Just To See You Smile

Just To See You Smile/TM
Yesterday was not a good day for this little monkey. Not at all. I had a 9a.m. appointment for a pap and to once again discuss my med's. I got in a full dance and physical therapy routine before I went. It has been a long time. I still had my migraine. Week number nine, yet it's down to about a three. The night before this I had taken two cyclobenzaprine and I slept for three hours. Then I took three tizanadine and I slept for another three hours. My lower back will not stop trying to spasm for the last month now. I take these meds and I wake up no better. It's just a roller coaster ride of pain all up and down this Tree Of Life. I do the best I can with what I have each day. Each morning I begin anew. It's all about my fuel and energy each day. I keep moving and I do what I can do for as long as I can do it. When I accepted this commitment part of it was "come what may each day."

May We All/FGL
My poor doctor. We did the pap to rule why I am having so many blood moons at this time in my life? I know why? Part of this agreement I made was to go with the flow. Accept whatever happens to my body when it happens. After awhile it started to dawn on me this has something to do with that moon. I started to notice that full moon on some of the nights I was out there. Then I started to notice the dates, how long and even the days in between. I started to notice my body, the days and numbers and how it correlates with that full moon vs. my blood moon including what sign it falls under.

Beautiful Trauma/Pink
I told my doctor that I work all day to prevent this muscle from having that butterfly effect like it did the last time I couldn't get it under control. She had her nurse bring in a Toroidal shot to give in my right hip. From there everything went downhill for this little monkey. I felt pain shoot straight down the back of my right thigh. The first thing I thought was I have never had a Toroidal shot hurt like this. I stayed on my side for about fifteen minutes, when I stepped down from the table on my right leg, my back thigh locked up.

In Case You Didn't Know/BY
Out of all the different types of pain I have gone through in the last two and a half years, let's just say this one was a whole different ball game. Right away the nurse said "well we have this new procedure let me check the location of the shot. I cannot fucking move. PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get my pant's undone and then she said, maybe you just stepped down wrong because according to our new procedure that's the right location." That is when I started saying fuck over and over. Then NO! NO! NO! I did not step on my leg wrong. Right away procedures, liability and the blame game.

Hard To Love/LB
I'm yelling to get me some ice. My doctor comes in and she starts asking again if she can see the location because she's a student nurse and she's learning. Like now is the time for me to help someone else? Are you fucking nuts? My banter is FUCK FUCK FUCK, over and over. I said to my doctor you want to talk to me about procedures, she cuts me off, no that wasn't me. No that was your nurse. Every time you doctors get a new procedure who pays? I pay, then I have to pay again because now I have to use my limited pain med's for this. Now I'm going to be made to feel guilty. My Dr. said, your angry? Do you think? Get me my ice and my med's, while I can move again.

You Look Like I Need A Drink/JM
I get out the door. and I'm crying. I couldn't believe my luck once again? As long as I held my foot in a certain position and kept my weight to the left I could hobble to the bus stop. I get to the intersection and I have two blocks to the bus or the pharmacy on the other side of the intersection and right when I get ready to step off the curb my right hip and leg froze, as well as I. Cars and buses would not pass unless I waved them around this busy intersection. There I stand with my black and red plaid coat, my snow boots and my monkey hat, bent at the waste. After about ten to fifteen minutes of standing there bent over frozen looking the fool I had to call 911. I gave the intersection address. At a time like this my directions still weren't good enough. They ask, SE corner Colleen, NE Colleen? I assure you I'm the only woman standing here at this intersection frozen in place with a monkey hat on my head. I'm the only one you can't miss me. SE Corner, nope Colleen I think your on the North East corner.

You're The Best Thing About Me/U2
Here come the sirens. A fire truck pulls up next to me and asks if I can get up to that parking lot? Nope, I assure you I would if I could. I can't move an inch. Then here comes the ambulance. Oh God get me off this rock. I explained my goal, was to get to the pharmacy and wait this out while I get this medication filled. Then get it in me and wait for this to melt away. I'm on the black list from the ER from help with pain, like the rest of the United States with this insurance with chronic pain. What is the point? These firemen had a makeshift wheel chair. This little monkey had to be rolled across the street by 3 firemen and lifted through the parking lot, all the way back to the pharmacy. It felt like it took an hour to get it filled. I had to use a cane. I stood up with the cane trying to get my hip to adjust to the movement and of course, I have an older woman walk up to me, put her hand on her hip with her cane and she stood there waiting for me to move.

