Wednesday, April 20, 2022

We Belong

 We Belong/PB

She's write how fitting that V of peace from just one of my granddaddy's hand signals B4 I left all the way back to the V in the last painting of the Last Supper. C ing that V in her name, 2 hands in the air then the letter Y standing with two hands in the air. There R two thru out history. I'm a little Tao the yin the yang balance. I keep going back on and off to what I said the last time in Cowlitz county. When I put my right hand on my heart and said to Michael crying  "these people R hungry for food, they R hungry for love. On a walk I went on with V our topics? One being when she's thanking me for feeding Michael. Common denominator or clue? Food and love. What does a mother feed U from the very start, we feed food and love. These 2 do go hand in hand. Also kept hearing 2 mothers. Anne and Mary Consecutively. Then Wendy. The storm.

Harden My Heart/ Quarterflash

How I've been listening to and hearing the insanity all of my life. Zion, my mother, a schizophrenic or a seer. Whom just happens to be so mentally ill she has a scientific and a spiritual label. I wasn't thinking of V and her agreement when I was on her lot making mine 2. How I've been saying their have always been 2 thru out history and time and God is energy. Crystal clear energy. Standing in front of God the first thru fourth time, I did not see, but everything permeated me. He shot straight for the heart, my answer my children. For my children. U know the who's. U knew what was going 2 cum for my children. Not where, when and why.


 As for 2, First it was V, then it was Gary. He's a good man. The only one who treated me as an equal and didn't hit on me. In any one of his characters that he represented. What a gift to watch participate all the while feeling safe sleeping in the facinity. If he was going 2B gone during the night he let me know. 


To me he represented of John the baprist, his tragic death I later found out (history channel). What he would be today being whom he really is a prophet and a seer. The curse of our system, creating all these grey areas, in that HIPPA. I'm not allowed to C. 2C in others heart's. To hear what they R saying when no one else hears or sees bcuz U put laws and guilt, that label and pharmaceuticals


Friday, April 8, 2022

Beings Standing In My Room

First Home/The gateway in the land of king's as a newborn, then where I was born from about 1 to 2 years old. I was born in the land of kings.

Monticello Apartment's. My grandparent's managed them. The color Pepto Bismo pink. I lived here from 2 to 4 years old. Cowlitz County.  

A toad in my crib

A birdie close by from age 2 to 4. He lived at the Monticello Apartment's. 4 more throughout life. 

A 15 year old in Adams County, had crush on my boyfriend. Name Birdie.

A inmate from Alcatraz, who went off when I asked him about reestablishing himself in society. He went off.

Then the last two were lawyers. One was disbarred right after my divorce was finalized. 

A Mr. Bird who told me 2 let the rape go with a company that kept calling the police the last one accused me of being a prostitute and I needed to be on that land. I was at the counter asking about protocol. Walked out going to my white sign in the woods. A man comes up 2 me that I had a conversation with 2 evenings B4 and he said she just called the police and said your a prostitute on the lot. Then a cop drives by. I ducked under a semi and crawled in that guys semi. I know better. I worked there. That agreement and Faith to go thru any open door or invited to cross.

I wanted nothing from this business. I knew the agreement I made. I was told from a medium that the slime on me is from my female ancestors. My daughter worked on that lot. Like rape hasn't come up in my life. Not me personally. They wanted me to walk thru the system and King Counties abuse of power with that HIPPA form victimizing your victims. Talk about slavery, I don't think so. Get this shit off my rock. On top small print, emotions and spirituality. I believe it's number 9 that I may only pray within a religion. I do not think so. It tells U your rights but in order to get service U have no rights. Fuck U.

From 5 to 8

Rainier, Oregon Clackamas County

A man with a man body and dog head a staff in his hand. Pointy nose he'd stand outside my window and look down at me with one eye. 

A Native woman on my bed, long black straight hair and a doe skin dress arm extended to me. My sister said she had her on my bed. Finally got a hold of her recently. She told me that yes as a child she always had something standing in her room. I knew she was a SEER. Truth Seeker.

A huge wolf that sits on it's ass and can stand upright. First it was a shadow of a wolf sitting there. Arms on elbows staring at me. One night my whole room lit up I was 7 to 8. It was coming from my closet only now he's not a shadow, he's all white with red little girls in red dresses with red hair and red bows hanging all over him.

Castle Rock

My cousin screamed one night because a Hell's Angel was looking in her window. I saw the shadow of a wolf.

Toutle River

My whole family is camping and motor cycle riding. I'm sleeping in a hatchback with 2 of my younger cousins. I wake up and there is a blond woman with a messy pony tail, t-shirt and zip up sweatshirt. She was knocking on the window, or making the signal of knocking waving me to come over and open the window. I did not.

Third Grade we moved again. Every year we moved. Still Cowlitz county. Pea Green house. My school Barnes Elementary. I had the red room with a red carpet. This time it's a man whittling wood standing between closet and doorway. Some nights Id get up and look out the window in the sky on my left a rainbow egg is floating in the sky facing North. When I'd escape to get in bed with my sister it was a black shadow at the door.

