Got To Do Your Part

Got to do your part. When was the first time I heard this? The river of snakes in California. Greg had to get out of town almost every weekend. He didn't start going to class on a regular basis until the school made it mandatory the last 3 quarters. Greg played volleyball. He went on 3 trips without me while in California. I wasn't allowed to go on one. I was offered to go on a cruise 6 months away for 300 dollars. Greg said no. I worked the first year at Lockheed making 8 bucks an hour. This place was office space. Hired as an admin and on my first day taken to the filing vault to work as a clerk.

I took time off toward the end of my year to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I was in the room laying down when Greg answered the phone and he yelled Colleen your grandfather just died. About 3 weeks before my wedding. I put in my notice during my vacation time. I had to move that file vault from one location to another. It seemed almost every job I had working as a temp I had to move the job to another location before I could start mine. With Greg over the years all I did was pack and haul to go on all these trips.

In California the river of snakes I had just sat down. James, Xavier and Greg all got up. Greg walks by me and tells me I have to do my part. Whose new car was that? Whose camping equipment was that? Who just worked a 50 to 60 hour week? I was still there by 5ish and who packed it all up? Who shopped for and prepared the food for these trips? Me. This was the first time I heard this. By our third summer I had to cut it back to every other weekend. Greg kept using excuses like this will be the last time or last chance. I wanted an annulment before we moved back to Washington because of this. He talked me out of it and said we'd slow down. We didn't.

While in California we lived in Santa Clara, Mountain View, and Sunnyvale. I worked as a temp at three different companies. I worked long term contracts with these companies. By the time we left I was making 17 dollars an hour with overtime. Greg couldn't even tell me in advance when he had state tests to pay for. It was always on the day of that he'd tell me he needed 250 dollars. I explained money doesn't grow on tree's.

In the beginning we did laundry together. If we were home we spent Sundays alone on the couch watching my collection of Disney movies. I started collecting them with my mother in my teens. Greg got half during the divorce. No his having to get out of town and needing a break is all I heard everyday.

I started counseling before I moved to California. Knowing that I grew up with a mentally ill mother. I knew by the age of 3 that she didn't need to have children. That she should of gotten permission from someone, including a psychological exam by the state. I learned one thing from my mother? That is how not to be. How not to treat others through bullying and humiliation. She was a narcicist through and through. She was belittling and if she didn't get her way she'd either start swinging or she would make you suffer if you tried to set boundaries with her demanding nature, It is never enough attention for her. She used her 3 children as objects. I didn't want to be a "no mom."

I went to pre-marital counseling on my own to be aware of things that may come up and how to communicate to resolve any issues. I went to 2 sessions of one on one counseling. My first counselor after I gave him an example of abuse, he told me to run and not look back. He also said I am nothing like my mother if I am sitting here. I took a quilting class. I used my antique sewing machine in a black box. I did a session of group counseling, and a series of dianetics. It was on how to do a clearing through emotions until certain situations didn't effect you anymore. I also had a spiritual advisor named Tammy. I worked with her at Lockheed. Her right hand moves like mine when she is tuned in. I did it for personal growth, I also did volunteer work for teens that were borderline teen members.

At the age of 15 I worked in the service industry at Pietros pizza. I worked with kids that were special ed. I had a special ed aunt from my childhood. In my Junior year I took a CNA class. I worked with Mrs. Laws for 3 weeks, she was slower but capable and logical. 3 weeks later they had her strapped down to a bed screaming like a baby. The word I got off of her was dignity. Why are your institutions more dignified than these people being at home with family? Why is it okay for you to do this, yet family members can't childproof their room and lock the door at night? You can strap them down to a bed. I didn't disagree however your laws don't treat people with dignity.

The other two things I got to see was a circumcision on a boy and a cesarean on a pregnant woman. No meds for the circumcision and I learned to see fat cells and how they melt with just the touch of a hand. The first thing that popped out was her hand still in the placenta. It looked purple. My first thought was alien baby. I was only 16 to 17 at the time. I went to Beauty School my senior year in high school and did advance training that summer. Weird things happened to me in Seattle. My instructor Steve had to give me a talk about how the weird things only happen to me and who my clientele really are. I liked my clientele. Some were lesbians and transvestites. I didn't care. I enjoyed my clientele. To each his own. Yes I had a few stalkers.

Easter Island

For Crying Out Loud/Meat Loaf  12/24/2018
I was wondering what was up with Easter Island? Finally figured it out? Back to the Sentinel I go. It turns out those rocks are called the Sentinel. How many times has The Sentinel come up in my life? In the fifth grade, I had sat and watched a scary movie called The Sentinel. A woman rented an apartment. She did not know all her neighbors were dead. They could not leave that place. Then the black beings came walking though her walls. That was when the grays started standing in my room. I had just gotten a red bible with my name printed in Gold. I opened it to Revelations and those four horsemen. I threw the book and I said not my God. My God would never do a thing like that. I had just learned to say in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you. Now I'm here to say yes God would. Yes he would protect his rock, his flock, his rose, the essence of the apple and the heart beat of this rock. The hand that feeds all life. This circle of life. The animal kingdom, the heavens that surround it and on this rock, is your mothers garden. It is her family farm. Meant to feed all her children. All her beasties from below and on this ground. Under the waters, and in those blue skies. Luna the moon, or is she called Sin? This Cinderella mother is the sweeper of the stars. The Gifted, the name of the institution that they are locking up the higher beings in? The Sentinel. If U don't think I don't see the silencing of my little lambs sitting in those institutions? Think again. You western medicine and big brother don't want mother natures little beasties to connect to the light. To our ancestors going all the way back, or is it Jacob's Ladder? Stairway To Heaven?
The Boys Of Summer/DH
Back to that number four. First I heard the horses run up behind me. When I turned around there was nothing there. I hadn't even made this agreement yet. Later I learned of the four horsemen. Then it was about the four fathers. Then those names turned religious on me. I was carrying key number four for a day. Like I've said b4 being taken to a big white tee pee. Standing in front of a door number 4. Today December 24th 2018, I just realized it was forty years ago today that my brother was in a car wreck. Just after he escaped from juvie. He called to come home for Christmas. My mother said, No! I wish you'd just go off and die somewhere. Well he did. It was Christmas morning we got a call. We packed up and went to Eastern Washington.
Sweet Home Alabama/LS
My mother wouldn't let my sister in to see him. She told her no he looks like a vampire. Since when did this woman protect us and our feelings? It turns out because of who he really was inside, that's why he looked like a vampire? He was love that was never fed love. Just hate and blame. Back to the lock up he goes. Where someone else holds those keys to his kingdom. No one ever came to tell me my brother died. It seems my whole life was like that. The invisible child. I didn't cry until my father walked into the funeral doors. I've thought about that? The need to cry on someone's shoulders when things get to be to much? I recon it was 2016. I felt like that at times with Kyle. Just climb up him and cry. Funny I don't feel that way anymore. The need to cry on anyone's shoulder? It just doesn't exist for me anymore. I believe I have figured out how picture's are disappearing out of my phone? We wonder why I don't have Trust? It doesn't matter in my life, damned if I do and damned if I don't. My whole God Damned life. What does that make me? The Queen Of The Damned. That's who. Well I will be God Damned.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn/Poison
Funny, this is exactly what I've been thinking come judgment day.
It's All Coming Back To Me/Meat Loaf
MERRY CHRISTmas!

The Curse Of Oak Island

There Was This Girl/RG
I have learned some knew stuff watching these documentaries. Thankfully so. One is called The Curse Of Oak Island. I've seen these advertisements for this show but what caught my eye long ago was the shape of the island. It was the elephant. The two animals that showed up right away on this journey was the wolf and the elephant. I have explained the wolf in the past and the elephant in my past writings. What also caught my attention was the name of the island oak. Oak is my mothers wood. I have learned recently that my tree is the willow tree.

Sail/Awolnation
No I didn't really watch this show. What is pissing me off when I did watch it was once again all the destruction to discover something. I heard a commercial on the television mentioning Oak island and the Knights Of The Templar. I tuned in. What caught my attention was what they really are searching for? The Arc Of The Covenant. What shocked me however was I didn't know the location? The location, Nova Scotia. I asked Michael last night after he got home, "where is this at?" His answer, Canada. My head dropped. That explained so much? The next red mittens I received, are red, black and white with a big Canadian leaf on the back of them. I had already figured out one part of the colors red, black and white? Druids. I mean I know I'm the red, white and blue flag of freedom for mankind, yet I am of all color.

Tears In Heaven/EC
I found it interesting that I believe in Canada they are called ambassadors is that he is one of the first government officials to speak blatantly about alien's being prominent here on this rock. What else is interesting is that a lot of the alien Netflix shows comes out of Canada. Canada has freedom. Canada has closer to what our healthcare should be like. Then the dreams I had in Canada? I loved finding out who that native man was that I met up with at the end of my dream? This man I didn't need this clearing to show me the end of my dream to let me know that I meet up with people at the end, like a video game getting directions or being told something pertinent to tell you your next destination. I have always wondered whom he was and when I picked up the oracle cards and I saw his name, White Eagle. I was like yes! That's a find.

Under My Wheels/Bonzos
I could kind of remember that I was meeting up with people. I'd wake up asking myself sometimes did I just meet up with a man at the end of that dream? Yeah when JC showed up in September of 2016 I knew instantly who he was. I have discovered I have more than one big daddy issue. Now it's take your pick. You want JC, Osiris or Zeus? Yeah, it's still kind of shocking but it was an awesome discovery.

Every Little Thing/CP
I have been watching a documentary on the FBI their role and history with the past presidents. What made me happy was seeing people in this system whom do have ethics. Yes, I did see it on Zeitgeist when I saw that one representative screaming and yelling about the twin towers. How our government just turned a blind eye and conveniently left things out of the report. For example the chemical on it. How we did have knowledge of it before. I watched another documentary on the fall of the banking system in 2008. I was so happy to hear Bush say, so let them fall. It's not our issue. Once again I noticed we always have one person or a group of people protecting this entity. We keep protecting this machine called world economy, and like I said in the beginning let the money go.

