Touched By Poison

"We all have two sides. The world we live in is a world of opposites. The trick is to realize those opposing things. In order to appreciate one you have to have the other. The more darkness you gather up, the more light you can see." Quote by David Lynch
 
Against All Odds/PC
Here I go again. Isn't that the same song that played the last time I blogged? Oh a part of me was happy about more discoveries I have made? Sitting at Dave's last night we watched the documentary on the native woman with the 7 stars above her head. Every time I watch one of these I learn something new. Last night and this morning in my head I'm repeating yes! Yes! Yes! She's got another name "Freedom." Let Freedom ring baby. I am so done with this.

Old Time A Rockin' Roll/BS
It went over the Masonry? It didn't really hit on what their original intent was? George Washington and Ben Franklin. I laughed inside. It was Ben Franklin standing there in a thunderstorm with his kite and key. That was when I said "ya' know Alex that isn't just God that created that thunderbolt? No that's Mother Nature's handy work."

Desperation/Oblivion
Then I discover Leo D. used Mother Nature and her beasties for his inventions? For his paintings? For his codes and dimensions? It was also Leo that was accused of Sodomy by a prostitute and they locked him up before being proven guilty. Then they weren't going to let him speak about this label they planted on his head. He said "no, you took away my liberties with this label. You took away my good name and all I have worked for with this. All because someone didn't get their way?"

I Only Want to Be With You/Hootie
It is exactly what is happening today with this filing a restraining order on someone. They never let me speak "that it was a cover up to a crime that he and Mary Stone committed. That it was a set up. That it wasn't the first time they tried to get me to cause a scene in public. Even then he verbally attacked me then turned and opened the door to a crowded waiting area. I didn't yell. I said quietly 7 words after what he just pulled at that moment."

Ends/Everlast
Those 7 words "don't you turn your back on me." I get a restraining order that I can't go back into my three businesses that they just signed out of my name. Along with my four bank accounts. I used my fathers money for that second business. I just finished the labor. Had it open not even a month before Mary Stone pulled this. No one knew my whole marriage I had to fight for everything. Anything I stuck in my mouth. Food for my children. Heat because he'd get up in the middle of the night in the winter time and turn it off completely. Any basic necessity I had before, I now had to fight for. All that volunteer work I did over the years? Gone.

Heaven/Kane Brown
Yes, this mother has been in a good mood. Knowing full well why Justice is a mother? The mother that the first time I turn to Big Brother for help, I don't get to defend or speak because of your blanket laws sitting in our justice department? I was made guilty and never allowed to speak. This is the thing about white collar crimes today? It's not a police matter, it's a civil court case matter that I need a lawyer to speak for me. All those years I had proof.

Night Moves/BS
It was silence for me after that. What happens when you don't feed someone love? They die. All those years? I had my family before Greg came along. I still hung out and had relationships with my high school friends all those years. I had the relationships of the women in the valley whom were my friends until we started hanging out as couples. I realized that slowly over time Greg was taking credit for things that wasn't due. Any compliment someone paid me on any thing Greg would stand there and say Oh it was nothing. He didn't do it. He didn't do any of it. He turned me into this invisible woman that just hung out in the background. Yes, Justice and Freedom do go hand in hand in hand.

Another Love Song/UK
I've been thinking about that black box and being buried six feet under? The vision I got slammed into after I made this agreement. I am standing in front of a black shadow. I started throwing all my anger and rage into it until I fell face down on the ground. Then I got up on my hands and knees, I looked to my right and I said"that's it? You buried me under all this pain. You hid me from the Truth" Talk about being pulled out of that black box? The first time I saw that black shadow was when I went to a meditation channeling class toward the end of my pregnancy with Kiley. I was sitting in a circle of trees. Like someone took a round lawn more and just cleared a circle out of the center of the forest. I stood up and walked into this black shadow. I shrugged my shoulders and went "hhmmmph! Walked around it.

One Of These Nights/Eagles
When I came out I asked Dr. Peable's who was a spirit putting on the class using a vessel. This vessel and guide go hand in hand people. His answer was "I'm not ready for that answer yet." I accepted that. I mean what am I going to do? I had allot on my plate. I had Alex. I was pregnant living in a fixer upper driving a late 1960's Datsun put together with bondo. The seat belts didn't lock and the passenger door didn't shut unless it was locked. Well Greg was a doctor and he needed my car that I paid for. I had my father to care for not sure if he was in Graham yet.

When It Rains It Pours/LC
I really was not being supported or fed all those years. I went as long as I could for my children. I remember getting up one day and saying "I came here to be a mother. I can't be a mother if I'm spiritually dead." If that wasn't the Truth. I knew it wasn't me. I knew it was Greg and that black cloud. My whole body felt like lead with every movement. I knew I was tired. I knew I didn't have the energy inside my body to do this anymore. he depleted me in all walks of life. He made sure I paid everyday. If I stopped moving, here he'd come.

