Oh God, you know I'm not sure if I'm confused, or relieved at the moment? Last night I crawled in bed, I knew full well I was gonna crash. I set my body up for it even. I had a sinus migraine, a migraine, my neck is tight, threatening left shoulder and still these sockets on both sides are aching away. Geriatric all the way, yet I'm getting the feeling that is just another stage of how this mother flocking family wants me to feel. Yes I am self medicating. Two mother flocking years you doctors yet again had a chance to help me. Yet once again, another referral, another wait time for the insurance to approve what my doctor feels needs to be done.
It doesn't matter what it is they try to do for my pain, I mean physical like my joints and muscles, yet my sinus pain. That mask of pain that I'm not even aware I'm feeling yet. Then I have a migraine, so I take Sudafed Sinus pain and Imitrex, and if that doesn't work I have to upgrade from there. I wait, for some reason I always wait if I can. Being home and not having to be somewhere helps with that. Especially when pills make that small leak turn into flash floods. Hey we all gotta do our part in feeding this beasty of a healthcare plan. Now I get to go to a specialist, and look how many more specialist we have for this now. Just in time for us chronic pain suffers to be put on anti-inflammatories and Nsaids.
Shining Star
Got The Davita clinics all over just in time to help us. Yet don't try to step into one to use the restroom on this insurance healthcare plan. Gotta have a referral and appointment to pee anywhere nowadays. That's okay look at all these pads now I get to purchase and make sure I have a place to dispose of. Yet for those with a burning bush such as myself, folicolitious that flaires up from the liners no matter how much Sacylic Acid I wash with, but that's okay I can just up my doxycycline here and there, Yet it also inflames my pancrease. Yet in the old days when insurance was a aid, it didn't value a human beings self worth for care. Why hell in the old days I could just get a referral to have it laserly removed.
Be Like That
Insurance is not a band aid to keep you suffering to take more pills and poison. It is supposed to be about quality care with choices to help aid in your healing and cure you the easiest path of resistance to ones suffering. Yet in the old days I could go through another series of acutane and get it all taken care of in two months, but no I'm sure someone went ahead male or female and tried to have children. On purpose or accidently, it was made very clear up front the side effects. Yet some whiney little bitch has to blow a cure for someone else. Sorry to sound so cold nothing personal, its the cause and effect of how much control one persons mistake has over anothers suffering because they couldn't be bothered to follow directions. I'm sure I'm going to get a bunch of hate mail on that even though it is just a example of the blame game and the things we choose to stand up for today. Even looking at the bigger picture before you make a choice on what your cause is going to be in life.
Don't You Forget About Me
I don't know maybe I'm frustrated at the moment after reading Revelations. That wasn't what I was looking for. I have read this before and it was confusing so I walked away, yet reading it again God, you caused these curses? I mean yes the bowls and Mason and the bowl he brought me, the color blue and how he was using it to speak to me. I knew his name and color of his tie were significant. I'm sitting in Lexy's room with a rebel flag on the wall and a white wolf. Again that white wolf seemed familiar.
Then the red bowl I just had to have. I was so happy no one owned it. Then well I had to pass it on. Rightfully so. I did use all of her candles that day. In that bowl and well some of the candles were a gift from a friend.
Jessie"s Girl
It was a given that I was not going to get that bowl back. When she first laid eyes on it she pretty much said, "you let go of that bowl and it will be mine." I laughed, and well look who got it? Cyn my lil' red spark plug who wears greek boots to clean these rooms in.
Iris
Alright God enough rehashing, I'm picking up that as these Corporations have been taking over, our oceans and rivers. Our wells, and water towers. Control over all the power, control over all the technology, and I asked Michael the name of those clouds. The ones that for some reason, I called Acid Rain. I could see it as something poison. Our bodies not only filter through the air, but our soil and seed. Kind of like living in a thunderdome of poison. Another form of Cancer from the smoking, the aspestos that our blue collars workers inhaled, black lung of the coal, and the movie Wormwood and radiation poisoning.