What A Friend/JL
Yes all these God's that we have allowed this system, the elite and entitled turn them into myth. I can't wait to say they do exist. To give humanity back hope and truth one last time. To let them see what God and family tree line really run this rock. Not man and machine that's for sure. Look what we have done. I have to say we have taken a step back, actually one huge leap back from evolution all to go in my landfills, and cemeteries to feed a machine and not man. I got a refresher on Valiant Thor, he was 1957 to 1960. He wanted those war heads gone out of Russia and the U.S. My seeing a big fist over that swastika. Then listening to these documentaries people in our own government fear they are still here for a take over and our governement they feel isn't doing enough. Now I have ISIS and North Korea. No we haven't stepped forward for the good of this rock meant to feed all of Gods flock or ego in man, big brother still in the treatment of our women, but religion. No we have not advanced.

The Ritual

July 4th 2015
They asked if they could come inside me? I said yes.
The agreement
1. To have faith to go through any open door.
2. To accept anything freely given (at times clothing)
3. To have faith to live come what may everyday.
4. To be willing to look crazy.
Gregory Allan Pfiffner and Mary Cochran Stone, that's not to hard for me to do is it? Not after the character assassination you to did on this mothers character. All to cover a white collar crime that you two committed 20 years ago. No to move forward we have to go back. Weren't we always supposed to have a fair justice system based on Truth? No you allowed these two people to file an unwarranted restraining order on this woman because they literally took everything out of her name. Her three businesses and four bank accounts. This woman already lived in chains in her marriage. She just like Leonardo Davinci on Davinci Demons had to fight for the right to speak against their accusations. Do you know the reputation you gave this woman in her children's school and the way she was treated after words all because you didn't set up a fair truthful justice system.

It cost these two 65 dollars to file that restraining order. Yet you ignored it in divorce court and made it all about insurance and whose gonna pay for his school loan. The character assassination went on for years after that.

I sat there for hours after I made this agreement my eyes closed a smile on my face just saying mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. I sat for hours until I realized my body aches from not moving for so long. I pulled out of it. I saw myself bowing to a woman in yellow and saying namiste. I stood up and Michael grabbed me and picked me up. I was weak and tired. As he was carrying me I whispered to Michael, "what's namiste?" I saw big white angel wings as he was carrying me to my bed. He said "an agreement." I thought to myself "great another agreement." For the next couple of day's I went through rituals, of I recon the fertility goddess.

I wouldn't sleep in the house. I wanted to still keep an eye on Katie and Michael. I just didn't want Michael near us. Close enough to keep my eye on. His behavior was nothing of the Michael I knew. The next morning I woke up. I placed four colored jars around the fire pit V had made a couple years before. I brought out my coconut oil and a bottle of water.

I was asked to lie back in a zero gravity chair, on a zero gravity lot. I had to picture a red stone on my 2nd chakra and picture blood flowing into the earth. As I was doing this I got taken to a scene where Greg's hands were in chains behind him. He was down on his knee's with his head on the ground. I could feel energy all around us, like we weren't alone. I was screaming at God "don't take his life. Don't do this to my children. He will get it, he will get it this time God." I kept feeling like my right foot wanted to kick him in the ribs. I held back I didn't know what it was about. As I was going through this scenario, I could feel something slide out of the base of my ribs at the lower right. I could feel ,hear and see my body slam down hard. When I came out I had tears streming down my eye's. It never dawned on me that I was standing in front of God for sometime. I just kept wondering from this point on, "what's up with this garden?"

Then I got taken into a scene with this huge black shadow in the shape of man. It's not the first time I had seen this black shadow. For some reason I wasn't afraid, I was angry. I threw all my anger, hate and rage into this black shadow. This is where I exhausted myself and fell down onto my stomach face down on the ground. I got up on all fours and I looked to my right and I said, "that's it isn't it, you buried me under all this pain to hide me from the Truth. I slammed out of it.

Sitting on the edge of this fire pit was a piece of wood. It looked like a big fish with a small bottom lip. Later I saw a picture of the fish on Ancient Aliens. I sent that photo to Kyle. It was smoking. I twirled it over my head in circles and then I inhaled it. I stepped off to the side to the East of the fire pit. As I was standing I had to bare down and picture blood flowing from between my legs down into the earth.

I then walked off into a clearing in the forest, (the whole time I walked through these woods in the next weak or so I had on my lil red suede elf slippers with a sole. I recon the native way of those red ruby slippers that Dorothy was fighting for.) I carried with me a key with the number four on it. I was taken to a great big white tee pee that was sitting on the other side of the river. All these years of living in this valley and I never knew it was there. Then I walked to a storage unit with the key in my hand staring at door number four. I was wondering what the number four represented. Later I figured out it was those horses I heard run up behind me my first night on the property.

It was twilight, I had my back to the woods and I was just about to the house when I heard horses run up behind me and stop. I turned and when I looked there was nothing there. I tip toed quickly into the house. I went to the garage where I saw V's sleeping bag on the floor. V's garage was very organized. Like she was set up for a war to go down. I realized then why she wanted us to come stay with her. She was afraid of her house. She had mentioned something about trolls being under her house. V does not scare easily. I made the agreement then to find out what is scaring V. The tenant before shot herself in the head in Phil's old room. No, I have no idea why I didn't have fear. After being taken back through my dreams and later after a narration I had done on all the injustice, I realized about 8 months later that I spent 5 day's in that valley shadow of death. This is how my family protects me, they don't let me know until well after what I had gone through. By then I had no reason to have fear by the time they tell me it was far behind me.

I had shortly after this they let me know it had something to do with my diet, and the way I eat. I go through stages and I only eat when hungry, usually what I'm craving. I hiked through trails for the next week or so. They were showing me around the woods and what they wanted me to learn and see about my environment. About this mountain with a broken heart.

I'm not sure what came first with Michael? If he handed me his eye glass case with his meth pipe. It was to Michael from Erb. He said it's like it saying to him that I can't have him only he can. Not Erb but this dragon that was sitting on his head. I grabbed it out os his hand and I said "yes Michael, that's just the point.

We had two other scene's well three with each other. The next was when Michael was standing outside. I couldn't get him to move. He had this stance that I had seen before with another man in my dreams. I was about to see it one other time with someone else on this journey.

I had my arms out to the side yelling at Michael, "what is wrong with you Michael? I could alway's move you Michael. Why Can't I move you?" He just stood there unmovable by emotions. This had never happened to us before. Michael and I were best friends for five years before we started living together.

As I'm looking at Michael I kept hearing the words, " Lakota and Dakota." I knew I had heard those words before just not sure where from. I could see standing inside Michael 3 beings. The words did not add up to what I was seeing standing inside him. I could clearly see 2 Egyptian figures. The one on the right clearly a woman and she had her right hand palm up pointing to the West. The male figure was on the left doing the same pose with the left hand. I could clearly see a little boy standing inside Michael. He had a short shag haircut. A long sleeve red T-shirt and he had dark circles under his eyes.

I figured out two things later on. First I had forced Michael to meet me at a restaurant, this was after I stepped out the door. It was during the first four day's of me putting that back pack on my back. Michael told me that this boy has a name? His parent's called him Myron. I sat there for a moment stunned. I said "you mean to tell me this little boy has been inside you all these years? Your parent's could see him inside you and they actually named him. That is one strong little boy if I couldn't move him.

It took me about six months or more to figure out that little boy is my brother. I kept getting the number 10 off of this boy. At the time I hadn't connected the number with Lyle's 7 and 3. I still at the time hadn't clued in to much that this had something to do with my daughters. Right after I made this agreement, I had a picture of my 2 daughters.

The Arc Of The Covenent

The Arc Of The Covenant
Crib Kent, Renton and Kelso Longview
A toad, then in my bed at left shoulder.
Age 3
A bird close by including a man named Birdie. A black shadow that would disappear whenever I'd turn to look at it head on. 
Age 5
Anubis at window
Lakota on my bed, left hand toward me,
a wolf in my closet. He'd sit there with his elbows on his knees.
The last couple times that I saw him he had little red girls in red dresses with red bows
climbing all over him. At this time in my life I started dragging bags of rocks under my bed.
age 8, Ross street. Kelso Washington
A cowboy whittling wood. He'd stand leaning on my closet wall just across from my bedroom door.
I'd get up at night and my window faced the South, I'd sit up at night and watch a rainbow egg up to my left floating in the air.
Age 9 Renton Washington
4th grade black shadow.
Age 10 Renton Washington
After my brothers death this is when the grays started appearing in my room. They'd crouch behind the furniture. I'd watch them move from location to location. I felt like they wanted to stake me in the chest. They'd shake my bed if I fell asleep. If I moved to the living room they followed. This is when I got my first bible. A red bible with gold print with my name in gold.
The first story I opened to was Revelations the four horsemen. I threw it. I said "not my God. My God would never do that. Well it turns out oh yes he would. When it turns out to protecting his rock his flock.
We moved up to Honey Dew Estates off of Union and Sunset.
6th grade
This is where I liearned from a sitter that I would sit up and have whole conversations. I remember clearly lying down and sleeping. My grandmother told me my uncle Ted sleep walked as a child.
7th grade on.
I wasn't sure what was happening but I knew whenever I'd wake up at night that I had the feeling that something just happened. I started sleeping with a light bulb plugged into my wall. One night Gwen spent the night. I remember waking up twice feeling like something had happened. I asked her and she said she woke up twice too. She said the second time she saw the tidy bowl man go down my heater vent.
One night I heard paper shuffling. I turned on my bedside lamp. I had just cleaned my room and I knew their wasn't anything on the floor. I crawled to the foot of my bed I looked down and a couple hours later I was sitting up in my bed looking at the clock. I have no memory of what happened in those couple of hours time.
As an adult it was at the beginning of my marriage to Greg. I was sleeping downstairs in Greg's old room. I had to nightmares. The first was Queenie the cat was in my room, I awoke with a startle backing away from her screeching inhaling trying to scream. The second was an overweight woman was sitting at a dining table eating, she comes crashing threw the ceiling down on me. I started flailing around.
Toward the end of my marriage I kept having two dreams. One was where I was falling down on the ground. I couldn't get up. I was surrounded by people and no one noticed. It was like I wasn't even there. The second my teeth kept shattering and falling out of my head.

