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Here It GOes Again by OK GO

Knocking on death's door. I wrote something about death by death I recon. 

Alien Ant Farm/ Smooth Criminal

U have no idea, the ant's that came around. Piss Ant another name by Zion. My first experience with an ant farm. Oregon. It all goeas back to the heart. All the way to Sunnyvale, the trail of ant's. Counting 9 ant mound's every morning. Then all the ant's around me and Gary. Huge mounds. The guy that came back to our site with an ant skull. Well it looked like. That's what Gary said. I said those ghost eye's have no light in them. The ant's I was working at. I took everything I had gathered that day and put in my pocket. Not knowing why? I adventually find out. 

I placed everything around 2 cables that met in the middle. I started moving my hand's. Laughing. Not really knowing why? I just go along for the ride. There were thousand's of ant's. Just thousand's. Huge ones not fire ant's. This was also the first time, I started to take notice that where ever I stop and dance at, chant. stomp, sing cry. What an emotional roller rife this has been. 

U2 Vertigo

No getting off this ride. The next day I went back and hardly any ant's. Oh yes, behind me a sewrer grate. Stephen King is not wrong. Gary the other seer, mostly when high. He to does whatever they ask and they provide. He said he had a cousin named Stephen King. Castle Rock, and standing at the window was a shadow of a black wolf. My cousin Shelly saw A man, A Hell's Angel. I said they ride with wing's on thir back. They turned a new leaf. Castle Rock my aunt's Rose garden. Finally had one. My neighbor with a cross year round, white at that. Tore my garden apart. Paying for the dog's. Why JC told me why I alway's wanted a dog farm? Becuase it's my farm. I had to grab the wall, I stood there and bawled. Of course conversation took place in the bathroom as I was standing at the sink. Jesus Christ just outside the door.

Beastie Boy's is on. Of course, no sleep for minimum 48 hours we go dark. No one in no one out of this Washington. Accept family, break bread U R family.

Otherside/Red HOt CHili Pepper's

I've been wondering why I'm still on this. I have everything I need to take the rock back, GOd's flock and energy. CAn't C that. Yet they never saw me either except to throw the book at. Getting me close to death's door, had to of gotten me close in order for me  to spend 5 day's in THe Valley Shadow of Death. Just learned who the invisible man was at the end of my bed. First not sure, Then I learned recently JC. They have gotten me close to death's door once more. I mean physically. DOesn't get any bigger than the Big C. This is the end of the line. I have to do this while I can even speak. Of all place's my jaw, and mouth. I tried getting it checked out or a couple of years.

Ben Holds 5, Brick

This Scarlet Letter A and the Big C. WHich A U ask. The Angel or the Atom Bomb. Am I going to stand against an Atom bomb. It's not about sacrifice for me, so we have a planet for my children to eat from. The other Mary. Mother Earth. 

Don't Speak. No Doubt

Hearing that all my life. 

I've realized once more, they own me. They use me. Slavery comes to mind. All my god damned life. Being judged, never spoken. When I try, the compassion goes to someone else. More of how I need to change myself to make life easier on other's.

Being raised by a mental ill woman is slavery. Walking on egg shell's. Here comes another explosion. I've been thinking what else do I need to know? COme on let's get it done. Then Mother Fuck. Technology once again. Won't print my blog. Over 4000 pictures to print still. Right now physically I'm good to do this. Not dance, I re upped my med's I want it done. I have to be in the right frame of mind. Ih ave to be to write from whomever's heart. I know now, when it's not me. The emotion's

Mother Love Bone/ Stardog cChampion

Yes I get it the clue the title. The Alpha, the Omega. Nope! I'm Sirius

I love to say that. Starting to like metaphore's after all. My mind's been going back to a few thing's from the brgginning. The local policeman, the number 7 his son. I saw and heard a black shadow standing on the otherside of the door. Then I heard He's here for the son. He's standing at the door. Now it's grown to the planet. I said to Greg in the parking lot on that lot, nothing grow's without love and light. My right hand in the air dancing. Tolerance, the higher I go the more I write until sometime's fall asleep. The elphant on my father's chest. This tabacco and in the start it was Yule Brenner, cancer. His message. Then Anna, in the King And I. I thot the cancer part Kyle took that on for his planet, his children to eat. His agrrement his sacrifice.

Counting Blue Cars/Dishwallar

Kryptonite/ JJ

Do I fear death? Why am I asking myself this one? Well I was thinking of the seal's? Is this just another seal broken? 7 years. Would I make the same deal today? In a heart beat. Live or die? Does it even matter anymore? That depression from the deprosors managing all of our pain? They turn a blind eye to pain? This insurance is just a machine. Just a machine of number's. It's controlling all of the pain. Pain? Mercy me and Pain? All while trying to survive. FInancially Michael and I are done. Physically done. It's been snowing and it was the SHekina that stood in the snow. Later I asked is it Ash. Feeling a war. The Ash?