The Glory of Love
Yet it's okay for corporations to kill off our sea's and wildlife. It's okay for all these brotherhoods that you created to fight our wars. Like the sonar causing our dolphins and whales to washup on shore. Well that's okay. Yet a few native men can't go out in a little canoe with arrows to kill one whale. A whale in which traditionally most tribes use. Just this pisses me off God. Who gets to decide what is okay when it comes to killing off our wildlife, rivers, and oceons, Mother natures resouces, her springs and wells have all been tied up and poisoned for a cause to feed the greater good of this planet and to protect us from all this poison and bacteria that this system created, slowly over time I see one other huge common denominator. First the getting of the land,then individually split off in colonies, stolen from the natives pretty much and well they were enslaved and made into slaves. Not just here but it's similar pattern in other countries over time and we seemed to have forgotten that.
Get High On Low Society
Well there is something wrong with how these natives fight for their land? They get all crazy, primal and native. Hell they scalp you, and they will rape your women It's okay we have guns and encampments to get this native crazy reds back in line. Yet we were doing it to them. Everywhere. We will show them a better way, a different God with the State. The Christian way of life. Yet they had it right all along. Mother Earth and God. Some even recognized in their own way the higher beings. Between the church and the Government hiding the Truth it is a big hogwash of a mess right there.
Dance With Me
So I see God being the profit had a plan and has been in control the whole time. I think it's hilarious in a sense the name of the Cirrus clouds, not such a funny circus of games they provide on all these reality and game shows. The way cable is set up, just like all these cell phones, keep you coming back and wanting more. They change basic shows to paid cable after a season or two. Every cable channel if something you want to watch. Click on it and it pops up you must have a subscription, you must upgrade. It's not an upgrade. It's just another bill a fee to keep you, the true whores of Babylon, keep you wanting more. More garbage, on the mind, something to keep you glued and stupid, Not all, I get that.
Break Up With Him
I see the Truth and inspiration in some. Enough is enough, we as humans automatically defend this marketing. We or someone could miss something. Some of these shows are so old, and these stations, it is a joke we are paying for them. Thsese actors are dead, yet we gotta feed the corporations. Not talking people like your not worthy, talking about the direction and the need to hold us back and keep us wanting and in need of all this technology. No one talks about energy conservation except that you have to do your part. Now pretty much most light bulbs are low energy and I can't see. Who is holding the keys and mark up to the power companies vs. the cable vs. all theses satellites, keeping track and burning everything all the way around. We can't turn this off God. Only you and Mother Nature Mary can.
Hold My Hand
Then you know God, I'm torn and well miffed about all this. I mean once again the other shoe drops and somehow, I am or was JC. Yet that man, that six foot 250lb man. gets to come in and save the day, after the fight. Once again God, send in the little one. Oh yes, how confusing is this one God. Reading Four Views of The End Of Times Pamplets, trying to learn what each sect is seeing differently, yet the same.
What do I see that I admit I have been putting in the back of my mind. Two years ago I was using the names Morning Glory, and Morning Star. I saw this around Brittney, who comes from 12 dogs. Twelve Shunzels, the reason she travels out there alone. The abandonment and rejection from her father, mostly about money and childsupport.
Lost In Love
In this pamphlet it is JC's name also. Hell God all these names and how they change as I've been moving along. Even the John's God? So many John's. The first beheaded and well another John always close by JC. Yet God it is Lucifers name also? Is this a depending on what perspective you have? What point of view? What side of the fence you stand on come Judgement day? Who knew their really was going to be a judgement day?
Semi-Charmed Life
What is my job God? To stay alive as long as I can? Kill me off and bring me back? Still not happy about the part he went looking for a Lion only to find a what God? Bloody sheep? Nothing like knowing the answers and coming to terms with this. I saw in those Cirrus clouds after I expanded the photo over the ocean, a clear shot of a man and woman. He and she had snow white hair. He had a white beard, and She long white hair, and her lips were pursed like she was blowing the wind. Now God, it's confusing. Who am I talking to? I always see a man with a beard and dark shoulder length hair, and the description here is you are very old with white hair. Who was I standing in front of all this time? At first I though brother red was doing some sort of Osmosis. I got the impression later that Todd/JC my brother would be the one to want me to kick my X in the ribs, even if I didn't know why?
