Where Is The Love by BEP

Watching Daniel last night, I realized something after he left?
"You can't make someone love you when you don't love yourself. Give them something to Love from the start, YOUR TRUTH from the start. Their ain't no better love than that. All of you.

Way Down We Go/Kaleo
Not just broken pieces of your heart. Why let a broken human being determine your value? My fear in telling another from the start? I couldn't explain any of it. When another man knew the truth of any relationship I walked in, I did not see compassion for any of what I went through with them. Trying to hold up the broken pieces of their life they didn't want to deal with. I don't mean compassion of the heart, I'm talking basic living. The day to day stuff just fell away, right along with the responsibility. No credit for my time or heart. I did see compassion only after they had a personal experience with my X. I was so tired of someone holding my past against me. Telling me to go back, truth is there was nothing I could go back to. I couldn't change someone else's behavior toward me. I couldn't change how they liked to strike behind my back, to make them look good. Sabotage. I walked away with less and less. The burden of the blame, all because of the big A.

Wasn't Me/Shaggy
I wasn't allowed to not hurt from the start. Physically/emotionally I mean, because Greg was made responsible for the guidelines for me to see my girls. I even offered to see them in a counselors office, to re-build my relationship with them, that was soon after this went down. I was not allowed back at the table no matter what I did to prove myself to him or anyone else. Also they were stressed too. Highly so. Asking to go to their own counselor on their end and told no. I offered to pay for it at the time. I was told no. I offered pee test in the counselor's office.

Whiskey Lullaby
I wanted to help them with what they were going through with Greg, in a setting with guidance to help them also deal with me and have an open conversation on where I'm at to help us three all along as a family and to help Greg and Anne too. You know keep the peace? Own up to my part with my babies at a time I was sober once again. Well until some pain in one form or another sets in. Just me asking Greg if I could do this caused to much of a problem in there home and I was told no. I remember, I even had all the answers to his questions including the rides.

Take Me To Church/Hozier
Dammit God I had no intention to re-hash that shit. I'm done looking at it. Do not push my buttons today. I said it the other day, just let me hold onto my pink cloud for a day. I'm tired of someone or something bursting my bubble and what I figured out conversing with you, I'm having a hard time inside myself to even want to reach for the stars. It's sinking in deeper and deeper. The C in my name, and why we are still out here is because you are setting me up for more Truth I don't want. Your energy and power I haven't even begun to feel, because I am a vessel. Your energy, all your mighty power? From beginning to end and I am you which is "THE CREATION."

Won't Go Home Without You/M5
In the beginning it was bad enough to realize how watched I was. Truly watched in all my endeavors in this life. Talk about wanting to crawl in a hole. Like on Mad About You When their sex tape got released? Then how far back this Big C really goes? The Big C of Commitment and the other big A of Agreement I made even before JC? I ran across something else God? The first religion before the OT and well they hated the three sides of the Hindu God. Imagine that? I hate you. Do you know how many people want to kill God out of fear? Out of all the brainwashing throughout time, or the lack of understanding and knowledge?The control and manipulation over the human heart and the TRUTH they hid in all the lies pisses me off. RAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEE.

I Write Sins Not Tragedy/Panic! ATD
A Shark is an opportunistic feeder, just like a demon. These demons don't give a flying flock God. Who they take out to get a job done. Being surrounded by all these fallen angels in humanity really puts a craw in my crotch.

Everyday when M gets up he turns on Super Natural. Once again I walk through when Cassius said, "ya know resurrection, it hurts worse every time." I laughed and thought, "you think?" The further and further this rock goes down the toilet, it seems my spine declines, like gravity pulling me down, slowing me down.

That's what I Like/BM
You know God this is just the thing I hate about long distance relationships? You stand before me as a man. I can't touch you, but I feel you and see you through my other senses. Like your standing real close. I can just reach up and pluck a star out of the sky. So close, yet to far away, just like my babies. You are cruel that's what you are. You have all the control.

Waterfalls/TLC Three Wooden Crosses/RT
You lose the intimacy, the bond, the caress, the light kisses, being so far away. You lose the two things that make you whole in that touch. Love of your creator, the good energy, the finishing touches it takes to make life on this rock, The man and the woman together. Make Love, make life, whether a child you can feed healthy love and provide, to just the right touch you need, right when you need it. If that ain't love, I don't know what is. I admit with all this conversing with my higher power, God created another pride issue inside of me. Well the one that won't go away? What do I say to Him?

Small Town Saturday Night/HK
Remember I'm only a human after all. That Pride I hold inside me. I understand, it's about love and family. It's about Faith, It's about Trust in the Big D in the sky, my very own beasty. It's the ego issue you gave me right along with my pride? How am I supposed to say, "no I'm God, your JC?" Why do I bother stressing about this God? It's horrifying, the set up. I do not know if and when I will ever be able to laugh about this part?

Where The Green Grass Grows/TM
It's just not funny from my perspective. Ain't none of this funny, well except the part, where I get to say "out of the two of us, your the girl. Take that pussy boy." He better put out God, I'm not talking about his wallet. It don't cost nothing to love and play. It's humanity who makes you pay. Not God, not His Mother. Not your parents. God's angels are pretty much androgynous like their creator from the start. That white light of energy you carry inside your heart.