Still 3rd grade we moved again, same county. Different house. Olympic Grade school. Like Greece hasn't come up in my lifetime. I don't really remember anything in my room. One more move with just my mother and me for the summer. Black shadow was the watcher here and actually we moved again back to king county still the black shadow 4th grade. Highlands Elementary. Yes I am a Highlander.

Shadows Of The Night/PB

We moved on the other side of the block the summer going into 5th grade. Same school. I hated this place. A dirty white duplex. Went to church with my best friend on average twice a week. Forced to go to church with my babysitter at times. Her father a pastor. They spoke tongues. It scared me, especially when bam out of nowhere I get hit with a ear infection. I had to stand up front crying holding my ear while strangers put there hands on me speaking in tongues. Needless to say she was no longer my sitter.

This was the year my brother was in a car wreck, just after my mother screamed at him no you can't come home for Christmas, I wish you'd fucking go off and die. He did. I was standing right behind her.

I had no idea for years what these things were. At the time Gwen's mom told me if you think a demon is there it is there. I would scream in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you. I had watched a movie called the Sentinel from early 70's. This woman had black beings walk out of her wall's. I chalked it up to that. It's in my imagination from that movie or it's demons.

They had spindly legs and arm's. some short, some tall. They'd crawl around my room. For 2 years I had these thing's. I once again would lay on my side watching them move around, watching me. I'd get a kink in my neck and have to lay on my back and turn my head 2 C them. I'd cross my arms across my chest. I felt like they wanted to stake me in the chest. Then 2 short ones were shaking my bed when I fell asleep watching them.

What About Love/Heart

Now I know why? They are part of the cause of the depressors. The grey's. The grey houses. My grey sports bra sitting vigilance at that red rock where I stuck the staff in the ground. I knew it represented something. Kaphoon, Japan, Mars, My Japanese mother in law raised in Hawaii. Pearl Harbor, and the Girl With the Pearl Earring, Her birthdate 9/11. twins kept coming up. Twin towers and the Israelites. To the big apple, twin towers and ISIS. Wall Street is coming down. 

The 3rd and 4th time I almost drowned another pause in Hawaii. Round top park my 2nd wedding to Greg overlooking 5 main attractions the toilet bowl, another four for me. He didn't notice he was by our friends. He touched my shoulder and laughed. A big Samoan blocked the crack and pulled me up.

We moved again the summer going into middle school. Honey Dew Estates. Still a Highlander. The things standing in my room stopped. I'd wake up a couple times a night for a minute, knowing I had been talking to someone. Someone or something was just here. 

I got woke up one night. I had just cleaned my room. It sounded like a mousses nails scurrying on paper. I turned on my lamp and crawled to the foot of the bed bent my head and shoulders down, I awoke a few hours later, looking at the clock sitting up in bed. My covers up to my waist. All I knew at this point was that my grandma Lily told me my uncle sleep walked. I thought that is what I was doing.

Fall City/Mayan Calendar/2012

My whole room lit up, and my great grandmother showed up in my room showing thru her in red the time 3:16. All dressed in Lavender with a matching head scarf. Cherokee from 12 who married a Navajo. She had a purple book and rosary in her left hand and her right hand in the air. Vietnam war era is what her cloth's reminded me of. I'm screeching pulling away, throwing my pillows through her, trying to get out In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke U. She floated to the door and turned left. She looked over her shoulder to the left at me. I'm still doing my chant, trying to hit my lamp. I turned it on and she was gone.

Then 2 tall grey's showed up on 2 different night's right after. I didn't have to turn around. My 3rd eye opened and I said my JC chant and he disappeared. The next night another one showed up again with a blanket in his hand. I did the exact same thing as the first only I got half way thru my JC chant, and he threw the blanket on my head.

Name of park in Fall City? Quigley Park. I served at Raging River, my trainer a red headed Ariel. I have also been through all my red's in my life. My first meeting to Chair, Fall City, the Rose with a picture of my girls singing at this church for Christmas to my left. Plus I stayed 2 months with a Rose, Fall City. Standing in front of the steps and traditions asking myself, how did I get here? Now I know.

I first spoke in Fall City about what I saw walking thru town, window shopping. My clueless walk. I stopped and looked behind me each step I took there was an explosion. 

I have already written since this agreement the beings that have shown up since I moved here all the weird beings in my house, people travelers, old souls, Aliens. To think I said in 3rd grade wouldn't it be great if I took the Alien's to the white house and introduced to the President?





The 

God Gave Me U/BS

 Well so many list, so little time. They obviously have been going over, Greg and my mom, like every scene of these 2 taking my time and energy for granted, creating more demands. Having me give away my things. These two just coming along and stealing from me. Ruining my character and good name. Truly these 2 are copy cat's. Just both playing games and abandoning me. Selling my stuff. Nit picking the fuck out of me. The grapes of Wrath is right. Making jokes when I'm serious. Raised as an object, then being treated like I'm a possession nothing more. Every time it was my day, Greg ruined it, my mother B4, and Elaine. All compulsive liars and blamers.

