, the Jezebel and the Gin? The Genie in the bottle? Oh no it's not just about the dragon and setting these slaves free in all walks of life? This is a fight between the crone, for that other big C. The Crown, this is about the Crown and whom really rules this rock to feed her children everlasting life?

Leave The Pieces/The wreckers
My jaded blue heart is softening God. My sister and I had another conversation, "how come it's all these fathers whom got the blue eyes and we got the shit brown eyes?" Now I can tell her we are created from that soil, and that blue sky. The shade of peace and my robin blue eggs.

Love The Way You Lie/Skylar Grey
Who said God doesn't speak to his children through song? The Truth buried deep in the lies? Clearing the emotions the natural way, whatever works for you is the way to finding the light behind all this darkness .Just please stay away from that Dragon and that Gin. If you want to choose I'd say the safer bet to Truth is the green. Yeah God I admit I'm pretty proud of myself, I figured finally what Mary it is I represent in this family tree of life? Why people if you haven't figured it out already my name is Mary Jane. This Mary Jane is here for the Truth behind that weed. I'm here to crash down those glass houses. All these lies and transgressions you created in my family tree of life.

Stand/RF
You know God I've been thinking about that one thousand year mark you gave Satan? It is around 1900's or just before. My clue took me back to that garden God? It was there in the show Damnation it was around 1900's when these rich bastards came in for the land for the wars. The industry on technology and advancement to create and feed the machine is right here isn't it God? Those mother flocking 17's that keep going round and round this rock? I got my oppressors, I got my suppressors, then I got my depressors from the twenties and we as Gods flock are what the re-cessors to all this recession bullshit?

The Reason/Hoopstank
Slavery isn't about the color of your skin, we are all Gods flock slavery is how this system values another human being, first the color of the skin then the redlining determining your value. I know one thing God I got my flock on this rock whom were once the oppressed the disadvantaged, and they will know just what it is I'm talking about. The Truth behind slavery, move it further up the line. Follow the money, follow the shit.  The bullshit in this banking system whom stole all the gold long ago. Still doing it. Now I ask which set of two mothers, which set of two sisters do you want to flock with? Could it be between Eve and Anne? Could it be between Colleen and Anne right here in this rock making up for lost time? No I do not think so. This story is about the sins of thy father. This story is about the Truth buried deep behind that heart? Whom really holds that lock and key to this universe?

Smile/UK
Smile, dance, cry, play that music and just feel those emotions. Let the tears flow. Don't control the pictures in your mind. You've already been there. All those nightmares, all those dreams, all those demons we fight off in our sleep. Sleigh that fear. Sleigh that dragon. Sleigh that dead weight that pulls you down. Give it all your hate and rage.

What It's Like/Everlast
Then let the emotions wave out all that poison and pollution. Then later when you least expect it, God in his own way gives you the answers, maybe the next song. A conversation a name comes back around? Something you always wondered but never knew about, you over hear and off in a direction you go to the next stepping stone. Pay attention to the colors others wear, the numbers anything that sounds familiar that falls in your lap. Don't take it for granted, analyze it, play with it. Ask it questions? Give God all your anger to move you along. I always knew he had the big shoulders to speak the truth in your heart. To carry all the pain your carry inside. You have no idea the things I said to this man. The more I said and realized, hey I ain't dead yet? This Holy Shit path really does work to finding the light.

Second Chance/Shinedown
Life After You/Daughtry
Back to the mountain we go. Back to the honey bees and bears. Back to our lions, our dogs. Yeah God I got it the erosion of the animal kingdom. My wolves you erode and kill off you created the curse of the wolf disease. Funny Big Daddy, the monster in my closet? The one that would just sit and watch me watch him? My monster in my closet, my beastie, is a a great big tall white wolf with little girls climbing all over him in little red dresses.

Santeria/Sublime
This mothers little beasties God planned ahead for this family tree of life. He already had a plan to turn that giant ring of fire into rainbows around this rock. Turns out God had his twelve already chosen people. From what this Big Daddy told me these girls don't mess around on this farm. Oh hell no. They weren't going to allow another charming little boy farmer, come on their farm, get paid and leave these ladies to carry the load. All so they can be all cute and playful to get into their pants? From what I gathered these girls could handle their own. That part made me laugh inside. Betcha I got my green eyes in this batch? Sweet mother of Mary Jane back to the green I go. They told me in the beginning it's about these trees. It's about Alex and this rock. They showed me the redwood forest and the evergreen trees of all places the Veterans office.

Heaven/LLB
Heaven on earth baby. Bring it. Two days, two knights, in the black. We dance on our feet, we dance on our knees. We hoop we holler, we give it all we got for this Rodeo Ride. Then comes the light, the new beginning, the new dawn. No more fear, no more guilt, no more shaming the pain. No more Gin nor dragon to feed the addiction. We will have choices, we will have freedom, food for one, food for all, to plant our own garden, with love and heart from the start. How far is heaven you ask? Well honey if you don't know by now? This little light of mine you carry inside you.

Fly/Sugar Ray

The Arc Of The Covenant And The Son

You Had Me From Hello/KC
The arc of the covenant and the son? Why it is I am here? It has been a rough morning. I am so angry at God for this one. My rage at God for this one. I fell to my knees in my head and begged God. No God, please God not her? Not this mother? Not this family and why I'm here? I said in the begining he's here for the son. He's standing at the door. It was the single father whom was a policeman whom had a son. He was sitting at the same table as the policeman I kept hearing around him he's playing for the wrong team. At first I wasn't sure what that meant. King County vs. Snoqualmie Police force.

I Love The Way You Love Me/JMM
Travel Centers of America, that truck stop, the assembly line of the drug trade? Who has top priority over that truck stop? Whose the highest ranking and what are they hiding? Was it the drugs or the slavery of the children and mothers, families and fathers? So much happened there on all those shifts with all those people? Clueless what I was standing in? Doesn't even begin to explain from then to now and how far this goes back? This policeman was arrogant beyond belief. I knew it was about the fruit and the way he spoke to me? I wasn't sure why? I went and got my own bag of cranberries to make sure this policeman was served up just right. It was in the beginning and always has been about two sisters in this hot mess. Then I read what happened with Abraham and Sara, the beginning of all the distention in family? The servitude, the friendship, the sisterhood and whose got the heir the son?

If Your gonna play in Texas/Alabama
Then I started to realize their is always two of something in the people and birthdates going on around me? Some kind of twin theory? Then I kept picking up that JC and Mary didn't have just one, no they had two? Their was a son, his name was jusiah or judiah, jude. Something Judy and that frontal labotomy of my aunt Judy. That third eye? The blocking of the third eye. Abe Lincoln got kicked in the head by a jackass of all things. Labeled with a brain injury. My mind kept going back to that covenant and the two sisters? What Sara said to me about her husband and their marriage?

The Thunder Rolls/GB
First I noticed a family of four just trying to have a garden. I mean they had two tree's outside of their windows out back. Danielle told me a story about his cat and what he did with the bones? Then I noticed the addiction bug. Bitten by the Gin. Danielle and his black outs when Sara stresses him out. He shot himself in the head. A drive by with a silver bullet he's lucky to be alive. It all started the day I saw someone walk into there house right after I knew all four had just left. I said something to both of them, not hiding anything. Patrick from up above just had a strange woman move in whom had a tendency to roam at odd hours.  How I knew this one? She asked me for a smoke the moment she arrived in the middle of the night. She had just left the hospital.

Look Heart No Hands/RT
I was seeing a repeat history all over particulary with Sara's age. The two little tow heads whom are polar opposites in behavior? I mean the one that is hooked up is really hooked up and shut down to what goes on around him. Then we got the three year old little Ronnie whom pissed me off on one of my worst days pain wise? Talk about waving a white flag in front of my face? I mean it's all about the sign in everything. This little guy whom is a sensory child. I mean a bounce off the walls sensory child. He picked up a sign like 6 inches in diameter and waved it in front of my face right outside my front door.

That Ain't No Way To Go/B&D
I remembered what Antoinette said to me about when I pace, I look like a Sentry. Whats that I ask? A warrior, a protector. I did that all around that orphanage. After someone showed up asking for me in the apartments behind us, saying they are there to take me to an appointment? Then my friend whom had long dark hair was asleep in the car with her little dog. A blond haired man whom had a buzz cut like he was in the military hit her window with a carpenter hammer of all things? She told me about the native heart of fire. When she looked up he said "I'm sorry I thought you were someone else." He dropped the hammer and ran.

The Chair/GS
Then of all times I got some kind of watcher parked out front across the way? All these stories at the time of these women being raped revolving in and out these doors? These mothers, these daughters these sisters.

Dust On The Bottle/DLM
Finally one day I hopped the wall and stood in front of it. Walked to the back. Look at that the engine is running. So quiet it purred like a kitten. I made my point. I knew I looked crazy and I did not give a fuck. I stood there smoked my cigarette and I walked away. When I came back awhile later, low and behold it got the message. Go away. I didn't know what was going on at the time but it had something to do with the children and these ladies. I had a baby Sophie and three generations in that family. I had a young one pregnant. I didn't like the timing on that alone. I believe she was six months along. I had the youngest and only sister of 12. She whom protesth to much.

Hard Rock Bottom Of Your Heart/RT
Yeah I'm angry at God for this one. Earlier thinking about Randy Travis and those Three Wooden Crosses that my T.O.L. bares. How do I tell Sara, the one whom I pulled the thorn out of her paw God, that it is her son, well both that I am here for their son? How do I tell her Danielle isn't crazy he really is being watched and that his fear that someone is coming into his home at night to do experiments and run test on his son has nothing to do with drugs and alcohol?

Country Boy/AJ
That it is the Gin himself knocking at his door. You don't have to invite this Gin in because he's already inside. It was the day I just happened to be standing there and a young kid not Sara nor Danielle opened the door. I don't think he knew at first I was standing right there to his left. He looked surprised at first. It was the timing of Danielle's behavior when he's acting up? It is the hours when they are supposed to both be gone?

