Big DADDY Issue's
I've lost my heart. I've lost my motivation. I've lost my drive. Truth be told I never cared about the power. My fury inside me is impalpable.
To discover I'm God's daughter this time? To discover I have been watched taking the hits from both sides? This flocking E.T. and Satan. To discover that my own Father has had the power to heal me this whole time and he never lifted a hand to heal me not once?
I'm not sure if I'm Eve from the Garden of Eden but if I was how does just that punishment fit the crime? If I have been coming back all these centuries to pay penance for that one apple when is enough enough?
I don't even know if it was JC in that garden? Had to of been. If the face of JC keeps coming back and changing then who the flock knows?
Common denominator are these two right here.
No they were not the first two beings. Not even close. This planet has been remodeled along with its occupants going way way back.
I know for a fact if I've been watched this closely then so the flock was Eve. No way she ate that forbidden fruit without God knowing.
Then when I screamed at him who is that black shadow God? Is it you? I remembered later that was not the case. I had just asked Cyn the name of the dishwasher that used to follow me around? Good times this name. I even went back and said are you sure its not the Russian dishwasher that used to kiss me on the cheek and tells me he loves me? No that would be to easy. Vladimir. A Mexican Vlad. Imagine that? Just keeps getting better.
So after it dawned on me just everything I went through pounding my fists on Gods chest grabbing him by the throat demanding he release my dogs.
Telling me who I really am watching me hurt flock this God shit. Neglect on me and this planet? Because of these two you could of gotten rid of so so long ago before everything got so out of hand? You watched only? I don't give a flock what I agreed to. I'm only human after all God. Having a human experience for mankind. Where the flock is the humanity man? The humane in humanity. The humane in the human? Just where the flock did this go?
Just how the flock do I forgive God my Father? I'm angry that after all I went through with that family upstairs from so many different perspectives each one. Then I find out I'm not finished? Now God wants a piece of me too?
Are you flocking kidding me? I mean who doesn't want face time with God right? The blessings in this family are just bountiful. Really?
You drop all this shit on me? I want none of what you have to offer. Keep your riches keep your mother flocking house. Keep your mother flocking jewels. I don't want no gold crown. I'm starting to feel like Eve in that garden. Maybe smarter this time? I have no idea what that fucking black snake offered?
So no God. keep what you offer. I know inside you'll protect me and my children for the greater good of mankind and your mother flocking son, but no God like I told my mother long ago, "you can't buy my love."
I don't want power God, I want justice. I want a simple life with good people. Heal them God. Hold my children, I will do as you ask living in a flocking society that gets to decide if and how I eat? I get scraps while they have a full plate. You keep or my guides, angels, brother's and sister's seem to come in from up above to make sure I am given just enough to get by and be thankful for my fathers blessings you bestow upon me.?
Ill just keep writing my discoveries moving along everyday wheather I hurt or not.
Sorry to bite the hand that feeds me. After what I have seen happen to my family all these centuries? I am angry at you. I can't for the first time ever on this journey let this one issue go?
I not only deserve an answer but my children do too? I'm just so angry I can't seem to hear or see you. Yes dad anger stems from pain too.
I know your hurting me and keeping me hurting to piss me off for my emotions all so I can become this families rabid bitch. Make me hungry and hurt enough, right dad? Abuse or Love? Love and hate are a fine line after all. Reminds me of those who abuse the dogs? Hurt them. Beat them. Starve them. Make them hungry. Make them mean. Cold hearted bitches right God?
My grandmother had it right when she burned her families documents at least she didn't want her children to be treated like dogs. Your love God to me is very cold. Just like my children's father.
Yes I have figured out this universal thought process is coming from you isn't it? Forgiveness this time I'm not sure how?
I have a twenty one year old who wants to marry a kid she met abroad. I'm angry because again God there is nothing I can do while I am out here to stop it. After what I have learned about commitments in this family and how loyal we women are to our husbands? Marriage of endurance right God? The other just waiting for her mother and you pull this shit? A postponement until after I am 49 years old? Another Christmas and other holidays without my children? I don't have a choice do I? I never did did I? Their is nothing inside me that would ever make me raise my hand and say yes God I'll do this? I'll hurt my children like this? Another man? Another postponement? Looking back out of the men who said they wanted to marry me. After awhile I realized I didn't want to marry them. Their egos so big it never dawned on them why that is?
