The Emerald Ring

Round And Round/Ratt
Up since three and I have had quite an eventful day. On my way to Orthopedic surgeon, I miss the first bus. This is not the day for my back to run. This is par for the course. The next A-line 6 minutes early. It's going to be one of those days. Be lucky I don't have to go into a phone booth to change? I'd get lost stepping out every time. Hell the bus driver dropped me off in Twin Lakes. Every Mother Flocking time I get lost in this neighborhood. I have no beacon. It's a cloudy, no sun to guide me. No Mt. Rainier to give me some direction. The phone says go East. I am clueless. No highway and no water to guide me. I am flocked. Lucky I'm blind and I'm an hour early. Things just happen to work out.

Before  I go any further I missed four buses today. 

Southern Cross/CS&N
I get to the location early I sit down to light up before I go in thinking about the signs I noticed on my way in? One said, Amethyst. It made me think of the Amethyst I wore around my neck the last couple years of my marriage and after. Then the tears started rolling and I grabbed my chest, the reason why I always wanted an Emerald ring? The Emerald City and Seattle, the Evergreen trees. That is why I love green? All the different colors of green in the forest. Who wants a diamond when you have all these colors? For as long as I remember every one else made a big deal about the diamond ring, but not me. 

Sweet Child Of Mine/Guns and Roses
Sitting in the doctors office I started laughing at the doctors names? Clifford - The Big Red Dog. My friend Debbie. Red Head 5"10 180 lbs. Lost her life to another hospital getting away with their bullshit. She drove a tiny green car, with the biggest oldest red dog you have ever seen.

Dr. Cross, well that's a given
Kirk Douglas/Actor
Dr. Franceschina, Got two countries in that name, I'll take that.
Last but not least, Dr. Hunter. How fitting.

It made me think of my friends and the names of their children? Haden and Thomas, boy have I got a fitting story on these names. I didn't even know their was a Hades. Sierra and Aspen, then a Hunter. We can go further out and we Have Kane West and the name of his child, North West. Then we have Gwyneth and Chris from Cold Play and they named their little one, Apple. Talk about a calling in their own way.

Nothin But A Good Time/Poison
The last couple of walks I went on I saw a few different versions of dead black birds in my wake. It's been upsetting because I'm not sure what it means. Another neighbor noticed them too, plus I found a bullet casing.

Bad Medicine/Bon Jovi
Today I got some good news from the surgeon. Don't change what I'm doing. He agreed with my philosophy of keeping moving, not getting tight and locked up. He said "you need a chiropractor." You think? I told him about what the Physicist wants to do with the rest of my micro-facial tears along my spine and ribs. I asked if he thought we could try it in this area too? He agreed.

Rock Of Ages/DL
The tears and cyst are in my tendons and muscle going down layers. A couple other things, but yes, no surgery. Just a hell of allot of pain until God knows how long? My next doctor appointment not until 9/11. Back to pain being all relative. All I have to say is someone is gonna pay for this. Retribution comes to mind.

The Stroke/BS
Yesterday it dawned on me "hey wait a minute you guys aren't going to let me gain my Independence until this is done?" Isn't that just the mother flocking point of this? Back to the A's and B's I go.Your all Assholes. Then on to my B's. Your all a bunch of mother flocking bitches. What you don't like my A bombs coming from up above? Truth is me and mine from all the way up, down and around this rock don't like your's either. Flock you all. I'll be nice when this is done and over with this. Whether you get it or not, that family upstairs loves to yank my chain and send me into a tail spin.

I Hate Myself For Loving You/JJ
I can't wait for the day they let me go because DEATH, I'm coming straight for you this time and this mother will take nothing less than the whole heart. It's enough messing around with this half hearted bullshit. I mean isn't that how we got here in the first place? Half a heart.

Dreams/VH
Girls, Girls, Girls/MC
Paradise City/Gun's N' Roses, now who says God doesn't know how to rock? Just so happens that Illuminati sign, is the rock sign and my grand daddy's I love you hand signal. Then I'd get the peace sign and the O,K, sign.

Livin' On A Prayer/BJ
After I made the agreement to look crazy and did the Nameste bow, I heard don't worry, it will be okay.

Rocket/DL
Cum On Feel The Noise/Quiet Riot
My other great find today? A CD case that said "Indigo Girls, Shaming of the Sun. Then I got stuck at a bus stop in Twin Lakes across from a Hart Ins., since 1967. A fruit sign with a lemon, peach, strawberry, pineapple and an orange. The intersection I got stranded at was 13th place. I passed an Omni sign 336. Then at the end of the line written in big chalk letters, JC Loves you. We wonder why these crazy people do the crazy things they do? Who's really guiding them? Faith.

Jar Of Hearts

Record Year
It had better be a record year after the day I had going around with these guys? The second day after Michael got the left side of my rib cage to adjust, and day two did not like me none. It sunk in how long I have needed that part of my spine to adjust. It didn't matter how much I pulled and twisted my lumbar the pain couldn't release all this time because of those ribs right by my solar plexus. I paid, right along with my left wing kicking back in.

One Of These Nights/Eagles
On top of that I looked up the actual results, I mean what they meant on my MRI? Surgery? I was hot on and off all day about this. I did not care the outcome it's this date of 9/11/2017 coming around? Every year I do a spiral around this date and these headlines? The thought of fighting with one arm behind my back? For this fight? Future Trip?

I'd Be There/UK
Do you think? Still I worked out, no real drugs, I got heat and ice and I don't give a flying flock? I had to do my usual tirade fighting with this family tree upstairs?

Pass by Country Roads/JD I don't have it in me and now Faithfully by Journey.
Assholes, I can't write with my emotions and have to stop and keep going back to this bullshit. Earlier same station and it is kick ass, at home it this lalala love shit. I'm so sick of this love shit playing in my ears.

A few things sunk in yesterday that it was my Uncle Chambers who got me to change the direction of my rocks. True story. One thing Mummy Dearest mentions every time are the bag of rocks I'd drag under my bed.

After a few years you get used to hearing your parents mantra's. It dawned on me the conversation at the time? My mother as usual never asked me why I did this?

Without You/DC
Like Alex said, it's the right hand and you two? My mother would just go off in her tirade walking by me but never asking, just telling other people.

The scene usually went something like this. She'd be down on her hands and knee's pulling all the crap I usually stashed under my bed, she'd be cussing and swearing away all pissed off. Same thing every time.

Leave The Pieces/The WRECKERS
Out would come the bag of driveway rocks in whatever bag I'd get my hands on. I wasn't picky about my rocks, not then anyway. "God Dammit Colleen" there you go with these rocks again, as she'd go stomping by with her right hand in the air, still yelling on her way to the garbage can. After awhile my Uncle Marvin said "Knot Head I hear you've been having some rock issues?" It was news to me but okay.

Someone Like You/Adele
He got his hands on a rock polisher. Hell my Uncle had a huge garage full of this kind of shit. Old cool stuff, that's why I played in the attic and garage. He taught me about polishing rock's. He started out teaching me about different kinds of rocks. As it turns out I can still swing a bad situation into good one after all.

(back to present time)
Bless The Broken Road/RF
Then by the end of the evening my tirade winded back down into "Oh come on. Your God's for Christ Sake, you can just stitch me up? Do a little white magic with the needle and threads? Come on after all this all this work in rebuilding my tree of life, your gonna make me start over again? Your gonna lay me up and put me through pill hell? No mother flocking way, you can't put my body through another thaw out and re-build. I can't do it, I don't have it in me. I don't have it in me physically, I don't have it in me emotionally, to do this again and get nowhere. Please God, don't make me do this again. How much more can you guys put me through?"

Human/CP
I started watching Damien on Hulu. Thought it was time to see who this 666 bitch is? What is this 666 beast all about? The first episode and look at her name?  Another Anne. The other thing that I didn't like to hear was the word Trump? How many times have I said "When trumpet's blare? You bet I want this done. I see all to clear how this system with the insurance have repressed, suppressed, and oppressed all these homeless. The ones taking the blame and the hits from all families and all walks of life. No help for the pain, just more blame and hell. Your veterans, your disabled, your elderly. The rest landlord tenant and economy bullshit. Your family, your sisters, your brothers from all walks of life in those heavens. I kept doing that Sentry pace yesterday. The pace Antoinette pointed out to me that I do.

Just A Dream/CU
These people can't speak for themselves. They have no representation. The abuse of this over time pisses me off. The abuse and rejection and some with the label addiction, and the rest are assumptions from you, with all your blanket justice system wiping out humanity by the herd. Whose gonna pay for the liability for these people? In my country? Rage.

Don't you ever let slip from your mouths that these lepers carrying all your poison and your lies for this rock, that they are unworthy. Don't you ever let me hear out of your mouths that they could of done better. Don't you ever say to me what they should be thankful for. That I do mean. I'm sure that fortunate man that works with Michael as a delivery driver is doing his job for his health. To keep him motivated? Motivated to do what? Eat? Literally he walks bent in half and their is no excuses for what I am looking at. Nor is the homeless woman in the wheel chair that hangs out across the way, or her friend who cares for her.

I hope you dance/LAW
I watched a impoverished gentlemen today offer another woman his seat up front to another woman. Do you know why he was up front with the elderly? He had a wheel chair, a walker and a mother to take care of. When I see this, I cry. This man has integrity. This man is a man. I see respect and honor in how he treats another human being, which is more than I can say for some of you entitled younger generations. Don't ever let me here these words come out of your mouth when you speak of my family from all walks of life. The ones who had Faith that God had a plan for his flock and this "Lil Bo Peep didn't lose Gods flock like you think. I don't care what walk of life you think they descend from,

Village/Cam
(One more interruption and I'm gonna cut someone's tail off behind their ears)
I know one thing for certain? Humanity as a whole is making a living off this countries homeless. Let's pick on the weak and defenseless right? You feel good about yourself?


Make You Feel My Love/Adele
These people that you label have more Grace and Honor inside them because they had courage, they had heart. You take a look around our Nation and at all the other Nations that have been living in this hell hole of a life for centuries, right up that family line. You might want to take note that I said up. You wonder why God is back with His Sunshine this time? Slavery to the gold, the green, the food and all your electronics filling this rocks land fills. They created a industry out of humanities suffering in the treatment centers, justice system, the insurance, the banking system, the employment and the education system and all the mark up and high cost on all this, especially humanities gardens.