Forever Country/Then and Now
Danielle has surveillance all in that house, but the pass code's to turn the system on and off are being used, when he is gone and Sara is supposed to be at work? There is no way that Sara would keep going in and out that door during work hours? For one thing she has to work and it's to far to go? So whom gave these guys the keys to the code? The literal keys was a woman in a blue dress a few months back? She used the keys to walk in. A little while later she walked out. Then the second time was last week and that guy had to of had the keys and the pass code to the system. Whom gave these people the keys to that house God?

A Better Man/Clint Black
Please God for once in my life. Let Him be the bigger the better man. The man with the sight for sore eye's. Let Him hear my words, the answer to my prayers.

Alibis/TL
The Truth that I can't do this last hurdle alone. I saw myself doing some kind of exorcism. It was about Patty and her son. Sara is a Lion God. How do I tell her she patron of the arts like me? Not the dark arts, but the white lighters? How do I tell her I got this one? To put her faith in me? This mother is the Patron Of This Rock. I ain't letting nothing get to her son, nor mine.

Remember When/AJ
Boy this family just keeps growing God. Every time I discover something new you move me along to the next stepping stone. So now as much as I hate to ask? I just got this bad habit now. Can't seem to break it. What the flock now? The whole reason I haven't excavated M's demon is because I don't want to start a storm. The only reason I haven't said anything to Greg is that storm brewing God.

The Dance/GB
You made it very clear that I'm just your marionette puppet on a string down here. Dancing and only moving on this journey through you. You had already made it clear through my brother that he's the conductor of this show. You put me through my worst fears, as usual the breaking of someone else's heart in telling them the Truth. The Truth to the answers that they want to know but it hurts to bad to know. Trust me I've been there several times over on this journey. I hate being the heavy in all this. Only the Truth will set you free. The Truth in telling someone else, it's going to get worse before it gets better. That it's not only in words this time, but the real deal.

Help Me Hold On/TT
I can't even say a double edged sword anymore. More like a trinity into hell God? The laughter, the hopes and the tears. The Joy the sorrow and the pain then the fourth element the tears. The cleansing of the emotion to wash away the tears. This is how we heal naturally and get stronger. Yes I'm not going to deny it's been a rough ride. All the way around it's been a rough ride. This school of life. Finding out I'm the Jack of All Trades? The reason why I like to take something old and make it new again? The Truth why I said, I'd rather hurt than hurt someone else God? That Truth is coming closer to something? Another label I don't want to carry? Another burden, another label, for me to carry on my back God? After today I'm not sure if I'm really ready for you to get to the heart of the matter.

Carrying The Love With Me/GS
I know one thing I can't take much more. I have figured out that after I get up to hell and sit in that migraine like that for that long? I feel like I have been in a car accident each time coming back down. This one was touch and go for about five days there? I'm still fighting every morning this migraine? I pushed a knot right off my axis. It's this little mother flocker that won't turn off and adjust. It just keeps it going and I got one pill left God. For the last week and a half it's been one pill, Sudafed. Two pills Imitrex, three pills the perc in this hot mess that has caused all this drama in my family tree of life. Then after the rinse and the sprays I start the process all over. The same thing every morning. I just want the Truth to come out whom I am so we can get this over with God. Good example, bad example, no example. Is this an example of Faith to carry me through all this darkness and pain, or do you want me to hurt, be in pain and suffer for my emotions God? Nothing pisses me off more than when I hurt and you yank my mother flocking chain. You try to function be a normal person day after day when you hurt. Test Test Test.

Nothing At All/AK
Mountain Music/Alabama

All Star

All Star/Smash Mouth on Astro Lounge
Not sure where I'm going to go with this one? Good news I'm finally on the rise health wise. I'm pissed. Everything is a simple solution and this hell care system turned chronic pain into phantom pain. Truth is it's all about balance with my T.O.L. It's about balance with my C.N.S.. It's about balance with my heart, my mind and my spirit.

Take Me Home Country Roads/JD
Please God no more JD. No more Sunshine On My Shoulders. No more Almost Heaven bullshit. I'm tired of purgatory. I'm tired of hell. I'm tired of the suffering and pain. I'm tired of the guilt and shame. Not my guilt God. Not my shame. I'm not the guilty one. A doctor whispered in my ear back in the early 2000's, "Colleen don't you ever let anyone make you feel guilty for pain." That is how these doctors and this hell care system has made me feel for the last 10 to 15 years. All along I was speaking the truth. Only over the years I was getting worse with less help. To this day my doctor wanted me to go on Gabapentin. I hate this drug. It's their pat drug. It shuts you down. It drains your energy so much. It takes months to work. It never works on the pain. This drug is a lie for muscular skeletal pain. It is not a solution for every human beings chronic pain. Why shut a perfectly functioning human being down in the mind, which causes the depression? Then it deeply affects the heart and the mind as you try to function. Try to make it work? Truth is when you hurt for a long time it causes a depression because the human body only has 100 percent energy to use everyday. You wake up drugged up you start out half mass at best. Told to keep going full throttle with the rest of your life. This does not compute. It does not sync up.

The Rose/BM
This is about freedom. Her name was Mary. Yes I know another Mary. She was my dad's counselor in Walla Walla. I had just become his legal guardian. Very pregnant with Kai. My father couldn't remember past ten minutes when this started. I mean a continuous process ten minutes,  then he could function. If theirs a commercial or a break in scenery he had to start over. I told my sister for a guy who only had a ten minute memory span the only thing he remembers is what his counselor said  "don't ever let somebody take your freedom away." Lucky ducky me this one. This was the same counselor whom didn't bother to call us when they had a function at his hospital. It was the ninth step. He waited all day for us to arrive, to apologize for what he was capable of up to that point in his life. My father the next time we spoke to him was saddened that after all this neither one of us showed. We were horrified.

Addicted/Saving Abel
It was the same thing that happened when he died alone in that convalescent home. We both got a phone call, yet later we both realized the reason why neither of us showed was because she was so vague that both of us missed the point. This is the bullshit I'm talking about. Looking back realizing slowly over time just how much it is this system that dropped the ball on my family and it started with my brother. That is just my generation. Do you know what the name of the weapon that Hitler created in 1936. It's called "The Bell." It was created underground by slaves. Did you know that Russia sent us after 9/11 a big tear drop. Wasn't it Bell that was attracted to a prince that was turned into a wolf. What was her mothers name? Beatrice, the rose and the plague. Dante's inferno the name of Dante's love that he tried to make it back to her and 3 years later she married someone else? Beatrice. The name of my Cherokee great grandmother of 12that showed up in my room all dressed in purple at 3:16 in red shown through her? Beatrice. What year and where? I mean would this, oh could this be the Mayan calender prediction? Fall City 2012. Then the 2 grey's. I hadn't conscientiously remembered seeing them since fifth and sixth grade.

The Dance/GB
In Baton Rogue Louisiana on 4/5/1800 Thomas Jefferson saw a red crimson UFO. George Washington went into the forest in 1880 to pray and was approached by a gray. This gray showed him a map of the future states. He marked each state that was to come with a drop of water. In Kelso Washington I was a drip or a drop in my school play. Third grade Barnes school. It was on Ross street. I had the red room in the attic. My brother sat in juvie just up the road and during that time I didn't even know. I walked up that road on my own time and time again. I'd get to a certain point stop and turn back around.

When You Say Nothing At All/AK
I had a cowboy whittling wood standing behind me, my new watcher. I'd sit up at night and watch a rainbow egg floating up on my left. My peanut, because it's all about those nuts, you dingalings, Jimmy Carter asked during his term for information on the E.T.'s and was denied access. Jimmy Carter looks like my stepdad Jerry. I lived in Sunnyvale California and doesn't Conan remind you of Sunny Jim? That kid on the front of the peanut butter jar. After I moved to the orphanage for lost mothers at the gateway I got taken through the nut tree's. Then I discover Nut and Nuit. It started to dawn on me the east Indian kid I met in Sunnyvale, his name was Suniel. All those suns in my life God? Now bring me the real son so we can get this done.

He Walked On Water/RT
When I got a flash of what someone called the annunaki I got a flash of the photo I took of the stump. The title of that blog? The Entity. The sphinx is on Mars and he came alone before the 3 pyramids in Giza. When I saw the documentary of the destruction on the sphinx face and that the theory was that it was a dog? I laughed because that's the Jackal. It was the names that took me back to the two sisters? What these two sisters are protecting? Then I remembered my mother and my crazy aunt Hoogie. It's hard to figure this family branch out. I keep calling Thoth my one eyed watcher. That is Horus. Turns out my Horus was with me from the beginning. I knew nothing about the watchers when I heard "your being watched." Duh! I couldn't miss that black truck. It showed up around me everyday and on this day I had two. I wasn't paranoid. I was aware and that is why I felt safety in numbers. I'd stay out in the open. The more the merrier I like to say.

I'd love you all over again/AJ
I have four alien races that the world does know about. The Reptilians are known as violent. They live underground. This reminds me of the movie Tremors God. I hated that movie. They are known to live underground. The depression's in the earth and the tunnels? Is it like an ant farm God or is this the reptilian race coming back to make a play for the human race. I know I am One With All. All I know is a got a few bad apples in every batch from the bottom up. I keep going back to that photo of the entity. I'm not sure if it's the reptilian or the annunaki anymore God? The annunaki's Mars and gold God? Then the grays, the watchers that would creep and crawl around my room and shake my bed when I'd fall asleep? I'd sleep with my arms across my chest like a mummy. I felt like they wanted to stake me in my sleep. Like in the movies when they kill a vampire. I figured out these things were around fourth to sixth grade. Around my brothers death. Christmas time age seventeen, he escaped and wanted to come home? My mother yelled at him no I wish you'd just go off and die. He did. After I heard her on the phone calling him a bad seed. Talk about a river of denial.

