Woman/Amen

Thank God 4 this woman/ amen by Dierks Bentley. Boy what a morning I have had? Once again sitting through more red tape waiting for referrals? Then the return call to see if they have every thing? Then the call back to the office to ask them what they still need after about one to two weeks? Depends if it's paper fax or by the computer? Then more phone calls and messages telling me the different stages things are rolling along. This is a full time logistics job, but God Dammit when I'm done I'm done. If you try to walk away from the phone miss a call your fucked.

Still The One Orleans
Looking at my notes in the last month, the pain clinic I was referred to has chiropractic. A whole set up of every thing I need in one place, except massage. Still a doctor to work with me to walk me through the stages as my body declines and things shut down and turn back on. You have no idea. I was told by St. Fran that I need to see a general practitioner at there HMO. Funny, Valley, and University of Washington are affiliates to this HMO. Plus the UW Valley doctor computers don't link up in Federal Way. No one in this area treats what I have.

If We Never Go Inside/Alkaline Trio
It took four bus rides just to go pick up the pain meds after surgery because hopelink doesn't take you anywhere but to the doctor. No pharmacy, no store, and no chiropractor unless they are affiliated. I had to watch my language with hopelink last time because I said adjustment and I didn't add that it's my osteopath someone who can write drugs. Unless the insurance says so. My surgeon will not treat the Kyphosis. The hardening. The crone that slips out and stays. I can't get a real muscle relaxer to help with this stage, because remember I can't get an adjustment, or do my PT so my spine muscles are weakening in this process.

All On Me/DD
In the mean time two more doctors who have seen me for the last two plus years can't get a real muscle relaxer prescribed. I have not stepped out of alignment with all this bullshit running me ragged. Hell I had to chase the hopelink taxi down last week. They start the calls minimum a half hour before with a recording saying they are on their way. During my doctor appointment too. If you don't answer this recording by the second time they assume you don't want the ride. Truth is I already scheduled them to be there by a certain time? Fifteen minutes before or after. This is this taxi companies new procedure. I chewed ass. All the way up and down, this is after being left at the hospital after surgery. So Fuck you all.

Undone/Gordon Lighfoot
On the 23rd I called the Ortho surgeon and all the other referrals and on this one I was told to wait, they needed my records. Today they said it was the fifth of March they let me know. Not true yet it was neither here nor there because while it sits in red tape we didn't know if I needed to see the vascular surgeon yet. I got a call back from the orthopedic doctor and you would not believe it? Well actually yes, we should by now. They need an MRI. An order was put in for an MRI already by my general practitioner to at least get my lower back started. My LB muscle spasm is back and for the last four days, my legs and cramping is worse. Couldn't even walk 3 days ago. It's gotten worse.

Love Will Keep Us Alive/Eagles
Yet my face pain is back. My sinuses won't drain. I have to take a decongestant and Yeti pot every day just trying to prevent this migraine. Oh yes and my allergist doesn't want me to take a decongestant. Turns out they are bad for you. I'm like Oh my God! He goes just stick with your allergy pills and sprays. I have six things plus I yeti pot. When this roles through I'm fucked so of course I have to keep running and gunning to that pharmacy to get a decongestant behind the counter and get it all documented. ID every time. My own doctor and another PA tried putting in for a muscle relaxer a real one, and the insurance turned it down. Giving me the stuff that I have taken over and over, for the mild pain. Their is no touching this.

Just When I needed You Most/RV
Of course I have no pain meds. I got a smaller dose to last longer. The prescription the insurance approved not only has caffeine, and really I was wanting to rest. I sleep three hour intervals with this bullshit as it is. Up before the sun everyday in the last three years. The prescription also has aspirin. I can't take aspirin for about another 6 to 7 weeks. Yet the Ortho surgeon told me he turned it down not only because he's not contracted with this insurance but I can't get an MRI. Why? They turned it down from the doctor that has to write the referral to get me there.