Love Story/TS

Then more list, all the times I stood in front of God, then JC. At least that's what then.

When and where these beings showed up and disappeared.

The end of my dreams I never knew I had, and all those vivid dream's I never forgot. Now that I've been back over these standing next to God screaming, punching him in the arm, screaming no no I don't want to go back. Halloween 2016. 3 dreams. My first time coping on this journey but now I understand them. Pretty much all of them/

My flowers where and when I discovered my flowers.

My wardrobe

My diet

my colors

my colors of houses

Total Eclipse Of The Heart/BT

How they taught me slowly over time

All those beings standing in my room from beginning of life thru 6th grade

My flashes I'd get on and off, sequentially so. Years and years apart.

The location the first time I played sequence, the names of the people. Aunt Mary, blue eyed Jack and Dave and it was my chair that broke that night.

Making a list of what other mediums have told me in my life, the ones that were real that is.

When I took my first communion and when I was saved and where.

5 years old Adam's county, my grandma Catherine gave me my first cross with the lords prayer.

First time at Christian Church age 3 my cousins Kimm and James, On and off for a few years then fourth thru 9th grade. Some things didn't make sense and I couldn't relate to the bible and I find out all these big books of hope are about me.


2012 Mayan calendar Fall City

Names I heard in the beginning, first I applied it to people I know here with the names and situations from the past, like conversations and with who and when? All those short conversations I had with people in my past, family then friends, then History. Then further and further out to the planets and stars.

Connect Four, yes I connected the 4. I played war with my girls with connect 4 to teach them strategy, focus. It's the four horsemen. I have been thru all my numbers in my life.

The names and I heard in the beginning.

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Abuse and slavery? Who really pays?

 Thunder/ID

Good song. Been awhile once again since I have written. I laughed the last day I tried to force myself to, March 31, 2022. It was blank. I just didn't even know where to begin anymore, at that time. Maybe my hands weren't functioning. Who knows anymore. Been taken back thru my whole GodDamned life someone is alway's making me pay. Just for walking away. Not alowwed to speak or defend. 

Lose Yourself/eminem

Want what I have. Then they just come in and take it. Take everything. When I said the second prayer from the heart after my first councelor, My verbage, not being disrespectful, at a loss for this controlling psycho behavior. Then the threats, for nothing, thinking they own me, they have a right to control me. They have the right to make me pay every step of the way. Then they punich take. Destroy your character, and credit.

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark/FOB

Then I marry a man, yhe exact same behaviors and characteristics. Talk about highway robbery. Brothers, codes and doors. The Bleeding hearts blocking Rana's door. All those years, all that time, all those lies of once again, no logic. Being shown how I handed him a journal to write down his emotions after Quigley lost his leg, telling him it's important to purge your emotions. Being shown how not one time during any emergency. Family emergency, auto emergency, personal emergency, misscarriages, and almost miscarriages, pregnancies high risk and he didn't lift one finger to help me ever. He did not acknowledge any pain, migraines. Telling me I shouldn't give my children Tylenol during fever and teething at night. My Clue with this was after our divorce a medium told me, do not ask him for anything it gives him power. I didn't understand that then, knowing what I know now?

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked/CTE

Being walked thru Father past and literally every time he was expected to help me, he would just decide no. Literally tell me that. I have been walked thru every time I asked for anything in my marriage with him, I was told no. Being taken thru both of these mentally ill people, including Elaine, None capable of empathy or love. They have been in charge of my life. I have been threatened and black mailed just for sport by Zion and both just sucking the energy out of me with these unrealistic expectations and demands. Then U big brother no defense once so ever. The Grey's the Mayen Calendar Fall City 2012. Blanket justice and blame. First my great grandmother with 3 16 in red showing thru her purple atire from Vietbanm War error, purple book, purple cross in left hand, right hand in air. Now I understand. Then two different nights right after 2 tall greys pop in standing behind me. I didn't have to turn around or open my eyes. I said ICU, ICU standing there. My usual chant, in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you.

Centuries/Fall Out Boys

Then one to two nights later the second one showed up and I responded and reacted the same way. Only the second one threw a blanket on my head. The depression, the grey's. Twin towers, and Isreal/God Moses slavery for the Israelites. From what I can tell now slavery hasn't ever gone away. Not with all these prejudices, hate and restrictions. Talk about slavery and oppression. Learning from what I can see thru out history slavery has remained consistent in one form or another. Learning why my great grandma Bishop threw away her 7 little Bishops birth certificates, including hers and her husbands. Didn't want her children to be treated like dogs. The clue, the migraines and Lincoln standing in chains. Learning my prayer went from taking on my families burdens and stop this circle of abuse. My second prayer the word circle of abuse and slavery. I hate slavery.