When It rains it pours/LC
The Arcturians communicate through mediums. OMG then I have the Nordics God? That doesn't count the angels, and this flock of birds I can't seem to get straight. Awareness wise looking back I started out with Horus,Thoth I kept confusing as the one eyed one. The cause for my migraines? The cause of my great grandmothers migraines? The curse of the all seeing one eye, being blocked with pain? Then Osiris, then later Set came along. Now Set and the plagues sent a shock wave though me. If their is a plague coming God, I have to prevent this plague somehow. Can I? Do I? Is this the end we need to begin anew? I don't know what to do with all this God? I mean Buzz Aldrich, the nines again God? The Eagle has landed their three call handles? Fire, Bogey and Santa. Buzz said he had spaceships lined up on the other side of the crater. I recon the point is we all came from somewhere in all walks of life, living through all of us right here.  Awareness is key. The key to your inner kingdom inside you. The agreement I made, showed me they were there all along. All those crazy characters in my family tree of life. Having character is a good thing people. Having a machine do a character assassination on your character defects? Hold you in purgatory over it? Is not a cure, its a label, and hey a new crime to feed the machine for your life.

She's Got It All/KC
It's about Freedom. We can't have free will without freedom. Can't have freedom with out free will. Can't have freedom to have free will to make choices unless we know whom our guides are and whose guiding us. Try to remember God is the creation. He is energy. He is light. He has provided the human race with truth in all walks of life. We can't have evolution and be free to explore without the truth of what is out there and what is in here. We are the descendants, we are energy inside these shells. You will not take me for granted anymore. You will not steal from me. You cowardly lions hear me roar.  You will not lie about me, I will not carry your fears or your jaded hearts no more. You will not stomp on my heart and kick me in the ribs when I'm down just so you can carry on with your fun and games, destroying my light, my life, my rock, no more. I am Lady Justice. I am an O.W.A.L. I am "The One With All walks of Life." Their will never be another one like me because I am a one of a kind. I'm the diamond of this rock, I ascend from that emerald city, and well those rubies, gemstones and twinkling little stars belong to me and mine. That milky way and heavens gates belong to me and mine. It's about that gateway isn't it God?

Everywhere
You moved me to Kent my first home. I didn't even know that until three years ago. The Gateway, home of the lions. My T.O.L. felt great for two months then as soon as I got to the Gateway my T.O.L. started collapsing again. I knew nothing about Heavens Gates and this mythical T.O.L. I carry on me. I haven't even gotten to the two sisters and what they represent on this rock? I haven't gotten to Lucifer and God? The discussion and agreement that was made about Job? Imagine this one? I couldn't believe he was the Adversary? Get him off my rock God. Let's get rid of the garbage. Get rid of the rif raf. Begin anew, with truth. Rebuild this foundation from the ground up the right way. Lets bring the level of quality up by getting rid of all these middlemen micromanaging everything. I want to begin anew with a quality life for all. We begin from truth and light and we grow from truth and light. Plant a new garden of life with the whole family this time God.










She's Every Woman/GB







More Than You'll Ever Know/Travis Tritt

Whiskey Lullaby

Whiskey Lullaby/AK
I am so mad at God for that last emotional roller coaster ride of emotions. Talk about cuts like a knife straight through the heart. I was wondering when my day started out, if I'm on the right path? My morning with Michail was classic A. Classic ASS people. Classic dumb ass. I mean you know in Shrek the donkey? Let's just say he was smarter, allot more motivated and definitely a lot more fun. We had a plan. In one hour of being up all he had accomplished was "oh well I'll do it tomorrow."

Should Of Been A Cowboy
Sitting at Wendy's, wondering which way to go? Home and start all over? To the library? Finally have stuff ready to print. On the memory stick, ready to go? The doctor, gotta get directions. Wouldn't you know it my phone does not compute? Sweet Mother Mary of Jesus Christ get me off this mother flocking rock before I explode already. Then this happened, I'll just type, try not to improvise or go off road.

That's What I Love About Sunday's C/M
Am I on the right track today? I just don't know how to read the sign's? I was going to Church's Chicken. Never been there. Then I changed my mind, pressed for time and all. Besides the deciding factor was was the advertising on the window's, dark meat.

Would You Go With Me/JT
So I hopped the A line not knowing where to go? Then I remember Wendy's. Standing there waiting to order , the next name called out was Kai. Then the cashier said my name was pretty. No one has ever said that before. Then I ask for the keys to the bathroom door, she holds up four fingers and she said four nines. Guess what I ordered? Four chicken fingers. Yup surey Bob sure did. Casting my family spell. I'm such a scary little devil.

Spirit Of A Boy/Wisdom Of A Man RT
Just before this going through the names from my past I started to cry. The kitchen she pushed me, her daughter's name River. Sara this morning in the parking lot her fear her husband, her marriage, and of all things his mental health? I tried to tell her I let him vent Sara, I understand. The blame game? The sister? The friend? The mother? Just trying to finish my blog from before and God pulls this shit. Those sisters. It started in the beginning with two sisters. Those twin towers. The Sun God Ra and His daughter?

I Just Want To Dance With You
God how do I tell my children their father is the King of Slave drivers. The slave driver of the universe standing right here on this rock? Primal instincts? That garden? Survival tips? Being married to the beast, I don't know anymore if it's good news or bad news?

Stick And Stones/TL
Small Town Southern Man/AJ

Live Like You Are Dying/TM
OMG! It's one p.m. and I've been on hold for two minutes now. Weather a corporate office likes it or not we are all getting things done at lunch time. Three minutes now. Not another good moment, getting lost. I have the directions. All I have to do is put in the address on trip planner and well wouldn't you know it it does not compute. First way does not come up on search. First Avenue does. I don't want to get lost? Get on the wrong bus? Going in the wrong direction again? Nope not me. You'd think I'd get the hang of this by now? I hung up after five minutes. My four fingers are getting cold.

Better Than I used To Be/TM
Visiting Angels Northwest on the commercial when I turned on my head phones. I looked down on the ground and there you see the cards that say Sorry and a 2 card on each side. I took pictures of the next numbers and the next. Of all cards IC today? Is sorry a good sign today? Another day of misery? Another day of pain? Another day of purgatory sitting here in my wishing well of hell? Standing in my own river of tears. Things just got worse after this. Bloody hell, bloody rivers, blood moon red monsoon. Red Rock Road, Golden walkways, emerald city, with ivory towers.

Every Light In The House/TA
You've Been To Gone/RT
A crazy guy stops in front of me in a sea-hawks shirt. Facing south, takes his two index fingers, criss crosses them and taps them together two times. Swings his thumb out to his right toward me like he's hitching a ride. Does a shuh and walks on. Weird flocking day that's for sure.

She's In Love With The Boy/TY
I hop the A line, and I spy with my little eye number 6017 then the song comes on "The Cowboy In Her. Big pink Sweet Cheeks drive by and I break down with my right hand on my heart. It was my nieces wedding? The one I never knew I had? Curtis P spit his beer in my face about a home.

Is this the light God? Is this the angel I can count on? Do you know how hard it is to speak the truth and no one knows who I am? Just a loser just an outcast with my backpack on my back. They took me back to Sara and the name blame that's coming back around. The marriage, this house, this home?

I Lost It/KC No literally I lost it when this song started playing. Sitting alone at the A-line outside Woodmont Library. Sometimes Gods love and light, the answer to my prayers. I'm so angry it hurts so bad. Kelly Jo and her brother Michael and my Michael? Death is knocking on the door and he's here for my rock. That's how close to the edge we really are.

Paint Me a Birmingham/TL
True love God? How about the real deal? The real Tender Loving Care God. I could really use the real thing right now God. So What I got a XYZ running through my core? Every letter of the alphabet hanging off every branch? That sword stuck down my center with that snake twisting around me is it you God or is it him? Some days I never know which way to swing? This little a I made, sure did turn into a big A God. Now how about we turn my little oh into a HO HO HO? How about a little tender loving care to light my fire? Come on Big Daddy Woodburn, lets go back to the garden.

Run/GS
I'm hating you right now. These cleansing's really hurt. They are now showing me two Michael's dead. Not just Kelly's little brother but Dawne's baby brother. Oh God I hate you for this. Of all places God? A ticket taker at a movie theater he was shot in a robbery. Bam a car crash one Michael dead God? Then Bam God another Michael another baby brother dead God? Then the other red head God? Stacy Gleason born July 11, 1967. It was cemetery road she went through a windshield. Teenage drinking and driving. Addiction is the set up to wipe out humanity. That scarlet letter A and the blame game? Whose gonna pay God?

Red Dirt Road/Brooks and Dunn
Ariel my fallen angel it's about her house, her home, this animal kingdom and her circle of life. She provided to feed all her angels, all her beasties, all her stars.
She Don't Know She's Beautiful

Peace In The Valley/RT
Venting my anger, my rage. Telling God how much I hate Him for this emotional roller coaster ride. My tears runneth over my rock, my son, my family, my pride.

Mess Me Up/GA
I See It Now/TL
Angel transformer, red rocks, black feathers, twin towers? Do you really think God is going to release you into the universe without your eagle? Without your wings? Do you really think that Big Daddy upstairs is going to release heaven on earth without giving you your wings first?

Forever And Ever Amen/RT

Home

Home/Daughtry
To think I was about ready to change my Pandora off from shuffle. Then this song came on and it was just the right note. Heaven on earth baby. Come hell or high water I don't know what they have planned for me and mine? I just don't care anymore. Things got deeper in the last few day's with Set and the plagues? I didn't know what Genocide meant when I wrote it a few weeks back? It breaks my heart it really does.

Because You Loved Me/CD
His mate Nephthys (ISIS sister) and then well over here I've got Thoth is the moon God of wisdom and healing a scribe from down under. All those mother flocking birds and what they represent in my family tree? Then I finally heard what it was that Lucia said when Mary made her last known appearance in history? The date the Catholic church released this tid bit of information 2000. What the circumstances were in more detail? What is in the paintings with JC and Mary? What the titles of these paintings are? What they represent today?

The Queen Of Hearts/JN
Some proof of lights tear me up inside. Imagine that the year the system blatantly took over the human race and got us to blatantly defend it, feed it, justify it and honor it's bad behavior. Why Him and why me? Tears of joy. Tears of Truth. Tears of Justice. Last but not least tears of pain and sorrow. My tears are for your fears, not mine. The beginning of the end. Tears of joy and tears of laughter I'm ready for.

