I want love. Never ending Love
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Living On A Prayer/BJ
Kiss Somebody/ME
Well I've been thinking about the clues in the name and the situations in this system? Going back over some numbers? When they came up? What I saw as I walked along playing charades with my family. The trinity on this ground and in the heaven's. Just how it works? Well I also followed the colors and the hearts. Number five heart pioneer square and a wedding was going to be going on. They went back over my wedding. Almost being drowned in the toilet bowl and washed out to sea. It was my fourth close call. I will swim in a sea of sharks for you? Let's hope that doesn't come to light. When a guy named Michael said just those words to me. I took pause to The Promised Land I wrote in the beginning. How those words are coming back around? All to bite me in the ass. Just like history class. I couldn't sit still for that boring class asking myself "when will I ever need to know this?" It's been so long and to have these past presidents names come back around?
The Best Of MY Love/Eagles
First it was spiritual. Vision quest sort of thing. Knowing things are going to be odd. Yes, God has a sense of humor. Ironic, yes. At times an asshole for his humor and the signs. The time he stood in my kitchen. I was doing dishes and he's leaning against the counter to my right. Arms casually crossed. I was pissed at Him, he put my heart on the line. My own father made me live with a broken heart over and over in every which way. This Rose never picked. The invisible injustice and the illusion? He does a small laugh and holds out his right hand, left arm still crossed at the elbow and he say's "come on do you really think I'm gonna let your heart go?" Who the fuck knows after all that I have learned. I know Faith.
It Is Well With My Soul/Chris Rice
Then or just before as I'm again doing dishes by hand. I saw a huge right palm pass behind me going to the right. I was wondering what was up with a hand the size of my living room? Me wondering what's up with that? Then my bracelet Psalm. "She will not fail." I've been thinking about the time my sister told me and Greg at dinner one night with Brad, she told me my mother dropped him off with a box in front of his dad's house and drove away. I felt like a two ton ball hit me and it bounced. I did not move. I knew it was the Truth. My mothers biggest fear is Truth and that we will speak it. It was always an analytical conversation where we both laugh thinking or saying what we're looking at and the behavior. This woman has a river of denial a mile wide.
Mercy Is A Song/Matthew West
Sweet Justice is mine, one of our conversations was what would this woman do if she had to come to terms with the Truth of what she has done to her own children? Not just us she made everyone pay. She wanted us and others to suffer just for sport. She has left so many bodies in her wake and has gotten away with it and no consequence's ever. She thinks that because she's the mother that she had rights to stir the pot in our lives. She thinks she has the rights to lie, blame and take a swing at her adult children. This woman never speaks for me or my sister or our children and I as a mother had that right to make that decision to walk away.
What I've Done/LP
My mom noticed I might be pregnant at about 20 years old. She said to my sister "I'm going to take that baby and raise it myself if she is". My sister and I both laughed at that. Like she thinks we're gonna forget all she's done to us? Abandoning us, destroying us even legally. Planting her seed's of justice upon man. Revenge for speaking or setting a boundary. She always thought oh so funny and she'd step right over any boundaries and laugh. The day she handed my sister the baton dropping her off at Marvin's and we all knew the Truth of who he was. I always referred to it as a gauntlet not a baton, She literally said to my sister, "it's your turn to go through what I've been through". Spitefully so. Nope! No mother made her children pay and kick you when your down than Zion Mary. Pull out the rug, leave you out in the cold. To teach you a lesson. Raised to never re-act to the bad behavior. Not even an expression. No words to defend at the humiliation and accusations.
Listen To Your Heart/Roxette
Yeah I followed the sign's that kept going round and round sequentially so. The first time I played that game, I loved it. The only board game I liked. I'm the smallest person and like Goldilocks and the 3 bears my chair collapsed and I was the smallest one. I woke up with my second whopping migraine ever. Puking in a bowl all the way to work. The names of the people then and the location is key. They have done this journey sequentially so and around around I go. Shut down rebuild. Shut down rebuild. My body hurts and it's tiring. I know I'm almost to the end. This is the end of a new beginning. The Phinal Phase. Yup! I fish with an F. I point my finger up.
Counting Every Blessing/RC
What's it going to be man or the machine? Weather you like it or not your 01 is back. Turns out you've had heaven on earth all along and you didn't even know it. "Now the question is this, those closest to me turning a blind eye to my pain, that did nothing but judge and blame"? I'll leave it up to God. I mean we do have the rapture. Crash! Boom! Bang! Planes, trains and automobiles. First I heard Raptor. Then vela-rapture. Then I learned about the Rapture from Michael. He made a joke in the jungle when he saw a pile of clothes. He went "oh no, the rapture has cum". I asked what's that. I recon the first stage of the storm.
Tequila Sunrise/Eagles
The living stone. The diamond in the rough. The Rapture is me. The Sentinel is me. The whore of Babylon is me, laughing madly with the cup in my hand. Grapes of wrath for this curse. Pan from Japan and the Quaran curse of the Gin. My mother in laws T and T. Her birth date 9/11. Pearl earing. Pearl Harbor. Now I want my pearl necklace. Still have to earn that I recon.
Stairway to Heaven/LZ
I was taking photos of red stairs that first summer disappearing into those blue skies. My Indians and this journey. Yes, my families got a reservation to take this reservation back. They are going to right all wrongs on this rock throughout history. The Constitution keeps coming up. John Adams wants you to know what you have done upstairs to God's flock is unconstitutional. The Highlanders is the grapes of wrath. My Renton Indians, I got this. Lancelot, Liberty and Lindbergh. The land of the Kings. That have fucked up royally. You signed everything over to the wrong Kings. they have all the right's over your heart body mind and soul. The power to keep it to themselves with the passing of these blanket laws. They have taken me to so many flowers. First the Oleander, then the Lily, then the Rose, then the Iris. Iris the Google Dolls played allot during this stage. Michael said when your passionate about something you get a ring of fire around your Iris. Throughout my life people are always telling me something they see in my shit brown eyes, including the color.
Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
The names going round and round. The bad behavior. Being left out in the cold. The snow and rain. All the element's. Three minerals came to mind this morning? Iron, Copper and Titanium. Then Steel. I followed the names of my coats. The first Zero King that Gary gave me. To discover the Truth of whom I really am? Who I carry inside me? Yeah, what a funny guy he is. The mountain I represent is the mountain with the broken heart. My flower at that time in my life, 'The Bleeding Hearts." It dawned on me yesterday, yeah I've been a bleeding heart my whole God Damned life. Bring me the stray. Bring me the weak one, I'll build him up. I mean hell I had a crush on Don Knotts as a child. Doesn't get more bleeding heart than that guy.
Spend A Life/DD
That God damned prayer I said "give me all my families burdens. I'm stronger. I can do it. I can break this circle of abuse. Pam looked at me and said well that's the wrong prayer to of said. You think? Damned prayers from the heart. The agreements made. Then to watch it play out over and over again with my girls. Don't defend, your being rude. No emotions weren't allowed, not with Greg or Zion Mary. The church where the second toilet showed up? The John. My father all the way through adulthood always left the bathroom door open. Sitting on the John.
Superman/5 For Fighting (Book Of Enoch, Friday the 13th, 2016. I cried on a street corner in the dark).
The gold mound I had a few spiritual moments on facing the mountain to the East? The man with the bruno beard? That after every dance and song I turned to it and said this man is mine. This man is mine. I admit not knowing where or whom is this coming from? The black snake that watched me for two days while doing one of my sit ins letting it know that I'm sitting right here anytime you want to rear your ugly head. Always a flag stuck in the ground. U know the one with the Eagle? Our nations bird. The chosen ones to be standing here today. Represents in your own country. Trumpets blare. What do you say Trump do you want your heart back?
Well I've been thinking about the clues in the name and the situations in this system? Going back over some numbers? When they came up? What I saw as I walked along playing charades with my family. The trinity on this ground and in the heaven's. Just how it works? Well I also followed the colors and the hearts. Number five heart pioneer square and a wedding was going to be going on. They went back over my wedding. Almost being drowned in the toilet bowl and washed out to sea. It was my fourth close call. I will swim in a sea of sharks for you? Let's hope that doesn't come to light. When a guy named Michael said just those words to me. I took pause to The Promised Land I wrote in the beginning. How those words are coming back around? All to bite me in the ass. Just like history class. I couldn't sit still for that boring class asking myself "when will I ever need to know this?" It's been so long and to have these past presidents names come back around?
The Best Of MY Love/Eagles
First it was spiritual. Vision quest sort of thing. Knowing things are going to be odd. Yes, God has a sense of humor. Ironic, yes. At times an asshole for his humor and the signs. The time he stood in my kitchen. I was doing dishes and he's leaning against the counter to my right. Arms casually crossed. I was pissed at Him, he put my heart on the line. My own father made me live with a broken heart over and over in every which way. This Rose never picked. The invisible injustice and the illusion? He does a small laugh and holds out his right hand, left arm still crossed at the elbow and he say's "come on do you really think I'm gonna let your heart go?" Who the fuck knows after all that I have learned. I know Faith.
It Is Well With My Soul/Chris Rice
Then or just before as I'm again doing dishes by hand. I saw a huge right palm pass behind me going to the right. I was wondering what was up with a hand the size of my living room? Me wondering what's up with that? Then my bracelet Psalm. "She will not fail." I've been thinking about the time my sister told me and Greg at dinner one night with Brad, she told me my mother dropped him off with a box in front of his dad's house and drove away. I felt like a two ton ball hit me and it bounced. I did not move. I knew it was the Truth. My mothers biggest fear is Truth and that we will speak it. It was always an analytical conversation where we both laugh thinking or saying what we're looking at and the behavior. This woman has a river of denial a mile wide.
Mercy Is A Song/Matthew West
Sweet Justice is mine, one of our conversations was what would this woman do if she had to come to terms with the Truth of what she has done to her own children? Not just us she made everyone pay. She wanted us and others to suffer just for sport. She has left so many bodies in her wake and has gotten away with it and no consequence's ever. She thinks that because she's the mother that she had rights to stir the pot in our lives. She thinks she has the rights to lie, blame and take a swing at her adult children. This woman never speaks for me or my sister or our children and I as a mother had that right to make that decision to walk away.
What I've Done/LP
My mom noticed I might be pregnant at about 20 years old. She said to my sister "I'm going to take that baby and raise it myself if she is". My sister and I both laughed at that. Like she thinks we're gonna forget all she's done to us? Abandoning us, destroying us even legally. Planting her seed's of justice upon man. Revenge for speaking or setting a boundary. She always thought oh so funny and she'd step right over any boundaries and laugh. The day she handed my sister the baton dropping her off at Marvin's and we all knew the Truth of who he was. I always referred to it as a gauntlet not a baton, She literally said to my sister, "it's your turn to go through what I've been through". Spitefully so. Nope! No mother made her children pay and kick you when your down than Zion Mary. Pull out the rug, leave you out in the cold. To teach you a lesson. Raised to never re-act to the bad behavior. Not even an expression. No words to defend at the humiliation and accusations.
Listen To Your Heart/Roxette
Yeah I followed the sign's that kept going round and round sequentially so. The first time I played that game, I loved it. The only board game I liked. I'm the smallest person and like Goldilocks and the 3 bears my chair collapsed and I was the smallest one. I woke up with my second whopping migraine ever. Puking in a bowl all the way to work. The names of the people then and the location is key. They have done this journey sequentially so and around around I go. Shut down rebuild. Shut down rebuild. My body hurts and it's tiring. I know I'm almost to the end. This is the end of a new beginning. The Phinal Phase. Yup! I fish with an F. I point my finger up.
