Monday, May 16, 2016

Devil Went Down To Georgia

Devil Went Down To Georgia/Charlie Daniels Band
Satan my brother is draining my energy. He's making my hands weak. I need these hands for my family upstairs. I can't carry the trays and plates to serve the food anymore. My family was right I'm done serving food. I have to hold them out for just a couple months more. Help, a girls got to eat? I served food and cleaned other people's houses all those years, it was for my family upstairs. I never really got paid. I have to trust my family upstairs to get me through.
I have figured out Satan's plan to take out the mother through starving her children? That is why all the poisonous food and water. That is why my energy drain and fatigue.
Satan's plan is to take out God by killing off his one true love. Mother earth and the holy mother are one and the same energy source. That energy source is mother earth and the Sun. His Son, the Father.
No one ever said the twelve fruits of the tree have to come from one family here on this planet?
JC and the Holy Mother/Mother Nature are two halves of one whole heart this time. Tween the two shall meet.
Satan ICU trying to get me homeless without a roof over my head so you can get me out in the dark alone? Bring it brother. I hop buses all day and night long. I will lock the door and throw away the key to my daughters heart one last time. Your new number will be 000000000 times three forevermore.

Monday, May 9, 2016

World Peace

I have been just fuming over the fact that Satan was in the womb with me when I was pregnant with Kiley? That is why I felt so drained? My body was burning up fighting him away from my unborn daughter? That's why the food poisoning while I was two months pregnant? No one else got sick except me? I called Taco Bell, Taco Hell. I almost miscarried at four months with Alex. All I have to hold onto is Greg telling me at the worst possible moments in my life "to buck up, I can handle it." I mean really Greg, even if this is a darkness I was fighting on the inside on the human side, why would you never help me? Why did you always leave your dirty laundry for me to clean up when it was your mess?

They took me back to a prayer that I had when I said, "all I want is peace." It wasn't voices in my head it was simply that I couldn't just spend time with my children and relax. I always had so much to do. I was always in a rush squeezing in even play dates, owning three business and volunteering at school? When I think about it back then I didn't like for myself, the two working people in a family like I thought I would? I wanted to be away for just a lil while to do something for myself that was a part of me.

After Alex was born I signed up for voice lessons like every other week over by Greg's work in Bellevue. I figured he'd get alone time with Alex for a lil' while and I can get something done for me. I mean Greg had two hour lunches everyday and sometimes he had reports and charts and others he'd meet someone for lunch to expand his clientele. Wouldn't you know it Greg canceled three out of the four times on me. If something came up it fell on my day every time.

From the beginning way of my life I always worked out. I wasn't a fanatic but I pretty much did something everyday, always a combination of weights, running, aerobics or yoga. After we had kids it was a battle just to get to go to the gym. It didn't matter how cheap, it didn't matter if I went if he was at home, it was a battle. I have figured out that when you meet someone you can't take away something that is good. That is a part of them. Truth be told you don't take care of your bitch, you create a bitch. I haven't lost it yet.

The only reason that I went to that meditation class was because I was having a hard time connecting. I wasn't even aware how much I really connected. While I was there I was told that I was here for Kiley that she wanted me there. I said, that would be a no, I'm here for myself. Little did I know who I really was? I had forgotten all about that black shadow and that is why I compartmentalized it. When you pray, you pray from the heart. You pray with what you are feeling inside. It's not about any one situation its just the emotion.

The reason why I let them have it upstairs the way I do is because hell they had to of lived with me before? They knew what they were getting into upstairs with me? If I'm thinking it when I'm pissed off I let them have it. I mean come on, if they had told me before that Satan is making a play and that play is to take out the Father through the mother and her children, I would of said, "uh uh no way, you all get someone else for this one."

At first I heard family, and when they asked if they can come into me I never even realized until later on that their was a they? I forgot about the they part? I heard family and save. Then they took me right into my children's father. Wow, the energy of that scene was real old. I have figured that the G this time represent God. I have faith in Greg that he will bring it when the time comes and I know in the mean time he's going to schmooze behind the scenes through my children. I figured out that the issue was that Greg took the all three businesses out of my name behind my back with Mary Stone. Looking back Greg did a lot of things behind my back. He apparently is angry for some reason and if I failed him it's only because he failed me first. I couldn't even get a chiropractic treatment from him. If a client came in when I'd sneak to lie on that hydro bed. A walk in would come in and Greg couldn't ask them to wait for ten minutes for his wife?

Then after the divorce I couldn't afford health insurance and I asked Greg if he could keep me on and I'd pay the difference and he said no? I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on migraine medication and being a guinea pig for the lamest ass studies ever. The most assinine shit they put me through for years? I needed more than six to nine migraine pills a month. Because of the guidelines I couldn't get that. They made me feel guilty as a patient for needing help for my pain in my neck and back. I had never been diagnosed and told I was lying just to get pain pills. Then I'd get paranoid of the pain. I mean how can I take care of my daughters day after day, do all that volunteer work, 3 businesses and a fixer upper? Hell my kitchen never got done. My fridge was on the other side of the kitchen and I sure as hell didn't need white linoleum floors not with all my children, our friends and all their animals? Yes my friends brought their animals to my house too. I was the dog lady after all. I took in the strays too.

