Rock Star by Nickel back, yeah I could use half a pint right now. The Closer You Get The Further I Fall, is right. That one was the biggest shot straight to the heart, the Truth of who my black shadow is kicking me in my dreams? Just why I never saw My X in any of my dreams? He was the faceless invisible man in all my nightmares, I can't see kicking me in the ribs, when I was down on my hands and knees. I was in a stall barn that night locked in and I can't see what, or who is kicking me in the dark? Who's throwing me around? It was another flock of sheep, and this one was a close call.
It finally dawned on me as I first stepped inside my X's office, (in a public place in broad daylight) I saw the watch dog at the door. Then we all seemed to move in slow motion, Greg went right and I took two steps, turned left, trying to get to my daughter, to test my theory on that black shadow. Sure enough there he is standing right there, my biggest black shadow is my X, and the numbers of the Beast came back. I knew it right then and there. The set up and the timing, literally to the day how he signed my three businesses out of my name. Along with all the money, he locked me in a box right there he tied my hands and set me up for the fall, and boy did this start a long long time ago.
Rodeo, Garth Brooks
History repeating itself over and over staring me right in the face. No wonder he doesn't need to answer the door, he trained these girls a long time ago. Each time I went to him when I noticed something about their behavior after our divorce. He behaved just like the school why are you talking to me about it? Why wouldn't I? That's your job right? You spineless piece of shit you leave me to carry the load of all your shit? How many times have you left me to sit in your shit? How many times to save a dollar? How many times did you tell me, don't re-act to your rude behavior?
History repeating itself over and over staring me right in the face. No wonder he doesn't need to answer the door, he trained these girls a long time ago. Each time I went to him when I noticed something about their behavior after our divorce. He behaved just like the school why are you talking to me about it? Why wouldn't I? That's your job right? You spineless piece of shit you leave me to carry the load of all your shit? How many times have you left me to sit in your shit? How many times to save a dollar? How many times did you tell me, don't re-act to your rude behavior?
Don't you dare make a move, don't you hurt, don't you shed a bloody tear drop? Hell Colleen, we wouldn't want people to find out, that would be very rude of you. Don't speak don't tell. We wouldn't want anybody to know? He would tell me it's all in my mind, my childhood, You bet your sweet ass it's about my childhood but I'm not the poisonous seed. He started this the day I told him "I can't get off the couch, I'm pregnant just like last time in only three weeks, I'm so dizzy, I can't see straight, I can't even ke3ep my eyes open. All I can see is a dark cloud".
Music playing now, Red Rock Road, straight to hell and back sweet lava rocks, Jesus Christ Are You Mother Flockin Kiddin Me? My girls are sitting in purgatory and hell, repeating history over and over. That's why I can't break the glass? He's protecting a crime he committed long ago that's why always standing on the outside looking in? Having me committed for a crime I never committed.
When Alex said, "mom I'm so stressed out I'm working six jobs just to go to school and eat. How could I tell her her father is not an honorable man to serve? This is not love? Music Basics Of Love, playing. Tell her nothing you do Sunshine will ever make this Father happy? How can I tell her we don't earn our fathers love or food to eat. Love isn't a just reward, it just is. How can I tell her we are all serving the wrong father? How can I tell her how it is she even came to be sitting her lil ass in that chair? The answers I've been carrying in a box sitting inside a green folder, the answers to that night? Why he stole it? It documents everything the last time I said, " I feel the light inside me I haven't felt you in two years. I haven't felt the light in two years".
I knew one thing I ain't never had no shame in saying "yeah I have conversations with God? What Of it? Doesn't everybody? Isn't that what we're supposed to do, is connect with our creator? Find the light in the end and a stand for your creator, and walk with no shame inside your heart, I knew one thing I had no shame in any of this writing, looking at this timeline, It was when it started to dawn on me just how invisible to this man I really am after ten years, a dysfunctional house from hell, he sat me in and told me to spindle the gold on the wheel, make the money grow on this money tree,
Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys. Fitting song right at the moment.
Now God Dammit, Get to sewing lil woman, get to selling lil woman, do my bidding and make my calls, Do all my public relations by day and night for my business, do all the errands. why bitch you just be my lil gopher girl, come sunup or sundown, I'll always be the one to tell you when to get up and when to lie down and when to be my kitty cat bitch and roar like a lion, Till then shut your pie hole, get back to work, get back down on your knees and scrub the spot's off the carpet and mop linoleum, cut every bodies hair. What hire the neighbor boy to mow the lawn? That's absurd why can't you do it? Get up in the night to keep it lit bitch, don't you let your pilot light burn out. Come on girl keep on moving, you dirty lil trashy whore, now down on your knees bitch and suck my.... come on you know you want a piece of all this?
