09/06/2016
I hate today. I have had a migraine since Friday. Its coming from in between my shoulder blades and my sinuses. To tell the Truth I'm pretty burned out. I was okay with not seeing my girls, but only in the way that some things I just don't want to know. They fear what I am going to say as much as I fear what they are going to say. Only I can't re-act to the bomb going off inside me. Sometimes I think my family upstairs hates me. They know my hands are tied. Alex to Thailand of all places and then Kiley L.A. and then Spain and Germany. Alex was even traveling in some places on her own. Seeing the bigger picture isn't what it's cracked up to be.
My first conversation with Kiley and she just couldn't wait to tell me she's going to New York City and of all dates. This is the other part her father could of told me. He knows how I feel about this date. I have handed him everything and he still won't look me in the eye. He can't look outside himself for a moment and put himself in my shoe's. I mean where is the compassion? It is true what I said and I have a deeper meaning now when I said to him, "Nothing grows without love and light." I didn't know I was talking about Mother Nature.
Even I assumed someone was taking care of Mother Nature. Yes I respected mother nature but over the years how it is being taken over and controlled by the state was not and is not good. More taxes fees and fines, timeline guideline and standards for people to enjoy mother nature. Other than that I guess I assumed their was some guideline and standard set up by the system that of course would have mother natures best interest at heart. You would think the state and federal Governments all around these nations have made allot of money already poisoning mother nature, draining her resources dry, poisoning her water, taking her oil, poisoning her dirt, her seed and water, her air all to create panic and fear in the hearts of mother natures children. I mean isn't that where the money is going? To supply all this good service to my planet.
Your priorities are money, not mother nature and you lost the focus of her even more when religion was brought to the natives. You supplied and mass produced a book, or several books that focused on the Father and the Son. So even more Mother Natures spirituality, and overtime essence has been stripped away and it seemed no one noticed. No one in religion even bothered to figure out that God's wife is Mother Nature. In return she got taken for granted on both sides. The ones that came in and took over and created standards guidelines taxes and fines these are the ones you trusted right? To take care of your planet, to have its best interest so we can eat. Well that did not happen so now you are being made to feel guilty for the poison in the drugs and the food. Well the rest of you stood around took her for granted, you ignored her and spit on her, you trashed her, you assumed because someone told you so that Mother Nature is pretty much a waste.
I had a writing that I did called Taking Back My Rock. I can't remember the night I went out and built a rock wall and I stuck that flag in same place I stuck that staff. I put a pair of lil fairy wings behind it. My goal was that when lightening struck that flag pole would send a bolt of electricity into the ground and kill that big ant. It sat there for two nights. I can't remember why I chose this day or time that I chose, I just wanted this thing whatever it is that it's not getting my nation. Truth is I'm not hurting anyone and it sits low enough no one see's it. Except the asshole tattle tail truck driver who just couldn't keep his mother fucking mouth shut. People who could, shouldn't and this is the prime example of that. It was a peaceful protest. It was a National Flag and the maintenance man was mad because he was put out that he had to get the garbage out.
Yes he called it garbage. I noticed all the other garbage lying around still that he didn't pick up. Truth be told, I feel put out that I have to even do this. That now again I have been left with a sit in with this Entity just waiting for it to rear its ugly head. Electrocution from in the ground is not gonna blow up this gas station like a bomb would. Even to gas this thing would take to much poison. I don't know how to poison it but I know I have to figure it out because yesterday Kiley told me she's going to NYC and of all the dates and times. Love is poison to Satan but I don't know about this Entity. How do you just find love? I put those star spangled wings behind the flag to represent that you have a pair of wings behind this flag. They might not look very big here but up there with my family they are huge. So I sit and I wait, for what I don't know. I agreed to take the poison on and well I'm not sure what that is this time around.
I just know that I would rather face Satan and this Entity on my own than have this conversation with the Father of that ring of fire. Awareness is key.
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