So God I ask is this love or just part of the big evol plan? You claim to love my mother and your children. Yet you allow this to happen to your wife? Your daughter and her children for centuries? How is allowing others to be harmed in the bigger scheme of things good dad?
I get it? The lessons alone in humanity and mankind are huge but as a husband and father you should set a better example so we can actually learn what love really is? I'm still not feeling it. The only thing I have learned about honesty in this system is more purgatory and jails. More punishment for being truthful and honest. If your God then I'm here to tell you just as your daughter I deserve better from you and so do my children.
Truth is in the last few days since it finally sunk in that you were the one behind this all along Hope sunk. I realized all along you've been keeping Hope just afloat. Barely afloat when she sees the light God she soars. This whole journey I have never seen Hope slammed to the ground so many times and told to start over or not yet. This time God Hope can't get back up. Inside my heart God hope can't get back up. Not because I don't have Faith in you or me.
This job I had no idea I had my whole life but to find out you broke my heart? My own father broke my heart? You allowed this to be done to me? In doing this to me you did it to my children? In front of my children with my children? To be hurting and no help? The set up alone all the way around is horrifying God? Out of all the broken hearts you showed me I endured and why I was able to endure it for so long is because I was born with a broken heart and I didn't know any better? You did my Father my God and you either just watched or walked away. You have a cold heart. Not me God. Remember mine's just broken. You have the power to heal it and you wont. You have the power to heal my spine and you won't. You wanted honesty dad you got it. Crimes of the heart dad. Yours or Satan's? Is it my heart that's up for grabs dad? Is it my heart that you sacrificed and put on the line all these centuries or is it your precious sons?
Today I'm here for my mother's, my children. Not for you. You can keep your precious son. Oh yeah God don't worry I'll be sure to stay loyal. Don't worry I know my place. Right where you put me. Purgatory.
To discover I'm God's daughter this time? To discover I have been watched taking the hits from both sides? This flocking E.T. and Satan. To discover that my own Father has had the power to heal me this whole time and he never lifted a hand to heal me not once?
I'm not sure if I'm Eve from the Garden of Eden but if I was how does just that punishment fit the crime? If I have been coming back all these centuries to pay penance for that one apple when is enough enough?
I don't even know if it was JC in that garden? Had to of been. If the face of JC keeps coming back and changing then who the flock knows?
Common denominator are these two right here.
No they were not the first two beings. Not even close. This planet has been remodeled along with its occupants going way way back.
I know for a fact if I've been watched this closely then so the flock was Eve. No way she ate that forbidden fruit without God knowing.
Then when I screamed at him who is that black shadow God? Is it you? I remembered later that was not the case. I had just asked Cyn the name of the dishwasher that used to follow me around? Good times this name. I even went back and said are you sure its not the Russian dishwasher that used to kiss me on the cheek and tells me he loves me? No that would be to easy. Vladimir. A Mexican Vlad. Imagine that? Just keeps getting better.
So after it dawned on me just everything I went through pounding my fists on Gods chest grabbing him by the throat demanding he release my dogs.
Telling me who I really am watching me hurt flock this God shit. Neglect on me and this planet? Because of these two you could of gotten rid of so so long ago before everything got so out of hand? You watched only? I don't give a flock what I agreed to. I'm only human after all God. Having a human experience for mankind. Where the flock is the humanity man? The humane in humanity. The humane in the human? Just where the flock did this go?
Just how the flock do I forgive God my Father? I'm angry that after all I went through with that family upstairs from so many different perspectives each one. Then I find out I'm not finished? Now God wants a piece of me too?
Are you flocking kidding me? I mean who doesn't want face time with God right? The blessings in this family are just bountiful. Really?