Wild One/FH
I do not know what it is when someone else see's me, I have to be the one to move no matter where I stand. Standing in the grocery aisle and I had a woman walk right up to me and stop. I assumed she couldn't go around, I was standing there looking in the freezer first. So I step back, when I look around I realize there is no one else in this aisle and she could of walked around. I looked this old lady in the eye and I said, "you will just have to go around me, I ain't moving." I'm standing up and they call my name finally, wouldn't you know it the woman in front of me doesn't speak very good english and her daughter was doing a half ass job translating the pharmacy assistant asking her to sit down until her prescription is ready. Ten mother flocking minutes later she's still standing at the counter. Then I get up there and the guy goes to help the window. To top it off the rest of my med's were sent to my pharmacy by my place. I still have to make it there.

Big Green Tractor/JA
I wait for the pain med's to kick in and this shit to wear off enough to get me to the next place and I can't do this without a cane. Last night it hit me what I saw when I walked out of the doctors office? I made it to the sidewalk and there written in chalk it said praise and the word Him crossing down the letter I. I looked at it and I said out loud, kiss my ass. Then I got a flash of me with my monkey hat on, walking bent at the waste with a cane dragging my right leg behind me crossing intersections. I laughed. I looked up at God and I said Oh my fucking God, you made me a lame little monkey.

Who I Am

Who I Am/JA
Now I want to make one thing very clear. I know who it is I am. I know who it is my two daughters represent to me and mine. You might want to think about that before you lay one tiny dot of anything on my babies heads. We three are the perfect storm. We three are the trinity of life on this rock. You want to test Gods theory? Bring it. I welcome the storm come hell or high water. I'm done being tested upstairs and downstairs. You can either accept the truth, that judgment day is upon you. You can accept the truth of love and light of this mothers heart, or you can go to hell for all I care.

My Maria/BD
How bad of a person can I be to speak the truth of what you carry inside your heart? How bad of a person could I be to tell you to find the light? When I heard the word Nineveh again and Revelations 17 it made me wonder what can I answer about thy kingdom come? It was the verse if I can find it again about wisdom and those three sixes? Wisdom's Truth in knowing where Satan rises? Once again my X doesn't just have seven nines, no God he has nine. Sangria my ass. Got to hand me the real deal. Do I fear this old dear? Mother flockin no way. Bring it bitch.

Merry Go Round/KM
Revelations 1, He made it known by sending His angel to His servant John. 2.Who testifies to everything  S/He saw. Sound familiar? I thought Kyles name was John for quite some time. Then I find the writing he's surrounded by Johns the seven and three's. In the very beginning I said before I hung up the phone, I'm your sign.

Farmers Daughter/RA
Revelations 3-4 John 4 churches of Asia.
Revelations 5 Jesus Christ who is the faithful witness; the first born from the dead and ruler of the kings of the earth
Revelations 19 Write therefore, what you have seen, what is now, and what will take place later, my story of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand. Nineteen trucks, nineteen at the beginning of 9/11. No I did not like those 19's not one bit. Then Gary tells me to wear a baby blue t-shirt one night before a dance around that black square. It had an eagle, a flag and the number nineteen. I kept hearing two more? I thought it was about Satan but no it was about him. Kiley is 17 and with him I got two more.

Paint Me A Birmingham/TL
Revelations 2:13 I know your works and where you dwell, where Satan's throne is? Do you think God? All you got to do is marry and take out the mother right God? Lie, cheat and steal her children? The representation of that blue ring he stole? This kingdom, this rock, those blue skies, and those baby blue eye's on all my daddies.
Revelations 2:15 Nicolaitans, which I hate, 6. Repent. See it matters where you put hate. How you handle hate. After God lifts and everything goes crash, the battle begins. I want you to give it all your hate and anger. Words, anything you got to protect your babies. I can't be more honest, everything is going to go up and come down all at once. I said in 2015 at that black pipe, those souls belong to me.

My Front Porch Looking In/Lonestar
It seems I found Gods lost souls, right here on this rock. Our walking dead. Just like I called my own father 30 years ago and look what we got coming down on our heads? Satan's servants. Yeah he's a trustworthy soul alright. We'll see how that works out for you all. That's the thing about my pain, I carry on this tree of life? It is all relative, and well you don't see Faith. Faith's Holy Justice is gonna hurt this time around.