I knew during my marriage that my dreams were starting again. I'd awake with my heart racing feeling scared. I could feel Greg's hand prints on my arms. When I'd look over I'd see Greg's back to me. I'd wonder how a husband could just turn his back on his wife and fall back to sleep so fast?

Fall City 2012
The first to show up in my room was a woman dressed in purple from the 60's, right hand in the air, a purple book and rosary in left hand. The clock said in red through her 3:16 a.m.
The second a gray. I didn't need to turn around or open my eyes. I said ICU. ICU standing there. I rebuked him in the name of Jesus Christ.
Then a second, the same thing. I said ICU. ICU standing there. I went to rebuke him and he threw a blanket on my head.

Stairway 2 Heaven

I pledge allegiance 2 the flag of the United States Of America. To the republic 4 which it stands. One nation under God indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all. Any one got a problem with my God? Anyone got a problem with my God that stands for freedom? Anybody got a problem with my God that stands for Justice, Liberty for all? Anyone from another nation another mother land want to come live in my land of freedom and not take a stand for my flag? All IC is others trying to wipe out my God and turn this mother land of red white and blue into gray. Hey my God freed the Israelite's didn't S/he? That was allot of energy wouldn't U say? I mean your mother got credit for 4. Thank U very much for that. 


Hebrews 11:1-3
Now Faith is assurance of things hoped for, Proof of things not seen. By Faith, we understand that the universe has been framed by the Word of God, so that what is seen has not been made out of things which are visible. U might want to think about that, things not seen and that entity.

Read John The Baptist and JC

Down In A Hole/Alice In Chains
Tweet! Tweet! Trump am I the new red, white and blue? Am I the new day? Am I the New Dawn? Am I that nigger loving Pagan Jew whore from Babylon you've all been waiting for? The Joker , the fool, the ares , the ram, god's little lamb. Yup that's right things are about to get Israel up in the house. Here's some food for thought. How did you congress, you elite and entitled feed God's flock? From what I hear Mother Nature and the sun can't feed her children anymore. Is that right? Weren't you told not to sale out the garden to the entity? You know Corporate America and U Big brother. Wasn't it the true intent of the masonry not to let the elite and entitled get a hold of mankind? Didn't you have a being here named Thor for 3 years to get you to stop doing business this way? Death and taxes for whom? Not these people down here. Hell U can't even pay your own debt but U can certainly accumulate it. 

Rape Me/Nirvana
From what IC Corporate America and U big brother is playing God now. Since when is it their job to feed God's flock in this organic trinity that you allowed the wrong 01 in? Now we literally have our own Tron. Compression, suppression, oppression, depression and recession. A bank machine. Oh yeah that's right you didn't feed God's flock. You followed the wrong profit and U fed the wrong stock. From what I can C you valued that machine more than you did mankind and mother natures circle of life meant to feed all of humanity not just a few. That's right why do you need to go live somewhere else if God created this planet, this universe, her animal kingdom that surrounds this rock to feed her children? Why would God ever want you to destroy the very foundation she created to give her children everlasting life and love?

What I've Done/Linkin Park
Why are you and other countries so curious about that little red rock, 2C if we as human beings can live there? I mean even Ancient Alien's, figured out that that little red rock and life are right here. Even Japan are waiting for that grey lil monkey to come back home for this mothers family tree line. Before I go any further do you remember what happened to the Arc Of the Covenant when someone tried to steal it, or the shield or the oracle from the 1600's when the Celts tried to steal her? They all died. Now ask yourself does it really matter if it was technology, the alien's or God'?Not one freckle. Not one dot not one hair their chinny chin chins or my family will just take this house down in one clean swoop and U won't get a chance for redemption. One move and U will have picked a door.

When I'm Gone/3Doors Down
Not one move, not one God Damned move any of you. We are going to talk about how we came to all be standing here today? CIA Christ I Angel, the angel of death and light. Your the drug dealers the 1980's, crack cocaine. It depends what side of love U stand on. We are gonna talk about just why my family is here to take this rock back from the entity. Now I want you to think about that. Their is more than one entity out there. What a mother fucking hot mess you have created down here. Hells kitchen doesn't even begin to explain just what it is I'm looking at. U as man and machine have done a fine job recreating the Leper Colony. IC a monopoly going on down here using humanities body parts as food for the fodder to feed your machine. IC we have a justified system based on institutions and whose gonna pay for someone else's bill, especially for someone else's education today. Weren't we supposed to have a fair justice system based on Truth? I guess this little mother earned her Doctor of Chiropractic degree through Osmosis. I mean if Leonardo can learn from mother nature in all her dimensions why can't I or do I need a pedigree for that?I owe U sitting up there nothing and neither does Gods flock. Not on my rock U don't industrialize your people. U don't poison them and sell them out.

Why Don't You Get A Job/The Offspring's
Perhaps I'm Jobe here to set a new presidence on freedom. Do any of U up there want to tell me since when can't a native woman not make an agreement with her higher power and go on a vision quest to find myself again? To be a vessel for my family tree line. Especially standing on native land. Oh yeah U sold out my garden to the two of U and I recon U own it all. Yeah that's right Trump I'm the bitch that stuck my staff in the ground, piled it with garbage laying around, and I stuck a bloody black bird carcass on top. I started screaming get the fuck off my rock. After I went and sat on the well. Interesting the location, from Mt. Sinia to U in that Washington the breaking of those ten commandment's, to those seven deadly sins to me here in this Washington, Mt. Si. The mountain with the broken heart. After the discrimination IC I'm calling those native treaties back into play. Their ain't no freedom up in this house.

Bullet With Butterfly wings
So Congress and U past president's since when is it ever a good idea to poison mother natures seed?
Why do U think U R worthy of a retirement, as U sit in your river of denial. Why do U think U should have food on your table? Why do U think your so important to have a roof over your head. Only the meek shall inherit the earth not the elite. Not in my house U don't. If the people U serve don't have it neither do U. Is that clear. 
If U can't take your time to hear what I have to say and the unconventional ways my family walked me through to the light? Than I shall not invest my time into U either. I'm going to drop U low in order to kick U high in my judgment of U and your bad behavior this justified system we report to now. This machine with no heart and how we came to be here today than jump ship. One tiny dot or hair on their chinny chin chin, I will huff, I will puff and I will burn this house down. My children have their mothers heart. It's called Love.

Behind Those Eye's/3Doors Down.
1. First they asked may we cum into you? I missed the word we but hey what am I going to do it's family. I agreed to be a vessel for my family tree line.
2. To put your back pack on and have Faith to live come what may everyday.
3. To have Faith to go through any open door.
4. To accept anything freely given.  (to wear certain articles of clothing when asked)
5. To just walk through your system, your cement paradise to hell.
6. Oh and I had to agree to look crazy.  Which isn't so hard for this little mother to do right Gregory Allan and Mary Cochran Stone. The bruising on my for head? What's your Achelous heel boy? Truth. What about 30 with U Gregory Allan years I lived in shackles, and well U Mary Cochran stone what 19 years now?  It turns out our names birth dates and birth signs are universally given. I promise you this little mother wants the Gregorian to fall out of the sky. The set up these 2 did in a 90 day period? He's the Loco not me. He's a sociopath, who can barely eek out a tear. He's a sado machisi tHe's the masochism, he threw me around like a rag doll kitty cat. I got to earn my keep. No Gregory No narcissism there. What a charming little serpent U were straight from the garden.Talk about a broken picker.

Since when is it a crime

Wagon Wheel Darius Rucker
Pope Gregory that turned Mary Madgelane into myth. Made her a whore not JC's soul mate. Made JC a virgin. Cut out half the heart from the start IC. Look Catholic church you made him a saint. No I have nothing to ever thank U for. From the burning of the Bruno, to my knights of the Templar whom are back for the rose. U know what they say every rose has it's thorns. U do not own the keys to get through heaven's gates. Stop using Mother Mary's name as penance on sin. U R not the most pious lot on my rock, not by a long shot I'm the Rose. I'm the queen of those 7 bishops, I'm the cardinal. Hey lil boy get up under my cassock serve me you serve God. U think U of all religions own the keys to heaven's gates? No you as man don't own those keys ever. Not your place, not your space anymore. If U really were doing your job why am I looking at a troll demon sitting on a woman's head. Her head slithered like a snake, because of all your billy boat gruff''s sitting along these highways, collecting more taxes.

You Don't Know How It Feels/tom Petty
How about those sin taxes? That's a revenue U can't let go. That's why you wouldn't do anything about them. Jeff's story age 8 standing in a loft in Texas at a tobacco farm, he had a out of body experience he saw his father running with him in his arms, and Jeff said I woke up and my father no longer owned the tobacco farm his uncle now owned it. So big tobacco, I ain't your tobacco hoe no more. Do I make myself clear.

OMGOD! my music went religious
In Christ Alone With The Solid Rock
We are going to talk about this racism. We are going to talk about God and the Truth about God. We are going to talk about that Texas T and that oil pipe line going through my Lakota tribe. Thot we were done with this kind of encroachment? Still U just come in and take. Just like my other brothers in life, can't say the word no without being jailed and told not to speak. We are going to talk energy God and that big bang theory of creation. We are going to talk about this revolving industry going in my landfills to support the rich and the elite. The wrong stock u fed not Gods flock. No siree Bob not God's flock did U serve or protect. U murder U lie to hide Truth. Thou does not covet and well U just let Big brother covet didn't U? All to feed all these middle men to create the world economy. We are going to talk about Ben Franklin that Kite and key.