Whiskey Lullaby/AK
IC very clearly how we value not only the coin, but an object more than humanity. Look around you I'll just bet that business for this economy and this rock could be done allot smarter for all, not just you one percenter's and their minions?

Picture
You bet your sweet ass I'm watching Damian for some pointers. I realized one thing right off the bat, I don't have none of that dark energy moving around me. That old Crone his whole life? Flock that shiat. I did not find it hard to believe that the Catholic Church knows the Truth and handle's it's business quietly. They to are in the same position, the lower ones that have to report to the higher ups, who turn a blind eye to the Truth of whats going on. It's in every sect, fear. Others holding fear of God and damnation over your head. Hilarious they don't know all of it. No I have no Trust in this sect, I have Faith and Trust in God and that family upstairs, but not any one sect in this life.

Burning House/Cam
Not sure whats up with the seven daggers?  I get the impression that it has something to do with my childhood. Sleeping with my arms across my chest, feeling like those black things want to stake me in the chest. I'm not sure what is up with that Wisdom episode? I don't see any Wisdom in believing any dark energy in Satan's sect is going to be loyal? Keep his promise after all those years served? If I had to choose, I choose up, no matter whom is up, not anything from down below. YUUUCKKKK!!!!!!

Stay/Sugarland
Then I remembered Blasphemous? The Beast Blasphemous that comes up out of the water with I think seven heads and ten crowns. Where is it again God that all this blasphemous writing comes from? Then yesterday it dawned on me why I look to the water when I get lost? What do you think God, is that Beasty mine? I'd have to give it a yes. Yeah it seems God is playing both sides.

You And Me/Lifehouse
Ya know God, it's pretty ironic how humanity chose to see things from two perspectives? Considering all these different perspectives an how they really do add up? It's sad really how some of us want to sit and suffer instead of lift themselves up and out? Sure do talk a good game however.

I'm Movin' On/RF

Troubadour

Troubadour/GS
I'm sad. I'm tired and I am burned out walking through this health care system. It is exhausting. My new Osteopath couldn't get my lower ribs to adjust. I'm to flexible for that technique. She didn't even read my chart before she met with me. It was Michael that got that crone back to finally adjust last night. It was Michael who got the knots at the base of my neck down. It hurts so good.

Kryptonite
As I'm screaming in whispers, inching my body like an inch worm, trying to move away from the pain. I know I have to go through this or I'm stuck. I get locked out of alignment, then my muscles spasm, solidify and form the knots. Here I sit once again, between appointments and red tape. I just want a Chiropractor that can rack me and crack me. Not this passive aggressive slow process technique of a solution. I cannot wait to destroy those who put me in this hell hole. You want this mother to pay for your blind eye in any service in which I have paid? Never any help from this system. I am so angry for what you have put me and mine through. Payback is gonna be a bitch.

I couldn't find anything on television to watch the other day. I hurt and needed to wind down. I thought it would be a good idea to re-watch Bible Conspiracies. I got all comfy on my heating pad. I do three circles before I get things just right. I'm kidding. Actually in my own way, I do do that.
 
Highway Don't Care/TMcG
I had my purple blanky and little pillow ready to fall asleep. I think I've only watched this one once or twice. Hard to say because I don't sit still long enough and if I do, I crash. I think my body is still re-cooping from what ever intestinal infection I had. It was when my doctor said I had dark spots like gas bubbles on my left hip x-ray. I told her, I don't have gas. Is a matter of fact gas isn't even a symptom. It was when the doctor who did the procedure said, you have dark patches all in the lining of your stomach. Must of had it a long time. I know one thing, I didn't start out in this last go around of this poisonous apple I see inside me.

If I Die Young/TBP
This bullshit is all new and once again, I'm left to suffer. That's the whole point right God? You take your H.E.N. and all your service and labels it entails and shove it up your ass. The ones you give the worst labels, you give the least service too. Your mentally ill. Your disabled, your veterans and elderly you run and run them don't you? Making a nice living off of the weak ones aren't you? You politician's, lawyers, banking and insurance all made a living off your weak by creating a bigger healthcare industry. More schooling and less service. You allowed your schools to serve insurance didn't you? You passed laws to serve it using humanity all to make a profit off the wrong stock and prophet?

Say Something/CA
Finally got a pain contract, did the pea test. I have passed all my pea test with flying colors and their is no excuse anymore for this bullshit. Still told to come back. It will take 48 hours, it turns out it was back on Friday. I call back, I don't know what the next step is? The receptionist said, you have another appointment in mid September and another in October.  Even then I'm not even sure if we get to start the rinses in my muscles. This is what you get, I have done nothing to deserve this tree of life. This label that has been placed upon me. The fallen angel. You will see just how far I have fallen. Don't know what's on the other side until you've been there? I do remember. Five more days for this rock and you assholes got five more years? Nine layers of hell I sent you back in 2015, and all I had was my book of Angels 101 to guide me along. I didn't even know then their were nine layers, hell I'm better than I thought. Learn something new every day in this hard knocks school of life I lead.

Almost Lover/AFF
Touched by poison to create a new inoculation and yes it turns out I am exactly what you made me. A product of your society. Just like you did to humanity with all your war games because none of you grown up educated people can put it all together for the greater good.

Change Would Do You Good/SC
This rock, peace and serenity inside. I hate you all for putting me through this. Upstairs and downstairs. My angel's, my babies, my beasties, and just what the flock did you do to my rock? What were you thinking? Do you know what you have done? Do you know what you have created with all your oppression and suppression, which is just a fancy word for slavery. Slavery comes in all forms. Slavery comes in all shapes and sizes. You hold food, water medical and shelter over another human beings head and it is slavery. This system has lots of negative labels to place on you when you stand up and speak truth, or hell they just kill you and the whole damn lot.They don't care, your money is as good as gone. Gods not gonna take it because these assholes already control it all.

Like I'm Gonna Lose You/JT
I had been thinking about ISIS lately. I don't know who she is, well I didn't. Sitting here crying with my fist balled out to the sides, then my arms cross my chest and I cry. The emotions and all these honorable women who are here for me and mine. I didn't know anything about these ladies. I'd have to say these ladies are the big hitters.

Once You Loved Somebody/DC
I'm torn. I don't know what they want me to with all this enlightenment. I'm tired of others not knowing what they are talking about try to give me advice. Their is no service people. It's just a system. A machine of numbers. I'm getting that this isn't just the last throw down between the Angels, Alien's and Demons, it's the machines you all created and gave life too. Permission to run and rule this rock. Humanity is enslaved and I can't stop this. They have gone to far long ago and Gods been taking names and checking numbers this whole time.

Strawberry Wine/DC
Right at the beginning of  Bible Conspiracies it said two names, Mary and ISIS. Remember I only pick up stuff here and there. My little head and ears sprung right up. Then Acts 2:14, it makes me cry actually it's a hard day I recon and its only 8:30 a.m.

Loving Arms/DC
 "A VOICE OF ONE CALLING IN THE DESERT I PAVE THE WAY FOR GOD. MAKE STRAIGHT FOR THE WILDERNESS A HIGHWAY FOR GOD. MAKE STRAIGHT FOR THE WAY FOR THE LORD" Well I recon it started in the desert and the other P.D.L., I was wondering whose God this time around? There is my answer Mr. Big Daddy himself sitting down I-5, that rose line to paradise for this rock, I still don't know how I feel about this betrothal. I as a human feel bought and sold. After all the oppression and the labels placed on every walk of life trying to escape or make a change, to this Monopoly right here in my land of freedom? I do not think so.

Little Do You Know/A&S
I got my other answer too. Uhm!!!! I'm JC this time? Are you nuts? Have you seen the size of this rock? Then Virgo and the virgin? Me and Kevin. He is a Virgo, like my brother and father I believe.
Mt. Olive the fault line runs East to West. Started in the East and it's going to end in the old west this time around. You all have not figured out that JC was here for his mother his rock, is so ASININE. You mother flocking Idiots that think your gonna pull this shit off? It gets better.

Angel/SMcM
Assassin that will assassinate. Amir means 1995. Back to my panther pride, and this mothers cougar pride IC God. Includes the assassination of Kennedy's. Couldn't buy my families loyalty could you? Old Jews didn't believe JC was the Messiah? Wow! God sends his Son here for you, and you abandon him, and had Pilate kill him for you?  You couldn't figure out we are all his children, all his beasties? All so we don't ruin a party, selling all your bullshit and propaganda over that mother flocking gold coin.

 I Love The Way You Lie
This is the part that makes me cry? How humanity values an object over life today. Fear for survival in your heart? Whose hand have you been eating from all these centuries? Where did it get humanity God? Back to the beginning. Back to the same old fight. Over this rock, to feed humanity. Where's your faith in your Father, Your Son, your Higher Power that walks inside you. God sends you another angel to stand in front of you, whom put it all out there on the line for you all to judge?

So Small/CU
No finding out the whole story of the Messiah and this universe is me? Quite the quandary some moments. You all think you have problems. Today, I got bigger fish to fry. Keep moving.
ISIS and Horus, the Orion Star, those three stars and another Alex. I found my other apple from way back too? Appleoneuis. Yes God they were Jew Giants. Jesus Is the reincarnation of Elijah. My brother Kiley's Irish Twin. What's in a name? Volumes.

Gunpowder and Lead/ML
Sweet Child Of Mine/Guns and Roses, baby girls. Guns and Roses baby girls. You give it all you got. You bring it all out.
Longview/Greenday makes me cry. I hate you for all these tears in this family tree. Pay. Pay you will. Now stop holding me back God.

Want To/Sugarland
Come on "make my day."
Then yesterday this Hurricane Harvey, 30,000 lives? You assholes, look what you have done to humanity. I want you to remember what God said, you shall burn and turn to dust. Ashes to ashes dust to dust brother.

Cowboy Take Me Away/DC
Tin Man/ML
Your Side Of The Bed/LBT
Amazed by Lonestar
Here Comes Goodbye/RF
Iris/GGD
Set Fire To The Rain/Adele
Here's some food for thought, our animal kingdom, our domestics in life that chose to come here to this rock to help you. Look how you have treated them? Stop turning my carnivores into rabbit's.  Stop altering the animal kingdom. Stop abusing them. Stop hunting them for yo9ur trophies. They don't belong to you. They belong to my family and if you can't treat my family with respect and part of your pride, then get the flock off my rock. I don't give a flying flock what enterprise you come from, your bad behavior is no longer welcome here.

