Country Girl Shake It For Me

I just don't even know where to begin once again. The insurance company turned down my second and better of the three choices they approve of my pee medicine. I already did the time on the first one. The third one is the worst. So it's up to me and the doctor and the pharmacy to do all this back and forth on a pill just to pee. Yes I found a warning on one of my medications when I was so laid up hurting and tired. When I had screaming low back pain, All knotted up and twisted, stuck out of alignment. Gee all those warnings were my symptoms and I was told to take more and they collapsed my bladder. One thing I know about myself, is my bladder and liver were fine before all this last round of pills. I chugged water all my life especially when I drank to protect my organs. When I don't take the pills and just have coffee I'm good.

Blow Me Away by SCR
Yeah this is a gauntlet highway of hell and the biggest set up I've ever seen in my life. We serve a machine people. We serve a banking system that is making it's own laws and rules. Our houses will never be paid off but they keep building them. So yeah all that money all that past debt around the globe is so illegal. Create the wars and disease and have a mandatory healthcare system to cover it. Poison mother natures seed you poison her children. Her system suffers we suffer. Our gardens soil and my my all those poison apples I see going on around me. No this mother gives this system a big fat F. Don't need those ovens to kill off humanity, lets just kill them off from the inside. Fascist Pigs, you know the ones that JC placed you demons in. Don't forget I know it's the Fascist Behavior behind that iron curtain trying to kill me off and my family.

Lets not acknowledge that S shape in the spine, or take care of it naturally so humanity won't ascend. You know discover you don't need a box to learn about God. This is his rock, this is his flock, hence that circle of life that feeds you all. Those gardens and all his little beasties. Anger doesn't begin to describe how I feel. Why do I have to do this attorney Generals job? Why do I have to pay for a lawyer for something that should of never happened to my constitution in the first place. Diagnose and make you zombies in the spine and the neurological system for pain, blame the addicted. The good one is the mind. The diagnosis of the mind and the numbing of natural emotions to keep you numb and unaware in a box is inhumane. Come along and plant labels on humanity all to feed the machine of the healthcare system, owned by the same banking system.

That vacuum is a machine people, those behind the iron curtains funding this bullshit consider yourself standing on the wrong side of the door when this goes down. Things are going to get very hot it seems. Nothing in this system is moral, you have no principals and this system has no heart, to make any choices for anyone.

Your heart by RaeLyn
Can't touch a keyboard without venting my rage when I have so much other shit to do. You know pointing out to the attorney general all the injustice. I want to know where my justice is for all these guidelines and parameters they placed upon me. All those labels on humanity is bullshit. I mean who is in charge of the job market and how we apply for a job and how it just keeps changing? Yet it keeps us attached to this computer and smart phones that really make you stupid, keep updating and filling my landfills.

Act Like You Don't by Brooke Eden
So yeah I watched a couple more documentaries and I kept hearing Hindu again, So I looked it up and I went through the three names and their jobs. I wanted to scream. Brahma and Vishnu, the creator of life, fertility Goddess, yet the destroyer.

Parachute by CP
It certainly explained people dying around me, looking back, No I didn't know any of this two years ago. Some people piss me off I get angry, I don't say anything. I walk away. I let it go, then something tragic. Not proud, yet in defense, my family has the right to defend me and my children. All of them in each their own way I recon. I might not like their choices, yet I have to honor their wishes and goals for this rock.

Talks about the Shiva side and the weather. Well it certainly explained the dancing feet. Then the theologist wonder what the ring of fire means with me doing the dance of death in the middle. That was not a good visual for the human part of me. I believe I'm supposed to be dancing with a partner, whether on the ground or on my feet, that is my next fear. God Damn you God. I hate knowing the answers sometimes.

Something Bad by ML
Are You Mother Flocking Kidding Me? It doesn't matter what I watch. Reality TV pisses me off. Just the principal and the illusion that this is what you do to succumb, to survive or be loved. This is how you get rich, it's all bullshit. Just look at the titles and the names of the characters in the TV shows. The bad behavior in every sect of life. All that crime, all that drama to keep you glued to the boob tube and well not mother natures breath of life.The cost for this service and all these bundled packages. The shady fee's for everything in the service industry. Their ain't no service.

Dirt on My Boots
I know where humanity learned to do all this character assassination on each other. You politicians.Now it's legal and you can get paid at that. Yup mine and all my nosing around, and curiosity, opening doors and creating names, to nose around in these places. Investigate humanity. I always wonder what makes people tick. I like a lil fire. To be a destroyer is a hard pill to swallow.

Then the Curse of King Tut. OMG! This is bullshit. The guy that got bit on the cheek by a mosquito, is that the Zika Virus perhaps? The one that hasn't been around since the 60's that affect the fetus if the mother is bitten. The one who's house burned down and flooded. Oh yes and the one with the cobra and the canary found in it's mouth? Could that be me singing like a canary destroying all your lies and bullshit as I tear down that house of cards?

International Harvester by CM
That canary is also the coal mines and didn't they use a canary when they ran out of oxygen? Also it's the whistle blowers at these corporations. So yeah "eat that bitch." I want this shit done. He even said if you open this "It is I who hindered the sand from choking the secret chamber and that one who repel him with the dessert flame. I have set a flame the dessert, I have caused the path to be mistaken. I am for the protection of the deceased". Dessert Storm comes to mind. So many curses coming to head and no one wants to acknowledge this.

Diamonds by Brooke Eden
 Well between the God Particle and Religion is right where I stand. To discover I'm the answer yet the destroyer, to recreate makes my human side want to run to God and strangle Him. Kiss Him, Hug Him, Throttle Him, then love him all up and down. It's all so confusing. Angels and Halo's. Clueless thats me.

Barefoot Blue Jeans
Sun Disk is called Aten = A Ten
King Tut's father Ankhkeperure who's other son is Moses. Imagine that. History tried to erase him because he got his information just like the other geniuses on the earth and they want to hide the truth Sun God, One God, Sun Disk, Aten. Ring of Fire. Now if any of you are thinking about touching my children I want you to read back how my families justice works. When it comes down to protecting my children, I am not ashamed to put the fear of God in you. I mean any thing I wrote is a fact about my life and can be verified. So here I am this families bait.

These Mummies look like caterpillars wrapped in silk, don't ya think? Buried like Russian dolls.
Moses Son of God, Thoth Son of Moses.

Osiris Chapel. Osiris Device function as a stairway to heaven, biblical art of covenant. I took pictures of red staircases going up into the clouds in the beginning. The day I turned 17 doing a kitty kat river dance.  Mythology and the bibles and science each in their own way hide the truth. To many similarities in each sect to be lies. Jaques De Moley was killed by King Phillip the fourth and Pope Clement the fifth. Curses coming back around. I took a picture of a candy wrapper protruding from the ground outside my door a couple days ago. It was a tiny red Templar cross. I found a red apple jar yesterday that says if you cut it in half you find a star. Anothers garbage is ones treasure.

Hillbilly Deluxe
Funny how those apples keep popping up. You remember the one at King Street staion sitting on the shelf in the womens restroom? The day I noticed the number of lights, and the eight doors and I did a lil dancing there too. Just after I learned their is more than one door to heavens gates. You just had to poison mother natures fruit?

Jaques Cursed them, yes he did. Phillips family line died out and well the pope died of a disease and the church where they were going to hold the procession burned down. This is why you don't get to pick and choose in religion who gets through God's gates. I mean look at the bullshit Issac Newton had to go through because of your guidelines and rules to be close to God? You make God scary and well now thank you, my God is gonna get a lil scary. I mean who wouldn't after watching all this and all these warnings everywhere. No one listens do they God?

Oak Island, big cross with middle rock being a head with a sword. Goliath 6 ft 9. David five foot three. Yes God some day's I want to kill you for this. Season One Episode four, well all of it so telling, yet the one that sticks in my mind is the Angel of Death, and the experiments he did on children. The melon heads. His name Dr. Crow, I wrote when the black crow falls and well it reminds me on the curse on, oh my mind draws a blank, The martial arts guy who was killed and so was his son in the filming of the black crow. Humanity created the monsters and the myths and well just the lies and destruction of mankind. The inhumane behavior that we do to one another comes back around after all. Once again I can't thank you assholes enough for burying the truth. Bad Medicine and Bad Science.
Jealous Girl
Humaneez chimps and humans, trying to breed once again. Jesus Christ people are you so unhappy with humanity and who you are that you have to recreate Gods gifts of life and perfections? You have to slice and dice any creation and recreate perfection to create droids and monsters on my rock is done. I love my family and children just the way they are. They look just fine to me, I want them to ascend naturally in their own time however. With out all the garbage and lies creates in my landfills and in the human mind. Keeping them repressed so they stay hidden and miserable looking for the truth in the light that you all carry inside you.
X's and O's
Oh Yes and Dr Crow and Cleveland. Cleveland Ohio. My granddaddy. Colleen what got two O's on the end and hi in the middle? Then I end up in Cleveland Mississippi for six weeks and Michaels racist cousin who stood in my house and casually used the word nigger. I'm tired of you racist pigs, living off humanity and think you are entitled because you got a education and your skin is white. No wonder people hate white people. Truth is we didn't create this mess. It's the blowhard assholes centuries ago. We just kept piling on the shit, blaming someone else, dodging bullets all while you politicians back stab and castrate each other, why don't you do your job and set a good example?