Walk This Way/Aerosmith
The Malakites. We are going to talk about Luna the moon. Do U know another name for Luna? It's Sin. Just call me Syn. My first broom a dirt devil and well now I'm just the sweeper of the stars. I need U to listen to my words. This mother believes the more the merrier. I believe in second chances unlike this system that doesn't C abuse or neglect of your mothers tree of life? I want U to keep coming back. Just like all those Gods and entities that surround this rock, God's legion of angels. They do cum in all shapes and forms. Since when is it a mental illness to C your creators wings of his flock, not yours. No U just want to label from that scarlet letter A to I. Mental illness and drop your insurance Why do U big brother get to profit off of humanities suffering and pain? Why do U get to write the rules and block evolution all to feed a matrix. Why do U get to label people as apple and pear, why do U get to label as a colt. Yet I as a native woman can't C the beasties in others? Why do U, as man and a pharmaceutical, your HIPPA in 1996 is the plague that Pestilence is back for. Bill and Hillarly Clinton. Aren't U lawyers? U knew what you were selling out when U passed that bill. The Devils Advocates sitting right up there. SIngning a way a human beings rights for my own spirituality and emotions. You've heard of that horsemen. I got 3 more. Ignorance will no longer be a good excuse for your bad behavior.

On My Sleeve/Creed
(My heart was a hair band with a heart. I wore it when I went to the church of angel's)
Marketing
Pharmaceutical
Insurance health and car
Banks and loans
Education
This revolving technology going in my landfills These electronic friends and family plan, is not our friend it's chaos
This revolving water bottle industry going in my landfills
Food, stoufers, education ,family and happiness my knee hit 666 on the remote, they lie.
Taxes we don't even need to file because U the IRS does know already, yet U allowed this middle man industry in everything.

Witchy Woman/Eagles
weed vs acid and PCP our government
CIA and drugs the 80's
Molina the doctors that didn't repent U went after and rewrote the rules on addiction,
These mistreatment centers doesn't add up
Tradition 6 AA releasing it and turning it over to our  government
U brought NSAIDS to the back and pulled Sudafed up front
Walmart and Bush Sr, gave him a freedom award. My burning Bush family up there? I thot U were a Godly man Bush Jr? Those twin towers. Did I here U say their would be no consequences to any decisions U have made? U know who had it the closest up there? Your brother Jeb, he's right their ain't no heart up in that house. I call bullshit. The Zeitgist, your own people are standing there screaming and yelling, and U guys didn't even acknowledge leaving out that chemical that dropped those building straight down. U just ignore your own people and keep passing laws. to industrialize the human race.




Take a Look At Me Now/PC

Have U Ever Seen The Rain/CCR

When U Say Nothing At All/AK

Slavery

Slavery has no color. Slavery is about oppression, suppression, oppression, depression and recession. What is that it's called a machine a bank that U allowed to write it's own rules on marked up principal with fee's like fleas and taxes. U passed laws to insure everything. That's the biggest God damned hoover vacuum cleaner of an industry to industrialize mankind.

Greg stuck me in a backwards L shaped house. The biggest God damned fixer upper U have ever seen. This house had no character and no charm. It was literally split into 3's. Greg didn't even know how to swing a hammer. It was a 5 years after, I found out from Greg's dad that the boys never had chores. How does any of this add up? It didn't. I got lectured by these people constantly whenever I would look at an object or item, if I looked in a magazine for ideas, all I heard from these people how I just want to spend money. Elaine literally put a price on everything I said.

Greg couldn't balance a check book or change oil in the car. He didn't even understand that U have to change the filter every time or the dirty filter washes back into the clean oil. Greg had never swung a hammer nor did he know anything about remodeling and yearly maintenance on the house.

I discovered I was pregnant by 3 weeks. I always got pregnant in the spring. I knew I was pre3gnant from that deep dizzying fatigue. I couldn't kep my eyes open without trying to get up and just dropping back into a deep sleep. Our friend Debbie was visiting from California. Greg went to Kirkland to visit her and left me behind. He calls me and then he shows up back at his parents house insisting I go to Kirkland. He was telling me I was being rude. I am not a rude person by nature, This was Greg's unrealistic expectations. He didn't even acknowledge my pregnancy or act happy toward me.

We bought this house when I was about 4 months pregnant with Alex. All the work I did just in those couple of months until she was born is this.
First thing we did was put in a wood stove where the fire place was. The wall above went unfinished for a year, until Tanner whom was a drywaller told me how to do it myself.
I found a 3 way mirror on clearance and I found a pedistool sink the same day. Greg and his father took out the old mirror in the bathroom, yet they didn't replace it with the new one. I'd get a migraine every time I walked by. That smell of death under neath our house. I had to call Greg's dad back to put it in because Greg wasn't going to do it. 

I almost miscarried Alex at four months. I was supposed to go on full time bed rest, I couldn't do that I continued to work full time. We car pooled in one car. My new car that I paid for. I counted 9 ant hills on our way to work every morning. Greg got off later so I'd have to ride the bus to Greg's work and wait for him to get off, or I'd drop off Greg and take my car with me and pick him up.

I had to put on a garage sale for Greg's client. People I did not know. Greg volunteered me and told me I need to do my part. That wasn't the first time I heard that from Greg. It was the river of snakes in California. I had already put in over time for the week and we were still at our destination early evening on Friday. It was my new car and that camping gear was purchased by my father and grandmother. I was the last to sit down b4 we unloaded the car. James and Xavier got up first and headed for the car. Greg walks by and said what are U doing just sitting there, U have to do your part. I didn't even have furniture yet in my own home.

Greg and Elaine always had an idea for extra money and that idea usually involved me. I was sewing flax packs for Elaine for extra money. No I never got paid.

I did the nursery for Alex in five months. When I went to look at nursery sets in a magazine getting ideas. My mother in law said, U just want to have nice things and spend money. I was just getting ideas most of what was in my house, I did with my 2 hands. I had to or else nothing got done. Greg literally stuck me in this house when I had 2 houses that were finished for the same price , that I wanted instead. Greg wanted more bang for his buck. That was me, because Greg knew when he married me that I was the Jack of all trades.

The only true thing that Greg said to me was that if I didn't agree with him he would just come in and take it. He did just that with Mary Stone, in a 90 day period.

By 7 months I was still sitting on the floor. Greg had no concept or interest in getting furniture. At 7 months while working full time, sewing flax packs, remodeling the bathroom and the nursery, I had to go on my own shopping for furniture. I hit every furniture store from Kirkland to Sumner until I found the quality vs. the price. I did this on my own.

We had to replace the oven and my refrigerator was a small refrigerator under the counter. I had to get a used small refrigerator to fit under the upper cupboards. It was the kind with an old fashioned ice box that I had to melt the ice out constantly.

During this time Greg couldn't miss a party. No Greg don't stop the party just like his mother. UC Elaine U raised Dexter. Do U know the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath? Sociopaths don't like to get there hands dirty. They prefer U 2 put the weapon in your own hand and point the finger. He is a deflector, who literally sabotaged every job I did. Every time it came down to him doing his part, he didn't do what was agreed on. He did this in our office and at home. I would leave to my families during family emergencies up I-90 and down I 5. We were on our way to our friend Kelly's house for our yearly Christmas party. I got hit with a migraine on our way there. The Gateway, Kent, Washington.The old fashioned kind. Greg wouldn't turn around. He told me it would be rude of me. This was about 3 weeks b4 Alex was born. Greg got drunk on royal crown with some shmuck that the only time this guy spoke to Greg was when he wanted something. Alcohol or an adjustment. I needed to go to the ER. NOOOOO! Greg got drunk and I had 2B his designated driver. I was Greg's designated driver for over 10 years. I wasn't allowed to tie one on or loosen up and have fun bcuz Greg would lecture me. It was okay for him. I didn't really like alcohol. It made me sleepy and gave me a headache.

Right B4 Christmas penny pinching Greg wanted to save 10 bucks. Instead of paying 20 bucks for a tree. He took me and my 2 dogs up into the mountains. It was a rutted road and I was very pregnant. It was so cold my dogs were screaming. Greg insisted we cut down a tree ourselves. He made me carry that tree out of the forest with him.

I received an armoire from my aunt and uncle for the nursery. I repainted it white. It was sitting in the center of our kitchen floor for a couple of weeks. Greg told me I needed to finish it. Take note he could of finished it, but it wasn't his job somehow it became mine. While standing in the kitchen late one night after work, Greg stood over me and lectured me about not opening the window while pregnant. Note my kitchen blinds as well as the whole house the blinds moved they were so old and leaky. He said God how can do that to your own child. Yet what about the mother Greg? When I asked Greg to put the doors back on he did but he couldn't even bother to put them back on straight. He didn't care about anything but himself and his image.

One evening we were watching a comedy, and it was a pregnant woman in a hospital yelling at her husband, U did this 2 me. Greg told me that I am not to blame him for the pain or he would walk out and leave us. Does this sound like a nice guy?

I also became extremely allergic to dust mites while pregnant with Alex. I was up most nights coughing and sneezing. Until about 7 months. I had to treat my house on my own.

I was 19 and half hours in labor on my own in the spare bedroom. Greg slept on the couch. He wasn't there with me during any of it. I don't even know why he bothered to go to Lamaze class? When I came out to wake him off the couch at about 4 30 in the morning. I fell to my knees with a contraction holding my abdomen. Greg stood up over me and asked if I'm sure I'm in enough pain in order to go to the hospital. We made it just in time. I was at a 5.

I had been up for 3 nights. It turned out after I got home that I had bronchitis. The doctors and nurses heard me coughing but they did not acknowledge because I wasn't there for that. My fever 103.5. While in the hospital after I delivered Alex. Greg started making calls to friends. He told me I was being rude because I was to tired to speak on the phone.

