The Black Haired Angel

Through Glass/Stone Sour

I realized I didn't write what happened to me this last month inside that place. The first person was a nurse practitioner with a back ground in psychology. Before that she worked with women. I spent a half hour with her. We talked about the med's and the horrible side effects the last few months. What has been happening to my body the last four years including that x-ray. Knowing I'm fucked and it's only going to get worse. This family tree line got to me just in time to carry that backpack. Right after I got to the gateway I was running for 45 minutes at a time all through that town. The Lion's. This is where I ran into the same company as the man who raped me. CRST the logo is usually on the front. I told him I won't look at the logo. I might know all these logo's and what they mean but I didn't know his. I told that man at the red rock 2 nights before when he asked why are you here? My answer was simple, my daughter.

Hero/Skillet
No better way to keep me on that lot and the surrounding marking my territory, than to plant my daughter on it. I said I'd stand naked in the rain for you. I'm thinking the naked part is baring my soul to save you from sin. I'm not as angry anymore. The day after I got back I went back down. For four days now. Better today getting rid of the sinus migraine that is also what I call the old fashioned. The spike above my left eye going out C3. Then Cesar's ring around my head. This one went all the way down my back into sacrum. I have been walking but I can feel the weakness still in my left leg.

How You Remind Me/Nickelback
It's light enough that I could dance and stretch normally. Not with this migraine eating away through my Sumatriptan. It just keep kicking back. Back on the heat, then Ice, then heat. All to no avail. I'd wake up still starting all over. Good thing is I'm sleeping I'm so drugged up.

With Arms Wide Open/Creed
So much of his songs I have been through. Look, isn't he mentally ill? Jeez! I wonder what some of your agreements were before you came here for this rock, for eternal love and light. Serenity, peace, and joy. Not that you didn't have it in the first place. I think this has something to do with the little girl that showed up then for the next five days some kind of dark being. It ended with a man sitting head bowed bracing against his knees. All these replicas of my little dogs. A man I believe Chinese descent. Walked around the corner of my bathroom and put a gun to my head. Let's not forget the woman that walked in my bedroom and shut the door and grabbed Michael's robe placed just around the shoulders all of a sudden it's got a loose hood. Twice she did this and both times I actually fell asleep.

Lost In You/3 Days Grace
Then the man sliding around the bathroom door gun out arm extended laughing crazily. This was not good. I felt if that bullet went off it wouldn't show as a bullet wound but an aneurysm. Something natural in the body to hide the Truth behind the death. After I said please don't he laughed real hard and as soon as he left so did the dark energy. Looking back I should of known another darkness to walk through. Trusting this family tree line to get me out. Seeing the consistencies through this system wiping out freedom. I'd have to say Jobe is back to set that new precedence on Freedom.

Words As Weapons/Seether
The nurse practitioner also said she thinks muscular skeletal in my arms and left side is different from what's happening with my legs. She wanted to order an x-ray. To me pointless, but I didn't argue at least she listened about what I saw in the x-ray is getting worse. Then she asked me don't you want to get a job? This part is the system again. I just got done saying how my body doesn't always work. Three different kinds of migraines. My period for a year. Hell I had had symptoms of Complex Migraines for a year. Couldn't form words. My speech was slurred. Not knowing whats happening? Then the sharp chest pain about five months. I really was just wishing that I'd either just have the damn stroke or heart attack. Just get it fucking over. I couldn't write. I couldn't do the key board. I couldn't even stand for a week at a time. I was to weak to grasp anything. My eyes a total eclipse.

Had Enough/BB
Blacked out once and fainted twice. Then the prosecuting attorney and hospital took my interview of what had been happening to me as this is how I am in the ER, not eating, belligerent. Well don't poke the bear when they're under and use it apply it to how I was after still. Blanket applications you allowed. All the way from the prosecuting attorney whom apparently said I was depressed and anti social. Locked away in my room. Not eating. A RN came to me on my 6th day, in the morning. It was a Saturday and he said I'm not a doctor, I'm an RN I don't see in you with the diagnosis in your file. Your to calm. U know who else said that? The nurse practitioner that checked me in. He had me sign release papers to talk to Michael about me coming home. The prosecuting attorney subpoenaed Michael. Really not even given a choice. They decided not to use him. He asked if he could sit in. He had no idea what was going on. He just didn't want me to die. He said he didn't know where any of this was coming from. He said all those labels. Your not that. Your very level. Your not manic or bi-polar your even. It was such a set up of no rights just in the way you do business. Unethical.