I am going to say this one more time today. God is a celestial, light being. That would mean he is a what? Androgynous, in human form male. Dark hair, shoulder length, and a beard. He shows himself arms crossed, always a smirk no matter what I do. Some days I don't know who I'm arguing with when he shows me how attached we are. Yes as a human I want to run. Funny I still don't want the bottle. After all this, I still have no desire to be addicted to anything.

My Mistake by Cam Untamed
I discovered a back door out of this wedding shit. I know it's not going to hold up. Jesus and Mary God, they were companions and in those days companions were married. I don't like to be the center of attention God. I'm only doing this for my children.

Close Enough by BY
Yes I have discovered watching all these documentaries and history channel just how much the queens had to sacrifice their bodies as well as their children for the Kings. Still they got a bad wrap and were ostracized, murdered, raped and labeled whores without so much as a thought.

Pontoon  by LBT
Well truly no one back in the day owned that O ring. Whoever owns the keys to your kingdom, owns and decides everything. What are you going to sell of yourself to protect you and feed your children? Would you sell your soul to feed and protect your children? My children are my heart, my soul. The parent dies, the children dies. Sounds pretty hopeless, right?

Now let's talk about hope and that Pandora's Box. God Pandora pisses me off. Then to find a documentary where a wife opened her gift when told not to. I mean what a set up, right? The only one left in the box is hope. For the life of me, I can't get out of the box, to even speak to feed people life back into them. Truth helps with humanities wisdom and the choices we make. To bad past kings didn't see it that way. Yes I label all you different President's, ruling lands, kings. No I didn't say good ones. Don't go putting words in my mouth to save your ass anymore.

Better In Boots by TY
Now I never envied a politicians job, ever. Yet this has been going on for to long. When is enough enough? When are we going to stop tolerating and have acceptance?When are we going to stop the blame game and let the money go and feed the people again? It makes me cry just to write this part.

Man I Fell Like A Woman by ST
Walking here today I found cherries spilled on the sidewalk and a white napkin shaped like a star. Who says my family doesn't speak to me. I love cherries. Well not cooked in my food. I like my cherries raw, on the stem even. Yes as a woman, as a human being, I have a right to eat my food the way I like to eat my food. Don't anyone tell me what I need to be thankful for again. I was thankful all along. It is you humans who judge and make those choices if I am worthy to eat. As far as I'm concerned after this, you all can get your food and leave me alone. You don't feed me, my family does.

Stay by Sugarland

http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/siva.asp

Man I Want To Be by CY

In The Blood by JM

Sometimes I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Go away God, no come back God.
Wasted Time by KU
I asked how long has it been? He said fifteen years. It was fifteen years since I first worked at TA. Got fired for something I did not do. I said that too. Conspiracy? Coincidence?
Flatliner
Just not meant to be but I know one thing fifteen years, now seventeen. I Ain't happy. Not one God Damn but. Either way I shake a stick at this timeline, I ain't happy. You know what they say? If your mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy. My daughter's well let's just say Pope Greg. Your dead demon boy. I Ain't gonna shed one God Damn tear for you. How far someone goes to protect a secret, is a deadly game of life of death. All to cover a monopoly working behind the iron curtain. That I do know.
Greatest Love Story by Lanco

Champagne Corolla by JTE

To whom it may concern,

Hello my name is Colleen LaNae Mulligan. My Birth date is 04/01/1968. I was born here in King County. Renton Washington to be exact. I am writing this to you because I have been a recipient in your office two times now. It took me two years to get there. I didn't like any of how it went down.
Boondocks LBT

Seein Red by DL
Just to give you more of an idea of who I am. I am a recipient of this healthcare system for about fifteen years now. Truth be told I should of been sitting in your office fifteen years ago at a minimum. More like seventeen to twenty, instead of being bounced to four different neurologist. All of which said the same thing. We do not know why you have migraines but it is well documented that I get two types of migraines. Muscular Skeletal and Cardiovascular. That is the truth. Even if this doctor who propped his feet up on the desk said to me "Colleen, I don't know why you get migraines. As far as I can see you just do. They are hereditary from both sides of your family. Now I didn't like his bed side manner but that is still the truth today, however now we can tack on allergies and sinus migraines.

My Cherokee great grandmother who came from twelve got them. My great granddaddy ( a Navajo) offered her $100.00 cash to do with as she will, if she would just cut her hair. My grandmother said no. Then we got my Catholic Irish side. My own father who was a alcoholic. No I spent very little time with this father but when I did, he was a kind giving man. He was kind of the Jack of all trades. He was intelligent, and when I was a fourteen year old I walked through his old high school and there in the display case was a photo of my father. He was the quarterback. He was a tall lanky man and highly intelligent and very gifted with the numbers and a hammer. You needed a barn built or a ambulance ride drunk or sober it was my daddy who got you there. My grandfather John his daddy didn't even need keys to the ignition to start their cars. When your at a bar most evenings especially after pay day, well who needs to search for a set of keys? How inconvenient. In this small town when my father got pulled over he didn't get taken to jail, they gave him a ride home.

My granddaddy John had a fruit stand, and my grandmother was quite the eccentric to say the least. Phyllis Dillard hair and night dress, and that cackle of a laugh. She was also a kind woman. She would not shower, and she sat in her chair smoking her lettuce leaves with the air conditioner roaring twenty four seven and the front door open. I had an Aunt Judy who got menanagitious when she was six weeks old. She was packed in her bassinet full of ice with her lil face sticking out. Screaming.

These last two years has been the most enlightening two years. Especially on my body. Where my pain really stems from. Which would be my spine. Not my mind, and most certainly not my heart at this point in my life. Now after what I have been through in just the last two years and discovered about my spine. This healthcare system, this legal system and all the injustice and bullshit you doctors serve up I have the right to speak the truth about my body and spine. Now I have done this systems way for the last fifteen years. I have not had one diagnosis. Not one correct one anyways.

Aw Now by CY

It was over two years ago that I finally hurt so bad I had to beg to have a full set of x rays taken of my spine. I couldn't get you doctors to do it. So I had to go to a old friend who was a chiropractor in the valley which I served in for over twenty years in one form or another. Now I don't have cash to pay this man. So I see him only when I really hurt.
Barefoot Blue Jean Night

There have been times it took me 4 weeks to even get into a chiropractor office because of my spine and you doctors. So you will have to excuse my anger as I write and tell you exactly what it has been like for me not only in the last two years, but twenty, and well my life is my history. You doctors want to know every little detail about my history now don't you? Including my spirituality. Which really is none of your business, but it's on every health form now. I am a organic imperfect human being who believes in God yet stuck in a system that tells me how I believe in God. How I pray to God, and how I see and serve God.
A candidate has to belong to somekind of religious instition to show he has morals today. The biggest hippocratical oaths are this healthcare systems, and this justice system, and religion. Truly they should of never crossed paths. However it did long ago. It did in the beginning when we served under kings. Like Henry the eighth who changed his wives and had them beheaded as aften as he changed his religion. He used Religion to rape and pillage all for the wrong kind of power and to steal something that didn't belong to any of these kings in the first place. Yet they could come along, change the religion, cahnge the rules, and they can be indian givers and take back what you already worked for because of that gold coin they served instead of humanity.

Now I am going to tell you this much about who and what I believe in spiritually and it's not your God or this healthcare system that coiled up my spine and told me I'm lying for aminimum of fifteen years now. It's not anyone persons politics that I follow because to place truth and politics in the same category is the biggest lie ever told. I do not serve under any one religion when I speak of my spirituality higher power, God, God Particle, I know one thing is true. God created this rock, he created this universe, he created this solar system.

God is a celestial being of light. He is a spiritual being of light, he is a life force and entity. Whether you believe in God or not, I don't give a flying flock. God created the Atoms, and God created your heart, your spine, your mind, your body and soul for a reason. All God cares about is what you carry in your heart. If you believe in the atoms and Science that is oklay with me too. As long as you carry love you got his son. Whatever you wish to follow that sun in tha sky or the other one JC it's okay with that family upstairs.

Only in this system, healthcare and politics and religion do they want you to find God, yet you go to rehab and jail and it's a bad thing. No I did not find God in no box either. Hospital, institution ,cult or church. I follow none of it. Truth is I believe in all of it. Not religion but humanity. For the last two years, I have been to school the old fashioned way. Actually two to three years now, I took that x-ray to that hospital, the very which one that told me I'm lying. The very same hospital who I went to the director for services on my pain. NO diagnosis, yet I am told, how I can get a migraine, how often and it can only be treated within this guide line. You ask why I did that? I hurt. I wanted answers to my pain. Not in my mind. Not in my heart, or any AA room. In my spine which if you remember has 33 vertabrae which spreads it's tenacles all across your spine webbing all around and up and down your body.