Now God Dammit, Get to sewing lil woman, get to selling lil woman, do my bidding and make my calls, Do all my public relations by day and night for my business, do all the errands. why bitch you just be my lil gopher girl, come sunup or sundown, I'll always be the one to tell you when to get up and when to lie down and when to be my kitty cat bitch and roar like a lion, Till then shut your pie hole, get back to work, get back down on your knees and scrub the spot's off the carpet and mop linoleum, cut every bodies hair. What hire the neighbor boy to mow the lawn? That's absurd why can't you do it? Get up in the night to keep it lit bitch, don't you let your pilot light burn out. Come on girl keep on moving, you dirty lil trashy whore, now down on your knees bitch and suck my.... come on you know you want a piece of all this?
The Ride
That is why that day when I looked at Sue Noon,when I was moving out and Greg was moving in. We weren't even divorced yet, The second time in two weeks, look where your at? Look at the timing just when I come by? I hadn't even opened my mouth, as I stand in the kitchen watching Pat Noon console poor Greg, for all the hell he endured being married to a crisis such as me. Greg's got his head down shaking his head, once again I see just what it is I'm supposed to see at just the right time the truth, of the lie once again.
That is why that day when I looked at Sue Noon,when I was moving out and Greg was moving in. We weren't even divorced yet, The second time in two weeks, look where your at? Look at the timing just when I come by? I hadn't even opened my mouth, as I stand in the kitchen watching Pat Noon console poor Greg, for all the hell he endured being married to a crisis such as me. Greg's got his head down shaking his head, once again I see just what it is I'm supposed to see at just the right time the truth, of the lie once again.
Thank God I'm a country Boy,
Sue say's right off the bat, "Now Colleen I'm not gonna choose between you and Greg". That was just the point, I didn't ask? I wanted us to be civil. Especially after all I had let go of after he signed it all over, and once again for my children, I tried to turn a positive into a negative, Restart, recharge. He nit picked me, and nickle and dimed me after all he had stolen. You see standing at that counter after Greg informed me since I no longer cook him two dinners a night, and I spend all this money on organic groceries to feed my children, Imagine that? Organics were even to high a price to pay for back then even? Being married to such a organic piece of shit like my man, you bet it chaps my ass how broken my picker is.
Sue say's right off the bat, "Now Colleen I'm not gonna choose between you and Greg". That was just the point, I didn't ask? I wanted us to be civil. Especially after all I had let go of after he signed it all over, and once again for my children, I tried to turn a positive into a negative, Restart, recharge. He nit picked me, and nickle and dimed me after all he had stolen. You see standing at that counter after Greg informed me since I no longer cook him two dinners a night, and I spend all this money on organic groceries to feed my children, Imagine that? Organics were even to high a price to pay for back then even? Being married to such a organic piece of shit like my man, you bet it chaps my ass how broken my picker is.
He actually stood in the kitchen and informed me that since I no longer work and provide for the house, that it is now my job to get up seven days a week, I pretty much did anyways, and well when I didn't, could it be all this sleep medication I need? Non Narcotic at that? The pills you stood behind me and laughed, telling me how crazy I am to need these pills? Well if I recall the first night home after my surgery, I sat on the couch and I screaming out in agony inside my mind. I had fire rolling through my right foot and I wouldn't even take the second pill until the allotted time six hours later. I didn't want to wake up his Highness even then.
It actually says right here that it was the day before my foot surgery and all week before you hounded me to sit down with Mary Stone, because she's got a great idea how to own shares in our business. This was after I got in Greg's face one time ever in my life and I said to him with my right index finger pointing straight up in the air, "I built these businesses with my bare hands. It is a small family run business, and that is all it will ever be". This is where all of a sudden I have this other woman in my life that this was nothing, He told me just the week before. Such a nice lady to come along just in time to help us out when we need it for free Colleen.