Revelations 18, The corrupt church. You corrupted my church people. You stole from me, you poisoned me, you lied about me and you poisoned my children. Yet you've made quite the living charging all your fee's on resources and taxes that you stole in the first place. I don't blame my family for taking it back.

You're Still The One/ST
Revelations 2-20. Really God? I'm still the one? This song at this point? The label of the Jezebel whore? Could the Jezebel be this rock people? The Jezebel isn't the Gin, she's the one that keeps getting the carpet pulled out from down under. Boy, am I gonna lock this Genie back in the bottle. Your church that feeds you love and light is this rock. The word profit is interchangeable with prophet.

Ain't Going Down/GB
Revelations 2-28 I will give Him the Morning Star. Great now can we just do this already.
Revelations 2-29 He who has an ear. let Him hear what the spirit says to the seven churches. Those seven red heads. Those seven stars that I hold in the palm of my hand.

Gunpowder & Lead/ML
Revelations 3 The Dead Church, I just found the Book of the dead a couple days ago God. Means birth of the living spirit of the next life. Sounds like we begin anew God. Rebirth, anew life is born.
The Nostradamus Effect Ch 1 episode 7.
Global catastrophe before rise of Egypt. The dismay after the incredible horror of the catastrophic disaster is making it impossible for the terrorized population to escape. Look around you. You think this isn't knocking at our back door? No we are the United States, we are untouchable? Sorry honey, you're living on a house of cards.

Give It Away/GS
Planet X, the Kobrin bible? After the destruction the old lion turned around. Reversal of earths rotation called a polar shift. Holy shit God. I said I feel a polar shift coming on back in 2015. A polar shift swollen molten core changes direction? This was written around the time of the Old Testament. This planet X, the tenth planet rolls through every 3600 years. They compromise of eleven books. First five written in Ancient Egypt and the remaining six in Celtic priest. Note on this one, They said eleven on the documentary but they said six two times. I assigned the numbers. Just guessing.

Just Another Day In Paradise/PV
Written after Exodus in the 15h century. My five with a ten back IC. Just before Christ delivered the Hebrew slaves from bondage. No God this is not another day in paradise. It was discovered in England in the 12th century. Like my numbers. Season 1 Episode 12 I like what it said God. A matter strictly of Faith. That is the Truth.

Love Like Crazy/LB
Revelations 4. Here we go. Like I haven't spoken about what it's like to stand before God? How he gets to the root of the issue? Yes God certainly shoots straight for the heart, when it comes to test time. Good luck with this part. All of a sudden you are in it. Standing in it emotionally, and every time I end up here, I'm begging God for someone else's life.

Die A Happy Man/TR
Revelations 4-6. This is a good part. In the beginning when I was seeing beasties, not knowing who or what this is all about. Something about a lion? I felt a bull? I asked M., on a football team is there 13 players? I feel like their is 12 but their is an invisible number 13, is this the quarterback? Nope, thirteen crystals and that wild O.A.T.S. thing. Four's kept coming up. A white four square and a black four square that I turned into a black heart.

People Are Crazy/BC
Revelations 4-7 The first living creature was like a lion. That lions bridge. The second like a calf. The milk, the nectar, the milky way that feeds this rock love and light. The third a face of a man. Obviously I saw Him. I heard every thing he said about those two's, those sevens, and those three's.

Boondocks/LBT
Now I ask Kyle, man or beast? You want to beasty play with me? Then comes number four, and I liked number four? The fourth living creature was like a flying eagle. It seems when you look at the Statue of Freedom, God did give me my eagle in the beginning. There he sits right on my head.

Would You Go With Me/JT
Revelations 4-8. Yeah God I like my eights. The four living creatures each have six wings. The Hindu God has a pink elephant to boot. Now bring me my pink elephant trunk with golden eggs to come play with me.

Something Bad/ML
Revelations 5, The lamb takes the scroll. If only I knew then, what I know now when I made this agreement?
Revelations 5-4, I wept much? Do you think? I never know from one moment to the next when your gonna send a deep deep emotion that hits me straight in the heart, then flash flood. From grief to joy, I never know until I'm in it. Naive, blind, clueless? Hey uhm, what does this have to do with me again? Apparently it's a crime to be a nice person today. We'll just have to see about that.

It Just Comes Natural/GS
Revelations 5-5 Behold the lion of the tribe of Judah, the root of David has proven to open the seven seals. This is the Judah tribe I ascend from God? Why my aunt Judy and the Kennedy curse? Why I kept feeling like JC and Mary had two children, not just one. Hey Jude.