The Summer Is Done With Us/Palms
Nitpick me about more I could be doing and how I could do it better, cheaper to accommodate him. Telling me I'm stupid and uneducated. He couldn't do anything then. He just had a new woman now, Mary Stone, whom gave him a good excuse for the bad behavior all those years. They used the Justice system to castrate me. That is why I'm Justice that other Big J.

All Summer Long/KR
I got a man, and I got a heart I'd love to get back to. I learned a few more things on those documentaries. I didn't tell Kyle the first time I saw that purple triangle? It was the same weekend. A different vision. I was walking up to the ocean and sitting on a boulder is Greg with Alex. I was angry he was there. I didn't want him there. I did not like this man not even then. He was not a good man. I was stuck. This is my time. This is my vision, the last thing I wanted to see was Greg. They look at me and I look at them. Then over to the right a giant purple triangle appeared and it exploded with the ocean and blue sky in the back ground. Then appeared a giant square. I slammed out of it. I asked what does this mean? The answer, I am going to a family of three to four. I looked at Dr. Peables. That's it? I came here to be told once again something that is obvious? Is there a book on symbols and colors?

America/Sister Golden Hair
The purple triangle means royalty. The trinity of royalty from the heavens and the stars. I found out last night that the square represents equality and rectitude. Yes. A good find. Of course what is white people? So much more to tell. I need to tell it before Hope falls. Back to that Namesake and all it entails?

Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
This was my song that I dedicated to my childhood friend inside my heart the first time I heard it. It turns out not to be true. Another let down. Another broken heart. Someone else's issues and bad behavior. As usual on my big day. Looking back every time I have a celebration, or some kind of happiness? Someone comes along and destroys it. Every time. None of this really started until Greg. After him, I no longer had anymore rights.

Turning Tables/Adele
I heard in the beginning the fault lines are about to shift. Then I discovered the cause and effect of that Truth? The Rose? The Kennedy curse, sins of thy father? Who pays not just Rose but my aunt Judy. Meningitis. All those years my grandmother never knew the whats and why's about her daughter? I in my early twenty's having a conversation with my grand mother somehow knew the answer. Yes definitely that Kennedy curse got pulled in real close. In 2015 I learned the other Truth about Meningitis? That is causes a migraine. My family curse on both sides. For both my sister and I. My twin soul sister. Boy did her and I get a double whammy on this one. My father and my great Cherokee grandmother.

We were at Saving Private Ryan. It was the first scene? They walked up on shore coming in from the boats, they were ambushed. All that bloody water....For what? The whole time I'm thinking Oh my God they are right out in the open? Duh!!!! I got up and walked out. Hit instantly with a migraine. Now I know the curse of the Truth. Slavery and slavery to the war. What it really created? Wiping out the indigent ones in all walks of life to get to the land. Put them on the reservation. I discover how much land right at the beginning that was really owned by the natives before these take overs and war. Put those crazy natives on the reservation. Make them our slaves after we steal from them. Then I discover this is just the same pattern to all the other indigent ones in every nation. While every other race color and creed that were stolen from in one form or another, or made martyrs told to repent or die. Nikolia TTTT from Russia and Anastasia? It seems Walt was right? Their really is a lost Anastasia. I on my tippy toes, doing ballet poses and curtsies. Then I watch a horse curtsy and bow? I discover the pose, the horse, the curtsy the bow?

Over here I got Nikolai Tesla? His energy what was stolen? The power of the 3,6, and 9's? One of my first questions in the beginning about Kyle why does a man who is healthy and has every thing he could ever want have such heavy shoulders? I heard energy. Isaac Newton, that apple? Just one of my big eye's and that apple written about in all walks of life? Home is where your heart is? I'm not home yet. I recon I still have a ways to go.

I'll go down some footnotes I made last night.
The Statue Of Liberty is a pagan goddess. From France 1876 Americas 100th birthday. Given by Bartoley and Lovelay. Spelling I know. They were part of French Society. Free Masons. They represented freedom. Freedom of speech and freedom from the purgatories and labels of religion. Against ignorance. That other big I. That I wrote about earlier? Ignorance is no longer a good excuse for bad behavior. You all know the difference between right and wrong. You all know when you served up your own justice judging others and using ignorance as an excuse. You all had parents. Mentally ill or not. You all know manners. You by now should know what morals, principals and values are by now. I do not want to hear ignorance for your bad behavior serving up your own justice. You all knew that other JD was upon you.