If Tomorrow Never Comes Song
I said, "ain't nothing free Greg". He literally sets me down about how I can't go in my own office I just opened two years ago. He had Mary Stone hand me a two page spousal stipulation that I can only walk in the front door of my office and I have to remain in the waiting area, the one time in what Greg, ten years? The first time I dropped the ball and I didn't drop it at all, you sold me out right then. I had already been back through my mind before I stepped into his office all the times I got drunk in ten plus years of dating and marriage, it was seven times, four times I was not with him. With him or not I got a lecture when I got home, or made to put the kids back to bed because he works and I need to be punished for leaving. I was his designated driver for ten years. So it started during the time after my girls and me got the bird flu for two months around all the holidays, and I begged Greg to hire me help and Greg had to wait once again didn't want to pay someone. Always looking for a barter for a dollar.
I said, "ain't nothing free Greg". He literally sets me down about how I can't go in my own office I just opened two years ago. He had Mary Stone hand me a two page spousal stipulation that I can only walk in the front door of my office and I have to remain in the waiting area, the one time in what Greg, ten years? The first time I dropped the ball and I didn't drop it at all, you sold me out right then. I had already been back through my mind before I stepped into his office all the times I got drunk in ten plus years of dating and marriage, it was seven times, four times I was not with him. With him or not I got a lecture when I got home, or made to put the kids back to bed because he works and I need to be punished for leaving. I was his designated driver for ten years. So it started during the time after my girls and me got the bird flu for two months around all the holidays, and I begged Greg to hire me help and Greg had to wait once again didn't want to pay someone. Always looking for a barter for a dollar.
When You Say Nothing At All
By the time I stepped through that door I had already figured out all those years I worked for free, or so people, how he collected off my body and my pain and suffering. No one knew nothing of the part time sales jobs, and server job's in between, or how long our paychecks dropped because of a four month fatal attraction and how after I showed up back at his office to sit in front of this couple with his boss, "My husband ain't your night in shining armor". I already knew by then that he certainly wasn't mine, I had just used the same words to Greg the night before, when he didn't even bother to explain to me why a man shows up at my door? People are treating me strangely, I'm passing out and dropping to the floor, he didn't even take a minute to explain to me what this was all about? I learned it watching him sit on the phone and cover his ass to my family. It's all a misunderstanding, it's just Colleen over reacting.
By the time I stepped through that door I had already figured out all those years I worked for free, or so people, how he collected off my body and my pain and suffering. No one knew nothing of the part time sales jobs, and server job's in between, or how long our paychecks dropped because of a four month fatal attraction and how after I showed up back at his office to sit in front of this couple with his boss, "My husband ain't your night in shining armor". I already knew by then that he certainly wasn't mine, I had just used the same words to Greg the night before, when he didn't even bother to explain to me why a man shows up at my door? People are treating me strangely, I'm passing out and dropping to the floor, he didn't even take a minute to explain to me what this was all about? I learned it watching him sit on the phone and cover his ass to my family. It's all a misunderstanding, it's just Colleen over reacting.
American Soldier
No one else knew that Greg's income declined, but hell now we got two kids sticking them in daycare is more than I can make, so yeah I had to use the credit cards to live and by the summer time, I had the front doors open to his office once again, He even called me on my fathers death bed to tell me I need to come in and hammer some nails in the wall. I have to do my part. At one thirty a.m., the day of his funeral that I sang Amazing Grace to a father to a man, that didn't even know his daughter had a voice, that I could belt out a tune to a song I didn't even know. I can stand in front of my lil family and sing my heart out for the first time in my life to a man who didn't even know I existed, but God Dammit it's this Irish Black Swill Daddy, who made me a promise, when I was six year's old that he'd build me a house someday for just me and him.
No one else knew that Greg's income declined, but hell now we got two kids sticking them in daycare is more than I can make, so yeah I had to use the credit cards to live and by the summer time, I had the front doors open to his office once again, He even called me on my fathers death bed to tell me I need to come in and hammer some nails in the wall. I have to do my part. At one thirty a.m., the day of his funeral that I sang Amazing Grace to a father to a man, that didn't even know his daughter had a voice, that I could belt out a tune to a song I didn't even know. I can stand in front of my lil family and sing my heart out for the first time in my life to a man who didn't even know I existed, but God Dammit it's this Irish Black Swill Daddy, who made me a promise, when I was six year's old that he'd build me a house someday for just me and him.
It was this daddy who showed up and we had a a conversation on the back porch, looking for the answer to the test just one more time before I go through another nightmare brother from hell, My answer was "I know Daddy. He just needs love".