Someday/Nickelback
It was holiday weekend and on Monday Pam checked my file and the document wasn't in there. Nicole my case manager hadn't heard from the staff who watch me and interact with me daily. So on Tuesday Joseph knew what happened with my 3rd doctor on Sunday. He had me corner the RN or Nicole before they had there staff meeting and not know the truth of what happened. I asked her about going home. She said leave me Michael's number and I'll talk to him then you can go home.

Kryptonite/3 Doors Down
Funny, I've been thinking about the location when I heard for the first time Kryptonite. Left hand on the ground right hand in air bawling my eyes out. I recon it depends what side of love and fear when you try to take me down. I was in front of Mary Jane's Glass House. I didn't want to be Kryptonite. The rock. Then I discover the living stone and Justice living in all this injustice. Nope! They made sure I went through the profiling. Never allowed to defend even though I walk away, not allowed to speak at the assaults coming down on me. Even if I am the one I have the right to defend. For the ones that carry love defend but don't be defensive. Don't let them get your goat. All you have to do is stand. Stand for family. Let the ego go. Stand for your pride, your flock. Your family past that you carry inside and the ones way way ahead of you. Faith baby!

My Sacrifice/Creed
Alex do you remember I said you are just a baby lion, still just a cub? Your not a lion yet. Now it's time for your mother to roar. You were born a quaking rock. You and Kiley are Indigo children. Your not ADHD your living off balance. Your a hot pocket of energy. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you two except what you ask. I like myself just fine. I'm not Schizophrenic. I just lost the voice. The light at time's like Osmosis my family speaks through me. My body, the energy drain just trying to carry you because of who your father really is. I'm back for my family. Here's to long life. Here's to my Evergreen. Alex's protector is Ganesha. Those elephant's throughout my life.

Going Under/Evanesence
My first doctor got me to go on an antidepressant and Seraquil to sleep. He said if I'm still not sleeping they will put me on Risperdal at night. I saw him 2 days later and I slept. No talk of Risperdal. The goal was to get me to sleep. I was so he didn't bring it up. On Friday and from this point on my doctor was gone. I saw the other doctor. He was fine with what I was taking and doing so far. No mood suppressor's mentioned other than the game plan to get me to sleep.

Savin'Me/N
On Sunday, because they were supposed to have me meet with the case worker and psychiatrist everyday. They treat symptoms and the first two doctors listened. On Sunday Joseph tole me to talk to the third doctor so I can make it known the game plan. He released two men whom I knew were paranoid and would be manic until their morning med's kicked in and I noticed about five it would wear off and I'd start the good recording in there heads again. The good game plan, not the paranoia. I'd remind you excepted this. Your wife comes first. She's all you have, then your family from the other country. He thought someone he knew from 19 years ago was making it look like he's crazy. He said any judge will see I don't need to be in here. I'd smirk and ask so how you gonna get around standing out in the road nude. You gave your clothes away, he said to homeless. He'd get a sad face and say I don't know.

Ephinany.
I spent five minutes in a hallway getting interrupted. Him looking everywhere else barely paying attention. He asked what happened here and I said nothing. That night after I went to bed to read. Took my med's ready to zonk out in 10. Here comes the RN telling me that this 3rd doctor ordered Depakote. A mood stabilizer. I said I don't go manic or up I don't need the stabilizer. She took it back. I told Nicole what he did just from five minutes. She was surprised. This was Tuesday when she said I can go home. She went to meeting with staff and this doctor said I was aggressive with him. A total lie to keep me there. Staff was telling me on their own " know way you'll do 14 days".