Now it's right here that I will tell you my work history upto this point including my schooling. To make very clear, I ain't stupid any minute of any day. It is not rocket science when you look at that x ray. It's not rocket science to put a back pack on your back and work through all these second chance progrrams. The ones you insurance compainies serve now. The head games you doctors play on humanity when they hurt, the way you now choose to shut down the pain is the reason for this depression. It's actually just one small part, however.

I went to Hazen High School, In my sophmore year I worked as a cashier at Pietros Pizza. My Jr. Year I got my CNA certificate, my senior year I went to beauty school, after I graduated both in 1986, I was the youngest person working for Gene Juarez at eighteen years old. Now I am pointing this out because I did this during high school. I might not of been able to sit still very long in a classroom, I just learn more productively, touching, it seeing it, writing it, and experiencing it. Even a scent or a smell can trigger a emotion. My first grade teachers name was Mrs. Gates in Rainier Oregon, and she did not like me. I was wiggly and squimy and I could not sit still for very long. If I tuned out, she dug her nails in my neck, she pulled the hair on the top of my head and she threw me around my desk and chair.

My sister was in the fifth grade and she was the TA and she went home one day and told my mommy what this teacher did. My mommy went back to that school and said if you touch my child again, I'm coming back here and I'm laying my hands all over you. You see in my family only my mother gives permission who can lay their hands on me. The solution these two came up with in the mean time, was that my bony butt needed a pillow. So I carried a pillow for the next couple of years.

Now your healthcare system calls children like me ADHD. Well I beg to differ. I know one thing, DR. Leon Eisenberg and his death bed confession. I know now it is labeled as fictiousious, yet what I have experienced and witnessed in my lifetime, he is not lying. You can just follow the history of these drugs and timelines. About the time my oldest daughter was five years old the schools started this thing called the system and education. The new way we teach our children. This was not good. These children are Indidgo children. Look it up on google and you will find it says ADHD children vs. Indigo children. So once again, Indigo children came before your system. My native family, and my irish family. Now I want you to look up on Google Tolerate. It clearly states tolerate is a allergy. To drugs and our children of each other, just for not following this system of numbers in your society.

Rainier Oregon is where I lived from about four to eigth years old. I was surrounded by farms and land. Some days I was allergic to nothing and others everything. I had two pets. My brothers white rat and my little dog Tambo. If their was any creepy crawlie anywhere whether on the ground or in the air, I got bit. Bit up by everything one hundred times and others would have nothing. As a child, I took that blue antihistamine, I wasn't old enough to swallow it so I melted that bitter pill. I was also asthmatic. by the time I was in eight grade I had a allergy test done. In my day it was the small syringes in the back. Yup I was allergic to everything. I went into shock and I slept for three days after and when I awoke, I promise you no more allergies until about 19 to twenty years old.

In the last two years I have learned allot about energies. The Atom's, the molecules, the Ion's, the protrons and neutrons. That synapsis. How energy moves through our spine. I must of been about thirty when I started meditating, I pictured my spine as a level of energy. I would envision that energy moving up my spine. I was tired. Deep sleepy tired behind my eyes, just llike I was during my first pregnancy. When doctors blew me off and said your just a little tired from being RH negative. No I was not just a little tired. I was about twenty years old when I first became pregnant by my x.

By the time I was seven weeks, I looked four months pregnant. I was a C size cup going into a D from a B cup. Even my mother and asked my sister at about four weeks if I was pregnant? I had a abortin at seven weeks. I was just startin life. After my childhood, I did not want to repeat history. I wanted to learn what abuse was before I had children. I don't like trigger happy people. Especially when it comes down to tempers. A baby crying is the only way they can communicate. I wanted to be as mentally healthy as possible. I might of grwon up in a messed up family, truth be told, I grew up no different from anyone else. It just depends on your perspective and compassion that you have for others.

I grew up knowing one thing, my mother ain't normal. She was the only who could have emotions. They were eradict, violent and vindictive. Her children took the blame for even being born. To her we were nothing but a commodity. A posession. Truth is I didn't get beat. In my family I had a big brother and a big sister to protect me and they took on the brunt. Not me. My mother before that yes. You step away from mother as peacefully and silently as possible and you will suffer and pay. Just like my x. I grew up very aware and educated on exactly what I never want to be like.

By the time I was twenty one, I worked at boeing in all the engineer vaults I ran on my own. I was a manager of a salon for a year also. At about twenty one I married my x and moved to California. I took hismanil 10mg. and Doxycycline. At the age of about nineteen I woke up one morning broke out. All down my back, face and chest. Huge cyst like zits. For one year before I went to the sermatologist I ruled out everything and tried everything on my own before I took that pill. I don't like pills, but I might believe in alternative healthcare, I too believe in doctors and science.

At about the age of fourteen I developed a knott on my toe and the doctor I had since my childhood, wanted to treat it like a corn. I was starting to get headaches. Truth is looking at my mother I started to get nauseeuous at about the age of six or seven. My whole life my stomach has burned. I got referred to a osteopath, turn out I had raynauds disease. I went to biofeedback therapy and brought my 62 degree toes back upto normal. He gave me zantac and I took motrin or tylentol for my headaches and he adjusted my neck. Which helped. I have been through a number of car accidents. Only one my fault. Going five miles an hour texting went into a ditch. All the others sitting in plain sight. In a dark car every time. Stop light, parking spot, stop sign. It did not matter.

After awhile I just started collecting cash for my cars. My point is this. Energy. I have always been a high energy person. I am intelligent. I have supported groups of 30 as a administrtor at Apple and Microsoft. I do very well with logistics. Pulling things together and I can take on allot and keep a clear head. It's just the way I was wired. My doctor told me to start drinking coffee and move somewhere warm. Instaed I worked out. Not OCD. Just and average of five days a week at intervals. I usually had two or three different routines and different types of exercise. I liked it this way. If I missed a day or two, no big deal. If I couldn't sleep I went for a run. I attended many churches growing up, and many church groups for teens. Still not religious. All I see in religion is a buch of rules to be closer to God or your higher power. It freely gives people permission to judge others. Nothing like making you feel less than, than knowing full well you are reduced by fifty percent by the time you walk in the door if your a woman.

As a woamn your job anywhere is to serve. Especially in religion and politics. Especially with the policeman you call needing help for being a woman for a crime that was committed against my body. Not yours so don't judge me. By the time I am finished with this to you and your service you provided me with your pills I no longer give a flying flock about your HPPA form's. I know longer care about your insurance, I no longer care about your laws and the bullshit service that have been created by your hospitals, and this judicial system. I kn0ow one God Damn thing. Your all a bunch of hypocrites. My whole life I'll be damned if I do and damned if I dont with you all. Who gets the label and the fine for all the bullshit experimwentation you have done to my body, leaving me laid up for months at a time, because you all crossed the line long ago.

You even did it with your labels of gateway drugs and how you use them. I am angry because doing it your way has reduced me and devalued me. I have lost my two daughters to a socio path who stole my two busineesss and four bank accounts because I was not allowed to speak or show proff or documentation of the financial, mental, and neglectful abuse he served up his wife. He did this before rehab and your pills. Your judicial system and this healthcare system. All so you can collect a check and leave me to take the blame and the fine.

Now I have read your Oath and these lawyers oaths which serve corporate america not mankind which is me by the way. This mother. All I wanted when I walked through the door once again, was answers to get me to the next step. Now I have been through the highway to hell walking through this system of bullshit service for two years. I haven't drank or touched anything addctively in three years. I haven't taken a pain pill addictively, in more than ten. I have been mistreated, mislabeled, and even lost walking this all this red tape just to get to your door. If you don't mind it's been a long two years.
I have been raped and eighty sixed off a land for a corpaoration I worked for three times and a valley I started doing volunteer work for, aver twenty years ago. Now I lost my life, my children, and my spine. If you don't mind, I'm taking it back, right along with all the bullshit labels you placed on my mind.

What do you think it does to a human being to never be heard? What do you think it was like for me with a crooked spine to put that back pack on my back, only to discover my body has gone through so many physical transformations in the last three years alone. The last two have everything to do with my spine. My CNS that you all have mislabeled and misdiagnosed all these years. All because now we live in a society so seperated and a healthcare system of doctors so seperated and egotistical all think your covered by your laws huh? I got news for you, I will be on the five o clock news here by this summer telling everything I have learned about you doctors, and your ignoring of the pain and how you treat and diagnose. All the character assination you doctors and politics do in just one ush of a button or swill of your pen. I don't need a lawyer. I am not suicidal, I am not insane. I am fed up and done.

Even in physical therapy I said, don't box me and try to label one area. It is not just one area it is my whole spine. I never know what is going to happen from minuter to the next. I know one thing these questionaires don't ask how long of a gauntlet of hell have you walked through just to get anywhere in this ystem? It did not ask if I was frustrated angry or fed up with all this bullshit red tape that I walk through being bounced from doctor to doctor. All while you collect a check off my body, my time, my suffering and my pain. All the while ignoring the truth of the issue. I am fighting muscle memory in my spine and tendons. While I rebuild and restrengthen these ligaments and muscles, you doctors all treat one part of one thing. I have one whole body. I have one whole spine just like you. If you don't mind I like my spine, I like my heart, and I like my mind. I like my God or higher power, I like my families way of showing me the answers. Not yours if your not going to listen to how I got curvature in my spine or take a look at the whole picture then you have no God Damn business shutting me down emotionally. With all your way of treating one pain one way. When I promise you their all differnet sides to me. We all have triggers and characters no matter who we are and I am sick and tired of the character assination you have done on me in your charts and diagnoses. No spine doctor has any business asking me if I was molested. I fully understand the context being a shaman, and a seer. Now I promise you in the last two years I took my Q's from society. All of you. Everywhere I was sent, I went. It was this system that didn't show up. Out here its all a numbers game in everything. It is the biggest joke. Funny joke is this system and diagnosis to pay a insurance to cover that hospital stay.