I'm Gonna Love You Someday/TT
I mean it makes no sense does it. To limit God's love? Even those that feel you have lived in sin, what makes you think you get to choose the level on Sin when it comes down to Love. No breaking of the spirit either way. Freely given is freely taken. Leave the babies out of it. Leave them out of your sick love and trying to pull them in. It ain't love. This selling off our children is gonna stop too. We no longer make a living out of our babies love and lil' bodies. We guide people and their ain't nothing wrong asking for help early on.

I Want To Talk About Me/TK
You Know God, even after all this I still have nothing tangible standing in front of me. Are you my gift or my curse? Some days God, I have to admit I don't like your presence much either. I mean your killing me.

Ocean Front Property/BS
I don't know if its your angel or your black shadow yet, but some days, some moments in time, I love you and I hate you at the same time. You've given me more heartache, more sociopaths, and more demons. I feel more alien from society than I have ever felt before in my life.

Take Me Down/A
I want to scream at Kyle for this. I want to pound him in the ground for this. Truly, I wasn't the one looking. I wasn't the one looking to be taken back. I wasn't lookin' for no transaction of any kind. One little thing God? One little thing? Still I know inside me in all your power in glory I'm still just a tick in time to you. Your so far advanced in time than me, in energy, in everything. I keep being taken back to standing in front of you all of a sudden each time.

Country Roads/JD
Humanity does not understand the beauty at time's just makes you weep and fall to your knees. In this human body God, I have the least control and humanity doesn't understand that. I belong to you and that is just the way it is. I am who I am. Love me or leave me, if you choose not to just walk away, its okay. You have freedom to choose. I choose to tell you the truth and let you make your own choices, not leave you in the dark. God please, I just want to go home wherever that may be. I just don't care no more.

The Devil went Down To Georgia/CD
Lately I just feel like I want my soul to release from this shell. Like I'm pushing against this shell, this framework, this structure and I want to escape, but I know full well you won't let me out. No matter how much I beg. I still can't believe, well the weakest part of me that is trying to retain all that has befallen upon me in the last two years, wants out, that human spirit wants to run and hide sometimes too.

 Good Hearted Woman/WJWN
 Last night when I was asking you to let me out, I knew one thing for sure, I am shooting right past you out of this Universe and getting as far away as I can. I fully understand why other good energies leave. All this chaos and commotion? If I didn't have to contend with this, I'd leave too. Get me off this ent3rprise, you bet your sweet ass the human side wants off this rock. The other side ain't going nowhere until I get my reward. The reason I'm her in the first place, I heard from the start, "Satan is here for the son. As much as I want to run, I can't let Satan get a hold of that man. Especially when no one knows that it also means that sun in the sky. Yeah, God this hiding this part of the Truth kills me. What did I say no matter how much I scream and yell, don't let me out of this?

Remember When/AJ
I watched A.A. again I think S12/E12 not sure? About the animals in the stars are here to to live. This universe belongs to all forms of life and it feeds all forms of life. Unfortunately by shutting down weed and turning a connection to your higher power into sin and drugs. That gateway drug it is now called Schizophrenia to connect to the family in the stars. You know the house and numbers, the stars and animals in your family is your kingdom too people. They have confused the gardens and food chain by making us attack each other. Make us feel guilty for liking to be in mother nature and connecting to it. So they remove it or control it, right along with our food chain. Even how you enjoy, connect and rejoice. Your dimension and kingdom is inside you. You have dreams don't you?

I Told You So/RT
God just get me and mine through this. Whomever they maybe.

Texas Tornado/TL
I got off the A-line the other day. Returning from The Bush, and lying right outside the doorway, is the Joker Card face up. Yes God, you certainly made me the Joker, you made me look like a fool. I mean who says to a man whom lost his wife right off the bat? Why is your wife waking me up? Who says "OMG! It's that black feather you wear, it's my angel wings. Kyle what does your black feather and my angel wings have to do with this?" I hate you for that. It is just so horribly wrong to make me shoot from the heart with the truth. Especially that God? Like I have an in with his wife?

High Cotton/A
I don't like to hurt people, why would I want to hurt a stranger whom never did me any harm, but piss me off God? I hate you for this part everyday. I cringe at this. Every day I get a visual of this and it horrifies me. All because of those twin towers, those numbers he said, that seven and that three. Two sets of twins in seven, with a trinity back up. All red headed ADHD. The Mother a six foot one Welsh lawyer at that? A farm two bouts of cancer?  I feel like something is coming close and I don't know what it is? I can't speak God. I mean I couldn't figure out what Freya, ISIS and a Lakota all have to do with each other. A Hindu woman whom ascended from 12 and my Cherokee Grandmother from twelve, with a purple book whom happens to of married a Navajo named Bishop and they had seven with a Lily. Then my grandfathers last name means Easter too? All this Easter stuff God? Just get me to that Golden Egg and get this over already.

Sold/JMM