Counting Every Blessing/RC
What's it going to be man or the machine? Weather you like it or not your 01 is back. Turns out you've had heaven on earth all along and you didn't even know it. "Now the question is this, those closest to me turning a blind eye to my pain, that did nothing but judge and blame"? I'll leave it up to God. I mean we do have the rapture. Crash! Boom! Bang! Planes, trains and automobiles. First I heard Raptor. Then vela-rapture. Then I learned about the Rapture from Michael. He made a joke in the jungle when he saw a pile of clothes. He went "oh no, the rapture has cum". I asked what's that. I recon the first stage of the storm.
Tequila Sunrise/Eagles
The living stone. The diamond in the rough. The Rapture is me. The Sentinel is me. The whore of Babylon is me, laughing madly with the cup in my hand. Grapes of wrath for this curse. Pan from Japan and the Quaran curse of the Gin. My mother in laws T and T. Her birth date 9/11. Pearl earing. Pearl Harbor. Now I want my pearl necklace. Still have to earn that I recon.
Stairway to Heaven/LZ
I was taking photos of red stairs that first summer disappearing into those blue skies. My Indians and this journey. Yes, my families got a reservation to take this reservation back. They are going to right all wrongs on this rock throughout history. The Constitution keeps coming up. John Adams wants you to know what you have done upstairs to God's flock is unconstitutional. The Highlanders is the grapes of wrath. My Renton Indians, I got this. Lancelot, Liberty and Lindbergh. The land of the Kings. That have fucked up royally. You signed everything over to the wrong Kings. they have all the right's over your heart body mind and soul. The power to keep it to themselves with the passing of these blanket laws. They have taken me to so many flowers. First the Oleander, then the Lily, then the Rose, then the Iris. Iris the Google Dolls played allot during this stage. Michael said when your passionate about something you get a ring of fire around your Iris. Throughout my life people are always telling me something they see in my shit brown eyes, including the color.
Wind Beneath My Wings/BM
The names going round and round. The bad behavior. Being left out in the cold. The snow and rain. All the element's. Three minerals came to mind this morning? Iron, Copper and Titanium. Then Steel. I followed the names of my coats. The first Zero King that Gary gave me. To discover the Truth of whom I really am? Who I carry inside me? Yeah, what a funny guy he is. The mountain I represent is the mountain with the broken heart. My flower at that time in my life, 'The Bleeding Hearts." It dawned on me yesterday, yeah I've been a bleeding heart my whole God Damned life. Bring me the stray. Bring me the weak one, I'll build him up. I mean hell I had a crush on Don Knotts as a child. Doesn't get more bleeding heart than that guy.
Spend A Life/DD
That God damned prayer I said "give me all my families burdens. I'm stronger. I can do it. I can break this circle of abuse. Pam looked at me and said well that's the wrong prayer to of said. You think? Damned prayers from the heart. The agreements made. Then to watch it play out over and over again with my girls. Don't defend, your being rude. No emotions weren't allowed, not with Greg or Zion Mary. The church where the second toilet showed up? The John. My father all the way through adulthood always left the bathroom door open. Sitting on the John.
Superman/5 For Fighting (Book Of Enoch, Friday the 13th, 2016. I cried on a street corner in the dark).
The gold mound I had a few spiritual moments on facing the mountain to the East? The man with the bruno beard? That after every dance and song I turned to it and said this man is mine. This man is mine. I admit not knowing where or whom is this coming from? The black snake that watched me for two days while doing one of my sit ins letting it know that I'm sitting right here anytime you want to rear your ugly head. Always a flag stuck in the ground. U know the one with the Eagle? Our nations bird. The chosen ones to be standing here today. Represents in your own country. Trumpets blare. What do you say Trump do you want your heart back?
Monday, July 22, 2019
The Black Haired Angel
Through Glass/Stone Sour
I realized I didn't write what happened to me this last month inside that place. The first person was a nurse practitioner with a back ground in psychology. Before that she worked with women. I spent a half hour with her. We talked about the med's and the horrible side effects the last few months. What has been happening to my body the last four years including that x-ray. Knowing I'm fucked and it's only going to get worse. This family tree line got to me just in time to carry that backpack. Right after I got to the gateway I was running for 45 minutes at a time all through that town. The Lion's. This is where I ran into the same company as the man who raped me. CRST the logo is usually on the front. I told him I won't look at the logo. I might know all these logo's and what they mean but I didn't know his. I told that man at the red rock 2 nights before when he asked why are you here? My answer was simple, my daughter.
Hero/Skillet
No better way to keep me on that lot and the surrounding marking my territory, than to plant my daughter on it. I said I'd stand naked in the rain for you. I'm thinking the naked part is baring my soul to save you from sin. I'm not as angry anymore. The day after I got back I went back down. For four days now. Better today getting rid of the sinus migraine that is also what I call the old fashioned. The spike above my left eye going out C3. Then Cesar's ring around my head. This one went all the way down my back into sacrum. I have been walking but I can feel the weakness still in my left leg.
How You Remind Me/Nickelback
It's light enough that I could dance and stretch normally. Not with this migraine eating away through my Sumatriptan. It just keep kicking back. Back on the heat, then Ice, then heat. All to no avail. I'd wake up still starting all over. Good thing is I'm sleeping I'm so drugged up.
With Arms Wide Open/Creed
So much of his songs I have been through. Look, isn't he mentally ill? Jeez! I wonder what some of your agreements were before you came here for this rock, for eternal love and light. Serenity, peace, and joy. Not that you didn't have it in the first place. I think this has something to do with the little girl that showed up then for the next five days some kind of dark being. It ended with a man sitting head bowed bracing against his knees. All these replicas of my little dogs. A man I believe Chinese descent. Walked around the corner of my bathroom and put a gun to my head. Let's not forget the woman that walked in my bedroom and shut the door and grabbed Michael's robe placed just around the shoulders all of a sudden it's got a loose hood. Twice she did this and both times I actually fell asleep.
Lost In You/3 Days Grace
Then the man sliding around the bathroom door gun out arm extended laughing crazily. This was not good. I felt if that bullet went off it wouldn't show as a bullet wound but an aneurysm. Something natural in the body to hide the Truth behind the death. After I said please don't he laughed real hard and as soon as he left so did the dark energy. Looking back I should of known another darkness to walk through. Trusting this family tree line to get me out. Seeing the consistencies through this system wiping out freedom. I'd have to say Jobe is back to set that new precedence on Freedom.
Words As Weapons/Seether
The nurse practitioner also said she thinks muscular skeletal in my arms and left side is different from what's happening with my legs. She wanted to order an x-ray. To me pointless, but I didn't argue at least she listened about what I saw in the x-ray is getting worse. Then she asked me don't you want to get a job? This part is the system again. I just got done saying how my body doesn't always work. Three different kinds of migraines. My period for a year. Hell I had had symptoms of Complex Migraines for a year. Couldn't form words. My speech was slurred. Not knowing whats happening? Then the sharp chest pain about five months. I really was just wishing that I'd either just have the damn stroke or heart attack. Just get it fucking over. I couldn't write. I couldn't do the key board. I couldn't even stand for a week at a time. I was to weak to grasp anything. My eyes a total eclipse.
Had Enough/BB
Blacked out once and fainted twice. Then the prosecuting attorney and hospital took my interview of what had been happening to me as this is how I am in the ER, not eating, belligerent. Well don't poke the bear when they're under and use it apply it to how I was after still. Blanket applications you allowed. All the way from the prosecuting attorney whom apparently said I was depressed and anti social. Locked away in my room. Not eating. A RN came to me on my 6th day, in the morning. It was a Saturday and he said I'm not a doctor, I'm an RN I don't see in you with the diagnosis in your file. Your to calm. U know who else said that? The nurse practitioner that checked me in. He had me sign release papers to talk to Michael about me coming home. The prosecuting attorney subpoenaed Michael. Really not even given a choice. They decided not to use him. He asked if he could sit in. He had no idea what was going on. He just didn't want me to die. He said he didn't know where any of this was coming from. He said all those labels. Your not that. Your very level. Your not manic or bi-polar your even. It was such a set up of no rights just in the way you do business. Unethical.
Someday/Nickelback
It was holiday weekend and on Monday Pam checked my file and the document wasn't in there. Nicole my case manager hadn't heard from the staff who watch me and interact with me daily. So on Tuesday Joseph knew what happened with my 3rd doctor on Sunday. He had me corner the RN or Nicole before they had there staff meeting and not know the truth of what happened. I asked her about going home. She said leave me Michael's number and I'll talk to him then you can go home.
Kryptonite/3 Doors Down
Funny, I've been thinking about the location when I heard for the first time Kryptonite. Left hand on the ground right hand in air bawling my eyes out. I recon it depends what side of love and fear when you try to take me down. I was in front of Mary Jane's Glass House. I didn't want to be Kryptonite. The rock. Then I discover the living stone and Justice living in all this injustice. Nope! They made sure I went through the profiling. Never allowed to defend even though I walk away, not allowed to speak at the assaults coming down on me. Even if I am the one I have the right to defend. For the ones that carry love defend but don't be defensive. Don't let them get your goat. All you have to do is stand. Stand for family. Let the ego go. Stand for your pride, your flock. Your family past that you carry inside and the ones way way ahead of you. Faith baby!
My Sacrifice/Creed
Alex do you remember I said you are just a baby lion, still just a cub? Your not a lion yet. Now it's time for your mother to roar. You were born a quaking rock. You and Kiley are Indigo children. Your not ADHD your living off balance. Your a hot pocket of energy. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you two except what you ask. I like myself just fine. I'm not Schizophrenic. I just lost the voice. The light at time's like Osmosis my family speaks through me. My body, the energy drain just trying to carry you because of who your father really is. I'm back for my family. Here's to long life. Here's to my Evergreen. Alex's protector is Ganesha. Those elephant's throughout my life.
Going Under/Evanesence
My first doctor got me to go on an antidepressant and Seraquil to sleep. He said if I'm still not sleeping they will put me on Risperdal at night. I saw him 2 days later and I slept. No talk of Risperdal. The goal was to get me to sleep. I was so he didn't bring it up. On Friday and from this point on my doctor was gone. I saw the other doctor. He was fine with what I was taking and doing so far. No mood suppressor's mentioned other than the game plan to get me to sleep.
Savin'Me/N
On Sunday, because they were supposed to have me meet with the case worker and psychiatrist everyday. They treat symptoms and the first two doctors listened. On Sunday Joseph tole me to talk to the third doctor so I can make it known the game plan. He released two men whom I knew were paranoid and would be manic until their morning med's kicked in and I noticed about five it would wear off and I'd start the good recording in there heads again. The good game plan, not the paranoia. I'd remind you excepted this. Your wife comes first. She's all you have, then your family from the other country. He thought someone he knew from 19 years ago was making it look like he's crazy. He said any judge will see I don't need to be in here. I'd smirk and ask so how you gonna get around standing out in the road nude. You gave your clothes away, he said to homeless. He'd get a sad face and say I don't know.
Ephinany.
I spent five minutes in a hallway getting interrupted. Him looking everywhere else barely paying attention. He asked what happened here and I said nothing. That night after I went to bed to read. Took my med's ready to zonk out in 10. Here comes the RN telling me that this 3rd doctor ordered Depakote. A mood stabilizer. I said I don't go manic or up I don't need the stabilizer. She took it back. I told Nicole what he did just from five minutes. She was surprised. This was Tuesday when she said I can go home. She went to meeting with staff and this doctor said I was aggressive with him. A total lie to keep me there. Staff was telling me on their own " know way you'll do 14 days".
