Today I Hate You

You try finding out your JC"s lil sister in blood and essence. You try finding out what that seed meant that Ive been talking about. You try finding out the reason why these people do meth is because when you hurt so bad with no reprieve is that you will poison your body just to get a reprieve from the pain even for just one day. No matter how bad it hurts when you come down. Hell its not like these people haven't walked through the pain before.
Then try finding out they chose to poison their bodies with the LYE so mother nature won't have to. Yes I hate you.
You try finding out Michael is my vessel for my pain. You try finding out you have to hurt him. You try feeling like Im lying knowing the truth that this family has made sure I can't step away no matter what. So yes today I hate you.
You try finding out just why these alternative healthcare practitioners have been murdered mysteriously and knowing they are looking for someone like my children's father. Yes asshole I hate you.
OMFG I haven't even gotten to that bloodfire. That tree I sat in front of with the trucks and horses. You try finding out it's not just about your sisters. If I ever hear another man fucking complain or disrespect their mothers and sisters again after this fight I'll turn them all into toads.
To find out how much I hate you today and I'm not even close to being done.
To find out my whole life I have been taught not to respond or react to the injustice. To find out I have been trained to have a high tolerance to the pain and the poison my whole life you bet your sweet ass I hate you today.
When I finally got to my apartment and see a necklace with a big blue eye and a movie sitting next to it snow white and the seven dwarfs that no matter where I go on this journey they dont let me forget. Like the black wooden wolf mask hanging on my front door. Oh yeah the apartment number alone I should of known this was going to not be a reprieve. I mean the fucking eight slugs in my kitchen isn't enough. I finally make it out of those woods away from those disgusting things. So yes I hate you today.

I haven't looked up the word bethrothed but when I saw that woman in white in the end of Shanarra. I remembered that woman in white in the first month of this journey. At first I looked out her eyes and everything is white then I looked down upon her from the clouds she was surrounded by white and I didn't know if it was snow or ash? The hair alone dark curly hair down to her waist. Will the guy in the story line. I've been writting about Will. I've lost my will. Im not sure what that word fully means but if it means anyones buying me off I'm not for sale. So fuck you.

I had no mother fucking clue you yellow bellied pussy boy what this was all about. It just kept coming back to you. Then when it dawned on me what I wrote give me all your pain all your rage. I thought it was words.
I already figured out that you take things in and you don't release it. I wanted that rage for the fight. I wanted you out of everyone around me because I wanted you to win. I wanted you to be ready inside you then I learned what a ardeur is.
Now you fucking asshole your thirteen inches taller than me and I'm down to 106.6. You weigh two fifty. You do the math.

I promise you I don't care how bad this hurts. I promise you it's going to hurt me, just like our parents used to say before us, well not mine. It's going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. I might be small but anything you do to me I give right back to you.

When I go back to when I said I'd rather take the pain on myself than to hurt someone else. I still for the life of me remember why I said that? That's why I walked away. The day I saw you in February and I couldn't bring myself to hurt a innocent. Your girlfriend. To me your an innocent so is mine and yours but when I figured out your name yes even I hate you today.

Don't you ever say those mother's don't got your back after this. Those women and that family above me doesn't give one flying fuck what I have to do down here to save this fucking rock. Which is mine.
I have learned on this journey I'm that big dick in the skies daughter and when it comes down to his family he can be a real asshole.

Don't worry he might be an asshole but he still makes me laugh to soften me up. I opened my fortune cookie and it said on the inside everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth.

Weather you like it or not your the son/sun. Your God's son your our mothers sun. I'm God's daughter I'm my mother's moon. If anyone thinks our children are going to live in a fishbowl you think again.

Those armies that I felt were being built are those demons being released over time. Along with the system. The demons have changed over time that part I figured out. When I saw the troll demons that army thats just another set of what's going to hit this planet and head for our children. They wanted them this age and strong for a reason.
You brought me your numbers I bring you mine. So for today yes I hate you.