What a piece of shit spineless little weasel that I married. You think you marry a kind caring man with a good heart and oh what a surprise did I get. I even said in a counceling office one day I thought I married into a Leave It To Beave Family. I was wrong, what I saw in Greg's mother and father I did not get in this man. Not as a husband or father to my children. Nope people I got the product of society. I got a mothers good intentions and a fathers compassion for a husband.
Greg's mother grew up in Hawaii on a farm. She was so poor they chewed pitch off the tree for gum. It breaks my heart to tell this story. It's hard when you type in public and the emotions poor through you. I am never alone. Elaine's father was Hawaiian and Elaine's mother was Japanese. When Elaine was born she was the oldest out of two daughters. Her father signed her over to her mother Leatrice. Her mother had a second daughter from a different man. Well things didn't pan out there either. Leatrice's family was huge. She got a job as a maid and could only take one daughter so Elaine stood and watched as her mother and little sister drove by ducking down in the car. Not only her sister but her best friend too.
Greg's dad's family was from Germany and somewhere out west he grew up. Their were three two brothers and a older sister. I'm not sure what happened in this family but I got the impression Phylis the older sister was left in charge of these two boys. Bob and Phylis don't really have much of a relationship with their other brother. Bob has a trigger hair temper. He went onto the service and that is where he met Elaine. They met in Hawaii and moved here to Seattle and started from ground zero for everything that they had. Elaine worked as a word processor at a Law firm and Greg mixed paint for the Boeing airplanes. They both retired from there jobs.
They bought a house in Seattle and they scrimped and saved. They eventually bought more real estate, fixer uppers. They purchased the lot behind them and they built a house. It was a round house on a hill surrounded by the strangest vegetable gardens. A lil bit here of something, and well the same thing over there too. Wherever they could plant a seed they did. Yes their was the basic gardens for the bigger stuff. They ate out of those gardens and they shared their food. I wanted that for my children. To learn about and experience the outdoors. Mushroom hunting, crabbing, smelting, fishing, and well I learned allot more from there.
I didn't know the man I married, the father of my children was a product of his society. The wrong society, the wrong garden, my children's father is the poison seed. After I filed on him and he came back to me and said I only married you because I thought you'd be rich someday." He took my families poison and he placed the blame on me. He spread lies and he blew them up because who in today's society doesn't want to take the easy way out? Apparently loving this mother was to much to ask. No matter or how much I did it was never enough for Greg. I could never measure up to Greg and he forgot where he came from. All because he got the degree and I didn't. All because his family lived in a prettier house. His family never even knew I lived in a trailer park, truth is I never thought that much about it.
When I met Greg he had stocks for college. I did not marry Greg because I thought his family had money. I thought he carried the same values as his parents. Work hard when your young and build your life around your family. I thought Greg knew about investments and money. That is a good asset right? Knowing what to do with money. Coming from a family who had nothing and didn't get anything handed to them. Integrity, moral's and a family to value. You do it together, rich or poor, thick or thin. That would be the support system you have in your partner. When someone drops the ball the other picks up right? Loyalty to know that no matter what you have one common goal. Your family, each other. What happens when you marry someone who didn't understand any of it? What happens when you marry someone who truly has no concept of what that really means? Actually a misconception has been created right here.
Looking back when me and Christine were wondering what was wrong with these two boys? They didn't really know how to do anything. When I asked Bob, why he knows how to do everything in a house, a car, a garage why don't these two? He explained that Elaine didn't want these two boys to have the life she had. Working a farm, working pretty much all the time, so they didn't have chores. I was horrified because it was Greg's idea to buy this fixer upper and he could barely hold a hammer and a nail. At least I had my background and not allot of fear to tear into this house because truth be told Greg didn't care that my refrigerator sat on the other side of my kitchen counter. Greg didn't care that the windows were so old that that is where all of our electric bill was going, or that I had three separate sections to this house to heat.