Wasted/CU

The Sky Mother

All Along The Watch Tower/JH
After I returned from the doctor's yesterday I was shot. I had to get my own ride home. Luckily I grabbed a bus pass before I walked out the door. Been awhile since I've done this ride and today really isn't a good day to keep moving. On the other hand keeping moving when I hurt is how I got this far. In the beginning I said something about "walking through the pain." Little did I know then that this was the plan. Acceptance and being willing has helped me through some days, and others it's the anger that drives me. My other saying, "I ain't dead yet." My pain literally is all relative.

Born On The Bayou/CCR
I know anger is a bad emotion for the body to carry.  Bullshit, I call Bullshit! It depends what you do with your anger. Does it drive you? Does it push you to keep moving? That is the good anger. The bad is spite, vengeful behavior. Being a bully to someone else whom you know is less than you in that moment just to make you feel better and bigger is wrong.

Lips Of An Angel/Hinder
It doesn't mean this human being is less of a person. It doesn't mean they are of less value to this rock. What do you think happens to these people whom walk up to these counters and they once again get rejected in society? How did they get here in the first place? Your treatment and rejection of other's you pious piece of shits. I can't wait for the day I get to tell you, "no you may not eat from this families tree of life." No I'm not talking to anyone standing on each side of these counters. I'm talking to the creations of this hot mess, that apparently I have been chosen to come back and clean up. I'm not happy about that either,

Come Together
Then yesterday, I stripped down ready to crash curled up on my heating pad. The television is on. Background noise helps me shut down. It's on Ancient Aliens. The answer's to my questions? I grabbed my pen and pad tired. Yet laughing. It's so funny, it's not funny.

These two "The Great Flood and Aliens & The Civil War" Yes, I needed a refresher and I'm having a hard time tracking the Presidents and these wars. Nothing like starting out from ground zero, literally on everything. In the beginning I heard the word Bush, I knew this had something to do with "the Bush'." I just didn't expect it to be my bush that's at stake.  The White Stain on the black dress that came my way. I knew it had something to do with "the Clinton's" It's washed away don't worry.

Cover Me/The Boss
I hadn't a clue whom Freya was at the time. As far as ISIS is concerned the only ISIS I knew of in 2015 was the war. I had no idea their was another ISIS when I heard the name standing on that oil can saying "The Lords Prayer and singing This Land IS My Land." Then of course the oil pipeline running it's way through a Dakota/Lakota tribe. Thirty people to stand ground, one a pregnant woman attacked by dogs. I am so sick of this Shiite. All your illegal backroom antics and it's now in court. Truth is it never should of happened in the first place. They as in this System, wants humanity to stay separated. Tribe by tribe. Mountain by mountain they try and stake their claim. Well boys that's what I'm here for.

Something To Remind You/Staind
I do not understand how humanity can turn such a blind eye to your rock? I watch these shows I get pissed at the illusion and lie that Mother Nature can't put out. Mother Nature is right here. This System slowly over time tied it all up and took control, to create the illusion that we are meant to go live on another rock? Judge Judy, here's to you. "Your IDIOTS." That felt good.

I Won't Back Down/TP
Ancient Aliens and their documentaries are Truth. Not all of what they see, but remember the Egyptians and other life forms were here first. Those souls did not die. It kills me this is still labeled Myth. It's absurd people. Atom, the creator, then Atum, then the Adam's family do we ascend. As long as you have love and light you have a place in heaven, it's that simple. It's what you do with love that counts upstairs, in your home and that animal kingdom in the sky. It's our kingdom people, right along with this rock that feeds you everlasting life.

Wish You Were Here/PF
Not the droids, not the banks and not the heartless machine. I want the cloud gone. It was never meant to be on this rock. That I do mean. You as humans, letting machines control you, are here to experience life in all forms. Not to have a system and machine keeping tabs on your character defects. I want the droids gone in camera and human form. Not on this rock you don't. It is a humane rock with us, human beings. Can't be imperfect human beings experiencing heaven on earth with a machine controlling humanity.  I know we are just shells, but as these shells, we are human beings needing to be fed humanely. Do not litter up my rock with your machinery and garbage again. Don't you ever label my humans and beasties as garbage again. Don't you ever try to replace or overthrow my human beings again.

Beast Of Burden
"Mt. Hermes and The Watchers", my tribe too. Not as mad about this family branch today. I guess I'm the Hermit in this story line, this time around. Undercover Angel. Hope locked in a box. Yup, that's me, The Truth Seether. Yeah!!! Now get me out of this box.

How can I explain this? Let's turn it around, We are the one's being played from the outside in. It is written in these books of hope all across the globe we are not the highest being. In prayer and religion we pray to a higher being. That is what I mean Sloth comes from out going in. Your Truth is the light inside you.

Cherry Bomb/JM
We placed higher beings in the wrong box from lack of knowledge and education. The whole plan is to shut down the human being from evolving, through the ego in religion, misdiagnosis/labels and pharma. Kill off the planet with the machinery and garbage. We created blanket laws and blanket insurance to feed the human race. Purgatory and Hell's creation on my rock? I don't think so. Your partner is not less than in Gods eyes and they shouldn't be in yours either. That one is lower, the other higher? Just the challenges and unrealistic expectation in that? This system likes it. This mother does not. Teamwork and village people. It's not the organics that cause the schizophrenia and it's not schizophrenia, its your guides, your guides are the Angels and other beings. We are not the highest beings on this rock. You can go as high as you wish, don't destroy humanity and other beings.

One Last Breath/Creed
The man whom ingested the bath salts, here in this Washington? It's the synthetic poisons in this, that brings out the wrong primal beast in the human body. He started eating another human being. It is the synthetic drugs and food creating the poison in the human body. It brought alive the primal beast that we all carry inside us. Here on my rock, you behave like humane beasties or you can get the flock off my rock. In the long run we become dependent to the poison.

Night Moves/BS&TSBB
It's the buildup of all the synthetics in our organs overtime.It's the poison and the anger that brings the emotions of the primal beast inside the human body. If human's had already known about this we wouldn't be here today. They used Manson and the murders to create the wrong propaganda on the wrong drug. He was mentally ill. Anyone whom thinks murder is an awesome solution is not a healthy being. We are not mentally ill, we are tired and oppressed inside and out.

The Night/The Boss
It's hurting us from the inside out. The human body is overworked, over stressed and overtired. That is why all the uppers, all the high caffeine and sugar drinks, littering up my rock. It is keeping our human bodies suffering in one form or the other. If this isn't the other C.I., IC Criminal Intent and murder at, mass production. I am angry about this. All across the globe.

The Midnight Special/CCR
During the Civil War, soldiers reported seeing George Washington's ghost guide them in the right direction. Yes, back to the apple I go. I knew this had something to do with this Washington and well that Washington. When I was a lil' girl when I looked at the Bishop family line especially my Grandma Lily, she looked like George Washington.

Sweet Home Alabama
Abe kept seeing two faces in the mirror. One old and one young. Hilarious! Mary Todd as well as the other founding fathers, including Ben Franklin believed in a polar universe and that they got their information from higher beings. Now before I go any further, you cocksuckers, you know who the flying flock you are, good luck thinking I am an illegal Alien on this rock. Neener, Neener, Neener suck my big wiener. I found something else that just lit my fire? Another P.O.L. yes, I feel empowered, her name "Sky Woman." I call her "Sky Mother" because of her description.

Free Fallin'/TP
Kiss my Lily White Ass those that want to kill me and mine off. She is described as "The Mother of the first human beings." Abe Lincoln insisted during the Gettysburg to still create this statue of a native woman on top of a dome shaped building. She's carrying fringe blanket over her left shoulder.

Savin' Me/NB
Yes! Why is there a blanket over her left shoulder you clock flocking sons of bitches? You Idiot Beings from higher up didn't want humanity to know that the man is on the left, His Son (not yours) and the female to the right. It is the Mother Of All Mother's whom has the right hand of God. No mothers, no bread of life, no milky way to feed you and all you lil' beasties IC inside you. You think you've seen Bridezilla? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Pink Houses/JM
Whose your mama now? I freely admit, I gotta lil' black in me. Feelin' a lil' cocky, struttin' my stuff. I'm thinking because, it makes me cry, Rosa Parks, I haven't had an actual introduction. This isn't racism God, it's oppression. God your such an Asshole for all this. I might be nice to you when this is done. Don't think I didn't notice all those storms bouncing across my screen. Hilarious! The storms a brewing.

Wild Horses/TRS
Let It Be/Beatles
Against The Wind/BS&TSBB, Bring it Big Daddy, I'm ready to dance. The way I'm feeling today, to destroy this being with the wrong plan. I will dance on my feet. I will dance on my knee's. Hell God today, I'll even dance on all fours. I'm just a making of your creation, Big Daddy. Tink, dancing in the land of giants.
Hotel California/My Eagles
Jack and Diane/JM
Far From Home/FFDP
Born To Run/The Boss

LULB

Beast of Burden

Wednesday I walked to the A-Z discussing with God the power in His power. One Atom ,one neuron, how much power is that? I mean he is the creation of this universe, this rock and one tiny particle of God's power is allot of power. That's allot of energy. I'm angry about this.

I caught my body reacting to his touch at my left shoulder. I'm pulling forward away from Him. I know how childish right? To Him and all His power I am a child. I still don't know why you can't just come in me like you all do, and do what you all do? Why all this? Remember I'm the vessel of all this glory? It's not everyday I just take off toward death. I mean I was wondering how all of a sudden "I'll get the demon" off I go no fear, just a bit wigged out at times. I know names, the right words and just what to do. "Me? Are you nuts?" Then I just walk away and forget. On to the next step. No worries. "Who does that God?"

I still feel jipped, I feel Jimmie rigged. The set up and the man here, I'm still pretty angry about this part. Something came up about unconditional love. I turned around and I said "no God, I don't have unconditional love. Remember I still haven't met the "terms of my agreement." No God your love is not unconditional to me and mine. How do I explain your unconditional love, when I don't have unconditional love God?

