That's My Story/CR
Still connecting. I keep going back to the pig. The first time it came up in my life? When I stopped eating ham? What the trigger was? What family I was with when I started eating ham again? Who served me ham the day I was handed a 2 page document saying I can't enter anywhere or do anything in my office except be a patient in the waiting area. When I had legal custody of my father, he's in a nursing home. His 3rd home in 3 years. During this time of all times, I'm in the middle of another big project, taking out a wall in my house. My father, my children, Greg's family, still not knowing it is I whom came dead last in everything.Not that Greg's parents would care.
I had no choice but 2 open a Chiropractor office. Greg's income went from 5 thousand bucks a month, it slowly dwindled down to 1500 bucks.
If I didn't beat feet we'd lose everything. Especially that piece of shit house. I had a plan in 2 day's. I get a call from him telling me I have 2 do my part on the office physically. With my own 2 hand's. This is what I mean by no credit. I was in there the night of my father's funeral doing my part. He didn't C the game plan. The legwork going in2 it. The going in2 Issaquah Lowe's and Je Depot pricing and picking up everything I need 2 begin with. Drawing up plans. Dealing with the city. Dealing with signage. U let Mary and Greg after all this my part bullshite. Running again 2 Issaquah whenever they needed more of sumthing. It's par for the course for me 2 drop what I'm doing 2 pack up my kid's and run last minute errands 4 him. Did he one time help me when I asked 4 or needed help? Nope. I let these 2 blackmail me by getting billed 50 percent of his school loans if I said anything about what they did.
Knowing what I know now from then, I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Where was your so called blanket justified system? Flock U don't U ever tell me what to be thankful 4. Jaded is right. I said to Kevin when he called me that and explained what it meant. That I don't believe in love. I'm saying in my head, "well if the shoe fit's." I don't believe in love? I don't believe in a happy ending?
Living Blind/CB
Blind Justice, in a system that we have no justice. River of denial not just upstairs. Everywhere. Righteousness. U know what is missing on Justice's statue? A blind fold. I keep feeling like I discovered something huge yesterday morning? I did. Trying to reah it again. I do know what I have connected in my life. Those pigs. Who R the pig's anyway's? Is it the cop's? R they the pig's that Jesus put the demon's in the pig's?
Big Green Tractor/JA
Yup just one way. I mean we have our very sick white meat the chicken's whom R sick before they get to the slaughter. They serve us up. They can't keep up. SO we R served this poison. Then pork become's my new white meat. Who own's the pork industry. Corporate America. They get a write off serving us this shite. What do we get? What do they get? We get put in a black box any way they can. They poisoned the host any way they can to feed an industry. U passed law's Big Brother to support this. I hate U I hate I hate U.
Her Man/Ga
mother flocking tax machine. One thing I remembered was the pig. When my father first expalined why they called him Pij. Wgen I was kittle I asked my father why does everyone call him Pij? My father explained that he was only 2. He wasn't happy about having a little brother. He was it and he liked it that way. He explained. I was trying to say pig., it came out pij. The name stuck for the rest of Richard's life. A teacher in CAlifornia whom married a Penny the copper penny. Another teacher.
Modern Day Bonnie And Clyde/TT
The next time pig's and ham came up. Gwen's mother Sue Noon. The new CHristian. Christian Crazy for JEsus CHrist. Wait till she find's out JC was sitting at her table all those yars. She chose Mr. 666. Not the daughter. The little gorl that she saw no crazy or mental illness anytime ever. Gwen myself and Sue visited a nursing home with Gwen's dog named Peppy. Gwen had to bathe and trim Peppy B4 we went. A woman in a wheelchair and no nose just 2 hole's in her face, like a pig. She is scooching her feet in her wheel chair moving closer to me and gwen arm's out stretched. The number four keep's coming up here. I kept thinkink this happened in fourth grade, but I know we didn't start hanging out until the fifth grade. That night at dinner Sue served mushy ham. Not falling apart at the bone. If this ham had a bone I had no idea. I got a lash of that woman with a pig nose, I didn't eat ham again.
Red Rock Road/B And D
I didn't eat ham until Greg's mother's ham. I didn't eat bacon for many year's after I learned from an hrbologist the worm's that to much pork leaves in your intestines. The next time I had ham was Mary Cochran Stone. The day B4 my surgery that was planned month's B4. He call's me telling me I have to meat with Mary Stone. We had had a argument just B4. I thot Greg hired someone to catch up the basic book's. I had been asking him since that winter to hire help. He didn't want to pay out. I was slammed. Slammed. It's sumwheree in here where the firsttime in our whole marriage afterall this bullshit hearing I have to do my part. DO my part hand's doing sumthing in that office. I have to do my part on my part that while he's earning 1500 enuf for our mortgage. I'm running and gunning with 2 lil girls in tow pricing finding space and dealing with the city. The floor plan. All that we needed in this office. I priced everything down tothe penny.
Bless This BRoken Road
WHen that man showed up at my door telling me he's having an affair. He could of killed us if he'd been mental. The mental one was my husband whom truly ignored me during this. He didn't acknowledge anything about his wife after all these years. Now she has two daughter's/ All this time? All these year's is about to be gone in one clean swoop. I hate this man. I hate this man. I hate this man.The only ham I ate B4 this was my grandmother Lilies. I stopped as a child then it was this black cloud family.
Kerosene/CL
In Hawaii, when Gwen and I went. It must of been about or it was 16. I've been to remember ezaclty when I lost my virginty. It was Easter Weekend, must of been 1984. I made Kevin wait 6 months. I was fifteen the summer we met. I don't know then what came first my birthday or Easter? When Gwen and myself were in Hawaii this is where I first heard about boar's. This is also the 3rd and 4th place I almost drowned. The fourth, honeymoon. The toilet bowl. One of the five views from round top park. I didn't know then what I now have learned that at any serious situation when it came down to me or mine, my children. All he did was place his hand on my shoulder and laugh. Serious anddeadly the same reaction forthe rest of my life. Then after he'd finish with me, 2 hours of him treating me like I'm inhuman and I don't exist in bed. I am now just an unfeeling hole. Afterhe'd finish flip flopping me aroung like a rag doll kitty cat in bed, I'd turn over and that is when I'd C 2 human being's with boar's head's manking bacon. Sumtime's my tear's ran quietly. Sumtimes just inside.
Love Story/TS
U know what God. I don't care who the flying flock U R. I don't feel love still. Just pain. Aside from begging for Greg's, Michael's and then Kyles soul. I don't feel an overwhelming love from U. Regardless of my survival so far, feeling what it is like feeling my unborn children, and others whom have vrossed on. U drop to your knees hand in the air U can't help it. It just is. I don't feel that/ Just because your here now and I discover back then. Later like an awakening. U all have doled out your own justice each in your own way upon me. U have been there all along. Okay so you've been there all along. YOu've been inside all along. Why don't I feel love from U other than U have my heart. U R ready at the helm? I have faith. I feel protected, but love I don't feel.
Love sumbody like U/KU
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