Drown In U/Daughtery

 To think rightj off the bat I got taken back to that pause moment? The 4 times I almost drown. The locations and the names and roles of people in my life, the one's who lifted me or pulled me out? Cowlitz river my first number 4 in my life. I was 4 years old. It was my sister. Age 7 Kelso Washington in a pool I slipped into the center, and my cousin James is trying to reach me. I'm holding my right hand up so he could reach me. Hawaii I think Hawaii was 16 or 17. Just kept getting pulled further and further out to sea. George Paddleford and his friend bring a board out and put me on it. My Honey moon, looking down at one of the sites in Hawaii the tolilet bowl. I was rolling around under and a big Somaone guy blocked the Crack and pulled me up. Greg didn't even notice. He laughed put his hand on my shoulder and walked away.

It's not Me/3 Doors Down

I can't get over the last alien that showed up in broad day light. I saw a red towel and I have 2 go by the entrance to the kitchen. I turned around telling myself I did not see that. Then I heear my bathroom door go bang. NOw I'm telling myself nope I did not hear that either. Then I heard what she said and I knew why? I just hadn't processed what she clearly said? I laid down early bcuz as the day went on my muscles were geting weaker. I needed to rest them if I wanted to be able to move freely soon. I lift myself off my couch I make it 2 the front door. My hand On the knob.

Killshot?eminem

I turn and I C her go from my bathroom to my bedroom still holding the red towel over her shouulders. I get like 12 feet from my door and I collapse. I can't move a muscle. So I laid there. I tried texting Sarah later I realized it was incoherent. My muscles didn't work. After about an hour my neighbors who had just moved, came back for a load. It took both of them to lift me and drag me in2 my partment.

Thunder/ACDC

Then it struck me like a bolt of lightening just what she said quite clearly. Colleen I think U should know your mothr is on the lot still. Look what I do? I go outside when she's trying to warn me to help me. Then I wondered why she hid? I mean after all the alien's and spiritual beings in those stars and constellations, Our family. Where their is a life there is a soul. U don't own my souls. Just like when I stomped back to that black pipe after shaking a water bottle and black feather at it for like 4 hours. It was like almost 11 I think. I said those R my souls. Those souls belong to me. Then I walked up above and I pointed to where I stuck that staff in the ground. I piled garbage all around it. A milk carton and I bloody back bird on top. Then I continued my scream, my chant. Get the fuck off my Rock. Over and over my arms open wide. Stomping my feet.

Call Me/Shinedown

Then like lil miss muffet. I crossed my arms and sit on that grate. That over flow well. Just when I looked down, 2 black snake heads popped up. Well so did my tuffet. That isn't something you'd ever expect to C. Especiall of all time's? This is where I heard the word prohibition. That scarlet letter A and just what they did. They took over and industrialized U. U had no right's. U had no Truth. Alway's a minimizer, a liar. U no longer have Truth. The character asssaination these 2 did on me. After all that counceling, and mediums I went 2 and was still doing. 

If Today Was Your Last Day

Fuck yeah and I had no shame. That is what they R there for. To help U find yourself again. I was put in purgsatory for ever going. All bcuz of that prayer that I said when that councelor told me, That isn't discipline, that's abuse. I cried with my hands in the air. Thankful I aborted Rose. I didn't want history to repeat itself. I didn't want to resesnt any1. I didn't want to ever be a single mother either. Knowing it takes 2. Weather your a mother or a father. Could B 2 mothers, or 2 fathers. As long as U love in your heart. If U break up the priority won't B money. Your done putting a price on my children's heads. All bcuz your unjustified system says so? Fuck U. Just Fuck U. I call Bullshit and I point my finger's up even higher than any justified system.

Everything Changes

Right thru those planet's and stars. Cum and get me. I assure U I've been thoroughly scweged about just who it is that I am? Yes I like myself just fine. On GAru's chest written backwards. Dante's Inferno, the seers with there heads tuned backwards? The Gifted the TV show. U hot the nail on the head right there. Hippa Emotions and spititually? Number 9? I can only pray within a religion? Fuck U. I'm Freedom and thereaint no freedom up in this house. Oh hell know based on pharmaceuticals, labeling U and turning off the higher beings? The schizophrenic? U blocked evolution all Bcuz U wanted to profit off of there losses from everything from the inside out.

Arms Widw OPen

Funny U can't say Jesus Christ anywhere but a box. A home ot church. Jesus was here for his mother. U try figuring out just wwhick mother. Your sister, Your daughter. Your wife and her seed, or my son. The reason why the Bride in the beginning. I hated this word. Everytime I'd yell. Then next in the bible on the fateway sum quote off the History Channel, IC it.

