Take Back Home Girl

Take Back Home Girl/CL
Oh I plan on it. This diamond that lay upon my hand? I'm the Atom the creation, the 01 of your own making? "LAUGH MY MOTHER FLOCKING ASS OFF"
The Rose by Bette Midler
Today I'm here to make my X and Mary Stone bleed. Back to bloody hell you go. I'm here to make this boy hurt. Justice is mine. Whats your Achelous heel boy? Nothing but credit, fame, money, fortune and greed. Taking credit for something you weren't capable of doing in that short frame. Is it that special K you want for free? My royal crown? My light? My honey? My apple? Burn me out to take the blame? Throw me out with the trash, slander my good name? No you are unworthy of eternal life. You know I have figured out something else between religion, spirituality, mythology, and folklore. The Truth buried deep IC? Don't worry I got this one people. Their is a club out their called the "Golden Dawn." Another Alistair Creepy Crowley, Bram Stoker the Vlad. Thomas something he wrote sci-fi. I hear we had a nuke go off from Russia? Back to Vlad I go. The day my brother lay in a coma, on his deathbed that is what my mother said, he looks like a vampire.
 
Bad Moon Rising/CCRW Malevolence come's back 2 light.
Do you know why mother? You sucked the life out of him right along with his father. This is what happens when you don't feed a child love. They go inside and hide and they don't grow up. Turn into little fucking demons. This is what happens when we have children to feed us love. Not the other way around. This is what happens when we objectify someone. Humiliate and belittle for our own entertainment. You mother fucking people. I'm done with the lot of you. Here try this one on for size? Compassion of the Stone. Hey what can I say, sometimes you have to be stronger than your children to save their lives. This time I am so happy you have no idea. I get happy feet and my lil' wings go all a twitter.

Take It To The Limit/Eagles
You objectified him, you jailed him, you beat him and you blamed him. Then he earned his own keep working for the lawnmower man sleeping in a room off the back porch. Bore a child at about 7 to 8 years old being made to flock little girls in Marvin's garden. Got a problem with that Truth Bitch? Now get up and fight. Here's your chance to fight. Here's your chance to be a bully now. Let's do this. You feel big now Mummy Dearest? Then you handed the gauntlet and blame off to my sister as a little girl. Dishes every day in fourth grade? Fuck you. Don't think I haven't figured out how come I had Anubis standing at my window? Lakota on my bed? The white wolf in my closet? Oh yeah how about those rocks I dragged under my bed? Have to have that much coverage with a mother like you, don't we? Wanna hang me over the fire and yank my chain some more bitch?

Real World/MB20
Should I just release my dog's? Get this dance started? Show them why you and Dad had a black Onyx square stone with a diamond for a wedding ring? Show them just who your two daughters really are? Why we put up with this bullshit for so long for all these generations? Why it's the women who stand at the door in our family tree of life, not the men?  Let's show them just what kind of Sun worshipers this family really is? Now put that mother fucking right hand in the air and you give it all you got. Hell they don't care, mummy dearest, light it up. We're back for that son in this family tree of life. Your son my sun, Aten. Athena is Justice. Now let's get this shit done. I didn't marry this piece of shit for nothing. When you see the size of Kyle and that he is the only one who has the power to remove that Gin, that Beast of the 666 off from Greg any way he can?  I'm Justice to boot? It makes me laugh, really. Justice why he lost his 2 mothers? My first broom a dirt devil? Well it was you and uncle Marvin who taught me to polish those rocks right up. Then my rock collection got bigger.

In A Little While/UK/No Stranger To Shame
Hilarious I didn't even change the station. I love it. Walking along this morning it started to sink in just what the human race tried to do to those two angels? The father said no I'll offer up my two daughters. Hey ya know who I'm gonna offer up? My X's and Mary Stone's O ring. Oh NO I DIDN'T? Oh yes I did. I mean really who wouldn't wanna fuck this pretty boy up the ass? The true fallen angel at that? Over and Over for all those mother flocking lies? Hey they said in the beginning their is two? Mary Stone you adrogynous little flamer. Hey they made their bed. I mean Mary Stone to think you kept my children home from soccer to teach them principles and values? Shame Shame! Down you go. Every one of them you will pay for. Don't worry Mary Stone I got a Mother Mary for you, bitch. Nine layers down into that fiery pit of hell. The rest can go home to my families AA. When you go through my families Attitude Adjustment you may come back. Only when you can deal with reality and knock off the bullshit of making others carry your bullshit, your cowardice, your fear. How Does It Feel/Sugarcane

You Raise Me Up/Selah
Peace, Faith, Family, Love and if it ain't enough for you go home. I mean that in all walks of life. Go home. This mother doesn't want your bad attitude, and good excuses for your bad behavior here on my rock anymore. If you can't stand for Justice, peace and joy for all at this high cost of sin? Then get the flying flock off my rock. You see you have no idea how much this mother is done. If any of you think your gonna get by me with all you games, all your blame games you place on others, to make you feel bigger, then let's Jew down on this nigger loving Jew whore of Babylon? Let's see how well that works for you all? All your paranoia and fear of something you claim to of worshiped and loved? You know Jack is right, "you can't handle the Truth." Seems pretty crystal clear to this mother.
How Far Is Heaven/Los Lonely Boy's? Closer than you think. HEEE HAWWWW!!!!!!

Listen To The Music DB (Whatever you groove they don't care)You see I'll tell you a little secret? It turns out God is the creation of everything. Right down to our colors and our music. Even if you see something as bad, sometimes you can see the Truth. Like how spirituality, has family. Religion has man and everything else is beneath it? Ego in that is atrocious. Where's your family? Your wives are beneath you? Your children are beneath you? Hell even mother nature is beneath you. Your doling out your own Godly justice to those you see as the down trodden? All you got is your book. You know what I got? I got a rock. If you haven't figured out the answer that JC was here for Truth and Love his children, his mother that feeds you life? Gods green earth is a creation of the trinity in all walks of life. The sun that gives us life or the son that lights you up inside, that golden pot of honey at the end of the rainbow. Funny how it comes after the rain? What is behind that rainbow? The sun. Total Eclipse Of The Heart/Bonnie Tyler.

Already Gone/Eagles
I was going to change the station but it's the Eagles. I can't and when you see Kyle you'll see why? Job the Pilot light. The dawning of the new son with that ring of fire? With hair like women and teeth like lions. Take your pick? Poison Ivy? That Fiery pit to death if you touch disregard, disrespect. U touch 9 layers down into that fiery pit of hell you go. Tell them your mother Hell Mary sent you there. The Fiery One gets to be the creation of your own making. Laughing this morning, thinking I was about 7 to 8 years old crocheting those white collars like Judge Judy? I thought I led such a boring life being locked in a box by someone my whole God Damned life? Stay in the box Colleen. Back inside Pandora's box you go. Bad kitty! That I am. I like myself just fine thank you Sam I am.  little Bewitched humor for you. What you don't think I'm funny?

She Talks To Angels/The Black Crows
Yeah I do. I talk to angels, you got a problem with that? Got a problem your mama taking her rock back? I mean you have all in each your own way destroyed it all to holy hell. So you claim fighting all these holy wars? This part makes me so angry, it makes me cry. How the flying flock could you ever believe your own mother, your own creation would ever destroy Gods green earth that feeds you life? This is how you choose to profit off your losses? The ones sitting at the bottom? Your Veterans, your disabled, the ones you put in a box and label to make a living off them. Shut them down because you don't want to open your eyes and look at the Truth? Your mother who gave you those walking feet? Your mother who you have done nothing but turn a blind eye to? Cause her bloody pain every mother flocking day.

Move/LB Turn Off The Lights
All this infighting and rape of my land you fed the wrong profit. I admit some day's I hate you. I want to walk away. I want to end it all. I don't have to like my children everyday, but God Dammit weather you like it or not I sure do love them. You think its been easy looking at all this destruction and all this garbage? Your labels you place on your weak? It is these people that hurt God Damn you. You know what else I learned? Know matter what God they pray to they have one thing in common and that is Faith. They have walked many deserts. Lived through a few storms. They are worthy, my slaves you profit off from with your high cost of sin?

Night Fever/Bee Gee's
Hey Congress you were supposed to feed your people, make sure they have decent jobs and make a living but no you turned your job over to Corporate America and the Insurance industry. Hey Big Brother I got a Big Brother for you. His name is JC, he's back for Justice. Gotta problem with that? This Mythological fellow? You heard of him? The one's whose flock you were supposed to be feeding not making a living off their suffering? Handed it all over just like my X. Dumbshits!

Good 2B Me/UK
They have carried their children on their backs many generations. Weather you like it or not it is your mother that gave you those wings to fly no matter what wings you think they are. If Leonardo Davinci and some of your other inventors can create beauty from mother nature then so can you. It is you humanity whom chose to profit off that destruction. Not your parents. You people with all your white collars, you know God Damn well who I'm looking at up there? The way I see it. You don't get to pick nothing. From this mothers perspective. You can thank God for that. To the rest of you GO TO HELL.

Never Be The Same/Christopher Cross
Baby I'm A Want You/Bread
Gypsy/Fleetwood Mac/Mirage
Wind Beneath My Wings BM
Sitting here with my J. My cherry scented candles. The other day, Dave just happen to hand me a black candle holder with a gold snake and green eyes. A few days before a blue butterfly lay in my path. A blue heart gem a few days before that. 2 days ago M. Hands me a purple hot rod that says evil twins.  Universal signs?
Only Wanna B With U/H&HB
Ol Quaran 19:19
Sister Golden Hair/America
To think its my job 2 put the fear of God in my children 2 wake them up? Lil ole me?
Sail On/Commodores
Hotel California/Eagles
Let's see how strong you and Mary are now bitch? I'm the God Daughter this time. A creation of your own making. Here I stand, just like I told my in laws in the beginning after that rape. I wrote them a letter three years ago. I told them the Truth about what their precious son did. She calls Alex and here we go again with you people right here. I told them I don't want to hear one more negative word about about this mother come out of your mouth, I know something you don't, I still stand. I know what side of love I stand on. I know I'm coming back, do you guys have faith inside where your going when you leave Gods green earth? You know? My diamond, my rock. Well it turns out Elaine, this mother is welcome to make all the God Damned waves I want, because without this mother you wouldn't have life. To bad you threw it away when you had it and took it for granted. You should be proud of yourselves, you taught your precious son something? How do be a thieving lying little man whore. Ask and you shall receive.
Lonesome Loser/LRB
Oh poor Gregory Allen Boo Hoo. You stuck this little mother in a backwards L piece of shit little house. Ignorance is no excuse. You do know the difference between right and wrong that I think everyone can attest too?
Set Fire 2 The Rain Adelle
Peaceful Easy Feeling/Eagles

Crux

https://cruxnow.com/global-church/2017/02/23/catholicism-handle-discovery-extraterrestrial-life/

The Promised Land

I wrote this at the beginning of this journey. Before I knew I could write. I was up during the night fighting with these two crazy red heads. It was like Whoopi Goldberg on Ghost. I flew up out of bed with my usual mantra when I'm not ready for something. "No, no, no." Not another man. I'm done with men. I'm walking away. Not another man. No, please! Not another man. I'm done. Then they kept saying he is an honorable man. At the time I didn't know for sure what they meant? Or did I care. I was done. I knew what I saw inside him honor wise. Just not for me. Not another man. Please!