It's Not Over/Daughtry
This place just making sure these people knew how to shower and do the Active Daily living chart. Basic hygiene. Changing bedding. Etc. Then music and arts and crafts. Pre-school. Volatile people when they blew their stack feeling like they are in jail and controlled. Man that staff, I label as Saints. The hits they take every day? Staying calm while being verbally and physical assault daily, long hours of it. After the meeting Nicole avoided me. In group which was a question sheee
t on meditation etc. Coping skills sometimes. I said I want a different doctor. I had no reason to be aggressive. I'm not an aggressive person. No reason to be aggressive. She said that the staff asked him to give me a chance. That I'm not what he's seeing or saying. My first meeting he's telling me that I'm manic. That a symptom of Bi-polar is not sleep. Your not sleeping because your manic. I kept saying what? I don't go up. I'm aware of me not having sleep.

Unwell/Matchbox 20
He kept saying your not going to get well until you take this drug. Now I have to assert myself. Look I understand your all about the diagnosis, and science, but I don't go up. It takes allot to get me mad. Day after day of this bullshit, having to keep stopping and starting on my body to keep in shape and moving. All this starting over and it's getting harder. Then the prosecuting attorney's office I get handed [papers of lies and his name was on one. He comes in my room and told me I should of spoken to the prosecuting attorney. She even said don't you want to go voluntary. U mean stand in front of a judge that ruled my symptoms are psycho somatic. Really? Where will this judge be dancing? In heaven or hell?

The Reason /Hoobstank
Do you know why //////bi-poar was in my file in the first place? The psychiatrist whom threatened me and had fear of my journey 2015. For an emotion of frustration. I twirled in a circle and walked out the door nicely. To much of a reaction over watered down cream of wheat. I was doing the cross in front of her face as I spoke. I never saw here again. Since when does a Shaman, a druid, a celt, a seer, the Messiah, scribe and prophet not follow the light? Oh yeah! Our Monopoly game of insurance to make a living off of humanities organs all to feed a machine. You serve the credit, the elite and entitled not the people. My garden you poisoned. You poisoned her essence her seed. I saw in the bible I will create distention. Some one is always telling me just how they feel.

Addicted/Saving Able
Don't worry this day cums and I'll be Abel heart, body mind and soul letting all my characters I carry inside me get their self worth. My family tree line has waited a long time for this. Can I hear a thank God that all those men wearing the wrong white collars re-creating the leper colony and making them take the blame for this system. What all you educated pretty much white people did? U sold us out to that God Damned Hoover of a vacuum. Insurance pharma western labels and law. Thank God for Assurance hard to remember some days. It sunk in the last few days Whats really in a name. I followed the names here there and well history in all walks of life. It really hit me the schizophrenics house the Safeway card and hairbrush was what she had in her house they just happen to show up in my backyard after this agreement.

Be Like That/3 Doors Down
This is right when I heard her voice talking to someone who came in that I grabbed my chest and cried, schizophrenic of the heart. My mother is a schizophrenic from the heart. A blue room, a sink on the wall and a cupboard that is just a frame. I also saw it on a trail behind Warrior Number 2 the same thing. I recon it means that their is more than one kind of jail that is keeping us down suppression compression depression a bank these shell corporations. In the beginning I remember writing shell the gas station and shell. Then will she do it. She'll do it. I'm like doing what? Do you know what I have on my right wrist? God is within her. She will not fail. Psalm 46:5.

If Today Was Your Last Day/Nickelback
Shouldn't of assumed God is male this time. He's the Joker, The fool after all. Now You See Me. God has many names. God is energy. I knew it was about food and energy from the start. Looking at that man with heavy shoulders, carrying that little monkey on his back. Head bowed down. Coffee on the right smoke on the left. If no smoke his hand is in his pocket. I hardly saw this man. Just a few conversations and they wouldn't let me walk away or forget. Hell these two mothers, the twins, Cecilia and Priscilla are Celts after all. King Solomon's Ring of Fire. Just like the last supper. No object it's the family. The white bull, the protector of those 7 stars that stands over Freedoms head.

So Far Away/Staind
They represent the Miriam twins who guided Mary after Jesus died the first time. I said you walked through the ring of fire no worse for wear. I had been speaking of a rodeo ride the year before. Even in Castle Rock Tammy's words. Colleen you've been on this rodeo ride before. This was after I told my mom on the phone. Hee! Haw! we're going on a rodeo ride. Of course it caught me. Back in the saddle, reluctantly slow some moments of some days. The horse on Daniel's lot when they circled around me? I looked to the horse on the left. A scar going down the middle of her chest. I said this horse has a broken heart. This was the house I saw the ter drop shape driveway. I looked at her strawberry fields forever. Theirs going to be a celebration. I was picking up the sea and land and the number 7 her son. I sat by a tree and I felt so much energy coming off it. Kind of freaked me. The reason I walk up and talk to tree's at the end of some of my dreams.