It's Not Over/Daughtry
This place just making sure these people knew how to shower and do the Active Daily living chart. Basic hygiene. Changing bedding. Etc. Then music and arts and crafts. Pre-school. Volatile people when they blew their stack feeling like they are in jail and controlled. Man that staff, I label as Saints. The hits they take every day? Staying calm while being verbally and physical assault daily, long hours of it. After the meeting Nicole avoided me. In group which was a question sheee
t on meditation etc. Coping skills sometimes. I said I want a different doctor. I had no reason to be aggressive. I'm not an aggressive person. No reason to be aggressive. She said that the staff asked him to give me a chance. That I'm not what he's seeing or saying. My first meeting he's telling me that I'm manic. That a symptom of Bi-polar is not sleep. Your not sleeping because your manic. I kept saying what? I don't go up. I'm aware of me not having sleep.
Unwell/Matchbox 20
He kept saying your not going to get well until you take this drug. Now I have to assert myself. Look I understand your all about the diagnosis, and science, but I don't go up. It takes allot to get me mad. Day after day of this bullshit, having to keep stopping and starting on my body to keep in shape and moving. All this starting over and it's getting harder. Then the prosecuting attorney's office I get handed [papers of lies and his name was on one. He comes in my room and told me I should of spoken to the prosecuting attorney. She even said don't you want to go voluntary. U mean stand in front of a judge that ruled my symptoms are psycho somatic. Really? Where will this judge be dancing? In heaven or hell?
The Reason /Hoobstank
Do you know why //////bi-poar was in my file in the first place? The psychiatrist whom threatened me and had fear of my journey 2015. For an emotion of frustration. I twirled in a circle and walked out the door nicely. To much of a reaction over watered down cream of wheat. I was doing the cross in front of her face as I spoke. I never saw here again. Since when does a Shaman, a druid, a celt, a seer, the Messiah, scribe and prophet not follow the light? Oh yeah! Our Monopoly game of insurance to make a living off of humanities organs all to feed a machine. You serve the credit, the elite and entitled not the people. My garden you poisoned. You poisoned her essence her seed. I saw in the bible I will create distention. Some one is always telling me just how they feel.
Addicted/Saving Able
Don't worry this day cums and I'll be Abel heart, body mind and soul letting all my characters I carry inside me get their self worth. My family tree line has waited a long time for this. Can I hear a thank God that all those men wearing the wrong white collars re-creating the leper colony and making them take the blame for this system. What all you educated pretty much white people did? U sold us out to that God Damned Hoover of a vacuum. Insurance pharma western labels and law. Thank God for Assurance hard to remember some days. It sunk in the last few days Whats really in a name. I followed the names here there and well history in all walks of life. It really hit me the schizophrenics house the Safeway card and hairbrush was what she had in her house they just happen to show up in my backyard after this agreement.
Be Like That/3 Doors Down
This is right when I heard her voice talking to someone who came in that I grabbed my chest and cried, schizophrenic of the heart. My mother is a schizophrenic from the heart. A blue room, a sink on the wall and a cupboard that is just a frame. I also saw it on a trail behind Warrior Number 2 the same thing. I recon it means that their is more than one kind of jail that is keeping us down suppression compression depression a bank these shell corporations. In the beginning I remember writing shell the gas station and shell. Then will she do it. She'll do it. I'm like doing what? Do you know what I have on my right wrist? God is within her. She will not fail. Psalm 46:5.
If Today Was Your Last Day/Nickelback
Shouldn't of assumed God is male this time. He's the Joker, The fool after all. Now You See Me. God has many names. God is energy. I knew it was about food and energy from the start. Looking at that man with heavy shoulders, carrying that little monkey on his back. Head bowed down. Coffee on the right smoke on the left. If no smoke his hand is in his pocket. I hardly saw this man. Just a few conversations and they wouldn't let me walk away or forget. Hell these two mothers, the twins, Cecilia and Priscilla are Celts after all. King Solomon's Ring of Fire. Just like the last supper. No object it's the family. The white bull, the protector of those 7 stars that stands over Freedoms head.
So Far Away/Staind
They represent the Miriam twins who guided Mary after Jesus died the first time. I said you walked through the ring of fire no worse for wear. I had been speaking of a rodeo ride the year before. Even in Castle Rock Tammy's words. Colleen you've been on this rodeo ride before. This was after I told my mom on the phone. Hee! Haw! we're going on a rodeo ride. Of course it caught me. Back in the saddle, reluctantly slow some moments of some days. The horse on Daniel's lot when they circled around me? I looked to the horse on the left. A scar going down the middle of her chest. I said this horse has a broken heart. This was the house I saw the ter drop shape driveway. I looked at her strawberry fields forever. Theirs going to be a celebration. I was picking up the sea and land and the number 7 her son. I sat by a tree and I felt so much energy coming off it. Kind of freaked me. The reason I walk up and talk to tree's at the end of some of my dreams.
What's This Life For/Creed
This life is for love and evolution. Freedom from the chains that bind. Freedom from all the boxes and jail cells. creating all these cancer cells in the sun. My Ozone layer. Cause and effect on mother natures son. No matter what even if theirs just 2 their is always 3. Always the Trinity. God is your life force. Neither /male or female. He/she's the Atom. How deceptive of my brother. Father, Husband and the son. It's time for some sunshine.
Save Me/Shinedown.
I was told if I didn't take what the doctor ordered I'd never get out of here. Number four psychologist told me to throw it out as soon as I get out. That I'm very highly spoken of in these meetings. I got just one doctor doing a power play. My court date extended because I've been filed against by the prosecutor. I as well as these people put in there time. People who fists hit things, bullied and threatened were walking out the door b4 14. Maybe that 4 is coming back around. This started with key number four, then I heard horses my first not on zero ground. Then I discover the names of these Horsemen and just how they had names? Slowly on this journey they had me seeing one thing like petulance then pestilence and what it means. The locust and Sanskrit I heard in the beginning. Yeah four home runs today.
Better Than Me/Hinder
So this doctor owned my Destiny and time in this place. I told him that first meeting their are other diagnosis for people that don't sleep? Depression or anxiety. I know for a fact it was the depression. Whose the cause of the depression? Why you are Greg. Mr. 666. The Beast. You were born in the jungle. You were born marked even without a mark. In your name and numbers. Well that birth date? Yeah they don't like Christopher Columbus and the Beast. When I asked about Christopher they gave two fingers pointing up. Fuck you very much. I point my fingers up. This doctor felt he was doing me a favor by letting me out at the last minute the day b4 court.
Truth/Seether
To the bitch that said Malachi was an asshole and ISIS a bitch. Right the messenger and ISIS back for this rock. Like she'd kill her vessel. Dumb mother fuckers. To the bully of the man upstairs. The Latter Day Saint whom all of a sudden has a good excuse for his bad behavior. He talks down to his wife and treats her like the servant. They go round and round on respect. He kicked or hit his 3lb dog. He was screaming and screaming. Still screaming cowered under a chair. I asked what happened to him. Because I saw the body language. Hell you could hear it loud and clear. Especially when the first thing he did was walk out and start yelling at it. He got aggressive with a front. Don't you be worrying about my dog and so on. It's none of your business? You just made it my business. I know what it is I'm looking at. You hit him. He's still yelling. I left a message with animal control. It's been getting left out all night on the deck. No bed or blanket. Food or water. Starting end of fall to beginning of spring. Well I don't like bullies. No I'm Sirius shape up or ship out. My little beasties belong to me, still not sure about this bad behavior I'm looking at and living.
Fallen Angel/3Doors Down
I did say Morning Glory and Morning Star. I guess I wasn't the only one born marked. Without a mark on me except my melatonin spot. Well it seems I not only mariied the Beast, Mr. 666 himself. That's a broken picker for sure. What a drag, what a energy suppresor. Buried beneath all your lies and deception. My how deceiving of you. So I married Cane am I Able? Don't forget about Seth. I knew right away a combination of the two. It was after Daddy Issues, I wrote you set me up? My whole God Damned life has been a set up. Yeah! He thinks he's a funny guy. It seems I picked up Greg's 666 in marriage and name. Yet Ah! Ah! This is also about the Freemasons. Michael's great grandfather. Didn't IC 666 inside Freedom and Lady Liberty? Please! I was raised by a mother who ain't happy until you scream. Zion Mother Fucking Mary. That woman likes to kick you when your down. She want's you to suffer. She'll smile, stir the pot. Serve you up what ales you as she takes you down and points the finger. That woman has no compassion.
Lips Of An Angel/Hinder
Sound Of MadnessShinedown.
I did say 2 days. 2 nights we go dark when I called the Siren in 2015.
Angel/Theory Of A Deadman
I realized I didn't write what happened to me this last month inside that place. The first person was a nurse practitioner with a back ground in psychology. Before that she worked with women. I spent a half hour with her. We talked about the med's and the horrible side effects the last few months. What has been happening to my body the last four years including that x-ray. Knowing I'm fucked and it's only going to get worse. This family tree line got to me just in time to carry that backpack. Right after I got to the gateway I was running for 45 minutes at a time all through that town. The Lion's. This is where I ran into the same company as the man who raped me. CRST the logo is usually on the front. I told him I won't look at the logo. I might know all these logo's and what they mean but I didn't know his. I told that man at the red rock 2 nights before when he asked why are you here? My answer was simple, my daughter.
Hero/Skillet
No better way to keep me on that lot and the surrounding marking my territory, than to plant my daughter on it. I said I'd stand naked in the rain for you. I'm thinking the naked part is baring my soul to save you from sin. I'm not as angry anymore. The day after I got back I went back down. For four days now. Better today getting rid of the sinus migraine that is also what I call the old fashioned. The spike above my left eye going out C3. Then Cesar's ring around my head. This one went all the way down my back into sacrum. I have been walking but I can feel the weakness still in my left leg.
How You Remind Me/Nickelback
It's light enough that I could dance and stretch normally. Not with this migraine eating away through my Sumatriptan. It just keep kicking back. Back on the heat, then Ice, then heat. All to no avail. I'd wake up still starting all over. Good thing is I'm sleeping I'm so drugged up.
With Arms Wide Open/Creed
So much of his songs I have been through. Look, isn't he mentally ill? Jeez! I wonder what some of your agreements were before you came here for this rock, for eternal love and light. Serenity, peace, and joy. Not that you didn't have it in the first place. I think this has something to do with the little girl that showed up then for the next five days some kind of dark being. It ended with a man sitting head bowed bracing against his knees. All these replicas of my little dogs. A man I believe Chinese descent. Walked around the corner of my bathroom and put a gun to my head. Let's not forget the woman that walked in my bedroom and shut the door and grabbed Michael's robe placed just around the shoulders all of a sudden it's got a loose hood. Twice she did this and both times I actually fell asleep.
Lost In You/3 Days Grace
Then the man sliding around the bathroom door gun out arm extended laughing crazily. This was not good. I felt if that bullet went off it wouldn't show as a bullet wound but an aneurysm. Something natural in the body to hide the Truth behind the death. After I said please don't he laughed real hard and as soon as he left so did the dark energy. Looking back I should of known another darkness to walk through. Trusting this family tree line to get me out. Seeing the consistencies through this system wiping out freedom. I'd have to say Jobe is back to set that new precedence on Freedom.
Words As Weapons/Seether
The nurse practitioner also said she thinks muscular skeletal in my arms and left side is different from what's happening with my legs. She wanted to order an x-ray. To me pointless, but I didn't argue at least she listened about what I saw in the x-ray is getting worse. Then she asked me don't you want to get a job? This part is the system again. I just got done saying how my body doesn't always work. Three different kinds of migraines. My period for a year. Hell I had had symptoms of Complex Migraines for a year. Couldn't form words. My speech was slurred. Not knowing whats happening? Then the sharp chest pain about five months. I really was just wishing that I'd either just have the damn stroke or heart attack. Just get it fucking over. I couldn't write. I couldn't do the key board. I couldn't even stand for a week at a time. I was to weak to grasp anything. My eyes a total eclipse.