Believe Staind

A mountain and another pun Mt. Hood. Lil Red Riding Hood. It started with the Lakota and Dancing with wolves. I have nothing left up my sleeve. I don't know what they are going to put me thru, U and FAith. Who is FAith's Twin FLame? Michael. Then Michael with ISIS stopping or making sure Jack Parson's doesn't go thru it.

When I'm GOne/3 Door's Down.

Purgatory. Survive, no hope, but hey don't worry the state will certify us for some customer service job. Up front or in the back. Your all indigent. Your alls slaves. They poisoned love. What a fucked up concept that humanity has on Love. U blocked evolution. Backwards or forward. Take your Schizophrenia and Bi Polar for praying and shove it up my Lily white ass. They'r ain't no Freedom

Half way Gone/Lifehouse. SO trueNo Freedom anywhere up in this house. I want these people gone right now. I don't give a flying flock. Alien, the fallen angel and some very very old witch craft. Adam and Eve. U posoned love and equality with Morals in my court. Freely given freely taken. String's so many string's of control right here. I'm so pissed. Immoral a Sin for Love. Equality and more children have food and homes. Science? The creation of your own making

 cum judgement day. U raped evrything and put a high price on it with all this distension. Oh the serpent or FAllen Angel, The Goat. The real Satan. Oh yeah the Alien and the Goat sitting on boulder's Friday the 13 th Mothers Day. 

My Sacrifice/ Creed

Trinity, so many. I don't know how to take this one now? Death is standing at the sun's door all because I carry Jesus CHrist inside me. Fuck fingers are tingling. Death is standing, literally standing at balance. The Yin, The Yang. Just here to balance the scales. That mean's real Death is standing at my sister's door. Same DNA. If they do this. U will literally kill off the last hope we ever have.

If Everyone Cared/Nickle Back

Amen I. Amen I. Amen I'm alive. Just where this will ever B. My nieces. At least liking my number's in this family Pride. I'm so mad at God for this. You have no idea. Don't ever tell me what to B thankful for. Just one more. Just one more. The Other Joker, the other fool. 

Home/Daughtry

Flock me. I'm mad again. I realized like 1 to 2 night's ago, writing about Death. Are we ready for Eternal life, universally so? I mean U don't need a machine to do this. No I don't know when or who on every detail of a person's life. I only get answer's when they give them. 

I said to Mike the other day, maybe yesterday, now I know who the guy was with the gun, that was laughing hysterically, where he decend's from at least. I was thinking today I could C my brother sitting in that pose just B4 my step dad beat him with a belt. A kid he'd never met. Fuck me. U know feleony and law's? A cell he should never of been in the first place. The Chamber's my whole flocking life, this is not the answer I expected. Well actually the fourth horsemen. Death.

It's Not My Time/ 3 Doors DOwn/American Standard 1995 and Friday the 13th and the 3:16.

7 Mary 3. Cumbersome

Simple Plan/Perfect

I'm torn, my b;ack shadow buried me 6 feet under. Buried me under all this pain. I looked at the black shadow and I didn't say my mantra, ICU. No it was it's U. How much more proof of life do I need? U fuck head's, I'm not the only bait. Hell's kitchen. Hell on earth/ depemds on the perspective I recon' He promised me 1995. Heaven On Earth. What the heaven's really entail? Little Miss Can't Be Wrong/Spin Doctors Pocket Full Of Kryptonite. 

His eye's and the 3rd bedrrom scene. That I realized I had two in longeray. Longerray of white, Longerray of light. My side's pulled up. Both times it was the gloves and my atire that pulled me out of my revory. It was number 3. My hair was about how it was from the start. Past shoulder's, wild curls. sitting on his chest. A sheet around me. My hair made me think, I must of dreamed this back then and theyre just now showing me.

I was bending over Him, my fingers around each eye, I said, I want 2C what UC. Later those word's sunk in. Death. I'm not sure if this is when I called Mike and asked whose death. He siad one of the 4 horsemen. Took 5 chapters to figure out I've been wrting their names all along. I wasn't so concerned then, but my reaction. The biggest, loudest, logest emotion. I sat on my knee's crying and screaming. Not wailing. One scream after another. Not my Death. Nobody want's to C Death. Not afraid today of the Horsemen or the black shadow. 

Please, please please, How much more? The promised land, and step 12. The last step to the light. 12 Fruit's Of The Tree.

Smashing Pumpkin's Bullet With Butterfly Wings

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