Take It Easy/Eagles
I was sitting at a desk and their was a newspaper article cutout taped to the wall. The heading was this meth, small towns, and native tribes being taken out. How does it get in? I knew the answer to that. That is why I left Patty a note, telling her what I knew up to that point. I had a police detective come in and question me one night and show me photo's. I knew them, 2 of them I had seen and served. Especially the woman. I had a sit down conversation with her one night. Let's just say word got around the valley that a cop questioned me. The local dealers were threatened by me. They had no reason to be as long as they left Michail alone. I wasn't sure what was wrong with Michail and I was literally just figuring it out. Then the woman came back in with her driver one day. They sat for four hours. It turns out the third guy in the picture I went to High School with.

Yes, I knew how they were getting into the casino's and onto the native land? Later I learned why they are focusing on taking out the natives? Oh yes, in case you don't know, all this insurance that is being used for native tribes, is the same for our veterans, our elderly, our disabled and mentally ill. It's all the same, being doled out from the same place. Determining everyone's value. Suffering and pain. Hell my doctor wrote me for a real muscle relaxer, because my back was like a rock. I just had surgery. I can't get an adjustment or physical therapy for 3 months. I get to the pharmacist to pick it up and the insurance company put it on hold. I get a call from the pharmacist yesterday, telling me the insurance company would like me to try flexeril, which I do take. It does nothing for this. The other compazine. I have taken that for fifteen years. It does nothing but make me sleep. I have a black cloud I can't shake until dinner time. I told the pharmacist this is not your job or your place. This is my doctors job, who knows this already. She is the doctor with my records and it is up to her, not the insurance and pharmacist. I went through this with imitrex that is only cents on the dollar now. How many trips have I had to take to the pharmacist just to get my pain meds. Who hurts the whole time? Who is supposed to be staying down? It's not just me. It's everyone people. You do not have the right to blanket judge someone else's pain and suffering. Even if you have addiction in your family. It is not your place to ever refuse service to the hurting and suffering in a hospital anymore either. Just because Big Brother changed the pain charts, changed what a narcotic and pain med is it does not make it ethical. It makes it inhumane.

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked
You are not treating the human race with dignity by locking these bathroom doors or telling them you can't serve them, or they get served and treated differently because they are homeless. When you have a customer in front of you, I don't give a flying flock if they are homeless. They are a human being who has a right in this united states to be treated with dignity, not judgment. I'm here to tell you you are not the judge. None of you. You don't know if their job got pulled out from under them? You don't know if they lost their home or family? You don't know if it was a medical or mental illness that took them out? Hey how about this high cost of living? How about this changing of the industry getting the human race to adapt to your numbers to feed all your marked up industry of everything good? Then you hold it over their heads? To get medical treatment? Shawdy treatment at best. This hell care industry has almost killed me several times because they wouldn't use the machine to diagnose me. They kept treating the wrong thing the wrong way. I am not the only one. 

It's Been Awhile/Staind
This is the Untied States Of America none of what I have lived through in the last 19 to 20 years has been freedom. Not the 10 years before that being married to this man, that you didn't protect me or my children from. This mother could not get her foot back in the door to get them out. I had to watch my children being turned into Cinderella Children. Fighting for every basic necessity. A price being put on everything. This is not Love. You cannot put a price on love. Those of you that are having babies to feed you love, you need to stop. You must love yourself, not how someone else values you before you can love a child. Especially a baby whose only language is crying. If you can't handle some one else's screaming or your own then what makes you think you can handle a newborn?

Blurry/POM
Oh Big Brother, I got a "BIG BROTHER" for you. I got a "BIG DADDY" for you. I've got the "MOTHERS OF ALL MOTHERS" behind me. This is the end, and your nine lives are up. When I looked up the name of my Seraphim angel, I found another nine. Yes! As for their being four horsemen, their aren't, their are five. I saw my fifth black heart walking through pioneer square one day, during a wedding. This was the day I got taken back to my own wedding. That other number five? We had a view from round top park of five major attractions.

Meant To Live/Switchfoot
As I was walking out I looked down on the ground, this was my fifth black heart. Watching and reading up on these horsemen, yes I see that you have four documented, but their are five. It was the first and really only time I tried to read a bible. I thought it was fourth grade but it was fifth. I opened it to the four horsemen, and I threw it. I said, "my God, my father is not like that. He wouldn't do that." Yes he would. It is clearly written an end to all these books of hope. The wrath, Vishnu, the apocalypse. Judgment Day.

The Joker/SMB
You are no longer welcome to use the human race to experiment on, nor my beasties, nor my river, ocean or land. You have and you have had answers for a long time. It is you this system, and Congress whom allowed this. Your job was to feed the people. To provide jobs for the people, to make sure they had health care, not misery, suffering, blame and death. It was your job to make sure we had water, clean water in this united states. You poisoned literally with your synthetics or your high taxes and fee's. I repeat I am not happy that the human race in this united states has to buy a bottle of water to get a drink, that goes in my land fills. No you in congress get an F. Get your wars and poison off my rock.

Sweet Home Alabama/LS
It dawned on me after a few weeks that they are literally having me do in some way the steps every day. Which I did before I went into treatment. I stood in front of the steps and traditions, I read them, then I said to myself. I already do this. I have been taking inventory on myself practically all my life. I have stepped back and came up with solutions if their was an issue. I talked to God. How did I get here? My X, the Gin, the beast, not only in his name but his numbers. A sociopath that is also a sado masochist. He is the missing link. The GAP that others kept mentioning to me over the years.

Tequila Sunrise/Eagles
Their is something missing, and he takes you for granted. It is that veil, a mask he wears. A lifetime of watching others party and have fun. A lifetime of joking around. Never taking any responsibility for anything. Never having to work hard for anything. His parents did it all and lied to me all the way pointing the finger at me to do more, and they left him out of any responsibility. Just like this system, my family and friends. Just because the justice system said so or put it in writing, or make it a law it does not make it true.

Sail On/TC 
When I wrote this it was the morning after Freya 1 and Freya 2 woke me up. First I wrote a letter of apology to Kyle. It said I'm sorry to place my burdens on you. I am sorry to place my money issues on you. That is one of the reasons I didn't ask anyone for anything. Not even the people I knew. I don't like to be a burden to anyone. I don't like to ask for help. Especially not a man. The way a man values a woman today is atrocious. It is disgusting and despicable. A man buys you a drink or dinner and your expected to do your part by serving them back sexually. I have never and I will not do that.

Small Town/JM
I had a conversation a couple weeks ago with a man. Older than I. It was about his retirement. Where he lives. Nothing much more. I guess I missed something? I went to the restroom and walked out the door and he stops me. I told him I'm going home. I was writing and well he bothered me. I wasn't getting my work done. Just trying to get out of my box. Then he asks me if I'm seeing anyone? I said yes. Then he said why didn't you tell me that before? Before what? A conversation? Had you known I had a boyfriend, you wouldn't of wasted my time telling me about your worthless life? I mean my God? The audacity of this man? The possession and ownership? The control?

What It's Like/Everlast
I had no desire to start that first date lying process all over again. A man tells you what they once were a sob story. A man tells you what his dreams are and he is driven. A man tells you what they think you want to hear to charm you. To lure you. They will do and say anything. Money is the big turn off. I worked a job, where my boss kept leaving his paycheck wide open. Literally sitting right where I worked. I just kept ignoring it. Then he writes me a poem, the black haired angel. I'm sitting on break listening to this, just going OMG! It was his boss that accused me of using my body to get an interview with the president of the company. Irony?

Broken/Seether
I'll be damned if I do. I'll be damned if I don't. My whole God Damned life. I remember when I was physically attacked for the first time by a man. He football tackled me from behind. I walked away again. He didn't like that. He has me in a choke hold pinned me down to the bed, and I whispered in his ear, "go ahead. Be a man. Show me what a man you are. I'm half your weight. I'm half your size go ahead. Be a man." The policeman said, I shouldn't of said that. Challenged him like that. Why not? I'm in it. Nothing you do with a personality like this will ever be right. I have the right to speak and defend myself any way I can when being attacked. If it was my words that he couldn't handle? Then he's not a man he's a lying piece of shit coward. Weather you like it or not. I lived.

Lying Eyes/Eagles
This was the guy that later I found out he had four DUI's not just one. This was the guy that I asked him if he ever hit a woman? He said no. Laughing one evening with Michail, I told him this story. I said what I should of done, was gotten more down to detail. Jim have you choked a woman? Jim have you football tackled a woman? Have you lifted her over your head and thrown her down to the ground? Have you bitten her? Have you picked her up and thrown her threw a door? I supported him and his daughter for year. He cleaned out my bank account and left me with nothing. I had no choice but to move back in with him. Try and save money. Move again.

You Are The Woman/Firefall
Jim collected half of every bill from me during that time. During that time I was looking for somewhere else to live. It was to expensive at the time. Michail asked me why I dated him? He was talented. He was driven. He just lost his father. His sister literally came in and sold his home out from under. He had a daughter. I wanted peace. Even though my mother insisted for a year I date this guy. He knew the truth about my mother. At the time I didn't pick up that I was quite the catch. The fall girl once again. The perfect girl to use and abuse. A nice girl who worked hard. A nice girl with a heart. That like to help others. Jim behaved like he was in high school. The character assassination he did for his bad behavior. Later another apology that came to late. He apologized for the lies and character assassination with my X. He admitted that he used women to live off from. Clean them out and leave them high and dry.

Swayin To The Music/JR
I've been around bullies all my life. This mother does not like bullies. I realized up to this point in my life that I have dated an abuser every time. Something you can't see but it is there. They were each abusive in a different way. Not one of them took responsibility for allowing the mothers to control the children when they are in our home. Especially when I am not speaking ill of anyone. I am just being a friend and a mother to these girls. These girls went through hell themselves having to walk on egg shells when they didn't have to. I kept getting told my whole life to hold on. It will disappear. It will just go away. It never did because the fathers wouldn't stand up to these daughters or mothers. They wouldn't draw a line at the bad behavior these women were doing.

Tuesday's Gone/LS
Michail is not an obvious abuser. He hit the nail on the head when he came to me all these years later apologizing for his passive aggressive behavior toward me. I realized that was just it? I have put up with this in every relationship. Dating man boys and not men. I always said my picker was broken. I had no more trust for anyone anymore. Certainly no man. I was done. I just wanted to work in Fall City at Raging River as a server. Rent somewhere close by. Just be with my girls. Then I find out that this was my families plan for me this whole time? I find out that this is just what they wanted me to go through to learn something about human nature? Abuse in all forms? Neglect in all forms? Being told my whole life to accept? Gotta do your part? Now they want me to trust them? Some scars you do not see?