Magic/ONJ
The Joker? The fool you say? She's crazy? Back to the box? Back to the reservation you need to go? So you can kill me off in one clean swoop right along with the rest of the herd right? These black sheep are so crazy? They are off their med's? They are off their rocker? We gotta a way to shut these people off? We got just the thing for all this pain? All this depression? All these zombies whom are unworthy to be fed? All these human shells, who created? Funny I got lost again yesterday. I reported to the wrong institution? I spy with my little eye a certain genre of names in a certain sequence, spinning around asking myself again "oh no which way do I go? Where am I? How do I get back?" I take four photos. Number one, Salmonux. Number two Valor Security. Number three, add a little Sagemax to the mix. Then number four Olympic Aerospace. That was just the photo's as I turned around a Mountain Mist truck stops right in front of me. How many Horsemen do I have now? I never said what shape or form my family is coming back in?

Drivin' My Life Away/ER
Oh yeah I learned something new? How a nightmare got it's name and when? Their's more that one reason why I called Dave Mayer the faceless man in the beginning? More than one way to skin a cat? He gave me his own answer to his own demon? He couldn't call him off using Jesus Christ name? Why didn't that name cast him off? He paralyzes you in your sleep. He is heavy on your chest you can't breath or speak. When you wake up the viper has bitten. Is this the sixth black horse IC? Is this the one I keep backing away from when I wake up? Is this the black horse of my nightmares? Is it black beauty? My beast? My black shadow? My nightmare or yours? Friend or Foe? I don't know? Was it all just training day? Uhm God, what branch does this faceless man really descend from?

Born On The Bayou/CCWR
Hey we all got to eat right? We all go to make a living right? The unemployment numbers are all bullshit too? It doesn't say what kind of jobs people are having to take? It doesn't say how many jobs it takes for one to have a roof over their head? It doesn't add in all the other fee's like fleas in each service today? I love the way advertising does the numbers? They waste more in ink explaining the buy more and save more bullshit. It's bargain. It's a ploy, it's a scam. You know what God, I thought we did away with all these clubs back in the 60's and 70's but now look what we have here? We can all join a club? Well hell lets see what we have roaming around in this "Cement paradise I like to call hell."

The Glory Of Love/BM
We got all these tiny boxes out here in paradise, IC they got us cornered with every kind of drug store on every corner, their to offer their services, their way in their time according to their guidelines. In each one of these places they are all owned by the same corporations under different affiliates. Yet to make it convenient they offer different insurances in different places to help out the human race? When I was at the orphanage I called this stop the four corners of hell? The numbers change and it all looks the same? Doctors and insurance companies. Crazy thing is for such a controlled institution it's the most fucked up mess at all these counters that have just the program, just the cure? Don't blow your stack, your the crazy one, or you wouldn't be out here in the first place if it wasn't for us. We're doing all we can to justify blanketing you and burying you under? To shut you all down in our Institution's? If this isn't love, honor and service I don't know what is? To sell our souls and make it legal? Who pays now?

Californication/RHCP
Know why it's a hell care system? They have to be the bottom line of defense against all these bottom feeders. Hell lets runs em ragged through all your red-tape to get the most basic service? That liability and all that red tape final hand off is up to these people. They close for lunch, turn off electricity to save power? They are short handed of all institutions, this one is shorthanded?  The biggest profit and loss institution right here. They have the gull to hold the keys to the restroom door? They hold the keys to the most basic item that the human race needs. Mrs Laws and the indignity sure does ring a bell. They are the controlled substance Institution, they are the supply and demand. They are the middlemen that created all this hell on both sides of the human race. It's all right here the shop lifters, who have to do their part in one little Shop of Horrors right out in the open. 

Gloria/LB
The excuse the need for all this liability insurance, to use a restroom? They are making everyone feel guilty on all sides to cover an insurance. An institution that came in and created itself and they get to charge us for this fee. Every business has a loss ratio, they used to have to pay their own bills for this insurance, yet they created the industry, the mark up and the fee to feed itself and use the human race that they placed in all these institution's to pay this fee. The liability insurance for being human and they control everything right here and what one sees when they walk in it is only one part of what you see.

Annie's Song/AM
When you know about insurance and corporate America this once again isn't rocket science people. Its a conglomerate and institution that our Governments didn't put a cap on long ago, because they'd have to put a cap on themselves, our lawyers, our hospitals and banks they protected. Our red white and blue whom are still all worried about whose gonna pay and whose gonna take the blame in their fucked up Monopoly game they play in all these institutions? Our justice system jumped on board. Create false witness right boys? Give false testimony? He whom pro-testeth to much right boys?

It's A Heartache/BT
They created the markup and demand, the guidelines and rules on breathing, pain, and antiviral's vs. bacteria. This institution is the reason for all the pain medication addiction, they created the imbalance with all their guidelines and rules on medications. They flooded these doctors, then they blamed the doctors and the human race. Used Michael Jackson's death as a public example. Like that man wasn't put through enough to feed your tabloids? One part of an institution.

We Belong/PB
Then they rewrote the standards on pain and pain medication. Imagine that they helped us again by creating more institutions on pain management which we have had all along. This institution picked and chose everything and we all jumped onto that stock didn't we in the 80's and 90's? They did what they have always done over and over. Throw us the human race a bone, do all this advertising and marketing on pain and care, it is only talking about one part of the issue all the while they use depressants to manage pain now? They in the meantime stole everything our land, poisoned it sold off the lots and marked it up. The Truth behind all these zombie Apocalypse movies.

Blue Bayou/LR
Create supply and demand right boys? Reel you in get your claws in and keep feeding it right? Then you pull it, keep you hurting and take the blame? You pull it. Keep you phishing, keep you always wanting and needing more all the while you cut back and keep pulling, then you release the line, let the fish gain a little distance. Let it think it got away? Grant you a little freedom? Then you show up at my door? You show up all happy? Just here to help you pay your debt? Got to pay for this service? Got to pay for all your institutions somehow?

Nobody/S
You institutionalize, label, keep the chain of command and the poison flowing right boys? Then you fine them for your mess over and over? Your the dragon aren't you. You aren't a brotherhood with all your clubs and you ain't no brother in my garden either. I gotta a dragon to sleigh is that right daddy? Nope this Mary Mary ain't quite contrary. I'm not happy with this dome of poison you created.

Love's Been Hard On Me/JN
This is your Gin people. We allowed an institution to come in and place themselves in charge of the human race all under the guise of help. It is rampant today when someone gets injured at work or in an accident the insurance company has written the blanket guideline on pain management. They send you around and around to all these doctors that do nothing and then if you miss an appointment with anything your claim is closed? Must not be hurting that bad if you missed an appointment? You hurt and you still have a life but only on their terms in their time? That is what they want, is to close that claim as soon as they can on an injury.

Daydream Believer/AM
We sold out Workman's comp to private institutions and their is no service. How our government could let this go for so many years is inexcusable. These people are hurting and the whole time they are being harassed to keep moving and to keep reporting with very little if any pain management and they harass you to shut down your claim. Then we the human race is left holding the bag. This is how and why we have all these issues with drugs today. You allowed an institution to re-write the guidelines and treatment on pain to make the human race fit in your box and when they can't function and they tell you we can't function, we are repressed emotionally and hurt physically.

The Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
You are turning them into jelly fish and then you put them on more antidepressants to cover the side effects or boosters for emotions, and they still hurt. Then you send them to a psychiatrist or counselor because it says here on this paper on this blanket study that you don't hurt? You need to go see a psychiatrist. One friend gave an example of how his pain felt. He used the example of someone hitting you in the leg with a base ball bat and telling you you don't hurt, to keep going. This doctor said, 'Oh your threatening me he said no, I used that as an example. I will give you another example so he used the example very calmly again of a car wreck. This doctor gets up and gets security. Comes back in the room and tells him he needs to be admitted for an assessment for his anger issues.

Angel Of The Morning/JN
What started this? Joey had the audacity to ask his own medical doctor after one year of care what have you done for me? This man came from Canada with no skin on his testicles for this rock. All this political bullshit is done. He started out by asking her how long has she been in charge of his care now and what have you done for me in that one year? Her answer was I got you housing. Joey said no you didn't that was an affiliate of this program. You are my doctor what have you done for me in one year? Joey went down how much these drugs have fucked him up emotionally.

Islands In The Stream/KRDP
That he is stuck in his box and cannot function. That he has so much anger inside him from the pain. Then he gave an example of what it feels like and she turns it into a mental issue? This is what happens when we speak the truth. We are always told, Oh well you shouldn't of said that or you shouldn't of did that. Now we have some kind of code to speak now? If you can't be an adult and own up to the fact that you signed on to make someone else fit in a box so you can get paid, go home? While someone else can't pay their bills let alone function? We keep giving them a negative label and we jail them and fine them don't we? Keep feeding the machine right?

I Love A Rainy Night/ER
My pain is in my spine, it is not a neurological disease. It is pinched muscles causing this pain from my weak Tree Of Life, you in this hell care system weakened it. You were more concerned about a future liability and insurance more than you were about me and mine. I came to you over and over. I sat in your boxes. I did the leg work, I paid and I paid and today you don't want to know all that you have stolen from me? My right to speak the truth without being told I am lying or minimizing? You look at that X-ray and tell me I don't hurt? I do not hurt the way you want me to hurt, on your time on Michails dime anymore. I do not feel guilty for being human and hurting anymore.  Whose your liability now? Whose gonna pay for this hot mess now?

The Sweetest Thing/JN
It is not a pain in my mind. It is not a dysfunction or disability of my heart nor mind. It is my muscles and skeleton that has been twisting away like a corkscrew while everything else goes pop, pop, pop. That's my Tree Of Life, those are my families branches that you chose to write off, killing off this rock. My children and my right to live a quality life, you stole from me and mine. Yes God has emotions. Emotions are a healthy thing. You bet your sweet ass God is angry. He is angry that you are all so closed minded that you choose the pollution to survive and it is so clearly written in every sect he's coming back full throttle and he's bringing all the family this time. Had you listened to me from the start I can honestly say being who I am, you fucked up. I got just the box for you. You try to kill off this rock, you are trying to kill off God's flock. If you think he doesn't have the right to take offense to that? The right to be offended at your defense mechanism you use today? Not a very humanely advanced system I would say God.