I mean as a human being in my position of course I'm thankful. I mean whose the higher being? Not me. Yeah you bet I'm thankful, it's just a soar spot with me.

Two bouts of cancer, Seven and three all red heads? No problem? No problem God? I went down my litany of names for His precious son. His Highness. Always the precious son God. Flock his highness and all he entails. What's my nickname going to be for this one? Greg's was Ass Wipe. I can tell already this ones nick name isn't going to be far behind.

Then the song came on singing in my ears, "I'll never be your "Beast of Burden". Bullshit! I call bullshit" This book alone is my beast of burden. I have printed about five hundred pages to start proof reading and get it back in the correct timeline. This is huge. A huge amount of paper and information and I don't want to lose it before I can downsize it. What do I do with all of this? I feel fire, I feel rain God. I see a big storm coming down the pike. This book is a heavy load and well God you and yours as well is a heavy load.

I'm ready to go drop this load of BULLSHIT into somebody else's lap. I don't want it no more, just get this burden off of me. I'm ready to just stick it all in the mail with all my journals and ship them the flock out of here. I want this done God. It has been an emotional couple of days.

I had an EKG done on my tendons and muscles. The doctor told me what I knew all along, that you don't have a neurological problem. You don't have damage to your arm muscles. You don't have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome either. As she told me the good news on my right side, the tears started to flow. Their is still hope, and all these years of doctors being wrong, treating me the wrong way with the wrong drugs, or just turning a blind eye.  My return ride didn't show I walked around bawling my eyes out for the next couple hours. All these years and it was such an easy, and less costly solution on all levels of my life. It is not okay with me. Most chronic pain sufferers should have something like this done so doctors can treat the right issue, the right way instead of playing guessing games on someone else's quality of life."Hey, we all gotta do our part right God?" Mother Flocker's, the whole lot of them.

I have discovered that yes, pain does ascend from my spine but it was the pain that ascends from there, then stops on the outer edges of my lower ribs and back muscles. Do you know what these pain spots and knots have been all these years? Micro-fascia tears in my tissue. My new doctor with the solution isn't available until Mid September and I can't wait. I'll just have to keep moving until then. That seems to be the key here. Keep moving today to keep the pain away tomorrow. It's not an exact science but it's all I got till then.

Pray Tell

Thank God I'm A Country Boy/JD
Mother Flockin' Pandora at it again. Playing the same mother flockin music on quick mix. Yesterday on Quick Mix I started skipping music. The first of many advertisement's to sit through. Then it pops up and said something like

Just When I Needed You Most/RV
"if I don't like my station I should try a new station." It was on Quick Mix playing the same station once again. My God how many more thumbs up can I do? I have a life, all this B.S. making me feel like I'm picking when I'm really not has got to stop. Stop and start is all you do to get music today?  How much more time wasted to not get interrupted to listen to music? Telling me listening to music at high volume is dangerous." So is interrupting me on my time. The old days turn on the radio, yet now you have to have a hook up and hook up. No matter where you go for all this dis-service the customer is always wrong. Since when? I mean how much longer do these corporations think they have anyways before me and mine shut them down?

Groovy Kind Of Love/PC
I recon I still gotta a little baby sister side of me still. Another one of my lovely family nick-names. My mother and sister would call me this, when I called them on their shit growing up. "Lil' Bitch and Pray Tell." You know God this has been quite the kiss and tell. You know that double innuendo stuff you did in your writing? (I am sitting here in my box that my Father so kindly placed me in, and every light is on. I still can't see shit, including my key board)

What It's Like/Everlast
The way the versus match to certain numbers and dates in my life, as well as others around me? Keys to the code is sitting every where out there. In all these proof of life's, I fall into each day. After the Joker card at the A-line I found chocolate Easter eggs and then a woman on the A-line wearing 4 inch ruby reds on her feet. Someday right God? I'm tired of these conventional shoes I sport each day. Someday God, I want to deal with polite congenial people in the customer service industry. I would like people to be pleasant at these front lines, and if you can't use the word "please with a whole body attitude and tone mister A-line, then I have this to say, "their are plenty of people out their whom like working with others, they understand in the customer service industry it's not all about you, but all about that customer that stands in front of you. Leave your attitude at the door Mr. A Line.


Lonesome Loser/LRB

Another Love Song/UK
I don't care the color of someone's skin. I don't care the hat they wear nor the colors, I care about humanity and the customer service industry. You don't want to do your job with humility and Grace serving others then get the flock off my rock. I'm sick of this industry forgetting whom the customers are and well Walgreen's I haven't even started with you. I wonder why your other Corporations serve this State Insurance Poison Apple of a health plan, why don't you service it? The state insurance, the ones your other corporations make a living off of humanities internal organs?

 This IS My Temporary Home/CU
What a profit you make, charging the customers to pay your insurance and fees. You charge your franchises for cash, and we pay the fees at the A.T.M. for all your cards to go in my land fills. Hell the cash value isn't worth the paper its made out of. You can't take this garbage with you after you leave this rock. I want you to think about that. Making the ones whom work the front counters responsible for the keys to the code to your bathroom doors. You make them feel guilt and shame for your hungry shop lifters when they walk out the door. What is persons job when working with customers?  It is to give that customer their undivided attention at the cash register, not to have to say hello to another customer whom walks in the front door. I am so done with this B.S. I am done


Simple Man/Shinedown
You other Pharmacy companies why is their only one person working the counter, filling prescriptions and answering the phones on a Sunday? Why does the richest industry have closing hours during lunch? Walgreen's after what happened to me on Veterans Day, walking in with only a tablet and pen, pricing Glucosamine for the Attorney General, and as I'm walking out minding my own business, I had a scruffy looking homeless man standing right next to me in a very open space.

I took out my head phone, I asked may I help you? He asked if he could help me? I said "no thank you I'm good." I put my headphone back in and continue walking and writing, I realize this man is still next to me, I took out my head phones again, I asked "may I help you?" He comes in close like he's got some secret and he said to me, "your not one of them thieving people are you?" I said out loud "who are you?" Now Mr. A.G. I ask you, how could of this man in security whom was so suspicious of a woman taking notes, how could they of handled it differently? I mean being in the service industry and not the harassment industry. Don't put me on the defense anymore because you lack integrity in your business practices. I want the locks off the library, and the fast food industry doors, as well as any other corporation which makes a living off humanities suffering.

Wide Open Spaces/DC
I want them off these DSHS and Work Source doors. You serve humanity, and you provide a service to lift people up, not make humanity feel guilt and shame for something you created with all your BJ"S. I'm tired of your Dutch ovens, I'm tired of the allergies and the poison in our air while you lock up the stuff we need to breathe all under the guise of addiction. Now humanity wants out of your system, your institutions. Your treatment centers that I had to sit in, the most demeaning circumstances just to appease you? Their is so much abuse in these institutions, in your mental institutions and your labels. You get humanity out of the box you have placed them in.

Burning House/Cam
Just because all you lettered ones sold out humanity feeding your greedy pockets from up above while you make these homeless people in this United States to take the blame. Their ain't nothing I can do about your system and this judicial system selling out humanity, feeding the wrong stock. A machine. I can not help it that you put humanities eggs in one basket all the while you think your safe, You think it will never happen to you two E's I see running humanity. Yeah that's right your Egos and Entitlement. When I heard a young woman on the ID channel say, we go to this college, we are rich we are unworthy to be raped." Who the flying flock do you think you are?

I Hope You Dance/LAW

Let Love In/GGD
I wrote this yesterday sometime:
How can anyone know what love is? How can you judge unconditional love when all along in each cult and club you not only suppress and oppress Gods love, you boxed it in and placed a high value on love. Your sisters, your mothers, your pack mules, that humanity has taken for granted over the centuries. You can't put a price on love. True love from the heart, is freely given and freely taken. It does not have strings, nor guidelines.

God I want the word brotherhood gone, I want it replaced with family, Truth and Honor. Human beings and other life forms are not trophies to posses, they are gifts to share. To cherish and honor each other. I want humanity to have technology. Smart technology that will not create so much garbage on this rock, or the mark-up that is created to build a machine for all, not just a few.Another machine to upgrade and go in my landfills? Who's really paying for the recycling fees for all you corporations to re-create the wheel over and over? I ain't waking up and being left for dead in another land-fill that's for sure. Had enough of those sequential dreams.

Bring On The Rain/JDM
It's what I saw on GOT, the valley of the dead coming back and humanity doesn't understand what this next war is really all about? I don't believe for a minute my family and my God are putting me through all this to lose. You got Love, you got courage, you got God.

American Honey/LA
When I saw on one of the Documentaries on the History Channel, I believe the one with Sudam trying to rebuild Babylon it was the Aliens showing up after an H Bomb going off, they like the angels came and tried to keep the radiation under control. What makes you think all these entities want this rock to die? We are sitting in the middle of one of Gods creations.

White Horse/TS
This rock this universe. Imagine my surprise to discover that God has a brother. Got that clue from the twin planets in another universe, one labeled the evil planet, then all these mythology movies from different sects in this universe from another dimension, another place in time, to discover they really do exist. To discover all the Truth is out their we just allowed another system over time decide what is truth and what is a lie. The worst discovery of all is to discover that the beast is my X, the children of my father. How deceptive of my family and what a predicament they put me in. Thankful for them and horrified for my babies at the same time. All that deceptive brainwashing with the use of his wording. Been there done that. He's had long enough to decide. The Truth or that fake money tree?

A Thousand Years/CP
Yes, I understand how humanity feels to discover that Satan is real. Living in my house, on my rock? My Saving Grace is their heart. The discovery that Cain had a Son, my brother God took from him because this one had heart. Knock Knock! Who's there? My brother Book Of Enoch.

She's Everything/BP
Yes, IC you have slowly over time killed off different branches of this T.O.L. You created the illusion that it is all a lie to shut humanity down and drug them up, carrying the burdens of the truth inside them taking the blame, all to create your buildings, your technology and garbage on my rock is no longer welcome. That H.P.P.A. and your blanket justice, and wars to create purgatory for another human being is no longer welcome. "You may check in, but you may never leave." Only in religion and this justice system do we want humanity to suffer an keep ya' coming back. No longer welcome. It's not justice, nor is it freedom. I am an individual and I will be treated as that and so shall you.

