Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Love Can Go To Hell

Take it back. I want you to take it all back. RU nut's? No way. No way. Sometimes, you walk me into the attitude, the emotion God. Lookin back, my childhood, along for the ride. Car wrecks God? All those car wrecks. My whole life, I get something that means something to me, literally something of no value and someone steals it right out from under me or breaks it. Each time, so entitled like its okay. Like my feelings have no value.
OMG!!! WHAT THE FLOCK GOD. Coping skills God. I've been through worse. Worse situations, worse pain. This isn't even a flock you moment. It's the size God. The size of everything. Life God. All this life God. It makes me cry and I don't want to cry.
To see all this life. Well what humanity as a whole call life. From this perspective God, it's not life. You want me to do what God? When you hand me things one at a time, it's different. Comparatively speaking. One little problem God?
Which problem God? My children? My family God? Heavens gates God? This planet? Hey lets get into dimensions, lets get into the universe, the aliens God and well God, me?
I'm on overload and I hurt more ways than one God. I mean who hung on that cross God? You have brought me in into so many people and well it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.  I really don't know why I bother. It's just a bunch of shit I really did not want to know in the first place.
Whatever happened to the luxury of dying, going to heaven in the first place, then getting your answers? Oh whats that again Hindsight? Careful what you ask for in this family. Hell I truly didn't ask. You'll have to excuse me while I lose my shit and have a human moment in all this inhumane behavior to your own family.
I'm a warrior princess of what God? HELL? I just discovered a couple weeks ago. You burned a 12 year old girl at the Stake. Yeah, I've been around it but that twelve and Helen Of Troy. My babies, his babies. Katie bug now is going in the service God. The grief I felt at Alex's mother daughter tea in high school when the babies I have looked at, touched, are going to war God.
Your warriors, my babies. Do we have a battle between us? Did you send me to hell? I watched Lucifer with his mother, and you. Shes stuck in the middle. What I have finally earned my release? Truth or lies God?
You havent made me feel that way, but I have to say after all this? Am I and my sisters, my mothers finally released from who's chains God? Who put me there? Yeah I'm still alive. Is this the part Im so grateful for the release of the fines and fees? Like these landlords and corporations and bosses who dole out the b.s. fine you. Pull it then make you grateful you didnt have to pay so much for all my sins and fines. That gold coin, either I or someone died for. The sins of money. I hate money.
I hate men with money. I don't want this.

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