You drop all this shit on me? I want none of what you have to offer. Keep your riches keep your mother flocking house. Keep your mother flocking jewels. I don't want no gold crown. I'm starting to feel like Eve in that garden. Maybe smarter this time? I have no idea what that fucking black snake offered?
So no God. keep what you offer. I know inside you'll protect me and my children for the greater good of mankind and your mother flocking son, but no God like I told my mother long ago, "you can't buy my love."
I don't want power God, I want justice. I want a simple life with good people. Heal them God. Hold my children, I will do as you ask living in a flocking society that gets to decide if and how I eat? I get scraps while they have a full plate. You keep or my guides, angels, brother's and sister's seem to come in from up above to make sure I am given just enough to get by and be thankful for my fathers blessings you bestow upon me.?
Ill just keep writing my discoveries moving along everyday wheather I hurt or not.
Sorry to bite the hand that feeds me. After what I have seen happen to my family all these centuries? I am angry at you. I can't for the first time ever on this journey let this one issue go?
I not only deserve an answer but my children do too? I'm just so angry I can't seem to hear or see you. Yes dad anger stems from pain too.
I know your hurting me and keeping me hurting to piss me off for my emotions all so I can become this families rabid bitch. Make me hungry and hurt enough, right dad? Abuse or Love? Love and hate are a fine line after all. Reminds me of those who abuse the dogs? Hurt them. Beat them. Starve them. Make them hungry. Make them mean. Cold hearted bitches right God?
My grandmother had it right when she burned her families documents at least she didn't want her children to be treated like dogs. Your love God to me is very cold. Just like my children's father.
Yes I have figured out this universal thought process is coming from you isn't it? Forgiveness this time I'm not sure how?
I have a twenty one year old who wants to marry a kid she met abroad. I'm angry because again God there is nothing I can do while I am out here to stop it. After what I have learned about commitments in this family and how loyal we women are to our husbands? Marriage of endurance right God? The other just waiting for her mother and you pull this shit? A postponement until after I am 49 years old? Another Christmas and other holidays without my children? I don't have a choice do I? I never did did I? Their is nothing inside me that would ever make me raise my hand and say yes God I'll do this? I'll hurt my children like this? Another man? Another postponement? Looking back out of the men who said they wanted to marry me. After awhile I realized I didn't want to marry them. Their egos so big it never dawned on them why that is?
So God I ask is this love or just part of the big evol plan? You claim to love my mother and your children. Yet you allow this to happen to your wife? Your daughter and her children for centuries? How is allowing others to be harmed in the bigger scheme of things good dad?
I get it? The lessons alone in humanity and mankind are huge but as a husband and father you should set a better example so we can actually learn what love really is? I'm still not feeling it. The only thing I have learned about honesty in this system is more purgatory and jails. More punishment for being truthful and honest. If your God then I'm here to tell you just as your daughter I deserve better from you and so do my children.
Truth is in the last few days since it finally sunk in that you were the one behind this all along Hope sunk. I realized all along you've been keeping Hope just afloat. Barely afloat when she sees the light God she soars. This whole journey I have never seen Hope slammed to the ground so many times and told to start over or not yet. This time God Hope can't get back up. Inside my heart God hope can't get back up. Not because I don't have Faith in you or me.
This job I had no idea I had my whole life but to find out you broke my heart? My own father broke my heart? You allowed this to be done to me? In doing this to me you did it to my children? In front of my children with my children? To be hurting and no help? The set up alone all the way around is horrifying God? Out of all the broken hearts you showed me I endured and why I was able to endure it for so long is because I was born with a broken heart and I didn't know any better? You did my Father my God and you either just watched or walked away. You have a cold heart. Not me God. Remember mine's just broken. You have the power to heal it and you wont. You have the power to heal my spine and you won't. You wanted honesty dad you got it. Crimes of the heart dad. Yours or Satan's? Is it my heart that's up for grabs dad? Is it my heart that you sacrificed and put on the line all these centuries or is it your precious sons?
Today I'm here for my mother's, my children. Not for you. You can keep your precious son. Oh yeah God don't worry I'll be sure to stay loyal. Don't worry I know my place. Right where you put me. Purgatory.
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