I always understood little dog's. Why they moved so fast and why they were so yappy. You'd be fast to if you had to move around all these giant feet? You'd be yappy if you were always getting stepped on. I always laughed when the lil' dogs would line up on the couch and get those big dogs in line if they crossed their nose over the couch edge. Yes I stepped in and made my dogs stop, no being rude in my house.

I had always seen a Cain and Abel fight from right around the second month I think. I felt a huge brother and brother fight. I didn't want certain boys around each other at the time because I felt a real primal fight coming on between brother and brother from long long ago. Later on I sensed a real David and Goliath fight. I also don't know how it never dawned on me that I was David in this story line. I wasn't happy about Satan being in the womb with my daughter. I'm not one God Damned bit happy that my children's uncle is Satan/Lucifer. Yeah their is a few of those dark essence carrying through people. To finally realize how close my family is to Satan?

The fine line of Love and Hate? Not for me this time. That line has widened into all of this gray matter I see around me. The gray matter in our minds. That purgatory they have placed us in with all of our fears. I was not happy to find out that the E.T. and Satan are the two brothers working within the investors. The insurance, pharmacy health care and lies in that are huge? All those labels of mental illness and pills that are made up to suppress us? This technology we count to much on today. It is literally shutting us down and holding us back. Plus all these maintenance cost warranties upgrades new software taking over new contracts and binds and disclaimers that are all lies.

The fear in the bibles? The fear of sin and pitting and creating blame right from the beginning from brother to sister? Eons ago people. It is a huge old lie. The rules and rituals to keep you stressed and to busy to accommodate all the demands on peoples heads today? I mean working two jobs to pay the rent is unforgivable. All we do is blame others who struggle and they like that in hell. They like us fighting and all this discontent. The way I see it, their really isn't one nation that can really point a finger at each other right now? It's not about blame anymore people. We see what blame creates? It creates distention, and fear. Satan feeds on that and grows and grows. It's not the bible or story lines that I have a issue with it is the parts that create distention. How is that distention Love? I mean ask yourself WWJD? That time is coming. I can't stop it but I can give you the answers to get stronger inside.

The job I started last week that I love. Even if I'm slinging red sauce. My arms are strong but my hands are to weak to carry the tray or plate. I couldn't even finish running food. After one week my hands are strained. Satan at work in me. Today thank God Michael gets off early because I have to go buy two hand braces to get through work tonight. If that doesn't work, I'm fucked. The rug gets pulled out from under me again.























Monday, May 2, 2016

I Can See Clearly Now

05/02/2016 Karma is a BITCH

 Music for the moment is Panic At The Disco, shuffle.

God damned tobacco anyway. I'm a lil hot under the collar today. I know things have been on the upside lately but really sometimes these ladies really piss me off. I had a secret stash of tobacco here on the site. Two women knew it was there. I told them to help themselves but remember that is my backup stash for when I run out. I start my job today. Well I am supposed to at two o clock. My crews for shoes won't be here until tomorrow and no one has a clue what time? I need those shoes for work today is just paperwork. I have three smokes left expecting to roll and all my tobacco is gone including my back up stash to that bag.

Do you think I am happy? I am up to here with this give an inch and take a mile. No one thinks about who is coming up behind you anymore? No one thinks about the mess they leave behind expecting someone else to clean it up? It was like that at TA. I'd ask a certain server every time I worked with her "if these were her dishes? Every time she said yes, and not one time did she walk out that door with those dishes cleaned up. I mean for God's sake you are a server. Your mother don't work here, clean up your own God Damn mess."

In this house these women know if I see you walk out of a bathroom and you left that toilet paper role empty I step outside in the hallway and I call you out. I make it fun a game. Just to make people think. I looked at both of these women and I said "you mean to tell me, not one of you thought about me when you saw it was low or when you used the last of it? I have covered you women for over a week and this is what you two do?" With their eyes cast down and head bowed they stuttered out, we will replace your bag of tobacco once we get paid. I said what do I do until then? Do you know how many hours it is going to take me to go get Michael's card to buy a pack of smokes? If I'm lucky enough to find a store that sells smokes in that area without going further out of my way? Now I don't want another bag of tobacco. I smoke Marlboro black longs and I expect a pack from each of you. They are just lucky I don't hold grudges.

In the last few weeks I found a pair of clear lens and clear frame glasses. I put them on and I could see so much clearer than the other pair that came my way. Those had three lil white rhinestones on the outside corner of each eye. I was just walking along and their they sat right on the sidewalk. If I had not been looking I would of stepped right on them. They were just my size. No fat head had worn these ones. They fit me just perfect.