The agreement was that Greg would take off 3 weeks to help me with the baby. I wanted him to bond with her on his own. Elaine had asked if she could come and stay during this time? I answered that would be great, however I have Greg at home with me for 3 weeks can we do it after that? I'm sure I would still need the help. Instead Elaine's feelings were hurt by that, Greg and I had to talk them into coming to C their first grandchild on all sides of his family. They came for maybe 10 minutes. The next day we realized Sue Noon had the keys to the house, yet Bob and Elaine had an extra set of keys to our house. She wouldn't even come into the hospital to drop them off and C Alex, we had to meet her in some obscure parking lot.

These people abandoned me and shit on my parade every time with this bad behavior. During the first 3 weeks, the dish washer broke. Greg thot it would be fun to cook on the wood stove. He just left the dishes. I asked him if he could do some laundry and some dishes? He told me no that this is his vacation too. Elaine and Bob were coming over with their friends to C Alex. Every glass and dish was dirty. When Elaine got to our house, she didn't pick up a dish or help out in any way. On Greg's first day going back to work, I asked him if he could write a check to pay our mortgage he told me no it's my job and he walked out the door.

I wasn't allowed to turn on the heat anywhere in the house. While having a new born I had to pack and hall in wood to make Greg happy. The kitchen was separated from the living room by a large wall. I wasn't allowed to turn on the heat in the kitchen. I had to call a repairman, because Greg couldn't be bothered while he was home. Plus he didn't want to spend the money. Elaine never showed up to help nor did she offer again. This family abandoned me every time I said no thank U. They took the word assertive and called me aggressive. They do not know the difference. Because Elaine is a Sociopath. She was the adult and she could of gotten herself help when her mother abandoned her as a child. People always tell me their story the first time I'm alone. I had compassion. She did not acknowledge anything about what I had been through. She had no compassion. Only judgment and unr3ealistic demands telling me I am nothing except the problem.

When we moved back to Seattle, the agreement was to stay with them for 6 months save money and buy a house. They insisted that we couldn't get anything new. I did every thing these people asked, and they just down graded me. I realized during a conversation one day that Elaine really didn't know Greg. She was in denial of her sons past in school. I knew by looking at her body language that this is going to be a problem. I spent 2 days on the phone with counselors to try and find the right one, to help us set boundaries with her and her compulsive lying. She got defensive and said I'm not paying for it. I said I will pay for it. While in there Elaine started to speak and she literally crossed her arms and turned her back on him.
During this time Elaine moved in Christy and Steve in. No one knew Christine. She was Bi polar. Weather U believe it or not her and I got along just fine. Christine and I went shopping one day. We discussed how things just don't add up. Steve and Greg were into the get rich quick schemes. At the time Christine and I didn't know that these 2 didn't know how to do anything because they were never taught anything. Christine worked at taco hell as a manager. Our home phone rang 24 7 with that company calling her over every little thing. Christine wouldn't get up to answer the phone that was right outside her door. Elaine wouldn't let anyone say anything about it, because when it came down to work, nothing else mattered. It was me getting up at night to answer the phone. Christine had another line installed up on the 3rd floor so she could work from home.

Christine had the idea to get a photo done of the four of us for Elaine and Bob. I told Christine I will set it up but you have to show up. I'm not going to keep rescheduling this. Yet I did 3 times already. The fourth time Steve Greg and myself are all standing in Bellevue at a photography studio and Christine didn't show up again. Steve called her and she said she wasn't coming. I asked Steve to hand me the phone. I did not yell at her, I reminded her of the agreement that we made. That I have rescheduled this for her and that this is the last chance to get this done B4 Christmas. Christine shows up.

On Christmas morning the 6 of us were up. Elaine likes to do a mimosa toast on Christmas morning. We are getting ready to open gifts and Christine gets up goes down stairs and went back to bed. I went down to get her and I said to her come on Christine we are a part of this family and this is their traditions. That we need to respect that. I told her she could go back to bed after. After we opened gifts I was standing in the kitchen with Elaine. I asked her if she liked her photo? Her answer to me was I know what U did.

This family down graded me every chance they got. They valued me and Alex so much that when I was looking at nursery sets, I was told I just want to spend money. I was sent home with Greg and Steve's old crib which wasn't even up to code. I was told that was hogwash. The play pen I was sent home with had 2 big holes in the side. I stuck the grateful dead stickers on the end to get this ugly crib to blend with the nursery set and the nursery I just did. At 9 weeks I lifted the rail and the slats fell out.

After being home alone with Alex, I figured out if I went back to work my paycheck would just go toward daycare. When Greg got home I told him I'm not going back to work. He said to me what happens after 3 years of staying home and playing with my child. Somehow I was inadvertently given a timeline. I had enough income to last a year. It wasn't good enuf. I worked for free at every thing I did. I had to do every thing the cheap way. The cheap way was that I was going to do it on my own. Greg couldn't C that.

Before I had Kai, I wrote his mother a 7 page letter about how they treated me. I told them I am the only one on both sides of your family that has provided grandchildren. That I went to all their gatherings packing and hauling every thing back and forth. I told her I'm not going to do this again with Kai and that they need to decide if they want us to be a family or not? Elaine called and apologized. It didn't last long. The same thing happened with Kai. She wanted to order cloth diapers like I had with Alex. I said no thank U bcuz I have dogs and these guys literally pound on the door and wake Alex up. I even complained to the company but it did not stop. Again Elaine's nose was out of joint. They left town to Arizona and once again didn't show up. Couldn't be bothered nothing interferes with their lives or their parties. Always the same thing even on holidays. A potluck, full bar and at times games. This family could not respect my traditions that I grew up with when I was a child. We spent every pagan holiday together as a family.

Anything my mother nor I bought for our children, Elaine would judge us. They were the most unrealistic opinionated people that I have ever met. They are the biggest lie.


U literally took a woman, who worked with special ed children. U took a woman who for personal growth when I got to California I went to pre-marital counseling at my church by myself. I went to one and one counseling. I went to group counseling, I did a series of dyantetics. I had spiritual advisor named Tammy that I worked with. I did volunteer work while in California for kids that were borderline gang members. I did this not because their was anything wrong with me I just wanted to make sure I didn't have a trigger hair temper like my mother. That I didn't humiliate people in order to get the upper hand. My councilors told me to run from my mother. That if I'm sitting there I am nothing like my mother. I learned one thing from my mother and that was how not to be.

After Alex was born I got my day care license. I didn't do it because how could I with no help from Greg. Plus Greg just had to get out of town and relax pretty much every weekend. Greg was OCD about that. The agreement was B4 we moved back from Cali. was that he would slow down. he didn't. In Cali. Greg went on 3 trips without me. I wasn't allowed to go on one. I had an opportunity to go with some friends on a cruise ship for 300 dollars six months down the road and Greg said no.

I told Greg in Cali when he went to sale his car, not to look at mine. I go to work. Xavier lived across the street and would pick Greg up and drive 3 blocks to his school. Greg told me that I need to take the bus because it's not fair to Xavier to have to drive those 3 blocks. I said no. The agreement was U were gonna ride your bike or walk. He told me I was a selfish bitch.

I got most of my children's toys from garage sales from people in the richer neighborhoods. Greg tried to get me to do these MLM schemes and new cell phone MLM schemes. Gotta do my part right Greg?

My first summer with Alex I had 3 trees taken out and I cleared an area for a garden. All on my own. I continued working on the house. Some how the electric bill and installing a new heating unit was my job. I couldn't get Greg to even change out one window once a month to help with the heat bill. I'd have to stay awake at night because Greg would sneak out of bed and turn the heat off completely in the house.

Alex was a year old and I was 4 months pregnant with Kai. I was in Kelso with family on my grand mothers death bed. We had arranged in advance to have a paint party. All one color. I was to tired to deal with color. Greg made me come home. He told me I was being rude. I had to leave Alex behind. I watched an RV fly thru the air and landed 6 feet in front of my truck. When I got home Greg was laying on the couch with his fang sign he does with his fingers. He said so U almost died huh? Nothing more. The next morning it was my responsibility to get the paint, the keg and food. And all the other supplies. While I was standing on a ladder at a closet door painting, the phone rings. It was my mother letting me know my grandmother who pretty much raised me had just died. Greg yells across the room like it's nothing, "Colleen your grandmother just died." He comes up behind me 20 minutes later to tell me I need to work faster that I'm being rude to these people for going to slow. 

I had to cook 2 dinners at night because Greg wouldn't eat the American food I made for my children. I figured out Gerber right away that it was watered down. I started using a food processor and feeding my children out of the garden. Greg wanted me to cook Asian food, yet his own mother didn't cook Asian food. My children had a balanced healthy diet. It was okay for Greg's mother or our friends to feed my kids mac and chez but if I did he'd tell me I'm a bad mother for this. Yet after we separated I had a case of mac and chez in the garage. In 2 weeks time it was gone. We as a couple used to eat mac and chez every now and then in Cali, yet now it's an issue. I fed my children out of my garden. We ate rice and different kinds of pasta for dinner. I was fully aware of what my children ate and when in order to create balance in my diet.

If I did some thing one time to be nice with Greg it was expected all the time. Like leaving my room when one of my children woke up. Yet my room had the Niagara adjustable bed, the TV and bathroom. One night Alex woke up like 10 times her first ear infection. After about the 10th time I hopped out of bed and said Fuck. Greg said how dare U that's your child, but Greg wasn't the one getting up. No. I sat all night long rocking her and he never even came in to ask us how she was doing.


Greg took my car to work. I tried taking voice lessons by Greg's work just to have something of myself. Out of 4 times Greg showed up twice. I had to quit. Somehow it was always my time that got impeded on not Greg's. I got Greg to change out some outlets. Most of them didn't work. Alex was 7 months old and crawling. Greg left the screws and screwdriver on the floor. I called him at work and I explained that we have a baby crawling now and he needs to remember to pick that up. He told me it wasn't his job. It's mine.

