04/26/2016
The demons suppress our emotions. The system medical and pharmaceutical oppresses our emotions. Then we do it to ourselves. Emotions especially the painful ones hurt. I do not lie. If I can walk through this emotional and physical pain with a mother fucking back pack on my back everyday then so can you. Through this time they have taught me balance and to work with what I have to work with. OMG! The pain when the scoliosis kicks in and flares up and still carrying that back pack in the sun and rain all to get to the next destination has made me stronger physically mentally and emotionally. As you notice when I go through the emotions I just accept them as they come along. I don't usually have an opportunity to analyze just what I did or felt. Each time after I let the tears flow I just got up and moved on to my next destination and observed and participated in whatever it is they wanted to show me.
You don't know how many times I have said to them, "really you want me to do this? You want me to say that? No way I'm not doing that." Their reply was "when the time comes he will know just what you meant." You don't even know how many times I have said "I don't even know what it means, so how is he going to understand?" You know it's not everyday a woman gets woke up at night by someones wife who has passed on, not just one but the sister in law too. I mean like that isn't just more weird to add to all the other weird stuff.
A couple of nights ago I got so pissed off again. Of all people, a man who has money? Ish! Not like I haven't dealt with enough bullshit games in my life. The power trip and control of a man who has money? Fuck that! They are the most opinionated pussy boys I have ever met. Men who are rich don't take care of things on their own they hire someone to do it. Okay not all. Still haven't they taken me out of my comfort zone enough already? I mean really already when is this enough? Sometimes I don't like my family upstairs. They piss me off. You had better hope to God he finds me when this goes down. I heard from them things are going to get dark real fast.
I never imagined in a million years that I would be alive for the end of times as we see today. Truly never even had a clue what it would be like. Still don't really. They brought me to one more thought well many more but when you think about it, this is spiritual warfare. Going to be allot of dark spirits flying around us wreaking havoc while the ones above fight this right here on this planet. When you think about it we are the sheep in all this. The dark satanist spirits want our souls that is what they have been feeding off from us for so long. This battle has been going on for a long time and we have separated ourselves so much that mankind is blind to it.
These demons are going to lift at once when this hits. During that time those demons and all those fallen angels want our souls. Satan doesn't give a fuck about this planet because he is a spiritual being. It's us he wants. Mother fuck that is why all the darkness so close by right around me all my life. Weird I thought things were really odd back then. I didn't know what but I knew their was nothing I could do about it. Fuck yeah I hid. Sometimes just walking by people the weirdest and strangest things would come out of peoples mouths. Oh and the sexual stuff. As if.
The demons want the planet. It is all these ET's I see all about. I didn't know what else to call that thing I started to figure out was in the ground where I stuck the staff. I always wondered why that spot of all spots? These are the ones working on our DNA. These are the ones who truly want mother earth and have been here for centuries stripping this planet of our resources. This is all the experimentation. The ones who are doing this are not God's spirits. Extra Terrestrial are celestial and spiritual beings like us. Just in their own way and way more advanced. This Galaxy has some good seeds but it has bad seeds to just like us. For some reason I'm thinking Satan made a deal with these ones. They are defiantly working hand in hand. That is the brother does not lie with brother in EVOL and EVIL come from that I see.
I wrote this last night I think on the bus coming back from dropping off a application. I discovered the day before when I got on the wrong bus and headed to South Center Mall that their is a route from there that goes right to the room I'm renting. I figured from there things were looking up for me to get a job in that location. You know a good sign. You have no idea how many restaurants I have tried or did apply to and walked into to get a job serving food. Between the technology and parameters and guidelines you can't even get in front of anyone.
I could in this one. When I walked in last night I was told to come back today at two or Thursday at two if I want to interview with him. He said that a few times Thursdays date and time. I am ready to jump ship and bail. You try being this controlled everyday of your life and discovering just what this is all about? Sometimes I just want a break.