Had Enough/BB
Blacked out once and fainted twice. Then the prosecuting attorney and hospital took my interview of what had been happening to me as this is how I am in the ER, not eating, belligerent. Well don't poke the bear when they're under and use it apply it to how I was after still. Blanket applications you allowed. All the way from the prosecuting attorney whom apparently said I was depressed and anti social. Locked away in my room. Not eating. A RN came to me on my 6th day, in the morning. It was a Saturday and he said I'm not a doctor, I'm an RN I don't see in you with the diagnosis in your file. Your to calm. U know who else said that? The nurse practitioner that checked me in. He had me sign release papers to talk to Michael about me coming home. The prosecuting attorney subpoenaed Michael. Really not even given a choice. They decided not to use him. He asked if he could sit in. He had no idea what was going on. He just didn't want me to die. He said he didn't know where any of this was coming from. He said all those labels. Your not that. Your very level. Your not manic or bi-polar your even. It was such a set up of no rights just in the way you do business. Unethical.
Someday/Nickelback
It was holiday weekend and on Monday Pam checked my file and the document wasn't in there. Nicole my case manager hadn't heard from the staff who watch me and interact with me daily. So on Tuesday Joseph knew what happened with my 3rd doctor on Sunday. He had me corner the RN or Nicole before they had there staff meeting and not know the truth of what happened. I asked her about going home. She said leave me Michael's number and I'll talk to him then you can go home.
Kryptonite/3 Doors Down
Funny, I've been thinking about the location when I heard for the first time Kryptonite. Left hand on the ground right hand in air bawling my eyes out. I recon it depends what side of love and fear when you try to take me down. I was in front of Mary Jane's Glass House. I didn't want to be Kryptonite. The rock. Then I discover the living stone and Justice living in all this injustice. Nope! They made sure I went through the profiling. Never allowed to defend even though I walk away, not allowed to speak at the assaults coming down on me. Even if I am the one I have the right to defend. For the ones that carry love defend but don't be defensive. Don't let them get your goat. All you have to do is stand. Stand for family. Let the ego go. Stand for your pride, your flock. Your family past that you carry inside and the ones way way ahead of you. Faith baby!
My Sacrifice/Creed
Alex do you remember I said you are just a baby lion, still just a cub? Your not a lion yet. Now it's time for your mother to roar. You were born a quaking rock. You and Kiley are Indigo children. Your not ADHD your living off balance. Your a hot pocket of energy. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you two except what you ask. I like myself just fine. I'm not Schizophrenic. I just lost the voice. The light at time's like Osmosis my family speaks through me. My body, the energy drain just trying to carry you because of who your father really is. I'm back for my family. Here's to long life. Here's to my Evergreen. Alex's protector is Ganesha. Those elephant's throughout my life.
Going Under/Evanesence
My first doctor got me to go on an antidepressant and Seraquil to sleep. He said if I'm still not sleeping they will put me on Risperdal at night. I saw him 2 days later and I slept. No talk of Risperdal. The goal was to get me to sleep. I was so he didn't bring it up. On Friday and from this point on my doctor was gone. I saw the other doctor. He was fine with what I was taking and doing so far. No mood suppressor's mentioned other than the game plan to get me to sleep.
Savin'Me/N
On Sunday, because they were supposed to have me meet with the case worker and psychiatrist everyday. They treat symptoms and the first two doctors listened. On Sunday Joseph tole me to talk to the third doctor so I can make it known the game plan. He released two men whom I knew were paranoid and would be manic until their morning med's kicked in and I noticed about five it would wear off and I'd start the good recording in there heads again. The good game plan, not the paranoia. I'd remind you excepted this. Your wife comes first. She's all you have, then your family from the other country. He thought someone he knew from 19 years ago was making it look like he's crazy. He said any judge will see I don't need to be in here. I'd smirk and ask so how you gonna get around standing out in the road nude. You gave your clothes away, he said to homeless. He'd get a sad face and say I don't know.
Ephinany.
I spent five minutes in a hallway getting interrupted. Him looking everywhere else barely paying attention. He asked what happened here and I said nothing. That night after I went to bed to read. Took my med's ready to zonk out in 10. Here comes the RN telling me that this 3rd doctor ordered Depakote. A mood stabilizer. I said I don't go manic or up I don't need the stabilizer. She took it back. I told Nicole what he did just from five minutes. She was surprised. This was Tuesday when she said I can go home. She went to meeting with staff and this doctor said I was aggressive with him. A total lie to keep me there. Staff was telling me on their own " know way you'll do 14 days".
It's Not Over/Daughtry
This place just making sure these people knew how to shower and do the Active Daily living chart. Basic hygiene. Changing bedding. Etc. Then music and arts and crafts. Pre-school. Volatile people when they blew their stack feeling like they are in jail and controlled. Man that staff, I label as Saints. The hits they take every day? Staying calm while being verbally and physical assault daily, long hours of it. After the meeting Nicole avoided me. In group which was a question sheee
t on meditation etc. Coping skills sometimes. I said I want a different doctor. I had no reason to be aggressive. I'm not an aggressive person. No reason to be aggressive. She said that the staff asked him to give me a chance. That I'm not what he's seeing or saying. My first meeting he's telling me that I'm manic. That a symptom of Bi-polar is not sleep. Your not sleeping because your manic. I kept saying what? I don't go up. I'm aware of me not having sleep.
Unwell/Matchbox 20
He kept saying your not going to get well until you take this drug. Now I have to assert myself. Look I understand your all about the diagnosis, and science, but I don't go up. It takes allot to get me mad. Day after day of this bullshit, having to keep stopping and starting on my body to keep in shape and moving. All this starting over and it's getting harder. Then the prosecuting attorney's office I get handed [papers of lies and his name was on one. He comes in my room and told me I should of spoken to the prosecuting attorney. She even said don't you want to go voluntary. U mean stand in front of a judge that ruled my symptoms are psycho somatic. Really? Where will this judge be dancing? In heaven or hell?
The Reason /Hoobstank
Do you know why //////bi-poar was in my file in the first place? The psychiatrist whom threatened me and had fear of my journey 2015. For an emotion of frustration. I twirled in a circle and walked out the door nicely. To much of a reaction over watered down cream of wheat. I was doing the cross in front of her face as I spoke. I never saw here again. Since when does a Shaman, a druid, a celt, a seer, the Messiah, scribe and prophet not follow the light? Oh yeah! Our Monopoly game of insurance to make a living off of humanities organs all to feed a machine. You serve the credit, the elite and entitled not the people. My garden you poisoned. You poisoned her essence her seed. I saw in the bible I will create distention. Some one is always telling me just how they feel.
Addicted/Saving Able
Don't worry this day cums and I'll be Abel heart, body mind and soul letting all my characters I carry inside me get their self worth. My family tree line has waited a long time for this. Can I hear a thank God that all those men wearing the wrong white collars re-creating the leper colony and making them take the blame for this system. What all you educated pretty much white people did? U sold us out to that God Damned Hoover of a vacuum. Insurance pharma western labels and law. Thank God for Assurance hard to remember some days. It sunk in the last few days Whats really in a name. I followed the names here there and well history in all walks of life. It really hit me the schizophrenics house the Safeway card and hairbrush was what she had in her house they just happen to show up in my backyard after this agreement.
Be Like That/3 Doors Down
This is right when I heard her voice talking to someone who came in that I grabbed my chest and cried, schizophrenic of the heart. My mother is a schizophrenic from the heart. A blue room, a sink on the wall and a cupboard that is just a frame. I also saw it on a trail behind Warrior Number 2 the same thing. I recon it means that their is more than one kind of jail that is keeping us down suppression compression depression a bank these shell corporations. In the beginning I remember writing shell the gas station and shell. Then will she do it. She'll do it. I'm like doing what? Do you know what I have on my right wrist? God is within her. She will not fail. Psalm 46:5.
If Today Was Your Last Day/Nickelback
Shouldn't of assumed God is male this time. He's the Joker, The fool after all. Now You See Me. God has many names. God is energy. I knew it was about food and energy from the start. Looking at that man with heavy shoulders, carrying that little monkey on his back. Head bowed down. Coffee on the right smoke on the left. If no smoke his hand is in his pocket. I hardly saw this man. Just a few conversations and they wouldn't let me walk away or forget. Hell these two mothers, the twins, Cecilia and Priscilla are Celts after all. King Solomon's Ring of Fire. Just like the last supper. No object it's the family. The white bull, the protector of those 7 stars that stands over Freedoms head.
So Far Away/Staind
They represent the Miriam twins who guided Mary after Jesus died the first time. I said you walked through the ring of fire no worse for wear. I had been speaking of a rodeo ride the year before. Even in Castle Rock Tammy's words. Colleen you've been on this rodeo ride before. This was after I told my mom on the phone. Hee! Haw! we're going on a rodeo ride. Of course it caught me. Back in the saddle, reluctantly slow some moments of some days. The horse on Daniel's lot when they circled around me? I looked to the horse on the left. A scar going down the middle of her chest. I said this horse has a broken heart. This was the house I saw the ter drop shape driveway. I looked at her strawberry fields forever. Theirs going to be a celebration. I was picking up the sea and land and the number 7 her son. I sat by a tree and I felt so much energy coming off it. Kind of freaked me. The reason I walk up and talk to tree's at the end of some of my dreams.
What's This Life For/Creed
This life is for love and evolution. Freedom from the chains that bind. Freedom from all the boxes and jail cells. creating all these cancer cells in the sun. My Ozone layer. Cause and effect on mother natures son. No matter what even if theirs just 2 their is always 3. Always the Trinity. God is your life force. Neither /male or female. He/she's the Atom. How deceptive of my brother. Father, Husband and the son. It's time for some sunshine.
Save Me/Shinedown.
I was told if I didn't take what the doctor ordered I'd never get out of here. Number four psychologist told me to throw it out as soon as I get out. That I'm very highly spoken of in these meetings. I got just one doctor doing a power play. My court date extended because I've been filed against by the prosecutor. I as well as these people put in there time. People who fists hit things, bullied and threatened were walking out the door b4 14. Maybe that 4 is coming back around. This started with key number four, then I heard horses my first not on zero ground. Then I discover the names of these Horsemen and just how they had names? Slowly on this journey they had me seeing one thing like petulance then pestilence and what it means. The locust and Sanskrit I heard in the beginning. Yeah four home runs today.
Better Than Me/Hinder
So this doctor owned my Destiny and time in this place. I told him that first meeting their are other diagnosis for people that don't sleep? Depression or anxiety. I know for a fact it was the depression. Whose the cause of the depression? Why you are Greg. Mr. 666. The Beast. You were born in the jungle. You were born marked even without a mark. In your name and numbers. Well that birth date? Yeah they don't like Christopher Columbus and the Beast. When I asked about Christopher they gave two fingers pointing up. Fuck you very much. I point my fingers up. This doctor felt he was doing me a favor by letting me out at the last minute the day b4 court.