After a 4 day camping trip I asked Greg for a divorce. We got home early in the morning and we went to bed. I got up with Alex and Greg got up at noon, Alex 9 a.m. I had unloaded the back of the truck and got it all put away. I still had to return the trailer back to Everett. Somehow this was my responsibility too. He was in the back, at 2p.m. I asked him if he could bring in and take care of the cooler. It was heavy. He told me no he's relaxing. That was my last straw. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant with Kai. That deep fatigue that I just wanted to curl up on the floor and sleep. Yet I didn't get any sleep during this pregnancy either.

Not because of Alex, she was easy. All I had to do was pick her up and take her to the spare room. Note not our king size bed, oh no Greg must not be disturbed. His highness works. Alex would just fall back to sleep. The neighbors moved in with 2 full grown rots and she let them out to back at 4:30. I was back at work as a comprehensive insurance with a school loan for 10 thousand in Tukwila. At 2 months I was up all night writhing in pain in my lower back. I almost miscarried Kai. Greg did not acknowledge. My boss had five kids a Mormon and he told me their is no reason someone as healthy as myself couldn't keep my milk in. That it's stress. I was back at work when Alex was a year old, at Red Robin I got fired unjustly so. Greg was gone on a 4 day trip and he ruptured his Achelous heal. Didn't go to the doctors nor did he come home. I just happened to of mailed in our disability insurance check by 3 days late, of course.

My grandmother and father gave us a Datsun that was painted gold and put together with bondo. Late 60's to early 70's. The starter always went out. The doors didn't lock or shut all the way and the seat belts didn't lock. It was a death trap. Greg refused to drive that car to work. By the time I was about 7 months pregnant with Kai, I had no choice but to get another vehicle. Greg had no concept nor as usual did he care. For 3 weeks I tried to get him to go with me. I tried sitting him down with comparison pricing on cars. He refused to participate. One night I called Greg at work and I told him to come down to this used car lot sale and sign for me to get a car. It was a ford exploder. which his dad cussed and swore at us about. This family had no concept.

Greg comes up behind me and said now he wants to switch off every other day, then week for him to drive the car to work. Now he expects me to pack and haul 2 car seats out of a 2 door car? I told him no not gonna happen. I was tired of all the packing and hauling just to make him happy. Greg parked up above where no one even saw his car. He told me I was a selfish bitch.

He nitpicked me about every thing. I was already and organized clean freak, yet I was also realistic that I can't do it all, especially after he dropped the ball at his own work with a fatal attraction. He lost his clientele. I had to go to Greg's work and sit with this couple and boss. I had to explain to this couple to take their problems else where. I had no choice but to live off of credit. Greg's income dropped from over 5000 a month down to 1500. He was gone all day and evening. I couldn't afford day care for 2 children. Kai was about 2 when I had to hall ass with 2 little girls in tow and open that Chiropractic business. I wasn't planning on this but we would lose every thing if I didn't.

My father was in Kennewick for 9 months. I had to commute while pregnant with Kai. Then my mother found him a location in Graham. There my father tried to live for about another 9 more months until I had to put him in a home in Puyallup near my sister. Also I had volunteered to do our 10 year reunion. I signed up for a company 13 months in advance and they didn't get the invites out until 2 months B4. Literally a couple days B4 Alpine Chiropractic was opened, my father died. Hating me. He felt I took his freedom away. The night of his funeral, while Greg and the girls were home and in bed I was in the office, staining trim. Got to do my part.  Kai was 2 and a half. Alex was 4 and a half when all this happened. Plus I was still volunteering for the indoor program and making meals. Doing every thing else by hand.

Greg called me one day when and told me that I had to do my part in helping to build the office. I did all the errand running. I found the location. I worked out the lease and worked with the city. I had to search for office furniture. I designed and picked out every thing while Greg was in Seattle. 

Just B4 Mary Stone came into my life I had refinanced the house and our broker said that I have the most beautiful credit she's ever seen. It was just this past winter that Greg caused a car wreck and blamed Adam. He collected the check which shut down my sisters claim for adjustments and doctors appointments. She had a full time day care. A single mother of 3 at this point. Greg said he would do Physical therapy on me. Right after the accident, my lower left vertebrae was jutting out of my neck and the same on my sister, only on the other side. We were turned facing each other. Greg guilted Adam into adjusting me. He always pawned me off on others. While pregnant with Kai, I couldn't get Greg to give me an adjustment I had to pay another local Chiropractor. I stayed with her until after Kai was born. Up until she switched to activator method. Myself and the 2 girls got the bird flu. Literally stuck at home for about 2 months the winter b4 Mary entered our lives.

I kept asking Greg to hire someone to do the books. I couldn't get into the office to work on the computer. I got behind on the books. Greg got me a small computer to work from home. I stay home with the girls in the summer. Right when I get it set up and ready to go Greg comes in and tells me that he is going to do it. That I need to stay home and take a break. I need to start going out to have some fun. I had just opened the yoga studio with alternative healthcare doctors. Acupuncturist. An MD that does alternative medicine and massage therapist. This is where Greg met Mary Stone and she wanted to incorporate my businesses and open them up to investors. I didn't find out any of this until later. Greg said that she's doing the books for free for 90 days.

I said Greg no one does anything for free. That I built those 2 businesses with my bare hands. That we will always be a small family run business.

Now I had a fixer upper, a business and 2 young children. Take note my 3 years weren't up. I was back at work.

What did I do B4 all this happened? I was one of the founding members of about 5 or 6 of us women whom opened the indoor playground. I dressed as the Easter Bunny for Christ sakes. I had obtained while pregnant with Kai legal guardian of my father from Eastern Washington to here. I was making our Christmas gifts for other people and always had. One woman in the group started a program for new mothers who move into the area to cook meals for them for the family for the first couple of weeks. I had built my own life with our friends. I had to take everything I learned from my past and put it into this office. Yet I wasn't allowed to pay for a sitter or daycare during this time. I did anyway's because I had no choice, but yes I paid.


While in California I worked out on average 3 hours a day at the gym. I went to gene Juarez a place I used to work to get a haircut. Once Greg took over being the only one working I wasn't allowed to go to the gym without a fight. I did it anyways for my own sanity. He hounded me and told me I could work out at home. Every six months I would need a haircut. I maintained it in my own in between. I cut our four dogs hair, my children's hair and Greg's hair but I couldn't get a hair cut. I'd get sat down and a talking to weather I was just wasting money on my own haircut?

Greg caused the rats in the house. Greg ruined my tent trailer, that he held over my head for purchasing. I truly had no choice. I can't take four days out of my week like almost every weekend, to keep renting one. I had 3 businesses and 2 children. I had the fixer upper that I was constantly working on. Greg had no concept. It was mine and only I knew how to care for it. Greg asked if he and Michael could take it up to the pass to ski? I said yes. Greg didn't lock it down and it got moldy. He bent the step because he drove with it out. He literally stood there once again after telling me I had to watch my tone with him, and then he attacked me about the heat bill. I redid that heat 4 times in that house. I got our bill down from 300 to 85 and some how it was all my responsibility.

He told me when we went to get milkshakes and fries after a soccer game, that the only way I could have a large fry is if I share it. UC I worked for free.

You in this legal system justified it. You over looked the crime committed by him and Mary Stone stealing my 3 businesses and 4 bank accounts. You overlooked the set up and made me responsible for all of it. I am done doing my part. You literally let another woman come in and steal my life in 90 days. Greg felt he owed her more than he did his wife of over ten years. His wife whom didn't drop the ball not one time. You made me responsible for everything. You even made me responsible for my own insurance. You allowed them after this crime that you overlooked to plant labels on my head for their set up. A woman who still showed up at her children's school every other week with their favorite lunch. She would even go out and play with the kids on the playground. We played four square or she'd bring the Chinese jump rope and teach them. She volunteered at her school with all these fund raisers, teaching our children in school that they have to do their part. You allowed them to plant labels on her head to hide a crime that these 2 committed. You don't have a justice system of Truth, you have a justice system based on whose gonna pay for someone else's education. You don't allow in your justice system for people to practice their civil liberties.

Broken Halos

Broken Halos/CS
Love this man's music. God is the mountain, the music, and the man. God is the author. God is the finisher. God is the redeemer and God is the punisher. IC allot of people on my rock playing God. Acting the judge, then some more answers came together watching Paul, The Apostle

It is well With My Soul/CR
Trumpet's sound when arrived home. This rock that was meant to feed all of Gods flock not just a few. Heaven on earth. Yes this is our home away from home, at the moment purgatory for others. Your little pyramid tax scheme still going on. You haven't learned anything throughout history and time. U as man and the elite and entitled double dipping in the kitty. Passing blanket laws to feed U and yours not God's flock. Look what U as man did up there? Not in my house U don't.

This Is How U Remind Me/Nickelback
This was a hard one for me. Not born into hate, more a sheep in the midst of wolves. Innocent as a dove. Clueless is more like it. When Luke said" no one has walked with God" my first thot is I have. Not knowingly. Even if the first words out of my mouth "Jesus Christ are you nuts?" He told me in November 2015, I just forget. I don't think like that. Then it hit me who else from our history walked with Jesus Christ? Her name Mary Madgelane. Their was no holy grail on the table, because it's always been about the people. His flock not yours. These two twin flames.

How Great Thou Art/Selah
It hurt me when I had to ask Kai, "why not me? U think I'm unworthy of Gods love?" Then I see the show Legion and what was she? A server. A pregnant server. I was pregnant with Kai working at Red Robin. I was working at Coco's when I quit my job as a manager of  a salon when I met Greg. Then when I walked out the door at TA, I heard U R done serving the food. Jesus was the Messiah and the temple of God isn't the only place God can be worshiped. This is our rock this is my church. I'm Judas mother fucking priest, not you as man sitting up there wearing the wrong white collar. My mountain, my church.