Don't Take The Girl/TM
All your middle men working out front and behind the scenes to keep changing the industry is no longer welcome. Doing a business that holds a character defect over another humans beings head is no longer welcome. You are Gods flock, and as Gods flock we are imperfect humane beings and you corporations all working hand in hand to keep this going, to keep humanity off balance is no longer welcome on my rock. You are no longer welcome to provide the poison and the cure, your no longer welcome to decide the fine nor the time for an injustice you created. Making a living off of all the bullshit that these beings created to destroy mother nature and her beasties is no longer welcome.

Without You/DX
If you have issue meet my Ma. Ma'at she's ready for justice. Hey what can I say, I put my faith in Karma sometimes too.  No more pushing against the grain and working both sides to make a living off of humanity. It is no longer welcome all you blanket justice that you have served up over time? It's now your time to all lie in your bed of thorn's. You see all you whom have an issue with my Lady Justice, I want you to remember whose tree of life you have made a living off of all these years. Hey, Its just business, you understand? Family business.

If I Die Young/TDP

Hands/Jewel
This other discovery is a hard one for me some moments. The discovery that yes, I did raise my right hand and volunteer for this. To marry my other brother from that garden, how much longer do I have to suffer God for that mistake? How much longer do I have to live a loveless life? How much longer living with a man I respect and love, I'm just not in love with?  How mush longer do I have to tow this line alone? Where is my heart God?

My Favorite Mistake/SC
Don't try to butter me up because its not going to work God. I miss my babies, but I can't live a lie and be someone else they want me to be. I am whom I am and they are me. I set the standards. I feed my babies. I can't help who my family is, learning too God because you are there and I'm here, I can't be the one that hung on that cross God, or am I? What the mother flockin' difference does it make anymore?

Village/Cam
You could of just downloaded me ya' know. You didn't have to draw this out. Hell I learned to tell the difference at things that were different an the same on Sesame Street. Of course Walt Disney matching the personality with the beasties, hilarious. More Truth in Walt Disney and the show Grimm than their is in some of your books of hope, because this system didn't want you to know that each sect in each it's own way speaks the Truth buried down deep. Is it so bad to believe in everything and all? Is it so bad to learn that their are more to you than meets the eye? We all have different character's inside us, it's what triggers them through the heart. It's just one of the many secrets that the powers that be working behind the iron curtain don't want you to know.

Jar Of Hearts/CP
Just a Kiss?LA

I know one thing, this entity/cult/club wants that bomb to go off. They want this war so we can blame each other and kill each other off. Look at our President, he was already vetted and he is being used as a ploy, while we watch Him twitter away they created another game to keep humanity busy. Gotta keep making more garbage to keep humanity entertained? Those spinnerz, more garbage to go in my landfills IC.

God Speed/DC

Who Will Save Your Soul/Jewel

She Will Be Loved/Maroon 5

Sinderella

Sinderella, that's what I am Sam. I'm angry. I'm hurting. My heart hurts. I had to prepare my body for a colostomy this morning. This just made me realize once again how sick society is with all these allergies and poisons in more than one way. The garbage in our bodies, and our land fills all because of the preservative's fillers, and G.M.O's. humanities septic system, filling our minds with pain, lack of nutrition (affects a human bodies over all health) to the internal organs causes pain. The poison of the fillers in our hearts, minds and bodies, all ending up in our landfills and whose paying a price for that? Humanity that's who. Our jails and mental institutions, our criminal and civil court system all making a living with humanities suffering. Whose paying all the fees on all this markup on services? Your bottom feeders whom are no longer worthy of food unless they go hunt it down. The production of this garbage to get a hint of your mothers essence poisoning humanity. Then we put a high price on mother natures essence. I'm feeling more enraged by this everyday. When our bodies are suffering on the inside and off balance of course we go off balance too. Mentally and physically. This system boxed humanity in with your insurance, your middlemen mafia determining the value of another human being is wrong. Morally wrong on all levels. Your system figured out a way to kill of humanity, Gods Flock by poisoning and using our burnt out internal organs to cover an industry. The middle men whom is on duty 24 hrs a day, that's who.

I ended up on the couch in the early evening. I can only be so busy in this box with this book for so long. I'm not liking the TV shows some day's. The names, the number's, the titles and well the topics. I mean look the Conjuring of Annabelle II. Then I see it in saved movies Sinderella. Yeah I know it starts with a C, but not me. It seems I can't even have a conversation about boy's, sexuality, and marriage with my youngest daughter now. It's not a conversation, she calls it boundaries. Since when does a mother not get to speak to her daughter about this? I have realized for years any topic a mother should have with her daughter, Kiley says boundaries mom. I missed out on everything else because of your justice system and my sociopath X determining if I'm even allowed to have an open conversation with my adult child.

My X's word before was blame every time I tried to even ask a question about his lack of emotion and behavior. Now he uses with my children boundaries whenever I ask a question nor have a view point from this mothers experience to share with my daughter. I have discovered I have some stories, walking out on boy's and young men. I tried sharing with her my virtues and boundaries when I was her age. That even though I wasn't a virgin, I didn't just jump in the sack right off the bat with any guy.

After awhile you discover, "oh yuck, he's disgusting or just we aren't a match enough for a hook-up. Nothing wrong with having a friend, and that is a issue today too. What constitutes as a friend today? Male nor female it don't matter to this mothers heart. I had to ask myself once, what if my daughter dated a black guy? In my family I had to have answers to this. I knew instantly, whom am I to judge that, whom makes my daughter happy. I mean her mother native/Irish, a Heinz fifty seven myself, my babies well this family lineage keeps growing every day through this mother. My answer was it depends on the person and the family.

I can't even label an nationality when I look at another human being. We are all products of our society and when I look at someone I take them at face value. I don't judge a book by the cover, whom wants to lock themselves in with an attitude like that? You cut yourself off from learning something new, good or bad everyday. Of course I notice the differences. The colors of skin, the markings, our tats, our colors, a humans expressions can tell you allot of a persons experience in that moment. I'm so fed up with this race card. It hurts me it creates distension.

Marshawn Lynch, at first I was angry that you wouldn't stand for that flag. Your right on one note brother, it's the oppression. It's the suppression, its the compression and the stress we place on another human being to survive today. None of it adds up at these counters, nor anywhere in this system. It is a tool to shut humanity down. This insurance and banking system is destroying humanity. It is feeding itself. It is using the bottom feeders in this United States. Hell that seven year timeline for anything to fall of your record for a misdemenaor today is a joke. Right along with that Cost of Living 7 year's to climb that ladder in order to afford to survive, its a joke.

The depression from the twenties is this H.C.S. way to pay for itself with the label of depression, while they stress you out. If we are such a stressed out society then why do you allow all this advertising bouncing up on every screen today? Ding! Ding! Ding! Bing! Bing! Bing! Makes any human being go bong! Bong! Bong! They don't like that bong solution either, just the anti-depressants and the barbiturates to shut you down and label you. Then yeah! Another marked-up recession. Humanity falls further and further behind. You keep changing the industry for the last five generations haven't you? Creating more machinery and garbage on my rock is wrong.

Fighting your wars killing humanity and its gardens is wrong. All to feed humanity poison is wrong. This system backed up a bank but not humanities farm lands. So Marshawn Lynch, this mother is going to ask you to stand for that flag again? Take a stand against this O.S.C.D.R. for this mother land. For all of humanities freedom. Lets put freedom back into that flag one last time for humanity, for this rock. Lets get rid of the race card. Lets bring the human race back. Lets bring the human race to the fore front. Lets stand for Freedom, Family, and one God ONE FOR ALL. This God never left he is in your heart. This rock wouldn't have energy if it wasn't for him. He created this rock, this universe to feed mankind, not just a few.

It seems Kiley's church and her God are going to choose a husband for her. That these young women are going to put there faith in God to choose a husband for life. One sex partner. Isn't this how we got into this mess in the first place? This unrealistic expectation we place on God? Yes, God chose my X, and the irony is not going un-noticed to me. Not by a long shot. I am not a mother to encourage her daughter to have sex. It is up to the individual. Mine are like night and day. I see it from both sides.

I said, isn't that what every woman is doing when they get married? I said, "Kiley, I belonged to several churches growing up. I went to per-marital counseling alone, I went to one on one counseling alone to prepare me for any issue that comes up, so that I can have a healthy way of handling any situation. Just because I did not belong to a church it does not mean that I did not have Love and Faith in God to do the same for me." That is why I chose to get married outside. Round-Top Park, Waikiki. A view of five main attractions. Another five, am I cursed? My other daughter took things back that she made for me. To find out my own daughter is part of a cult to create oppression, suppression and more compression on my young women in society. Using Gods name to suffer in marriage is wrong. More potential for S.O.C.D. with no help without heavy guilt and shame for walking away from an abusive situation is wrong. It is this issue I stand against not God. It is the creation of the lie I stand against.

She tried telling me what the bible said. I told her no Kiley it does not. It say's God does not want you to be unhappy. We seem to forget that another verse say's as husband and wife we serve each other. Man and religion created the suppression not God. It also says a woman may divorce and marry again and humanity forgot that too. We are mothers and we have the children, as parents we serve and feed our family as well as each other. It is not a job nor is it a role that keeps you in chains. Human beings change. The timeline we give our children is wrong. It's like you must do this by this age. The system and religion created the oppression together. My list is long on the oppression on women but I'm not going to keep going off on what humans keep doing over and over to our selves and each other. It was a creation by Pope Greg the first to cut Eve out of the Bible, make your mothers as unimportant and less than. My issue to is that we moved this into our politics right from the start. These bastards not only cut out half your heart, they created the guilt and shame in the human heart.

1,2,3,4 Plain White T's
God is a celestial light and an energy. He is our creation he made us all in his likeness and essence. Our Kingdom of heaven is inside you. You carry two parents inside you as well as Freya the fertility Goddess and ISIS. JC's families are a descendant of Egypt after all. Then the brother JC. God and Mother Mary's Son. That Son represents that sun in the sky. That Son/Sun is what these bastards are after. This Rock they want right along with this families Sunshine that feeds this planet love and light. Their have always been two working together hand in hand. They are ready to feed you again. We get our animals, our beasties from the constellations we are born in. We all carry our animals inside us. It's these shiny stars that these bastards are after.

