Mirror Mirror on The Wall

I thought that Cassiopeia held a wand but  its a mirror. I was messing with Star Walk 2. This time she moved and that's when I saw the wand, the straight line in her hand turn into a mirror. Of course it took me back to a conversation my siste and I had. Why dies she nit pick me. Saying thing's like stand up straight, tuck your stomach in. I mean I should of been anorexic or bulimic with this woman. I had to ignore her. It made no sense. She needed to take a look in the mirror at herself. My sister told her one night when the 3 of us were at a restaurant, Zion was starting in. My sister said why do U do that to her. Nit pick the fuck out of her. U haven't weighed her weight since high school. It's right here that I discovered how she used us for attention. She'd show up at my sisters work, with people she worked with. She was loud. The more drinks, the louder and more embarrassing she got. The reason why she'd sit me down and ask me to hand over my stuff, including my favorite coat was because she got attention. Weather I'm there or not. She got to use me and my sister to use us and our time for her attention. I mean just think of the conversations she has at work now? Making plans for me to cut her friends hair on my time, but she get's attention. What my sister doesn't realize is that after she moved back, I was sat down by Zion and Kimmie wanting me to trade my Mickey Mouse plate set for hers. They were identical but the vinyl picture on my sisters had 1 plate that the vinyl was folded over then glazed over. Zion is telling me how it's a collectors because it has a flaw. I'm thinking then why doesn't she keep tU hem? I didn't care anymore. How many times have I done this and been lied to but hey, Zion get's to step in and make it happen. Of course U remember the story when I ran away in the 9th grade when she showed up drunk in my room telling me how my father never wanted me. How he sent my sister a watch when she was 10. I was 5 big difference. Going on about how he does not love me. I'm sitting there thinking and U R love? Give me a break. She said if I want to leave to go. This is after her standing over Tim Ellis pointing her finger down at him laughing. Jerry and I were horrified. She had already caused a scene thinking she's funny going to far. The next day she was taking me shopping for a new wardrobe. This is par for the course when she fucks up. She's bragging that the same police officer showed up with me that showed up with my sister and brother when they ran away. First of all impossible. She's making it sound like her children are the problem and that the policeman couldn't believe that another one of her kids would run away. I looked at her in the mirror and I said from the backseat, "U C that mirror that your looking at me thru? U might want to take a look at that mirror and look at the common denominator between U and your 3 children and just why we ran away. This woman has always threatened me. As an adult with my car threatening to take it. Threataening to call the police if I go to Bellingham to C Greg. She didn't have an issue B4 this when I went to visit friends. She just demanded more and more laughing making a joke. Smoking in my car lighting a cigarette in my apartment with my room mates saying I'm her mother and she will smoke where she God Damn well pleases. I never understood this with her thinking she's my mother and she has rights. To threaten me, because she was co signer on my car? My oldest Alex, I don't know some Bdaite's just the sign's, and I also asked if she told Zion Mary where I'm at, that only U and Kiley have been here. My daughter once again tell's me I have to let it go. My answer U have no idea how much I have let go. I told her she know's nothing about me. She doesn't understand that I have the right to cross the bridge and love from the otherside when some1 has this negative of an impact in my life. Only when I was fine or down. TO find out who I really am? RU NUTS! They have been showing me how much a sociopath doesn't acknowledge anything. Taking me back to these two. To humiliate me in front of my daughter and her friends. All to show she's in control. It's sick. It's just sick. For 5 years she was pretty good. She wasn't threatening me or causing trouble, until my divorce. I tried for over a year to get this woman to stop calling me over and over threatening me that she's gonna call Greg and say I'm doing drugs. I don't need this headache in my life. I don't need these two making unrealistic demands bullying me. It is U big brother who removed any control I had in my life. All because U set up boxes and U industrialized me for something I did because my lawyer told me to cover my but. Knowing of the set up. Coming in after 10 years taking my work and finally telling me to take a break. That I was to go out every other weekend with my friends. That he will also go out in-between weekends. For years and years. I had to stop anything I was doing for me and my girls. Every time he either didn't show up so I can do what I needed to do, for personal growth. He made things harder like not paying for recycling so now I have to keep loading up the back of the truck and go to the dump myself. All because I had to do my part. I finally have sumthing of my own. Sunthing that I can still be a parent and have flexibility for fund raisers and volunteering in the class or school trips. If they R sick or need to go to the doctor. Immunizations too. He handed it all over to him and Mary. Did not acknowledge but blame me for becoming an alcoholic. Of course I'm drinking more. Im not the designated driver. I have permission. What is Greg doing during this time, telling me I have to give up sumthing. Sum comfort or necessity. This is after lectures on food and groceries. Lectures on a heat bill that he has no clue what it is. He's now getting up in the middle of the night when he thot I was asleep and turn it off. Just like he constantly unhooked the speedometer on my car. Constantly fighting for the basics. U big brother now I have to prove myself to U and U made it court mandated. Yet I had no defense. I no longer had control of anything. I'm so done. I'm done. I wouldn't fuel my flames my anger. Rage. U made me go off topic once again. back to that mother flocking mirror and people using me once again. Once again I had the right to walk away, but no I had to pay. His porn turning it on in the bedroom when I'm trying to sit down and read? That's why I wouldn't go 2 bed. I remember telling him, U do absolutely nothing for me. Nothing that I ask. I have kid's and animals on me all day, I have no more energy to give to someone who does nothing for me. Besides. He made me nauseous, I didn't want to be touched anymore. Zion Mary I find out after Jim moved in with me about an antique mirror. Zion once again just had to have something some else had. Just didn't get off it. She bet him that he wouldn't even get a kiss from me. That no one get's in my pant's. We finally went to a movie and dinner. Steak and lobster. Not planned. WHen I told Zion the next day, she pushes me down and say's I want that. Later this woman is keeping my children's dog 2 make them pay once again. Hell she drops it off unexpectedly how many years ago. I saw her in town grabbed my dog out of the window. I'm standing there and not saying a word. She pokes her nail in my 3rd eye and call's me a whore. Then she goes to my car walks to my window and pokes me in the forehead. I said to my girls get out of the car and hug your grandmother, I'm done. Zion slams the door and say's no she's not going to hhug them. We went to a park my girls and I in tears. This is the behavior I tried to protect them from. I never expected my children to never believe a word I said. They're all excuses. Nothing I can do about it now. Yet their is. I can blow this mother flocking planet up and send these slave driver's to hell. I should write a section on every time I physically or spiritually met with Jesus Christ. It's all thru here from about end of September 2016. That navy blue t-shirt and the man from my dreams? The one who only had his back to me. Hell I didn't even realize until a couple years later that I wore this exact t-shirt on this journey. I've discovered something in the book of David. Not sure what television show sent me here. Oh yea, Astrodmus? To understand the main point's of what he's talking about. Next chapter.