I am going over my history also because of the types of questions your doctors asked me in just the few minutes I was in the office. I could not speak about my history in the last two years without being cut off. Told he needed a x ray of my right hip. When what I was trying to do was tell him, it's no longer a issue. I was clearly there about my spine.








 Very telling in the last fifteen to twenty alone and the services you doctors provide. This spine is mine. I have one tree of life, not nine like you doctors seem to think. It did not take any type of degree or major to look at those x rays and not see clearly there is something wrong with my spine.
Fastest Girl In Town by ML

He looked at them and he said, "Colleen I have never seen anything like that. I don't even know what to call it, but I know one thing you are fucked up. Not even I can help you." Yes he did help me is a matter of fact. Next step I took was to the very hopsiatal I have gone to for twenty years, according to doctor and insurance that is. However this hospital and it's practices and any other hopsital or doctor that serves this entity of a system is serving a system, a computer, a bunch of numbers. It is not serving humanity. Looking back twenty years you doctors and your pills, your guidelines and your limitations and liabilities stop helping humanity who suffer, about the time that HPPA form came into play, then along came the Obama healthcare plan. Managed healthcare. Created by Walmart and the BS they pulled when they shut down small business and once again took over pharmaceuticals. Also they hired allot of impoverished and foreigners at minimum wage part time. They kept humanity sitting just under the belt of poverty. So now these people who work for them get to collect food stamps, and the State pays for the healthcare.

Oh No the State pays for health insurance? I owned two alternative healthcare businesses and I remember one thing about being incorporated, any employee's over the number ten, yo paid for health insurance. After this it planted a lie about this system, the doctors and the service. As usual for any small business to survive now we serve two things now the monopoly behind this healthcare system and the doctors who serve it take the blame for any mistep of service you provide. Threat of job loss and hell everybody has to eat right?

Made Me Wanna by TR

You know the one, the one that says enter at your own risk. We are free, to label you, keep you, poison you and decide how and when you get to leave. Oh yeas and we get to bill this Cobra plan. You know the one that was about $600 p.p. and well it has changed its name to Washingtone Apple Health Care. Which takes care of nothing but itself and the disease and illness it has caused over time. Putting a nice name on something and calling it good isn't going to work for me anymore. You diagnose me and I'm going to diagnose you right back. Truth is you this healthcare system made me who I am today. Just think of me as a inoculation. Gotta have a little bit of poison to create the antedote.

Angel Eyes by Love and Theft

HumFitting God. Even the band name Love and Theft how true. It must be the mornings. I don't know. The way I process I guess. Mad again God.
My Girl by D'S
How God? How do I break the news  to people? I mean no matter what I say it's bad. It's all bad.
I mean really, Kimmie and I always said, my God imagine if that woman ever had to be truthful about what she has done to her children? She couldn't do it. It would kill her. Now  look. Thanks allot.
Back roads Song by D'S
Now I have to somehow say oh by the way mommy dearest I gotta story for you. A lil truth serum about who your son is. Oh and where do I begin with my sister? Well you have just been such a lucky charm in my life. Yeah God see, I can't even be nice. I'm not nice. I'm not no JC.
Then let me see how do I tell Shari who her Father is? You know the one she's never met? The one who somehow turns out to be in my wedding. The Father she always wondered about is my brother Todd, hence, JC. Yeah I'm not crazy. Thanks for this.
Think A Lil Less
Then there's my cousin. To tell her why Darcy lost her twin the way she did. I mean they were horrified alone already just with that. My cousin Belinda, the dark grey house on Lilac street. She's suffering with P.O.T.S.  disease. The last name. Her energy drain is because of who her Father was. She's going to be just a little benevolent when she finds out.
Irony is for years I have said to her in a subtle way. I hated the color of that house. Now I know why. Hell God, I had a picture of a depressed woman hanging over my bed. From the back she looked like a pear or a fig. Now I know why. That man is dead and we in my family chose to keep that darkness close, to absorb that dark energy one last time. They are dead and gone. My family suffered because we have heart enough to absorb the poison and know who our family is upstairs.
They Can't See
To have to tell my cousins that, you two have been staying close to my mother, and it turns out I've been hanging with my crazy Aunt Hoogie in my dreams. Their mother. So many nations and dimensions with this crazy aunt of mine. Later we will have a good laugh at God's plan for my family. Till then, not so much.
Life's A Party
Then a perfectly strange man you betrothed me. You set me up. You lock me in a box. Box after box, in my bedroom, in a crooked lil house I've been chained too. I have tried to get out of dodge. I have tried getting as far away as I can. Back to that mountain I go. It pisses me off.
Lonely Call
Locked in another box. Hell God I'm up and bouncing by five. I mean these two ships passing is working out quite well for me, however get me out of this box. I leave just as Michael is getting up. I open the windows and blinds. Come home around four. It's a beautiful day. I didn't want to go back inside. I open the door and it's dark but one lamp, it's muggy, (I have one question for this man that for the last two weeks I have literally pulled up the web site even and said to get this done.)He's playing video games instead. Lucky ducky me. I always did say my picker is broken. Thanks again God. I just can't thank you enough.  I have met men with God hearts. It's sad. Jaded they are. Looking back, a maid to cook, clean, do the laundry, earn her keep. Then flock her over some more right God?
Like pulling dead weight. A great big dead weight child. You expect me God to take on an even bigger dead weight? You wonder why I've tried and tried to walk away. Another man my God, are you flocking nuts? Always keep me at a disadvantage don't you?
Dibs DB
I looked at Michael I said what in the hell Michael? I'm losing my cool God. I'm just not very good at biting my tongue. I just can't hold anything in anymore. It's like blah. Blah. Blah.
I try to keep my cool however. Michael for seven years you have done this. In a apartment, in a house. It doesn't matter what or where. I open a window, a door, a blind, you walk right along behind me and close them.
Dust SUB
Michael the sun is out. He said well I got chilled. Omg. A grown ass man. The last few times I've tried opening  the door for even a few minutes all of a sudden he's got a fever or a chill. I yelled then put on a sweater. Hell Michael let the sun in and air this box out. I can't live in the dark Michael and I certainly can't live in no box.
Hometown Kane Brown
I know I'm not ready, I have more work to re strengthen my spine. I didn't make it this far to turn back now, however I want to put my backpack back on, grab my tent and move back to the woods.
A Long And Happy Life by Delta Rae
How the flying flock God do I tell my children the demon on Greg's head is Pope Greg the First? Please God get my daughter out of the mission. This nun shit is done. God she was in the Montessori as a child. Give her a free life God. Don't do to her anymore. Please God. Bring her home. 704 time for my morning cry as I prepare myself for another day in a box I don't want to have.
Hold You Back
To learn I can process from anywhere I stand all I have to do is Tune in then I pick up on ones true emotions, or a nations. I don't have to sit in no box to do that God. Now get me out of here. I'm starting to feel like a genie in a bottle.
I Can't Be A Backstreet Driver
You know God, we have not discussed any terms to any agreement I may have made. Okay I clearly made a agreement. It appears several agreements as you've been showing me the wrong kind of beasties standing on quite a bit of humanities heads.
Danny's Song
Just A Phase by AJ
I don't want to walk anymore through this healthcare system gathering answers and truly pissing me off.
People Watching
I don't want to go back to the maintenance man and or landlord to get the mother flocking mold out of my closet and bedroom before my allergy appointment. I told one maintence man don't you bother to do this half ass with a bottle of bleach. Low and behold he knocks on my door at not a good moment of discovery with a bottle of bleach. I can speak clear English and they go and do the opposite. Then I get dinged for not excepting this bassackwards system they call help.
I have no rod in my closet, and the other main closet I can't use.
My body is tired of putting a fire under someone's ass. While I get half ass service at best, but I get nickled and dimed for all my patience.
Used To You
Then when I finally blow my stack not even cussing and swearing about all the disservice. I either get fined, or I lose the whole kit and caboodle let's face it, I ain't got much and they know that. They control the money, they control your power, your energy while you burn out all your resources just trying to get help anywhere. They control your welfare they write humanity off as waste.