Killer Queen/Queen
To trust them with love? When I know what love is? I know I've never had it. I decided long ago I'm done. I'm done with love. I'm done with people treating my life like it's a game. Taking my heart for granted in all walks of life. Playing the blame game with my heart. No I'm done. Then they pull this shit? It just kept getting worse. The names? The labels? The titles? The power behind those names? How normal is any of this? How normal is it for me to say well if you want to date me be prepared for a storm? Our family is taking this rock back? In the mean time we are the only ones who can get all these really bad bad bad dark beasties standing inside one man out and off this rock? Talk about having to earn love? Do I feel honored? Is this an honor? That is a great big NO. To find out I'm the Queen B? The Queen Bitch? Babylon?

Have You Ever Seen The Rain/CCR
I'll Do Anything For Love/Meat Loaf
If any of you think when this day comes that I will dishonor these women. Dishonor this family that stands above me. Dishonor these four horsemen. Dishonor my brother, my one true father. You might want to think again. I just have to get over this hurtle. I just have to somehow speak the truth with him standing in front of me so I can't hang up the phone. So I can't not answer the phone. So I can't walk away. You can't really tell someone else's tone or expression in a message. You can't see their eyes in order to know I speak the truth. Still it's not me I'm worried about? It's him how he's gonna take being told your whole life was chosen for you? You didn't make any decisions? They own our bodies? They own us? They have a really big big scary plan for us. Not just today. Not just the next day, but for the rest of eternity here on this rock and in the heavens? Like that's not the other big C? Crazy. I am calling this poem, The Promised Land. I realized this poem they had me write from the heart. Right at the start, that this is what mankind has been asking for in all walks of life. Especially after I saw the white tiger at the Olympics. The symbolism of mother nature and God coming together. I had just found a black sweat shirt with a tiger on it. That says Girls Bite. I just want to get to the next book. The next stepping stone. God let this be the last step to Truth and Love.

I Love You/Climax Blues Band/Flying The Flag
The Promised Land
From The First Time I saw you, from our first conversation
HHHMM....This is a good man, this is a good man
From the next time I see you, that bald head I see
HHHMM....I like that bald head, that bald head I see
I like this man, I like this man
I always saw you Kyle, I heard every word
You stand by with your coffee, hanging around
I saw you Kyle, I always saw you
From that slouch of your shoulders, right down to your feet
HHMMM....I like that man, I like that man
HHMMM....I like that nose, I like that nose
It's a beautiful nose,
HHMMM....I like this man, I like this man
I saw you Kyle, I always saw you
I heard you Kyle, I always heard you
From that smile on your face, to that serpent you wear
HHMMM.... I like this man, I like this man
We will run in the sun
We will splash in the sea
We will howl at the moon Kyle
We will dance in the rain
HHMMM.... I like this man, this man is mine
Give me all your pain Kyle, give me all your fears
Give me all your sorrows, your anger and rage
Give me your burdens, I'll kiss the tears away
We will howl at the moon Kyle, we will dance in the rain
Give me all your rage Kyle, give me all your pain
I will take it inside me, I will wash it away
Let me fill the hole in your heart Kyle, give it to me hard
Let me heal you with my love, let me lighten up your heart
We will howl at the moon Kyle, we will dance in the rain
We will play in the sand Kyle, we will splash in the sea
That purple aura above your head, makes me drop to my knees
You will never stand alone Kyle, I will always represent
You will never sleep alone Kyle, I'll always be near
Tucked up underneath or over the top
Where you go Kyle, I go too
We will howl at the moon and dance in the rain
Give me all your rage Kyle, I'll take it all in
Give me all your fears Kyle, I'll wash them away
What you feel Kyle, I feel too
You cry, I cry too
I like this man, this man is man
I will lift those heavy shoulders, I will take your pain away
I will fill you up with love Kyle, I will wash away those tears
Give me all your pain Kyle, give it to me hard
We will run in the sun Kyle, we will play in the sand
We will howl at the moon Kyle, and dance in the rain
I will bow before my king, I will honor you
Where you go Kyle, I go too
Give me all the bad, the sad, the ugly, if it's you Kyle, it's all beautiful to me
To me your beautiful, I will represent
Wherever you be Kyle, I be too
Wherever you go Kyle, my home is with you
Let me touch your skin, I want to inhale your scent
We will play in the sun and splash in the sea
We will howl at the moon Kyle and dance in the rain
HHMMM....I like this man, this man is mine, I will represent
I will kiss away the tears, I will wash them away
I am standing here before you, do you know who I am?
That purple aura above your head, this diamond rock in my hands
I'm standing here before you Kyle, do you know who I am?
I've traveled through these valley's, my purple socks upon my feet
I'm standing here before you Kyle, do you know who I am?
I will honor the mothers, I will honor this father
I will honor his tribe, I will take them by the hand, I'll help you guide
I'm standing here before you, do you know who I am?
I've walked through someone else's valley of death
You've come through the fire no worse for wear
Your beautiful Kyle, your beautiful to me
It's pretty ironic, this last time we come back
I was raised by a schizophrenic mother, absentee alcoholic father
All I ever wanted was my children, and the love of a man
He burned out my fire with his lazy demands
He left me to die and tossed me out with the trash
I said to God, I don't need love God, I don't need love
Just as long as he loves his children, maybe he'll love me through them
That did not happen, I was abandoned and alone
Come to find Kyle, he loved another man
It was good to me Kyle, I did not care
If you love yourself Kyle, that love can grow into your children
That's all that mattered to me
His hate for me, is his hate for himself
I pray he steps out of the closet and into the light
Then and only then can he be the man
The father he was truly meant to be
Here you are raising 10 children, all Indigo, all on your own
Two bouts of cancer, you suffered alone
You stood by your children, I don't care what you lost
What you lost, I carry close to my heart
I was told I'll lose my small intestine for everybody else's shit
It's a small price to pay Kyle, our bodies represent
Those two mothers up above, told me who we represent
It's a new chapter, it's a new book
I don't want to waste any more time Kyle, no more separate nights
No more standing alone Kyle, no more lonely nights
Do you know who I am Kyle, do you know who we represent?
That purple aura above your head, that diamond rock that lay upon my hands
We will run in the sun Kyle, we will splash in the sea
We will howl at the moon and dance in the rain
We've got four years left Kyle, not one more lonely night
I like this man, I love this man, this man is mine
I will honor the mothers, I will honor this father
I will guide his tribe, I will represent
Do you know who I am Kyle? Do you know who we represent?
Not one more minute, not one more wasted minute
I love you Kyle, I always have, to infinity and beyond, to infinity and beyond
I will represent, and honor this father, this man IS MINE.
Set Fire To The Rain/Adele
Fire and water baby. What does fire and water do? They cleanse, they heal. We begin anew.
Love The Way You Lie/Skylar Grey
I admit I haven't read this in about two years or so. Reading it now I see it in a whole new light? I mean my God? You had me read this to this man three years ago? I put this on my blog a couple years back? Oh my God. You literally put me through this? Right up to feeling his sorrows? Perhaps I should of read this again before I blogged it? I can't believe you did this to me? I can't believe he doesn't remember this? How could anyone forget someone who wrote this after a few conversations? Kind of like that poem the "Black haired Angel." I want to crawl under that red rock right now. Presumptuous comes to mind? Do you think? Petulance is on for this one. Can we please just get on with this? Bring on the storm already? Let this be the last chapter all ready? God Damn!
Smoke/FGL
Freya! Freya, are you mother flocking nuts? In the beginning you said, just read it. Push. Just say it. Push! He will know what it means? He doesn't even remember the words or this. It all just went right over that bald head of his. I mean Cecelia the other big C that stands above me. How could you do this to me? It has been so long since I have been mad at you. I had to accept you. That if you are there at this time in my life, weather I like it or not, you are one my guides. I mean who the flying flock would ever want a X anything as a guide? Good partings or bad partings? Oh my God. Like this isn't flocked up? 
Bring On The Rain/JDM
Almost Lover/A Fine Frenzy
Stay/Sugarland
Cowboy Take Me Away/DC
A Love Without End, Amen/George Straight
Xxx's and Ooo's/Trisha Yearwood

Touched By Poison

"We all have two sides. The world we live in is a world of opposites. The trick is to realize those opposing things. In order to appreciate one you have to have the other. The more darkness you gather up, the more light you can see." Quote by David Lynch
 
Against All Odds/PC
Here I go again. Isn't that the same song that played the last time I blogged? Oh a part of me was happy about more discoveries I have made? Sitting at Dave's last night we watched the documentary on the native woman with the 7 stars above her head. Every time I watch one of these I learn something new. Last night and this morning in my head I'm repeating yes! Yes! Yes! She's got another name "Freedom." Let Freedom ring baby. I am so done with this.

Old Time A Rockin' Roll/BS
It went over the Masonry? It didn't really hit on what their original intent was? George Washington and Ben Franklin. I laughed inside. It was Ben Franklin standing there in a thunderstorm with his kite and key. That was when I said "ya' know Alex that isn't just God that created that thunderbolt? No that's Mother Nature's handy work."

Desperation/Oblivion
Then I discover Leo D. used Mother Nature and her beasties for his inventions? For his paintings? For his codes and dimensions? It was also Leo that was accused of Sodomy by a prostitute and they locked him up before being proven guilty. Then they weren't going to let him speak about this label they planted on his head. He said "no, you took away my liberties with this label. You took away my good name and all I have worked for with this. All because someone didn't get their way?"

I Only Want to Be With You/Hootie
It is exactly what is happening today with this filing a restraining order on someone. They never let me speak "that it was a cover up to a crime that he and Mary Stone committed. That it was a set up. That it wasn't the first time they tried to get me to cause a scene in public. Even then he verbally attacked me then turned and opened the door to a crowded waiting area. I didn't yell. I said quietly 7 words after what he just pulled at that moment."

Ends/Everlast
Those 7 words "don't you turn your back on me." I get a restraining order that I can't go back into my three businesses that they just signed out of my name. Along with my four bank accounts. I used my fathers money for that second business. I just finished the labor. Had it open not even a month before Mary Stone pulled this. No one knew my whole marriage I had to fight for everything. Anything I stuck in my mouth. Food for my children. Heat because he'd get up in the middle of the night in the winter time and turn it off completely. Any basic necessity I had before, I now had to fight for. All that volunteer work I did over the years? Gone.

Heaven/Kane Brown
Yes, this mother has been in a good mood. Knowing full well why Justice is a mother? The mother that the first time I turn to Big Brother for help, I don't get to defend or speak because of your blanket laws sitting in our justice department? I was made guilty and never allowed to speak. This is the thing about white collar crimes today? It's not a police matter, it's a civil court case matter that I need a lawyer to speak for me. All those years I had proof.

Night Moves/BS
It was silence for me after that. What happens when you don't feed someone love? They die. All those years? I had my family before Greg came along. I still hung out and had relationships with my high school friends all those years. I had the relationships of the women in the valley whom were my friends until we started hanging out as couples. I realized that slowly over time Greg was taking credit for things that wasn't due. Any compliment someone paid me on any thing Greg would stand there and say Oh it was nothing. He didn't do it. He didn't do any of it. He turned me into this invisible woman that just hung out in the background. Yes, Justice and Freedom do go hand in hand in hand.