Santeria/Sublime
Then I watched Sinderella, as she goes down the stairs in that dress making an entrance for her so called prince. Fuck that shit. No mother flocking way. No way God. I don't want that. Some man has to come in and save her from her oppressed step mother who made her a servant? I asked Michael to make me a sandwich to take with me to the doctors. I hadn't eaten in a day and a half. We are walking out the door and I asked him where's my sandwich?

I lost it in the taxi.  I lost it in the entry to the hospital. I said, "I cannot believe someone made you responsible to have to feed someone else. Oh yeah Michael that's right, you didn't. I did. I fed you, I fed your children, I cooked, I cleaned, and you at fifty-wonderful can't think or even here me say, I'm hungry. Feed me. You can't do it. Looking back Michael, no man could. I even cooked and cleaned and fed my friends children and not one time, have any of you ever fed me. I am done with you, and you wonder why I want out of this relationship. I am stuck, living with a man I do not love and I am not attracted to, but I have to make the best of it yet again. For me to learn, I did not put myself here, but this system did.

The Joker/SMB
I let that new doctor know, I am fed up with you doctors talking to me like I don't know what I'm talking about. This is my T.O.L. and I'm taking it back. This new doctor shook my hand three times. He knew I knew what I was talking about. I told him these two things are fixable, T.O.L. pain can be alleviated through exercise and adjustments. He is checking me for nerve damage at C4-C5. Finally, two and half years later. He did not blame me for not wanting needles stuck in my spine, until I know whats going on. He thinks he can fix that zap from C4-C5. Then C3 acts up with sinus migraines. It's when I read which disc affects what area of the body, and those disc, paraplegia and loss of use of arms. What makes me angry is that in an accident, you can look that up and see the potential long term damage that can turn into if not treated proper. We believe in keeping up the blood flow everywhere else in the body, except the spine. You allow the insurance to harass injured people to shut down the claims.

I laid in bed last night crying myself to sleep. It made me realize it is the word kindness. My whole life I have been a kind person. People like to take advantage of kind people. Others like to tell you their idea of what they think a kind person is. I am so done with all this bullshit. I hate being stuck and living with a man, that I tolerate. Whatever he was supposed to get he didn't get it.

I told the nurse "that for 8 to 9 months I had to piece meal food with my medication down me." She wondered why not check my stomach? I told her her the doctor didn't take me seriously when I said, how tired I get. I lie down for a nap at noon and I don't wake up until 8p.m. I lie down at 5p.m., I wake up at midnight. It's been like this since last spring to summer. The doctor came back in and said "we need to do schedule you for an upper GI." Is it such a crime to keep my stress inside my stomach? I could think of worse ways for my body to re-act to stress.

The lower GI, two polyps. Then he said you have these red patches, and I think you had a infection in your intestine, you somehow cleared it up. Then after I had to listen to some driver and another passenger get off point and go off on a rant about scheduling, blah! blah! blah! I looked at them and I said "not even the point of what  I was trying to say." I am the fucking customer. I put my head phones in while they were speaking and I turned it up.

It's Not My Time/3 Doors Down
I don't know if this has anything to do with it but my last blood moon 7 days. This had better be the end. Michael looked up at the full moon and said "aren't you about due to start your blood moon?" I said, "how do you know when I get my blood moon? It's always around the full moon." Sure enough this last month seven mother flockin days. I just want this over. I want it all over. I am angry after watching Sinderella. After all this and I need a man? Are you flocking kidding me? Who would ever want this?

The word Queen popped in my head last night. I'm angry about that in more ways than one.

I hold onto the song Kiley and I loved, we'd belt it out together.  Queen/We Are The Champions."

From A to Z IC

From A to Z IC
About a week ago walking to the Transfer Transfer station from the Urban Bush I took a photo of a green delivery truck. It was a wine truck from Oregon that had one tree with two stems, and up above in big letters it said, "From A to Z. Yesterday morning I didn't feel like music, turned on the T.V. and it was on the History Channel, Ancient Aliens all day. I needed a refresher.

Back In Black/AC-DC
I kept thinking it's all this mythology that is so confusing. Just because I meet them does not mean I know from where they descended from. It's the malevolent energy that I watch for having faith in God that he's not going to introduce me to anything that I'm not supposed to meet at this point.

Right now it's the Greeks and the Egyptians. All these Deities and Folklore's are killing me in this history lesson. Who the flying flock is who again God?

Spirit In The Sky/NG
The shows that came on yesterday went back around and taught me a little more. It was getting hot, the power went out. I can't sit around, it is not who I am. Always moving and if I don't keep moving, I'm gonna pay. Everyday at some point I have to get on this white log. Gage my pain, stretch, extend and hold. My goal is to keep the channels open. If I get a snap, crackle, pop just from stretching then it needed to happen. It's my tree of life not this H.C.S., anymore.

Rock You Like A Hurricane/Scorpions
On Thursday Mike was off. I did my walk in the morning, I get to "Oh thank heaven for 7'11" in the same lot as "Kings Cleaners" there on the ground is a white feather with light grey tips, I should of known it was going to be a dancing day and in this heat. All along on my walk my music is playing. I have a hot pink lighter in my left hand, a feather in my right letting the music move me. Talking to God, I get to my half way point at Mikes work, stick my white feather in the pocket of my sky shirt, grabbed a smoke out of the same pocket, light up I look down and there on the ground, a large black feather. I realize I'm standing on a white diamond shape with a dot in the middle, one line one top, one on the bottom, Here comes my dancing feet, it was then I realized God really did have a plan from A to Z. Mike's work Auto Zone.

There I stood in the morning sun dancing my feet away with my black feather and hot pink lighter. The music playing on shuffle, Rocket Man and this is my calling. My P.D.L. My dancing feet.

Walk This Way/Aerosmith
Astronomy/BOC
Have You Ever Seen The Rain/CCR
Hot Blooded Foreigner

Crazy Train/Ozzy

The Ancient Aliens I watched, Past Prophecies Of Iraq, Alien Devastation, The Doomsday Prophecies, Alien Power Plants and Mt Kailosh, Aliens And The Red Planet. I moved throughout my day with the television on, I fell asleep the the Dahli Lama. the Tibetans, beliefs in the reincarnation of souls and beings. Their it is what I have been saying all along, "our bodies are but shells of who we really are inside. I am a vessel." I am comprehending and learning this "one with all", right along with my dreams from my past lives or other dimensions. Only learning a few months back that at the end of these dreams, I meet a man.

Rainbow In The Dark/Dio
Sitting here this morning wondering where to begin I found a site that compared all the mythology names, again. I'm reading through how Horus is the Son of Osiris and ISIS. Horus is the "Great Egyptian Sky God of The Sun and The Moon." Osiris was murdered by his brother Seth. Any of this ring a bell? He cut up Osiris body into 14 pieces and spread them out. ISIS gathered her husbands pieces and re-created her husband. Osiris parents are Ghet and Nuit. then I realized "Atum the Father is a descendant from the nines. At first I thought "oh shit, that ain't good. Not for the asshole beings trying to destroy my rock. Then the tears started to flow, looking through these names and how we are all related throughout times. "This is my family tree God."

Rock and Roll/LZ
Looking through these names and discovering more sisters and brothers whom were wed or cohorts. EWWWW God! Not again. All these in-breads in my family tree, still trying to adapt to this myself.
Apollo- Sun, Music, Healing hands
Ares- Mars, Aries, War, Red planet, twin hills with the Sphinx on Mars. All these Anna's and Mummies are descendants from the Annanaki's.

The Joker/SMB
Atlas- Carried the weight of the heavens on his back. This is the disc in my tree of life that that demon dog, who hit me with rocks like fist. He straightened my TMJ right at the beginning of this journey. Then I discover the name of C1 is Atlas and he shifted that back into alignment which helped my migraines immensely. It was when I went back to the Chakra's spiraling down my tree of life. These Chakra's depending which Hindu spirit you follow names of flowers, mountains and the solar plexus helps humanity connect universally. Then we get to the heart of the matter. Keep ascending up to your voice box. Boy what a curse I've got. The voice chakra and the third eye, this is JC's cross of life and where his head hung. He along with this father own this animal kingdom right down that T-zone of life. In the beasties, and well my honey bee's sweet golden nectar.

You've Got Another Thing Coming/JP
Ra- Great Sun God/Doesn't another religion call Ra, The Great Sun God a demon?
Bat- A fertility Goddess in the form of a cow. Isn't their a religion that worships cows?
Iris- Goddess of Rainbows. Maybe I should be nicer to my family in my discoveries of all this proof of life.
Bast- A cat headed Goddess. Didn't the Catholic church rule the Titans bad because they claimed they were worshiping a cat in private?
Geb- God of earth/Gaia neither male nor female energy. She just is. Like an angel, she is also her own spiritual being.
Priapus- I like his role God. I like his characteristics. I just hope it's a family trait. My first staff went to Kevin's belly button. Imagine my surprise, "wait, let me look again. Where did it go? You mean they aren't all like that God? They come in different shapes and sizes and I have to adapt?"

N.I.B./BS
Ma'at- Another Ma, her role Justice and Law. You dumbshait's in your justice system serving a machine and wiping out humanity. Vultures of my rock. Ambulance chasers trying to make a dime, some just look real good doing it. Meet my Ma.

Ogdoad- another branch in my family tree, another eight IC.

Zeus my big daddy IC, you were quite the player. Quite the man whore spreading his seed. I ascend from a real naughty family tree, but what am I going to do? It is you humans whom set the standards on human behavior not my family. Zeus my big daddy had three for three on the sibling line. Three males and three females. Then Zeus had nine children from six women. Poseidon (poppy seeds, Oz, deep sleep, a sand man of sorts, the nursery rhyme "Ring Around The Rosey" coming back around for what you did to the Jewish in those ovens)  is the story line I watched when the demons came into his restaurant and started sniffing around. I knew then that is why I felt like I felt inside T.A.? That demon sniffing around me trying to take me out. If I had something in me he couldn't spot me. It was that heavy weighty feeling, the smell of the fecal matter and the oil. I couldn't see the computer screen. All those times different stages of awareness I had each time I returned, just trying to do my job.

