My Nines

Oh you bet your sweet ass I'm angry. To discover the nines and who they are and just who they represent really pisses me off. The nines my original nines from Adam and Eve in that garden are truly mine after all with a trinity backup to boot. To find out the truth in that garden and just where Adam was and why she felt so abandoned and alone? Fucking asshole! Just had to have your cake and eat it to. Lilith you son of a bitch! The tears and the rage inside me. You created the curse on Lilith and Eve with your lies and deception. What did this brother tell you? You piece of shit mother fucker. The pain inside my heart is unbearable. All those hits to my spine and heart all these years. You made my children go back and clean Anne's house when she had three daughters of her own.

You and Anne left all five girls alone after my daughter's had to clean her house. Then the next day you made my two daughters clean it again because it wasn't good enough for Anne. The five apples and five girls? The next day five apples are gone and Alex get's blamed. You poisoned me you asshole and I am Gaya this time and you poisoned me and my children and I am going to kill you where you stand. I don't give a fuck who's fathe3r you are. I am going to shut the mother fucking door and throw away that key forever. I am going to slit your throat and gauge out your eyes you mother fucker. I am going to tear your heart out and no brother I wouldn't feed your heart to my wolves or anything on this planet and earth. Ashes to ashes dust to dust brother. I'm coming for your cold dead black heart.

You stole my wedding ring that I paid for you self entitled lil bitch. Irony asshole! London blue Topaz with ten lil diamonds across the bridge. Ten years of marriage and I wasn't even in your journal not even a thought. Not our children, our honeymoon, our wedding. I had to go to your work and confront this husband and wife that you are not her knight and shining armor with your boss sitting there. You certainly weren't mine either. You as usual said nothing. All those years I told you money doesn't grow on tree's. When we are young we work hard for things. Then later in life like your parents and my parents we accumulate and retire.

The only time you'd mow the lawn was when you found out I was gonna pay the neighbor boy. You abandoned me all those years all so you can run off in the woods. Oh yeah you asshole I found it. Those journals you stole from me. The night you came home to tell me you and Mary are going out to celebrate a new contract together with my office. You remember, you not getting paid but just enough to cover our mortgage yet again because you are a spineless coward. Who had to rush with two young children, her grandmother dying down one end of the highway and her fathers life falling apart up the other direction? You nitpicked the shit out of me the whole fucking time while you just had to keep getting out of town and taking a break.

You wouldn't let KiKi walk across the street to eat after school at my house but you wouldn't let her go to the store either. While you remodeled the kitchen you gave no thought to how Kiley was going to eat and she was eating green beans out of a can, telling me its alright mommy, I like eating cold green beans out of a can. Not one article of clothing I ever bought for these girls came back to me either. You remember it was my responsibility. I bought eight bathing suits in one summer alone and still Kiley is wearing shorts and tights to parties. You wouldn't even let the girls have a picture of us together in their rooms. I never understood how your actions behind the scenes? How you spoke to me and how you spoke in front of other's?.

In these papers that I had to break into my own office one night after you and Mary went out to celebrate is nothing but the truth of a mother literally asking her husband for help for the sake of her children and when I asked you to please put Alex to bed I can't do it, you wouldn't. She was running free with no supervision and you expect me to be able to go to bed?  I kept explaining I can't until I know she is safe in bed. So I asked you what is so important on the computer that it couldn't wait? Your reply, "so I can go to bed and relax." I heard this everyday from you. Just a lil while longer, I'll stop. I'll slow down and do my part and when it came time just after I get you set up again with two businesses, you sign it all over including my personal accounts.

I had to ask for everything. It actually says in these papers, I felt the light again. Conversations with God. I even said I hadn't felt you in two years. So I started taking my life back. I set boundaries, I painted and added color to my house and I told you to hire someone that I just want to oversee the office that I had to much on my plate for the first time in my life and you bailed and sold me out. Your work horse. Yeah you mother fucker, I got Germany's, Japan's and Hawaii's anger through you.

The gold mine. The backpack over half my weight down a 1700 foot cliff. Had to carry my weight right Greg? Everywhere we went that you were supposed to be in charge of. I paid the price. The river of snakes in California and what you said to me? I had worked long hours all week and prepared and packed everything so it can all just get loaded up. It was finally dawned on me that these road trips aren't fun anymore. It had been a long week and a long day. It never occurred to anyone that I wasn't just married to Greg. I was married to basically four or five other guys at a time. Yes I loved our friends, but I was the only woman in this bunch. It never dawned on anyone that I worked to provide Greg's pretty lil life. I had to go through all these guys anytime I bought anything or did anything for myself. Who's credit got the house?