Another Love Song/UK
I've been thinking about that black box and being buried six feet under? The vision I got slammed into after I made this agreement. I am standing in front of a black shadow. I started throwing all my anger and rage into it until I fell face down on the ground. Then I got up on my hands and knees, I looked to my right and I said"that's it? You buried me under all this pain. You hid me from the Truth" Talk about being pulled out of that black box? The first time I saw that black shadow was when I went to a meditation channeling class toward the end of my pregnancy with Kiley. I was sitting in a circle of trees. Like someone took a round lawn more and just cleared a circle out of the center of the forest. I stood up and walked into this black shadow. I shrugged my shoulders and went "hhmmmph! Walked around it.

One Of These Nights/Eagles
When I came out I asked Dr. Peable's who was a spirit putting on the class using a vessel. This vessel and guide go hand in hand people. His answer was "I'm not ready for that answer yet." I accepted that. I mean what am I going to do? I had allot on my plate. I had Alex. I was pregnant living in a fixer upper driving a late 1960's Datsun put together with bondo. The seat belts didn't lock and the passenger door didn't shut unless it was locked. Well Greg was a doctor and he needed my car that I paid for. I had my father to care for not sure if he was in Graham yet.

When It Rains It Pours/LC
I really was not being supported or fed all those years. I went as long as I could for my children. I remember getting up one day and saying "I came here to be a mother. I can't be a mother if I'm spiritually dead." If that wasn't the Truth. I knew it wasn't me. I knew it was Greg and that black cloud. My whole body felt like lead with every movement. I knew I was tired. I knew I didn't have the energy inside my body to do this anymore. he depleted me in all walks of life. He made sure I paid everyday. If I stopped moving, here he'd come.

The Summer Is Done With Us/Palms
Nitpick me about more I could be doing and how I could do it better, cheaper to accommodate him. Telling me I'm stupid and uneducated. He couldn't do anything then. He just had a new woman now, Mary Stone, whom gave him a good excuse for the bad behavior all those years. They used the Justice system to castrate me. That is why I'm Justice that other Big J.

All Summer Long/KR
I got a man, and I got a heart I'd love to get back to. I learned a few more things on those documentaries. I didn't tell Kyle the first time I saw that purple triangle? It was the same weekend. A different vision. I was walking up to the ocean and sitting on a boulder is Greg with Alex. I was angry he was there. I didn't want him there. I did not like this man not even then. He was not a good man. I was stuck. This is my time. This is my vision, the last thing I wanted to see was Greg. They look at me and I look at them. Then over to the right a giant purple triangle appeared and it exploded with the ocean and blue sky in the back ground. Then appeared a giant square. I slammed out of it. I asked what does this mean? The answer, I am going to a family of three to four. I looked at Dr. Peables. That's it? I came here to be told once again something that is obvious? Is there a book on symbols and colors?

America/Sister Golden Hair
The purple triangle means royalty. The trinity of royalty from the heavens and the stars. I found out last night that the square represents equality and rectitude. Yes. A good find. Of course what is white people? So much more to tell. I need to tell it before Hope falls. Back to that Namesake and all it entails?

Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
This was my song that I dedicated to my childhood friend inside my heart the first time I heard it. It turns out not to be true. Another let down. Another broken heart. Someone else's issues and bad behavior. As usual on my big day. Looking back every time I have a celebration, or some kind of happiness? Someone comes along and destroys it. Every time. None of this really started until Greg. After him, I no longer had anymore rights.

Turning Tables/Adele
I heard in the beginning the fault lines are about to shift. Then I discovered the cause and effect of that Truth? The Rose? The Kennedy curse, sins of thy father? Who pays not just Rose but my aunt Judy. Meningitis. All those years my grandmother never knew the whats and why's about her daughter? I in my early twenty's having a conversation with my grand mother somehow knew the answer. Yes definitely that Kennedy curse got pulled in real close. In 2015 I learned the other Truth about Meningitis? That is causes a migraine. My family curse on both sides. For both my sister and I. My twin soul sister. Boy did her and I get a double whammy on this one. My father and my great Cherokee grandmother.

We were at Saving Private Ryan. It was the first scene? They walked up on shore coming in from the boats, they were ambushed. All that bloody water....For what? The whole time I'm thinking Oh my God they are right out in the open? Duh!!!! I got up and walked out. Hit instantly with a migraine. Now I know the curse of the Truth. Slavery and slavery to the war. What it really created? Wiping out the indigent ones in all walks of life to get to the land. Put them on the reservation. I discover how much land right at the beginning that was really owned by the natives before these take overs and war. Put those crazy natives on the reservation. Make them our slaves after we steal from them. Then I discover this is just the same pattern to all the other indigent ones in every nation. While every other race color and creed that were stolen from in one form or another, or made martyrs told to repent or die. Nikolia TTTT from Russia and Anastasia? It seems Walt was right? Their really is a lost Anastasia. I on my tippy toes, doing ballet poses and curtsies. Then I watch a horse curtsy and bow? I discover the pose, the horse, the curtsy the bow?

Over here I got Nikolai Tesla? His energy what was stolen? The power of the 3,6, and 9's? One of my first questions in the beginning about Kyle why does a man who is healthy and has every thing he could ever want have such heavy shoulders? I heard energy. Isaac Newton, that apple? Just one of my big eye's and that apple written about in all walks of life? Home is where your heart is? I'm not home yet. I recon I still have a ways to go.

I'll go down some footnotes I made last night.
The Statue Of Liberty is a pagan goddess. From France 1876 Americas 100th birthday. Given by Bartoley and Lovelay. Spelling I know. They were part of French Society. Free Masons. They represented freedom. Freedom of speech and freedom from the purgatories and labels of religion. Against ignorance. That other big I. That I wrote about earlier? Ignorance is no longer a good excuse for bad behavior. You all know the difference between right and wrong. You all know when you served up your own justice judging others and using ignorance as an excuse. You all had parents. Mentally ill or not. You all know manners. You by now should know what morals, principals and values are by now. I do not want to hear ignorance for your bad behavior serving up your own justice. You all knew that other JD was upon you.

Blanket labels, blanket justice, blanket laws, blanket cures, blanket fines and fee's IC? All to make a living off from humanity using my families resources? Serving the wrong profit, feeding the wrong stock equals an eye for an eye. Fortunately for this mother I not only have one big eye, I got eyes in the back of my head and it turns out lots of little eyes. All to feed a machine? The enemy sits at our table and serves us? Really people? The only ones creating the slavery, the negative labels and all this confusion on sexuality and the color on our skin is big brother and well King Tut's curse. We don't see color in heaven. When I served people in all walks of life, I might of noticed the different colors in all walks of life not knowing who anyone else was before they sat down in front of me. I know one thing I accepted the Truth of who they were when they sat down in front of me. I accepted their words and behavior as Truth. It's not my job. My job is to serve them the best of my ability in that moment.

The only thing I cared about was that person sitting in front of me at that moment in that time. Not what came before. I learned a long time ago, that nothing tells me the Truth more than that first moment. That first conversation, because it doesn't get any better than that. If you want something different or better than that? Then you need to walk away. It's not your place to get into a relationship with someone weather friendship, or significant other and tell them to change themselves for you to accommodate you. I realized when I looked at past photos of people? I did not like what I would see then. What I liked and what attracted me is what I see today. I shouldn't be ashamed of that. You shouldn't be either. You need to look yourself in the mirror before you decide to tear down and destroy another human being for your own personal issues. If you can't pick yourself up, don't pick up someone else, until you have walked through it. In order to have compassion not judgment.

You don't learn life in a book. That is one part of life but higher education is off balance and has to high of a cost. We allowed Big Brother and that ridiculous Murphy's test that you have to take now for the most basic job is absurd. You made it harder on the little people. It is an old test from the forties that Big Brother and Corporate America use to nitpick the flying flock out of the servers of this country. Corporate America is the reason for all the easy access to a human beings personal information. Hey come pay to invade someone else's privacy and use it against them. Just because it says you can't in small print, does not mean this service should be open to the human race. The release of the cell numbers? Big brother. All this education and insurance industry, Big Brother and Corporate America using the human race and world economy to feed a machine, not humanity?

We allowed the enemy to sit at our own table and serve us in all walks of life. Big Brother literally handed it over. At what cost and who pays? The little people. They lock public restroom doors using the addicted and homeless as an excuse, yet what about the the rest of the human race who are victims serving this machine? Whose body part's and septic system is cursed or sick? Cancer, the septic system, chrones disease, that gall bladder. Liver disease. I don't know when I was growing up all I ever heard was benefits. Benefits. Benefits. Truth is I see no benefit or service in any of what I have lived through, especially in the last twenty years. I see history hasn't changed? We are still serving the Pharaohs from the beginning. They just got the human race to adapt.


Bartoley and Lovelay, the masonry used codes and keys. The name on the purple scarf under the bowl is Alexandria. They also did not like Napoleon. Who and what is up with Napoleon? Lady liberty's torch symbolizes? Enlightenment. Light of Knowledge and Wisdom. Sound familiar? Framework Gustav Eiffel. She has 7 rays. Yes. Devils Island. I laughed and I looked at Dave another connection here in this Washington? Devils Elbow. Kevin and I would cruise Devils Elbow. Sits in district of Columbia and guess what? The catholic church didn't like this. Afraid we would worship her and what she stands for. Life, Liberty, and Justice for all of humanity. She is a mother this time, whom has never been allowed to speak. I'm taking it back. My life, my liberty, my torch for this rock that family upstairs and this man downstairs. The one I never saw the house, just the man. Now I know why that is? What I learned about the woman who stands on that State Capital?

The woman standing on the State Capital with the blanket on her left shoulder has a name Freedom. Why does she have a blanket on her left shoulder? You fucked it up in this hell care system. Before apple came along as another affiliate it was Molina. Then after being raped and getting more labels, my insurance got down graded even more. The way they treat a rape victim in the hospital just with that HIPPA? To tell a victim who was just beaten and raped. I asked for nothing and I wanted nothing when I walked up to the property manager. All I was going to say was I was raped. He is on camera. He walked out the door behind me as I was walking off the lot. Instead the maintenance man grabbed me by the arm before I could speak, and told me I was 86'd off the lot. The only reason I got in that truck wasn't because I had permission to go through any open door. Truth is when a woman is invited through an open door, she has the right to say no. She has the right to not be raped after she crosses any door.