There's A Girl
Keep fineing you, keep making you pay over and over. Just for a connection, just to get my foot through any door is a joke. Please God, Justice God. My bodies tired God. For the longest time every time I'd walked  through any front door of any corporation especially the entry of a restaurant if it was a mess. I had the biggest urge to slam my fist down on the counter and ask what is the meaning of this? Pay ten bucks for a meal and I get dinged on napkins, condiments, straws, and cups. It's absurd. Dirty tables everywhere. There is no excuse to put a lock on a bathroom door.
Two Black X's
Indignity and injustice. Come on God let me step forward and hand Michael to whom ever his true love is. I know one thing God it ain't me.
I learned what taint was the other day. It taint me.
I Ain't Livin Long Like This
I heard a new word the other day. Yeah me, quantum physics. I want to get through this shit. So I can tune into Freud. I mean how fun is today 8. I meant to say that. Instead today and eight popped up. Oil kept popping up on my screen in the beginning and now all my the turn to thy. My there turns into tree. I can't make this shit up.
My kitchen is tree size of a walk in closet. I admit, being mother nature I can't cook. I keep testing this theory out about a kitchen witch, lil mice, dish fairies, they don't come round my kitchen anyway. I'm it. I told Michael when this is done and over, I'm gonna get me one of them electric machines to do my dishes.
Fly by RK
Michael said, how about a maid? I laughed. No way. Noooooo! I don't want no one living in my house. I like my freedom. I can be naked if I want. I get up between 3 and 5 a.m. I would not do well on someone else's schedule roaming through my house. Gong through my stuff.
Beat Of The Music
Looking back God because of this family upstairs, I have literally had everything stolen. If I  buy something for myself my mother would hound me. Either she just had to have it or one of her friend's. I have had people give me stuff and take it back. No other reason than entitlement. Like all my cars.
Even when I pay for it. My diamond rings, my wedding ring all stolen. By whom?
Dirt On My Boots
I wonder? My family God happens to be yours if I recall.  Now terms of my agreement God. So far my body is coming back.
GOTTA Know You
You have no idea how many times I looked in the mirror and had to remind that man, I'm not Eve God Damnitt. Give me my body back. Still not happy about the loss of T&A.
Thunder In The Rain
Remember God I had two. I did not give birth to no dozen. If I recall God I did have a couple things that have since gone missing.
All Country In You
Terms of agreement? Hhhmmmmm!
Shall we do the numbers God? Times 49 years. Times two daughters. Three more lost babies. Each pregnancy about killed me energy wise. Then let me times that 666 brother of mine I married. Throw in a demon named pope Greg the first who just happened to write a lie about Mary, JC and their children.
Love Triangle
Throw in a demon mother to raise me. I'll just tack on another 49 years of hell for this one. What a Cybil. What a hot mess. All these fines, jail time for other men. Treatment centers, hospitals. Cost of all these fees, and fines. Cost of the labels now that is going to cost you interest. A lil compounded interest.
Now God I'm sorry. I can't afford to keep you. I'm gonna have to sale you off. You know that stock in trade bullshit I have been through?
Stay A Little Longer
Don't worry God, I'll buy you back. I just gotta get my worth out of you. Cain every vessel, drain every vein, while humanity pays for all this vanity, I get to sit here and stew. Compounded interest for the air loans.
Rock On
Cost to my body with all this poison in the air, yet I smoke a lil tabaccy. I get labeled the poisonous one. Just to use a service they provide I'm gonna pay. Pay I have. I'm done paying for all this bullshit injustice. Please God blow it up. If you don't I'm gonna go out in space with my families lightening rod, I'm going to find the biggest Meteor I can find and I'm going to batter up right for this rock if I don't see some action.
You Look Like I  Need A Drink
Funny I still have no desire. I learned all I needed. My job traveling universally is done. Right God?
I don't know if I can take one more shoe drop.
Worth The Wait
Really God? Kiss my Lily white ass today. I'm not afraid to die God. I'm afraid for my children's heart God. It's really that simple.
Hope You Get Lonely Tonight
No matter what I can't even say this has been a God like journey. With all the feeling and touching God. I'm ready for tree light even if humanity isn't. Burned out doesn't even describe how much I want this done and over with.
Yes I hope your as lonely as I am even with someone. I hope your lonely. I hope you hurt for this.

Wildhorse by RaeLynn

Remember I don't pick. Picks at the library today. The display out front speaks volumes. May 8th, 2017. 

Carry Me Across The Mountain

Been listening to Alison Krauss and the Union Station. I love her crisp lilting voice. Like an angel' s voice. She's a gifted woman. Her instrumental voice, her lilt, reminds me of a harp. I love blue grass. The fiddlers, the banjos, the harmonica all playing together, in a bluesy crescendo. It moves you're feet and it speaks to mgymy soul.

Out Of The Woods biy Nickel Creek.
I know God my spine hates me today, however I want to dance faster today. I want too burn off God energy today. I don't want to be angry today however the only pain med I have is Tramadol. I had to lie down most of the day yesterday. My knotts were back full throttle screaming at me. All I did was dance stretch, physical therapy. One set spinal pushups and two sets with the arm bands.

Long Time Traveler by The Wailin Jenny's
Was I tired? No I wanted to run. I wanted to play. I wanted to keep moving. This healthcare system is killing me. I liked living under the will rule. If I was invited somewhere at the last minute, (or another appointment to get to to keep me moving) I could only use what I carried on me each day. If I only had a bus pass (which expires in 2 hours) and a couple bucks in my pocket that invitation became my priority. If I had a way. I had a will. Come rain or shine. No matter the pain. Out here you learn something new everyday. That way I couldn't future trip. It was about Faith.

You Can't Take It With You When You Go by Rhonda Vincent
Truly if only the doctors had listened to me 15 years ago. I  wouldn't be here today. I'm tired God, of harping about those black star families and the monopoly they are playing on humanities hearts, humanities body parts, these wars, sin taxes, guilt and shame. All to pay a cobra life time death plan. It was supposed to be a short term solution to a long time problem. It's not even a part time solution to treat one part of one problem at a time. Ignore the rest. Pain is elusive. You don't see it and they don't see it, diagnose it or bother to treat it either anymore. What right did you have to plant that wheat seed and make choices about my body? All for an allergy which has been ignored for years. They blame the pollen and not the food for all the congestion and asthma. Year round cough and congestion mankind is experiencing. Plus the system created a M.A.S.S. marketing advertising solicitation and sales on humanities wellfare and the illusion of the discount marketing plan they created.

Silver Ghost by Wildwood Valley Boys.
SHIT my left arm isn't going to work today. I take glucosamine. I took all my non narcotic pain meds and all I did was stretch my legs today. I rolled over my white log. Not one snap, crackle, pop. My back is tight. It's important to keep moving and keep up the blood flow.

Rich Woman by RP & AM
Broke today. I  don't even have money for a box of tampons until Friday. I wondered what they were gonna do with my body? You know lining up my blood moon with that full moon. Sure enough they have once again done it.

The Water Is Wide by SSN.
I hate this slow shit. It put's me to sleep. I need the lyrics to feed my emotions. I need the music to feed my soul. I need that beast to move my feet and keep me dancing in the rain.

In The Gravel Yard by Blue HWY
On to my tattle tail session. Did you know that the banking system is charging the franchise's like Oh thank heaven for 7'11. They are charging extra for cash. All these ATM fees just to use your card at franchise's is absurd. How many of these cards are going into my landfills? What is the real cost of doing business this way?

Making Hay by DT (rather be making bacon)
All humanity is paying for is fees for other corporations to do business? Make you stress out working two and three jobs to pay bills and have a quality life. Hell in Vegas
The builders don't bother to pay the contractors. They hide all the homeless, in underground tunnels. They create laws to not feed humanity and get them back on their feet. The service that created the poison is no longer welcome on my rock.

Run Dufus Run by DAB
I'm angry too because I keep seeing mushroom bombs. I'm angry because going to the pain clinic they don't want too discuss my spine. They want a x Ray of my hip socket instead. They wouldn't even let me discuss my history of my spine. Instead I get asked if I was molested? What pisses me off is blame the brain not the spine. I just learned to walk the path of least resistance. No spilled seed. I just had to live with the angry misunderstood behaviors of my mother, which carried to my brother then my sister. No harm came tho me.
I was protected, things came close with my uncle and my sister smashed his arm  in a door and chewed his ass out for trying to touch me. My sister handled things. Like our mother should of done long ago. Do you know what I learned growning up around predators? I learned to listen and see the signs. It made me aware of the word's and behavior. I learned to have compassion and walk through the insanity. Step out and not participate. Kind of like out here, don't make eye contact. It's what these doctors are doing. Knowing full well  what these pills are doing to shut you down emotionally. Causing depression. Right along with the rest of this healthcare system. It's a joke. It's a never ending maze. BTW what did this government do with my corn? My families maze. Did you know someone invented a way for cars to run off water?

Give Me A Ride To Heaven Boy by TA
I have 33 disc in my spine. I can tell each spot of pain where it stems from and why? I didn't get to talk about my spine but I got cut off told they wanted a x Ray on my hip, as I was trying to explain it's stronger and not a issue at the present time. Told to take a herb for the anger tramadol causes. I pee like a screaming banchee, I go off like a lightening storm. I can't stop smoking. I certainly ain't ADHD. I'm the Indigo Mother of this rock. Well mankind just need to accept I'm a high energy person, I don't need eight hours sleep.
It was this system who sees ADHD as a bad trait. I disagree. Awareness is key. These indigo children burn allot of fuel and energy. You just have to know how to parent it and burn the heck out of them by day. Yet make it fun. I could teach my children just fine. I had flash cards, hooked on phonics, kitchen science. I wanted to know about Alex and how she learned to play a kitty cat game at like 3. Yet Kiley can sit and play house with Alex's fiends as well her own. Alex had no patience for pretend. At the age 6 and 7 when she would get uncomfortable she would revert back to this game. As far as Alex's aggressive behavior it was only to her little sister Kiley. Just like my sister with me.