He had literally no concept of even how a checking account works. I had to explain to him when he had his own account that the checks you wrote haven't gone though yet. You can't just call a bank and ask how much money you got today? Why Greg looked at me and said "really?" After I said to him "Greg you have to maintain a house for the season's and well we live in a fixer upper." You see Greg just wanted me to pay the electric bill with no concept of where this electric bill is going. He wanted to blame me for a high electric bill and tell me we should only turn on the heat when we use the kitchen. I'm a mother I'm always in the kitchen. Greg always had a better way but it was not realistic, or it was more work for me to do. To live his low quality life but expect high quality service. He just didn't want to fix the problem in the first place. He wanted me to fix the problem and not spend any money doing it. You see Greg didn't have to because he had a work horse of a wife supporting his laxey daisy unrealistic behavior and expectations.
I mean really after ten years of marriage and that man is sitting next to me in bed telling me how he wants to get a RV and retire just like his mom and dad. That was when I explained about how hard his parents worked for their lives, and then when I asked him where I fit into this retirement plan? His answer was, "I don't know, I never thought about it." When I'm sitting at the sleep clinic and my doctor said, "Colleen you do the work of three people everyday, you are gonna die, if you don't sleep." Still I thought about Greg and my children. I told him what Greg had been telling me for years, "hold on for just a lil while longer. That I only have to hold out for just a lil while longer." I assure you Greg made sure I didn't get any sleep. All those years of being married and I had not dropped the ball one time. With Greg it didn't matter what it was that boy never took responsibility for anything. I mean why should he? He has never had to learn how. Not even how to love or just what love is. Nothing grows without love and light and well neglect is the most invisible abuse of all.
When they showed me the other day in that Gold field I screamed and I exploded just how Greg made my children live the life I did with him. The Cinderella children he handed over to Ann to clean her house and ours. Kiley became paranoid to have anything out of place in her room for fear Ann would walk in and tell her she has to clean something up. It is out of place. Especially when Kiley had company and Greg allowed it. He just ignored it. Hell she had her own daughters and somehow it becomes my children's responsibility to clean up his new wife's mess of her own family. When Kiley was five years old she started throwing up in the mornings at six thirty a.m. on the dot. I asked her doctor about it, I thought it was a odd flu then when he said "no Colleen your daughter at five years old has anxiety." That burning stomach that I grew up with. I let Kiley's doctor after that know that sometimes I give her part of a zantac.
Kiley's favorite thing was for me to do trigger point work on her back. For a child of only six to eight she already had knots up and down her spine. She like the deeper tissue work and she'd beg for me to do adjust her back. Here she is her father is a chiropractor and just like her mother her daughter can't even get her back adjusted. So yes I adjusted Kiley's spine and Irony is that it was right between the shoulder blades that heart chakra, just like me and I was so focused on my children I never knew I had a broken heart. Truth be told it's always been broken, I just never knew. That is why I walked my self down the aisle in Hawaii. I never had a father and well by then I knew I never would. My dad was drunk in Eastern Washington, my mother I didn't need her poison and behavior at my wedding. Especially after she pulled what she did, yet again. I wanted a new start in life a healthy father for my children and I hate my fathers children and I would never say it out loud.
I wouldn't put it in actions or words. Today I don't care if he dies I hate him so bad. I have tried so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt. What he did making Alex sit down with Mary Stone just like he did me. She is twelve years old and Greg was sitting at his desk doing his files. He decides he's going to let Mary Stone tell Alex how its going to be at her office. Her families business that her mother started. It seems Alex wasn't going to be doing clerical work anymore but custodial work now, because well Mary has to pay her two sons now. Something about her pay and hours. She's twelve. When she exploded Greg told her not to be disrespectful and rude. He just allowed this.
He did the same thing when he decided he was going to Mary Ann. They were deciding that one of Anne's daughters was going to get the master room with bath and all this other stuff. Ann wasn't even living there and he allowed Ann tell Alex it's her house now not hers. Then expected Alex to take it and not be rude. Isn't that amazing in this society too, it is set up just like that. If you re-act to the smallest thing, swear or get angry at the injustice, you are the one labeled and fined. The cops come and they say "oh well pointing a finger or swearing is abuse you got to jail." You go to court and the system is already set up that you are gonna pay the fine or fail in this society. Not allowed to raise your finger at all the injustice. You can't re-act or respond with any human behavior in this society.
What about all those emotions in this marriage that I was told to squash. A influx of voice and I'm out of line. Get's the lines crossed between what aggression and assertive behavior. You have the right to assert yourself when someone tells you to eat garbage and that this is all you are worth. Every time her got angry with me he literally destroyed my house to punish me. He couldn't even be bothered to clean up the laundry I placed in a neat pile when he brought that fatal rabbits husband into my home. He couldn't be bothered. It was my job to clean up his mess. Is that the way you treat the mother of your children?