What's This Life For/Creed
This life is for love and evolution. Freedom from the chains that bind. Freedom from all the boxes and jail cells. creating all these cancer cells in the sun. My Ozone layer. Cause and effect on mother natures son. No matter what even if theirs just 2 their is always 3. Always the Trinity. God is your life force. Neither /male or female. He/she's the Atom. How deceptive of my brother. Father, Husband and the son. It's time for some sunshine.

Save Me/Shinedown.
I was told if I didn't take what the doctor ordered I'd never get out of here. Number four psychologist told me to throw it out as soon as I get out. That I'm very highly spoken of in these meetings. I got just one doctor doing a power play. My court date extended because I've been filed against by the prosecutor. I as well as these people put in there time. People who fists hit things, bullied and threatened were walking out the door b4 14. Maybe that 4 is coming back around. This started with key number four, then I heard horses my first not on zero ground. Then I discover the names of these Horsemen and just how they had names? Slowly on this journey they had me seeing one thing like petulance then pestilence and what it means. The locust and Sanskrit I heard in the beginning. Yeah four home runs today.

Better Than Me/Hinder
So this doctor owned my Destiny and time in this place. I told him that first meeting their are other diagnosis for people that don't sleep? Depression or anxiety. I know for a fact it was the depression. Whose the cause of the depression? Why you are Greg. Mr. 666. The Beast. You were born in the jungle. You were born marked even without a mark. In your name and numbers. Well that birth date? Yeah they don't like Christopher Columbus and the Beast. When I asked about Christopher they gave two fingers pointing up. Fuck you very much. I point my fingers up. This doctor felt he was doing me a favor by letting me out at the last minute the day b4 court. 

Truth/Seether
To the bitch that said Malachi was an asshole and ISIS a bitch. Right the messenger and ISIS back for this rock. Like she'd kill her vessel. Dumb mother fuckers. To the bully of the man upstairs. The Latter Day Saint whom all of a sudden has a good excuse for his bad behavior. He talks down to his wife and treats her like the servant. They go round and round on respect. He kicked or hit his 3lb dog. He was screaming and screaming. Still screaming cowered under a chair. I asked what happened to him. Because I saw the body language. Hell you could hear it loud and clear. Especially when the first thing he did was walk out and start yelling at it. He got aggressive with a front. Don't you be worrying about my dog and so on. It's none of your business? You just made it my business. I know what it is I'm looking at. You hit him. He's still yelling. I left a message with animal control. It's been getting left out all night on the deck. No bed or blanket. Food or water. Starting end of fall to beginning of spring. Well I don't like bullies. No I'm Sirius shape up or ship out. My little beasties belong to me, still not sure about this bad behavior I'm looking at and living.

Fallen Angel/3Doors Down
I did say Morning Glory and Morning Star. I guess I wasn't the only one born marked. Without a mark on me except my melatonin spot. Well it seems I not only mariied the Beast, Mr. 666 himself. That's a broken picker for sure. What a drag, what a energy suppresor. Buried beneath all your lies and deception. My how deceiving of you. So I married Cane am I Able? Don't forget about Seth. I knew right away a combination of the two. It was after Daddy Issues, I wrote you set me up? My whole God Damned life has been a set up. Yeah! He thinks he's a funny guy. It seems I picked up Greg's 666 in marriage and name. Yet Ah! Ah! This is also about the Freemasons. Michael's great grandfather. Didn't IC 666 inside Freedom and Lady Liberty? Please! I was raised by a mother who ain't happy until you scream. Zion Mother Fucking Mary. That woman likes to kick you when your down. She want's you to suffer. She'll smile, stir the pot. Serve you up what ales you as she takes you down and points the finger. That woman has no compassion.

Lips Of An Angel/Hinder

Sound Of MadnessShinedown.
I did say 2 days. 2 nights we go dark when I called the Siren in 2015.

Angel/Theory Of A Deadman