19 Something/MW
Revelations 5-6, not my favorite part God? Stood a lamb as though slain? Thanks again for this family tree of life and all the blessings you bestow upon me. It is a thankless job being part of this family. I'm the blood of the lamb, not afraid to bleed for him? My Facebook post about injustice in 7/2015. You are such an asshole Set for this. Don't think I haven't figured out Seth? Seth was Set and Thoth people. Yup I'm a tattle tail.

Chattahoochee/AJ
One night out of the blue I went back to that pit and their lying on the ground were my missing tampons laid out like little white angels. Brother Red, you wait until I get my hands on you for this. Just like every other brother in my life, a day late and a dollar short. Didn't have tampons so every time I peed I bled. Then I sliced my hand on the rock around salmon days, and said the lords prayer. I looked at Haystack and I said bring it Daddy. I looked at the pregnant bird and I said bring it mommy. 

Don't It/BC
Revelation 5-11, Worthy is the lamb who is slain? No I'm not only the white buffalo of the Lakota's, I'm the white buffalo sacrifice of the druids this time around. Such a nice family, my children are. Some days I feel like they are serving up a little personal justice of their own upon this little mother. Get your digs in guys before I get back upstairs IC? Can we please turn my OH OH OH into some HO HO HO for once in my life?

Amazed/Lonestar
Revelations 6, great God this six. Can we just spare the rod kind of thing? After I'm good and dead you send in my horsemen? If only I knew then, what I knew now? This agreement I made sure has turned into one big pile of bullshit. 
I looked at Revelations 7, I covered those 12's. All those twelves in my family tree of life? Who knew? Certainly not me. Now brother I am ready to be found.

Beautiful Mess/DR
Revelations 8-1
Wormwood. Me worm, Him wood. easy enough. Know what they say? Morning wood makes honey dew.

Revelations 9:3
I kept seeing these large cricket things for awhile and well now I know what a locust is. They torture for five months.

Check Yes Or No/GS
Revelations 9-5 Here we are at the scorpion. I'm getting the impression to those that want to kill off me and mine, that you will get the bite of a scorpion. Venom. You choose, I'll be nice when this is good and done. Hell I do all I can to walk away from the hood rat for a mother behind door B4. Like I don't think physical altercations are disgusting. Unless it's in the octagon. All because I asked her a question? All I need to do is break my hand throwing a punch, or throw my back out some more at this point in the game? I keep walking away doing every thing I can do not to have to lay a hand on her. Like I want to take out a mother, regardless of this hood rat, don't speak to me I'm to good and justified for my bad behavior? Bad example as a mother.

Where It's At/DL
Revelations 9-8. I loved this one. And they had hair as the hair of women, and their teeth were as the teeth of lions. Yes, that ring of fire represents, giant lions. They are the fire walker's that seven and three, with two sets of twin towers.  That was an awesome P.O.L.

Drinkin' Bone/TB
I have no idea where my Revelation 10 notes are?
Revelations 11-2 Forty and two months. Three and half years. This number three and half popped up in the beginning. The night I sat crying on the red rock under the blue moon. I started screaming three and half years? Then I took off running into the gold field, I said "I don't care about the rats. I don't care about the snakes. I curled up in a ball in that long grass and fell asleep. I awoke at the crack of dawn and went to that gold mound that faced the sunrise to the east, and I curled up in a ball on my side and fell back to sleep. I was so mad the next morning I didn't go back to that red rock until later that afternoon. I left everything sitting there. My purse, my smokes, my phone. When I went back the manager in the store hid my stuff for me until I was ready to accept them back.

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off- JN
Revelations 11-3
I will give power to my two witnesses and they shall prophecy a one thousand two hundred and three. I want to walk away from this part right here. We agreed God in the beginning one little thing? Not the rest of my eternal life. Yet I didn't know when I made this agreement that I had an eternal soulmate.

Strawberry Wine/DC
Revelations 11-4 These are the two olive tree's and the two candlesticks standing before God of the earth.

The Dance/GB
Revelations 11-6 These two have the power to shut heaven and so we have power. Power of the people.
Revelations 11-7 Great God so we're going to be killed and be dead for three and half days? All this death for you?
Revelations 11-8 Sodom and Egypt where our lord was crucified? Whose that this time around? Oh I know, don't bother. It just gets uglier. The things I got to do for this God forsaken rock? Are you nuts?

