Living On A Prayer/BJ

Kiss Somebody/ME
Well I've been thinking about the clues in the name and the situations in this system? Going back over some numbers? When they came up? What I saw as I walked along playing charades with my family. The trinity on this ground and in the heaven's. Just how it works? Well I also followed the colors and the hearts. Number five heart pioneer square and a wedding was going to be going on. They went back over my wedding. Almost being drowned in the toilet bowl and washed out to sea. It was my fourth close call. I will swim in a sea of sharks for you? Let's hope that doesn't come to light. When a guy named Michael said just those words to me. I took pause to The Promised Land I wrote in the beginning. How those words are coming back around? All to bite me in the ass. Just like history class. I couldn't sit still for that boring class asking myself "when will I ever need to know this?" It's been so long and to have these past presidents names come back around?

The Best Of MY Love/Eagles
First it was spiritual. Vision quest sort of thing. Knowing things are going to be odd. Yes, God has a sense of humor. Ironic, yes. At times an asshole for his humor and the signs. The time he stood in my kitchen. I was doing dishes and he's leaning against the counter to my right. Arms casually crossed. I was pissed at Him, he put my heart on the line. My own father made me live with a broken heart over and over in every which way. This Rose never picked. The invisible injustice and the illusion? He does a small laugh and holds out his right hand, left arm still crossed at the elbow and he say's "come on do you really think I'm gonna let your heart go?" Who the fuck knows after all that I have learned. I know Faith.

It Is Well With My Soul/Chris Rice
Then or just before as I'm again doing dishes by hand. I saw a huge right palm pass behind me going to the right. I was wondering what was up with a hand the size of my living room? Me wondering what's up with that? Then my bracelet Psalm. "She will not fail." I've been thinking about the time my sister told me and Greg at dinner one night with Brad, she told me my mother dropped him off with a box in front of his dad's house and drove away. I felt like a two ton ball hit me and it bounced. I did not move. I knew it was the Truth. My mothers biggest fear is Truth and that we will speak it. It was always an analytical conversation where we both laugh thinking or saying what we're looking at and the behavior. This woman has a river of denial a mile wide.

Mercy Is A Song/Matthew West
Sweet Justice is mine, one of our conversations was what would this woman do if she had to come to terms with the Truth of what she has done to her own children? Not just us she made everyone pay. She wanted us and others to suffer just for sport. She has left so many bodies in her wake and has gotten away with it and no consequence's ever. She thinks that because she's the mother that she had rights to stir the pot in our lives. She thinks she has the rights to lie, blame and take a swing at her adult children. This woman never speaks for me or my sister or our children and I as a mother had that right to make that decision to walk away.  

What I've Done/LP
My mom noticed I might be pregnant at about 20 years old.  She said to my sister "I'm going to take that baby and raise it myself if she is". My sister and I both laughed at that. Like she thinks we're gonna forget all she's done to us? Abandoning us, destroying us even legally. Planting her seed's of justice upon man. Revenge for speaking or setting a boundary. She always thought oh so funny and she'd step right over any boundaries and laugh. The day she handed my sister the baton dropping her off at Marvin's and we all knew the Truth of who he was. I always referred to it as a gauntlet not a baton, She literally said to my sister, "it's your turn to go through what I've been through". Spitefully so. Nope! No mother made her children pay and kick you when your down than Zion Mary. Pull out the rug, leave you out in the cold. To teach you a lesson. Raised to never re-act to the bad behavior. Not even an expression. No words to defend at the humiliation and accusations.

Listen To Your Heart/Roxette
Yeah I followed the sign's that kept going round and round sequentially so. The first time I played that game, I loved it. The only board game I liked. I'm the smallest person and like Goldilocks and the 3 bears my chair collapsed and I was the smallest one. I woke up with my second whopping migraine ever. Puking in a bowl all the way to work. The names of the people then and the location is key. They have done this journey sequentially so and around around I go. Shut down rebuild. Shut down rebuild. My body hurts and it's tiring. I know I'm almost to the end. This is the end of a new beginning. The Phinal Phase. Yup! I fish with an F. I point my finger up.