Highwayman by WJ, JC AND WN
I couldn't get a conversation with Greg about her agressive behavior with her sister and I couldn't get her to stop either. I tried working with Greg on this behavior. To discuss what I'm witnessing and work together. Instead he told me this behavior doesn't happen in his house. I knew it as a bold face lie. Kiley and Alex would call me during the violent fights. They were alone allot at Greg's. They couldn't get him on the phone even after work because well it's Greg's time to relax and have fun. Not even on weekend's when he'd take off with friends and leave them home alone. I had to drop my girls off at major drinking and some drugging parties with  no adult supervision. Yet I wasn't allowed to take a pill and be able to function to see my children. No diagnisis, being ignored told I'm lying.

Everybody wants to go to heaven by AK and The Cox
When Greg took my children to a family reunion in Hawaii I asked him to keep an eye on my girls. Nothing a childhood predator likes to warm up to and fiddle and fondle than out of towner lil' child to play with. It's common sense not rocket science. Im not paranoid I'm aware. Instead it turns into a accusation not a conversation as usual.
I had to keep calling Kileys Jr. High because Greg wouldn't give her lunch money. Nor was there food to make a lunch. He wouldn't let her go across the street to eat after school at my house. She was eating green beans out of a can. I had to keep calling and leave messages to the school for over a week. So instead of Greg taking responsibility, he went to my children and once again turned it around on me. See what happens when you tell mommy things? She gets upset and over reacts for no reason. It is her bad behavior that once again is causing you (as in my xhildren) to take responsibility for my actions as a parent. I found out later that why Greg stopped getting invited to all of our old social gatherings we used to attend together is that he ignores his children.

Black and White by Cherryholmes
When I got my divorce I wasnt allowed to speak about his behavior in our marriage. There is literally no legal documentation that he is a sociopath. I was told to file suit after my divorce. Who has another ten thousand dollars? It should of all came out in one clean swoop, the counselors in treatment and Dr. Pasqually, and a psychiatrist I had to see for a year (because paxil people commit suicide), all of them said, you need to get away.
Instead my children lost their  mother, because the system put him in charge. Also I had a valid perscrption with many diagnoses of muscular skeletal, and cardiovascular pain from all these four neurologist I was sent to. This is her pain. They didn't know the cause, however it was truthful. I'm not sure that is even a neurological disorder anymore. If it is the solution is bassackwards. This healthcare system not one time diagnosed a common problem like scoliosis, or flexible kyphosis. In The beginning I couldn't get more Relpax, I could only get six. Hell those were like 3 to 400 bucks a month for me. I  kept telling them the neurological suppressors, these pills aren't working they are hurting me. I kept telling them I hurt between the shoulder blades. I couldn't carry Alex in a front pack or sling it hurt to bad.
I had too interview homeopathic practitioners for my office. So they worked on me to let me experience their diagnosis without saying anything. Kinesiology, reflexology, chiropractors, massage therapist, different types of mediums feed me information.
Michael Golden was the name of the chiropractor Greg pawned me off on once again. I had just loaded up the Ford Exploder once again on my own. Ran the kids to Brynmar earlier. Michael Golden said Colleen I think you have Scoliosis. The other homeopathic protections said, your muscles are like a rock. You are like a solid piece of wood. Vantage was the last time I spent with my father in my childhood. Fourteen or fifteen yrs old. We were at the petrified forest.
All I know is this healthcare system I blame for the lack of quality and care they have shown me over the years. It is and was inhumane to create a addiction and plant a label. Control the gateway drugs to alternative healthcare. I haven't been addicted to anything in years. I truly have no desire to feed my body black swill or pills. I'd rather get adjustments and massages. Ice and heat to cool the burning fire in my muscles. I prefer to sleep the pain away first if I can. Then if it doesn't work, or if the pain wakes me up then take a pill that works. Not make me sleep for a couple hours, I wake up feeling no better
And as the day rolls on just to dance a slow dance or go for a walk it gets worse. Tramadol makes me angry, makes me smoke like a chimney. I can't get away from a restroom, and the anger and rage. I have no tolerance and patience on these pills. Who can function.

Whiskey Lullaby BP&AK
For years I said I think my sinuses are causing some of my migraines. I was told not possible. I begged for more Relpax told no to dangerous. All I wanted was a life. I wasn't doctor hopping being married to Greg, I was getting bounced from doctor to doctor. Test after test, including developing identical fibrous tissue in both breast. White water leaking, out of both breast. My whole body was bruised. I did and over the years everything possible to get answers to my pain. I loved my children, I loved the chaos. I loved my friends, I loved the volunteer work and it being a part of my children's lives.
I wanted them to have compassion for others less fortunate. Not judgment. You know instead of complaining about something that is broke do something that is needed. Do something about it.

When I had Hailey in my care as my step daughter. I heard so many stories from her and what was really going on at that school. The crazy backstabbing, undermining, spiteful, vengeful, behavior of high school students. The violence and the creation of tolerance in the school system instead of acceptance of fellow man.

Walls Of Time
I went to the school district with what I was witnessing. I had an idea for a solution to help these teenagers have compassion for one another. Instead of blame and anger. I wanted to set up an assembly or an after school program that's not counseling so much as discovery of ones behaviors.
I wanted to have a hands on skit sessions of what is really going on. Like the use of the cell phone. The hateful messages and nasty pictures being exchanged.
The bullies and the mean girls behavior in school needs too be called out and made more aware by actually witnessing, and participating in the bad behaviors. Then have the students work on a solution together. See it, feel it, experience it. Analyze it. Talk about different perspectives and solutions. You can't solve anything just by reading a book. In order to help someone you gotta walk it, talk it and experience it in order to put your heart into anything in life.

Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing by fiddlesticks.
Beautiful but still to slow for how I feel inside.
Our Town by TF
Crystal Blue Persuasion by TJ&TS
Like A Crow Chasing A Butterfly promises promises God.
My Church by MM
Wal-Mart after they opened they hired a bunch of part time people. Most on welfare or from other countries. Then it made available for these people to work part time. Take credit for helping humanity getting another welfare job. This way trey didn't have to pay health insurance. It kept their employees just under the belt to continue to receive food stamps for ten and their families. Just this action opened the door way for all these part time welfare recipients to have no choice but to need state funding. Then all the other corporations and small business owners followed suit. There was no healthcare money issue or food issue. Not hardly a doctor over medicating humanity until this bullshit. It does not Matt the insurance or tree poison in anyone's future. Their will be no help. Yes I'm pissed about that Special K and my lil dogs. Can there be anymore denial people?

Star Of The Show by TR

OMMFLGOD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i'M ALREADY NOT HAPPY THAT I HAVE TO COME TO THE LIBRARY TO WRITE THE DIRECTOR OF THE PAIN CLINIC HOW I FEEL BEING A RECIPIENT OF THERE SERVICES. IT WAS GOING TO HURT. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO REMIND THIS HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY OF MY RIGHTS AND THEIR JOBS. i SHOULDN'T HAVE TO REMIND THEM OF MY RIGHTS AS A HUMAN BEING BEING A RECIPIENT OF A FAILURE OF A HEALTHCARE THAT COULDN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO DIAGNOSE ME IN TWENTY FIVE YEARS. THEY CHOOSE NOT TO LISTEN TO MY PAST HISTORY AND THE TRUTH OF ALL THE BULLSHIT SERVICE, HEAD GAMES AND EXPERIMENTS THEY HAVE DONE ON ME AND MY FAMILY. RIGHT ALONG WITH A COPY OF MY CIVIL RIGHTS AND A COPY OF THEIR OATH OF SERVICE THEY PROVIDE. THEN I WANT TO KNOW WHAT RIGHT THEY HAVE TO LABEL ME PRICE TAG ME AND SALE ME OFF TO THE NEXT BULLSHIT PROVIDER. ITS REALLY SAD WHEN YOUR CUSTOMER THE MENTAL HEALTH PATIENT KNOWS MORE THAN YOU ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY EGOTISTICAL PEOPLE. YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR HOW WE ARE NOT GOING TO REPEAT HISTORY ON MY SPINE? YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM ME WHAT I NEED TO GET TO MOVING EACH DAY? YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH OF MY HISTORY AND WHAT YOU DOCTORS WITH ALL YOUR MIND GAMES HAVE PUT ME THROUGH THEN WELL, YOU CAN STEP ASIDE, JUMP SHIP. TODAY I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FLOCK. I TOLD GOD BLOW IT THE FLOCK UP GOD. I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN WHO I AM. BLOW IT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW.