The only reason I got in that truck was because while sitting on a red rock, someone calls the police. I have to show ID and have a conversation. Even though when the police came, they saw a woman just sitting on a red rock. I never approached anyone or asked for anything. I spent my money and used my EBT card to buy food. This was the only place available that took EBT cards. I had the police called because of Mary Stone twice taking pictures of me praying alone with my hand in the air. She told the police I was lying in the middle of an intersection. That is what the policeman said to me. That is when I said back to the police. That is my point? He didn't ask me. He just allowed someone once again to call, and say anything. Here they come. Sitting alone under a tree writing with my head phones on. Here comes the Sheriff. He walks in and asks the manager if I am allowed to sit on this corporate land that is open to the public? He said yes. Still he comes to ask me questions. I wouldn't give him my name. This is what I put up with after being raped and the second year. After I put my one year in from being gone and being 86'd off this lot? I come back and three different employee's caused three different scenes standing in public. If I wanted to eat or be served I had no rights. I had to stand there be humiliated and take it. Once again I did not cause a scene. These people were justified to not serve me food when my green was just as good as anyone else's. One a coworker and friend who has never seen any bad behavior but has sure made other employees miserable with hers.
Iron Man/BS
Standing in line at the grocery store the new property manager who did nothing when his maintenance man grabbed me by the arm and would not let me speak, started yelling at me in the store about how a man who raped me drove away after, poisoned himself and shot himself in the head. Not my problem he didn't like my Truth. My goal when I posted that video after the rape was about the words that took place between me and him? The reason why he raped women? The misunderstanding between his mother and him over his fathers love? Well as far as hair like women and teeth like lions that's what happens when someone in my family bites you. I bit him behind his heart and it burned. I told him I saw nothing. I told him it is not me he is angry at but his two mothers. The rejection of the two was a misunderstanding feeling rejected over the color of his skin. For love and a misunderstanding. I told him he needed to go home. When I spoke to Kyle on the phone that was the first time it hit me. That I told him to go home to his mother and children here on this rock. Not in heaven.

The Rage/JP
The policeman after the interview said to me it was the most perceptive interview that had ever been given after a woman is raped. Then they open the door and curtain. Place a man at the foot of the bed and tell me I can't leave. If I leave I will be committed. You have no right to place a victim or someone needing healthcare into one of your institutions to label me and shame me some more. Never let me speak. This is not freedom. I was walking one day, I put my fist in the air and I yelled. He washed me off. No spilled seed. A person who doesn't bother anyone, cannot go on a vision quest of spiritual journey without all this ruckus? Without all these labels, and assumptions? Making choices for me that once again big brother they were never for you to make for me, this mother in the first place. When I heard the measurements of Freedom? Those two sets of three sixes. I laughed because that's not me. You see that is my X that this Justice System handed over my rights to. Yes you can't help someone until you have been there yourself. I will have compassion after Justice is served. I know one thing you are not keeping me from that man or my heart anymore. Some of us that carry those spirit animals inside our bodies, are the good beasties with heart.

Electric Eye/JP
The Bride? This bride shit really pisses me off. First I see a woman standing in that gold field surrounded by snow. First I see out of her eyes then I see down on her. She is wearing a white medieval gown with dark hair down to her waste. I already had those three black energies? The three black brothers are looking for a bride? My daughter was on that lot. It had something to do with love. I knew from a clearing I had done by a native woman that I had a red head above my head that sat quietly with her head down. She wore a veil and a wedding dress. I was told that I have a Irish Princess as a guide a long time ago. Then the church of angels and that bride shit comes up again. Then in the first couple months of being here I get slammed into two visions where I'm wearing white lingerie. I am surrounded by curtains and candles. I'm having an intimate moment with a man. By then I knew who this man was. I mean read Daddy Issues. In both scenes I realize where I am at and what is happening to me? The second one "Oh Big Daddy." Still both scenes I ran out screaming and tearing at my clothes.

Round And Round/Ratt
Then the Serpent? Then I see Kyle's marking? I loved it. Now I know. Yet my issue is that namesake still? I said to God, it's not you. It's not Kyle it's your namesake I have an issue with? Then Solomon's ring and only we have the power to lift the Gin? What happens when those fault lines shift God? Every time I talk to him, it gets beautiful. Then sad and heartbreaking. Hope soars then after a little while as I get closer to the Truth Hope falls God. How do I tell him this without sounding like I'm the big bad wolf standing at his door. I didn't want anything the first time I knocked, except to tell him the Truth. Everything has grown so much God. How do I tell him the Truth behind the burdens I carry? It's not Him. Not at all. It's all this. Who you are to me? Who he is to me? I admit I'm still a smig resentful that I think he's gonna get some kind of Highlander zap. Bam! He gets it all in one clean swoop. I have had three years and a lifetime of pain. All I ever wanted was Love and my family. Nothing more. Nothing less. To me it doesn't get any better than that.

Hollowed be Thy Name/Iron Maiden
I find him. It took me three years to accept this. How do I tell him? How do I tell him that someday, I don't know when, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year? I don't know when but someday we are gonna have to lift the Gin off of his head and clean up this rock? We are gonna have to take it back, so our children and grandchildren can continue on. He has the heart in him I see. The drive God I see that. I see why he was chosen. I always knew why he was chosen for the human race? Just not me. How do I tell him I'm the second coming? I'm the New Jesus Christ? I'm the 01 the Holy Mother back for her beasties? That he is the other half of me? I'm fire and he's water. I'm justice and he's balance. 

Forget Me Not

Joker/Eagles
It's been a hell of a couple of days. The discoveries I have made emotionally? Having to take four buses to Tacoma to pick up my pain meds when I haven't had any for a few days. Hopelink only covers rides to doctors. No where else. Like to the pharmacist to stand in line haggling for your meds. Only to be sent back to start. You can't see a doctor outside of this insurance and get a ride. It doesn't acknowledge pain, chronic pain or real pain management. It is just a game to run you ragged around that Monopoly game of death not life. More pills, pass the buck, pass the luck. The Crone is out full throttle on the upper right of my heart chakra then the day I had to go back to the doctor to pick up my meds, the lower left slipped out at the base of my heart chakra. It felt like two daggers right between the blades.

I'm Not The Only One/SS
With the inflammation from the surgery, this time it was like don't bump or jar me. The pain would go up my arms and right to the heart chakra. Emotionally I'm hanging by a thread. Ready to snap. I want out of this box. I want away from Michael. Not because he's a bad person. I'm tired of living a lie to keep the peace. I don't want him to touch me. I'm tired of being touched by a man I don't want to touch me. I'm tired of feeding this man love and light every day just to keep him moving. When I started this it was only supposed to be for a short time. Hell I didn't even live with him for over a year. I had my own place until that scam was pulled. Emotionally I'm done filling someone else's needs buying time, for them just to write this book.

You & Me/
Shed some more tears the other day, over those burdens that I carry? I got a flash of me standing in chains with Greg, my mother, Bob and Elaine all bowing with their heads on the ground. Then it started to sink in just what God did my whole God Damned life? He had them place their burdens on me any way they could to help me find the Truth. He literally had me carrying the burdens and blame slowly over time. God can be a sneaky bastard sometimes.

The Reason/Hoobstank
Then I remembered one of my prayers I said when I was younger? It was a prayer about my own family. The Truths and burdens they carry inside them. The prayer went something like this. "Place my families burden's on me. I'm younger and I'm stronger. I will stop this circle of abuse. It will not carry on through me." God has a way to stick me in a situation, to put in my true emotion out there in words, to make me pray from the heart. That is why JC was here for Love, that is why she sent her son in her form, to bleed for our sins.

She Will Be Loved/Maroon 5
Like the Hebrew prayer says, Hebrews 11:1-3. "Now Faith is assurance of things hoped for. Proof of things not seen. By Faith, we understand that the universe has been framed by the word of God, so that what is seen has not been made out of things which are visible." How can we have Faith in our higher power if we can't let go of the control, and let God? Whomever that may be to you. As humans anywhere it is only logical that we are not the highest beings. God, your creation of your own making, pulls that light out of your chest and you die. We have other beings and things that are trying to make us human droids, not human, humane beings.

Perfect/ES We are sinners and imperfect human beings for a reason. These people are not your judges to get through heavens gates. Neither is big brother that is making a living off from the human race in this United States of America. Lady Liberty is based on Freedom. This system is oppression. These are the oppressors with all their blanket laws and blanket blames feeding the institutions not humanity. We sold ourselves out to the wrong profit, not prophet. Not the creation of all those big books of hope. The end of every big book is upon us.

Women, Amen/DB
That United States flag represents freedom. Lady Liberty represents Justice. Today these two don't add up to what are four fathers whom came before said all along. This is death with all these taxes, fines and fee's. It is purgatory and you have buried the human race under with all these lies. Feeding yourselves. The elite and entitled. Not humanity. All any of you had to do, was be a good person. Carry yourself inside and out morally. A moral humane being with virtues and principals not judgment. It's not your place. Nor will it ever be. This mother wants justice. This mother is here to break all these chains that bind.

Whatever It Takes/Imagine Dragon/Evolve 2017
This mother is here to clean house. This mother is here to give humanity a clean slate, right along with their heart back inside them. This mother is here to clean house. Turns out I don't have to be inside to clean house. This is slavery what you did to the human race. Well big brother I got a big brother for you. Jesus Christ the God Son was here for Truth and Love. My brother carried the blame from the day he was born for this rock, and now it turns out my whole God Damned family is back for Justice. Weather you like it or not, this mother is the "Queen Of The Damned." It just depends what side of Love you stand on. I am sick and tired of this God Damned life I lead. Sitting in a box with a man I do not love.

Arms/CP
This big brother is not unconditional love and everlasting life. Evolution and transcendence to your higher power is intentionally being blocked by religion All these institution's and that revolving door of insanity. These treatment centers. Then we got Big Brother whom put a high price on sin. Using these institutions, and the pharmaceutical companies making it legal to shut down the higher beings to hide the Truth. Just because the are in a mental institution it does not make them liars. They look guilty because of our high cost of living and this one lane highway to hell with that H.I.P.P.A. form. The labels and abuse of just this. They have literally stuck their nose up our asses long ago. In all walks of life. Inside our bodies and outside our bodies. We have no civil rights. We have no freedom of speech. We no longer have the right to defend either. Hell you can't even defend yourself against someone with their accusation's without it ending up in court. It is now labeled as an assault a label, a civil case. 

Follow Me/UK
I don't know which way to go today, except forward. I don't want to. Like Kyle, I too am tired of walking through the pain everyday. I too am tired of being alone inside my heart. I want my life back. I want my heart back. Kyle thinks I'm rejecting him and his heart. Not true. I just want this over. Not a minute more apart. It kills me, that I can't speak the Truth? That this is much bigger than just you and I. I want to give him "all of me," like the John Legend song.

Let Me Love You/Mario
That Truth sword really cuts close to the heart. I don't know how much more I can take? I understood when Kyle said he almost thought about not coming back this time. It's not suicide, it's the loneliness. Wondering why am I even here? It kills me I can't say why do you think you look down when you stand alone with your coffee and your smoke? When are you going to wake him up to the Truth God?

Lips Of An Angel/Hinder
You make me sound like a martyr? I'll throw it all on the line for the Lord? My first song in fifth grade, "Keep On Trucking For The Lord." Yeah he has heart. A lover for sure. I just need him to thicken his skin for awhile longer. I'm the other A. I'm Armageddon. That is something I never wanted to be. That is something I never wanted to attain to be. That higher power, Vishnu the dancing God of death so we can all begin anew? The assassin? Oh God! What did you walk me into this time?