She's Got Her Blue Jeans On
She Don't know she's beautiful, and according to this timeline I had plenty of sit down conversations pointing out what it was I discovered after ten years of marriage, when I curled up on the floor and cried my eyes out, Not one mention of me or my children in ten years, Not one time did he have a answer or excuse not only for his bad behavior, He wouldn't mention it acknowledge all he has stolen and done already, and he sits there bouncing it right back, Colleen, you need help it's your childhood. What I see here is a clear timeline of me discovering you don't have emotions and you didn't want me or anyone else to find out, So you planted a crazy alcoholic, falling out of her mind crazy, She was so crazy she flocked up the books, That I spent thousands and thousands to save a couple tax dollars. Two years and four accountants later, every six months starting the whole process all over again, the hand off from accountant to accountant. I touched the ball so I took the blame.Ten to twelve thousand a pop. Accountants we never needed, but his highness had a reputation and a trophy wife.
She Don't know she's beautiful, and according to this timeline I had plenty of sit down conversations pointing out what it was I discovered after ten years of marriage, when I curled up on the floor and cried my eyes out, Not one mention of me or my children in ten years, Not one time did he have a answer or excuse not only for his bad behavior, He wouldn't mention it acknowledge all he has stolen and done already, and he sits there bouncing it right back, Colleen, you need help it's your childhood. What I see here is a clear timeline of me discovering you don't have emotions and you didn't want me or anyone else to find out, So you planted a crazy alcoholic, falling out of her mind crazy, She was so crazy she flocked up the books, That I spent thousands and thousands to save a couple tax dollars. Two years and four accountants later, every six months starting the whole process all over again, the hand off from accountant to accountant. I touched the ball so I took the blame.Ten to twelve thousand a pop. Accountants we never needed, but his highness had a reputation and a trophy wife.
She's Not Sexy Anymore
She put us in this financial debt all that money she spends, I wonder why? I wonder why Greg was always bartering for free services? I wonder why Greg was looking for another woman who was willing to work three jobs for the price of one very very very broken heart. That is what it's all about this Mothers Broken heart after all, Sitting in a rehab that I asked you to stay away and all of a sudden you are right there? Now ask my mother if you were even home with the kids, the first nights three half gallons of alcohol your weed under the mattress,your royal crown under the seat you left in my car, I had four months of pain pills and within a couple days, you were calling me on the phone wanting to know if I had a lawyer because you now owe Mary Stone $12,000 after all and your in a bind,
She put us in this financial debt all that money she spends, I wonder why? I wonder why Greg was always bartering for free services? I wonder why Greg was looking for another woman who was willing to work three jobs for the price of one very very very broken heart. That is what it's all about this Mothers Broken heart after all, Sitting in a rehab that I asked you to stay away and all of a sudden you are right there? Now ask my mother if you were even home with the kids, the first nights three half gallons of alcohol your weed under the mattress,your royal crown under the seat you left in my car, I had four months of pain pills and within a couple days, you were calling me on the phone wanting to know if I had a lawyer because you now owe Mary Stone $12,000 after all and your in a bind,
A few More Red Necks
So I had to hire and pay a lawyer out of the allowance you gave to feed my children. All to find out that after a few months of Mary Stone's help I get stuck with outlandish labels trying to get help for myself. I got stuck with that bill too. I once again let it go for my children. I asked if I could go to Real Estate School because I was only allowed to do a quick service school when the agreement was college. He said "I don't know Colleen, I don't know if we can afford it you'll have to ask Mary Stone". I had to walk in my own office that after I refused to sign over they performed a previous test to get me to re act. I got a call to be your gopher girl during what is supposed to be my time off once again. Only to walk in and have Mary Stone say "Oh I'm Sorry Colleen , we opened new accounts, and well this account no longer has your name on it". She points to the wall, to let me see she removed my name off the business license also. Once again during business hours. I walk out and once again I don't make a scene.
So I had to hire and pay a lawyer out of the allowance you gave to feed my children. All to find out that after a few months of Mary Stone's help I get stuck with outlandish labels trying to get help for myself. I got stuck with that bill too. I once again let it go for my children. I asked if I could go to Real Estate School because I was only allowed to do a quick service school when the agreement was college. He said "I don't know Colleen, I don't know if we can afford it you'll have to ask Mary Stone". I had to walk in my own office that after I refused to sign over they performed a previous test to get me to re act. I got a call to be your gopher girl during what is supposed to be my time off once again. Only to walk in and have Mary Stone say "Oh I'm Sorry Colleen , we opened new accounts, and well this account no longer has your name on it". She points to the wall, to let me see she removed my name off the business license also. Once again during business hours. I walk out and once again I don't make a scene.