I Should Go To Church Sometime by TF

Then I get to the library and once again I get stopped at the bathroom door. Now it seems I have to go tot the front desk to get the keys to the code. The librarian's job is to stand at a bathroom door with a key in a public place once again. It's not just the restaurants, the drug stores and the grocery stores and the doctors who sold out humanity. It's the public library now. The last place these people had to go to come in from the rain, apply for a job like they are supposed to and another key code.

Little Bit Of You by CB

Hot! Hot! Hot! Doesn't describe how I feel about all this indignity on a service you provide. I want to know when I walk into a burger King at 11:40 am why every table is dirty, the tile is missing pieces, ice in the bin on the counter not in the ice machine, why it took 17 minutes to clean one table? I want to know why you have the right to poison me, and I have to get a code to this Kingdom, why there is one person at the counter doing three jobs during a lunch hour? I want to know why you are charging me ten bucks to poison my body, why I have to stand in line to get you tao take an extra 17 minutes to clean a table? 

Ready Set Roll by CR

Now I ask, what right do you have to be in the service industry? I want to know what right you had this whole time to burn me out, write me off, stick me in a mental institution after being raped and eighty sixed off corporate land because you say so and I didn't ask for nothing in the first place? What right did you have to short my paychecks, use me as your on call girl all hours of the day and not listen to what your employees and customers have to a say about all this disservice you provide? Now God Dammit my back hurts today, and I refuse to be laid up and stuck in a box or a bed being brain dead imbusal because I refuse to adapt to all your injustice and bullshit service. Truth be told I would of did Chiropractic and massage this whole time. Had I known and been given a choice about what you pollute my body with. So yes I will keep smoking my tobacco, it's not killing me like all these pills and allergies in my head. Your barbiturates or my weed and tobacco? My sinuses not my mind. In my neck and a ring around my head people not my mind. In my spine and all I wanted was a diagnosis and a choice. This system keeps blocking even the bathroom door.

Back-road Song by GS

Indignity injustice uncivility is my new word. You know what Eve's quote today is? Never judge a book by it's cover. Truth is, it's your last chance ever to see the true Adam and Eve, the true Mother and Father, The True brother and sister standing hand in hand. 

Leave The Night On by SH

You know what my favorite part in this whole thing is going to be? How I am going to appear like the bride of Frankenstein to the families who made choices about humanities welfare and how they fed God's flock. 

Dirt On My Boots by JP

You all followed the wrong white collars, the wrong justice system and the wrong mass, and in return you served the wrong son and the wrong family tree to feed you for life. You put your Faith in the wrong higher power and well mercy me OH my, some of you have misjudged. Some of your have had ample opportunity to turn things around. 

Let Me Love You by CL

Some of you have misjudged my godd intentions. HMMMM! Some of you have misdiagnosed to collect from the wrong pot. I wonder me Oh my, what is the penalty for harming the fertility Godess? Shall I tick down my list of fallen angels once again. The car crash my friend who pissed me off at work and died shortly after flting trhough a windshield with two other recipients I worked with. Kelly didn't your mother just committ suicide? Wasn't it me filling in for you at work when you called in at the last minute? What BS did you pull at work on me. Juan I am sorry honey, you were just caught in the fray. Sorry about that broken neck.

High fiving Kevin when you hid under my bed. What hand was your daughter missing?

What about the red head who came and sat at my table one evening when I sat alone on my own time reading a book. She approached me and wanted help. She wanted to leave her boyfriend. I told her her options and directed her to DSHS services and AA. I knew this because my fifteen year old neighbor just had a baby and I spent eight hours in the phone going through the phone book looking for a program to help her out. I spent the last three years being the primary custodian over my ill father and I spent days and days calling for serivces for him. I told her to think on it and think kof that son she raised with him. I had no issue with the guy. I met him I thought he was a nice guy.

Instead she goes home, goes off on him feeling all powerful. It backfired and she blamed me for helping her and giving her direction. After she lost her son and daughter. Hooked on Black Tar Heroine.

Close RK

That man who raped me. The one that put me in a system and learned what it's really like being a rape victim at a corporation of anywhere else. How they label you and victimize you and blame you and jail you. While the psychiatrist release me and wonder why I'm back because of a failure of a lawyer and a system. I mean after being raped, I had to be institutionalized and stripped down, told to bend over and spread my ass cheeks while another man looked through the window. I told that lady you people once again are going to make me miss all these wonderful appointments that I show up for yet they don't and it's my time and life that ticks away, not yours. Well really it is yours. Cause and effect. You know Adelaide anything that hits this lil moon affects this rock. Oh yes and guess what I discovered also. It's not about the sun this time. It's about the sunshine.

Hilarious thing is I haven't been homeless for a long time but because of this healthcare system and this justice system I just can't get out of this box of hell.

Hometown RK

You will not get one more drop of blood from me. You will not get one daughter from my family. My children are not the next generation of Handmaidens. This family is not sacrificing one more daughter this black star family IC. My children will not donate on tiny freckle or hair to this purgatory and hell. My Children do not serve anyone except by free will and free choice.

My Girl DS
My Children will not be treated like second class citizens because they don't have a ding ailing going off between there legs. They will never be second rate, they will never be second class, Like Rosa Parks, they will be free to sit anywhere after they grow up. Till then children on the floor, those seats are for the adults. They will learn their place until they are ready to fly, lovingly, compassionately, and freely.

They Can't See by MT
Do you see me? Do you hear me? Am I making myself perfectly clear? It really is a beautiful world when you take off your blinders, and step outside the box. Look up at the sky and have the grace to say thank you for having my back, no matter the cost. When your one of JC's family you don't die. He keeps his promises.

Desperado

You know what's really pissing me off? My taxi service had the kran. Finally somebody to ask, what does it say about the entity in the quaran? What's the symbolism of the entity?
When I'm Sixty Four
Is it a corporation? Is it an actual alien? He says explain what you mean entity? What's the context? That's just my question? In what context is it written? Does it mean something foreign like it doesn't belong here? How do you mean Colleen, he asks?
Every Highway
Like A foreigner from another country who is here illegally? Like this entity doesn't have a green card. It's foreign it doesn't belong. What's the context? I need to understand.
Then he says it. It's Ahmed. Bells and whistles went off in my head. I said in the beginning. Greg can't eat until Ahmed feeds him. Three days.
Bad Moon On The Rise.
Ahhh, come on God. He went on, Ahmed will feed us, give us answers to why we are here? Then something about love? I kinda phased for a moment. As my mind screamed inside with a smile on my face.
Landslide. I'm sick of this same song and dance. Back to Ahmed, the feeding, the answers. The light. No it's not what I wanted to know. One more proof of life, you might say. One of the questions, I finally get to ask. Speak freely, the answer to my prayers knocks on my doors. Not the answers I was hoping for.
I mean  God why can't it just be as easy as a Big alien ant creeping tunnels through my planet? Why can't it just take a lil raid? A lil deet bomb maybe? Noooo. Once again it's me.
Peaceful Easy Feeling by Eagles
Yeah! Holy shit doesn't even begin to describe how I feel? Like a slug.
I look the part too and so does my hovel. The sun is out and I don't want to go outside. Not even to check out the view of Mt. Rainier.
Got my hair in a fallen down braid. Two days in the same clothes. Pink and purple sports bra. Navy tank. Pink stripe thermals, A grey gravy stained t shirt. Huge zit on the side of my schnoz and I don't give a flying flock.  Get me off this rock. Out of this Universe another dimension.
Come On People now. Smile on your brother. Spirit In The Sky. Back around again huh God Damn you anyways. Once again, your a God Damn Harp, that's what you are God
Thank God I'm a Country Girl you mean.
You are a God Damn Harp. Their. I said it. Now let's get back to my handle God. What was it honey? Rainbow Cherry Blossom.
I now know why Little Bo Peep lost her sheep? Lazy ass lil boy blue asleep behind the hay perhaps. Like finding a needle in a haystack. You bet your sweet ass this mama's gonna need some 409 to clean up this diamond in the rough. Just look at the mess you boy's left your mother?
ICFire and IC Rain. Round and round we go. Ring around the ROSIE? Pocket full of POSIE. What's the lock and heart key nursery rhyme I'd read to my children? It was a book I held onto from my childhood.
Fortunate Son by CCR.
Yeah well God you might want to ask him how he feels about all this? Especially the BETROTHED part. I just bet he's going to take that part about as well as I have.
Mister Bojangles.
I've had a two year adjustment, to unload all this shit.
Here Comes The Son. Please God change your tune already. I don't care what Pandora box I open. It doesn't matter the genre I pick. You keep playing the same shit.
American Pie. Yup. It seems I'm the crazy aunt Jean this time. This wall flower is the wild flowers. I knew I loved pink houses and wild flowers the day I saw them surrounding my sisters house. All that drinking I did standing in front of the judge God. I know prohibition comes to mind.
Here's To You Misses Robinson. The Graduate. Is this education about over daddy?
ALMOST HEAVEN by JD
Highcotton by Alabama