Counting Every Blessing/RC
What's it going to be man or the machine? Weather you like it or not your 01 is back. Turns out you've had heaven on earth all along and you didn't even know it. "Now the question is this, those closest to me turning a blind eye to my pain, that did nothing but judge and blame"? I'll leave it up to God. I mean we do have the rapture. Crash! Boom! Bang! Planes, trains and automobiles. First I heard Raptor. Then vela-rapture. Then I learned about the Rapture from Michael. He made a joke in the jungle when he saw a pile of clothes. He went "oh no, the rapture has cum". I asked what's that. I recon the first stage of the storm.

Tequila Sunrise/Eagles
The living stone. The diamond in the rough. The Rapture is me. The Sentinel is me. The whore of Babylon is me, laughing madly with the cup in my hand. Grapes of wrath for this curse. Pan from Japan and the Quaran curse of the Gin. My mother in laws T and T. Her birth date 9/11. Pearl earing. Pearl Harbor. Now I want my pearl necklace. Still have to earn that I recon.

Stairway to Heaven/LZ
I was taking photos of red stairs that first summer disappearing into those blue skies. My Indians and this journey. Yes, my families got a reservation to take this reservation back. They are going to right all wrongs on this rock throughout history. The Constitution keeps coming up. John Adams wants you to know what you have done upstairs to God's flock is unconstitutional. The Highlanders is the grapes of wrath. My Renton Indians, I got this. Lancelot, Liberty and Lindbergh. The land of the Kings. That have fucked up royally. You signed everything over to the wrong Kings. they have all the right's over your heart body mind and soul. The power to keep it to themselves with the passing of these blanket laws. They have taken me to so many flowers. First the Oleander, then the Lily, then the Rose, then the Iris. Iris the Google Dolls played allot during this stage. Michael said when your passionate about something you get a ring of fire around your Iris. Throughout my life people are always telling me something they see in my shit brown eyes, including the color.

Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
The names going round and round. The bad behavior. Being left out in the cold. The snow and rain. All the element's. Three minerals came to mind this morning? Iron, Copper and Titanium. Then Steel. I followed the names of my coats. The first Zero King that Gary gave me. To discover the Truth of whom I really am? Who I carry inside me? Yeah, what a funny guy he is. The mountain I represent is the mountain with the broken heart. My flower at that time in my life, 'The Bleeding Hearts." It dawned on me yesterday, yeah I've been a bleeding heart my whole God Damned life. Bring me the stray. Bring me the weak one, I'll build him up. I mean hell I had a crush on Don Knotts as a child. Doesn't get more bleeding heart than that guy.

Spend A Life/DD
That God damned prayer I said "give me all my families burdens. I'm stronger. I can do it. I can break this circle of abuse. Pam looked at me and said well that's the wrong prayer to of said. You think? Damned prayers from the heart. The agreements made. Then to watch it play out over and over again with my girls. Don't defend, your being rude. No emotions weren't allowed, not with Greg or Zion Mary. The church where the second toilet showed up? The John. My father all the way through adulthood always left the bathroom door open. Sitting on the John.

Superman/5 For Fighting (Book Of Enoch, Friday the 13th, 2016. I cried on a street corner in the dark).
The gold mound I had a few spiritual moments on facing the mountain to the East? The man with the bruno beard? That after every dance and song I turned to it and said this man is mine. This man is mine. I admit not knowing where or whom is this coming from? The black snake that watched me for two days while doing one of my sit ins letting it know that I'm sitting right here anytime you want to rear your ugly head. Always a flag stuck in the ground. U know the one with the Eagle? Our nations bird. The chosen ones to be standing here today. Represents in your own country. Trumpets blare. What do you say Trump do you want your heart back?