So yeah I had the Truth staring me in the face, when I saw the look on my daughters face, that she doesn't even have a clue how this office came to be or the house? I stole those papers back and forgot about them after my divorce lawyer told me "Colleen the state doesn't recognize abuse in a divorce." So Greg came back into the house and stole the computer, I needed to work from home with the girls, He had two computers at work. My attorney had to make him return it and when he did the Mother Board was broken, and now I have to go into the office to use a computer, trying to be with my kids and work.
I swear, John Michael Montgomery
All those nights walking through the snow alone under the full moon and he never came or bothered to even step into the room. It was then I walked up to my daughter and I saw my dark shadow in my dreams, It is her father, the 666 beast and he really was trying to kill me off and burn me out. It was Greg who walked into my Real Estate job and gave Carol, Cary's X-Wife fuel the fire, the ammunition and lies in a community where I need to make a living, she even pulled and paid for my divorce papers and spread rumors on stuff, that I didn't get to speak about I was told by my lawyer it's a waste of time and money, to let it go.
All those nights walking through the snow alone under the full moon and he never came or bothered to even step into the room. It was then I walked up to my daughter and I saw my dark shadow in my dreams, It is her father, the 666 beast and he really was trying to kill me off and burn me out. It was Greg who walked into my Real Estate job and gave Carol, Cary's X-Wife fuel the fire, the ammunition and lies in a community where I need to make a living, she even pulled and paid for my divorce papers and spread rumors on stuff, that I didn't get to speak about I was told by my lawyer it's a waste of time and money, to let it go.
Good Hearted Woman
It was in Rehab where when I went to talk about the bloody heart flowers who used to block Rana's doorway, A woman who used to be my best friend. Who at the time needed a job and was working in my office sitting in my chair because now her and Bill are divorcing. This is the quintuplet to Alex's Big Goldie Lox Bear twin, we met in the hospital and yes she broke my heart, because well she needed to be needed and Greg had her bake cupcakes for my daughters birthday, and when I got there to deliver them, I was told I had to take them back, my old best friend made them instead.
It was in Rehab where when I went to talk about the bloody heart flowers who used to block Rana's doorway, A woman who used to be my best friend. Who at the time needed a job and was working in my office sitting in my chair because now her and Bill are divorcing. This is the quintuplet to Alex's Big Goldie Lox Bear twin, we met in the hospital and yes she broke my heart, because well she needed to be needed and Greg had her bake cupcakes for my daughters birthday, and when I got there to deliver them, I was told I had to take them back, my old best friend made them instead.
At a school I would pop in with surprise lunch to eat with my daughters and their little friends and perhaps yes I left the office to teach my daughters and there friends Chinese Jump Rope. Since I caused such a scene the one day, he opened the door after he tore me a new one in our office, for a pack of lies, I didn't even yell then, and for the first time in my life I uttered seven little words, "don't you turn your back on me." It was right then he 86'd me and said your the problem, it's not me Colleen it's your childhood.
When the Thunder Rolls
I remembered the night of the spilled red wine when I walked in on Alex climbing in the freezer to share a popsicle with her lil sister. I saw love and after all this counseling and classes it didn't matter how nicely I explained, the climbing is no longer a issue, she's little and she's like her mother. Hell I was climbing ladder's counters and cupboards with her in the womb. I watched her at two and half shimmy her little diaper butt up the side of the washer, slide her lil butt on top and step over to the dryer to get to that old Halloween candy, because this one never forgot. I told Molly, I'm her mother and she's never fallen.
I remembered the night of the spilled red wine when I walked in on Alex climbing in the freezer to share a popsicle with her lil sister. I saw love and after all this counseling and classes it didn't matter how nicely I explained, the climbing is no longer a issue, she's little and she's like her mother. Hell I was climbing ladder's counters and cupboards with her in the womb. I watched her at two and half shimmy her little diaper butt up the side of the washer, slide her lil butt on top and step over to the dryer to get to that old Halloween candy, because this one never forgot. I told Molly, I'm her mother and she's never fallen.