How Do I Live/LR
I've been fighting like hell to keep my left hand and arm functioning. I am pissed. I finally got my answer to the surgery I need next didn't I? I need a the vascular surgeon. Wouldn't it be nice if these doctors could just do their mother flocking job? I am back to well pretty much square one because I for the last four days I have been popping Imitrex again. The non narcotic. The first and second day it worked but this headache didn't feel quite right again. By yesterday evening. I was full blown and I had to ask M. to loosen up around occipital bone and we discovered on my own again that this is the cause of my face, my whole neck right in the surgery spot went back to the day I had surgery. My left arm has been weak and my fingers and left hand hate me. Lucky I can type one handed.

Wave Goodbye/Thee Unsung
I was blacking out on the left side of my brain again. Hey it just took about what 3 to 19 for this diagnosis? Then my right leg on my walk yesterday and I couldn't bend my right toes. I had to stop. I'm just done. Then these last couple days haven't helped the inside of me, emotionally?

Carefree Highway/Gordon Lightfoot
After every thing I have been through these last few days have about unhinged me. I'm taking my rock back? At first it kind of went over my head. Walking along yesterday it dawned on me, I'm taking my rock back? Oh shit he's right? I mean angelic heiarchy their is nothing Michail to do. Know that is not the way I want things, but if push comes to shove timing wise? He's right. The good sign it snowed in North Bend April first and Easter. The Joker the fool is back around.

Far Behind/Candlebox
Funny on American Horror Story the psychopath hiring the clowns to kill those who protest, name is Kyle. It comes back around. Then I saw a preview for a movie where the joker and the fool are psychopaths? Then over here on Carnival' I got that tree of life story line and who has it? The best part the title "Rainbow Cherry Blossom." My call handle when I was a kid. Damnation? Same fight different era. You know the way this mother see's it these sci fi's all have one thing in common? Slavery. A depleted rock feeding the machine. Whose body parts are being used to recreate life? The human race. Oh but you don't care do you? Funny my mother always said, Colleen if your in Seattle and you get lost? Get on Cherry Street and hit I-5 you'll find your way home.

All Right Now/Free
To think Kiley Rae at the age of four did that Keanu Reeve move one morning? Where he extends his left hand and squats forward. Then he waves him in. Kiley opens her hand and she had two AA batteries in her left hand. I asked what's this? She said "you know mommy. They run on batteries." Yup this one shoots straight for the heart in just a few words. Still not happy about those night terrors she had all those years? With her right arm reaching out behind me screaming "MOMMY." I try to hold onto her one question while still in the womb, when do you want me to be born? I wanted to cry right there in front of everyone. Astounded that my own unborn child knows how tired I am on the inside. She is willing to risk her life to be born before she is ready. I told her to pick. I can hold out until she's ready to come."

Desperado/Eagles
Flocking eagles. For the last three days it keeps playing these guys. She chose February 17th. The night I danced around that pit, Gary made me put on a baby blue t-shirt with a eagle and flag. With the number nineteen. I kept hearing two more. Greg is a ten back black but I have 12. Thank God she was early still. Alex was three weeks early and smaller. The Knights of the Templar were assassinated by the catholic church Jan 13th. Alex's birth date. My quaking rock. Yeah she was born quaking. Nineteen and a half hours labor without Greg and I had been up the two nights before. She wrapped a cord around her neck. I knew the whole time this one does not want to be born. After she was she would not let me put her down. I tried to carry her in the front pack but it hurt to bad right between the shoulder blades.

I Need You/America
My rock, my light comes back around once again. It had better because I could use some natural healing any way I can get it to keep moving. 

Baby I'm A Want You/Bread
I Hate California/UK
Landslide/FM
Oh God please do. In the beginning I wrote we three are the perfect storm. I can't wait to do unto others as others have done unto me.
Leather And Lace/Stevie Nicks
You know it. I got my tat at Harley too.
When A Man Loves A Woman/Michael Bolton. Bring that bolt of lightening Michael. Somethings got to put a fire under you. Right along with that Gregorian that I need to fall out of the sky. Boom! Gods fist or Thor's hammer I really don't give a fuck today. I have almost killed Michail about three times this morning. In the middle of my writing I walk in from smoking and I catch him looking at my computer. I have one rule with M. when he gets up during my time and I'm writing with my head phones on? Don't bother, don't touch.
Make It With You/Bread
Under My Wheels/Bonzo
Joker/Eagles