Another Brick In The Wall/PF
His trinity of three his two brothers Hades of Hell and Hermes. Is this the three I have God against the three brothers I watched in my dream? The one with a cul-de-sac of three houses and three brothers, and the land next to there's a barn full of children's bodies. Stayed in a Motel the middle of nowhere knowing I was being followed. The end of my dream, standing in a house with a man and a woman, one was on some kind of board with the city, but it was the rest of the dream trying to protect these people. I knocked one out, tied him up and put him in the basement, but I still had two more.

More Than A Feeling/Boston
Selene- I loved Selene the moment I read about her. Luna is "The Goddess of the moon and vampires." The blood suckers of humanities energy. Working two to three jobs to pay rent. All these corporations and affiliate's with no S.O.S. (Service On Sales). Always wanting more energy from this planet with all this technology running. Keep humanity running and always hungry. Needing to survive.

Geb and his Twin Nut. Of course the female's name is nut God? Who drives us nut's God? All these nut jobs I get to walk through. The high cost of nuts. The labels we placed on the nuts in these institutions to shut down higher beings. Label them to shut them down, and pay a insurance. Suppression and oppression. Turn them off, so no one will notice while we slowly take over your rock. God I'm getting angry. I want all of these Angels, my family to fall from heaven.

Born On The Bayou/CCR
Nineveh- Now known as Iraq
Annanuki came here seeking gold.

Nike- belongs to this family and on my right twinkle toes I have a pink Nike emblem on my lace. I learn something new everyday.

Aah- LMFLAO! Another five God? Aah and Thoth were playing a game of dice which is another word for die and well Aah lost five days off the  Egyptian 360 day calendar. My family, gotta love them. Brothers never stop challenging each other.

Ramses- the second descendant of Osiris. Another Ram in my family tree.

Panama/VH
Atum- I love this description God. Another version of the bread of life of which we ascended from. Atum is the creator of the world who began life as a single hill emerging from the water, created the other God's from his semen. Not the big bang theory, yet it is a symbol for Eve, the dust and Adam's rib. You God the creation of all Atom's are an energy over all these alien races. Humanity like religion, Science, and the Government. I mean all of you across every nation and land are not the highest being on this rock. Not by a long shot. Truth, yet humanity will take it as a threat.

The Dragon is the Monster at the top of the constellations. I strong armed Michael into eating out and sitting in this restaurant, I look up and on the ceiling is a circle. I see a bear and other animals. I looked at Michael and said. "okay Michael this is a strange location to see this, what exactly does it mean? He explained that at the end of the big dipper that it's the tail of a bear and that these are the four constellations to the four corners of the earth." Michael couldn't believe I didn't know all this
stuff.

Welcome To The Machine/PF
I explained to Michael that over my lifetime I just start to learn something about myself, or I get the knack of something and it all systematically over time kept getting pulled out from underneath me. I only get a chance to learn the concepts of how things work over my life. I went onto explain that astrology is different from all these constellations. Part of the same system that works as one.

Fool In The Rain/LZ
Right down to all these big books, and the four religions of Hinduism, Buddhism. Judaism, and Dowism. Then I got all these man made religions with all these Johns to figure out, using the wrong kind of power, God's word versus sin? It makes me cry in the beginning, family, brothers, doors, and sisters, and all I had to work with was the "Book of Angels" to guide me. Hell I had no idea what the 3,6, and 9 even meant. Biblically no, but I bet I figured it out.

Then I come across something called the Codex, references the numbers 1 and 0. I got a zero and one for you assholes. Aten or a one you pick it's all the same to me. No one owns the keys to the code to this kingdom except me and mine. I got all my numbers from zero to one and no other number from there matters to me.

 Astronomy/BOC
 Not my issue you dumbshiate's couldn't figure out we are a planet. Sitting in the middle of a universe and you think we are the highest beings? It is clearly stated everywhere in all these books of hope and death that we are not. I mean come on people, I recon the ones at top controlling everything want you to believe that. Like time before the O.T. didn't exist back then. None of those original souls from this rock, all those animals that were here first. We are all descendants from the animals and those animal constellation in the stars.

The Boys Are Back In Town/TL
Hey you want to be a star today, all you got to do is get your own reality show. Become famous, so entitled that you think you can go to court and get a legal document saying you own the name of your child and no one can have it. I have this to say, God owns the names of the children from this planet to the stars and I don't give a flying flock what any legal document in this court say's. Just because that document says it is so, it does not make it true. No one else can have this name, try telling God that you entitled flocks. Shape up, have some respect, have some grace and humility. Only religion makes you entitled right along following the wrong kind of stardom and money tree.

Creation of the Mayan calendar, how it ended in 2012, the difference between these two numbers and today is my other five. From beginning to end, in this lifetime I started in a five and it shall end in Camelot, my other five. I love this name, it's another cleaning place called Snow White Cleaners. Five days in that "Valley Shadow of Death", five pregnancies. Alex was born first "One half of my heart, and then Ki came and I was whole. Aten. God and my flock of angels have had to make this mother stronger than the son. His ten. I also figured out why that is, I have a trinity back up in the sky. That other five? When Walmart shut down five stores without a permit and used plumbing as the excuse. Really God?

Feelin' Satisfied/Boston
First born, un-named son, gave it back to God. I was not mature enough I felt. I did not want to repeat history in my family tree. I wanted to be as whole and ready as possible. Then my first born, Alex, my rock, my five, and my lucky number thirteen born opposite the 3:16 hour, that hour of the dead. My Grandma Bishop in my room all in purple at 3:16 a.m., The hour of the dead. I noticed Alex has mine and Greg's jaw, yet she has a heart shaped chin. (I went to fix a type O and the word chin was twin) yesterday it sunk in the photo I took of Alex on her travels standing in front of an alien display with her arms wrapped around. It's her pointy chin and those dark beings standing in my room. Definitely Alex's chin.

Then number three Kiley, who spoke to me from my womb during a meditation class. My light whom pretty much has dedicated her life and her future to God. So confused about boys, sex, God and her future. Get my baby out of the Convent please God.

Number four was my brother Todd. Miscarriage his name Elijah Todd, so he could have a peaceful name. I knew at the time it was Kiley's Irish twin and I was so heart broken over that. I had just accepted I will be stuck in a rocking chair in a nursery with two children at my feet. I had just accepted I was going to have to man up somehow. Do it once again with an emotionally absentee husband then I lost him. It was my energy drain that concerned me. I felt drained, not unhappy drained and deplete.

Dust In The Wind/Kansas
Then J.J., I wanted my own Jimmie Jane. I wanted my own lil' birdie, like my cousin J.J., but not with this father. He couldn't open his mouth without lying. He provided debt, that's what he provided. I did not like how he manipulated his daughter to get his way. I did not like that he allowed her to break rules at his convenience. I didn't like how he talked about his ex-wife with whom I always had compassion for because of her own mother. This is not a man you ever want to be the father of your children. He cleaned out my accounts and robbed me blind. Not caring about my own babies, all he cared about was his image, and his ego. He felt justified for his lies and actions and that man just in another way stole and destroyed my things that were of value to me.

Heaven And Hell/BS
Jim was a twin, his brother just another John. Jim worked at one of my brothers prison's along I-5, where his ashes used to be in a mausoleum. It was my grandfathers funeral that I walked over and placed one red rose.

Book of Jaguar Priest 13 and 9 Gods came to earth. Apocalypse/Armageddon, end of days. I see this entertainment industry has made a mockery out of Armageddon. We as humans hear and see it all over in the entertainment industry we have become immune to it. I mean really all these "Zombie and Vamp apocalypse movies?' Just another aversion from the Truth. Yet it is the Truth. Everyone being shut down and drugged up in one form or another to numb our emotions and this system does not care. They plan on collecting all that they can until then.

D'yer Maker/LZ
Tesla's murder so humanity stays enslaved to a system paying for electricity.  Newton and the apple, gravity. Gravity has a good place on this rock. However the curse of the apple comes when all the apples here in Washington, this Emerald City are poisoned. All because these aliens wanted to turn our food into a synthetic to poison us while they buy up and control all of this rocks resources. The Sheeple. God's flock is enslaved still.

Cold As Ice/Foreigner
I knew when it started out it had something to do with Washington. I kept seeing President Washington, only to discover I keep confusing two fathers. Einstein and Newton. Einstein and relativity, it turns out it is all relative and we are all related.

On The Run/PF
Jeremiah and the crying prophet. Has something to do with the people whom all of a sudden laugh and cry. That and the two polarities of having a mother and a father inside them. I'm going to kill this industry for all these lies God.

Babylon/Tower of Babel.

Zeus's Nemesis is Typhon, the God of Monsters to take over Mt. Olympus. Look where my Attorney General is located? In Olympia on Cherry Street. The rainbows emanating from the North to South Pole, that Rose Line in the Davinci Code goes North to South. Divine is that me God?

Godzilla
You know God, I don't even know where to begin on my tree of life with the Attorney General? My tree of life as a whole? How I have literally been stuck in a system medically and judicially who just like these corporations turn a blind eye to this tree of life. I mean God where do I begin, the root problem of this planet? My X, the 666 himself, the crux of the issue, that sits at the base of my neck for a car accident he caused 20 years ago, collected and never bothered to treat it?

You Really Got Me/VH
The crime he committed with Mary Stone? The theft of everything that I worked for and created with my own hands. Maybe I should just get to the heart of the matter God? How all these doctors for 19 years turned a blind eye, and this judicial system that works in conjunction. All these heartless bastards running the show making humanity slaves, to cover a health care system. They just re-created the depression and a way to pay for it. All working hand in hand living off this tree of life's suffering.

Good Times Bad Times/LZ
Sirius, The Star of Bethlehem. I had been wondering why this name kept popping up in my head lately? I found Paladies the 7 stars and the 12 signs in the zodiac right down to references in the Qur'an to Job. I found it on Mysteryoftheiniquity.com. Finally learned how to spell Qur'an, my issue it will not be in my spell check once again.

I had been wondering about this name Tammy that has been a part of my life since about five? Their is a God Named Tammuz who was killed.

Shine On You Crazy Diamond/PF

Behind Blue Eyes/The Who
What a song God. It's not a good time for this. My favorite book "Blue Eye's" A woman and two men from another time. All ended up at a castle. Me, I married Cain and well now it ends, with "ole' blue eyes." Back to the son I go, back to the beginning to fix what is broken one last time. Together from the start, no this heart does not part.