Rocky Mountain High by JD

Cecelia by S&G
Who am I God? Who am I really this time around?
First comes the toad, the birdies, the lil boy's. The fly swatter my grandmother carried searching me out? I'd be hanging by the train tracks with the rest of the bums. Pink apartments and a dairy of all things God.
Dream by NGDB
The Lakota woman on my bed, the wolf in my closet. The little girls in red dresses climbing on him? Then I find out the Dog standing outside my window is a Sphynx. The bags of rocks I'd drag under my bed.
The ants, the bee's, the Colts, the shapes in the clouds. The Gold fields, farms, trees, and the rainbows.
Like A ROCK by BSSBB
Onto Barnes, Ross Street, The Cowboy, whittling wood, standing by my door. The rainbow egg to my left. That flag and my dreams, being chased by vampires and Frankenstein with my step brother Keith. We escaped on a motor cycle. To discover my brother sat in juvie right up the road on the left? I was eight years old. My brother 16. Then I  moved onto the Olympics and Elvis Presley the King died. I 've cried inside ever since. I  was eight.
If I Could Save Time In A Bottle.
Rainer Oregon left in storms, my first ritual at five. It was my first
Highcotton Alabama
Family grassroots ritual, performed by Tammy and this lil beasty. She packed my lil doorway of my lil mouse with grass for protection, from any tainted spilled seeds. Black snakes, Oregon my first drowning. Rescued by sister. My second drowning, grabbed by the hand, cousin James. My Catholic Irish grandmother Catherine Anne gave me my first rosary. A cross necklace with the Lord's prayer. Another family protection came along at just the right time, age 5.
Dude Lookin Out My Back DoorCCR
Bad Bad LeRoy Brown
Then onto index street. The Sentinal, and the black things waking me up shaking my bed. My first prayer. The Lord's Prayer, My first protection chant, In the name of Jesus Christ I Rebuke You.
In my room my brothers Gold Bible, a picture of JC hung over my door. My Precious Moment's, Love Is.
My brother escaped jail one last time, flew out a window in a love bug, Christmas Eve. It was a sign that said curve ahead, as it turns out, it wasn't a curve up ahead, low and behold it was right there.
Let It Be
He layed in a Coma for three weeks, hooked up to tubes looking like a vampire my mother said.  The date of his death God? Was the date Kileys birthday God? Is the date of my brothers death, my daughter's birth? Please God this I don't want to know.
Tiny Dancer by EJ
The first black shadow Ross Street, I'd scream run across the hall and climb in bed with my sister. Truly the only time she was happy to see me. I'd lie awake and there standing in her doorway was a black shadow.
HERE CUMS THE SON by The Beatles.
Are you nuts God? Are you mother flocking nuts God? Beam me up Scotty,
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by EJ
Brothers, Doors, Sisters, the family ritual, the awakening God? The Rise of the New Dawn?
Oh flock, no you don't. All I have now are bombs going off in my head. Just what did I agree to God?
Danny's Song
Are you mother flocking kidding me?I'm the second coming? Flock You. FLOCK YOU ALL. I HATE YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN. YOUR JUST A BUNCH OF BITCHES AND ASSHOLES. EVERY GOD DAMNED LAST ONE OF YOU. 
My Children God? GET THE MOTHER FLOCK AWAY FROM ME.

YOU DRAG THIS SHIT OUT FOR TWO FLOCKING YEARS AND YOU SET ME UP AND BETROTHED ME TO BOOT?
Hotel California
Your hot God, but this Hot? Not even your precious son, who as far as I can see got the easy way out this time around.
Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me by EJ.
After all this shit God, that is all that boy will be eating. His service work had better be performed daily. Milk this mother, rock and roll me. Get me off this rock God. God Damn you. You set me up once again. What a naive fool I've been.
Amie By PPL
Don't try buttering me up this time. That shit ain't gonna work this time. There ain't enough weed fields in my garden enough to make me happy.
Brown Eyed Girl by VM
Nice try. Not gonna happen. I don't give a flying flock about past memories and God times. I want this torture done. We better be knocking boots all over this rock that's all I got to say. Your still an asshole BTW.
Lonely People by America
Good one God. Now I'm gonna, go outside, smoke pace dance and cry my tears. Red rocks, black feathers, my wings, our markings. Who the mother flock knew. Not me anyway. Who knew tree was such a thing as me? NIAVE NATIVE MORE LIKE IT.
Cat's In The Cradle by HP
I loved this song growing up. I knew just how he felt. My father never came home either.
Get Together by The Youngbloods
Fitting God. I'm still mad. I loved this song too.
Dixie Land Delight by Alabama
Yeah onto the next step God? Good times, that's a good dancing song.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Israel IZ K.
Carefree Highway by Gordon Lightfoot.
Now your talking. That sounds nice.
Thank God Your A Country Boy by JD.
Landslide by FWM
Can I do this God? Fitting song. Just how I feel. Melancholy and longing inside my heart. I feel so stuck God.
American Pie by DM
Omg your flocking killing me with just tree truth in your music selection today. Thanks. Thanks. It's finally sinking in all these Dawnings are sinking in. Oh please God get Trump to blare his horns. Let him be a good calling? Let him be a blessing in disguise? Let him be a true brother in arms to circle around me and hear my words. Hear my families chants. Hear my families cries. It's about our nation, it's about our planet. Our universe. Please God let him here me when I say let the money go. The money tree is just a decoy.
The Sound of Silence by S&G
All I ever wanted was peace. Peace on earth. I get handed this crock of shit. A heavy load of shit at that.
Sister Golden Hair by America
Please God, let him hear my cries. Please God let him know how sorry I am. I tried to tell him but somehow I  just couldn't get the word's to come up at the right time.
Spirit In The Sky by NG.
Good one. So telling this morning just in the music and what we as mankind got coming up. Humanity people. The love of a nation. The love of family. The love of the son that you extend from in this families tree line. Turns out is a free line, to the good stuff. Your higher power, your vessel, you DNA and your families code of honor. Right down to your heart. Your life, your light and the Truth about God's love and his plans for your extended life time plan.
IC Fire and IC Rain
Please God let him here me when I say bring on the storm. I  don't care what it takes. It's about our wheat fields and in this FAMILY we are the cure for all that ailes humanity. We don't need a corporation with no heart to feed our family love and everlasting light.
DUST IN THE WIND. By Kansas
This is the Truth, my brother. It's about our families code of honor. From the heavens to the earth and these gardens. Eve DUST of the earth and Adams rib. Well honey it's about that Apple that Eve gave Adam in the garden.
Fire In The Mountain by TMTB
It's about this families stock exchange. It's about the mountain's the sun, the garden's. This families tree of life. The code of honor is one love as two heart's entwine to shut down this enterprise. It's now or never to bring this entity to light.
Peace Train by Cat Stevens
I am lady justice. It's about our country and our families pride. We always have family Kyle. This family don't leave this rock for nothing Kyle. We can't ever be bought off Kyle. We don't give into terrorism Kyle.
Goodnight by LaRocca
You Made It Right by TOMB.
Yes God. Yes God I'm seeing the light in the tomb alone. Fitting song. As I sit on this throne letting off steam. You know that leak I sprung. As I sit here stopping and starting. I dribble away. You can call me Puddles. It's going to be one of those days IC.
Listen To The Music by TDB
I don't care what it takes. Just turn up the music in your head and heart. Just do whatever it takes to keep moving.
You Can't Have It All by AJ
Who says God? All you need is a lil' courage, a lil' light, a lil' spark of hope. One tiny tear drop to bring back the light.
Closer To You By NP&TLC
I'm doing the best I can anyways. On any given day. If only That Thy Will was really my will. If only for one day. That one moment in that right place. At just the right time. Kismet  chemistry, or Destiny?
Folsom Prison Blues by JC
Please God get me out of this box, this jail, get me out of purgatory and hell God. I'm tired of rooting around this family tree, digging for answers.
Nothing Like The Lonely by PPL
I've done the best I could, to turn around and walk away so many times. Yet every MOTHER FLOCKING day a sign, a flower. A red, a seed, a garden and well honey no matter how hard I tried to stop it all roads and highways lead straight to you.
Ne Mosquitos Path by Joan of Arc
Wow not a nice song. Angry guy. Yet nothing wrong with putting your anger in words and song. Feed the emotion, vent the emotion.
Down On Main Street by BS&TSBB
I love people. I love people watching. The behaviors, the spark of fire. The light of life. It don't matter where your standing when it comes to light. Over the highway under a freeway. Just find her.
I've Got A Name by JC
Hard O or Soft O, I don't care what you call me. Just come to me with love in your heart and God intentions and I may even let you lead once in awhile.
In My Life by The Beatles
I Am A ROCK by S&G
Fishin In The Dark by NGDB
You bet your sweet ass we're gonna fish. We're gonna root around. We're gonna rough and tumble. We're gonna play just the way I like to play. Under the stars, in the woods, we're gonna do nothing but feel each other all up and down this families way. Freedom to play with my Big Beastie is just what I need.
Back to Operator and JC
I was hoping it wasn't real. That's why I'd hang up. I didn't want to know where this was leading either. I didn't want to know what the feathers meant or why it was gonna hurt. My pride is my pain. My pain is my family pride. Who knew?
Take It To The Limit by Eagles
Against The Wind by BS&TSBB
You have know idea. I'm still here. I ain't taint and I certainly ain't dead or short on oxygen. I ain't suicidal and I assure you I'm seeing things perfectly clear.