Summer Breeze
When I walked out of Greg's office, I didn't write it, but for a long time, the first two words I would yell out was Jesus Christ. Yet after brother red, it was my own brother I was yelling at for awhile. So who cares if your yelling at your own brother right? It took me almost two years to fully comprehend, this last late September in that gold field behind TA. OMG! This is about God, and these two once again? Yet I was not happy at that enlightening moment.
All this talk of energy and me clueing in that God is the beasty, the scent of the blood. Not one more drop my ass. Should of known. Yet I still until lately did not comprehend, who JC really is and well still don't in a sense. I feel him, I love him, I want him.
Let IT Be by JD
Yet God, uhm I recon I don't fully comprehend God's power and well that is scary. Not that I fear you, yet looking at this curse God. Satan only gets locked up 1000 years? Well Adam and Eve's Garden of Eden is over the 2017 plus years. The documentation of these big books and time.
This third and fourth generation? Just how long does a generation last up there? Really, because the ones you are after from the beginning, Hence you are the beginning and the end, the human race that does not know, that is confused and stuck in the middle, of this feather slaughter.
Stiff Wind
Where was I standing when I saw all those bloody white feathers? The intersection of Lincoln and Jefferson. I see you do not want the human race to know, yet you send a messenger? Now I have to know this? The whole 1000 years that Satan was locked away, had that already happened and he was already released looking for a bride? I mean the timing, the conjuring of The Whore Of Babylon By Alex Crowley is somewhere around my mothers birthdate.
It's All Coming Back To me
The Fourth generation I was told by another enlightened person when I was dating Carey I am stuck in the fourth dimension. The sleep dimension and I can't get out. Duh! So many reasons why? My body, my life, never being able to speak the truth about my marriage and divorce in order to get the protection I needed over the next few years, then all the years just trying to discover what is up with my spine. These doctors couldn't diagnose their way out of a paperbag. Why should they? The insurance cuts them off from being able or even having to complete a reading of a x-ray let alone a diagnosis of the whole spine. Everything I needed to get me through was in the busineesses I opened and he stole right off the bat.
The wreck Of The Edmonds Fitzgerald.
Who cared about the money, I didn't. All I ever wanted was the Truth from him and a diagnosis so I could make the choices about my body I needed. Talk about purgatory and Hell, being in AA and NA. Duh! A human being no matter what has a breaking point, especially physical pain and how intense and how many days you hurt. That is the clincher. Sometimes you just need that pain valve to shut off, to get a break re-coop meantally and physically. To even think straight day after day with no reprieve. No one will listen, they deny and blame me. Then the clincher you put a sociopath in charge of my well being and my childrens. Not okay,
Swayin To The Music
Now God those 24 beings that bowed down to the light and the being? I don't care who is listening, JC, The Lord or God? No way. Absolutely no way. I have been watching some of these documentaries and these beings of light underground, and well up above as well, please oh please, don't let them bow down to me. I do not wish to be worshipped or glorified. Nothing I have been through is glorious or victorious. Can't have Valor if you never knew God. I never knew. Sure I knew a little about everything spiritual. Who doesn't with all these movies and documentaries. All these novels and theology and Sci-Fi. None of it leaves anything to the imagination today. Pretty easy to pin a label on something that is triggering something in someone. Then have the hppa: plan to keep you drugged up and locked inside. Hell we already have the negative labels and perscriptions to keep the people who are higher beings from ascending. Like I said legal or illegal, up or down. Hunger or sloth they don't give a flying flock. It's all to get you inside no matter the pain or the kind of pain. Shut you down, lock you up, drug you up, zap your brain. They don't care. All I know if we had the truth of what we truly are, what we wanted all along would already be here.
I love you God, I love ALL MY FAMILY, GOOD OR BAD. Just God Damnit, is that fourth link in the fourth square, my childrens father? You know the black square of the three brothers I keep coming back around to? I mean how can I look my children in the eye knowing their father is the beast and I don't know who I'm supposed to be fighting for the greater good? Thanks for the one arm tied behind my back. So much for throwing that mother flocking red rock I sat on in the center of that restaurant. So what I also have Angels trying to kill me and my children?
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