It's Great To Be Alive
Molly couldn't accept my answer when I very nicely said, Molly it's not your place, it is mine. You do not have children yet. I do, someday you will understand. Molly couldn't just let it go so I get a upset Molly phone call telling me how and why she still thinks I should discipline my daughter. Once again very nicely I said Molly it's not your place. You need to let this go. So Molly starts calling the office, now she's got referrals and she's budding up to my husband bringing this shit into my office, She even tried telling Greg that he needs to talk to me I was rude to her on the phone. Which was a bold face lie. I told Greg get this behavior out of my office.
Molly couldn't accept my answer when I very nicely said, Molly it's not your place, it is mine. You do not have children yet. I do, someday you will understand. Molly couldn't just let it go so I get a upset Molly phone call telling me how and why she still thinks I should discipline my daughter. Once again very nicely I said Molly it's not your place. You need to let this go. So Molly starts calling the office, now she's got referrals and she's budding up to my husband bringing this shit into my office, She even tried telling Greg that he needs to talk to me I was rude to her on the phone. Which was a bold face lie. I told Greg get this behavior out of my office.
I took pain pills for four months. Four months later I took two more, I saw a lion roar in my head, it was then I knew I needed tools to help me tame this lion. Greg sat in a detox center insisting to the councilor he needs to keep me. They were like why? She's not on anything, she's just here to get some tools shes perfectly aware. In this letter it says the last winter I packed up my children to take to Arizona. Another Christmas that I pack my children's Christmas up to spend in Arizona with them and I over hear my mother in law say I'm always making waves. This was over Molly something that has happened long before coming back to bite me in the ass once again. It was taken care of and done.
I saw it right there looking in my daughters eye, she's locked in and she can't get out and she doesn't know why? I hug her and I tell her he owns none of this. It was then it hit me like a bolt of lightening. I'm here to get my girls out of purgatory and hell. They are locked in Cinderella Hell, right behind the big Daddies door's the beast himself Daddy 666 and from there it grows, number two, then two more become four, and well two more Greg gets a fourth six and that's not counting his name, I got seven sixes, and I have to get my children out of here, and funny thing is since this started, I wondered why he was so protective of his door and why everyone thinks I'm gonna cause a scene? Could it be that even after we divorced he was telling the new hires not to set me off, I'm crazy.
I Wouldn't of Missed It For the World, song.
I was on the way to ask Greg if she's in town, I was on the way to the library to write her a poem about the rock of love, joy and faith, He walks up to her quietly from behind once more, in the office the first words Alex says to me is mom don't react and now I wonder whose hiding who, and who has who locked inside? I handed Greg the keys to the kingdom the day I gave him my writing with all the answers once again. The answers to the keys to the kingdom, the keys to my heart, my children. That is why the bounty on my head and all the hate toward me and anyone who discovers the truth, he stole everything before I got to the divorce, and I kept letting it go for my children.
I was on the way to ask Greg if she's in town, I was on the way to the library to write her a poem about the rock of love, joy and faith, He walks up to her quietly from behind once more, in the office the first words Alex says to me is mom don't react and now I wonder whose hiding who, and who has who locked inside? I handed Greg the keys to the kingdom the day I gave him my writing with all the answers once again. The answers to the keys to the kingdom, the keys to my heart, my children. That is why the bounty on my head and all the hate toward me and anyone who discovers the truth, he stole everything before I got to the divorce, and I kept letting it go for my children.
There Goes My Life
My Rock My Light My Two Minnie Mes, who I know have emotions, because they tell me in just a few words, and here I am not making a scene, I've never made a scene. Everything she has ever asked for is back in town, and her father is not happy to see me and once again I now know why he went after me with daggers, even after the money? He put a price tag on love, my children and well like I told my mother in the car, you might want to look in that mirror at the common denominator between your three children, because you can't buy my love. So it looks like we do this the hard way. I handed him the answers to my prayers once more and he his venom and that peace sign he makes on his bottom lip when I speak to him, I married the black Viper, and as much as I call my husband, my God asshole, I think today, I will thank God for working in mysterious ways even if it's pretty cliche a trucker who drives a food truck, and a server who met on the oldest covenant on this rock, at that red rock.