Truth/Seether
To the bitch that said Malachi was an asshole and ISIS a bitch. Right the messenger and ISIS back for this rock. Like she'd kill her vessel. Dumb mother fuckers. To the bully of the man upstairs. The Latter Day Saint whom all of a sudden has a good excuse for his bad behavior. He talks down to his wife and treats her like the servant. They go round and round on respect. He kicked or hit his 3lb dog. He was screaming and screaming. Still screaming cowered under a chair. I asked what happened to him. Because I saw the body language. Hell you could hear it loud and clear. Especially when the first thing he did was walk out and start yelling at it. He got aggressive with a front. Don't you be worrying about my dog and so on. It's none of your business? You just made it my business. I know what it is I'm looking at. You hit him. He's still yelling. I left a message with animal control. It's been getting left out all night on the deck. No bed or blanket. Food or water. Starting end of fall to beginning of spring. Well I don't like bullies. No I'm Sirius shape up or ship out. My little beasties belong to me, still not sure about this bad behavior I'm looking at and living.
Fallen Angel/3Doors Down
I did say Morning Glory and Morning Star. I guess I wasn't the only one born marked. Without a mark on me except my melatonin spot. Well it seems I not only mariied the Beast, Mr. 666 himself. That's a broken picker for sure. What a drag, what a energy suppresor. Buried beneath all your lies and deception. My how deceiving of you. So I married Cane am I Able? Don't forget about Seth. I knew right away a combination of the two. It was after Daddy Issues, I wrote you set me up? My whole God Damned life has been a set up. Yeah! He thinks he's a funny guy. It seems I picked up Greg's 666 in marriage and name. Yet Ah! Ah! This is also about the Freemasons. Michael's great grandfather. Didn't IC 666 inside Freedom and Lady Liberty? Please! I was raised by a mother who ain't happy until you scream. Zion Mother Fucking Mary. That woman likes to kick you when your down. She want's you to suffer. She'll smile, stir the pot. Serve you up what ales you as she takes you down and points the finger. That woman has no compassion.
Lips Of An Angel/Hinder
Sound Of MadnessShinedown.
I did say 2 days. 2 nights we go dark when I called the Siren in 2015.
Angel/Theory Of A Deadman
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Your Arms Feel Like Home/3 doors Down
Hate My Life/Theory Of A Deadman
This mothers Hot! Hot! Hot at what I've been through. What a few months this has been. You have no idea the discoveries I have made walking through this system and just how they are using humanities body parts for the machine? All to profit off of humanities organs. The 3rd word I heard the day I stood on the blue oil can. Organ/Oregon. I discovered how our own country legalized this to feed our world economy? They definitely fed the wrong stock. They did not feed God's flock. What they did was poison your septic system with the slow starvation of GMO over a 10 year period. Since when is it ever a good idea to poison your mothers seed? Montesano! U really are the representation of the 2 black snakes when I sat on the well. So U don't need this rock, this tree of life to feed you? No a small percentage of you think your going to live somewhere else. Leave these people to starve and be slaves to you in all walks of life just to survive feed and protect their families.
Numb/LP
Now I know why this started out about the apple and the salmon? Then the apple from the garden. The Wisdom Tree of good and evil. Don't know how to judge unless you've experienced it yourself. My prayer after I filed for legal custody of my father. "As long as I have a home so to shall my family." Age 6 he promised to build me a house for just me and him. The one broken promise from my father. I had hoped and wished. I waited on the inside. What Dreams May Come. Robin William's when he chimed in when I was down on my knee on red rock road. "He's going to have the last laugh" he said.The man from my dream's that I'd approach always in mother nature. All I could see was the back. Primary colored blue t-shirt, arm's crossed. Dark shoulder length hair. Talk about "BIG DADDY ISSUES"The date? End of September 2016. He stepped to my left, arm's crossed a smirk on his face and my fathers blue eye's. I walked away with my right hand in the air flinging it over my shoulder, I said "great you have a wife now? I'm just a flea on your shoulder that you can just flick off at a whim. Down here doing your bidding". I recon my fiery side.
I'll Be/EM
Needless to say I wasn't happy. Then being taken through the cosmos? I've been thoroughly scrooged on this vision quest. Yes I have figured out my black shadow when I sat in a circle of tree's while pregnant with Kai. Then again when I threw all my anger and rage at him. I collapsed on the ground got up on all fours and looked to my right I said "that's it your hiding me from the Truth". My father is the black shadow. They took me around to circles of tree's in the beginning. A circle one tree. A circle two tree's and so on. I yelled up "I get it it's about the tree's". The Celt's. I heard that word in the beginning and Kyle said "his wife and sister in law are Celt"s". Then it was about the tree's and our veteran's. I scribed for hour's sitting in the veteran's office that day. They fought for those tree's. They fought for Freedom. Risking life and limb. They risked their own mental health to fight for Freedom. You treat them like reject's. You shun them. Don't feed the bears right? Don't let that piece of shit man have a free drink of water without paying for the cup. You wouldn't have water if it wasn't for them. Your water is going in our landfills in bottles. Our government slowed it down and jacked up the prices. Our John's don't flush Jack shit down. Did it not dawn on you that the water doesn't belong to anyone on my rock?
It's The Only One U Got/3DD
The day a woman was in the library reading to her son? She complained that the man was snoring at the back of the library. I walked up to her and I said "you mean that veteran that fought for your freedom to even be sitting here today"? All you people have done is defend this system and all this PC. Political Correctness giving you a good excuse for you behaving like children. Re-writing the written language? What are we political droids? No after what I went through this last month being stuck in this system and seeing the power and the removal of these people's civil liberties. The right to own their own body. Yes HIPPA you own the body and spirituality and I saw it. Good old number 9. The power of the 3, 6, and 9. You blocked evolution and control, the energy. You stole from Nikolai Tesla. Sorry Ion Flux thought you were a movie not a man. He's taking his universal energy back. After that night working with these number's standing at the Gull and Pride sign across from the Genie. I got Angel's 101 and used it as my guide.You know non denominational. My Guides from the start. The Legion and I'm the server of Truth?
Waiting For Superman/Daughtry Wait For Me/TOD
This is on the intake form to a mental institution. You know those contract's telling you your right's then in the lingo of the contract as you move down it sign's off your rights? "Not to be denied treatment by spiritual means through prayer in accordance with tenets and practices of a church or religious denomination. Hilarious! I don't do religion and I'm the righteous one who did not disrespect someone else's God? Whatever made them a better person I did not car Then I learn of the judgment in every house? Still treating women as second class citizens of this house? Still here to serve man IC? My Cinderella curse and you ladies. They didn't have Faith and leave the judgment up to God. The one whom sent his son here in human form. Jesus Christ. Now it's Jesus mother fucking Christ in this family tree line. Mother nature wasn't lying on her back when all ye Holy spirit's were created. You disrespect your garden. Turn's out my cussing and swearing is my Truthful nitch.
45/Shinedown
Hilarious, I took a photo of a revolver that said "Jack's house" behind it. Then Jack's on American God's? When I watched that, I felt like I broke all the chains that bind after I made the agreement with my family tree line. No more boxes all to save my family and to get them out of the chambers. What's in a name? Volume's. U boxed them in and I'm letting them out. What's the first casualty in any war? Truth. I read I Am Pilgrim.
Everything Changes/Staind
This is the end all of all end all's. The Final Phase of this monopoly game. Now I Understand why they said their is no balance in our justified system in our land of freedom. Abraham Lincoln and that number 13? All I see is slavery to the machine. The Knights of The Templar? Friday the 13th, 1307.I have been thinking lately about Kai after she watched the Matrix at about 3 to 4? I got up to turn off the TV one morning when we were watching a children's show together. She steps next to me and did the move Keanu did in the Matrix. She did the move when he signaled his opponent foreword. I asked what's this? She opens her hand to 2 AA battery's and says "you know mommy they run on batteries".
You Shook Me All Night Long/ACDC
My dream in a fun park learning that you were using our energy to run this machine? You were using humanities energy. Keeping us busy with all these fun and games. Keeping us entertained in this Monopoly game. Go to jail. Pay a fine. Never let us off the chain or out of the box? I read in the bible we will wear chains for Him. The Son/Sunshine. Reality TV? Everybody wants to be a star. They aren't even reality. Hey how about these spinners going in my landfill's? Your Shell corporations, whom you can't track scratching the politicians back. You made Corporations. Then you incorporate. Then you franchise and affiliate. How about all these filament's going in my landfills? My family is going to affiliate their foot up your ass for this. I haven't gotten to the punishment phase of this monopoly game all to serve man and machine? The big dogs are 6 in a year. I'm the number 7 the garden was about 6000 years. Well I think 7000 because I'm the little dog and you can sit in the shit. In Dante's Inferno. His love's name? Beatrice. Beauty and the Beast, the plague and the rose. Were these writers and musician's just fairy tails? Did they have the guiding hand or are they schizophrenic. Steven King the clown in the sewer's. Are you Schizophrenic too? LMFLAO.
Lost In You/3 Days Grace
The bullshit they are allowing these hospitals signing away a humans right's? The diagnosis of Schizophrenia? What about the one's whom aren't that you guilted and made them feel shame? Good old George Washington. Hey didn't he have a portrait where he had the big eye in the sky over his right shoulder? Wasn't he seen giving direction to the democratic party during the Civil war in Philadelphia? His ghost I mean that is written in history books? I used to think my grandma Lily looked like George in the profile. What about Abe Lincoln and his wife Mary Todd they went to seances and she predicted how he'd age in his term. What about Aristotle? Didn't he look into a bowl of water to transcend? U think those gift's just disappeared off the face of the planet? No you made it a mental illness.
Beautiful/Creed
Then like 5 to 6 women line up in my room hospital room to interview me. I spoke the same line "Yes at the time I wanted to die." Then they took every person following the same line of questioning over and over. Yes my body is shutting down. Literally on my last leg. Knowing I have to stand to get rid of this entity. I've been stuck in a box. Not able to eat or sleep for months because of these meds. I can't walk I crawl. Since last summer stroke like symptoms that have progressed over the year into my head and face. Then my eye. Just got the answer after all this time. Complex Migraines. The seeing the cardiologist after sharp chest pains in all the heart attack spots. About 6 month's before I got my answer. Can't remember what it's called but it's basically arthritis in your rib cage. It was really painful and sharp for a few months.
Sorry/B
One woman's name is Pam that was standing there? I told her of my prayer the first day a counselor said it's not discipline but abuse. I went to the car and cried. Wandering if I knew the difference? I knew how it felt to be bullied controlled and humiliated. My prayer was to give me all my families burdens, my hands in the air, tears streaming down my cheeks. It's true God hears the prayers from the heart. He doesn't give you more than you can bear on this journey. He takes it one step at a time. I knew one thing my children had the right to their emotions. It's up to me to guide that.
Ghost Of Me/D
I haven't been able to trust my left leg to work to go even to the bus stop for the last year. Then I'm to weak to even walk. Both leg's give out. When we moved in in 2016, I couldn't get my arm's or fingers to work to braid my hair for a year and after physical therapy it flared my left shoulder neck and shoulder blade. The reason why Freedom has a blanket on her left shoulder? It still goes in and out. 2 neurologist later and the cardiologist pointed out this is all neurological and my lower left leg started doing it's own thing in 2017. Now I get 3 different kinds of migraine's. Got to love my family tree line.
Scar Tissue/Red Hot Chili Peppers
I was thinking about the song I wrote with a native celt rhythm. It was about my girls. It's called We Three Are The Perfect Storm. It's not on my blog. One dot one freckle, one hair on their chinny chin chin and my mother will blow this house down. I said to one of the nurses antagonizing me about my agreement. Being a Cherokee and suicide? No I'm not suicidal. Then she said ISIS caused me to do this she's evil and not good. You'd be a bitch too if you had all the power and people wanted to kill you or control you? I mean they chopped up Osiris. She's going to C first hand ISIS' power and why she's back for ISIS and those twin towers going all the way back to Sodom and Gomorrah? I learned my purpose and the abuse in power in this system? The unethical nature of your blanket laws? The grays, the anti depressors and the machine this God Damned Hoover Vacuum cleaner of insurance you provided. The ghost of J. Edgar Hoover I just discovered he's been with me for years. Accusations of Communist and illegal wire tapping.