You're The One That I Want/ONJ

The Gambler/KR
When I turned on the TV at 3 a.m. it was Twins. Heaven on earth baby. Gods got a reservation to take back this rock. I'm game. Now I'm not a gambling woman, but I'd have to say the odds are in my favor whose gonna win this last go around. Pull the trigger baby, light me up, light my heart on fire. Bring on the fire, bring on the rain.

Seven Year Ache/RC
The only card game I liked to play was Sequence, just like my life, just like my dreams. God's plan is in sequence, he's in sync with his rock, his light, his wife.

Poor Poor Pitiful Me/LR
I Just Fall In Love Again/AM
Yeah God rise Hope up and drop her to the ground again? My broken heart can't take much more. My babies, I accept I'm the sacrifice. Standing outside this morning under the moon I go back to how my rose garden came about? Why I stood out in the storm tearing up all the roots while Greg and my babies watched. It was that rose garden. My neighbor with the white cross year around, got mad at me because he expected a huge puppy to behave like Lady in the same circumstances. My little dogs did the same thing everyday in my yard and the only thing that changed was Lady passed away. He gets an untrained aggressive puppy to replace her. Stuck her out back on her own expecting her to know what to do? How to behave? Of course he thought my little dogs looked like just the right size chew toy to play catch and release with. Shake by the throat.

Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue/CG
Did I complain? No I just kept having conversations trying to keep the peace and filling his holes with more rocks. I wanted a rose garden like my Aunt Ingrid had in Castle Rock. After he yelled fuck you to me after his big dog tore through a fence in thirty seconds and bit down on my pregnant dogs head. Gave her a bloody nose. I explained nicely to this neighbor again your dog not only got out he attacked my dog. Irony this one. The religious one with the year around white cross hanging in front of his garage. Talk about passive aggressive and a bully. To get revenge he went out and dug up my rose garden. The one we just agreed I could plant. The tree's I had taken out were right on the line anyways. They wreaked more havoc than they did good at the time for both sides.

Every Little Thing/CC
I found my Bruno. It wasn't just Popeye and Olive Oil. It seems Bruno was the first man whom was burned on the stake by the Catholic Church for Heirachy. It was 1600 and he spoke the Truth but the Catholic Church didn't like his theory about God and the heavenly stars we descend from. They burned the witches at the stake. I learned how the term faggot came along. Irony of all people CK Lewis in his show? When they burned the witches the threw the faggots on and burned them too. Hence the burning of the fag and all this depression. Who are you to choose love? Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

Cast Iron Heart/Blackhawk down brother. 
Who are you to judge God, his children, and destroy the heart with something ain't none of you know nothing about? You destroy this rock and feed the wrong institution, a machine. Ye have little Faith. I know why they call the bird on the top of the totem pole Thunderbird? What's on the boob tube? What is it feeding me? The Hunger Games; Catching Fire Katniss Everdeen? The wedding dress and Mr. Snow? Who's the hunter? Whose the game? What sun does this rock revolve around? What more have I learned about the different birds of prey in my family tree of life? I gotta do something while I'm laid up. I started to wonder about all these presidents there personal and political roles in their lives? What do each one have to do with this? What am I missing? What am I missing about these men? How do they relate to this hot mess? Politics vs religion? That's a loaded topic? Who really holds the reign's? Free will? Freedom vs. politics vs the law vs. Truth and Justice today? Whose really behind that black star God? Look what came out on Netflix? The Unsealed Alien Files. The first season 19 minutes and on down the line I go getting answers closer to the Truth and those twin towers?

Alone/Heart
Cracking The Code? That Binary Code that turned that 01/01/01 into a fourth element the human race didn't expect to take over? The one the human race assigned it it's own number too. The computer the machine, our fourth 01 in that binary code. It's not human. What is the other 01 is there a fifth element in all this? Their are four chambers to a heart. Yet we have five senses and I am a descendant of that five star family. We humans have five senses. What is the sixth sense? I mean it's common knowledge that when we lose one of our senses another one of our senses heightens.

Sunshine On My Shoulders/JD
Who is that fifth prong? Is it the Atom? The one really doing all this writing the true power behind my pen? Is it that Atom venting my rage or is it his rage? The B in this family chain whose the Beast in my family tree of life? Could it be that other Big C that moves me along? You know my creation? Whose the creator of the storms and the plagues? Whose the D in this fight? Whose the Dog of this rock? All this fight over the other E=M3 square IC. Quantum leap or quantum physics? Two steps back or two steps forward today I never know? We as the human race are moving out of phase four. The sleep dimension and we are going into the fifth dimension the awakening. When I heard the guy say "to communicate with an alien would unlock the key to the universe?" Turns out we are all a little alien and we are all from the cosmos. 

You're No Good/LR
I want the human race to stop feeding that black space of virtual reality all to go in my landfills. Your kingdom and Truth is inside you. That ladder is written in your code, your own DNA. God empowers that little light, that little star wants to to shine. To be set free to make choices without all the fines and fees. Without all the purgatory and the excuse of depression. Depression is the Gin. The goal is to drain your energy and it don't care how it hooks you up. It uses any excuse of fatigue to depress you simply by making life harder with all this supply and demand. They are using our bodies and running the human race ragged to feed the machine, but hey we look good playing all these games and getting all these T.V. stars to jump on board and sell sell sell those credit cards. Snoop Dog, Jokers Wild? Hey leave Pluto alone I like my dogs just fine. Smoke a little J. play the game of Monopoly or the other lie the other game, Life? This life we have is being ran by a machine, a corporation. 

Cast Iron Heart/Blackhawk
Beijing China, Brussels Belgium, Washington D.C., Los Angela's CA. It started in 1896.
The Devils triangle, Los Angela's, Long Beach and Catalina Island. We went to first war in US history with a UFO on 2/25/1942. We had just entered WWII. Military called it an air balloon. We the flock went "okay" and moved forward. Truman signed a national treaty to keep the Truth hidden. Two decades later JFK was just inaugurated and he wanted to speak the Truth about this enigma. The  pink elephant in the world and 2 days later he was shot and killed. Another conspiracy theory God?

Then Jacob Vanderburg was shooting a movie with a dummy missile, an E.T. shows up circles three times around it, with three beams of light and destroys it. On 11/8/2010 a UFO shoots out of the ocean. Seven years and 11 days ago. Yesterday was Keith's D.O.B. and I loved the numbers. Three domes discovered under the water the size of a football field. Could this be why something is going to rise out of the water God?

Half The Way/Crystal Gayle
1936 Hitler was in control of Germany. Michael Freeburg (another name from my school) a scientist and the Hellsburg Castle. Decode ship and turn into a weapon. Astarian scientist and inventor of the anti-gravity technology. The vortex, the propulsion. Pull energy forward and in like a hurricane right boys? Shut the window, close the door, we go from three to four. You put us to sleep and stole the garden and the land. Poison the food and control the medicine IC. What is it going to take for number five to shut down this four once and for all God? Could it be a little Atom mixed with a great big Adam? These are the two twin towers.

He'll Never Take The Place Of You/Tammy Wynette
On 10/13/1917 Fatima (Famine)Portugal during WWI a mass UFO sighting with 70,000 witnesses. The rain stopped and the clouds parted. Three children approached a diamond shaped object with rose petals falling to the ground. It was the last message that Lucia gave to the Catholic church "flaming swords and demons that come in the form of frightful and unknown animals." What have I said all along. Not my problem you wrote off all those wives tales and folk lore's as fiction? It has been made very clear the beasties came before us. That circle of life and well we don't die. Whether you like it or not we are not the highest beings on this rock, just like Bruno told the Catholic church. It's the Truth that we buried under for all the wrong hierarchy and political power that created this mess through out time. The price tag on Truth certainly has created all this false witness. Shalom.

Could I Have This Dance/AM
Shall I get into the Truth and the timeline of the early christian art? The Truth in the pictures and the titles? More Proof Of Life in my royal family that you have enslaved and lied about all these centuries? These paintings are from the 1400"s and you burn Bruno at the stake in 1600? Just making very clear the lies and mess we created today. The curses in the dates. It's not just the Catholic church I'm pointing my finger at.

1. The Madonna Of San Geo Vanino and in the background of this renaissance painting from the 1400's is a craft in the sky.

2. The Miracle Of The Snow. I love this one God. Jesus and Mary above, below them all these flying disc. Our family people whom we descend from. We all live on this rock. All these flying disc are flying over what looks like Rome and Egypt. Isn't that right God? Those crazy Egyptians God? Got to send those crazy Egyptians back to the reservation? Got to send those crazy Egyptian ancestor's back to the white sands. Blood moon red monsoons

3. The Baptism Of Christ, painted in 1710. Shows a flying saucer on both sides of JC hanging on that cross. The cosmos, the angels, the aliens, the stars, the universe and planet are boundless. God is the creation of all flocks of energy. Energy is the Atoms in different life forms that live through us and communicate with us through us. We are all receivers and I'll just bet we are all travelers. Out dreams are a part of whom we are. Our emotions joy and tears are my families prayers. What are you hungry for food or love? Those are the two staples my family give you to begin anew. What we plant and what we sow, is up to us the human race. The machines serve us. Our justice system serves us. We don't serve them not this way. One seed of love and light feeds a family, a tribe for lifetimes. God is angry that you took everything good and turned it into bad. You lied about everything, you poisoned everything because of all this high cost of separation and redlining.

Lucille/Kenny Rogers

Somebody Loves You/Crystal Gayle

We Just Disagree/Dave Mason
You allowed every separate entity to run itself in all different walks of life. Create it's own laws and rules in each sect. That is the poison behind each institution is the lies. The lies we keep to keep protecting something that isn't human and it's not our own. Not this entity, being or human. Satan is a deceptive fuck. He's the Gin. Feed the heart, feed the human race and you feed Gods flock.