A few days back I looked down and I picked up a nickel. It was a liberty nickel dated 2013. You know what I saw? I saw zero, one, two, three. I know what that code means. I mean really if you think I don't hold the keys to this code you better think again? I see zero king and me. Those numbers add up to one. Now I know I always got two more behind me and so does he. I mean really I know who my four kings are. I might not know what Brother Red holds in his hand. I might not know who Kyle's daddy is right here or on that front line, but to tell you the truth I don't need to know that? I don't need to know what that father of that trinity holds in his hand? All I need to know is that their is a very powerful four square on both ends of this family tree.

Talk about Karma. I remember writing a while back that for once I want to see Karma at work? I LMFAO when I realized yesterday or the day before that I did see it. The night that Demon Dog died in Fife? It might be just a scratch to you, a lil bite even but I assure you up there that is a lightening bolt. Strike one you are out of the game. I don't have to see the outcome. That Demon Dog made a choice when he touched me. Hey I can't help what my family is cooking up up there? All I can do is handle my own right here. What can I say Karma can be a real BITCH.

Know what else dawned on me? That I got the Right Hand of God. All this dancing that I am doing is getting me ready for the day when he comes. You do know he is coming? I get happy feet just thinking about it. I wag my tail every time just thinking about it. Time to get on your dancing shoes. This Tinker Bell shit is starting to kick in. I mean when you think about it my family comes from the land of giants. To them I am a Tinker Bell and I was dancing with my shadow again last night. I'm working on my balance on my tipsy toes. Some day they will be ballerina dancing feet.

You know what else I found out? The Truth behind Greg's lies? Good or bad he led me to the answers. Oh yes, and I'm certain I'll thrash his ass a few more times before this is over. It's a tough job but somebody has got to do it. It's not to take him down but to lift him up. The hits he is going to take when this gets out is nothing compared to what he is going to take when this goes down. By me finding the answers to the issues at hand here. You know this, Greg figuring things out? Picking the Mother? Not one time has he picked me. Not one time has he ever answered any questions, not one. Ever! He would tell me I'm just making excuses for my bad behavior and I recall from the very beginning he has not ever answered one question why Greg? Why can't you be here for me? Where are you Greg every time the chips fall? Why did you leave me to clean up your mess? When I got out of my first rehab looking back I apologized to him for my side of the street. I knew all along that he burned me out. He literally kept his right hand on the pillow on the bed. Do you wanna know what his response was? A curt nod and eye roll up. That was all. Why Greg did you always dump your dirty laundry at my doorstep and expect me to clean it up? For now on Greg you clean up your own messes. I'm done.

I got a list as long as my arm, easily. Want to know what else I have learned? I posted a few days back on my Facebook post a It a picture of Greg with Alex, and I wrote what was in my heart. That seems to be all I do is write what is in my heart at the moment. I wrote this is why I do this for these two people and Kiley. Never forget Kiley. I had just handed him back to them upstairs to do with what they want and I realized when I wrote that I took him back again. I wasn't happy about that.

I also learned what I got and I've gotten stronger in just who it is that I am. My family rocks what can I say? I like the way they teach better than any classroom I ever sat in. I found a couple days ago another nickel it was dated 2006. That is what IC. I see two zero's two times strong. The two you least expect? The two you didn't see coming? Who says two middle aged people can't bring down this house of cards and show you how it's done? Who says we aren't going to hit the ball out of this park the day we take down our brother from another place and time? Because with us two all we need is one six, one heartbeat and one lighting rod.

(For those that are following along I added stuff to the end of Revelations 101)

I was looking over something I wrote the other night. I'll share it with you all.

H.O.L.Y. Florida Georgia Line
This Cross this Holly Cross
Won't be full of holes anymore
This Cross will stand strong once and for all
With The Brother and The Sister
With this Son
With this Daughter
This cross will stand strong
This cross will stand tall
This Holly Cross will be full again
Full of unconditional LOVE
This Cross will represent
One God and One Mother
Once and for all
Because we all know behind every good man
Stands a good woman
This Cross will shine bright once and for all
Under this father
Under this mother
This is Faith
This is Destiny
And in them together
One heartbeat
Two drumbeats
Three chants
Four prayers
From the North, South, East and West
And all in between
We have One Truth
We have One Power
We have One Family
Once and for all
One everlasting Love
One everlasting Light
From infinity and Beyond
Now get the Fuck off MY Rock
And don't you ever come back
This family don't beg
This family don't dicker
This family don't dawdle
Most of all this family don't run
This family, well we don't ask twice
This is my Country Pride
These are my Children
I'm the Queen Bee
I'm the Queen Cunt of all the land
Bitch I'm ready to rumble
I've got courage
I've got a heart of gold