Come Thou Fount/JL
Christ asked us 2 care 4 the world not rule it. I can C why man doesn't own the keys to heaven. 2018 and we still look down on women. U can't let go of the guideline and rules that "you are not the virtuous one's siting up there to ever judge love. U R not the all seeing eye, that own that God particle that Ion, that atom is Gods. God giveth God taketh. Pretty old fashioned and simple wouldn't U say? Let it go and give up your burdens to God, whomever that may be, because God created those Gods that U pray to. This Big Bang Theory is what? Science. Hey how about the heavens that surrounds this rock? That sure is science. No science and religion don't refute God. God refutes science and religion. U couldn't let go of the control in your religion when JC stood in front of that woman anyone here like to cast the first stone, who is without sin?

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams/Green Day
UC Gregory I told U those fault lines R about to shift. I promise I want the Gregorian to fall out of the sky. What's in a name? Volumes. My first broom a dirt devil and Yahweh I'm the sweeper of the stars. If we live live for the lord. We die we die for the lord. Weather we live or die we belong to the Lord. Only the meek not the elite shall inherit my rock. I'm Ares, I'm ram, I'm Gods little lamb. Back one last time to get this mother fucking machine off of my rock. Time for those Malakites to go.

Here Is Gone/TGGD
It began in Jerusalem. Moses and Mt Sinai. Look where I stood with my right hand in the air? Mt. Si, the mountain with the broken heart. Mary Cochran Stone, U steel my life I steel yours. I still need a little Holy Mackerel bleeder fish for bait for that serpent entity sitting in the ground. Like a dark vortex of energy. Well I'm thinking Mary your it. It has now come to roam. To live in Christ, to die is to gain. We begin anew. A new birth. A new life. Heaven on earth, a new church for all of Gods flock. No more walls.

She Will Be Loved/Maroon Five
I am ready for my four horsemen, but my left arm and leg are shutting down again. I know what I want to say, but I started to show signs of a stroke in my face and things started to go gray. Back to the ER, back to the last guy that did my neck surgery. The very same guy that I kept trying to ask questions and get some help for these weird symptoms that just won't go away.

Marry Me/TR
Stay/Sugarland

Mama'a Broken Heart

Mama's Broken Heart/ML
Beatrice Bishop
The Lily to the Rose
Bed of thorns
Bed Of Roses
Fig Newton
Fig Tree
The Depression of the Fig
Holy Mary
Mother Mary
Rose Mary
The First Cut Is The Deepest/SC
The Lily To The Rose
Foye Lily
Foye Doris
Belinda LaRae
Darci LaRae
Kimberly Foye
Danielle Foye
Jeremy James
Zina Marie
Todd LaGene
Kimmie LaRae
Courtney LaRae
Jordan LaRae
Jillian LaRae
Colleen LaNae 040168 The Colt, The Joker, The Fool
The First Seed
Is the Rose
Alexandra LaNae 011395
Kiley Rae 021797
Elijah Todd 
Jimmy Jane

Come Thou Fount

It Don't Hurt/
Yes it does. It cuts deep like a knife inside my heart. Oh God! I have been put through the ringer of Truth. I love my four horsemen. I didn't so much at first.

She Got The Best Of Me/LC
Well quite frankly I didn't know. I have realized in the last couple days. I am a monkey. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my monkies. Little curious Georges in life, our children. It's the ego in humanity that has destroyed my rock, our heart. Where the fuck did our heart go? I stood in the parking lot and screamed, no! No! No! U can't do this. God didn't do this man and ego did.

I Drive Your Truck/LB
By the way I hate your truck so much I don't want to be touched. Yes I have the bigger answers to the universe. I want to run up your big man viking body and I want to slap you back and forth with my little monkey hand. I can't believe I'm actually the little monkey being made to move mountains. I mean really I can't move one man how do they expect me as human to move a mountain?

If I told U/DR
Do U know what that little girl told me that showed up at my door? I mean I knew I figured out the grays. I'm a Grey part of evolution. I'm excepting that a little more. Still not sure what to do with that knowledge. It still wigs me out. I can't deny my family tree line. Off track again. Her crazy mother said his name or that space ships name that runs this rocks name is Eagle.

Marry Me/TR
I hate U. Marry U Try this one on for size, I hate U for this. I hate U for every moment of this. Talk about a tortured soul that hey U as man and big brother just want to destroy me and mine. OMGOD! I want that serpent gone that sits at the base of Mt. Si. It does exist. Naive me standing out there, Uhm! So what is that down there? The answer the fallen angel. R U fucking nuts? This does not exist. I heard of a synagogue got blown up. Men women and children

Head Over Boots/JP
got blown up for what? Faith. Something they committed their whole lives to having. I truly don't care the faith. I don't. U got it hold on to it. Keep it. As much as God is energy the creator, weeeellll, those grays no one understands? We are them. Those four horsemen, I love and adore but yeah I as human fear them too.

Superman/5 4 fighting

The Rose/BM
I hate U. I hate U for this. Whats the point? My own government that has claimed to represent and fight for freedom, destroyed that. U literally industrialized and sold out Truth. U created your own self worth. I might be small but you sitting up there set your price to high. I'm so sorry I married the Serpent, but don't U touch my babies because they have heart.

U Raise Me Up/RW
No U don't U piss me off. Talk about rejection. Rejection of the heart. Rejection of the Truth. I sit alone and scream. I scream because no one wants to hear me. They want Truth but like Jack said U can't handle the Truth. Not U as man but guess what, I am woman. U will not destroy me. I am woman. I am your mother regardless of everything I have been put through, I as woman, stand. Get the fuck off my rock you entitled elites white mother fucking bitches.  Get the fuck off.

Come Thou Fount/JL
God rules this rock not U as man. Ever will it be. Keep your God love your God. We love we don't destroy.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I'm not sure anymore how I feel about all this? Rejected and betrayed by own family tree line? Yeah rejection of the human heart is huge and it can only be rejected so much. Total Eclipse Of The Heart is right. Looking at these politicians and the direction they're going? More taxes and making a living off of insurance? RU fucking nuts? I have so many stories to tell. I loved figuring out the greys but it doesn't mean I want to see another one standing in my room. It weirds me out too, however they are on our side. I don't have the answers our government and humanity wants. What I have is what I know up to this point. That's how they protect and no drug ain't going to bring out that Truth if God and my family tree line don't want U to have it. Look what we have done with what little we do know? U as man play God? I am so sick of hearing some of your advertisments speaking against a womann's rights and God. Not your place not your space. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Man is unworthy bcuz I have seen throughout history and time how man has lied to keep control of the wrong power. It will never be mans place to play God.

Can't fight This Feeling/REO
My left arm and neck weren't working so great or my feet. It don't matter yet it's all matter. U as human carry that God particle. What do U want to do with it? Play God or give it back to Him in Faith and family. Which is what he stands for. It's pretty simple up there, it's purgatory here. I still have hell to empty and send home so we can have our whole heart as one. One unit to protect this rock meant to feed all of God's flock not just the few that industrialized us to feed themselves.

We Will Rock You/Queen
Mine and Kai's favorite CD. Oh God, don't U bother to label me with anger issues. I'm angry at what U as man has done to my rock and God's flock. Take your taxes, your insurance and justified system and get the flock off my rock. Let's just keep feeding the machine that truly has no heart. God and all those God's that came before U do exist, you as man no longer get to disrespect or deny because your such arrogant shits U think your God.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot/PB
I really have no issue with the video that they want me to make. My body keeps failing me. I don't understand with elections coming up what they want me to do. It is literally repeat history. All IC is repeat history that the elite and entitled think they are worthy to do this to Gods flock. Hey if I don't have it neither do U. U may not live in a mansion, but U know what U will be at peace and happy. Truly I don't want a mansion, God no I gotta clean that shit up.

Take It Easy/Eagles
I'm still so angry that it's me. Even after I have been told through different stages about who I am, I don't walk around going I'm your Messsssiiiiiahhhh. I'm mother natures daughter and I will get vengeance.I don't think like that. I walk away. No my Truth after being accosted in more ways than one in this land of freedom protecting your property lines with all your red lining and blue lining to feed your tax system? I do not think so. It's a machine, not man.  It's an entity but the rich and elite will want to take down the mother by taking down the children. Hey how about the father's children? What does he care. Like others U want peace yet U can't stand for peace of humanity and let those four Horsemen that are hear for mankind?

Rhiannon/FM

Angels Fall 2

Angels Fall/Breaking Benjamins
She Will Be Loved/Maroon 5
I recon I'm having a issue still with Trust. I recon the dual side of JC the Divine and the human side. I don't care what they show me about this man in my true human heart I can't do this. I can do the divine and this video of Truth they want me to make but it's been to long and to much for me to ever trust another man again. It's like they pull me into the heart. I want to heal it and move on. Not be stuck again. Every time I go to do this video something takes me down. Last night Charlie Horses in my feet I had to keep getting up every 15 to 20 minutes, and try and stretch it. I can sleep 3 hours and go. I can sleep five to 6 hours and go but to fall asleep ten minutes at time. It's a black cloud day. I don't like these days. I know it's more about the Truth of my emotions to get me to the next step.

Secret's/1 Republic
Thinking about Mary's mother and when she stepped away and quit trying gave it up to God then bam she gets pregnant. The Truth is I was done. Done with all of it in my heart. I wanted none of it again. To begin anew with someone else. I have no intention to do this again. A part of me wants to be left alone about it and the other part can't let go. Not that they will let me but I have told him the Truth all the way. I still want to turn and walk away. To me it's another man with a dick that leads and not the heart. I can't do that. I'm to old. I'm to done.