Bleeding Love/LL. Great is that your plan for me? I am the sacrifice. I wrote back in 2015 I'm not afraid to bleed for you? The white bull of the Lakota's? Salmon day's October 2015 when I sliced my hand with a razor, put my hand on the rock and at the end of the staff in that pit. I said the Lord's Prayer. Then I said bring it, mommy. Bring it daddy. You do remember this part when I said, "uh grandmother I thought you said not one more drop of blood? Then after I lifted my glove I discovered I had sliced a Z in the palm of my left hand. Not two lines anymore but a third to connect the two. Lightening bolt? The Thunderbird? I want it. Bring on the storm.

Arms Wide Open/Creed
One of my favorite songs that struck a chord inside my heart the first time I heard it. It is the same pose with arms wide open in one of the last photos taken of my brother before he died. It was the same thing Kyle did after we walked away from the red rock to talk. Marry You/Bruno mars. Red Rock and Mars? The war God, Ares is me. The Seraphim Angel The Fiery One is me. My angel has transcended. This rock this diamond belongs to me and mine. Turns out I am the poorest lil' rich girl ever.

Halo/Beyonce
Again after the fact. I get a flash to the Truth at heart. They do this on purpose. On one hand it's good because I don't behave unusual throughout my day. The shock, the tears, the laughter at times of the Truth.They get me alone, or I dance and workout in the morning. Playing charades with God, with my pad and pen. Always with my J hanging out of my mouth. I like being the oracle. For once I wish they would give me some advance notice when it comes down to Kyle. Then I can be better prepared to speak. Not just try and tell him what I do know so if he gets hit with something unusual, he will know the power he carry's inside him when he's out there alone. We are definitely stronger together than we are apart. How do I explain this? Oh what a mess you left me in.

Making Memories Of Us/KU
Then he has a skunk instead of a photo on messenger. Weed smells like skunk to me. I loved flower on Bambi. In my writing I refer to my weed as "eau de flower." On the other hand, my mother said after my brother died, that she got a white streak in her hair overnight. She also said she'd be dead by the age of 50. Look at my age coming up? The end of American Gods? JC and Ostara come together on Easter Sunday. April Fool's day or it could be "come what may?" I am the Joker and the Fool after all. My counterpart's name in these horror shows written today is Kyle. My mother is a seer. Little did we know she cursed me. Her predictions for me? I yelled up at God, please don't give me a white streak in my hair. I know how shallow and petty of me right. To worry about what they are going to do to my body once again? Like none of what they haven't put me and Kyle through has been with a gentle hand. This family does nothing the easy way.

Follow Me/UK
Last night scrolling through the channels? A new show called "Killing Eve." I said inside, "thanks guys." Then Lucifer, season 2 episode 18 that "flaming sword" comes back around. Like "The 12 Monkeys" wasn't enough? The title of the show? "The Last Heart Break." The name of the bar? "Adam's bar." The discovery of the Adam's apple? The discovery of that apple and the heart? Whom really carry's my heart from that garden? My mind keeps going back to that painting in Davinci Demons? With the little blue flowers called "forget me nots." My favorite tiny ground cover flower. Michael called me about three weeks ago a "forget me not," because I forgot my keys. When they said drinking from the cup of memory. I realized that is what they did to me? They not only took me back to my past, but all my children who have come before. All these mothers taking the hits all these centuries. Being a part of this family tree of life has been a royal pain in my ass.
Marry You/Bruno Mars
About two weeks ago I took a photo of a pair of mans shoes at the A line and lying right beside them was a blue rhinestone heart charm. 
What Hurts The Most/NB
My heart God. My heart hurts. I'm tired of knowing the Truth. I'm tired of carrying the burden's alone. I just want my heart back so I can say and mean it once and for all. You complete me. 
Marry Me/TR
I Never Told You/CC
Hallelujah/RW
It's snowing. 

The Highlander

Against All Odds/PC
Like I don't get this today? Having to stand against whatever the human race throws at me with all their fears? Knowing full well what it is that I am today? Whomever would want to be this? God no, never. Not me? To be the assassin the destroyer, the Vishnu God of destruction all so that our children and our grandchildren can begin anew?

Cool Change/LRB
WTF? Just what the fuck? Who would ever want to be the one to have to save my abuser's life?  Truth be told he's just a shell. An organic shell. A lie. The most inhumane being that roams this earth is your father? He is a droid with no heart. How do I convince my children of that? That your father is not real? He's a organic machine with no heart. Look at this mess they left me with? They turned me into the shrew. This ten back black family turned this mother into a shrew? Nothing that I am inside. How am to I tell my children their father is a sado masochist not only in that bedroom where no one see's but in all walks of life? That is what no one else could see is that he's not just hiding a crime he takes pleasure in my suffering. It is incarnate that hate and fear of me. That that was his true intent all along. To make a living out of all the gifts I carry inside me. To make a living off of me. To burn me out and all I ever wanted was to do was have my family and help others. This bastard's family I hate them today. Yes I hate you. Oh my mother fucking God how do I explain this? That I married the real deal and he is my children's father?

Rocky Mountain High/JD
Take your JD and your songs that I loved once upon a time and shove them up all your asses. How do I tell another man that universally certain beings want us dead? Others want us to live. Does anyone have compassion for what I have to go through? Telling my babies whom it is I really am? Standing over I-90 with my arm's out to the side telling my rock, my sunshine, "I'm sorry but this is your mother. This is who I am." The destroyer of your father? The destroyer of your grandparents and that ten back black family that they represent, so everyone can begin anew not just a few? How do I tell them I'm not just the God daughter but mother natures? The Holy Mother of this rock? Holy fuck!

Right Down The Line/GR
How do I tell them that everything I ever said was a premonition and Truth? Like when they were little I'd tell them everyday, "you are the apple of my eye, the beating of my heart, the air in which I breath. You are my mini mes." How can they do this? I'm bawling with my hands crossing my chest. Why does everything have to be so hard for me? My whole God damned life. Now this just to get back to my heart? What a test. For the past three years you have sent my babies all over Gods green earth. The answer to why their is devastation behind Mona Lisa is because of my dreams? Roaming around the highlands on my own.

Southern Cross/CS&N
Now I know why Kyle grew up in the UK and I in Renton Highlands? My schools from fourth grade up Highlands elementary, then McKnight, then the Hazen Highlanders. The answer to why I saw a viking when I looked at him? God Damn you? Then I find out he grew up there. Mother flocking United nation's, the UK? I've only been around the world in my dreams. How many nations have I been to God? Only to discover after going back to a dream over and over I meet a man? You said four years? We go down in a plane in four years? You bastards. It's been three yet it has been four in the changing of that last digit in years? How much longer? What more can you possibly put two people through? What kills me the most is that others have had it far worse, not just here on this rock. No they to have been alone walking through these dimensions alone right here and they either don't understand or others don't.

Stairway To Heaven/LZ
Now you want me to give my X back his life? He is unworthy of life. I don't care the injustice he put me through. My children are going to have to adapt to this Truth? I'm gonna have to put him down like the rabid dog that he really is. Their ain''t no saving your father baby girls. That when my angels and my guides said above me, we're sorry but he was deeper than we originally thought. That they were speaking of your father whose basic instinct is to kill your mother. That when it said in the bible he is going to make her sound crazy that is your father? Make her sound crazy and shut me down? Then it says it's a brother and sister this time? Yeah from that garden. It is more than that. It is much deeper. Their ain't a Catholic Priest high enough to save him. His body can't take that. My God have you seen an exorcism? The acrobatic moves and contortions they put the human body through? How can I tell them that in order to save mankind I have to let him go? He has to have the will to live and fight this demon. How do I tell them he was born for this? That he made his bed long ago?

Unchained Melody/TAC
NOOOO!!!! They are all going to look at me? It says clearly in the bible that this is between a sister and brother this time. It turns out it is between me and my X for this rock. This crown in order to save humanity. He is the reason for that man's two mothers that turn out they were twins like I thought. This is what I have to begin anew with? Because he's a sado macochist this is what I couldn't see but kind of see? His basic instinct wants me dead to steal my children. My heart and my soul. Yes today, you are bastards. No when that day comes I have no problem throwing down with this man. I don't give a flying flock if he's bigger than me. You aren't making and taking more from me anymore.

Pulling Push Ups/CH
Copy Halo
Flock your halo's.
Best Of My Love/Eagles
Kiss my ass. Now you add my soulmate into this mess? Whom already is carrying that universal curse and he doesn't know it? Do you know what is offensive to me? Why I couldn't just say the whole Truth? He like all these other men roaming this rock is only thinking of his heart. He says he wants me? What man wants a woman on sight today? What man wants a woman whom makes this agreement? That is what is so scary to me. Then he wants me to tell him how I feel and all he can talk about are planes, houses and boats? Fuck that. I have bigger fish to fry. How do I tell him all of his dreams are going to come true? That he shall receive whatever he wants. I can't change destiny, after our last conversation I don't want to either.

Island In The Sun/Weezer
I'm actually asking him to step up above it and look down from the bigger picture? The bigger picture he see's is his heart and not mine? The thing I noticed was he was asking me to give him not just the milk but the whole cow right up front?

Thank God I'm A Country Boy/JD
What because he doesn't see the whole Truth like the rest of the human race? Here let me quit my life whatever you think that may be and come and serve you and yours? Be left high dry and labeled. Like beef jerky all dried out lying in the sun? Fuck this. I don't care what you show me inside that man? My heart? Whom carries his? Me? This is exactly the reason why I was done. Between the high cost of living to survive, the high fine and fee's for any little mistake? This deep need to want love and Truth? When you have it you don't like it? Have to do your part? I'm done loving and getting nothing in return for my heart. Now you want me to save my children's father's life? The very life he stole from me? Why? You know God enough is never enough with you, this system, Job or Satan? I don't give a flying flock no more.

She's Gone DH&JO
I had a conversation with my own daughter at the beginning of this journey. My new little christian daughter just like Sue Noon and all of her Godly judgment? What are the rules to get into God's house? What are the rules to get to live under your rituals and rules to connect with my higher power?

Wonderwall/The Oasis
More slavery and rules to my higher power that it clearly states is inside you. She basically said to me "why you mom?" My answer shockingly so at all of her judgment of her mother and this God she prays to whom claims to love all of his children? My answer to her "why not me Kiley. I've had everything stolen. Why not your own mother? Am I lesser being of God because I don't belong to your cult, your club?" What makes me sad is "I even have to ask that to my own daughter?" That my own daughter from all this brain washing thinks this mother is so unworthy of Gods love?" 

Realize/CC

It was just her father and his family that convinced my children I am unlovable and that is just the way they treated me. I had my high school friends all those years. I never had to defend my childhood against anyone ever until this family came into my life. It wasn't until I came into this family that I was nitpicked and judged for everything I put in my mouth. None of this having to defend myself over choices and decisions that were my healthy choice's for me to make and no one else, but I married into a family of judges, deflectors, finger pointers and blamer's. The whole time they didn't take responsibility for any of their bad behavior. It just got swept under the carpet.

