I'm Being Rude

I always knew within the first three weeks I'm pregnant. It was a dizzy black energy drain. I can't keep my eye's open. We had a friend visiting from California, Greg call's telling me I need to come over. I told him I'm pregnant, I can't keep my eye's open, let alone get off the couch. He tells me I'm being rude. He show's up back at his parent's house, sits at my feet, telling me I'm being rude. Truly I barely noticed. My head dropped back to the couch and I fell asleep again.

(Note*Greg and I were watching a comedy, it was a delivery room skit. She's saying to her husband "you did this to me". I'm laughing and Greg said"if I blame him for the pain, he will walk out." This man and family took the enjoyment out of anything that was supposed to be my day. I wasn't allowed to have any emotions about anything. They confused assertiveness with aggressiveness. Just in the deflection of behavior at their dig's that I ignored they were blaming)

I had been up for 3 night's straight and going to work. On the 3rd night the contraction's kicked in. I was up all night on all four's alone. Greg slept on the couch. At 4:30 a.m. I came out to wake him and tell him I'm ready to go in. I have a contraction and go down on all four's grabbing my abdomen. He stand's up over me and ask "if I'm sure if I'm in enough pain to go in? 191/2 hours of labor with this one. Born 3:16 p.m. 13 people showed up in the delivery room. Greg is making his phone calls and I'm tired feeding Alex. Someone wanted to talk to me and I wasn't up for conversation just yet. Greg tells me I'm being rude.

About four months pregnant with Kiley, I have Alex with me at my aunt's house. My grandma Lily was on her death bed. My grandparent's were like my parent's. I spent 2 month's at a time with them. They took care of me when I was sick. They were my neighbor for a couple of years. They protected me from my mother's abuse. I call Greg to check in and tell him I'm not coming home yet. We were having people over to paint the following day. Greg told me I had to come home. I'm being rude letting these people who have had plans to come here. Truth is Greg didn't want to pick up the paint and supplies. Get the mini keg and pre-order pizza's. Go to grocery store. No that's my job.
  I had no choice but to leave Alex with my mom. On the way home, traffic is heavy for a Saturday evening on I5. IC a trans am or corvette speeding on the side of the road to my right. I'm in the far left lane. Slowing down, keeping my eye on him. He pulls in at a location that is barely one car length, clips an RV. I watch it flip over four times in the air. It lands upside down 6ft in front of my truck. I called it in and got them out. I'm sitting on the hood of the truck with three policeman standing four feet in front of me. They didn't even notice or ask whose truck is this?
  When I got home Greg was lying on the couch. Doing that V under his lip with his right hand, and all he said was "so you almost died today?" That was it. Here I am pregnant with his child, and we have Alex. He has no thot process for any of our well being.

Rana and I would say hi by saying hey B. (this was the summer that Greg is setting me up) We have children so we can't say hey bitch, so we say hey B as our greeting. I get Rana a bar of soap that says BITCH engraved in it. She thinks it's hysterical, and yet Greg tells me that that was rude of me.

It was also at this point that if I made a joke Greg would just look at me. I remember I was with our group of friends I made a joke about myself. Once again the whole room stops and looks at Greg whom is staring at me. Later (this is his new thing) he tells me that no one knows when I'm joking. Greg liked me because of my sense of humor. All Greg does and his mother is joke around. Being the life of the party. Now all of a sudden I can't make a joke. Being with Greg he sucked the air out of the room,especially with me. Someone compliments me on the valences I made, and he says "oh that's nothing." Wes said when we put in a new lawn. wow! Your wife is allot stronger than she looks. I'm hauling, dumping and spreading dirt.  Greg just looks at me and goes MMMM! Nothing else.

After both my pregnacies Molly had said to Greg when he wanted to go home early, What about your wife. Both times he waved his hands and said, oh she'll be fine.

When Adam tried talking to Greg about Greg removing my name off of every thing and replacing me with Mary, What about your wife? Hire her to do the books, which is what I had been asking him to do since winter. He said nothing and didn't talk to Adam as much after that.