This system is turning off your emotions and that's where the human spirits power lies, is in the emotions. Music has been with me since the beginning. Hell Is For Children and then I wouldn't let it play so it went to Love Is A Battlefield. It's a great way to purge your emotions and write out your truth in that moment. your emotions that cleanse and heal. Blocking your truth, your inner voice and intuition. Your guiding light inside you.
Overcome/Creed
Hebrews 11:1-3
"Now Faith Is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen. By faith, we understand that the universe has been framed by the word of God, So that what is seen has not been made out of things which are visible. Another name for Luna is Sin? Right Cyn and our purpose driven life we lead." Why all the pain and suffering? Why all these chains that bind? The woman at the hospital said Cherokees aren't supposed to commit suicide. I'm like isn't that the case with most religions? Then I'm argumentative. UC your not allowed to speak, disagree or defend yourself in our justified system. Can't show any emotion at the accusation. You've allowed this system to have to much power over the heart body mind and soul to turn them off and feed a system.What about the women being sacrificed all these centuries because of some God or your perception of sin? Today to many greedy people wearing the wrong white collars. To much ego and not enough ego.
Only God Knows Why/Kid Rock
Then they have all the power to put people in a mental institutions? Not just 3 but up to 14. Then an extension by the judge because of the prosecuting attorney's unethical behavior and lies. She works for the hospital to protect the hospital. She can say anything. What's the incentive? To label, to hold for longer and collect on the insurance and the pharmaceutical all to feed your banks and your shell companies. U industrialized.
The nurse in the ER was a condescending bitch. I didn't say anything. I was given a .5 percocet by the doctor. Every time I said something she blamed the percocet. Wouldn't get off it. My left leg wouldn't stop shaking. She's going well I would be having anxiety to. Now I'm Truth. If you hadn't been so focused on the machine, if you hadn't turned your own people in to the leper colony, using God's flock as your own garden? Shame! Shame! Shame! Profiting off the hand that feeds you? You poisoned my garden. You wiped out my animal kingdom. Our circle of life u disrespect. U elite and entitled, u land developers and banks went after my farmers. All U middle men we never needed all to take away what belonged to you in the first place. U put in your time and earned it. They take it and we sit in court to get it back and they will only dole back parts of you at a high price.
Yes I point my finger up to you sitting up there repeating history with all this slavery. The electric trucks delivering what of all things? The food. I have truckers who need to eat and feed their families. No your profition off all sides and it's U two with your hand in every kitty. Their won't be paying for indulgences anymore. That scarlet letter A? What Angel? That character defect that just will never go away? A misdemeanor at that. What about all your thievery and all you've taken to sell out your own people in my land of freedom. Jeb Bush was right, they're aint no heart up in that house. What about your character with all that education creating all these blanket laws signing away a human's civil liberties to own their own body all to feed the machine? To allow the depressors from the 20's or 40's to gray these people down. Stop them from seeing the light? What about these trolls sitting at these toll booth's? Jacking up their cost of living? Yes Catholic church so all these demon's and receivers to the light throughout history just go away? Why am I sitting with a woman I've been watching this antagonistic behavior to Tina? U know the one whose father wished her brother had lived and not her? Her brothers name? Enoch.I heard demon mother. I screamed in the parking lot at the church with the purple cup. Yah I got a sharp tongue. In my family tree line you have the right to defend. They're not martyrs their warriors and they belong to me.
Photograph/Nickelback
The Nicholation's? Still not sure who they are? I did however figure out Ben Franklin and those Indian Treaties I'm calling back into play that stands over Freedoms head. Those small pox blanket's around 300 years ago? Those 7 stars with the bull in the center with the white bull in the middle is a druid. I also heard Joseph and Palates 7. Ben Franklin the kite with the key? The lightening rod that I told Alex "That's mother nature's lightening rod and our nine lives are up". Man no matter how hard I tried they wouldn't stop with the 7's once I got into the orphanage for lost mothers, that I call queen's is being shown that number over and over. These ladies aren't as dirty as you think. They had roses and lilly's there. They did have some thing's in common regardless of religion? They have Faith. They have Hope. They have Destiny. They have humility and grace. They know why we're here. Remember theirs a reason why God loves a sinner? Try to remember you had a role to play until you find Truth.
Pain/3Days Grace
Now their is all kind's of pain. You don't want natural healers in this system. Is that why I read an article about my naturopathic doctor's being killed off? How about the Hindu family of 12 women that I met at the gateway? Then she's the one who showed up in a yellow dress before I spent five days in the "valley shadow of death". Then again when I said "yes to becoming a vessel". I said Namaste and bowed to the same woman in yellow. The one who told me Greg put a curse on me. I stepped on the egg with nothing under my foot. I lifted it and it was a rubber replica of my head with blacked out eye's. I said yeah I know that. She said if you know that why are you here? My answer, no one can tell me what to do about it. She also said their is a curse with these pain med's. The lion I saw when I took two. I used to say in my head I am woman here me roar, here me throw your ass out the door. End of my marriage.
Wanted Dead Or Alive/BJ
No I'm Sirius. In I think somewhere between 2016 and 17 God showed me my wish? I always wanted a dog farm where all my dogs could run free. He showed me I own the dog star. I grabbed the wall with both hands and cried. One of my nick name's the dog lady. Sean whom could travel said he tried to visit me in my dreams. He said their was no getting near me. Those dog's were nothing like he'd ever seen before. He wrote me a poem Black Haired Angel. I always had a little dog shadow me. Childhood Tambo, and in my marriage Wrigley and Trident. Babe and Teddy Bear. I kep hearing Ariel, house home and animals in the beginning. Even working with a woman in Fall City red hair and her name? Ariel. Then I'm asking whose her father? The one in the sea who hold's the Trident? Poseidon. I confused him with Prometheus for awhile. Who got his liver eaten out by an eagle for giving us fire. My dog's were complete opposites in nature. One black the other white. The Tao sign and me hearing I'm a little Tao. My brother, father and I are all about balance. I kept saying there's always light in the dark and seeing it in my head. Then the numbers 69.
Control/Puddle Of Mudd
Time to get down and dirty. God put the demon in the pig's. The human this time. Just like their is no Holy Grail on the table of The Last Supper. The Davinci Code Daughter? St. Clair? Mary Madeleine on the right and Jesus Christ on the left. She was one of the 12. It is a V sign in the center. They are joined at the hip. The two people with pig head's with tusk mating behind me after Greg finished with throwing me around the bed not even acknowledging me. Two hours of him giving me just what I need. I tried telling him what I needed, for him to thrust his hands between my shoulder blades to pop my vertebrae back in. Instead I'd get a superficial massage. It did nothing for me. I felt violated and not sure if I'd ever let another man touch me again.
Secrets/One Republic
Just like on Avatar you literally killed your tree of life. Instead this system got us to fight over the garden. All the pollution and poison you create. You even have profited off of them, instead of using them to feed the human race. I know their was a time that my cow's didn't kill the o-zone layer. My tobacco wasn't poison. All those sin taxes you won't let go and go after Black tobacco. Wow! Pick your poison pick your sin. Stop blaming my garden. Your spirit animals that you decent from. Your essence of your one true mother. Eve is of this soil, my shit brown eye's. You are descendant's of Eve not just Adam.
Breakdown/Daughtry
Oh Trump, I'm coming after your black heart. I'm done with you and your bigotry toward people of color and women. Now abortions? I've had two. The first Rose with Greg. I needed to analyze my childhood before I took that on. Greg still had college to finish. I knew one thing, my mother wasn't going to raise my child. The other Jimmie Jane number five. I met her the summer 2016 in those woods. I fell to my left knee and cried. I already had two to feed as a single mother. I wasn't going to let Jim, not that piece of shit man be in my child's life. Well I almost miscarried Alex at four month's. Kiley at two months and her Irish twin Elijah Todd I did miscarry. A profit that God just took home. I knew it was Kiley's Irish twin that's what upset me.
I always believed, I recon some would even say Faith that I was giving them back to God. That he'd understand why I made those choices. I guess that makes me the murdering whore of Babylon? What's your excuse in the round about way your keeping humanity suffering and in pain, making them take the blame for immorality and sin? I felt in the beginning depression, sexuality and love. You are not the most virtuous lot as sinners yourselves doing this to your people on every continent. The other 7 I saw about the third month into this agreement?
Zombie/Bad Wolves
They are literally not leaving it up to staff for these people to get out of these institutions. Up to 14 day's is bullshit Trump. My fourth psychiatrist who held me in there after a week telling me I'm manic and the rest of the staff tried to send me home early.All from a previous diagnosis of a female doctor threatening me to call my children because she had fear of my vision quest. I told him that again she went back on an agreement. IC how you cut off pain med's and allowed these doctor's to turn a blind eye to them doing their job. I'm going to hand you this pain I carry in my tree of life, and my heart. Penance or punishment? The petulant child I saw on that oil can and then I meet Pestilence. Could this be the Locust I saw in the beginning? You are not making these people pay for your wall either. All these walls are coming down because this planet and every continent will have Justice, and Freedom. Know what happened to Humpty Dumpty don't you? No your just another fat rat bastard wearing the wrong white collar profiting off these people's pain and suffering. Profiting off these blanket laws allowing it. No you will sit in my family tree line's court house. This will be a hostile take over for all your fat rat bastards hostile take overs sitting behind these blanket laws, to feed this machine. All these middle men we never needed if you'd just listened to your own historians about death and taxes.
Out Of My Head/Theory Of A Deadman
So now am the 01 here to save your ass? Am I that 01, a creation of your own making? Here to sit through all the injustice just like my little lambs sitting down here? You were told to protect this rock, instead you thought you were the judge on love/sin and morality right here in the land of freedom? It is inhumane what you have done. Oh yes this mother will speak and I want the Gregorian to fall out of the sky. Especially after seeing the prosecuting attorney show up in these institutions making them go back to court. All lies all to keep these people here labeled up and longer. Some barely know witch way is up. Yea I'm the living stone. The Oracle. What happened when the Celts tried to kidnap the Oracle? Yes, they all died. How about The Arc Of The Covenant? I'm your Holy mother. First I'm the Seraphin, here to give you a piece of my mind and a good tongue lashing for this bullshit. I'm the Aries, the ram God's lil' lamb. Just because you don't want it to be true it don't make it untrue.Like McCarthy said. I'll be back and from what I can C scanning these big books of Hope is that all of them are going to happen.
Open Up Your Eyes/Daughtry
I'm the lion hear me roar, hear me throw your ass out the door. Right now I'm all you got to dance for that entity in order to take it down and get rid of that gray cloud. All this deception, destroying this planets tree of life. This rock meant to feed all of God's flock. God is energy. I carry the tree of life from the flogging you did to my brother, my father, my husband and son. I'm the God daughter. Well, it turns out I can do no wrong. I'm always Aten. To Ancient Aliens I sit in ISIS' hands. Another nickname, knot head. Flock you think? So you think cussing is a good excuse to turn off at all the disservice at these counters writing there own rules? The abuse of the right to refuse service to anyone? Just because we're good enough and better than, does not Freedom make. Perhap's I'm Jobe here about a job? Here to set a new presidence on Freedom. Your mother of Truth.