The one who was at every family function and funeral. Stood in every kitchen with the mothers. One who had to meet every demand when Greg wanted to go out of town like every weekend. From the very beginning I had to after the first two years of packing up that car and revolving my work hours, grocery shopping, cooking loading doing the laundry for Greg to go on one of his excursions. I had to make a deal the third year every other weekend because it was OCD. When Greg told me to hold out just awhile longer it didn't have anything to do with my mental health it was Greg always having to go out of town.
Even after we had our house if we happened to have a weekend home Greg wanted me to pack the car so we could go to his parents house. He didn't get I had my own home to tend to. I was tired of packing and unpacking the car on top of everything else. I never one time told Greg he couldn't go out of town the reason why was because I knew if I did he would resent me for it. I felt that as a grown man after all these years that if I have to tell him I need you home to be a part of this family, that he would sit around pout and put his ass in front of the computer and tell me it's his time off.
Greg is so good at not answering people and placing blame back on people that this is the perfect example. We were on a ski trip and my sister and me were in the back seat facing each other, Greg was driving and he had just gone down a steep hill of ice and he stops at the bottom, knowing full well that Adam is behind us in his car. So Adam on a decline sheet of ice can't stop and he rear ends us. It took me and my sister out in the neck. I wanted Greg to adjust me, I had a huge knot on the lower left, he told me no, to get Adam to adjust me. He made Adam feel guilty for causing the accident. Number one Greg didn't even check me out or touch his wife or his sister in law but he sure collected on the insurance.
He had me cash out the insurance claim. I thought my sister had her own insurance claim from the accident. Since we all filed a seperate claim I thought we were all paid out of the same claim. When Greg had me cash it out it closed my sisters claim. I didn't find out until like two years later. That accident that she could n o longer receive chiropractic care, massage care, and medical care closed for her because it was paid out of one fund. Truth is I didn't get treated either. For me to even get a adjustment it was usually minimum three days wait to get me in. If I tried to lie down on the hydro bed, it was me who was expected to give up my place. My sister who already got migraines was doing full time daycare out of her home supporting three children on her own. She lost her house and her life because of this accident and Greg couldn't be bothered to look at the bigger picture.
Now Greg decides to test fate again after I told him the truth. Just like I did when I tried to get him to talk to Alex and quit that job, before I knew what was in some of those trucks and that I was looking at more than I thought I ever knew. I told him flat out, that I have a major dealer from another country watching me. I wasn't paranoid, I was aware because I had just been questioned by another undercover. It doesn't matter what I knew the point is when I went to Alex's father and I asked him to back me on this, he blamed me for even getting her the job in the first place.
I got Alex that job because she couldn't get grocery money out of her father. I thought it would be a good place for her to make some quick tips when she comes home for holidays from college. Then the other servers who are mothers can take time off, it was just the timing. He basically told me to sit in it. So I did and that is why I wouldn't leave that truck stop, because if any drug dealer wants this mother come and get me, I stand out in the open outside my daughters door. I told Patty why I quit. I didn't know about the other stuff that was going on. I did not lie to anyone including that other man I met at that red rock, that I was there for my daughter and no one can see that I still am.
Greg has sat me in his purgatory again because I told him the truth and I gave him everything I had again, and he doesn't say anything to me or Kiley about going to New York at this time on this date. Testing fate again? Truth be told I don't care if the father of my children lives or dies, I'm done giving him respect and the benefit of the doubt that he is going to do the right thing by this mother for his children. I don't appreciate being tested by that family upstairs and making me beg for that man's life three times. I don't appreciate any part of this mans ego's or fears today. Quite frankly now I know I have bigger fish to fry and he just left me holding the bag once again. Not one time looking back has he ever offered me a helping hand not even when we were married. It seems again every one was focusing on him and not the mother. If any of you think I like any of this think again. So yes I hate the father of my children and I will leave it up to my brother upstairs to deal with him.
After Greg got his DUI at sixteen he didn't even get grounded they felt it was punishment enough to lose his licence. He hit another woman in her car.