We Are The Champions/Queen
Stairway To Heaven/LZ
Lightening Crashes

Little Wonders

Little Wonders/RT
I lost my Angel Raphael last week. I found him in an obscure location and I picked him up with some garbage in my hand. Nothing ever seems to happen on a good day, at a good time for me. It just happened to be the day I got my migraine to kick back a notch, just long enough for me to get into town to reload. Now I have to stand outside the dumpster and empty all my garbage out piece by piece. You know why we find things in the last place we look? It's the last place we look. At the bottom he lay in all those coffee grounds. I'm not even sure when he came into my life, it's hard to say because I knew I started out with a flock of angels especially Ariel.

Never Gonna Be Alone/NB
All I knew about Ariel was she was the angel of animal's and our home. Redhead for sure. I didn't even know about Ares the other Greek God then. I'm not even sure if I put together that I am an Aries, a ram. Raphael brought me back to my Angels 101. The book I used in the beginning. It had all the numbers 0 through 9. It covered what the different colors meant. I knew the colors had something to do with my children, that pink and red. Looking at it I see I have placed some things in here like one would a bible. Little things I'd get handed or I'd find along my path that meant something good. A bit more hope never hurt to keep me moving along.

Mr. Jones/CC
What my mind had been going back to was Metatron? His picture and how he came back around through the angels in the last couple of weeks? Even in the book of angels names circle back around just like they do in all those books of hope. The last laugh is that Book Of Enoch that you wrote off. They just keep coming back around around in this family Tree Of Life.

Happy/UK
Don't know the joke yet but I like the punch line "Oh Oh here comes the Book Of Enoch." My family tree people. I want you to remember whom my baby girls uncle is before any of you think about touching them or deciding whats best for them. My children are not here for your entertainment and they are not your performers. They work for me and my family not you and yours. Not until this is done and they know the Truth of their Destiny. For now on you are not going to decide their fate. After they know the Truth, Faith will walk them through. They don't need your jaded fearful hearts making choices for them based on your fears.

When It Rains It Pours/LC
Second Chance/Shinedown
Home/Daughtry
Sitting here reading the angel names and their duties of service to this rock. Remember God created the angels first. Once again going back around it seems I forgot the meaning of Ariel's name "lioness of God." She helps supply for our physical needs such as money, shelter and supplies. This was how I knew that whatever I went through I would be provided for on this journey. This was how I was able to let my daily needs go. The will in willing to keep me moving. She assist with environmental causes. Imagine that? Oh no not God's flock of angels? You mean they are androgynous flock of beings? Flock of energy? Flock of light? His first born when you really think about it.

Calling All Angels/Train
Ariel's role is the care and healing of animals and look at this her Archangel is Raphael. This is how I learn something new everyday. I happen to have a little deity that is a Raphael angel. His Angelic realm is the Thrones. That explains all this sitting on the wrong John bullshit. They burned up our internal organs from the inside. Their is a part I found in one of these big books of Jesus Christ and The Matrix? So we  aren't just reporting to a machine with no heart, we funded it with all this pollution on our internal organs? Our soil, seed and air? You now understand why you on this rock are not the watchers? They aren't about profit and loss ratio's upstairs. Our watchers are free. God/Goddess watchers don't poison you and have you keep paying for it. That is not my families way.

Gotta Be Somebody/NB
Historically Ariel is associated with King Solomon and the Gnostic's who believed that Ariel ruled the winds. That explains so much.

Not To Late/3 Days Grace
Azrael means "whom God helps." This is the guy that God sent His Angel to let off the chain. That would be me. He was a big bald guy. I had these dreams years ago. I just never knew the ending until this last year when God took me back. Then I found that line in a bible. That was another Holy shit moment. Another Proof Of Life, that I didn't want to know nor do I recall asking. Azrael helps bring departed souls to Heaven, heals the grief stricken and he assist those healing the bereaved. He is regarded as the "angel of death." That makes sense doesn't it people? He is associated with Raphael and King Solomon. I don't know if I said this but King Solomon has something to do with our salmon and the sea. I didn't know who he was in the beginning but he's the guy with the Trident, that I had no clue what it meant when I named my little black dog Trident. Then their is the Trident that I used to pin down Freya's green worm tail to the ground. "I told her to stay there until I knew what to do with her. At least I didn't kill her off? Lucy had some splainin' to do.

Free Fallin/TP
Hanging By A Moment/Lifehouse
Chamuel  means "s/he whom sees God." Well this one explains allot? Heals anxiety and brings about global and personal peace. Chamuel has to do with the chameleon side of my personality. The ability to blend and watch people from the outside. It's amazing looking back through my life I'm standing right there. I was right in front of you and still I'd have to raise a hand, do a little wave "hello. That's me."
Amen/Kid Rock
Helps find lost objects (I've certainly been treated as an object and been objectified in my life) lost situations and people? I never knew I was lost but I certainly was found. To be a chosen one isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when they put you to sleep so I don't respond, then make me play catch up. Catch up not only on my own life, but the ones that come before. On and on it goes. I'm still questioning this blessing in disguise myself. Chamuel is considered the leader of the angelic realm known as the powers. I see God sent in the big guns. He's one of the ten Sephiroth archangels of the Kabbalah which means he governs a pathway of the Kabbalistic Tree Of Life (a mystical explanation of creation).

I'm Not Leaving/UK
Now if that's not a slap in the face? I'm a myth God? Your Tree Of Life which is written in more than one big book of hope is a myth? Could it be because you dumbshits couldn't figure out this rock is your life line to everlasting life? That it feeds you and your children not just a few people. This planet, this rock, that "Mother Mary and God" (two energies as one, the alpha the omega, the yin and yang) gave you for everlasting life. Not my problem none of you figured out God and Mother Nature are energy. They are science, they are your creators either way you shake a stick at it 01,01. They do not part right along with the other 01 in that trinity, God.

Chasing Cars/Snow Patrol
Let me explain before I blow my top, you do know that in some of these big books it's the Jewish names and language, right? Instead you wrote the whole thing off instead of seeing some good in it. I notice that in all things in this system and these big books. It's the high price of the ego. It's the cost and label we as human beings placed on Truth that's been mass produced. That is why as I've met people whom are from different religions or I attended a function, I kept the good in each sect and left the parts I didn't understand or that I disagreed with behind.

Creep/Radiohead
Which were the rules and rituals. I hung out with a young woman whom was the oldest of three daughters. They were a practicing Mormon family. She followed the family expectations and timelines. Marriage, children, school, a home and I never saw a young girl more lonely and exhausted. Her own needs weren't being met. It was really all about the man and the mans time when he was off work. I didn't see myself as any different than her in my own home. I could see her family but they couldn't see Jenifer, nor could my in-laws see me. I met this little family in my Lamaze class and I hung with them until they moved away.

If Everyone Cared/NB
What I see is we are all running ourselves ragged to meet the demands of religion and life, but not the Truth of the demands we place on the mother. Even just in the label of that expectation and we seem to look at whose bringing home the bacon instead of the quality of the family unit today.  Their ain't more Truth than "if the mother ain't happy ain't nobody happy." We need to get to what is making her unhappy? It's usually just some time and space without all the demands and the guilt. To unload however they need to unload without being stuck in a book or a box being judged from all walks of life instead of supported. Some just want to to be grabbed passionately by their man and taken. They want some zing in that bedroom without the humiliation of wanting to up the ante a notch or two. We are to busy telling these women what their down time should be, to make us feel better is not support.

Be Like That/3 Doors Down
The school system today is absurd all the cut backs labels and expectations to do at home? To provide because we all got to do our part is off the charts. It's a control your time game. Making sure your child has immunizations compared to diagnosing my child for four years and placating me? Then labeling me because you couldn't answer my questions? Truth was I knew more about my daughter than you. By the time I got to that therapist it was a cut and dry session. I could give examples on everything because I already questioned it and resolved it myself. I'm a mother. I'm a doctor and I as a mother is my daughters institution first.

Whatever It Takes/Lifehouse
Not your numbers and labels to make my daughter fit in your box and you couldn't be bothered to answer my questions could you? You have cut out 1/3 by 1/3 of the human race in all your institutions trying to get them to take a pill. Shut down, have minimum reaction to fit in a box? Now we have parents whose children need to be on pills that won't because of all the blanket bullshit justice you created in my children's schools. This mother rates your school system an F.

Joker/SMB
Gabriel means "messenger of God." He helps writers, teachers and journalist. He helps parent's with child rearing, conception and adoption. He delivered the annunciation to Zacharias and Mary, recorded in the book of Luke, announcing the forthcoming births of John the Baptist and Jesus. He saved Abraham's son Lot from Sodom's destruction. Mohammed said that Archangel Gabriel dictated the Koran to him.
Snow/Red Hot Chili Peppers
The funny thing is before I even read this or knew that this had anything to do with the names of the people whom have crossed paths in my life. I can remember the first Zacharia I met as a teenager. He worked with my step dad Jarrel Dean Sundet. Oh the names and the curses? I remember looking at Zach and taking a moment, one of my pause moments. I loved his name. Oh yeah and my poor stepdad and his fate? Just the name alone and he comes from a family of eight. They are the nicest people you'd ever meet. Jerry's mother's name was Esther. It was her bed that I'd sleep in when I needed a break from my room. Now that I understand the significance of almost everything, we had a room in our house (note I lived in Honey Dew Estates, the address was fours and it was off from Union Street) that the previous tenants thought that burlap bags glued to the wall and painted gold was a lovely idea for decor.

Something In The Water/CU
It was an antique four post bed. I loved this bed. When you laid down you sunk. Snug as a bug in a rug. I'd go through stages where I'd sleep in it for two month intervals. Jerry's mother ran a daycare out of an old church off of Sunset in Renton. She had this huge attached apartment that was loaded with antique stuff. Being in her apartment was like sitting in another time-zone. She'd let me dig around and look at stuff like my grandmother. It was her house that she had the Norman Rockwell pictures.

Ring On Every Finger/LoCash
After I made my agreement I knew things were going to be unusual and I just had to be willing to look crazy. I wasn't really doing much to look crazy out there. I mean I tattled on myself about standing on a blue oil can in brood daylight. The date was July 12, 2015. I was a day late for my coffee date. It was incredible that out of all the crazy things I did right out in the open this one takes the cake? After I triple smoked those twelve smokes, I had to leave 6 on each side in the center. Sprinkle the loose tobacco around the can. I had no clue this had anything to do with any twelves yet.