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams/Green Day
It's on Thumbprint radio so I have no idea whats gonna play today. Talk about walking alone. Even in my dreams in my travels, I met up with people. I traveled alone. I'm tired of chords and glasses. I'm tired of this box and for 2 years keeping my body in shape pretty much doing the same thing everyday just to keep moving, then again most days I can't do long walks. I can't get very far. To go from a 10 mile to 15 mile hike a day to this is making it hard. No I'm not depressed. It's called burned out, stressed out doing this video. It's about these elections and when they want me to step out into the light and speak Truth. I have so much to tell in such a short time. I realized that even though I say pick a door it really is about the human behavior and how we treat and judge others. Flock no you don't own the keys to heavens gates. If any of U haven't figured out heaven would be pretty empty by now looking at all this history and bad behavior.

Collide/HD
I actually got myself to sit still and watch The Post. Look once again the war that was unnecessary and all those lives for image of man and a machine? Then I hear another tax break for the rich? Still the same pattern. I have to tell my own government in this land of freedom why we are here today? Me? RU fucking nuts? To go back to Egypt, our creator JC? Then I discover the names in the beginning like Bridgette the Druid is in this oracle box. The reason I kept getting shown Atlantis is because I'm Nada. Mary's Equal a queen whom came B4. It's just allot. Finally got to ask the guys from 7 11 about the Seiks and their beliefs? One with God just like Buddha. The Seiks also wear turbans not just the Muslims. Every religion has different sects. Our God our creator is about Love. Period. Then on the other hand the Crone? The Fiery One? The Seraphin and they actually want me to chew ass? Yet I got that divine side? People are going to go yeah U with that foul mouth are Godly?

Angels Fall/Breaking Benjamins
I miss my babies but they don't want input from anyone. Just them and me. The whole reason for this box and two more years of finding out how low and high my family tree line really goes? My mind keeps going back to being a Kennedy? John and Caroline went down in a plane. JC and Kyle I said to Kyle we go down in a plane in 4 years? I'm really not as afraid of flying like U think I just prefer my feet on the ground to feel balance. I discovered their is actually a mental illness for seeing shapes in the cloud? Perfect point, I'm a Native, I have that right. U literally industrialized anyone to feed a machine and not see the light.

World So Cold/3 Days Grace
Yup! I can clearly see why my family is back. Our own people up there fed themselves, poisoned the seed to industrialize mankind to place that scarlet letter A or I on someone to put U one the chain gang. Always a liar or minimizer a blamer, I have no rights to speak? Then I saw on Oak Island the flash of the Sanskrit in his hand. Wondering why I kept getting taken back to Oak Island? Then IC it the Arc Of The Covenant and The Knights Of The Templar. I didn't even know what it was it just flashed in my head in the beginning and I had a name. I keep going back to Greg this depression, what I said in the beginning before I knew why my Cherokee Grandmother of 12, the mother to those 7 Bishops showed up in my room? Then the 2 Grey's. Hell I never knew what these things were called until recently.

Be Like That/3Doors Down
Then it finally sinks in the Grey in the key hole? What I do with my hands when I clear land. It is that pose. Yes I figured out evolution the monkeys and who really evolutionized us? The Grey's. I admit the last time I saw them, I wasn't afraid. I was mad. Then the second threw the blanket over my head. Our blanket laws in more ways than one. We are a diversified society. With lots of color and culture. It has been greyed and squashed right along with my flag. My God. Funny Jesus Christ is the only name U can't say anywhere in a work place or school. Here he is. Right along with Mary Magdalene and that is the reason why this system doesn't want God your creator to come back. Why they can't say Merry Christmas, because they don't want those two names together.

She Talks To Angels/The Black Crows.
The Truth is we are family. It's all relative. We are relative. We count. What right did U have to come into my land of freedom and wipe it out? For man and a machine? That turned all these Gods whom came B4 into myth? U have no right. Those four Horsemen belong to me. Set and Thoth whom is Seth the 3rd part in Cane and Abel is me, I recon.

Do I/LB
U know going through all these black shadows in my life? When they came back around from my childhood, my vision with Kiley, the one I threw all my anger into then I said that's it, U hid me under all this pain to hide me from Truth. Then I find out the grays that showed up in my room after my brothers death? I rationalized as the horror show I watched, called The Sentinel. We have a show The Gifted and what do they call the institution that they are trying to break the higher beings out of is called the Sentinel. It's about that Bicentennial in my family tree line. It took me awhile to figure out how we fucked that up? Everyone double dipping in the kitty passing blanket laws to condone it. Finally figured out elite and entitled.

Whiskey Lullaby/AK,BP
Yeah its true even after all this I don't feel love. I don't trust love or whom they made me tell all this bullshit weird stuff to as I'm trying to figure it all out. Biblically. Nativeley, the nativity scene?  Fucking spell check? Its a joke. I just want this video done and I feel cock blocked is what I feel.

Your Man/JT
Fuck you! I can't do it. I've been lied 2 my whole life expecting to think about a 2nd or even a 3rd party that I've been lied about. 2 include them? When I can't include number 2? Go away. You haven't heard a word I've said. All your doing is bottom feeding Kyle. What they want me to do? I can't do it. I don't want to be touched by two men. Especially Michael. I do all I can do today to get through this. I'm not attracted to him. He's let me down to many times. I do not understand why men think it is okay to treat someone so horribly for so long and just because you get it now or want me now after all these years of lying to me, I'm just supposed to forgive and be stuck. Then I've got Kyle whom I want nothing to do with. Yet I've had no choice but to tell him the truth of what I know for his families safety. Still he's bottom feeding for his dick. My whole life I put others first. My whole life I've been shit on. I don't want this. They lied to me from the start. I've always got some third party I have to think about. It's always someone else's feelings. They lied to me up there. I always have to give something of myself even when I have nothing to give. Now I find out I'm the queen of it all? No one can understand, I don't have the weight of a nation on my shoulders, I have this universe, this planet, heavens gates and I'm the big plan?

The Chains That Bind

She Talks 2 Angels/The Black Crows
I love it the Black Crows.
These chains that bind? I admit I can't go back. I can't be told to sit in someone else's shit. I can't be told I have no rights. I can't speak because I haven't earned my keep. My self worth and that value of the human heart, the dollar versus what I bring to the table? For someone else's money or disrespect I haven't earned my self worth to live and love freely? Someone else making the decisions about what I carry in my heart? Got to live within some else's program and diameter. Another program or system I have to report to. Telling me I must live this way or I don't count, unless I bring in that green? Spin the hay into gold. Make it work. My daughter pricked at 15 for that prick just like her mother who came before?  Told I can't speak, this blanket blame game and whose gonna pay? Not I.
It's Not My Time/3 Doors Down
I can't do it . Another marriage of drudgery with these chains that bind me? I don't give a fuck who or what you are. I don't give a fuck who they are. The divine and the human heart don't match up inside of me. I can't after all this let this one issue go. No matter how thoroughly scrooged I've been in this life. All for a test of what kills me to say, the unworthy. So much bad behavior.
She Don't Know She's Beautiful/SK
Marriage, the illusion of love and the chains that bind? I can't do it again no matter what they say.
Marry You/BM
I don't give a fuck if you are the wolf in my closet with little red girls climbing all over you. Truly you were not phased. I can't do this again. I don't have it inside of me.
My Memory Ain't What it Used To Be/JA
Oh my God not after this clearing it ain't. Finding out who I really am? BTW proud to say who and not whom because of the Greek'. Proud Mary, I'm the angel I'm the owl of wisdom not you. Not you.  Take your proper grammar, shove it up your ass.
Cowboy Take Me Away/DC

Truly Madly Deeply

Truly Madly Deeply/Savage Garden
How ya' doing sweet pea? Glad 2C your doing better. More lively at least. I recon you were all along. Don't worry I understand fear. I'm used 2 cuming last in others lives. That's the curse and the many I wear thu-out history and time for all those Gods. I can't wait 2 say I am no longer Mary Mag a shit magnet 4 your bad behavior. I'm Mary Magdalene your queen. The Lion. The mother, your judge. What does a mother look at? Behavior of the heart and how we treat others. I can't wait 2 say I am done with with U Christian white bitches and good intentions telling someone else they  R lesser children of God because U feel religion is God. Man and myth. I lit my sage today and it dawned on me this will be my torch for justice. The cleansing of the soul. They can take or leave it.

Human/ CP
I picked up a document on JC and the duel personalities. The human side and divine side. Of course the name St. Catherine my grandmother on my fathers side. You can't run a nation, country or planet without a heart. Look what happened to mankind that couldn't stop feeding that machine following the wrong profit, that bank machine. I truly know why not the elite and only the meek shall inherit the earth. They may pick a door. Snap, crackle, pop get the flock off my rock. Ashes 2 ashes dust to dust I don't give a fuck. Humanity knows the difference between right and wrong. Espe3cially up there. Turning humanity into droids to feed a machine. I think their point is I have nothing more than high school, beauty school, a nurses aid degree, insurance, management, herbology classes and technological classes. U don't need a degree to provide in life. Big Brother and the machine of education to get a pedigree for everything today did that. Round and round I go.

One Last Breath/Creed
Last night I closed my eyes on the couch while Michail watched T.V. I truly don't care 2C another one after this, except children and grand kids. The sound came back to Ancient Aliens, Declassified. I couldn't find the remote but it was the words of what I heard? The Dogan star is a sister or brother star to Sirius. They call it Sirius B. It's a big white door 8 times the size of this rock or the sun. I can't read my notes. When I did this I'd go sit at the end of Tanner Road on a big rock in the river. The rock in front, a big bull with a nose ring. A demon dog and a serpent. Across the way a pirates ship. It was shipwrecked on the shore. To the right a door. When you walked on Tanner Road you could see just like it was around the pirates crash site. Black under the tree's but green on top. Along the lines to the man with the beard and that ship wreck on Tanner Road the same thing.

Broken/Seether
I ain't broken, just the heart for all they put me through. Making an example of bad behavior in my life. Particularly this justified system that they used to industrialize mankind. Hell they couldn't follow the universal 9 to run this rock. To much greed for a green that doesn't really exist when it comes down to quality in life. I recon I'm still Jaded and sore. Yes, Luna the moon is hollow and they're watchers 2.