The Bride/Groom, The Alpha/Omega and biblically He/SHE. There was a time I wondered why so many women born with dicks? Now I know. I know why he kept saying 2 me? I was standing right there. I was standing right there. Long b4 this it went thru my head that I feel like my guirdian angel is banging her head on a rock. Now I find out it;s a he and he's inside of me. He's been hiding. I don't know how many times he came out and point blank said Your talking to Jesus Christ. The first time end of November 2015. I scribed in shock, then I went to bed and forgot all about it. I just moved forward. I disccovered I learned this triat in my childhood. Letting things go. No acknoweldedgment or appology. To survive being raised by a narcisistic socipoath. U learn to do nothing to let things go or I'd never of survived. Be a victim or feel sorry for myself. I had wondered about just this my whole life? It never seemed to end. Letting things go and moving foward. To thine Own Self Be True.

Red Is The Rose/The High Kings

What am I to say? U once again hooked me up with a man who does not care of me or mine. Just himself. I had compassion once again and I froze when he spoke of his past just like B4. Compassion and understanding. The coldness that keep's getting repeated thru out his life. I guess I'm to blame. I'm trying to stop it but he won't listen,

Another man that thinks I'm so less than that he doesn't owe me an explanation or call when he can't show up. Four times he's done this over what God say's. What a liar. He thinks just like the other's, I'm second class to him, to technology U have in your hand. He's heinous. U make plan's U either show or message with that technology. How do U expect me to do this again who doesn't R E S P E C T 4 me or anyone else? Been done there done that. U wonder why I don't Trust? U show me this? I don't expect perfection.

She Is His Only Need/WJ

Quite frankly I'd be intimidated if he was perfect. This a man whom can't give me respect enuf to let me know when he cannot show? It's a part of what I am not. All my life I fought this behavior. I'm second even if I am lucky enuf to count, I'm invisible. I'm in purgatory I'm in hell, I'm not allowed to speak. let alone be noticed. I just like other's on my rock have been asked to sit in other's men shite. Your white, U hurt once upon a time. I still hurt 2day.

When U say Nothing At All/A Krause

I've gotten answer's to the end of every dream. Every pause moment in my life. Take a pause. That's your answer. I don't need pity. I don't need anyone's pity. I need Truth. I need Grace. They exist and I hurt.

Fire And Rain/JT

I want to run. I don't want to be touched. I feel like after my divorce and Carey would chase me, 2 grab me hold me while I cried. I don't want to be touched. Not by Him. He just like so many other's doesn't know what love is and whose gonna pay? Me. I'm going to pay. Just like I said to that first councilor. The punishment doesn't fit the crime. I finished, I looked over as he picked his jaw off the floor. He said not discipline, abuse. I got in my car and I cried and I said my second prayer. Give me my families abuse. A pause moment? I've been thru every kind of abuse, and I still stand.

You've shown me something completely different than them. Then I heard it, U do what U want when U want because your entitled? U come home for important days, what makes U think it wasn't all important. U did what U wanted because of your ding a ling? U decided? Now I truly understand why I don't want anyone. I will always be treated like this.

U think your smarter? I lived my life chained to a leash. U did what U wanted. Go ahead blame me for feeling how I feel, I'm only human right?

Fuck U.

The Eagle Is A Religious Symbol

I found this article or someone sent it to my messenger, The Eagle Is A Religious Symbol as well as a national one. This was in Redlands Daily Fact's published on 7/6/2018. The Eagle came up from the start. I was told by another medium 15 plus years ago that all my spirit animals are white. 

The bald eagle in man with the sky blue eagle eye's May 2015. The eagle in the shadow under a light. I knew right away it was an eagle. The Red Book, why did the eagle's shadow show up in the mountain? I hated metaphors and to think when it was written it meant something else.

Gary the prophet whom comes B4 had me put on a shirt over my clothes one night B4 I went out to dance around the staff in the middle of the night. It was baby blue with an eagle and my second number 19 to come up. The next morning I came walking out and Gary laughed asking me why I had that dirty t-shirt on? That's the problem with someone who goes off in different dimensions, memory. He wasn't wrong with his request at that time, however he is right it's pretty dirty. 

The flag kept coming along. I stick a flag in the ground every time I go back. One day I was looking at it and it was the eagle on top that caught my eye. Another eagle. The flag and eagle are supposed to represent freedom and their ain't no freedom up in this house. Slavery don't give a flying flock the color of your skin.

Standing at the Doctor's office waiting 4 the taxi and a car goes by right at the corner where I'm standing with a white Eagle. Like a White shadow of an Eagle. That's when I went thru the cards that Kylie brought me. Who did I discover? That yes he is my guide. I was so excited 2 get that answer.  (I can't get the photo of the White Eagle 🦅 up on my blog).

The native man from my dream? I blew up a meth house in Canada, I turned to an open field and down on his haunches was a native man. He gave me guidance home I recon. Then about 2 years ago Kylie gave me a box of spiritual cards and there he was the White Eagle. 

That Pledge of Allegiance and one nation under God? That wonderful magic number 7 that they wouldn't let me forget from the get go? Is it just Solomon's Ring Of Fire standing on this rock or is it the 7 nations I have to get to stand under one God?

I already know the answer's and more. Get on with it already. I can't believe theirs still more.