Blanket labels, blanket justice, blanket laws, blanket cures, blanket fines and fee's IC? All to make a living off from humanity using my families resources? Serving the wrong profit, feeding the wrong stock equals an eye for an eye. Fortunately for this mother I not only have one big eye, I got eyes in the back of my head and it turns out lots of little eyes. All to feed a machine? The enemy sits at our table and serves us? Really people? The only ones creating the slavery, the negative labels and all this confusion on sexuality and the color on our skin is big brother and well King Tut's curse. We don't see color in heaven. When I served people in all walks of life, I might of noticed the different colors in all walks of life not knowing who anyone else was before they sat down in front of me. I know one thing I accepted the Truth of who they were when they sat down in front of me. I accepted their words and behavior as Truth. It's not my job. My job is to serve them the best of my ability in that moment.

The only thing I cared about was that person sitting in front of me at that moment in that time. Not what came before. I learned a long time ago, that nothing tells me the Truth more than that first moment. That first conversation, because it doesn't get any better than that. If you want something different or better than that? Then you need to walk away. It's not your place to get into a relationship with someone weather friendship, or significant other and tell them to change themselves for you to accommodate you. I realized when I looked at past photos of people? I did not like what I would see then. What I liked and what attracted me is what I see today. I shouldn't be ashamed of that. You shouldn't be either. You need to look yourself in the mirror before you decide to tear down and destroy another human being for your own personal issues. If you can't pick yourself up, don't pick up someone else, until you have walked through it. In order to have compassion not judgment.

You don't learn life in a book. That is one part of life but higher education is off balance and has to high of a cost. We allowed Big Brother and that ridiculous Murphy's test that you have to take now for the most basic job is absurd. You made it harder on the little people. It is an old test from the forties that Big Brother and Corporate America use to nitpick the flying flock out of the servers of this country. Corporate America is the reason for all the easy access to a human beings personal information. Hey come pay to invade someone else's privacy and use it against them. Just because it says you can't in small print, does not mean this service should be open to the human race. The release of the cell numbers? Big brother. All this education and insurance industry, Big Brother and Corporate America using the human race and world economy to feed a machine, not humanity?

We allowed the enemy to sit at our own table and serve us in all walks of life. Big Brother literally handed it over. At what cost and who pays? The little people. They lock public restroom doors using the addicted and homeless as an excuse, yet what about the the rest of the human race who are victims serving this machine? Whose body part's and septic system is cursed or sick? Cancer, the septic system, chrones disease, that gall bladder. Liver disease. I don't know when I was growing up all I ever heard was benefits. Benefits. Benefits. Truth is I see no benefit or service in any of what I have lived through, especially in the last twenty years. I see history hasn't changed? We are still serving the Pharaohs from the beginning. They just got the human race to adapt.


Bartoley and Lovelay, the masonry used codes and keys. The name on the purple scarf under the bowl is Alexandria. They also did not like Napoleon. Who and what is up with Napoleon? Lady liberty's torch symbolizes? Enlightenment. Light of Knowledge and Wisdom. Sound familiar? Framework Gustav Eiffel. She has 7 rays. Yes. Devils Island. I laughed and I looked at Dave another connection here in this Washington? Devils Elbow. Kevin and I would cruise Devils Elbow. Sits in district of Columbia and guess what? The catholic church didn't like this. Afraid we would worship her and what she stands for. Life, Liberty, and Justice for all of humanity. She is a mother this time, whom has never been allowed to speak. I'm taking it back. My life, my liberty, my torch for this rock that family upstairs and this man downstairs. The one I never saw the house, just the man. Now I know why that is? What I learned about the woman who stands on that State Capital?

The woman standing on the State Capital with the blanket on her left shoulder has a name Freedom. Why does she have a blanket on her left shoulder? You fucked it up in this hell care system. Before apple came along as another affiliate it was Molina. Then after being raped and getting more labels, my insurance got down graded even more. The way they treat a rape victim in the hospital just with that HIPPA? To tell a victim who was just beaten and raped. I asked for nothing and I wanted nothing when I walked up to the property manager. All I was going to say was I was raped. He is on camera. He walked out the door behind me as I was walking off the lot. Instead the maintenance man grabbed me by the arm before I could speak, and told me I was 86'd off the lot. The only reason I got in that truck wasn't because I had permission to go through any open door. Truth is when a woman is invited through an open door, she has the right to say no. She has the right to not be raped after she crosses any door.

