Hey Jude

04/15/2016
Today I am tired and my body doesn't feel so hot. For the last couple of day's I've about blown my top with all this technology. No updating my post. Having to save them. It was a couple of days ago when I started to realize if it wasn't for Michael I wouldn't be here right now. I meant the emotion hit me and the tears flowed. The words were pouring out through my fingertips. Then it hit me, these post haven't been saving. Sure enough it wasn't. It is pissing me off when my emotions get cut off. Once I get through the emotion, the realization of just what I have figured out then, bam! Technology shuts down and so do I. I am so ready for my own computer and space you have no idea. Just free to write without all the interruptions and the timer light blinking away beside me. It won't stop blinking until I acknowledge it.

Yesterday I woke up nauseated. The woman I drive in the evenings threw up the night before. Not good for me. Some people do not understand that is just not something my body can tolerate. The slime, color, chunks and smell. I'm done. I told Audrey that I'm going to avoid the 3rd story for awhile. I explained why and the next thing out of her mouth was, "Colleen, was it allot? What was it?" Like I would ever stick around to find that out. Judy is eighty eight remember? She thought it was food poisoning and so did I.

In the morning I woke and in about forty five minutes I had melted two nausea pills under my tongue. Not good enough. By the time I hit the first floor I was sick. Do you know what it is like to throw up in a public toilet and have the person next to you start asking you questions like, "what time is it?" She just kept talking away expecting a reply to her litany of questions. My stomach felt like a brick was sitting in it and my lower back hurt. It wasn't as bad when I had food poisoning two months pregnant with Kiley. The hurt and pain in my lower back on that one. I didn't have a fever. The other women weren't feeling so hot either. Not good because I had a chore to do still and three peoples stuff to haul down three flights and across two parking lots.  Audrey passed the chore on and I needed to bail because there was a line at the bathroom door and we are locked in here and out at the blue house out until seven a.m. I had to park by a gas station that actually allowed the public to use the restroom. They are rare out here in the wild.

Judy went to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was up with that because I knew more about Judy and her needs. I was trying to sleep in Judy's car at the park for the use of a restroom near by. It wasn't working out so well I couldn't get to my stuff that morning either for a change of clothes or my bedding to crash somewhere. It was to cold. Judy called. She's back, and needs a ride to the pharmacy. I give up and head back over to the house and I realize it's only eight ten and the pharmacy doesn't open until nine. Judy has pneumonia for the fourth time and as it turns out we both had the flu. No rest for the weary out here. No where to rest and re-coup. I have learned out here their is someone always worse off. Even later that day when my body ached I had to wait for a shower time and the new girl was fifteen minutes late into my shower time. Later I tried to lie down out in the car and someone knocks on the window. When I was inside I was trying to roll my smokes. I rolled eleven and I got one. This tobacco sure is a pain in my ass. I understand it tames the wild. It calms them right down but really ladies? I charged them and I made four bucks. Now I'm almost to my very own pack of smokes. I was just to tired and sore to roll anymore for myself.

Judy was taking her son to court the next morning in Bellevue. They were going to get an early start. If Curt doesn't show up she has to pay a five thousand dollar bond. Needless to say she did not make it and neither did Curt. I found out that Judy has never had an eviction or late rent. Her son and grandson were living with her. I know what you are thinking and I don't disagree with any of you. Throw their ass out the door. From what I could gather it wasn't a legal eviction. You know the underhanded things people do to make people lose their home? They don't look at the bigger consequences of their actions, but really should this woman have to pay? She can't get a place to rent because of that eviction. I know you can go down a gauntlet of help. It's a huge amount of leg work and time and most of the time you get nowhere. If you fit within that parameter and this could takes months or even a year. Just because someone says or assumes their is someone else to help out in this system you are wrong. We are so buried under all this information and back handed illegal B.S. that these landlords play. Who was in charge of this shit and whom let it get so far out of hand? All these civil cases sure are creating all this uncivil behavior in all walks of life. It's nothing but a blanket injustice system and their ain't no justice anymore.

I do understand their is a problem with the clientele now but the answer wasn't to raise the rent on people and strong arm them in leases. Now the people who should be able to afford a roof over their head can't afford it. It's getting worse and worse. The answer is to balance these numbers again. Balance you want, balance you shall have. Peace you want, peace you shall have. Freedom you want, freedom you shall have. Freedom to have love. Freedom to feel true love, free of rejection, heartache, pain and lies.