Knee Deep/Zach Brown Band
Found out my brothers daughter that no one knew about, including me was in my wedding. That petulant child belonged to me and mine? I noticed it back then her t-zone and my t-zone. Oh and Gregory Allan just so you know my niece trumps you little bitch boy. Then I went in got a drink of water, washed my face and body in cold water. Soaked my tank in cold water then I wrung it out. On my way to that pit I picked up a staff in my path, walked to the pit. Climbed down and stuck that staff in the ground. I started screaming with my arms out to the side, "get the fuck off my rock." over and over. No one said anything or even noticed, it was incredible and I just kept moving along.

Broken Glass/RP
Wouldn't you know it there laying on the ground was all this garbage. Including a empty milk carton and a bloody black bird. I piled all the garbage around it and stuck the black bird on top. Then I started screaming again. Saying the Lords Prayer and shedding my tears. The point of me telling my daughter that I did that, was that no one bothered me. Sitting on a red rock, a gold mound, standing on a corner with my hand in the air shedding my tears, walking out a door and whispering a prayer, people call the police. I never asked anyone for anything except the one time I do ask someone for some direction I get the police called again.

When It Rains, It Pours/Kidd Rock
Walking around a hotel on the side walk, off to the edge of the parking lot or the edge of the woods not to bother anyone and the one time a trucker ask me a question. Nothing sexual, nothing about nothing to warrant a policeman being called and I got 86'd from a Motel, that I have been a customer on and off for years. These people know me. I have done nothing untoward except make an agreement, as part of this agreement I got to watch Gary go off in all his dimensions. I got to walk in his shoes and write about this experience, and when I went back in with Michael I was told I could not speak to the owner. Whom I've met a few times before. Then she said that because Michael is an acquaintance of mine that he is 86'd for a year also. He has been a customer there as well as our families over the years.

Miles/PP
This is what I mean by a society of judges getting to choose my Destiny based on their own fears toward someone whose done nothing? I get stuck with the labels and the limits, the fines and the fee's. Let's not forget the waste of my time and energy I have to waste because of someone else's petty behavior that wants to be in charge. This is what happens. Someone wants to be in charge of someone else. You left the wrong people in power when you created all these civil cases. Now an exchange of a few words defending myself against the defamation of my character is an insult and an assault now? I can't show any emotion or passion about what I am being accused of? I can't get angry about the bullshit that you have created in my life? I'm told when I have passion about all the injustice to speak quieter, slower, no swearing but be the bigger person Colleen? To bad and to late. You should of not interfered with my right to speak in the first place. You will never tell me how to speak in any court room. Now it turns out this rock is my courtroom and I get to be the judge now.

Push/MB20
I didn't know what was up with all these John's in the beginning either. Then I find another writing that he is surrounded by Johns, the seven and the three. I had no idea what a Messiah was either when I first heard it, nor a druid, nor a seer, nor a Lakota, nor a fertility Goddess.

Just Like Fire/Pink
I had no idea that ISIS was an actual being. Hey you all chose to write off what comes before. Not my problem if you picked and chose the path most traveled, most demanding and most dysfunctional. So I took the road less traveled. The red rock road. So sue me. I should of never had to be here in the first place, right along with all the other bullshit. Remember what I said in the beginning, follow the money? Their you have it. Our justice system, our Hell Care System and our Science is all blanketed under the guise of protection and monetary gain. As long as Truth is based on Institutions and money getting lost in all these affiliates we will never grow.

All On Me/DD
I believe all you in Government judging others while you sit in your river of denial at what you have caused need to go back to the books. To your own historians in your own government, funny they all got assassinated didn't they? Don't think I didn't notice President Lincoln on that copper penny? Slavery, the copper and that penny? The names of all those Penny horror shows? Just like that clown, It? Whose gonna get the last laugh? I know one thing this mother isn't the fool this time. My birthday might be April Fools Day, but it is already written in the stars. I signed my name on that rock with my blood October of 2015. Salmon Days. I like me some surf and turf.
 
Too Good At Goodbyes/SS
It wasn't until I got here in Camelot, back to my five star family I go, that I was able to study up on this JC fellow. What did I learn? That he traveled, he met people and he spoke of what he knew to be true then and now. Turns out I did the same thing. I slept in four different houses and then I spent about four to five nights in a spot that the full moon shone down on me in that gold field. It was Michails demon whom told me that he wanted to mail my children's heads to me in a box. It was through Michail that I discovered that number ten. His demon child whom is ten years old. Michail says 12. He is a definite ten and his demon is strong.
Say You Do/DB
It was John The Baptist that JC went to and heard Him speak. JC had John baptize Him. Then JC took what he knew and moved forward. The next angel Haniel which means "glory of God." She heals women during their blood moon and helps with clairvoyance. She's associated with the planet Venus and the moon. She's one of the ten archangels and she helped the prophet Enoch to Heaven. When this started I knew nothing of Enoch. It wasn't until January 12 of 2016 that I heard of Him. Then it was when I was sitting in the beast with Tina and she told me her brother whom died before her his name was Enoch. She said her father always wished he had lived instead of his next child being born. Her, a girl. I was sitting at the church with the purple cup up front. That was another in my head "ah come on."
I'll Name The Dogs/BS
Jeremiel which means "mercy to God." Jeremiel deals with emotions and is considered one of the seven core archangels. He takes inventory of our lives and helps us plan for positive change. (why we don't need your black cloud keeping inventory on mankind) Now I have a Jeremy James in my family. I wanted my own JJ. That is why I wanted to name my fifth unborn daughter, Jimmie Jane. A play on her father's name and my sisters name. I met her last summer standing in the woods. We don't need a machine to take inventory of our lives because we have Gods flock of angels to guide us not condemn us.
Can't You See/ZBB
Jophiel means "beauty of God." She's known as the patron of artist. She heals negative and chaotic situations and brings beauty and organizations to our thoughts, homes, offices and other environments. She lifts negativity in those areas. Aka. Lofiel or Sophiel.
We Will Rock You/Queen
Metatron he was the prophet Enoch. Yea me. When you look at all these futuristic movies, Metatron is depicted standing alone in the universe or on another planet as a big huge naked bald dude. Metatron did not die. He lived a virtuous life as a servant and he ascended home. He is Enoch/Elijah whom was Cain's son in the bible that God took home again. He heals learning disorders and helps with childhood issues. He helps with the Indigo and Crystal children. In Jewish tradition he is an important archangel and is the chief of the Sephiroth Kabbalistic archangels. Metatron helped Moses lead the Exodus from Egypt to Israel. Metatron watches over children in heaven and this rock. Now the good part is when you see Kyle and meet his giant ring of fire? Mislabeled ADHD when really they are the crystal and Indigo children born of Him and Freya. You remember Freya? You might want to think about that before you touch those babies. They are the repercussions of the seven deadly sins. Well not sure if their will be much left after I get finished. 

Back To Good/MB20
Michael which means "he who is like God." He releases us from fear and doubt. He is known in these books of hope as performing great acts of heroism. Haven't seen this yet God. More like my ball and chain. My anchor that drowns my ass and pulls me down. I have to keep picking him up to function. No it's not from drugs people. It's that little shit ten year demon that weighs his ass down. I'm ready to drop kick him to the curb, but I can't can I God? NOOOOOO!!!!!! He's my vessel for my pain. My healer with his hands and my rock. I try to remember, "hey whether he knows it or not he chose this path." If Greg say's one thing about Michael's lazy ass, then Greg needs to go look in the mirror at himself and that gas lighting technique him and Mary Stone pulled on me when they set me up and stole everything. Michael the archangel oversee's the angelic realm of virtues. Not you Mary Stone, their ain't no class big enough for your ugly ass. He is the protector of police and lends courage. God I ask now when am I going to see this again?

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing/Aerosmith
Raguel "friend of God." He brings harmony to relationships and helps settle misunderstandings on earth and amongst the archangels. He's the overseer of all the angels. He assisted the prophet Enoch's ascension and transformation into the Archangel Metatron. "Oh God, all these transformations you have done on me on the inside and out? What are you going to do to me? Why does everything come back to me God? I try to pass this on and the further I read on, it's all me.

Real World/MB20
I thought this was going to be a short blog. My God there are allot of flocking angels. I mean when you think about it God took these Archangels whom he made clear he created the angels first. His first family as his first line of defense. God created a family of androgynous angels. I mean who would God/Goddess whom is energy, care here nor there, male nor female? It is you all throughout history and time whom created this hot mess on your own. Picking and choosing God? His Plan, His Love, His family, His children, why do you as human think it is ever a good idea to label God, His Love, His flock of angels and let you choose His Love and whom receives what? Why do you think Gods love for his other half, half his wife, half his life and half of his creation would ever let you choose whom is greater based on a human body part?

Semi-Charmed Life/3rd Eye Blind
Their ain't no dick big enough to fill Gods shoes or His power. Not on this rock nor in heaven because God is the creation of all. Now he wants all of you to have a whole heart once and for all. This is your last chance to decide your fate. To decide your door because I truly don't give a flying flock what door you choose?

If Your Gone/MB20
I'm angry because if I don't type up for you the flock of angels and where you descend from you won't bother. Reading something is to much to ask of someone today? We have become a society of instant gratification and proof now. We have become a society whom it's easier to place someone else in a box, than it is to hear the Truth. As far as I'm concerned their isn't enough Proof Of Life to show you because it's never enough. Trust me when I say I know how God feels, no matter the Truth, no matter the rock nor light it's to much of an effort for you all now. Just like when God had Moses pull the slaves out of slavery. The Pharaoh wouldn't release them for a couple days off work to go celebrate on their own in the woods privately with the beasties. God created 10 plagues through Moses. I'm discovering that some people don't fully understand this part of the story?

Free Bird/LS
Moses and that burning bush? The ten commandments? The creation of the ten plagues? The alter this is where I learned that God is a pretty witchy fellow. He used his own gardens, his beasties to create that alter of ten with the two lights. Then right after Moses said don't worship any other deity? Moses comes down the mountain and everyone is acting all drunk with love, singing and dancing around a gold bull? I knew none of this myself which is why I understand the impatience trying to speak truthfully to someone else whom only knows one part of a story instead of something out of them all. Hell I couldn't even tell you the names of each book. It wasn't until I read that John The Baptist created the Lords Prayer that I put together the cross my Irish grandmother (Catherine Anne Frusher whom happens to be a Kennedy) gave me at about the age of four to five.