Momma/Queen
The bride whom carries the big dick inside her? Her Father. Perhaps the Bride/Groom. God provided and you allowed man to turn to myth. To make you forget. Yes, this is my country pride and I take it all back.Heaven on Earth for this one. All those souls that came before. If their was a life there was a soul. They sit up in those heavens. Heaven is written in the stars. God is energy. He/She is the atom. She split it and made the Adam the son and the daughter Eve. How is that not science? Do you carry love in your heart? U got God and the son/sunshine. You've got the rainbow with 7 colors of your chakras. You've got love inside you you got the son and daughter. Your twin flames. Camelot does exist. In this family tree line theirs always a trinity. I got my Arch Angel Michael. Jack Parsons conjuring? The other number 9 and who was standing there? Michael and ISIS not letting that thing out. Watching and steering him in a different direction. They don't want the Lotus flower to open. That's why all the suffering and pain in our tree of lives. Blanket blame, blanket justice, blanket pain Making humanity the Organ Donors to you One World Order. All to feed the machine? Excalibur's sword with the black snake coiling down is just one of my clues on this journey. Our healthcare. The medical symbol.
Lullaby/Nickleback
This mothers Hot! Hot! Hot at what I've been through. What a few months this has been. You have no idea the discoveries I have made walking through this system and just how they are using humanities body parts for the machine? All to profit off of humanities organs. The 3rd word I heard the day I stood on the blue oil can. Organ/Oregon. I discovered how our own country legalized this to feed our world economy? They definitely fed the wrong stock. They did not feed God's flock. What they did was poison your septic system with the slow starvation of GMO over a 10 year period. Since when is it ever a good idea to poison your mothers seed? Montesano! U really are the representation of the 2 black snakes when I sat on the well. So U don't need this rock, this tree of life to feed you? No a small percentage of you think your going to live somewhere else. Leave these people to starve and be slaves to you in all walks of life just to survive feed and protect their families.
Numb/LP
Now I know why this started out about the apple and the salmon? Then the apple from the garden. The Wisdom Tree of good and evil. Don't know how to judge unless you've experienced it yourself. My prayer after I filed for legal custody of my father. "As long as I have a home so to shall my family." Age 6 he promised to build me a house for just me and him. The one broken promise from my father. I had hoped and wished. I waited on the inside. What Dreams May Come. Robin William's when he chimed in when I was down on my knee on red rock road. "He's going to have the last laugh" he said.The man from my dream's that I'd approach always in mother nature. All I could see was the back. Primary colored blue t-shirt, arm's crossed. Dark shoulder length hair. Talk about "BIG DADDY ISSUES"The date? End of September 2016. He stepped to my left, arm's crossed a smirk on his face and my fathers blue eye's. I walked away with my right hand in the air flinging it over my shoulder, I said "great you have a wife now? I'm just a flea on your shoulder that you can just flick off at a whim. Down here doing your bidding". I recon my fiery side.
I'll Be/EM
Needless to say I wasn't happy. Then being taken through the cosmos? I've been thoroughly scrooged on this vision quest. Yes I have figured out my black shadow when I sat in a circle of tree's while pregnant with Kai. Then again when I threw all my anger and rage at him. I collapsed on the ground got up on all fours and looked to my right I said "that's it your hiding me from the Truth". My father is the black shadow. They took me around to circles of tree's in the beginning. A circle one tree. A circle two tree's and so on. I yelled up "I get it it's about the tree's". The Celt's. I heard that word in the beginning and Kyle said "his wife and sister in law are Celt"s". Then it was about the tree's and our veteran's. I scribed for hour's sitting in the veteran's office that day. They fought for those tree's. They fought for Freedom. Risking life and limb. They risked their own mental health to fight for Freedom. You treat them like reject's. You shun them. Don't feed the bears right? Don't let that piece of shit man have a free drink of water without paying for the cup. You wouldn't have water if it wasn't for them. Your water is going in our landfills in bottles. Our government slowed it down and jacked up the prices. Our John's don't flush Jack shit down. Did it not dawn on you that the water doesn't belong to anyone on my rock?
It's The Only One U Got/3DD
The day a woman was in the library reading to her son? She complained that the man was snoring at the back of the library. I walked up to her and I said "you mean that veteran that fought for your freedom to even be sitting here today"? All you people have done is defend this system and all this PC. Political Correctness giving you a good excuse for you behaving like children. Re-writing the written language? What are we political droids? No after what I went through this last month being stuck in this system and seeing the power and the removal of these people's civil liberties. The right to own their own body. Yes HIPPA you own the body and spirituality and I saw it. Good old number 9. The power of the 3, 6, and 9. You blocked evolution and control, the energy. You stole from Nikolai Tesla. Sorry Ion Flux thought you were a movie not a man. He's taking his universal energy back. After that night working with these number's standing at the Gull and Pride sign across from the Genie. I got Angel's 101 and used it as my guide.You know non denominational. My Guides from the start. The Legion and I'm the server of Truth?
Waiting For Superman/Daughtry Wait For Me/TOD
This is on the intake form to a mental institution. You know those contract's telling you your right's then in the lingo of the contract as you move down it sign's off your rights? "Not to be denied treatment by spiritual means through prayer in accordance with tenets and practices of a church or religious denomination. Hilarious! I don't do religion and I'm the righteous one who did not disrespect someone else's God? Whatever made them a better person I did not car Then I learn of the judgment in every house? Still treating women as second class citizens of this house? Still here to serve man IC? My Cinderella curse and you ladies. They didn't have Faith and leave the judgment up to God. The one whom sent his son here in human form. Jesus Christ. Now it's Jesus mother fucking Christ in this family tree line. Mother nature wasn't lying on her back when all ye Holy spirit's were created. You disrespect your garden. Turn's out my cussing and swearing is my Truthful nitch.
45/Shinedown
Hilarious, I took a photo of a revolver that said "Jack's house" behind it. Then Jack's on American God's? When I watched that, I felt like I broke all the chains that bind after I made the agreement with my family tree line. No more boxes all to save my family and to get them out of the chambers. What's in a name? Volume's. U boxed them in and I'm letting them out. What's the first casualty in any war? Truth. I read I Am Pilgrim.
Everything Changes/Staind
This is the end all of all end all's. The Final Phase of this monopoly game. Now I Understand why they said their is no balance in our justified system in our land of freedom. Abraham Lincoln and that number 13? All I see is slavery to the machine. The Knights of The Templar? Friday the 13th, 1307.I have been thinking lately about Kai after she watched the Matrix at about 3 to 4? I got up to turn off the TV one morning when we were watching a children's show together. She steps next to me and did the move Keanu did in the Matrix. She did the move when he signaled his opponent foreword. I asked what's this? She opens her hand to 2 AA battery's and says "you know mommy they run on batteries".
You Shook Me All Night Long/ACDC
My dream in a fun park learning that you were using our energy to run this machine? You were using humanities energy. Keeping us busy with all these fun and games. Keeping us entertained in this Monopoly game. Go to jail. Pay a fine. Never let us off the chain or out of the box? I read in the bible we will wear chains for Him. The Son/Sunshine. Reality TV? Everybody wants to be a star. They aren't even reality. Hey how about these spinners going in my landfill's? Your Shell corporations, whom you can't track scratching the politicians back. You made Corporations. Then you incorporate. Then you franchise and affiliate. How about all these filament's going in my landfills? My family is going to affiliate their foot up your ass for this. I haven't gotten to the punishment phase of this monopoly game all to serve man and machine? The big dogs are 6 in a year. I'm the number 7 the garden was about 6000 years. Well I think 7000 because I'm the little dog and you can sit in the shit. In Dante's Inferno. His love's name? Beatrice. Beauty and the Beast, the plague and the rose. Were these writers and musician's just fairy tails? Did they have the guiding hand or are they schizophrenic. Steven King the clown in the sewer's. Are you Schizophrenic too? LMFLAO.
Lost In You/3 Days Grace
The bullshit they are allowing these hospitals signing away a humans right's? The diagnosis of Schizophrenia? What about the one's whom aren't that you guilted and made them feel shame? Good old George Washington. Hey didn't he have a portrait where he had the big eye in the sky over his right shoulder? Wasn't he seen giving direction to the democratic party during the Civil war in Philadelphia? His ghost I mean that is written in history books? I used to think my grandma Lily looked like George in the profile. What about Abe Lincoln and his wife Mary Todd they went to seances and she predicted how he'd age in his term. What about Aristotle? Didn't he look into a bowl of water to transcend? U think those gift's just disappeared off the face of the planet? No you made it a mental illness.
Beautiful/Creed
Then like 5 to 6 women line up in my room hospital room to interview me. I spoke the same line "Yes at the time I wanted to die." Then they took every person following the same line of questioning over and over. Yes my body is shutting down. Literally on my last leg. Knowing I have to stand to get rid of this entity. I've been stuck in a box. Not able to eat or sleep for months because of these meds. I can't walk I crawl. Since last summer stroke like symptoms that have progressed over the year into my head and face. Then my eye. Just got the answer after all this time. Complex Migraines. The seeing the cardiologist after sharp chest pains in all the heart attack spots. About 6 month's before I got my answer. Can't remember what it's called but it's basically arthritis in your rib cage. It was really painful and sharp for a few months.
Sorry/B
One woman's name is Pam that was standing there? I told her of my prayer the first day a counselor said it's not discipline but abuse. I went to the car and cried. Wandering if I knew the difference? I knew how it felt to be bullied controlled and humiliated. My prayer was to give me all my families burdens, my hands in the air, tears streaming down my cheeks. It's true God hears the prayers from the heart. He doesn't give you more than you can bear on this journey. He takes it one step at a time. I knew one thing my children had the right to their emotions. It's up to me to guide that.
Ghost Of Me/D
I haven't been able to trust my left leg to work to go even to the bus stop for the last year. Then I'm to weak to even walk. Both leg's give out. When we moved in in 2016, I couldn't get my arm's or fingers to work to braid my hair for a year and after physical therapy it flared my left shoulder neck and shoulder blade. The reason why Freedom has a blanket on her left shoulder? It still goes in and out. 2 neurologist later and the cardiologist pointed out this is all neurological and my lower left leg started doing it's own thing in 2017. Now I get 3 different kinds of migraine's. Got to love my family tree line.
Scar Tissue/Red Hot Chili Peppers
I was thinking about the song I wrote with a native celt rhythm. It was about my girls. It's called We Three Are The Perfect Storm. It's not on my blog. One dot one freckle, one hair on their chinny chin chin and my mother will blow this house down. I said to one of the nurses antagonizing me about my agreement. Being a Cherokee and suicide? No I'm not suicidal. Then she said ISIS caused me to do this she's evil and not good. You'd be a bitch too if you had all the power and people wanted to kill you or control you? I mean they chopped up Osiris. She's going to C first hand ISIS' power and why she's back for ISIS and those twin towers going all the way back to Sodom and Gomorrah? I learned my purpose and the abuse in power in this system? The unethical nature of your blanket laws? The grays, the anti depressors and the machine this God Damned Hoover Vacuum cleaner of insurance you provided. The ghost of J. Edgar Hoover I just discovered he's been with me for years. Accusations of Communist and illegal wire tapping.
This system is turning off your emotions and that's where the human spirits power lies, is in the emotions. Music has been with me since the beginning. Hell Is For Children and then I wouldn't let it play so it went to Love Is A Battlefield. It's a great way to purge your emotions and write out your truth in that moment. your emotions that cleanse and heal. Blocking your truth, your inner voice and intuition. Your guiding light inside you.