I had just popped open a water and sat down. Everyone else get's up to start unloading my car, Jeff, James and Xavier. They just get to my car and you look at me and you say, "what are you doing sitting there?  \You need to help unload the car. You need to do your part." You didn't Greg, You didn't did you? You made mountains our of mole hills. You abandoned your wife when I most needed you and you took the easy way out. You didn't know how to do any of it did you Greg? I took the blame with my sister for your Royal Crown under my car seat. I didn't even hardly touch a drink, did I Greg?

My sleep doctor was right. I was carrying the load of three mothers. When he said if you don't sleep you will die. Your dying. Why couldn't I sleep you son of a bitch? All those years of you getting up in the night turning off the heat in the house. Even in the winter, you'd tip toe out of bed, I'd watch you, wait for you to fall back to sleep and I'd turn it back on. It's all there.  I had wondered what happened to those papers. I had no clue I had them all along. What it was like to be married to Cane. Just why I had no energy. Through the pregnancies. You made sure I worked my ass off during both and you made me beg for the most basic necessities in life. You took credit where lite3rally credit was not due to you.. All those parties I threw for you.

You planted those seeds in my belly and ever since I have paid in your purgatory of lies. All those things that happened to my children. Always the nines. Kiley what a trooper and she doesn't even know why she's paying for those nines. Wake up happy as a lil flower each day. Just like her mother no matter what she took on the day before. Yeah you piece of shit my children are walking through your muck. They had to relive everything I went through with you. This depression in the guys around Alex and the depressions in the ground are from you.

Everything we do on this planet has a cause and effect in mother nature. Her animals, her garden's, her waters, minerals and mountains. We cause it with our actions and behaviors no matter what we believe. Yeah these two have created the darkness that you do not see anymore because they taught you not to see it long ago. Through these taxes, and all these guidelines and parameters in our judicial system. In our healthcare and food in which they suck the life and money out of you. Make you feel guilty, like your not worthy to even use a restroom, or worthy of food because their just isn't even for these human beings you treat as garbage. All to keep your pretty houses and your pretty life serving a system. Not on my clock.

Your dead. I'm done. I don't give a fuck what it takes. No wonder I couldn't get you to meet me alone. A few words out of me and your true colors are going to appear just in your fear of me alone. Yeah I see you. You mother fucker. All you can do is suck the energy and life out of me. Nothing else, except your physical form. I don't need a weapon, you piece of shit. All I need are the wings I wear upon my back.

One fallen angel named Vlad. Black magic all around you. Yeah I know why I felt poisoned and still I kept it together regardless of what you all think. Satan on Snq. P.D. I heard he's playing on the wrong team. He's here for his son. You are dead. Number three Cane. Oh Cane, my brother, I am going to hurt you. I am going to remove you brother. No more poisonous foundation to regrow on. Well could it be this Lucifer is the big ant, that sits in Gaya's bowels? Oh you cunt and all you lil minion E.T's who thinks this planet's essence and souls belong to you. Think again. God's flock, My rock. My diamond, not yours.

I am ready for war. Cane, guess what other sister I found long ago? That would be Mercy. Oh yeah another sister who is real pissed off?  Jezebel, the one that keeps pulling me down to keep me hidden to cover up your secrets and lies about me. That cunt, the one in which you placed the Jezebel label upon her head. For your lies of your affair. How many others were there? I mean you felt entitled because you were a man right? The son. That precious spineless coward.

Yeah that cunt of a mother you have. Acheluis  to protect her lil baby boy. I assure you ain't no legend across any land a saint. You were all just products of your society serving these two. You bet your sweet ass Jezebel is pissed. You made her remember? Cause and effect from way back then repeating itself today. Just in a different way. I want you out of my house, out of my business and yes it's time now for me to get my wish.

After all you put me through Greg, I still couldn't stab you in the back. Not in words or prayer. People offered many times to take you out. My answer was no he is the father of my children. Those hands feed my children. No matter what you did to me, I would not put it in words or actions. Well their was that wish, that one wish. That you would not be harmed, but that poof you'd just disappear.

Oh Cane, one other thing, I'm going to tell my daddy on you. Not the one upstairs, I assure you he knows but the Big Daddy down here. I'm starting to see the light on this daddy, who he is. Who he represents and why? Who caused his two mothers to die on that fatal day. Oh I am going to enjoy watching you die. Oh Cane, Lucifer, Satan and Fallen Angel, guess what? My daddy is bigger than your daddy. My daddy's wields a mighty big fist, and I can't wait. Thy Kingdom Come, My Will Be Done. On this planet and on your head. Like I used to sing to my girls. "Ding dong the wicked witch is dead" It is you and that feminine presence I get from you isn't it brother?

I'm just here to set the record straight. The Sin of Assume. You all thought you had it right, with all these degrees and technology. All this truth in these big books that you labeled, when truly you separated out all the truth long ago. When that happened it makes it all open to personal interpretation, by looking at and only learning one thing and one way. This is my storm and my family. The storm of EMUSSA is coming. I gladly take credit for this one right along with my family. My families justice is gonna hurt.