Peaceful Easy Feeling/Eagles
I'm Sorry/JD
Flock you all. It's to late for I'm sorry. Fifty years? You did this to me for fifty years? You call this love? I have to work for love? Like I haven't put my dues in?  I don't give a flying flock about my numbers or my twins. How could you do this to me and call this love? How could you possibly lead my children to believe that their father is love? How many years have I had to stand and listen to others tell me what a great guy he is? If I spoke the Truth, I'm blaming, minimizing, making excuses or lying. No God I still haven't been fed unconditional love. Just like my children. When you gonna get around to that? That promise of unconditional love? GOT ANOTHER POSTPONEMENT? A FEW MORE BEAT DOWNS TO PROVE MY SELF WORTH? KYLE HAVE A FEW MORE BEAT DOWNS TO PROVE HIS SELF WORTH?

Wishing On A Star/Rose Royce
Let Her Cry/J&TB

The Purge

Johnny Jump/Morrison's/JG&GS
That explains the Gaelic music yesterday which took me back to the beginning of this vision quest. St. Patrick's Day is back again. Another pagan holiday I enjoyed with my children. Back to my four leaf clover family I go. Back to those Irish roots they take me. You know that nice Irish girl side of that Catholic family tree I descend from. Just an old fashioned Irish girl. With old fashioned values.

The Bold O'Donoghue -Saddle The Pony/Sibin

It seems I have discovered those closest to me are not going to like this little mother and my Truth very much. I mean what was last years St. Patrick's Day, title? Happy Bloody St. Patrick's Day. Gee I don't know, could it be that P.O.L. I learned that day? Discovering who that black shadow really is? That faceless man I do not see in my dreams. Another answer to a question I put out there. After all the grief and pain this man has caused me how come I have never seen him in my dreams? He is the one kicking me in the ribs letting the sheep out of the barn. 

The Regular Army O/Mick Maloney
Back to that O ring I go. Literally so it seems. In more ways than one in all walks of life. I posted yesterday a picture of Kyles tat. Hoping and praying that this is the serpent I have to wrangle and laso. For once in my life can't something be easy? Noooo! I got the real deal to contend with. That black cobra underground. Cause and effect with this entity and Corporate America. That black oil pipeline working its way through my Lakota tribe. That black cobra insurance ruling our nation. 

Clancy's Wooden Wedding/MM
Noooooo!!!! It gets better my X is the black cobra from that Garden Of Eden. A sociopath and sado macccist whom will do anything to silence this little lamb. All for a crime he and Mary Stone committed 19 years ago.

Poor Paddy On The Railway/TP
Now its up to me and Kyle this mother that this family labeled the shrew, the whore, the mental case to cover their own failures. Hey you labeled me. Should of thought of that before you wrote off this mother. Hmmmm what to do with this family and their beasty boy son? Now I ask are they worth saving their pathetic spindly cowardly deceitful little souls? Will their bodies survive the removal of these demon's I picked up when I married into this Little Leave It To Beave family I thought I married into?

Marie's Wedding/The High Kings
This wedding thing kept coming up. I saw a black square on that cooking line. I knew one thing that it did not belong there. Then they took me back to all those dreams in church's on trains and one was on a boat. Somehow all the doors would get closed and some conversation would take place about a wedding? What wedding? Then I hear "he's looking for a bride." He needs a bride to close this four square, and I had that dream of three brothers, the wrong three brothers looking for a bride to close that four square. Here I am with a daughter that I just got a job in the same place?

Tell Me Ma/The Young Dubliners
Did I tell you that as usual they let me know this after I walk out the door. Just like every thing else on this journey. Then make it about my daughters, my children after I make this agreement? Talk about incentive? Talk about feeling like JC hanging on that cross? Yes today I have that answer why I tore that choker chain right off my neck and said "I'm sick of this cross. Get this cross off my neck. It's choking me this choker chain"

Armed Tribute Services/Semus Kennedy
Should I remind you on this journey I went to church because it was a Church Of Angels and I wanted to hear Patricia King speak? It was in one of my old stomping grounds growing up. Coal Creek Road. Talk about the discoveries that day? Talk about Eden's Grove and that garden coming back around? What's up with this God Damned garden? Then they bring up some things that kept coming up that first month? The alien's, the demon's and OH My Mother Fucking God what is up with this God Damned Bride thing?

Kitty The Rose Of Kilrae/The Irish Rovers
Then one of the speakers sits in the chair talking about some bride? He pulls up a chair and he sits down in that chair. Like that's his chair? Isn't that just my point you men talk about the man, the son, the God? I want to know where is that queen's chair? It seems we're waiting for some queen, some bride and yet what you think she's standing behind him? Just waiting to serve him? Is she sitting down at his feet washing them? Is she in the laundry room? Is she bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen serving up his highness' dinner? No you dumb shits that is just my point right there? The queen does not serve the king.  The King does not serve the queen. They serve each other.

No Hopers Jokers & Rogues/Port Isaac
They feed each other love and light in all walks of life? They are balance, they not only feed but they get fed from each other in all walks of life. How can they not being whom they are? Someone wants to kill them, one or both for the wrong kind of power. This is the first mistake you made between Adam and Eve. Between Jesus Christ and Mary. You turned the women into servants to the Lord? Weather you like it or not it is a two way, especially in this walk of life. This is where two people whom are committed to each other let their emotions go physically. In all their passion, in all their drive, in all that frustration each carried in their own way just getting through the day. The way this mother see's it, it is a healthy marriage. It is a healthy way to freely give and take right here.

Tell Me Ma/Gaelic Storm
To have the Trust in all that passion and drive that no matter what it is? It is private just between you two and it is for no one else to judge how we feed each other love. What goes on in a King and Queen's bedroom or in your parent's bedroom ain't any of your busy bodies beeswax anymore. You all need to get the fuck out of each others bedroom. How your parents choose to freely give each other love? Those whom came b4 you and brought you into this world? 

The Devils Courtship/Battlefield Band
You think you are gonna be the ones to rise above it and decide another human beings value? All they had been through in this life, including the things you do not see? The things this human being walked through their whole God Damned life? You think God and your Holy Mother would ever let you decide? Only the ones causing the oppression for the wrong power like this. Yet come judgment day you think it doesn't apply 2U and your own justice you doled out to another? You thought the meek?  It ain't none of your business this feeding time.

Preacher In A Pony/Boiled On Lead
Don't any of you take it off balance by using it as a solution for the rest of your lives or all that ales that bleeding bloody heart you carry inside either. Your all are big boys and girls you'd think you would of had this part figured out by now? No still even in our Government this is being kicked around and decided? Weather you like it or not you got bigger fish to fry. You are not just Gods flock, not just the Holy Mothers you are mother natures little beasties. You don't get to decide nothing about love and what sits behind that O'ring no more.

Tim Finnegan's Wake/DG
Weather you like it or not, you will honor your mothers, your other half of that heart whom ever that maybe to you. This mother is done with the games. If you can't follow the rules, then don't you step in that garden if you push to far and take to much? Don't you bother to step in the garden and play the blame game. Don't you put it out there and change your mind when you know its to late to go back on that agreement you made. You will just have to learn your lesson when put you put it all out there, then sale the other short? Your gonna put your truth out there from the start or your not welcome in this mothers garden to play. I don't give a flying flock whom you are.

The Roving Trade/The Irish Rovers
Don't you ever predator or prey on another child. I don't give a flying flock your garden or door. This is not welcome in any walk of life anymore. This rape of man woman and child is done. You got your rules. You little teeny boppers with all your raging hormones will get back into your own garden with the rest of all your other little raging hormones. We are going to stop this denial and teenage sexuality, the labels and the abuse. The value on it and how it has been abused is done, right along with children playing doctors and those labels. We are as parents are going to get educated about this. When it is okay and when it is not and what age these young little beasties really start to feel that hormonal push between?

Rambling Boys Of Pleasure/ The Irish Rovers
As the children you are done judging your parents and what they do behind closed doors. I promise you I am the queen B of this rock. Queen B, Queen Bitch. Babylon, that mother Bishop of those HOLY seven. So you the catholic church this mother is back. This Mary. I don't give a flying flock what Mary you honor. I don't give a flying flock what Mary you pray to.

Lovers Wreck/Gaelic Storm
I don't give a flying flock if it's Mary Jane you use to ascend, because weather you like it or not. This mother is taking this HOLY ROCK back from all you deceitful, sinners and judges out their stirring the pot. The Con Of Man is over. I know one God Damned thing that you don't know and that it is the mothers. It's always been about the mothers. Why the flying flock do you think the name of this rock is Mother Nature? Gaia? The yin and yang of balance. I know what you did? You used this rock, you fat bastards wearing the wrong white collar. I want you off my rock. You know what I have learned about white collars and the ones I like the least. No it turns out it's not just the one's preaching ego behind that big book.

Down To The River To Pray/Alison Krauss
No you see it's the corporate America white collars I like the least. The one's controlling all the money to stir the pot and create these wars. No good business for the economy than to create a war to take the focus off of what it is you did. You know who you fat bastards are out there? I kept being taken back to. Man and his machine right here controlling all the economy. The big Dick of the Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde behind the system IC right here? The control of the DOW and this stock Market created on marked up banking fee's on marked up loan's, on marked up lot's, all to build your marked up tiny boxes from the ground up.

Scolding Wife/Great Big Sea
Right here another marked up industry that stuck it's hand in the kitty. That insurance industry along with these carpenter's that came along and created itself in every god damned industry out there. Don't worry I know one other thing you don't? You don't own none of it. None of it. None of you. You created it all on lies. Right down to mother natures children's body parts. If that wasn't a huge mistake. You will now learn the lesson of if your mother ain't happy ain't no body happy.

Rocky Road To Dublin/The Dubliners
You put yourself in this justice system, you used the insurance again and that revolving door of insanity to pay for your marked up insurance. You put a high price on sin. Using your weakest people to feed these labels and these institutions all to feed you war machine. Your banking machine to wipe out mother nature. You rewrote the system when you made the lots smaller in cheaper shit houses, and now you changed the eye of the community.  Now the families have to send their children down the road to play? I learned this at Beaver Lake Park. Back to that beaver I go. All those beaver shots? I guess I have a name for that body part after all? Truth be told for such a playful mother whom looks forward to play time in that garden with my beast, I never had a name, but then again I am mother natures daughter after all. I can label it whatever I like from the heavens and those stars, right down to this rock, that belongs to me.

Loch/ Lochmond Ireland's
Now this mother has been rolling over in my mind just what it is I have discovered about myself in this family tree of life I carry on my back? For example that serpent? Whose and what's the serpent that I have to wrangle this time? Which son is it that this mother is here to save? 

The Dublin Pub Crawl/The Irish Rovers
Family, benefits, and the judge? My mothers right hand in the air? When my mother would put her right hand in the air, and repeat over and over "family?" Family like we're some kind of mafia or something? Balance my X's birth sign and Kyle's birth sign? Just why it is my family is back to take this rock back? Why we're going back to love and mother nature to feed our children in all walks of life? 