Drunk On A Plane/DB
Revelations 11 9-10 The earth parties and rejoices, then 11 God comes into us and brings us back to life? Swell plan. Just a swell swell plan you got going on for me up there. 11-12 We go to heaven.
Revelations 11 19 Finally a good nineteen God. And the temple of God was opened in heaven and there was seeking His temple the ark of his testament, and there were lightenings and voices and thunderings and an earthquake and great hail.

I Don't Want This Nigh To End/LB
I don't feel like going over revelations 12. I have spoken about this chapter allot. My daughters two births. The part where the woman fled to the wilderness? Boy did I get fed. Boy did I get my training wheels. That 1203 and a half number again. Three and a half years. Then Michael and His angel fought against the dragon. Did Michael and I do that already? My five days in the valley shadow of death and all? The weird stuff Michail was saying and then I buried his monkey.

You Should Be Here/CS
Then in Rev. 12-14 it goes into the woman was given her two wings of a great eagle? Those sky blue eagle eyes. Then it say's nourished for a time and time and half. Hidden from the face of the serpent? I slept in the woods around that truck stop. Where I learned I was mother natures daughter. Yes, God I know how and why you hid me? It was weird, I didn't panic. I just accepted their is nothing I can do if anything is to happen. That acceptance, will and faith thing I recon. Your blind lamb of Faith being led along? Can you say BAAAAA?

Just To See You Smile/Tm
I haven't decided what I can call myself in the Goldilocks and the three bears storyline? For one thing my hair ain't golden. Curly yes, when it feels like it, but first came the mommy bear. Then came the baby bear, I was hoping their wasn't a mommy near by, as the little cub sat on its ass and watched me watch him. Then last but not least great big daddy bear. In the beginning I was happy when Gary explained to me the bears are here to eat the ant's Colleen, not people. Would of been nice to know this before then. Then later on I discover I'm the aunt this time? Now God when does my teddy get to eat out of this aunt's honey pot? This half mass, minute man bullshit is killing me. I can't help it, so I go in heat every now and then and this is what you give me to work with?
Country Girl/LB
Hurricane/LC

She's With Me

She's With Me/High Valley
Where to begin today? All this bullshit and red tape I walk through in this hell care system? My lower back trying to spasm for the last month? Today it's winning. Laughing at God's joke about my holy jeans? The ones my own mother felt it okay to go into my closet and throw them away. For now on no one will complain about my Holy Gene's. Got it?

Losing Sleep/CY
I realized the name of one of my favorite movies growing up? Vision Quest with the song by Madonna, Crazy For You. From 1995. Like A Virgin touched for the first time. Papa Don't Preach ring a bell? Found another Kai, Ronan 47. I loved that movie. It finally dawned on me the current American Horror Story line with the murdering clowns and the election's? Trump, and The Purge? The name of this sick piece of shit whom has a sick God complex? Kyle. I laughed at the photo of the woman's head shaped like a honey bee. Then I looked up and their across the screen King Bee Productions. Now tell me whom is the true creator of all this creativity?

Blue Ain't Your Color/KU
When are you gonna take the depression out of this color God? HAARP Guidelines Quicken Loans God? Another HAARP to place you in purgatory IC? Just because it has a good name it doesn't make it a good service. I figured out another anagram God. One And The Same? I gotta sow some wild oats the old fashioned way is that what I hear you saying? Silence Of The Lambs sitting in all your institutions taking the blame? Just another way to shut down the human race, another label to take the blame to hide your truth? Now I ask as the mother of this rock what right do you have to silence my little lambs? What right do you have to pick the level of crazy we all seem to get to later on in life? Why did you get to supply the asbestos in the work place and cigarette's? Why do you get to create the way we get to get a pulmonary disease yet you waste my time about my choice to smoke? Why do you get to pick the disease the cure, after you poisoned my flock?

Boy/LB
Now boy I don't give a flying flock what color your skin is when I call you boy for now on. No matter whom you are you are my son. I will speak to you any way I want. The way IC it you poisoned my circle of life to poison humanity. Those of you that own these farms have lost the right to do business. Some of you should of lost your license long ago. You had no right to poison my beasties, get them sick and feed them to my children. Then you want to call it good? You set your own standards and laws in each of your own corporations now and what the service is. All I see in all your jurisdictions and programs is a disservice to humanity.

