Tin Man

04/18/2015

Feeling a lil melancholy. A lil tearful even as they walk me through so many emotions in such a short amount of time. I was feeling really good Saturday night. Thing's were looking up for just a lil while. For just a moment of my so called miserable lil life. Oh I know it's not so miserable anymore. It's just the beauty in the pain of the emotions as they wash through me. They let me see the brotherhood and sisterhood in My Michael and Me. All that we have shared and Lost. I was seeing the light in Michael again. I can see Him growing stronger. I just need Michael to carry that torch for just a lil while longer. The day I couldn't move Michael my Rock. I could see Michael's rock inside growing bigger and stronger. I tried to tell him, oh so gently as I could "Michael, I need you to get this. I need you not to depend on anybody to hold you up. I need you to let your fears go. I need you to hold yourself up Michael." I need you to know Michael that I followed my heart Michael. Through you I found Him. Through you Michael I would of never found out who I am. For you Michael I learned what it is to be grateful for being found even when I didn't know I was lost.

When I yelled at you Michael on Saturday night, when that girl walked by with scabs on her face, just as I was gonna light my smoke. You tried to stop me. I yelled out " Michael it's to late for you to protect me now. I've slept in the wood's and out in the open, in a gold field. I slept in strangers homes. I got raped. Now I walk these alleys and these streets alone in this animal kingdom I roam alone everyday now. Morning, noon and night. It's to late to protect me Micheal. I'm way ahead of you now Michael."

Some lessons in life are to show you just what you are capable of in life. I need Michael to stand tall and stand strong. Michael told me last week that he was looking back on all this at himself and he realized " boy I've been a Dick. Just a great big Dick to you." I kinda laughed because looking back on all these brothers of mine. that was a common theme. My brothers are all great big dicks. All just GREAT BIG MOTHER FUCKING DICKS." After all I have been through I'd have to say, I've been a pretty good sport about all this brotherly, and sisterly love bullshit I see going on around me. When I look at my brothers from a sisterly perspective, 'I'd have to say my big brothers suck. I'm tired of taking it up the ass from my brothers. I want them to clean up there own shit from now on. I want them to clean up there own messes and there own sides of the street. No more mothers to blame, clean up or feed you. If you can't feed yourself and care for yourself, whom said and made it a rule it's her role? It's her job automatically?

I want all this Ego Bullshit to fall out of the sky.
I want my brothers and sisters to follow the golden rule,
do unto others, as they have done unto you bullshit to disappear.
I want to wash away the stain upon my families name
After this we clean the slate
We start with Honor
We start with Trust
We start with Respect
We stand with Courage
We stand with Faith
We stand with Fate

We Honor our brothers
We Honor our sisters
We Trust in our brothers
We Trust in our sisters
We Respect our brothers
We respect our sisters
Love
Love is a mutual thing
Love is a two way street
No one stands higher
No one stands lower

With an open fist
We touch her gently
As we wipe the tear from her cheek.
It takes a real man to respect a woman
To take a stand with her in your heart
Lets bring the Mothers back to the tables

Lets work together and figure out just what we need to do.
To stand together strong
To stand together as one.

Lets put our Faith back together in people
Lets hold our hand together in prayer
Let's hold our hand together in song
Lets hold our hands together as we dance
Lets hold our hands together as we move our feet
And dance to the beat of our own drum

Theirs a first time for everything
If you want things to change
Change the way you do them
I didn't know what I was talking about before
I didn't know then what I know now.

I know one thing for sure
Every time you look behind you
I will always be there
Every time you look beside you
I'll always be there
Tucked up underneath
or over the top
There is no one I'd rather wrap my arms around
Each night I wake up
or lift my head
It is your face I see
Every time I look up.