Flaming Telepaths/BOC
Crazy Little Thing Called Love/Queen

House Of The Rising Sun/The Animals

"COME ON GOD, JUST BRING ME THE BEAST GOD. JUST BRING MY BIG DADDY HOME. BACK HOME TO THIS MOTHER'S BLOODY HEART."

Cities On Flame/BOC
Now your talking God. Let's get this party started. Once I read revelations, and I spotted with my lil' eye, a Garden Of Eden in the end of day's, and it was God's plan for my P.D.L. I had a new mission and I felt guilt free, just more determined and accepting of my beasty side.

Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution/AC-DC
Did you know that the Rock and Roll sign is the Illuminati sign? Yeah, but then I remembered what my grand dad told me it meant? "I Love You." For me that's all I need to know. Discovering Anne Rice was closer to the Truth behind the Illuminati and whom holds the Truth behind closed doors? Let's just say I don't need no stinking names but one now, the lessons having been so Revealing about this Illuminati and who's going to get the bad apples out of this families tree of life once and for all. That other big R that IS going to go bye bye when all is said and done.

Lil Wing/JH

Make that a double God. Don't worry it's not R&R, I'm talking about Rules and Rituals on Gods Love, all you need is heart.

Highway Star/Deep Purple
A lil' sun to go with the lil' moon then the trinity is this Holy Spirit, this Rock God gave you to feed yourselves Love and food, forever he will provide. Shove that up Uranus Uncle Satan.

Twilight Zone by Golden Earring
Hey God, getting ready to walk out the door thinking about how cops aren't nothing more than baby sitter's with badges, trying to work with all this insane behavior. I'm not the legal system, I'm more of a Justice System wouldn't you say?

Light My Fire/The Doors

Hotel California by The Eagles
You can stab it with your steely knives but you can never leave. Welcome to Hell
Yes God now let's 69 man, a free exchange, balance. Sounds like a good ending to shut the gates of hell.

Burnin' For You/BOC
Let's see it Big Daddy. Where's my fire? Now stop teasin' and start pleasin' I am part beasty after all. I'm not to proud to get down on my knees the way you like it.

Gallows Pole/LZ
How Feasty. Let's play.

Dogs/Pf on Animals,
You know Big Daddy that website I found on mythology, I haven't even gotten to the Wolf section. I didn't even know there was a mythological story about wolves. Will I get to find out what the representation of the white wolf was sitting in my closet watching me at night? You know the one in Oregon from my childhood, he had all the little girls in red dresses climbing all over him. Then I mentioned the wolf to Kyle, not knowing completely what it meant then?

It had something to do with Oregon/Organ's and the dairy farm/The Milky Way. The evening Gwen ran her mini bike up a tree and left me at the edge of a tree line with all those red eyes lighting up under the moonlight as I drove by.  Then the squashing of the Lyncanthrope, that spirit animal we all carry inside us. The ones these higher powers that be never wanted you to find out. Part of the insanity plea I recon, part of the reason they are slowly eroding away mother nature. Hoping no one would notice the connection.

Black Feather, White Wolf the animal, the beasty, the demon inside you. That Red and Black IC. What is it gonna take God to light up those two days and two nights of no moon, and no sun? This is the end of the line. What that black star did working behind that black pentagon, standing out in plain sight, eating at our tables, pretending to feed us, yet burn out our energy, kill us off and shut down humanity any way it can by getting you hooked into the system any which way it can. Addiction, depression, or injury. Once it does, it has it claws in you. Once in, their ain't no getting out. It's all a numbers game, a monopoly, charging humanity to survive on Gods Rock? I don't think so.

You know what you can do, if you don't like my house rules about love and life running this enterprise? You can get the flock off my rock. Please do let my angel hit you in the ass on the way out. I don't want to see you round here no more. Now God bring me my beasty of a man back home to me, tucked up under my wing where he belongs.

Shoot To Kill/AC-DC
What can I say Big Daddy, a girls gotta eat. I'm hungry, now feed me, like I've never been fed before.

 

Growing Pains

Growing Pains
"Up Where We Belong" by JC/JW
I loved this song, once upon a time. It's been an emotional roller coaster ride this week. Literally taking the hits. I might get lucky with all this stoning? Three stoning's down. One part of the journey for me and the commitment I made, was to get hit with fist like rocks, in a gold semi that said "CRST" across the back. Faith. If only I knew then what I know now? To late to go back now.

Instant Crush/NI
In about the last month two more times. Well once again God, just what the flock did you get me into? You tie my hands. I admit my tolerance for this other B.J.'S. I have suffered under, stuffed in my mouth? I'm pissed. Flocking Blanket Justice System. Now I have the answer to why a black thing stood in my room about five years ago? I could see it standing behind me, I didn't need to turn around, I could see it clearly. Then it literally threw a blanket over my head. Alien, still not sure? It's an energy, however not malevolent. My motto, "I ain't dead yet."

Never Thought/DH
No wonder I couldn't speak all these years? I have had the biggest shaft ever stuffed down my throat. No wonder no one could see it? No wonder for whatever reason I have never been allowed to speak. Metaphysical Cock Blocker, choking me. D.P.'d from both ends god?

Bad Day/DP
Then God got me to shed a few tears. "A heart of gold and this country." My hand went to my heart and I got all weepy. Then a couple hours later, standing doing dishes, "Oh no you don't. No way, I see what your trying to do? You pull at my heartstrings, you use the excuse, heart of gold and my country?" Nice try God, you almost had me, but as far as I'm concerned after the last couple of days, a better description would be heart of Jade. Then again who's heart isn't jaded today? All this hell and purgatory and I still can't raise a hand to this bullshit? Flock this family enterprise.

Treat You Better by SM
You know God after standing in the dressing room at Victoria's Secret, my most favorite store of all time.  Growing pains? You have no idea God, I blame you for this. These had better be just fillers that's all I have to say. I'm a 32B. I know that. Even the clerk measured me and agreed. I realized it's been three years in a sports bra. The pain I've had these last couple of weeks, I knew it was time to get some big girl britches. I even tossed my lil' girl peace and love panties out. Time to grow up once again.

Ive Got A Crush On You/ RS/DS
I walk in on a tight budget. One bra and five pairs of matching panties to boot, things were going good, until I opened the door. I looked at this girl half my age at best, re-educating me on things I used to know about myself. Humble pie time. She say's "you know I think you need a fuller cup and at least a C cup." Here I go trying to argue with her and rationalize her poor logic. "No. No. No. Uhhmm! I'll go with a different cut, but not a C." It gets worse. She said, "actually I would say more like a D." I'm shaking my head no. The clerk said "I'll tell you what, I'll bring both." Talk about river of denial." My body is changing shape once again.

Because We Can/BJ
I'm freaking out. I didn't like the cut of any of my panties either and now I have to start all over. Of all times once again, Michael's inner child kicked in on the A-Line. I basically tell him in a nice way, to get lost. I kid you not, ten minutes later he comes back, "I can't find anything." As I'm standing in the dressing room trying to keep it together. I mean telling me my size one frame, and this is now my breast size?

Back At One/BMcK
"No God not this way." I mean I used to fold these contraptions for my mother. Telling me this is equivalent to telling me, "time for those granny panties Colleen." Then the clerk calls a friend, and they both agree, "nope, she needs a DD. My God are you kidding me?" Then I'm thankful once again for how one simple panty line changes the eye line and well the dimension's. It helped to soften the blow. Starting puberty all over at 49. Time for a reality check. Now I love my clothes and all the cover up. Give me back my overalls.

I'll Be Over You/ToTo
I stand in front of the mirror nude. Pasty at best, "a little sun would help God." I can see the cut line down the sides of my abs coming back, but as far as the rest of it, when I look in the mirror, all I see is Eve. "Dammit God, we both know I'm still a B, not a DD, and the Truth of why I now I have to wear an even thicker armor to hold me up? You know God, this started out with me seeing something within the gravity when I looked at all these saggy shoulders. This? Now you put me through growing pains as a 49 year old woman and what I really look like as Eve, not Colleen? Come on God let me shed this skin. I want a new sheath God. I don't like this one. What was that Liber 49? Liberated at 49? I hate you every minute of every day for this."

I'll Be/EMcC
I'll BEE, with my fist up Zeus's Anus if anything goes wrong. With you a close second for all this. You bet I better get a good old buff and fluff when this is done. Don't think I don't see your point and what your locking me into either? I know how Vain am I at a time like this? You know what God, you are either going to make me stand completely nude in front of a strange man, or the entire planet and all it's occupants? Yes God, I'm so Vain, I'll bet you think every song is about you? Who knew? What a Ego right God? So where is my eagle that's what I want to know?"

Firework/KP
I'm the one that committed to this deed somehow, and I want it all back. Like it's not bad enough how much and whose been watching me and chirping in my ear my whole God Damned life now? Then this, all this?

All Or Nothing/O-Town
Oh God! How convenient your tune? Stop playing me the same old song already. Same old speal going round and round. Pony it up God, or get lost. I'm tired God. I'm tired of all this pain and suffering of this tree of life every step of the way. I want out of your school, I'm tired of all this education, going back, and back. I'm tired of everything being so hard living under all this B.J, of a system that made it so humanity can't even speak and have emotions without all the labels. Without all the cells in our bodies, hearts, and minds God, being shut down.

I Believe In You/MB
Once again you A-Hole of an Angel I can't shake off nowadays no matter how hard I try. Which bad habit do I choose to get by today on God? I don't know how much more I can take all this love you bestow upon me.

You're Beautiful/JB
Really God? Now after Monday? Beauty is in the eye of the BEHOLDER? Whose Eye God? Whose the beholder God? Authenticity, beauty in the authenticity of thyself? I know it's that acceptance of thyself and the inner beauty, I've been talking about and now you are putting me to the test. In the worst way ever. Regardless of what people think? I don't jump in bed with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I am still modest I guess. Even for this rock."

Fight Song/RP
I know after all this, this is my issue? A hard thing to admit. I hate ass kissers God. Love everything I do and say. Please God can you just please deliver a space rocket and get me the flock off this rock?

Still The One/Orleans