Legends/KB
Columbus Day and my X's birth date? Achelious, river god son of Gaia and Oceanus, his union with a muses created the siren. Now is this my X's fall God? Planet X? The tenth planet? Generation X fighting to survive God? He is the creation of all this depression. He is the creation of the guidelines and standards on depression once again. Yes you in Congress handed this Gin the human races keys to the kingdom, with your blanket justice system based on odds now instead of truth IC? Just like an insurance company, just like those pharmaceutical companies. Just like the landlord tenant getting to set their own high cost of living guidelines and standards IC? You in this system for about the last quarter of a century have been a disservice when you set the guideline and standards on what a mental illness is versus my higher beings.

A Girl Like You/EC
Watched The Punisher a couple nights ago. I started singing "Ring My Bell" at the hammer scene on the first episode. Funny Michael found a Punisher key ring a couple months ago. Casting my little spell where ever I go. M got me a pair of cordless head phones. I was so excited I got happy feet. Of course the left ear bud doesn't work. Just like both pairs of my twinkle toes the left foot goes out. Now on my right foot no matter the shoe, it floods. A mass, half ass bullshit. Then I got lucky, oh what a find? Walking through the Jack In The Box parking lot, I look down and there lying on the ground was a pair of white head phones. Yes. Both ear buds work and I can talk on the phone with these ones.

Record Year/EC
Tencent Pictures? Hilarious God. Falling asleep some other show was on. I have no idea the TV was just on some random channel. I hear a woman say Nineveh and a witch. No Rest For The Wicked IC. Thinking about what I like to drive? I'd have to say I'm more of a Dodge, Ram, Chevy, Hemi, Ford kind of gal, but you know God I ain't ever had a Peterbilt house.  Speaking of Peter God? I feel a Peter Peter pumpkin eater coming on? How come I feel like I'm going to be the one walking bow legged for awhile? This getting back in the saddle my Big Daddy's way is gonna be quite the hoe down. The things I have to do for my little beasties.

Take A Back Road/RA
M. has been home for five day's now, and no God I am not happy. Not one bit. I can't do this childish laxy daisy behavior. I had M. give me a massage. My lower back was spasming still, For some reason those three disc between my shoulder blades tried poppin out of place. I got them to roll back into place laying on the tennis balls. Of course the never ending migraine. After I fell asleep for 6 hours, I awoke to no groceries, dirty dish pit, and M. scrolling his phone on my spot on the couch. Once again I got to feed us because M, is incapable. I got dressed and grabbed two bags of groceries. On my way over I felt my lower back trying to spasm.

Carrying Your Love With Me/GS
At 10 p.m. I drag in two bags of groceries, along with his special request of juice. Don't worry M. I got this. I unload the groceries, I step into the livingroom, I said to M. my lower back is still trying to spasm, and he plops down on my spot. I watch him get back up like he's in pain. I ask M. does your back hurt? No my legs ache from giving you a massage. Inside I'm saying are you fucking kidding me? He acts so ancient. I said well M. I'm gonna have to take my spot back. Then he goes in and grabs a bag of chips. You know I purchased real food to eat.

Undo It/CU
He looks at the clock and said oh well it's 10:30 I don't want to cook so late. I look at him I'm shaking my head, M. you don't go to bed until like 4:30 a.m. It does not dawn on him that I'm hungry. This is what it has been like with M. all these years with his own children. It has been like this with every relationship I have ever had. All the domestic resposibility falls on my head. I might sleep in shifts according to my pain and energy,

It's A Great Day To Be Alive/TT
but I do dishes at 3 a.m., I shower in the middle of the night or early morning. I cook, I clean and do the dishes no matter the hour. I only have so long to function and get things done before the pain makes me crash. M. just can't process or think for himself. He wants me to purchase him a sweatshirt, shoes, and socks. I won't do it.

In Color/JJ
When he told me he's taking six days off. I said to him, you need to get this done. I've told you time and time again to get this done. Don't worry Colleen I will. He has done nothing. Hasn't looked up work shoes, for his size 10 quadruple wide platypus feet. He's got long arms for a size large frame. I'd end up with him being upset because it doesn't fit right, and I'd have to return the stuff.  I just don't have it in me anymore. Invest my time and energy into this man. I hate this life God. I hate this box. I hate this rock too.

Burning House/Cam
Reading through revelations it is hilarious yet scary how I know the answers to this stuff. What brought me back to this again? The woman whom said Nineveh and witch also said, Revelations 17. I don't even know where to begin in Revelations?

Female/KU

 

A Creation Of Your Own Making