All 4 Me Grog/Black Irish Band
Their ain't no balance in this justice system. From what I have learned in all these history lessons going back, this justice wasn't built on a foundation of fair justice either. Just looking at it from this mothers perspective and just whom it is I married? I married Justice and for this mother to come back? For this mother to discover I'm here and that my whole life has been a set up all along because of that mother flocking garden and that mother flocking red apple that seems to be written in every folklore, and Disney show? That poisonous apple? That big eye in the sky? The watcher the brother? The discoveries that I'm the inoculation for all these institutions? Yup that's right I'm the Big A. This little Atom is the 01 and we are about to learn just how 01 plus 01 make three in this family tree of life I wear upon my back?

Shall I go back to those storms I was seeing in the beginning? Shall I take you back to that number 7? Shall I take you back to my brothers middle name LaGene? That would be the Lakota God Son. Now what would that make this little mother? Would that be the God Mother? Would the J that stand's above me stand for Jesus Christ or would it be Justice in this mother. You know if I am the creation of your own making well let's just say some of you I'd run. Yes don't think I haven't learned a thing or two from watching Davinci Demons and that family curse I carry upon my back that Ozmond curse? That if you don't repent to our God you will become another Martyr? You will be put to death, raped, sold into slavery we don't give a fuck? We will come in and steal it all, or off with your head it goes if you don't repent?

I have seen this story line over and over. How many time's in my life have I prayed for peace? All because someone else has the God the one and only name of God? From what I can see God has many names just like her son. Just like her sun. Why would any God or Holy Mother, your creation destroy the very foundation you stand on to feed your children everlasting life? Why do you see your other half as less than and unlovable if she doesn't become your servant and your slave? The other half of you that gives life. Your children.

The Raggle Taggle Gypsy/The Chieftains
God Damn You. You make me cry right here? How you have treated your mothers in all walks of life just with that ego alone is a disgrace, for such an advanced society? Right all you assholes filling my land fills with that revolving industry with all this technology? All this instant gratification that you think you need to raise and keep an eye on your children today? What happened to you? Ye have little faith in any higher power if you need this much insurance to live and protect? If you think you need all these cameras and all this protection on all these over priced boxes.

Long Time Traveller/The Jennings
Yes Elaine, my mummy dearest, Gregory Allen, Robert, yeah that's right I got my eye on you four right here? I've been looking at things from this mothers perspective? Just what I have put up with you, being the daughter? Being the daughter in law in this one hot mess that you four created? The way I see it I was the daughter and you were the adults in this hot mess all along?

Haul Boys Haul/JC&DW
I swear to all of you I'm standing in the center with my chains on and I am so done with this you have no idea? I am done with all of you? I am done with your judgment? I am done standing in the center of your fears? I am done standing  in the center of your label's to hide your secrets and lies. To hide your own crimes. Your own guilt and shame you carry inside your heart. For your own crimes of the heart. Talk about crimes of the heart? How your son stole it? Not this mothers. Weather it's of my checkbook, my heart, or my children I am finished with all of you. You are going to answer and atone, you are going to repent, don't you think either one of you whom have been doling out your own Justice to get this job done will go unnoticed with this mother come judgment day? Come right or wrong?

Whiskey In a Jar/DB

You were the adults? You were the one's whom have never taken any responsibility for any of your mental illness weather of the heart or mind? You on all sides have done nothing but lie cheat and steal to cover your own crimes, while you dole out your own virtues and justice on this mother? This mother is done. It is so done on both sides. You are all cowards. The way this mother see's it, you haven't repented and owned up to anything any chance you have been given. You have taken for granted, my forgiveness after your apology Elaine, and well mummy dearest you haven't even done that? When it comes down to either of you, grandmother's or grandfather standing on this rock, I would never leave my children with either one of you. Come hell or high water. Ever. Not one God damned, minute of one God damned day. You have never taken any responsibility for any of your failures for anything. I repeat, not one god damned day of one god damned minute any day, ever. I'm going to go down my list I'm going to dole back to you all my rage, of all the injustice I have had to walk through, sitting in my institutions and jail cells for the curse of that Gin I carry on that back?

Punch/Lunasa

Let's not forget about that curse I carry from that Mary Magdalene side of the family line? Hey let's not forget about the curse I carry upon my back?  The choice the Romans and Jews made to serve that gold coin to not ruin the party? Sound familiar Bob and Elaine? You know the day they tied my husband, my son up whom I sent down here to die for all your sins? Hey someone's got to carry it right? No better person to carry that you know the one Bob and Elaine, the one your pathetic piece of shit son married? I am going to go down just what it is you put this mother through with all your lies and deceit, as well as my children?

The Irish Volunteer's/MM

Don't worry you all it seems Alex reminded me yesterday that I handed her and Kai their first Dirt Devil too. We're just here to clean up this sins of thy father. Their father, My X, your son. Standing in the center of you four? Their is nothing Truthful and Honorable about either side. All I see is deceit and lies to feed yourselves? Don't you worry Bob and Elaine don't you two worry your pretty little heads? Sitting their in your Ivory Tower passing down your own Judgment and just how it is you used my babies in this hot mess you two created?

Independence Trail/Galen's Arrival/Alasdair Fraser/Dawn Dance

Let's not forget Bob and Elaine this mother standing on my side of this family tree of life I carry on my back, wrote in the beginning that my mother and my family is a filter to your little black ten back you carry on your back. You know your son and that curse of the Gin you all carry? The one that they brought the original Atom, the Original Angel, yeah she's got a name it makes me laugh this one, The Seriphim, The Fiery One. Well does that shoe just fit not only that marking, it fits this mother and how pissed I am at the lie and the illusion your family really is come Judgment day?

Greenfields Of France/The High Kings

Well I'm not even sure if it's worth it to me to even try and remove the number of the Beast off of your precious sons head. I mean a Beast, The Beast, The Real true Gin sits inside that little piss ant son you bore. The way IC it Elaine and Bob, you might of fed your little piece of shit son food. You may of taught him how to survive and plant a garden, but you didn't teach him anything else. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how your son behaved toward me like he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth? I mean from this mothers perspective you two came from nothing. That is just what you are to me nothing. Not when it comes down to my two daughters? Not one minute of one god damned day after the way you treated me to my face and behind my back? The way you disrespected me? The way you used me? The way you nit picked the fuck out of me?

Tramp Sand Hawkers/Old Blind Dogs

I will never forget my eight year old daughter, behaving more honorable than any of you three? Ever. As she sat there and told me of the weekend you spent together bad mouthing me in front of the two of my children? Sitting there planting your labels and doling out your own justice in front of my children? I never asked Kiley or Alex one question in all those years. I never asked any one of my friends to step forward and choose between me and him. Not because of the labels that were planted on my children. This behavior right here? Using children to make yourselves feel big. You poison the mother, your own daughter. Your own daughter in law, the four of you. Whom claimed what my whole life? I believe. My own mother made sure I attended every church growing up, yet she walked in one, in all those years? I was surprised as a teenager, that the church didn't burn down that day. You got lucky Casey Treat.

Fiddlers Green/Marley's Ghost

My mother as a teenager every time I'd stand up to her and call her out on her bad behavior, like the tendency she has to humiliate and belittle someone else, publicly even one its public because she gets off on being a bully she thinks its funny. I pointed it out to her and she told me I need therapy. I need God. Well Elaine the way this mother see's it you need therapy. All of you need therapy. After following through with the long term game plan to come back and live down stairs? For Greg and I after college to finish saving to buy a house.

The Mermaid/Great Big Sea

You remember Elaine? Just like that wedding in Hawaii that in the beginning you made it sound like ten people, then right before I find out 100? Let me take you back Elaine, right before we moved back from Sunnyvale California, you spring on me that you added two more people to the mix downstairs? My issue was no one knew her? Then you don't even bother to tell me she's bi-polar? All the while I had no issue with the bi-polar? I had issue with you? The way you handled it? Which was hand it off on me?

Devil In The Straw Hat/Tamlin

The whole time regardless of Christine not following through with the agreement she made with me about that Christmas photo, that I had already told her okay I will set this up. If I do you had better show up. Do not cancel and leave us hanging? I am not going to keep re-doing this if your not going to show? My point was her using work as an excuse to get out of any responsibility. Including that ringing phone that she wouldn't bother to get up to answer right outside our door all through the night? Let's not forget she had her own phone installed on the third floor and she still monopolized the home phone. When she went back to bed right after your custom Christmas morning champagne toast. Lets remember again Elaine, I didn't have alcohol in my house growing up and none of my family customs ever revolved around that bottle and a game? In both of these examples Elaine what is the common denominator and what is the difference?

The Other SIde/JD

Christine made an agreement with me and tried not to follow through at the last minute? Standing in Bellevue when we all lived in Renton late one night 3 of us are standing there waiting on her? We are out of time and I rescheduled it three times already. That is exactly what I reminded her of on the phone? Not my issue due to her being bi-polar or immature. Weather you believe it or not Christine and I got along just fine because I don't hold resentments like you do. I am a compassionate person. Whom only asked for anything from Christine no matter what I ask from anyone? It's called respect. You couldn't give it. You always had an excuse for someone else's bad behavior in your home. You would tell me to sit in it or I'm the one making waves? The one making waves all along is you.

Barrette's Privateers/Stan Rogers
Christine nor I could figure out the logic or common sense you had to move four people into two bedrooms and not empty the closets or the dressers? Then when we look in the storage closet downstairs we see it is packed full of garbage? Whom was left with the decision of having to go through someone else's garbage and decide what to keep? What is of value or maybe of value to you someday? You know what Christine and I did is we bonded. You didn't like that you were afraid we were talking about you. Yes we were. Once again not in a spiteful demeaning sort of way. Just like the conversations I had with your son, the conversations I had with my own sister, as well as that piece of shit son that you raised and handed off to me? It's called observation in the odd behavior and how things just don't add up? 

Tamlin/Devil In The Strawstack/Airdance
Mary Stone I want you to know as the mother standing in this hot mess that you just walked in and stole in 90 days. I want you to know right up front? I am not your saving grace? You are nothing to me? As far as your sons are concerned? Well let's just say from this day forward they to will make their own choice on any justice they think they are going to dole out on this mother for a crime you committed about nineteen to twenty years ago. 

I'm Shipping Up To Boston/Dropkick Murphy's

Red Is The Rose/The High Kings
I wrote earlier in this blog about how everyone is willing to come to God. Yet those that feel they are worthy IC aren't willing to take that those two steps to heaven. Those two steps name's are Alex and Kiley. I'm not going to ask what do you want on your tombstone? No, I want to know what kind of legend do you want to leave behind?

Misty Mountains - Song Of The Lonely Mountain 

This is just my point to all of you parents whom have come before me. You had your chance for a life and instead you chose to steal from me and mine. To late for I'm sorry. Don't bother. It is mine and Kyles' turn for life with our children. You whom have come b4 made your bed with me and mine long ago. It is you whom is unworthy to live anymore life on my rock. After that last conversation with Kyle, I fully understand whom it is I'm here for? That man, with love and light in his heart to feed our children, the good example of what a father and a man is. Well truth be told it is only him that I have for eyes. It is his heart I want to feed. I'm not wasting anymore of my time feeding those my love whom want to take my forgiveness for granted. At the risk of my babies? No thank you. I love all that I see inside one man. As far as I'm concerned this father and this mother have been through enough carrying the load of the parents whom come before. My heart belongs to him and no other.