The only reason I got in that truck was because while sitting on a red rock, someone calls the police. I have to show ID and have a conversation. Even though when the police came, they saw a woman just sitting on a red rock. I never approached anyone or asked for anything. I spent my money and used my EBT card to buy food. This was the only place available that took EBT cards. I had the police called because of Mary Stone twice taking pictures of me praying alone with my hand in the air. She told the police I was lying in the middle of an intersection. That is what the policeman said to me. That is when I said back to the police. That is my point? He didn't ask me. He just allowed someone once again to call, and say anything. Here they come. Sitting alone under a tree writing with my head phones on. Here comes the Sheriff. He walks in and asks the manager if I am allowed to sit on this corporate land that is open to the public? He said yes. Still he comes to ask me questions. I wouldn't give him my name. This is what I put up with after being raped and the second year. After I put my one year in from being gone and being 86'd off this lot? I come back and three different employee's caused three different scenes standing in public. If I wanted to eat or be served I had no rights. I had to stand there be humiliated and take it. Once again I did not cause a scene. These people were justified to not serve me food when my green was just as good as anyone else's. One a coworker and friend who has never seen any bad behavior but has sure made other employees miserable with hers.
Iron Man/BS
Standing in line at the grocery store the new property manager who did nothing when his maintenance man grabbed me by the arm and would not let me speak, started yelling at me in the store about how a man who raped me drove away after, poisoned himself and shot himself in the head. Not my problem he didn't like my Truth. My goal when I posted that video after the rape was about the words that took place between me and him? The reason why he raped women? The misunderstanding between his mother and him over his fathers love? Well as far as hair like women and teeth like lions that's what happens when someone in my family bites you. I bit him behind his heart and it burned. I told him I saw nothing. I told him it is not me he is angry at but his two mothers. The rejection of the two was a misunderstanding feeling rejected over the color of his skin. For love and a misunderstanding. I told him he needed to go home. When I spoke to Kyle on the phone that was the first time it hit me. That I told him to go home to his mother and children here on this rock. Not in heaven.

The Rage/JP
The policeman after the interview said to me it was the most perceptive interview that had ever been given after a woman is raped. Then they open the door and curtain. Place a man at the foot of the bed and tell me I can't leave. If I leave I will be committed. You have no right to place a victim or someone needing healthcare into one of your institutions to label me and shame me some more. Never let me speak. This is not freedom. I was walking one day, I put my fist in the air and I yelled. He washed me off. No spilled seed. A person who doesn't bother anyone, cannot go on a vision quest of spiritual journey without all this ruckus? Without all these labels, and assumptions? Making choices for me that once again big brother they were never for you to make for me, this mother in the first place. When I heard the measurements of Freedom? Those two sets of three sixes. I laughed because that's not me. You see that is my X that this Justice System handed over my rights to. Yes you can't help someone until you have been there yourself. I will have compassion after Justice is served. I know one thing you are not keeping me from that man or my heart anymore. Some of us that carry those spirit animals inside our bodies, are the good beasties with heart.

Electric Eye/JP
The Bride? This bride shit really pisses me off. First I see a woman standing in that gold field surrounded by snow. First I see out of her eyes then I see down on her. She is wearing a white medieval gown with dark hair down to her waste. I already had those three black energies? The three black brothers are looking for a bride? My daughter was on that lot. It had something to do with love. I knew from a clearing I had done by a native woman that I had a red head above my head that sat quietly with her head down. She wore a veil and a wedding dress. I was told that I have a Irish Princess as a guide a long time ago. Then the church of angels and that bride shit comes up again. Then in the first couple months of being here I get slammed into two visions where I'm wearing white lingerie. I am surrounded by curtains and candles. I'm having an intimate moment with a man. By then I knew who this man was. I mean read Daddy Issues. In both scenes I realize where I am at and what is happening to me? The second one "Oh Big Daddy." Still both scenes I ran out screaming and tearing at my clothes.

Round And Round/Ratt
Then the Serpent? Then I see Kyle's marking? I loved it. Now I know. Yet my issue is that namesake still? I said to God, it's not you. It's not Kyle it's your namesake I have an issue with? Then Solomon's ring and only we have the power to lift the Gin? What happens when those fault lines shift God? Every time I talk to him, it gets beautiful. Then sad and heartbreaking. Hope soars then after a little while as I get closer to the Truth Hope falls God. How do I tell him this without sounding like I'm the big bad wolf standing at his door. I didn't want anything the first time I knocked, except to tell him the Truth. Everything has grown so much God. How do I tell him the Truth behind the burdens I carry? It's not Him. Not at all. It's all this. Who you are to me? Who he is to me? I admit I'm still a smig resentful that I think he's gonna get some kind of Highlander zap. Bam! He gets it all in one clean swoop. I have had three years and a lifetime of pain. All I ever wanted was Love and my family. Nothing more. Nothing less. To me it doesn't get any better than that.

Hollowed be Thy Name/Iron Maiden
I find him. It took me three years to accept this. How do I tell him? How do I tell him that someday, I don't know when, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year? I don't know when but someday we are gonna have to lift the Gin off of his head and clean up this rock? We are gonna have to take it back, so our children and grandchildren can continue on. He has the heart in him I see. The drive God I see that. I see why he was chosen. I always knew why he was chosen for the human race? Just not me. How do I tell him I'm the second coming? I'm the New Jesus Christ? I'm the 01 the Holy Mother back for her beasties? That he is the other half of me? I'm fire and he's water. I'm justice and he's balance.