Less than a week or maybe a week ago for some odd reason I started seeing myself walk around outside nude. They kept showing me this for like two or three days. Now I have never had any desire to walk nude in the forest a day in my life. On a beach topless maybe. Well when I was younger actually I would of did that up to a couple months ago, but things happen to a woman's body when you lose fat cells. Mother Fuckers anyways. A woman's breast is her identity and femininity and for them to take them does not make me happy at all. Remember I only had two daughters this is just not right.
Let's get back to that spiritual warfare. Let me explain just how these demons came about. We did it. We metastasized theses demons ourselves. With help from down below. With help from right here centuries ago when religion came in to play. All these laws and rules making it harder and harder to even live. All this pressure. So when we get fed up and start pointing the finger to someone else we leave them with that negative energy. When we make someone feel bad about themselves after awhile they start to feel bad about themselves and then the human spirit slowly starts to erode away. Then more guilt and shame at times just for seeing things that no one ever bothered to look into or explain. So all that compounded on one person then the broken heart goes right along with the broken spirit and that dark energy of the demon bonds itself to you. Slowly at first then more and more as things get harder and more and more people get rejected by their families, the system and even within churches. Rejection and it's all these demons that feed off that energy.
It makes you weak inside your heart as it fills with darkness, sadness and fear. Then that pain release in our bodies because the spirit is weak and the heart work hand in hand it goes in to our bodies and that darkness grows into disease and for some cancer. Wow! I cannot believe to this day I figured that out. So our hearts when our hearts are full of the darkness (the fear, guilt and shame= demon) you can't see the light. It blocks you from seeing or even seeing the light of what they don't want you to see and that is the truth of what is happening all around. Please get strong on the inside the time is near. I'm not exactly sure when. I remember writing somewhere a long time I go. I don't know if it's two minutes, two days, two weeks, or two months? I don't know if I'm behind or ahead of the game?
I know I started out a long time ago talking about poison. I have discovered their is more than one poison. The one we don't see is the poison in the lie and the energy of that lie that we pass around. I wrote in my journal last night, "poison is in the lies we tell each other and ourselves each day. It is those lies that block you from the truth." We create lies in our minds so we don't have to bother with the truth. To much energy to even deal with the truth right? Might have to add something else to your day? Not really by seeing the truth you can let all that other garbage that really holds you back go. From being happy. I mean truly happy. I know letting go is the hardest thing to do. Especially after something has been taken away unexpectedly. That one is the hard one. To have someone there one minute and the next thing you know they are gone. No matter what I always tell my girls I love them. When they were lil I said, "I love you but I'm really not liking your behavior right now."
I wouldn't want to be in the same house with us three. It literally is those two ganging up on me because these two have already decided how this is going to go down. Please, I see them both coming. This time around if I even get to a table with those two. "Mom, don't speak. Mom, don't mention anything about any colors. Then later on they tell me "mom I don't even know what a pink moon is? They won't even let me answer. When this started my friend Cyndi had to kick them out of my hotel room because they would not listen to me when I would say, I understand, believe it or not I heard every word of what you two want. They just don't understand that I cannot give them peace of mind right now. They will understand that someday. My children do not understand me because they are young and they don't have children of their own. They cannot relate.
When I was asked, "can we come in you to save your family?" I had no idea it had anything to do with my children or anyone else's child. It doesn't matter how old they get they are, always our children. I am always no matter how old I get, their mother. This will be a very dark time when this hits. It will be spiritual and physical warfare. No one can walk away from this. Not one human being, no matter where you hide. The weather of mother nature the fist of God is coming on. With whatever is going to hit. We are going to see things going on around us like no one has ever seen before. It's not just the rapture, spiritual and physical and mental warfare. With all the brainwashing that has gone on. We have gotten some very blase' and content people who think because they hold the purse strings that I am going to cave. I told my mother a long time ago, "you can't buy my love." I have learned from this you cannot buy your way out of what is coming up. God don't care how rich you are. You stripped away the trees, the rock, the air, the soil you poisoned with your seed. Your wars?
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