Stairway To Heaven/LZ
My mother stole it, as usual. She literally has stolen everything that meant something to me in my life or she'd sit me down and have me hand it over to one of her friends for attention. She just happens to give it to Kiley to give to me, along with my cross thumb ring that her neighbor gave me. It was getting resized when I left Cowlitz county. I had no idea why I was taking pictures of red stairs going up into the clouds? Why I'm sitting at boulders in the center of the river with feathers in my hair doing some kind of dance with my hands, shedding my tears some moments?

My Sacrifice/Creed
Hell I knew nothing about Mt. Sinai and Moses. I didn't even know until I started watching Ancient Aliens about the monoliths in the rocks and how they match the stars. How the same rock monoliths on this rock are on Mars, which you all have to deal with the fact that it came before, they are here living through us. When I was taking pictures of the roots in the trees that looked like dinosaurs and pre-historic birds were our family from our past lives coming back in the roots of the tree's. Those whom have come before us built this foundation for all of us to live, eat, pray and love on. I didn't even clue in that the blog I labeled Entity and the photo is the same thing as those rock monoliths, only it's not placed there by another being it grew there for a reason.

Follow Me/UK
That whole scene with Moses and those 10 plagues is coming back around. In the beginning I kept getting the drift that this has something to do with eggs and men's balls. It's the stress of what was created back then coming back around. I knew it had something to do with Jimmy Carter, nuts and bears because I started eating peanut butter and honey out of the jar with a spoon. The honey in one was so old it almost killed me with glass like shards sliding down my throat. Mother natures science in action. That learning curve in my family tree? All The drama around Nixon, Reagan and the his character an actor in the industry becomes president. Ford and well how many Fords have come around in this lifetime?

She's So High/TB
I learned from Keith that Ford created a car out of cannabis and it was pretty much indestructible and well those with the money controlling all the power, making humanity slaves by reducing the value on the dollar with all this mark up and high cost of living bullshit, decided to bury it and create an industry that can keep re-creating itself, by creating the industry in the assembly lines and then pulling it and sending it out of my country, filling my landfills, right boys? Funny the reason why I moved to Mississippi and the reason why we moved back? His crook cousin that after I got there and started meeting people I kept getting frozen horrified looks on peoples faces when I mentioned his name? An egotistical alcoholic crook that stood in my home the second time he met me and used the word nigger like it was nothing. He tried calling me out on my chastity, and the speech he gave me on the phone, it was so horrifying I was actually speechless? The accusations he made to me and he never asked either? He didn't know I had a 3 page list of jobs that I had applied for locally. I mean online, and I walked to in order to measure distance and time. I had already interviewed at two and had resumes to the local places I wanted to work at. I was just getting return phone calls when he felt entitled to tell me what he really thought of me?

Wonderwall/Oasis
When I got to MS my back was out. I mean out. I had just packed, moved and hauled a suitcase bigger then me through two airports on no sleep. He insisted, I mean would not, take no for an answer that I come over to his house right then and there when I got into town. I mean would not let me bow out gracefully. I get there and he doesn't show up minimum an hour later. He's drunk and he has two black co-workers with him. Notice I say black for a reason, this man was so raciest yet to look like a hot shot he likes to go tie one on with his passe.

1985/BFS
Crooked crook is this guy right here. Imagine that, an eye surgeon moving across state lines. Whom blatantly moved to MS to make a living off of the MS Hell Care Plan. In the first fifteen minutes of me meeting his wife she said something to me about the education system and these black people. It was the math level, the education system wasn't up to par with her children. I let that go and enjoyed my time with the children. Boy did I learn allot just in the names and the lives of these children. They were great, the problem was the father and his ego.

Knockin' On Heavens Door/Gun's 7 Roses
I can't wait to knock that chip off of his shoulder when he discovers whom his cousin Michael really is? I mean when I walked into the kitchen the wall decor was liquor bottles. Liquor bottles lined the shelves, wall's and that hutch. The only reason I kept my mouth shut was because this was Michael's family, whom he worked for at the time. He kept threatening Me and Michael before I thought anything about anything, he would threaten us and our lives, our character and lively hood if we ever said anything bad about him.  The balls on this tiny tiny little man? If there is anyone I want to kick in the ribs now besides my X (don't even get Mary Stone in front of me, she might as well jump ship. I wouldn't want to be her in a million mother flocking years) is this little tiny tiny small minded piece of shit poor excuse of a man if there ever was one. The way his wife spoke and belittled the people that worked for her? Their just ain't no excuse for their bad behavior. I don't give a flying flock about no money. No siree Bob. The things we teach our children???????

All For You/Sister Hazel
Raphael means "he who heals." The way I see it no better way than to end someones suffering and pain then to send them back home to my families A.A. You can come back after that Attitude Adjustment. I don't want to hear no more bullshit excuses from any of you judges why things are this way? Who you would let an affiliate, a manufacturer control the human races emotions for profit and loss I will never know? God gave the human race emotions for a reason. It is not my problem that a doctor would rather write a prescription for a drug that suppresses another normal human beings emotions so they can feel better judging me and my future is not okay. I am an individual, I am a human being, I am a humane being, you might think you have control of this rock but I know one thing for sure, you have, nor will you ever have the right to control another human beings emotions to feed your machine instead of humanity any minute of any day in my family tree of life.

Smile/UK
My own doctor still wants me to get shots in my spine to make her feel better. She wants me to take Gavipatin which is a major depressor all to make her and this insurance from hell feel better? I said I haven't even started anything with Doctor Capz. with all this red tape. No matter what I will always have this disease. I will not risk what two other doctors verified what I already knew about getting Cortisone shots in the muscle and spine. You have a fifty fifty chance of losing what little I do have, pain or no pain, why would I cut my chances by another fifty percent? To make all you doctors happy?

My Own Worst Enemy/Lit
 Isn't this how I got here in the first place? Your justice system and you doctors? Turning a blind eye future trippin about me instead of doing your jobs. To keep me moving as pain free as possible. You couldn't even do that. You were to busy serving a potential liability instead of me and mine to cover your insurance and jobs. You have sliced and diced my ICD 9 codes to death and you created an industry out my pain and suffering all the while billing me. Labeling me and bouncing me to your boxes? All the while you were judging me? Your job is to heal me, diagnose me and at times put a band aid on me. Not put me through all your experiments and tests all those years because you don't like that I have a muscular skeletal disease.

Slide/TGGD
You don't like that my pain is in my spine and not my mind. From what I can see after the test I had done on my neurological system and my muscles and tendons it seems not one time have you any of you in this hell care profession diagnosed me right, except the alternative healthcare doctors and those first four neurologist whom clearly stated, Muscular skeletal about 15 to 19 years ago. Hell you create an industry of massage school through the state and yet you make it a luxury to get a massage? An alternative healthcare solution and look at all those jobs you could of created? Get this shit off my rock. You whom have been judging and footing the bill for all this hell need to jump ship.

3AM/MB20
My children will not inherit this mislabeled marked up bullshit of a cure any day. All IC is a one way highway to pill hell. You are making a living off of all these labels since about what 1996 now. Just before the millennium and that new system of numbers we report to. If any of you have a problem with fact checking then you can take a look at Adam Ruins Everything,

Let Me Be Myself/3 Doors Down 
I am just someone whom has had to walk through your bullshit for the last twenty years, then 19, then 17, then 15, then 13, and well now I got the 12's. the 11's, the 10's and on down the line I go over and over. All because no one could step back without being killed to speak the Truth. Apparently it is a crime to be a nice person. To have an obliging personality so I'm not labeled as rude, crazy or defensive. So I don't speak my mind about something you know nothing about. After all your injustice you have doled out to me and mine. Fuck you. You don't like my words go to hell.

Save Tonight/Eagle-Eye Cherry
God has made it very clear he's coming back, His son has made it clear he's coming back with the whole God Damned Kingdom. He didn't say how but he did say, Moses, the Joker, the Fool and that their is two. I'll be nice when all this bullshit is done and over with. I can't wait to hit the nail on someone's head for all this bullshit injustice. Sweet Mother of Mary let's blow up this rock. You see it's not what you say to my family, it's how you say it. Only they know your true intent. In the mean time don't nobody step near me and mine, don't anyone try to blow smoke up my ass no more. I'm done with the benefit of the doubt.

Picture/Kidd Rock
Now I'm pretty hot. Shall I get back to Raphael and the rest of my flock? Shall I take you all the way back to the other sandman in my family? His name is Sandalphon he was the prophet Elijah whom ascended into an Archangel. Funny how names just keep interlinking and going round and round? Truthfully I'm to shot to go over all this, I just hope I made my point about my family. Now if you haven't figured out whom it is I am by this point? I don't even have it in me to take pity on you today.

You Found Me/The Fray
Now come find me one last time. Get me out of this box. It takes one lock and one key to shut the gates of hell. We have to do the deed to get the deed. I understand your an old hand at this rodeo ride. Broke Back Mountain, bare back riding? There's more than one way to plow a field in my family. Are you a rough rider or a cool hand Luke?
Drift Away/Uk
When It's Over/UK
Blue Jeans And A Rosary/Kidd Rock
Wake up little boy blue I can't do this on my own. This time around it takes two to bring this house of cards down. Oh Big Daddy I can't wait to sow some wild oats with you again. Plant some seeds of love and life every day wherever we go. You know their is more than one way to feed a family love. Their is more than one way to love a woman, and their is more than one way to love a man. The best part in my family is no matter what we do, no matter where we go, we will never eat alone again.
Drops Of Jupiter/Train









































Good Riddance/Greenday

















Perfect/ES
Every Little Thing CP
Something Just Like This/TC&C
















Unwell/MB20
Round Here Buzz/Eric Church
It's Not Over/Daughtry
It Is What It Is/UK











Rockabye/Clean Bandit

Send My Love/Adele