My Lil' Red Rose

My Lil' Red Rose

Honey, do you remember this "lil' red rose"? Your first teacher's mother drew it for you when you were just three years old. You attended the Montessori. You carried it with you for the first few days. Then you put it down and I picked it up. I loved that lil' red rose too, it just seemed to have struck a chord inside my heart. I didn't want you to lose it, so I carried it in my first A.A. book along with a picture of my two lil' rosebuds from the Mothers Day Tea Party we attended.

My first A.A. meeting that I chaired was in Fall City, it was called, "The Rose", By some small miracle when I looked to the left, there hanging on the wall was a picture of my two lil' rose buds, to remind me just why I sat in that chair. You two were in the Christmas Choir a few years before, it seems they needed two more lil angels to sing along. This Mothers rock, this mothers light, that I carry inside me each day on this journey, we call life. I have come to discover baby girl, that some of us learn what love is, by living what love isn't. All to find the light once more. The true purpose on this journey is to find the light after all.

I have come to realize just who my True Shepard, that has been my guiding light all along. It seems I never knew he was the one that has kept me moving each day, I hurt inside this mothers bleeding heart. One thing I knew inside long ago was when the light turned off inside me. The day I lost you, my lil' red rose, so I carried you inside me everyday and I never let you go. I'm just making my own tiny footprints in this life for you to follow.

It seems Sunshine I've been revolving my life around that sun this whole time and I didn't even know it. We all have our crosses to bare in this life and well that brother of mine can be a royal pain in my arse sometimes too. This brother he has heart and he's been holding it in the palm of his hand this whole time. Yup, baby girl if I gotta have a Big Daddy standing behind me, well I pick him, hand's down I pick Him and yes, I would walk through a valley of bloody roses to get to Him.

Yes sweet pea, you have left tiny footprints across my heart, My one wish for you this year, is to turn this families lilies into a bed of red roses. I once told you long ago "Sunshine you choose, and choose you shall do". Your pick in your own sweet time my love, this mothers bloody tear drop will wash the rivers clean for you once and forevermore. This Purpose Driven Life I lead, the reason my mother, and that mother before you kept taking the hit's is for you baby girl, this families lil" red rose. You know what I wouldn't change one thing, because to me your worth it, and so is that Father and that Brother, that stands at heavens gates holding my teddy bear, tucked safely under his arm.

As much as I hate to let this Lil Red Rose go, you bet the flying flock I want you to spread your wings and fly, just not to far, never to far from my heart. My light in the dark.

I love you Sunshine, My Lil' Red Rose.

Always and forevermore,
Your mother forevermore,
Red Rock Lily Rose.