My Rock My Light My Two Minnie Mes, who I know have emotions, because they tell me in just a few words, and here I am not making a scene, I've never made a scene. Everything she has ever asked for is back in town, and her father is not happy to see me and once again I now know why he went after me with daggers, even after the money? He put a price tag on love, my children and well like I told my mother in the car, you might want to look in that mirror at the common denominator between your three children, because you can't buy my love. So it looks like we do this the hard way. I handed him the answers to my prayers once more and he his venom and that peace sign he makes on his bottom lip when I speak to him, I married the black Viper, and as much as I call my husband, my God asshole, I think today, I will thank God for working in mysterious ways even if it's pretty cliche a trucker who drives a food truck, and a server who met on the oldest covenant on this rock, at that red rock.
I watched him walk away April second because I was to coward to step out of the shadows and speak the truth, I didn't know it had anything to do with you when I said yes.
Meet In The Middle, Diamond Rio
I realized after I walked away and left her crying once more, I found the documents Alex and he doesn't own any of this. Why Don't you ask him about my wedding ring you were supposed to receive, from mother to first daughter, that blue stone with ten lil, diamonds. Greg is standing quietly behind enjoying once again this show down. Why don't you ask him about the four thousand I got from my father after he died and I invested it back into the office. Then the over six thousand he collected on me and my sister for a car accident he caused. I never got treated even I got eighty sixed. Why did I have so many migraines?
Papa Loved Mama Ropin, The Wind
All the distention this one man created in my family, everyone thinks I'm the bad seed and I wonder why? You cleaned me out and locked me in a box, You buried me six feet under before I even got my foot out the door. All my life I'm hangin close by, no matter what,
Where were you (when the world stopped turning)
I wouldn't leave them until they each got to a certain age, just like my brother and me, hanging close by in that little green house on Ross Street. Makes me wonder when I was in the classroom play, at Barnes School, I don't remember, was I drip or a drop? I bet we're about to find out.
Now I understand why they woke me up just when they did, just why I got raped in that gold truck that said, CRST, Why I read that man his rights, before my family shut him down for me, so he wasn't free to take out his hate and anger on this lil mother and sister, anymore. God Dammit I'm this families poison Ivy.
I asked God the other day why God, Why are you making me stronger, why the egg on my left shoulder, the rebuild from the inside out right down to my heart chakra,? Why are you strengthening my rotator cuff on my broken left wing? What do you have for me? What kind of pain am I going to be in? Just how bad is this gonna hurt?
Almost Heaven John Denver
He reminded me that I'm the Tourmaline Rock, In with the bad, out with the good. Then I find out Greg is't the brother, he isn't the balance in his birth date 10/12/67. He isn't the balance, I am. I'm his balance for all his poisonous spew and poisonous seed's making mountains out of mole hills, When he stood behind my daughter, and I said out loud" My God, you have my children behind the beast door, the one who hates this mother, and not much respect for the ones who come before". The music playing in the background "Kryptonite." I was down on my knee's in front of Glass of Mary Jane, crying my eyes out right hand in the air. I'm this five star families Kryptonite, and I don't give a flying flock what black star or cult your from don't you ever come back. I know one thing you'll all pray this mother won't have too come back and clean house ever again. My first broom a dirt devil age three. Been cleaning houses a long time now.
The Conversation
To think this all started when the truckers asked for more fruit on the salad bar. I couldn't even get to my manager's door, Why I stood inside TA with rainwater coming down through the outlets coming down on my head, two different Michael's showed up, one each time. Why I stood at that cooking line with water flowing like a dirty river, to discover the father with the black heart, belongs to my own children's father, and I know they have a heart. They have their families heart, just like their mother. Thank God.
Deeper Than The Holler
These two have emotions, since this started, I told Greg back off, it's my journey, don't you interfere. Now I know why Love can't grow without the sun? I'm Mother Nature and well mother nature don't belong in a box after all, she belongs outside in the Sun spreading their love and magic. Even I knew sitting in the wood's, knowing full well who I am, that it's pretty common knowledge, You don't Flock with Mother Nature and her Family Pride.
Turn's out The Beast didn't need to turn the soil, he just needed to stir the, pot, and drain the honey, chip the tree bark off my spine, one sliver at a time. As he pecked away at my spine my tree of life and he did it slowly over time, all to drain the honey from this mothers well, and drink my essence from that milky way.
I love A rainy Night, Eddie Rabbit, I can't wait to tell my daughter after reading some of my writing as I scribe what I now call my emotions I wear with my families Pride, it turn's out I didn't need his money to go to college and he did choose the wrong money tree after all, and the wrong family to flock with.
Your As Cold As Ice/Foreigner
Your As Cold As Ice/Foreigner
Does the God Particle need a green card?
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