Michael,
This is the last time I will explain anything. You can take it or leave it. I have known you since Katie was five. What is she 19 now. We started out best friends and you treated me better then. You took away my right to privacy by speaking bad about me to everybody and anybody over the years. I had the right to my privacy even when I drank. You took that away. You have dishonored me as a friend, and as your girlfriend in all walks of life. You have doled out your own justice to me over and over.
You have jailed me. You abandoned me at Christmas and left me alone, not even bothering to call when I was in Thunderbird. I was showered and I waited all day for you to show up. Once again you couldn't even have enough emotion or respect to call me. You have made me pay over and over with others in our lives to cover your own cowardice secrets and lies. You allowed Vivian whom is mentally ill to control our lives and time even in our home.
You made me apologize to Spud because I freaked out when his dog puked on me. I freak out at anything or anyone puking on me. I have that right I am human. You made me hug that man and woman as an apology. I have done everything you have ever asked of me. I have never spoken poorly about you of invaded your privacy inside you or outside your heart to others.
Whether you believe it or not you didn't really spend allot of money on me all those years. I wouldn't let you even buy me clothes, until I really needed them and when I did allow you to, I did it as cheaply as possible. You did however willingly spend money on our sex lives and toys. All those years you allowed your own children to disrespect me. You allowed everyone in our lives to disrespect me to make you feel bigger and smarter.
How many times have you abandoned me and left me penniless all because you were determining my value as a human being and your partner all those years. I was your partner. I stood by you in all walks of life. I have represented you with honor as a partner. I got you through your depression the first time you left Vivian. You just admitted last week that the only reason you went back was financially. You said you could live a lie. I can't live a lie or love a man whom has abandoned me over and over. Left me out in the cold and hungry. You did it again.
You want me to leave. It seems you want me to suffer and leave your way so you can feel better about yourself I recon. You have not only abandoned me but your children with how you value yourself. It's obvious Michael all those years I was your maid for you and yours. Truly you treated me no better than a whore. I can tell you still after all these years you value my self worth based on me servicing your dick. I will not service you that way anymore. I abhor that child inside you. He is vial and disgusting. It disgust me how you have done nothing with him. I don't expect you to open up to me. I did expect you while you were in that mental institution to take care of that kid and be honest with an outsider that isn't going to baby you. Yet allow you to speak openly about him in order to help yourself. Only then can you be an asset to the next relationship you have. Truth is when you know the Truth your not going to like yourself either.
You abandoned your higher power all because you let another human being an outsider determine your worth. I was wrong about you. I valued you as a higher being with a heart. I have a room to rent in about one months time if my SSI kicks in by then. I will be gone for good. You have not valued or honored me as a partner or love ever. You used me and my body. Your behavior and actions in all those years have not changed. You blame me for wanting healthy love from a man for once in my life?
Jesus Paid It All by Fernando Ortega
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