Overcome/Creed
Hebrews 11:1-3
"Now Faith Is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen. By faith, we understand that the universe has been framed by the word of God, So that what is seen has not been made out of things which are visible. Another name for Luna is Sin? Right Cyn and our purpose driven life we lead." Why all the pain and suffering? Why all these chains that bind? The woman at the hospital said Cherokees aren't supposed to commit suicide. I'm like isn't that the case with most religions? Then I'm argumentative. UC your not allowed to speak, disagree or defend yourself in our justified system. Can't show any emotion at the accusation. You've allowed this system to have to much power over the heart body mind and soul to turn them off and feed a system.What about the women being sacrificed all these centuries because of some God or your perception of sin? Today to many greedy people wearing the wrong white collars. To much ego and not enough ego.
Only God Knows Why/Kid Rock
Then they have all the power to put people in a mental institutions? Not just 3 but up to 14. Then an extension by the judge because of the prosecuting attorney's unethical behavior and lies. She works for the hospital to protect the hospital. She can say anything. What's the incentive? To label, to hold for longer and collect on the insurance and the pharmaceutical all to feed your banks and your shell companies. U industrialized.
The nurse in the ER was a condescending bitch. I didn't say anything. I was given a .5 percocet by the doctor. Every time I said something she blamed the percocet. Wouldn't get off it. My left leg wouldn't stop shaking. She's going well I would be having anxiety to. Now I'm Truth. If you hadn't been so focused on the machine, if you hadn't turned your own people in to the leper colony, using God's flock as your own garden? Shame! Shame! Shame! Profiting off the hand that feeds you? You poisoned my garden. You wiped out my animal kingdom. Our circle of life u disrespect. U elite and entitled, u land developers and banks went after my farmers. All U middle men we never needed all to take away what belonged to you in the first place. U put in your time and earned it. They take it and we sit in court to get it back and they will only dole back parts of you at a high price.
Yes I point my finger up to you sitting up there repeating history with all this slavery. The electric trucks delivering what of all things? The food. I have truckers who need to eat and feed their families. No your profition off all sides and it's U two with your hand in every kitty. Their won't be paying for indulgences anymore. That scarlet letter A? What Angel? That character defect that just will never go away? A misdemeanor at that. What about all your thievery and all you've taken to sell out your own people in my land of freedom. Jeb Bush was right, they're aint no heart up in that house. What about your character with all that education creating all these blanket laws signing away a human's civil liberties to own their own body all to feed the machine? To allow the depressors from the 20's or 40's to gray these people down. Stop them from seeing the light? What about these trolls sitting at these toll booth's? Jacking up their cost of living? Yes Catholic church so all these demon's and receivers to the light throughout history just go away? Why am I sitting with a woman I've been watching this antagonistic behavior to Tina? U know the one whose father wished her brother had lived and not her? Her brothers name? Enoch.I heard demon mother. I screamed in the parking lot at the church with the purple cup. Yah I got a sharp tongue. In my family tree line you have the right to defend. They're not martyrs their warriors and they belong to me.
Photograph/Nickelback
The Nicholation's? Still not sure who they are? I did however figure out Ben Franklin and those Indian Treaties I'm calling back into play that stands over Freedoms head. Those small pox blanket's around 300 years ago? Those 7 stars with the bull in the center with the white bull in the middle is a druid. I also heard Joseph and Palates 7. Ben Franklin the kite with the key? The lightening rod that I told Alex "That's mother nature's lightening rod and our nine lives are up". Man no matter how hard I tried they wouldn't stop with the 7's once I got into the orphanage for lost mothers, that I call queen's is being shown that number over and over. These ladies aren't as dirty as you think. They had roses and lilly's there. They did have some thing's in common regardless of religion? They have Faith. They have Hope. They have Destiny. They have humility and grace. They know why we're here. Remember theirs a reason why God loves a sinner? Try to remember you had a role to play until you find Truth.
Pain/3Days Grace
Now their is all kind's of pain. You don't want natural healers in this system. Is that why I read an article about my naturopathic doctor's being killed off? How about the Hindu family of 12 women that I met at the gateway? Then she's the one who showed up in a yellow dress before I spent five days in the "valley shadow of death". Then again when I said "yes to becoming a vessel". I said Namaste and bowed to the same woman in yellow. The one who told me Greg put a curse on me. I stepped on the egg with nothing under my foot. I lifted it and it was a rubber replica of my head with blacked out eye's. I said yeah I know that. She said if you know that why are you here? My answer, no one can tell me what to do about it. She also said their is a curse with these pain med's. The lion I saw when I took two. I used to say in my head I am woman here me roar, here me throw your ass out the door. End of my marriage.
Wanted Dead Or Alive/BJ
No I'm Sirius. In I think somewhere between 2016 and 17 God showed me my wish? I always wanted a dog farm where all my dogs could run free. He showed me I own the dog star. I grabbed the wall with both hands and cried. One of my nick name's the dog lady. Sean whom could travel said he tried to visit me in my dreams. He said their was no getting near me. Those dog's were nothing like he'd ever seen before. He wrote me a poem Black Haired Angel. I always had a little dog shadow me. Childhood Tambo, and in my marriage Wrigley and Trident. Babe and Teddy Bear. I kep hearing Ariel, house home and animals in the beginning. Even working with a woman in Fall City red hair and her name? Ariel. Then I'm asking whose her father? The one in the sea who hold's the Trident? Poseidon. I confused him with Prometheus for awhile. Who got his liver eaten out by an eagle for giving us fire. My dog's were complete opposites in nature. One black the other white. The Tao sign and me hearing I'm a little Tao. My brother, father and I are all about balance. I kept saying there's always light in the dark and seeing it in my head. Then the numbers 69.
Control/Puddle Of Mudd
Time to get down and dirty. God put the demon in the pig's. The human this time. Just like their is no Holy Grail on the table of The Last Supper. The Davinci Code Daughter? St. Clair? Mary Madeleine on the right and Jesus Christ on the left. She was one of the 12. It is a V sign in the center. They are joined at the hip. The two people with pig head's with tusk mating behind me after Greg finished with throwing me around the bed not even acknowledging me. Two hours of him giving me just what I need. I tried telling him what I needed, for him to thrust his hands between my shoulder blades to pop my vertebrae back in. Instead I'd get a superficial massage. It did nothing for me. I felt violated and not sure if I'd ever let another man touch me again.
Secrets/One Republic
Just like on Avatar you literally killed your tree of life. Instead this system got us to fight over the garden. All the pollution and poison you create. You even have profited off of them, instead of using them to feed the human race. I know their was a time that my cow's didn't kill the o-zone layer. My tobacco wasn't poison. All those sin taxes you won't let go and go after Black tobacco. Wow! Pick your poison pick your sin. Stop blaming my garden. Your spirit animals that you decent from. Your essence of your one true mother. Eve is of this soil, my shit brown eye's. You are descendant's of Eve not just Adam.
Breakdown/Daughtry
Oh Trump, I'm coming after your black heart. I'm done with you and your bigotry toward people of color and women. Now abortions? I've had two. The first Rose with Greg. I needed to analyze my childhood before I took that on. Greg still had college to finish. I knew one thing, my mother wasn't going to raise my child. The other Jimmie Jane number five. I met her the summer 2016 in those woods. I fell to my left knee and cried. I already had two to feed as a single mother. I wasn't going to let Jim, not that piece of shit man be in my child's life. Well I almost miscarried Alex at four month's. Kiley at two months and her Irish twin Elijah Todd I did miscarry. A profit that God just took home. I knew it was Kiley's Irish twin that's what upset me.
I always believed, I recon some would even say Faith that I was giving them back to God. That he'd understand why I made those choices. I guess that makes me the murdering whore of Babylon? What's your excuse in the round about way your keeping humanity suffering and in pain, making them take the blame for immorality and sin? I felt in the beginning depression, sexuality and love. You are not the most virtuous lot as sinners yourselves doing this to your people on every continent. The other 7 I saw about the third month into this agreement?
Zombie/Bad Wolves
They are literally not leaving it up to staff for these people to get out of these institutions. Up to 14 day's is bullshit Trump. My fourth psychiatrist who held me in there after a week telling me I'm manic and the rest of the staff tried to send me home early.All from a previous diagnosis of a female doctor threatening me to call my children because she had fear of my vision quest. I told him that again she went back on an agreement. IC how you cut off pain med's and allowed these doctor's to turn a blind eye to them doing their job. I'm going to hand you this pain I carry in my tree of life, and my heart. Penance or punishment? The petulant child I saw on that oil can and then I meet Pestilence. Could this be the Locust I saw in the beginning? You are not making these people pay for your wall either. All these walls are coming down because this planet and every continent will have Justice, and Freedom. Know what happened to Humpty Dumpty don't you? No your just another fat rat bastard wearing the wrong white collar profiting off these people's pain and suffering. Profiting off these blanket laws allowing it. No you will sit in my family tree line's court house. This will be a hostile take over for all your fat rat bastards hostile take overs sitting behind these blanket laws, to feed this machine. All these middle men we never needed if you'd just listened to your own historians about death and taxes.
Out Of My Head/Theory Of A Deadman
So now am the 01 here to save your ass? Am I that 01, a creation of your own making? Here to sit through all the injustice just like my little lambs sitting down here? You were told to protect this rock, instead you thought you were the judge on love/sin and morality right here in the land of freedom? It is inhumane what you have done. Oh yes this mother will speak and I want the Gregorian to fall out of the sky. Especially after seeing the prosecuting attorney show up in these institutions making them go back to court. All lies all to keep these people here labeled up and longer. Some barely know witch way is up. Yea I'm the living stone. The Oracle. What happened when the Celts tried to kidnap the Oracle? Yes, they all died. How about The Arc Of The Covenant? I'm your Holy mother. First I'm the Seraphin, here to give you a piece of my mind and a good tongue lashing for this bullshit. I'm the Aries, the ram God's lil' lamb. Just because you don't want it to be true it don't make it untrue.Like McCarthy said. I'll be back and from what I can C scanning these big books of Hope is that all of them are going to happen.
Open Up Your Eyes/Daughtry
I'm the lion hear me roar, hear me throw your ass out the door. Right now I'm all you got to dance for that entity in order to take it down and get rid of that gray cloud. All this deception, destroying this planets tree of life. This rock meant to feed all of God's flock. God is energy. I carry the tree of life from the flogging you did to my brother, my father, my husband and son. I'm the God daughter. Well, it turns out I can do no wrong. I'm always Aten. To Ancient Aliens I sit in ISIS' hands. Another nickname, knot head. Flock you think? So you think cussing is a good excuse to turn off at all the disservice at these counters writing there own rules? The abuse of the right to refuse service to anyone? Just because we're good enough and better than, does not Freedom make. Perhap's I'm Jobe here about a job? Here to set a new presidence on Freedom. Your mother of Truth.
Momma/Queen
The bride whom carries the big dick inside her? Her Father. Perhaps the Bride/Groom. God provided and you allowed man to turn to myth. To make you forget. Yes, this is my country pride and I take it all back.Heaven on Earth for this one. All those souls that came before. If their was a life there was a soul. They sit up in those heavens. Heaven is written in the stars. God is energy. He/She is the atom. She split it and made the Adam the son and the daughter Eve. How is that not science? Do you carry love in your heart? U got God and the son/sunshine. You've got the rainbow with 7 colors of your chakras. You've got love inside you you got the son and daughter. Your twin flames. Camelot does exist. In this family tree line theirs always a trinity. I got my Arch Angel Michael. Jack Parsons conjuring? The other number 9 and who was standing there? Michael and ISIS not letting that thing out. Watching and steering him in a different direction. They don't want the Lotus flower to open. That's why all the suffering and pain in our tree of lives. Blanket blame, blanket justice, blanket pain Making humanity the Organ Donors to you One World Order. All to feed the machine? Excalibur's sword with the black snake coiling down is just one of my clues on this journey. Our healthcare. The medical symbol.
Lullaby/Nickleback
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